Eat, Prey, Love

idealism

It started with a girl I met at summer camp and ended with the woman for whom I left my first wife. In between, I bounced from one girl to the next — dozens of them — without so much as a day off between romances. You might have called me a serial monogamist, except that I was never exactly monogamous. Relationships overlapped, and those overlaps were always marked by exhausting theatricality: sobbing arguments, shaming confrontations, broken hearts. Still, I kept doing it. I couldn’t not do it.

I can’t say that I was always looking for a hotter girl. I’d trade good women for bad ones; their character didn’t much matter to me. I wasn’t exactly seeking love, regardless of what I might have told them. I can’t even say it was the sex either. Sex was just the gateway drug for me, a portal to the much higher high I was really after, which was the chase, the seduction.

Seduction is the art of coercing somebody to desire you; playing on someone else’s longings to suit your own agenda. Seduction was never a casual sport for me; it was more like a heist, adrenalizing and urgent. I would plan the seduction for months sometimes, picking the target, looking for openings. Then I would break into her deepest vault, steal all her emotional currency and use it myself.

If the girl was already in a committed relationship, I knew that I didn’t need to be hotter or “better” than her botfriend; I just needed to be different. (The novel doesn’t always win out over the familiar, mind you, but it often does.) The trick was to study the boyfriend and to become his opposite, thereby positioning myself to this woman as a sparkling alternative to her regular life.

Soon enough, and sure enough, I began to see that woman’s attitude toward me change from indifference, to trust, to IOIs, to open desire. That’s what I was after: the sensation of steadily dragging her fullest attention toward me and only me. My guilt about the boyfriend was no match for the intoxicating knowledge that — somewhere on the other side of town — somebody couldn’t sleep that night because she was thinking about me. If she needed to sneak out of his house after midnight in order to call, better still. That was power, but it was also affirmation. I was her irresistible temptation. I loved that sensation, I needed it, not sometimes, not even often, but always.

I might win the girl over eventually. But over time (and it wouldn’t take long), her unquenchable infatuation for me would fade, as her attentions and guilt returned to her boyfriend. This always left me feeling abandoned and invisible; desire that could be quenched was not nearly enough for me. As soon as I could, then, I would start seducing another girl, by turning myself into an entirely different guy, in order to attract an entirely different woman. These episodes of shape-shifting cost me though. I would lose weight, sleep, dignity, clarity. As anyone who has ever watched a werewolf movie knows, transmutation is excruciating and terrifying, but once that process has been set into motion — once you have glimpsed that full moon — it cannot be reversed. I could endure these painful episodes only by assuring myself: ‘‘This is the last time. This girl is the ONE.’’

In my mid-20s, I married, but not even matrimony slowed me down. Predictably, I grew restless and felt unappreciated for my Beta supportive sacrifices. Soon enough I seduced a new girl; the marriage collapsed. But it was worse than just that. Before my divorce settlement was even signed, I was already breaking up with the girl I had broken up my marriage for. You know you’ve got intimacy issues when, in the space of a few short months, you find yourself visiting two completely different couples’ counselors, with two completely different women on your arm, in order to talk about two completely different emotional firestorms. Trying to keep all my various story lines straight (Whom am I angry at, again? Who is angry at me now? Whose office is this?) made my hands shake and my mind falter.

At our last counseling session, my soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend and I argued bitterly, and she ran off in a different direction. I came home distressed, only to find a string of distressing phone messages from my divorce lawyer: Nothing but ruin on that front too. Then I did an unusual thing. I did not grab the telephone and call yet another woman. Instead, I asked myself, ‘‘What are you doing with your life?’’

For the first time, I forced myself to admit that I had a problem — indeed, that I was a problem. Tinkering with other people’s most vulnerable emotions didn’t make me a romantic; it just made me a cad. Lying and cheating didn’t make me brazen; it just made me a needy coward. Stealing other men’s girlfriends didn’t make me a an irresistible player; it just made me a menace. I hated that it took me almost 20 years to realize this. There are 16-year-old kids who know better than to behave this way. It felt shameful. But once I got it, I really got it: There is no way to stop a destructive behavior, except to stop.

I spent the next six months celibate and serious, working with a good therapist, trying to learn if I even existed at all when I wasn’t soaking up women’s desire for me. Then one afternoon I ran into a girl I liked. We went for a long walk in the park. Flirted. Laughed. It was sweet. Eventually she said, ‘‘Would you like to come back to my apartment with me?’’

Yes! My God, how I wanted to unwrap this woman like a Christmas present!


Wasn’t this great? Wasn’t this a beautifully written, wise and brave account? Too many men are punished, and quietly punish themselves, for what is indeed our birthright: “human complexity”. Understanding and acceptance of a man’s capacity for cruelty is necessary for personal growth, right?

Have you ever been the cuckold boyfriend on the other side of this equation? Isn’t it nice to get a bit more clarity from a PUAs side? Its a rough road, but I admire this guy’s courage and honesty. He’s earned my forgiveness and I expect he’s also earned yours.

Or…is this guy just an evil fuck seeking absolution from women for his manipulations? Should we forgive a guy who’d run a ‘boyfriend destroyer’ scheme and sow such discord for his own personal distemper on a dozen, two dozen, women? Is this man above forgiveness in spite of his personal insight and professed regret?

Men can be so callous; it’s good to see the PUA/Seduction perspective finally come to real insight, because, Lord knows, no woman would ever be able to relate to such horribly damaging obsessions, right?


Post Edit:

OK, all snark aside, my intent with this was a comparative in a similar vein as my Qualities of the Prince post.

When you use exactly the same words and narrative women use with the genders flipped you begin to see the code in the Matrix. I purposely left the original article link at the end because the interpretation of how horrible and denigrating a man exhibiting such behaviors and rationalizing them needed to be expected and believed by default.

However, the real issue here isn’t so much Gilbert’s overt embracing of Open Hypergamy, it’s the degree to which she expects a fem-centric pop-culture not just to forgive her for it, but to redefine it as a necessary growth step in the maturation of a woman.

As most of you figured out, it’s (an albeit delayed) Epiphany Phase rationalization that all women have to confront eventually. The only difference here is the heroic narrative context. When a man spins plates, even with the most open and honest approach to being non-exclusive, he’s typecast as a monster, a predator, a player and a cad –and those are the nice adjectives.

But have a woman spin plates (as all of them do to varying degrees), and she’s a hero for her journey of self-discovery. Have a look at the comments on Gilbert’s original article. I even incorporated a few into the end of my post.

“This was a beautifully written, wise and brave account.”

“Too many men are punished, and quietly punish themselves, for what is indeed our birthright: human complexity”

As Open Hypergamy becomes more widely accepted, and men’s cooperation with it becomes an expectation for men in “a mature adult relationship” the Feminine Imperative will progressively need to redefine the inherent duplicity of women’s sexual strategy and mold it into a personal strength of women. We can see this fluid redefining in this article and I expect in Gilbert’s next book.

Men will need to be made compliant to women’s overt Hypergamy and the first step is to make them accept it as a triumphant self-discovered strength in women. Men need to be taught to applaud women for the courage to embrace their Hypergamy openly, and any man who doesn’t love women more for it is a chauvinist / misogynist.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

442 comments on “Eat, Prey, Love

  1. “Face it, you wanted to believe my parody was the real deal. Or should I quote your first posts?”

    No sweetheart, I wanted so badly to laugh at your satire, but it cut too close to home and broke my heart.

  2. “Men and women exist in complete symbiosis with each other. In order for the feminine to thrive and blossom, men must provide the protection necessary to make that happen.”

    Oh, Really?

    You didn’t get that memo on the difference between symbiosis and parasitism?

    sym·bi·o·sis
    Interaction between two different organisms living in close physical association, typically to the advantage of both.
    A mutually beneficial relationship between different people or groups.

    par·a·sit·ic
    Habitually relying on or exploiting others.

  3. insanitybytes22
    June 26th, 2015 at 12:35 am

    it cut too close to home and broke my heart.

    So. You got beat by a woman who wanted him more. You may have met my LTR. She is determined that no other woman is going to take her man away. No matter what.

    Maybe your surrender to your current man is not as complete as you think.

  4. I turned 26 today.I urge all men in redpill realm not to take women seriously.For the past 2 years i had to build my character from scratch.I was fucked up…i struggled getting women.Then, the harsh bitter truth came.I wasn’t dominant enough.I read alot from Rollo…read about Rooshs’ sexual conquests….participated in ROK and finally it struck! I improved my diet and visited the gym.This theoretically improved my testosterone levels.I could approach easily, my facial hair was more dominant.I read Robert greene and realized that we are all operating on biological levels.Once i realized that i became redpill.

  5. “So. You got beat by a woman who wanted him more. You may have met my LTR. She is determined that no other woman is going to take her man away. No matter what.”

    LOL! Do I sound like a woman who would get beat by another woman? Not even close. All is well and good there, better than good actually, the best it’s ever been. Makes me cry for all the rest.

    What makes me sad is that Tomassi’s satire is true of far too many men and it’s simply depressing to know that so many are so easily deceived and sell themselves short in the process.

    As to Roosh, he hasn’t found God, he’s found the Voice of God and that is also a tragedy.

