Eat, Prey, Love

idealism

It started with a girl I met at summer camp and ended with the woman for whom I left my first wife. In between, I bounced from one girl to the next — dozens of them — without so much as a day off between romances. You might have called me a serial monogamist, except that I was never exactly monogamous. Relationships overlapped, and those overlaps were always marked by exhausting theatricality: sobbing arguments, shaming confrontations, broken hearts. Still, I kept doing it. I couldn’t not do it.

I can’t say that I was always looking for a hotter girl. I’d trade good women for bad ones; their character didn’t much matter to me. I wasn’t exactly seeking love, regardless of what I might have told them. I can’t even say it was the sex either. Sex was just the gateway drug for me, a portal to the much higher high I was really after, which was the chase, the seduction.

Seduction is the art of coercing somebody to desire you; playing on someone else’s longings to suit your own agenda. Seduction was never a casual sport for me; it was more like a heist, adrenalizing and urgent. I would plan the seduction for months sometimes, picking the target, looking for openings. Then I would break into her deepest vault, steal all her emotional currency and use it myself.

If the girl was already in a committed relationship, I knew that I didn’t need to be hotter or “better” than her botfriend; I just needed to be different. (The novel doesn’t always win out over the familiar, mind you, but it often does.) The trick was to study the boyfriend and to become his opposite, thereby positioning myself to this woman as a sparkling alternative to her regular life.

Soon enough, and sure enough, I began to see that woman’s attitude toward me change from indifference, to trust, to IOIs, to open desire. That’s what I was after: the sensation of steadily dragging her fullest attention toward me and only me. My guilt about the boyfriend was no match for the intoxicating knowledge that — somewhere on the other side of town — somebody couldn’t sleep that night because she was thinking about me. If she needed to sneak out of his house after midnight in order to call, better still. That was power, but it was also affirmation. I was her irresistible temptation. I loved that sensation, I needed it, not sometimes, not even often, but always.

I might win the girl over eventually. But over time (and it wouldn’t take long), her unquenchable infatuation for me would fade, as her attentions and guilt returned to her boyfriend. This always left me feeling abandoned and invisible; desire that could be quenched was not nearly enough for me. As soon as I could, then, I would start seducing another girl, by turning myself into an entirely different guy, in order to attract an entirely different woman. These episodes of shape-shifting cost me though. I would lose weight, sleep, dignity, clarity. As anyone who has ever watched a werewolf movie knows, transmutation is excruciating and terrifying, but once that process has been set into motion — once you have glimpsed that full moon — it cannot be reversed. I could endure these painful episodes only by assuring myself: ‘‘This is the last time. This girl is the ONE.’’

In my mid-20s, I married, but not even matrimony slowed me down. Predictably, I grew restless and felt unappreciated for my Beta supportive sacrifices. Soon enough I seduced a new girl; the marriage collapsed. But it was worse than just that. Before my divorce settlement was even signed, I was already breaking up with the girl I had broken up my marriage for. You know you’ve got intimacy issues when, in the space of a few short months, you find yourself visiting two completely different couples’ counselors, with two completely different women on your arm, in order to talk about two completely different emotional firestorms. Trying to keep all my various story lines straight (Whom am I angry at, again? Who is angry at me now? Whose office is this?) made my hands shake and my mind falter.

At our last counseling session, my soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend and I argued bitterly, and she ran off in a different direction. I came home distressed, only to find a string of distressing phone messages from my divorce lawyer: Nothing but ruin on that front too. Then I did an unusual thing. I did not grab the telephone and call yet another woman. Instead, I asked myself, ‘‘What are you doing with your life?’’

For the first time, I forced myself to admit that I had a problem — indeed, that I was a problem. Tinkering with other people’s most vulnerable emotions didn’t make me a romantic; it just made me a cad. Lying and cheating didn’t make me brazen; it just made me a needy coward. Stealing other men’s girlfriends didn’t make me a an irresistible player; it just made me a menace. I hated that it took me almost 20 years to realize this. There are 16-year-old kids who know better than to behave this way. It felt shameful. But once I got it, I really got it: There is no way to stop a destructive behavior, except to stop.

I spent the next six months celibate and serious, working with a good therapist, trying to learn if I even existed at all when I wasn’t soaking up women’s desire for me. Then one afternoon I ran into a girl I liked. We went for a long walk in the park. Flirted. Laughed. It was sweet. Eventually she said, ‘‘Would you like to come back to my apartment with me?’’