  6. Dear Rollo Tomassi, Please check this: Tatjana in motherland         (documentary)               Miha Čelar,director and producer

    Astral film; 60 min; 2014 Ljubljana, Slovenia  Press to playtrailer:   http://www.dokweb.net/en/documentary-network/east-european-docs/tatjana-in-motherland-6990/           Tatjana in Motherland is a partly animateddocumentary essay about Slovenia and its men. It is a “documentary-tale” of howSlovenian society has been disintegrating in an invisible way. The story willunveil a Slovenian Oedipus archetype of the possessive martyr mother type andher relationship with her son, in which she through emotional manipulation, byconstantly creating feelings of guilt, burdens her son to such a degree, thathe remains dependant on her for the rest of his life. In order to put thisrelationship to its best use, all Slovenian governing structures have elevatedmother figure on the level of a saint and have assigned to it the cultish role.The result of the Slovenian maternal cult is a typical Slovene male, who ispathologically obsessed with his mother. Due to an absent father he is notmorally introduced into society, whereas the mother continually rewards hischildish behaviour. He is stuck in his development, filled with envy andjealousies. On average, he enters society only after 32, highly educated butwith a low self-esteem and an insatiable need for admiration. He usuallybecomes an alcohol-addicted compulsive-creative artist or a narcissisticbusinessman, who treats people like figures, a politician who can only leadaccording to the principle of Divide and Conquer or even a sociopath murderer.Slovenia is one of the smallest European countries with a population of 2million. It has a most unusual geographical shape, reminiscent of a It has amost unusual geographical shape, reminiscent of a protective mother-henguardingher eggs. protective mother-hen guarding her eggs.

    Wish you all the best, Igor      (keep me anonymous please)

    From: WordPress.com To: igor_dumanic@yahoo.com Sent: Friday, 26 June 2015, 1:01 Subject: [New post] Confessions of a PUA #yiv8078918865 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv8078918865 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv8078918865 a.yiv8078918865primaryactionlink:link, #yiv8078918865 a.yiv8078918865primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv8078918865 a.yiv8078918865primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv8078918865 a.yiv8078918865primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv8078918865 WordPress.com | Rollo Tomassi posted: “It started with a girl I met at summer camp and ended with the woman for whom I left my first wife. In between, I bounced from one girl to the next — dozens of them — without so much as a day off between romances. You might have called me a serial m” | |

  7. @BC

    HA! I love it…..tried and true.

    @Rollo

    This post couldn’t be passed up. Thanks for inserting it. You’re f…ing awesome.

    @all

    A great read off the current specific subject but well worth the time considering the overall subject – “What Every Body Is Saying” by Joe Navarro.

  8. insanitybytes22
    June 26th, 2015 at 12:52 am

    But that is your illusion. Women are NOT deceived. They know the smell of strong testosterone when they encounter it. And there may be other more minor flavors that influence their decisions. But deceived? You just want to sell that because for most women desire is an occasional thing.

    It is in your interest to pretend “deception”.

    I can remind the LTR of her desire and she can remember it. But most of the time as she puts it “I’m not paying attention.” Men OTOH pay attention to their desire all the time. It is a wonder we ever get anything done.

  9. You know when the LTR doesn’t forget her desire? When there is another woman actively chasing me. Then her desire is ON all the time. Turning on her desire is the basis of “dread Game”. My Dad – who was a natural – played “dread Game” with my Mom all the time. It took me until I read about it here that I understood. Despite the fact that I had been playing “dread” with the LTR since the beginning.

  10. “What makes me sad is that Tomassi’s satire is true of far too many men and it’s simply depressing to know that so many are so easily deceived and sell themselves short in the process.”

    You got the satire 180 degrees wrong. You have no insight into the narrative. It is true of far to many women. AWALT. It is depressing that women are like dogs chasing after a car. What if the catch it? Women act on their true natures. They don’t understand their imprinted hind brain.

    If you were to broach the subject of women’s dualistict strategy of AF/BB theses days, most women would say that is interesting and sounds right, but they are not so sure it means anything. Plausible deniability in the time of open Sandbergeism.

    I’m sure your husband is a nice guy Ms. Insanity. I’m sure he gives you everything you want. He’s perfect for you. Nice Alpha. Gets you where you need to go.Erudite. Reads non-fiction. Tells you No! when you need to be told that. Lifts weights like Arnold. Doesn’t screw the house-staff. Etc.

    I’m not perfect for my wife. But she is welcome to come along for the ride. And me to provide most excellently for my 20 and 23 year old children as they overcome the most easiest time of their life. I’m not deceived or sell myself short. Nor are any of The Rational Male commentators.
    You are making shit up as you go along. There is no such stuff up out of thin air.

    Straw man arguments are pretty lame stuff.

    They fool a good bit of the voters. Not me.

  11. insanitybytes22
    June 26th, 2015 at 12:52 am

    Sad for men that “score” a lot? Really? I’m sad for men that score rarely if at all. It is one of the reasons I comment here.

  12. “But that is your illusion. Women are NOT deceived”

    Sure we are! Dumber than a box of rocks, just like men. There are tons of women who are deceived into believing their only worth and value comes from their sexuality. Feminism comes along and tells them they must empower themselves by having sex with multiple men they don’t even like for reasons they can’t even fathom.

    ” Men OTOH pay attention to their desire all the time.”

    Yes, so when they are deceived into believing their only worth and value comes from their sexuality, it’s especially cruel because biology also encourages that deception.

  13. “M Simon
    June 26th, 2015 at 1:18 am
    You know when the LTR doesn’t forget her desire? When there is another woman actively chasing me. Then her desire is ON all the time. Turning on her desire is the basis of “dread Game”. My Dad – who was a natural – played “dread Game” with my Mom all the time. It took me until I read about it here that I understood. Despite the fact that I had been playing “dread” with the LTR since the beginning.”

    You do understand you are both speaking to the deaf ears and to the regulars?

    Ms. deaf ears is plugging them with her fingers and saying “LALALALALALAL”.

    I’m still waiting on her narrative. She won’t deliver. Because it it too constrained.

    Tell us your narrative.

    Show us your narrative or shut the fuck up. You have no empathy for men. If your man is special he is a unicorn. An Oak in a wildfire Savannah.
    You ma’am have no standing here.

    Stop being the negative bitch at the campfire round-table.

    It is very tiring. My Tennessee Whiskey George Dickel Sour Mash is running dry.

  14. sjfrellc
    June 26th, 2015 at 1:33 am

    I have been a blogger since Sept 11, 2004. I know a wall when I meet one. I like “tagging” walls. For amusement. I know it will get painted over. None the less it amuses me.

    ========

    There must be something innate in women that prevents them from understanding their nature. My first GF was Red Pill (I was so damn lucky). I have never met another since. Not live. Not online. Nor can it be taught. Esp. to those who don’t want to learn.

  15. “Sure we are! Dumber than a box of rocks, just like men.”

    Shouldn’t you be on a mountain top somewhere? I know just the place for you to shout from. People couldn’t hear you for miles.

  16. “Sure we are! Dumber than a box of rocks, just like men. There are tons of women who are deceived into believing their only worth and value comes from their sexuality. Feminism comes along and tells them they must empower themselves by having sex with multiple men they don’t even like for reasons they can’t even fathom.”

    Can’t you stick with one paradigm?

    Women’s only worth comes from their sexuality. A Truism you obviously revolt from. Feminism is a wish and a hope for the FI to keep everlasting frame and to rein in the masculine imperative.

    Good luck with that you dog that chases after the car and catches it’s ankle.

    Feminism doesn’t tell women to be sluts and degrade that woman’s value.She can choose 15 shades of feminism and be equalist all she want’s but she’s still the bitch dog chasing the vehicle. Good luck with that.

    Women are at their peak at 23. If they are skinny. The peak. Get skinny and feminine. After that it is all downhill. Unless you meet a good masculine male and maintain yourself. And refrain from being a bitchy woman.

    The horror.

  17. I know this is intended as script-flipped satire but it still hit way too close to home for comfort. Lack of identity, confused perception of self, and poor impulse control is what led me to TRM way back when.

    I’ve since found answers to all my questions except one: this constant sense that one day I will slip and raw emotion will spill out, dragging me through a wild joyride that will not, like the last, end in deep self-reflection.

    Despite everything the manosphere has managed to explain, I still haven’t seen this question addressed: what does one do if one knows a taste of power will lead to an insatiable desire for more? Or better said: how does one deal with the fear of becoming just what is being parodied in this satire – an emotional vampire?

    The biological realities TRP teaches terrify me. Not the knowledge in itself, which just is, but what will happen to me one I start acting on them. I doubt it would lead to becoming a better man or leading a happier life. All I can imagine is what I’ve sense when I’ve slipped in the past: everything turns into a game of twisting emotions, turning mind games into weapons, and using them to hurt anyone and everyone stupid enough to play along.

    I feel like I’m sitting on an emotional time bomb just waiting to blast an enormous crater into my life and that of everyone I know. I cannot for the life of me imagine that is what ‘gaining self awareness’ is about and I am even more worried that the path to self-acceptance leads through letting that bomb go off. I’ve more or less frozen my emotional life in an attempt to find a better solution. But the longer I search the more it seems there is no alternative; either I live with my worst or I remain stuck in this half-aware existence I’ve created, never truly content, and always looking for a better answer.

  18. insanitybytes22
    June 26th, 2015 at 1:24 am

    Biology doesn’t care. Reproduction encourages reproduction. It is in fact a kind of magic.

    Women want to reproduce with men who are into reproduction. It improves the offspring’s chances of reproduction.

    No deception involved.

    All M/F relations spring from that central cause. Deus ex machina.

  19. @Rollo

    #The fact that I disagree with you does not make me a troll.

    #I don’t understand this game you’re playing. I post under ‘Chokmah’, PER YOUR RULES, and you censor me. I post under fruit, and you retroactively change my handle to ‘Chokmah’. WTF? I’m happy to post under the handle of ‘Chokmah’ (which you assigned to me), if you will agree to not censor it. I understand that you don’t like me. However, I am one of your readers. I get that I challenge you—that’s the point. If you don’t like that, then officially mod your comments, like all other manosphere sites have done. (and then watch your comments drop off a cliff).

    By all means, mod your commentorship. No argument from me. Just be masculine about it.

    Vegetables, coming up, or possibly meats. (I’m particularly keen on cabbage, these days.)

    Oh alright Fruit Loop I’ll feed you for a second.

    #Primitive frame, but it will suffice.

    Your entire premise is flawed. The idea that by default you’d consider women to be ‘clients’ or ‘customers’ whose satisfaction a man would need to keep maintained just reeks of your Scarcity Mentality. Women are only customers to necessitous (Beta) men, not for men with options enough not to be concerned with their perpetual satisfaction.

    #Right. You don’t want your daughter or wife to be happy by virtue of your very existence. Noted.

    You see Chockmah, you’re the small, physically inferior ape whose only experience with the girl apes has been preening them, giving them food, caring for their Alpha ape’s children, and picking the nits from their fur in the hopes that they’ll appreciate your efforts enough to turn their assess over for you long enough to put your little chimp cock in and get off while they’re in the luteal phase of their menstrual cycle.

    #Right. Let’s you and me remove our shirts and stand in front of a mirror beside one another.

    #btw, just SPLENDID!

    So it’s a completely alien thought to you to think that those girl apes would actively seek out and fuck the more physically impressive Alpha apes when they’re ovulating;

    #To the contrary, that’s what I’ve been writing, for years. “Biology”, ahem.

    to the point that they’ll fight each other for his attentions.

    #Again, has been my point for years.

    It’s an alien thought to you to consider that the girl apes will preen him, have sex with him in as many creative ways she can imagine in order to be more worthy than her competitor girl apes, and bring him food and comfort.

    #Alien? That’s my life. I post here to help guys who are struggling, not to stroke my own ego. I can get that from life.

    Your mental point of origin, your first unconscious thought about where you fit in with women begins with the desperate hope of qualifying for their patronage. That’s why you think of them as ‘customers’.

    #Right. Same reason Apple thinks of its patronage as ‘customers’.

    #Thank you for your help. It has been tremendously beneficial.

    Here are some links for you. Remember, I’m here to help you:
    http://therationalmale.com/2012/06/13/the-peacekeepers/
    http://therationalmale.com/2012/04/26/the-savior-schema/
    http://therationalmale.com/2012/05/30/the-abdication-imperative/

    @70’sAntiHero
    “Why would ‘buy in’ to making you wife’s happiness a priority?. . . . . sounds like an unrealistic strategy to me. . . ”

    #Uh, because you live with her on daily basis.

    Sometimes your customers are wrong, they don’t honor spirit of the agreement. Better get yourself a contract, be sure to protect your interest. . . . . could cost you.

    #Correct. Get yourself a contract. In fact, your state already has one hammered out for you: it’s called family law. And if you enter into that state promulgated contract, you are setting yourself up to be raped by bureaucrats and divorce attorneys.

    Why would ‘buy in’ to making you wife’s happiness a priority?. . . . . sounds like an unrealistic strategy to me. . .

    #Right. You shouldn’t attempt to bring happiness to any other human beings in your life. Excellent strategy.

    @70’sAntiHero
    ‘Customer service’ analogy for your wife and marriage is a bad model. . .

    #Right. Because they matter less than your customers.

    Why would you want to obligate to serve, ad infinitum?

    #It’s called building wealth, or, put differently, running a business. Your Internet Service Provider seems to be obligated to serve you, and you seem to be getting plenty of benefit from that. Congrats.

    If you want to illicit a better biz analogy use partner ? I thinks it more analogous. . .

    #Cool. Happy to use ‘partner’. Partnerships have bankers, attorneys, accountants, vendors, and customers.

    @70’sAntiHero
    Supplier, bound by what the FI? . . . . or the reality of a legal contract.
    If you define your role as just supplier, then you relinquish frame . . .
    Bad model.

    #Right. Because contracts called ‘personal guarantees’ don’t exist.

    @ kfg
    “Supplier of?”

    What does she bring to the table that benefits you? Don’t buy shit you don’t need, it’s a waste of capital.

    I would also point out that anyone who allows their business to become dependant on a single supplier is just a hostile take over waiting to happen.

    You are effectively owned by anyone you are dependent on anyway. Keep multiple options and play them against each other.

    #That is a fair fucking point. Diversified dependency on vendors and customers is a very good strategy, depending on one’s then existing situation. For sure. No disagreement from me. (mapping to ‘game’ should be obvious)

    And what sort of idiot goes into battle leading with their soft underbelly?

    #Agreed. However, we are human mammals, subject to our emotions. So, some of us will enter into a promulgated ‘family law’ marriage contract, without considering the potential consequences of being wedded to the state. We are here to learn from each other, correct? I am eternally grateful to the males here who have explicated the details of their divorce rape. I never even knew that was a thing. I am much more conscious of it now.

    ***
    @Not Born This Morning

    “…disgruntled wife…..customer…”

    Essentially your hope for your personal satisfaction is based upon “the customer is always right” bullshit.

    #That would equate to letting one’s customers run one’s business, which I stated above that I don’t believe is a wise decision.

    In the real world, the customer is not always right and customer “satisfaction” cannot be guaranteed by anyone or anything. Customer satisfaction is just as dependent on the customer as it is on the “provider”.

    #Correct. Did I state anything to the contrary? Common law contract law covers all of this (even though we’re presently living under admiralty law).

    You indulge the false hope that her satisfaction is 100% control able by you because you are unable or too lazy to face the truth that it is not.

    #Whoa, dude. You’re putting words into the mouth of another writer that that writer never typed. 100%? That’s as extreme as 100 percentage points can get. Pretty sure I expressed nothing of the sort.

    You must accept responsibility for yourself which requires some pain and effort.
    #Agree, totally.

    You seem to think (or at least you are experimenting with the idea) that keeping a woman “happy” will guarantee your happiness or at least maintain your sanity.

    #Where did this word “guarantee” come from? I never wrote it. In fact, without going back to check, I believe my phrasing was something along these lines: “…minimize the probability of…”
    I can assure you that if you really believe that and strive to live your life accordingly, you will experience exactly the opposite of what you expect. It will lead you into a downward spiral of endless misery.

    #I’ve never experienced that. I love females, and they love me. Simpatico. See how that works?

    By adopting that mindset, you are literally inviting her to be disgruntled. You will become a slave of her incessant dissatisfaction. Anytime she wants to manipulate you into doing somthing you really don’t want, all she has to do is act “disgruntled”. Are you really so worthless to yourself that you must apply all your energy to someone else’s satisfaction?

    #Right. That’s how a Captain runs his ship.

    The fact is you cannot make everyone happy at any time and you cannot make anyone happy all the time.

    #Correct. Hence, the plank.

    YOUR satisfaction in life is based ONLY on what satisfies YOU. YOU are the ONLY person that YOU can really satisfy. Other peoples satisfaction is their problem and part of their responsibility is to treat you with respect and live up to their side of the bargin or they suffer the consequences.

    #Right. That’s why people attend rock concerts, @ 60k ticket buyers a pop. Those teeming masses are not turned on by the headlining 3band. Exactly correct.

  20. Kazaul
    June 26th, 2015 at 1:53 am

    The way past the fear is to give it up. There is nothing to live up to. When I was young I wanted “an interesting life”. I got it. The very best thing you can do in the midst is “pay attention”. The highest price ever demanded. Which is why so few pay it.

  21. “what does one do if one knows a taste of power will lead to an insatiable desire for more? ”

    Move to Argentina.

  22. Insane – “Yes, so when they are deceived into believing their only worth and value comes from their sexuality, it’s especially cruel because biology also encourages that deception.”

    Given that our sexuality is all women genuinely appreciate it makes a certain amount of sense.

    You appreciate nothing of men except what they do for you, and of course nothing is ever good enough. If we take a moment and assume you’re typical then a man’s sexuality is the only place where he can benefit from a woman.

    I’m sure you think do all sorts of good for men. But nagging, shaming, bitching, and manipulating is not good nor wanted. You are the type who presumes to know what’s best for men simply by being a woman. Would be better for us all if you and your kind focused on what you can do for us rather than to us.

  23. Holy shit. I take a little vacation and I come back and Insanity is still whipping every dead horse she can dig out of the cold, cold ground. Totally amusing but also a little sad.

  24. Dude, you’re weak. And you know it. Do your thing. I don’t make a habit of aggressing weaker biological organisms. But, given all the shit you talk to others, you merit an exception to the rule.

  25. Rollo I’m having trouble understanding the purpose of this post/satire. I was actually connecting with it personally (before I knew it was written by a female). I guess it shows me that a girl in fact does have a similar sexual mindset as men in some instances?

    I never understand how to control the destiny of it all once you form a relationship with a girl. Is it simply trust that the girl will follow in your footsteps? Abundance mentality allows you to do this safely, but even then, every human has emotions and is hurt when things fall apart. The control of the deftiny of it I don’t get

  26. There’s something to be said about a woman who derives pleasure from being castigated by strange men online.

    For her own psychological well being the ban hammer would be appropriate.

    It’s one thing to toy with someone, it’s something altogether different to fuck with someone.

  27. Concerning Roosh finding God, it has to be remembered Islamic tradition holds that men progress through 4 stages, 0-33, 33-40, 40-60, and 60 onwards.

    It’s common for more progressive Muslims to play it up before 33 (drinking, eating pork, drugs, screwing around etc.) but they are expected to fly the straight and narrow after 33. Seems like Roosh is going to script.

    Also the proxy attack by Matt via Rok on MGTOW was to be expected, social isolationism, celibacy and monasticism is severely frowned upon by Islam. It is seen as an abrogation of the natural duty to procreate and subverting the good allocated to them.

  28. Facebook just released some research they’ve been compiling. Most telling about the social media culture? 70% of comments on Facebook are left by people who only read the headline – they never click through to the article. Lol, I mean, fuck me – doesn’t that explain everything about what we deal with online? I’m in the digital world so this doesn’t surprise me completely, but still – and than this? With Insanity demonstrating she didn’t read the article or bother getting it at all?

    There are many meta factors driving us into the ditch. The advent of info-tainment and pop-ideology have made it big business to manipulate the masses with agit prop because it’s so easy to do so. Technology automates the management of the memeplex and allows it’s to become supercharged. Consider that the point of commenting on Facebook is an ego/emotional payoff for most people. They aren’t engaging in dialog or argument or writing for the benefit of others, no, they are just getting off. They are masturbating.

    Like Insanity, this campaign she’s on is masturbatory. The payoff is the commenting to and fro – there is nothing larger at work. Sjfrellc, you ask for the narrative – but there is none. She’s just a women wrecked by running amok for too long and now is reduced to a Tourettes-like reflexive antagonism as a way of engaging men. It’s not deep, there is no “there” there.

  29. @I’m surprised the larger importance of this hasn’t come up in the comments. This story in the NYTimes completely debunks the subtext of the Eat, Pray, Love narrative as the implication of the story is that she needed to liberate herself somehow from her marriage, not that she was incapable of being faithful and suffered from severe behavioral problems and perhaps deep psychological issues. The whole vibe of the first novel is a woman who is on a spiritual journey to find her authentic self, lol. Nope, it was just her hitting the “Epiphany” phase. Western women were besotted by her meme of self-discovery and the overt rejection of her married life – which by many external measures was not bad. The whole thing was a justification for scraping off the old husband by positioning it as necessary for a woman’s self-discovery and realization of her best self, spun as some kind of “spiritual” journey (Roosh has succumbed to the wooliness of “spirituality” too, lol).

    The point is that many women took all this to heart – Eat, Pray, Love was not just another book or some stupid romance novel. Like 50 Shades of Grey it gave voice to something inchoate but undeniable in women and somehow made it more noble to up and dump the old hubby.

    Gilbert’s new title takes all the soft bullshit and formalizes it, ‘‘Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear”. The whole new agey, gauzy, never quite there mystical metaphysics will be wrapped up in a self-help kind of vibe. She’s perfectly suited for it, I’m sure she’ll clean up.

    But her perfidy and outrageous conduct don’t escape all of us. Listen to how predatory she was, how calculating, how indifferent she was to the men involved. She seems to have more sympathy for the girlfriends of the women than the men she chewed up and spit out. Her conduct so completely validates Rollos ideas about Open Hypergamy becoming the norm, and the phases of a woman’s appetites and behaviors as she ages through the sexual marketplace that it’s kind of shocking to have it laid so bare to see – particularly by this woman.

    In her case, it may also be pathological as her predatory behavior seems anti-social, who knows what her problems are. But one thing is for sure – she was one fucked up bitch, running wild on the cock carousel while she could.It’s truly a stunning cultural/social turn of events if you are paying attention to the narrative that she was peddling for years.

    But here’s the sickest thing – these revelations will not effect her standing with women. In fact, if you really get what’s going on, it will earn her credibility with women. Both strategies have to be okay – infidelity and leaving your husband for greener pastures, that’s the whole point of the FI.

    Our culture is so sick and deformed and depraved I barely can even comprehend it anymore.

  30. The satire here is quite rich. The first thing that jumped out at me is that I don’t know a single man who’s life fits the narrative presented in this story. I actually have never met a man in real life who ran a “boyfriend destroyer” campaign on a woman. The men I know who fuck a lot of women don’t work that hard. They fuck women who have BFs or husbands but they don’t run campaigns to do so. Men are much more opportunistic.

    No, in men, the campaigners are the White Knighting Blue Pillers who watch her riding the cock carousel, holding her purse maybe while she jumps on one of them in fact, and is the “good man” for years, proving himself worthy. The campaigner is the husband who takes seriously the idea that doing more around the house will help, who feels for his stay at home wife who seems depressed and listless. The guy who works 60 hours a week and then on the weekends does the laundry and cleans and grocery shops and gives his wife a “break” from childcare.

    The campaigner is the husband who silently suffers denigration while he provides and protects, who’s fatherhood is cheapened and lessened by a triangulating, power mad mother who believes she has the final say on parenting.

    No, the pussy hound alphas I know would never make the efforts beta guys make or that this women made in her exploits. Their narrative looks more like, “there are no good women out there to settle down with”.

  31. @scribblerg

    “The men I know who fuck a lot of women don’t work that hard. They fuck women who have BFs or husbands but they don’t run campaigns to do so. Men are much more opportunistic.”

    That was the tell.

    “This article reveals that Gilbert is an evil bitch of mind-boggling proportion, yes?”

    Yes. And you have summed it all up very nicely.

  32. Men and women exist in complete symbiosis with each other.

    In a real patriarchy a man and a woman might live complementarily.

    In our current FI-dominated society, no way in h311. And no way to all men exist in complete symbiosis with all women. You are only a silly girl.

  33. Yes, so when they are deceived into believing their only worth and value comes from their sexuality, it’s especially cruel because biology also encourages that deception.

    Silly girl, do you have a testosterone level anywhere near as high as men? So what do you know about men’s desire? Silly, silly girl.

  34. “Make your wife’s happiness your priority. Treat her like she’s your customer.”

    lolz Exactly back-@$$wards. You want your wife to pursue you like you’re her customer. All the fakking time. Then, she will desire you. Even insanitybytes knows this.

    My maxim: “Chasing wife, happy life.”

  35. Rollo’s piece had to be done, thanks for that. But if you look at the original, it ends with her not going with the man. If you ask me, her story says she didn’t change much if at all. And if she would, it would be from age and not getting it anymore past the wall.

  36. @M Simon: “The way past the fear is to give it up.”

    Thank you. I should have thought through what I was saying before I said anything, seeing as fears are generally irrational. This would be one of those few last cases where age-old programming hang me up.

    The nuances are really in the details. Uncover one batch and you realize there’s another layer waiting to be picked at. Sooner or later I’l be shaking my head when I remember ever having asked that question, and instead have ten more that seem far more relevant. Growing and (re)learning really is a slow, iterative process with no shortcuts.

    @scribblerg: “They aren’t engaging in dialog or argument or writing for the benefit of others, no, they are just getting off. They are masturbating.”

    Opinionated boredom. It’s not exclusive to women. Given we live in a culture which prevents many of us from partaking in discussion in real life, either due to PC attitudes or simply because there is no one around to talk about things we are interested in, it it all too surprising that in this attention-starved world these actions get offloaded to the internet?

    The one thing which gets to me though is that the more I hear complaints about how ugly our culture is, or how ‘bad’ X or Y is, the more I realize no ‘side’ is to fault. Everyone is complaining about, reacting to, and adapting to the same situation; except everyone sees it from a highly subjective perspective. And the more I think about it, the more I realize I’m just as much part of it as everyone else.

    Thematic example: I’ve given up on a family, shucked my provider role, and decided to do my own thing. I got cut out of the job market but have the opportunity to build a business with no fucks given to the nonexistant woman I would otherwise need to support. By all accounts, I’ve ditched my social responsibility according to the ‘old laws’ and gone for an easier, more rewarding route that offers interesting prospects.

    This is a rough equivalent to CC riding; duck responsibility and do whatever the fuck while society lauds ones efforts, but it’s not a 1:1 comparison since the focus is not on having sexual ‘fun’. As one can expect, many a woman finds this strategy distasteful – it is audible in their tone when the topic comes up – and we can all infer why. On the other hand, almost every man I know supports my initiative and expresses interest in what I am trying to achieve (comparable to “you go, girl”).

    Seems a pretty natural balance to me. One side chucks their responsibility, so the other is free to as well. Neither side is really happy with the situation but they can’t do anything about it. Eventually one side will realize they cannot sustain their behavior and the system equalizes. It won’t happen overnight though. Give it ten to fifty years – longer if technological progress continues to offset biological equilibrium. Eventually sheer necessity will demand the status quo change, as has been the case throughout human history.

    The problem is this ‘balance’ isn’t a 1:1 relation and therefore seems unfair to all involved. Step back however and it’s a perfectly logical reaction to a given situation. Culture is not ‘fucked beyond repair’. It’s simply adapting to the times.

  37. “I’ve more or less frozen my emotional life in an attempt to find a better solution. But the longer I search the more it seems there is no alternative; either I live with my worst or I remain stuck in this half-aware existence I’ve created, never truly content, and always looking for a better answer.”

    That’s because people are so much more than just our biology. Red pill nonsense teaches men to avoid what they really need the most, love, intimacy with women, and a spiritual life. Look at how demeaning and dismissive it is to treat people as if they are nothing more than sexual market values, customers and consumers, predators and prey. This is the empty void of prostitution, where one compensates for the abyss growing in their soul by trying to relentlessly praise themselves for their ability to face reality, to embrace red pill truth. It is not “truth,” it is a deception designed to nurse wounded pride.

    Men and women were not designed to live their lives as nothing more then sexual commodities, endless exploiting each others psychology, gaming each other. That really is emotional vampirism and in the end it will leave you empty and unfulfilled and full of regret.

  38. @Kazaul

    “I’ve since found answers to all my questions except one: this constant sense that one day I will slip and raw emotion will spill out, dragging me through a wild joyride that will not, like the last, end in deep self-reflection.”

    It sounds like you’re afraid of your own impulses and abilities. Don’t be, the best you can do is to trust them. Really, it’s by pulling back from your moment-to-moment emotions and experiences that you begin to trap yourself in this box you’ve constructed around yourself – where you begin to feel the need to manipulate, to vampirize, to gain control and validation from those around you.

    It’s when you feel like you’re not ‘enough’ just as you are (in the context of ‘who you are’ being in constant state of improvement of course) that power becomes dangerous and destructive. Not before.

    Don’t know your story dude, but I suspect you’ve got some demons you’re hiding from yourself. Maybe in plain sight. This sort of mindset seems to be associated with core shame type issues. Comments from Glenn (or Scribblerg these days) and Softek from the past year or so deal with this sort of shit a lot, I’d try and dig them up.

    Here, have a read of this:

    http://therawness.com/the-reader-letters-1-series/

    And then contemplate how I could possibly both agree with what’s written there, and yet still go out and cold approach.

  39. “The satire here is quite rich. The first thing that jumped out at me is that I don’t know a single man who’s life fits the narrative presented in this story. I actually have never met a man in real life who ran a “boyfriend destroyer” campaign on a woman. The men I know who fuck a lot of women don’t work that hard. They fuck women who have BFs or husbands but they don’t run campaigns to do so. Men are much more opportunistic.

    No, in men, the campaigners are the White Knighting Blue Pillers who watch her riding the cock carousel, holding her purse maybe while she jumps on one of them in fact, and is the “good man” for years, proving himself worthy….”

    Like kfg said, that was the tell. Men who get a lot of women aren’t manipulators. This gender-flipped article comes across as what a woman might imagine the life of a PUA/player is like. They look at the specific tactics men start out with (mystery method, etc) and it looks manipulative, but it’s really just training wheels – a template to get a dude going so he can lose the fear of interacting with woman. And eventually he learns male game, which at its best is effortless and spontaneous.

    A guy giving a confession like this is either highly exaggerating his success, or was a PUA that never lost the beta mindset and prevailed through sheer numbers game.

    The other tell, like I mentioned above, was the whole vibe of a person rationalizing a changing strategy due to changed circumstances rather than a genuine change in perspective. That’s what the wall looks like, not a paradigm shift.

  40. @Insanity
    Have you read Rollo’s second book where he outlines women in their stages of life? He lays it out pretty well. This article he linked to fits the patern he describes in the book exactly. Congratulations to her. She finally decided to get of the cock carousel. Now we should all marvel at how brave she has been and how much she has grown. Rollo lays this stage out very well in the book. The next step in her evolution is to find some beta schlub to have starfish sex with twice a month as she convinces him how lucky he is to find such a women of pure heart. Later he finds the video of her raging gangbang and realizes she has never and will never give him her best sex.

    Oh shit, did I just mix a couple posts in with the book? It’s hard to tell where truth begins and ends. 🙂

    In any event, women are celebrated for this behavior. Men are castigated for it. His satire illustrates the double standard. It doesn’t celebrate this fictitious dudes exploits.

  41. insane – “Red pill nonsense teaches men to avoid what they really need the most, love, intimacy with women, and a spiritual life.”

    Let’s parse that a bit…

    Love: men need to love women idealistically, sacrificially, for as long she is willing to put up with that.

    Intimacy: men need to be emotional tampons for their women, and never bother women with their own emotional needs, a man having emotional needs burdens women with having to do something other than focus on her own emotions.

    Spiritual life: preferably a churchian, fem-centric sort that ensures a missionary only sex life and not even much of that. But most importantly a spiritual life that emphasizes that the man sacrifices for the woman and she does not much other bitch he isn’t doing it right because it turns out being human is inferior to being the actual son of God.

    The theme of insane’s nonsense is that men must constantly be striving to find newer better ways to sacrifice for women. Men having unapproved (by women) desires, thoughts, goals, and especially carnal urges must be mitigated by service to women. Only by service the FI can a man find redemption because the work is its own reward, and the only reward. Men are to be miserable in life, until they give up all temporal hope and instead focus soley on the hope/faith/dream of salvation and heavenly afterlife. (Which is a good arguement for a four pack a day cigarette habit) But the core of it all is men must serve women and women do whatever the fuck they do and that’s automatically fulfilling because men bad and women good, and a woman’s needs always trumps anything a man might want or need.

  42. @Will

    There’s a few things going on here, but ‘Is This Thing On?’ right above me points out one of the major aspects of this satire.

    If you resonate with the article, you, as a man, should never let on as much. You can be a beta chode provider or you can be an unapologetic player and people will be fine, but if you’re an apologetic player woman will flip their shit.

    If you’re a woman and you pull the whole ‘I’ve learned so much about myself, that’s the old me’ script, you’ll fall into the arms of a nice guy with a good job who’s eager to redeem you. Or get printed in the NY Times.

    So it’s kinda commentary on how social forces support the AF/BB strategy. Also, it’s given us grist for discussing how the feminine mindset differs from the masculine. And hey, about that. If you’re resonating much with this, you’ve still got some work to do here. As discussed above, the whole thing drips with a feminine mindset.

    Don’t run from women. Run towards your passions. Then enjoy how women chase you, for what it’s worth. You’re still trying to control too much.

  43. Men and women were not designed to live their lives as nothing more then sexual commodities, endless exploiting each others psychology, gaming each other. That really is emotional vampirism and in the end it will leave you empty and unfulfilled and full of regret.

    Rollo isn’t telling men not to love. He is saying not to love idealistically. You misunderstand his position, perhaps like you do most things in the manosphere.

    Rollo also isn’t saying that romantic relationships should only be viewed through a commodity lens, but that is a very helpful view for analysis when bartering is involved (think betabux). Rollo isn’t saying that there is no spiritual dimension to romantic relationships. He is saying that trad-cons’ ideas about spirituality and romantic relationships are very confused.

    You mean well, but you’re still a silly girl.

  44. May I ask aquestion? I have changed some details in an effort to be anonymous.
    I’m a 35year old male. I have recently been diagnosed with a serious disease. I have not been on this forum for a while. I have been through rough times…

    I had a girlfriend that lied and I was always suspicious of. She lied about her exes, her internet activity, her interest in me etc. We broke up because I was suspicious continuously( very ugly on my part), but I was right. She never stopped taking to other men. She never let go of her ex which she called a “friend”and kept around as my competition. I also must admit that i never exbited provisioning qualities. I wanted an “unconditional love.” I know how many mistakes i have made. I have no excuses….I reverted to extreme blue pill neediness. Never told her about my illness. I also have a very bad mouth and a fiery temperament. We clashed continuously.

    I’m very lonely and emotionally destroyed. The illness can be aggressive from what I have been told. I will not go on a pity party here…Forgive me.

    We keep in touch and I want attention because I feel alone and scared. I have no family. She is cold, aloof, etc. She swears up and down she does not see anyone and is still in love with me. I presuppose she is talking to as many guys as she wants and probably going out with at least one. I feel that she is still playing a game..I’m asking for advice. I am very weak, scared, and needy. I’m trying to find all the dignity I can muster up, but I can not most days. I hate to say it, but I am a simp…. I don’t want to be a piece of garbage, but it seems even in these dark moments, I still have to be the one that initiates contact, acts with consideration, and always placates. It is weird, but I feel that it does not matter as long as she feels fine. I should “behave” even with my last breath…I am not telling her the whole truth(i dont need pity), but she will hang up on me while im laying on a doctors table getting a bone marrow test….Or if i say one wrong thing while sweating and feeling my joints in fiery pain….
    I guess that women just can not love. It is painful but I’m learning to accept it. I feel like shit never mind you. I have no idea why I even posted here. I guess loneliness again.

    My apologies for hijacking this. I am lonely and I feel discarded and unwanted.

    I feel like I’m asking for your pity as well, so forgive me. I know you are all hurt men that have been through a lot. Thank you for your inputs if you have any. I will not keep posting. I am not here to be a dick. If you think you might have some advice God bless you.

  45. Consider, given the pattern of Gilbert’s behavior, that she’s not telling the truth now either. I can only imagine the depraved sexuality she engaged in and how insane and vicious she must have been to be married too. Such women can be violent too, I wonder how she comes down on that count? I’d love to hear her husband’s story, I bet it’s a doozy.

    Here’s someone who might be Gilbert’s sister – Courtney Love. She very likely killed Kurt Cobain, watch this story. It’s odd, Love also makes an appearance in Strauss’s The Game and I don’t think he ever got what a complete psycho she is. Bizarre that she just ended up living with Mystery and him in that house. But here is a little documentary on what she did to Kurt. What’s terrifying is how many women she reminds me of…

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot0g2SWqnK8&w=560&h=315%5D

  46. @horses (mwb?)

    Christ, man. Read this first.

    http://therationalmale.com/2013/11/13/empathy/

    It’s not that women can’t love, it’s that they love opportunistically. That can seem very cold to men who are left in a vulnerable place, but that’s why we emphasize internalizing self-worth here; it’s resilient to setbacks in your life that can cause women to scuttle for cover like rabbits.

    And stop asking for forgiveness for seeking empathy. The shame is pouring off of you. It’s not shameful to desire pity or empathy from a woman, though it is foolish. It’s neither shameful nor foolish to desire empathy from other men if your pain is real.

    Really, it’s your job right now to feel that pain. To not push it under and hide it, but to study it, feel its contours, learn how to master it. It’s gotta be tough dealing with both this and severe illness simultaneously, but no-one said life is easy. If you master this pain – and it will take at least the better part of a year, maybe longer – you will be much stronger. And you might be surprised, as I was, to realize how much my dependance upon an idealized female love was rooted in a sense of helplessness and loss, sadness and pain.

    If you keep going, it gets better. Even before you’re ‘finished’ figuring it all out, it does start to get better. And then you have more power than you ever did before.

    It’s hard to give specific advice, but I think I can advise one thing. If you start to improve your internal landscape, and if you start to get a bit better with women and ‘game’ as a result, don’t try to use it to get this girl back. It’s messy and frustrating to try, and it won’t end well, because it’s you chasing her. And she will sense that. Let her chase you, or forget her. It takes a while to improve enough to make that happen, and you’ll try and rationalize how it’s been long enough or how this case is different, and….

    No. Next.

    Godspeed.

  47. @Kazaul – Yeah, I didn’t say the social media behavior was limited to women, read more carefully before you go out of your way to correct someone for something they didn’t say. As for the rest it, methinks you need more Red Pill.

    @alltheprettyhorses – You have a serious case of Oneitis – it’s not complicated. Being so sick, I get it, you just want someone to take care of you. But my experience is that this is where women are at their worst with men, not their best. When I became ill, the women in my life turned on me eventually. It was the men who carried me. So, there is my first advice for you, find some men to rely on. Reach out to your male friends, your father, brothers – whatever, most men will rally to support another man in a tough spot like yours.

    Of course, the only cure for Oneitis is spinning plates. I don’t know your situation, do you have old girlfriends or regular contact with women? Are you too sick for any of that? If so, I would seriously consider hiring a pro – in your case maybe just a “massage girl” for some therapeutic “release”. While in general I think it’s a bad habit to see pros regularly, it also can be quite nice. I had an arrangement with a young Russian girl in NYC for massage that went on and off for 3 years. When I wasn’t banging another chick, I’d go see her for an hour of oiled body to body massage that was awesome. While it’s not like being with a girlfriend, it will provide you some lessening of your craving. I’ve found that sexual contact of any sort with another woman is the best cure for Oneitis.

    And whatever you do, don’t apologize here for “hijacking” this thread – I never do! I for one am really glad to hear from you. It sounds like you are in a tough spot, and I’m happy to hear more about your situation. I’m sure you’ll get some other good feedback too.

  48. @horses

    Its a cold, hard, and lonely seat at the head of the table.

    It was and has always been, in your own power to live life on your terms and not cowering under the shadow of anyone else much less a predatory member of the slattern sorority. This isn’t your failure likely, but it IS a failure of discernment all the same.

    If you truly are this physically shot to shit, then your feelings should be of withdrawal, like a sick dog under the porch. If it’s just fear of the psychological (ie: lonliness), then that CAN be fixed by the mind. Your mind.

    I guess you need to decide which we are talking about and ya, we (or at least I) will coach you out of it.

  49. insanitybytes22
    June 26th, 2015 at 9:52 am

    Red pill nonsense teaches men to avoid what they really need the most

    Well no. It teaches men how to get it. The real deal. Not just “I’ll put up with you for regular delivery of the groceries and a roof”.

  50. @Forge – More on the empathy and women’s opportunistic love. For me, it seems the my entire conception of romantic love was the problem. Me sacrificing and earning it and being worthy and supplicating myself before women and the like. I’m not sure what “idealized” love is – unconditional love? It doesn’t exist – I guarantee that. All love it conditional, and really the entire idea is sick. I may “love” someone in that I care for them, but for me to actively have someone in my life that I love, that has to be a two way street.

    Could you clarify more about what this idealize love actually is? I think the whole thing is a con, actually, and that it’s really just advantageous to women to have us see love that way.

    Whenever I think of this aspect, I’m always reminded of how shocked I was when I read Lucretius epic poem (perhaps the most amazing ancient epic poem in all human history) On The Nature of Things. Aside from describing randomness accurately and positing atomic theory and other aspects of Epicurean thought, he described what a man should do when he finds himself longing for a woman. Lucretius treats it like a form of insanity that a man must rid himself of at any cost by immediately have sex with another, even a man if that is all that is available, and to continue until the longing ceases.

    It seems this longing for women by men is not a modern cultural convention. Could it be that women have conned us into believing that this visceral desire for the comfort and love of a woman is “love” when it’s really just like a junkie craving a fix?

  51. Loved the creativity in this post. It’s also entertaining how it went completely over some people’s heads. Is it just me or did anyone else hear a 747 fly by?

    @ scribblerg

    “Could it be that women have conned us into believing that this visceral desire for the comfort and love of a woman is “love” when it’s really just like a junkie craving a fix?”

    Yes.

  52. @Scribblerg: with you most of the way but a little pushback: Courtney Love did not murder Kurt Cobain by shooting him in the belly or mixing cocaine with his heroin or heroin with his cocaine or insecticide with his quinoa. That’s a whole fanboy thing: “someone as great as Kurt being the great songwriter and generational spokesman he was who was loved by millions, he couldn’t possibly have topped himself”. But sadly, he was that depressed and he did. You look at his mega-fucked background growing up and you wonder he didn’t do it sooner.

    Which does not let the Mz. Kurt off the hook. Not hardly. Despite the HBO doc being made with her and daughter Frances’s veto power, there is a major tell that glares through about Kurt’s first attempt at self-poisoning. As Courtney tells the tale, she was “thinking” about boffing some guy who came on to her and she dug that but didn’tnonoshereallydidn’tboffhimnosirree. Yet somehow Kurt telepathically picked up on her “mental” infidelity and decided to swallow fire.

    Yeah, right, “mental”, my cunt hair. She brags that her sexual worldview was never monogamous, she was always looking for action even after she landed her dreamdude. Her megadenial means, of course, that she boffed the other dickslinger, probably more than once, and others too. That was what got ol’ Kurdt on the downward spiral proper. Now if that’s what you mean by “she ‘murdered’ him”, then actually I’m with you all the way.

  53. “Could it be that women have conned us into believing that this visceral desire for the comfort and love of a woman is “love” when it’s really just like a junkie craving a fix?”

    No, but it could be that you have conned yourselves into believing that you can try to pour women into the abyss of your souls and feel “full,” not unlike a junkie. The is the inherent deception.

    “I guess that women just can not love. It is painful but I’m learning to accept it. I feel like shit never mind you. I have no idea why I even posted here. I guess loneliness again. My apologies for hijacking this. I am lonely and I feel discarded and unwanted.”

    Come on you guys, give this guy something to hold onto. Tell him he is greatly loved, tell him that those feelings of being discarded and unwanted shall pass. Tell him that the pain of loneliness can also be perceived as the pleasure of solitude. Drop the red pill crap for a moment and tell him that it’s okay to want and believe in love. Then show him some, will you?

  54. when @insanity blogs the truth it is quite powerful:

    “In between, I careened from one website entanglement to the next — dozens of them — without so much as a day off between postings. You might have called me a serial debater except that I was never exactly debating. Postings overlapped, and those overlaps were always marked by exhausting theatricality: sobbing arguments, shaming confrontations, broken logic. Still, I kept doing it. I couldn’t not do it.”

  55. @Scribblerg

    I suppose when I say ‘idealized love’ I mean something other than expecting love to be unconditional or anything like that. It’s more like, men tend to start by having an abstract concept of what ideal love would look like. And then, depending on how optimistic or pessimistic they are, they have a greater or lesser expectation of being able to manifest that sort of love in reality – although even the most optimistic of men would realize, upon reflection, that actually unconditional love or perfected love isn’t really possible.

    Women, even alpha widows, don’t really seem to process this the same way. It’s sort of this drive or impulse to drag things closer towards an idealized reality. Women seem to feel love more like a desire to be stimulated, not an impulse to change things.

    I think one-itis (or limerence in more technical usage) is probably the strongest, and one of the most common, forms of this sort of idealization. And it gets all caught up in the sex drive, affection circuitry, and so on, so it just becomes a huge mess. I don’t think it’s anything new, definitely is a man thing, and is almost always destructive for the man involved. So why does it exist?

    It’s definitely beneficial for women, so you can see how it might be encouraged by social conventions and women in society. But they aren’t the source of it.

    I’m almost tempted to say that it has to do with core shame/maternal abandonment issues, but that seems unsatisfactory to me. Its manifestation is two gendered, too uniform. This is likely just another exacerbating factor.

    Could it simply be biological? I’m leaning to a theory that one-itis (as well as other less mortal beta sins) are an organic product of a man’s self-perceived status.

    Testosterone + low status = one-itis
    Testosterone + high status = alpha behaviours

    Basically, you have status/social anxiety when you feel low-status, and yet you’re very drawn to women due to your mental wiring/hormonal makeup. A desperate supplication results, and is rationalized as being a ‘pure’ love which will surely be reciprocated by a woman who ‘just loves you for you’ – because she’s not gonna love you for anything else lol. It’s a kind of magical thinking, really. But I think the desire to supplicate and serve comes first, and the rationalization comes later.

    There could even be a specialized mechanism involved I suppose. Limerence makes men great providers, cannon fodder, and cuckolds. They’ll still just see the idealized vision of their one-itis and keep chugging along.

    Lucretius probably abominated the obsession over a women in particular because it’s the soft spot on the belly of many a free man. And so, like today’s PUA’s he advised – FTOW. Fuck ten other women.

    So I think from a species-wide perspective, one-itis isn’t particularly dysfunctional. But from an individual perspective it is – it’s slavery, plain and simple. Slavery to an emotional high, the ‘fix’ of validation, to the requirements others have that your own emotions make ironclad.

    A beta makes his own chains, and clings to them desperately. He’s been told they’re the only things keeping him safe. And since he’s so anxious about the world, and so trusting of others, he believes without question.

    @All: pay attention. Like M Simon says, this is the hardest thing to do. But if you do, you begin to see the true lay of the land. It’s no more perilous over there, over yonder, than where you stand chained to the dirt. And when you’re in chains,
    and peril comes,
    you can’t fight back.

    You can’t even run.

  56. “Could it be that women have conned us into believing that this visceral desire for the comfort and love of a woman is “love” when it’s really just like a junkie craving a fix?”

    The junkie craving for a fix has a lot of truth regarding love. But it’s not necessarily women producing that believe, the junkie does it all be himself.

    And if you ask me, love is nothing but submission. It’s for females.

    “Come on you guys, give this guy something to hold onto. Tell him he is greatly loved, tell him that those feelings of being discarded and unwanted shall pass. Tell him that the pain of loneliness can also be perceived as the pleasure of solitude. Drop the red pill crap for a moment and tell him that it’s okay to want and believe in love. Then show him some, will you?”

    No. You don’t give the junkie another fix to help him. He has to get off the stuff and understand how self-love is the only love a man ever truly needs. His whole condition comes from a lack of it.

  57. Rollo, from the OP – “As Open Hypergamy becomes more widely accepted, and men’s cooperation with it becomes an expectation for men in “a mature adult relationship” the Feminine Imperative will progressively need to redefine the inherent duplicity of women’s sexual strategy and mold it into a personal strength of women. We can see this fluid redefining in this article and I expect in Gilbert’s next book.

    Men will need to be made compliant to women’s overt Hypergamy and the first step is to make them accept it as a triumphant self-discovered strength in women. Men need to be taught to applaud women for the courage to embrace their Hypergamy openly, and any man who doesn’t love women more for it is a chauvinist / misogynist.”

    This is the same argument made by women about everything. The only change is the details. Here you describe open hypergamy from the narrative of heroic personal growth. In the past the dedication to home and family was heroic sacrifice. The single Mom today is enduring tremendous hardship and is a hero for living with greatest consequence of her poor decisions.

    Everything about the FI’s narrative structure oversells the heroism of women and the strengths that attend that heroism. And then there is acclaim for the growth that accompanies this heroism. But it seems to be a growth that never involves maturity, and never accrues wisdom. Only reflective justification seems to come from this growth, and with it escape from accountability, and agency.

    Hell, a silly twat like Insanity can claim to be strong and heroic for engaging “scary” men in their own virtual caves, doing the Lord’s work amongst the heathen. So strong, so heroic and yet only facing fake men, and juvenille boys, and hence the claims of threats and doxxing from her. Same for the put upon wife of the weak man, the imperfect Christian. She is strong because she endures the badly washed dishes, and his clumsy unwanted sexual advances. This woman is revered if she cheats to meet her own needs, so heroic and empowered, and revered if she remains faithful and sacrifices her chances for true happiness, so strong and dedicated. Win-Win!

    This FI theme of strong and heroic has taken over everything. That old Onion article about women being empowered by everything has become the reality of the FI. And the FI’s power continues as it controls the narrative. For example what was the last Disney animated movie with a male as the heroic lead central character? Toy Story? And those characters were bumbling idiots. Everything in the open hypergamy reality is an allusion to feminine strength and heroism and yet it never quite rises to the level of actual substance. The cargo-cult masculinity of the FI has completely destroyed the language used to describe true masculinity. Hero is dead word, a mere linguistic trophy for just showing up. Strength as a concept is completely divorced from the related ideas of perseverance, determination, toughness, and old fashioned brute force. Really feminine strength is just another form of martydom, or what men recognize as “dealing with it” just another part of our performance.

  58. “Let the man be, your kind has already done so much hurt to our fellow brother”

    “My kind” would be wrapping the man in a giant hug, pouring words of encouragement and praise over him, assuring him that he is not alone, that he is seen and known and greatly loved. My kind would be telling him he has worth and value, that we will hold his hand and comfort him as best we can until he gets through this, and that he will get through it because he is even stronger than he can imagine. That is what “my kind” does for men, day in and day out.

    Come on guys, seriously, show the guy some love, he needs it from you.

  59. Feedback on the above would be great btw, I’m just thinking aloud. Don’t have a solid concept of it all just yet.

  60. @alltheprettyhorses

    Forge the Sky and scribblerg already gave some great advice. I will add my bit, since I’ve been where you are to some extent.

    Just to give you some background, around the time I turned 32 (I’m 50 now), I got cancer (fortunately, a highly treatable kind) and was undergoing chemotherapy and all of the other shit that goes with that, while also going through a bitter divorce that took around 18 months to finalize. I was living several hours away from friends and family as well. I also was not well off financially, so I had to work full-time through all of that as well. So you are not alone, and not the only one who has gone through something tough like this.

    This might come across like new age horseshit, so take it for what you think it’s worth: You are stronger than you think you are. You can dig down inside yourself and find that strength. It does not mean you must be an automaton who shows no emotion. But you have to first look inside yourself to find that love and strength and support that you are looking for from this girl. She will not give it to you because you are flooding her with your emotions and neediness, and you are coming off as weak and unattractive. You need to face the fear and the anger and the loneliness, and perhaps the fact that you might die (you will one day, even if you survive this illness, so work on facing it now – this is a great opportunity to do that), and work on making yourself stronger emotionally, mentally (and physically, if possible for you now).

    I would suggest that you not initiate contact with this girl at all. If she contacts you, keep things short and calm. Do not focus on her now. Focus on yourself. It’s OK to feel all of the strong emotions that you are experiencing, but you have to learn to master them, not let them master you.

    One thing that helped me was practicing Zen meditation (sitting and walking). You can Google some basic exercises focused on simply counting your breaths, if you are interested in that. Another thing that helped me was making opportunities to have fun and enjoy myself. I also continued doing martial arts as much as I could. A slow, soft style of Tai Chi or Chi Gong might be a good option now, if you want to do something like that. Another thing that helped was coming to terms with the question, “Why me?” The final answer I came to was, “Why NOT me?” Everyone has something tragic or seemingly catastrophic happen in their life at some point. Some people go blind, some people are crippled, some people get chronic illnesses that are debilitating for the rest of their lives. So why should I (or you) be exempt from that? The answer is, we shouldn’t and we are not. So we have to deal with it to the best of our ability.

    Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you not to give up or wallow in self-pity and pain. It’s OK to do that for five minutes once or twice a month. Then it’s time to get over it and keep going on, and keep making yourself stronger and keep making your life the best that you can make it given the circumstances.

  61. Insanity’s trying to antagonize us. No surprise.

    By my count, 5 guys have piled support on prettyhorses in the last two hours, yet she’s shrieking about how we’re not treating him kindly enough or something.

    Anything to create fear, uncertainty, doubt I guess.

    Or hopefully even anger. Oooh, the tingles!

  62. insane – “Tell him he is greatly loved, tell him that those feelings of being discarded and unwanted shall pass. Tell him that the pain of loneliness can also be perceived as the pleasure of solitude. Drop the red pill crap for a moment and tell him that it’s okay to want and believe in love. Then show him some, will you?”

    He’s a man. He can handle the truth. Pretty lies, and false hope are the realm of women. Real heroism requires actual pain and lethal risk, you wouldn’t understand, you can’t. From pain comes strength, again you can’t understand because you can’t solve your own problems. The difference between men a women is we solve everyone’s problems, while women hand out job orders. I guess that’s a wordy way of saying Fuck Off.

    So please be a dear and Fuck Off.

  63. “And if you ask me, love is nothing but submission. It’s for females”

    Yes, powerful words there, love really is submission, but men are called to the same! Men were called to love, too! In faith men submit to God, the ultimate source of love, and they reflect that back out into the world. In the absence of faith however, I have no idea how you would go about doing that.

  64. Insanity wants a man to unfuck himself by forgiving and accepting himself and nurturing his flaws now eh?

    Is this Jezebel? Some fucked up feminized mega church newsletter?

    BPD right here boys, look really really close and teach your sons.

  65. Rollo,

    the Feminine Imperative

    What these c*nts are too blind to see is that they will come to hate the culture they are creating. You see it some already in the women running to ISIS to escape the culture. Not that it will make them happy. But they imagine – “Manliness, full bore, I’m wet already.”

    At least Clint Eastwood and Harrison Ford are still alive. But the echo of that era is getting fainter.

    1. @M Simon – They are too blind. Imagine the euro-feminist rationalizations when they are forced to wear burquas and join harems. It isn’t a coincidence the most ‘gender equal’ countries have poor fertility and unchecked immigration from Islamic countries. It is cultural nihilism.

  66. lh
    June 26th, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    Of course you give the junkie another fix – until you can heal his pain.

    People in chronic pain chronically take pain relievers.

    Everything they teach you in popular culture about “addiction” is wrong. Every damned thing.

  67. @All The Pretty Little Horses: “I will not keep posting.”

    Wrong answer. You will keep posting. You will keep asking questions. You will keep us informed.

  68. All these posts are hammering the subject home and it’s making me sick.

    Actually I’m serious, as I read Rollo’s books, the manipulated man and many many more I finally saw what you call the Matrix. I thought I could digest the red pill and absorbed all this knowledge but now after 2 years I’m suffering from Red-Pill-sickness.

    Here’s my story and I’ll keep it as short as I can:

    I grew up with two loving parents, but even though my father was very controlling he was also very beta. So I inherited all the wrong traits, complete betahood. I would see women as special snowflakes with only the best of intentions or stupid whores. Classical Madonna/whore complex.
    I am actually a rather attractive guy and always had at least one woman chasing me, but I messed it up every single time, it was maddening.
    I had many opportunities with women and girls were genuinely surprised when they learned that I was single.
    It went on like this, the years went by and even though at age 30 I’m not a virgin anymore, I didn’t have a single GF (actually I had one at the age of 16. I saw her only twice the whole time) and think I lack a lot of experience. This is weighing me down and force-feeding the vicious cycle of anxiousness and awkwardness around women.

    About 2 years ago I found TRP and read everything I could about it and let me tell you at first I was enraged. I hated women for how they would behave, how they tricked men like me. It was then that I noticed the huge tattoo I had on my forehead. It says: “beta. Feel free to exploit.” And now that I have that tattoo I can’t get rid of it!
    Anyhow, at some point I decided to improve myself first and leave women alone. That was what they told you, right? In retrospect that was mainly to protect my ego.

    And that is were I stand now. I am living a very healthy life, no drinking, hit the gym 3 times a week and eat a clean diet because I like it. I’m highly educated working on my PHD but there is that one thing missing and that is success with women. Sometimes it concerns me more, sometimes less but I could never get any during the last ten years.
    Now I’m falling into depression, I’m totally lost, because my world has been destroyed and I wish I hadn’t found the rabbit hole and instead live a complacent beta life. And the most frustrating thing for me is women knew this all from the beginning and play men like a game.
    I’m totally lost, my world has been destroyed, there is no purpose left and honestly, right now I wish I had not found the rabbit hole.

  69. Courage

    Every man commenting here is at least an incipient Alpha. You all know the stats. For every blogger there are ten commenters and a hundred readers. Sometimes even more skewed than that. One hundred commenters and a thousand readers.

    Why don’t most people comment? Fear. “I will be seen to be ignorant.” “I will be seen to be a fool.” “Someone will say bad things about me.”

    So everyone in the discussion has at least risen a little above his fear. Build on that courage.

    My greatest fear was that I lacked courage. I put myself through all kinds of tests to see if I had it. And then one day I “took” the last test. And I decided I had it. That was 30 years ago.

    So if you are wondering if you have it. Just commenting here is proof. Maybe not the final proof you need. But a proof none the less.

  70. Anonymous
    June 26th, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    Once your illusions are destroyed they are not coming back. You still have 20, 30, 40 years to run. Start practicing Game. You will get better at it. And if along the way some woman decides she is not going to let you go. Well let her hold on if you like her. But never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, do the holding on yourself. It will destroy her desire.

  71. @Insanity, men who are in a world of hurt don’t want smoke blown up their ass about how everything is fine. For the record, he is no longer alone because he came here. Men here can have his back, but we do it by saying “Dude, that sucks”, not issue out a bunch of empty platititudes.

    He may get a bit of tough love here, but we will walk away with more realistic expectations. Realistic expectations will bring him more hapiness than simply plugging him back into the blue pill matrix.

  72. @Rollo

    Proof of the FI.

    From sjfrellc:

    “I have no lack of spiritual life, I have a great sense of identity, incredible feelings of self worth. Red pill awareness and game has rekindled my sense of intimacy.”

    Live for yourselves brothers!

    @Seedless

    I said your customer model is bad, PARTNER was more analogous. Okay then how about stupid?

    You wife as ‘customer’ is to narrow and limiting . . ‘customer’ doesn’t work, it requires roles to be flipped depending on circumstance. . . .

    From The Peackeepers ;

    “In July I’ll have been married for 16 years. Mrs. Tomassi and I have always enjoyed a mature, adult, mutual respect and understanding of each other’s identities and how we relate to each other.”

    Don’t be a Dipshit.

  73. @Fred – From what you wrote it seems to me you didn’t watch the video because you didn’t cite any of the damning evidence presented. But I don’t want to spend much time on it – I’m content that the former police chief of the town he was killed in says he would re-open the investigation for sure. But I have no horse in the race and don’t want to debate it, let’s just agree to disagree. Her behavior is BPDish for sure, maybe much worse.

  74. Anonymous June 26th, 2015 at 2:42 pm: “. . . it’s making me sick.”

    You are in the penultimate, and, I’m afraid, the most difficult phase of digesting the red pill. Like many medicines it is a poison. It will kill the beta, but it will make you sick in the process. At times you will feel that the cure is worse than the disease, but you are actually on the verge of winning through.

    Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on.

  75. @Insanity – I engage you against my better judgment. But maybe you can get this. Why aren’t any of the women in @horses life “wrapping the man in a giant hug”? Where are the real women in his life supporting him in this terrible time of need?

    I also find it incredibly arrogant of you to tell us to “show the guy some love” – we are doing exactly that. The comments are all supportive and encouraging of him – yet you just pretend that isn’t so.

    You are a really sick person.

  76. @Forge – Great stuff on love, I was thinking there is some maternal basis. But I’m going to go back and reread the posts Rollo cited and digest first. I’ll comment on your thoughts at that time too.

  77. @Anonymous – I hear you buddy. It’s horrific to have the old set of books ripped away. But it really is pretty basic. It’s the illusions that make us crazy – not the reality of it. The reality is that resourceful and resilient man can build his skills/value/assets and find a place where he can build mastery at something in some social setting. A man can assert himself with women so as to create a proper frame going forward.

    I mean, the choice of going back to supplicant and servitude, well to me, that’s no choice at all. I’d literally rather kill myself than ever throw the fucking bit back in my mouth for some woman. Comprende?

    What you need to do is get laid. My suggestion? Do Real Social Dynamics or Krauser’s PUA course. Or even just read Yareally’s thread http://yareallyarchive.com/2015/3/#comment-heartiste-654207 He’s a world class PUA and put a ton of great commentary there.

    While I didn’t do a PUA course, I applied what I learned in sales to women as well as NLP as well as being a bit of a natural and having some alphaness – here’s what works. You have to approach. Nothing happens until you approach. And you have to be good at approaching. Fyi, once you are you will realize how easy it is and how you’ve always known how to deep down inside. But even if that weren’t so, you have to approach.

    I guarantee you this. If you start doing one of their courses, and begin approaching regularly, using what you learn, your awkwardness will drop away. And social intelligence is universal, so what you learn doing this will help you across the board. Still not sure? Read The Game by Neil Strauss (that’s his name, right??) – he’s who made me a PUA believer.

    Last. You are in the right place, in the company of other men who know how you feel. It’s okay to be all fucked up about this stuff, you’ve been handed a bad plan and are in a fucked up society. Keep sharing, keep listening, and you will get through this. Listen to the other men here – I’m still half a wreck and am a lot older. There are many guys who’s shit is more together and your age here so just listen for them.

    And ignore Insanity – hopefully you got that already. It’s nice that she uses that screen name though, it gives on fair warning…

  78. @scribblerg:

    I didn’t cite the video, I’d seen some of it and read other articles summarizing it. We’ll have to agree to disagree on it; in my view, it’s a damn sad story, but Occam’s Razor solves the problem, as it does other high profile mysteries. But I think we can agree on your key point: BPD is BPD, and it can be fatal. I just cited a different example, behavior that the woman herself descants upon, as noted. That aside, I agree with everything else you said.

  79. In case you didn’t know, “Insanitybytes” is a tenacious troll previously banned from Vox Day’s blog. Gabrielle Guthrie, a grandmother. For shame.

  80. @Anonymous:
    Scribblerg’s advice is the shit, believe it man and check the cited sources. Meanwhile here is a simple Game exercise born out of method acting improv classes and assertiveness training. Not claiming as my invention, of course, others talk about it at greater length. Here it is: set yourself the goal of starting conversations with 10 women every day. Talk about the weather. What favorite flavor coffee you like in the shop you’re in. The best or worst stores in the shopping mall. Anything. The goal is not to get a number or a date or to ask for anything. You know you won’t do that so you can’t be rejected. In fact, you end the conversation as soon as you sense it should. Then walk away and do it some more.

    Do this a lot. You may trip over yourself a few times. Doesn’t matter, you’ll never see her again, move on to another. Keep at it. The more you do it the easier it will get. This is how you conquer approach anxiety, the Beta killer. The better you get at this the more mutual interest you will generate and it will get easier still, to the point where you’re setting a coffee/lunch date without sweating it.

  81. @Stuttue….

    Your comment of 9:37 was dead on. Realizing you have bigger and better things in your life to pursue than endlessly pursuing skirt is a huge leap of thinking. And by concentrating on bettering his own life, a man mus necessarily de-pedistalize a woman, and redirect the energies formerly spent on attention and validation back to himself.

  82. @Badpainter

    Yeah, I noticed the Freudian slip on IB22’s part, “I really, really, wish you advocated being masculine for the benefit of feminine females”

    Cat, bag, out. And while i hate feeding a troll, I really wish she does stay. Rollo’s right in keeping a non moderated discussion going, as the occasional bone-headed comment goes a long way towards illustrating the article.Not only that, it’s hilarious to read someone who refuses to Just Get It.

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