Yes! My God, how I wanted to unwrap this woman like a Christmas present!


Wasn’t this great? Wasn’t this a beautifully written, wise and brave account? Too many men are punished, and quietly punish themselves, for what is indeed our birthright: “human complexity”. Understanding and acceptance of a man’s capacity for cruelty is necessary for personal growth, right?

Have you ever been the cuckold boyfriend on the other side of this equation? Isn’t it nice to get a bit more clarity from a PUAs side? Its a rough road, but I admire this guy’s courage and honesty. He’s earned my forgiveness and I expect he’s also earned yours.

Or…is this guy just an evil fuck seeking absolution from women for his manipulations? Should we forgive a guy who’d run a ‘boyfriend destroyer’ scheme and sow such discord for his own personal distemper on a dozen, two dozen, women? Is this man above forgiveness in spite of his personal insight and professed regret?

Men can be so callous; it’s good to see the PUA/Seduction perspective finally come to real insight, because, Lord knows, no woman would ever be able to relate to such horribly damaging obsessions, right?


Post Edit:

OK, all snark aside, my intent with this was a comparative in a similar vein as my Qualities of the Prince post.

When you use exactly the same words and narrative women use with the genders flipped you begin to see the code in the Matrix. I purposely left the original article link at the end because the interpretation of how horrible and denigrating a man exhibiting such behaviors and rationalizing them needed to be expected and believed by default.

However, the real issue here isn’t so much Gilbert’s overt embracing of Open Hypergamy, it’s the degree to which she expects a fem-centric pop-culture not just to forgive her for it, but to redefine it as a necessary growth step in the maturation of a woman.

As most of you figured out, it’s (an albeit delayed) Epiphany Phase rationalization that all women have to confront eventually. The only difference here is the heroic narrative context. When a man spins plates, even with the most open and honest approach to being non-exclusive, he’s typecast as a monster, a predator, a player and a cad –and those are the nice adjectives.

But have a woman spin plates (as all of them do to varying degrees), and she’s a hero for her journey of self-discovery. Have a look at the comments on Gilbert’s original article. I even incorporated a few into the end of my post.

“This was a beautifully written, wise and brave account.”

“Too many men are punished, and quietly punish themselves, for what is indeed our birthright: human complexity”

As Open Hypergamy becomes more widely accepted, and men’s cooperation with it becomes an expectation for men in “a mature adult relationship” the Feminine Imperative will progressively need to redefine the inherent duplicity of women’s sexual strategy and mold it into a personal strength of women. We can see this fluid redefining in this article and I expect in Gilbert’s next book.

Men will need to be made compliant to women’s overt Hypergamy and the first step is to make them accept it as a triumphant self-discovered strength in women. Men need to be taught to applaud women for the courage to embrace their Hypergamy openly, and any man who doesn’t love women more for it is a chauvinist / misogynist.

442 comments

  1. Haha! Brilliant Rollo! I must admit I ticked a few times in the text: “overlapping relationships? Gosh this PUA has serious issues…”

  2. It’s a good article Tomassi, I’m glad you posted it. So, can you explain to me how red pill blogs and gamers don’t do precisely that same thing, teach men that their value and self worth resides solely in their sexuality, their conquests, and their attempts to control women?

  3. Rollo you evil genius with a keyboard. When written from a man’s perspective he is narcissistic, Machiavellian and psychopathic.

    When the narrative is written by a woman it is a humanistic psychology tale.

    This essay is a well done red pill tale in farcical style. I love farce these days.

  4. @insanitybytes
    The manosphere has evolved past the “notch=selfworth” philosophy for years now. Rollo has written extensively on how women should complement one’s life. Roosh has created neomasculinity. MGTOW recognized that women should be of low importance in a man’s life from its inception!
    Now you come here and spew that tired old churchian shaming language and beg for attention. Nobody takes you seriously here. Move along. Posting here won’t drive traffic to your blog.

  5. I was just going to post that women can’t possibly understand the irony.
    She just proved it.
    Typical man hater with no empathy for men in a FI dominant society.

  6. ***Then one afternoon I ran into a girl I liked. We went for a long walk in the park. Flirted. Laughed. It was sweet. Eventually she said, ‘‘Would you like to come back to my apartment with me?’’***

    Very nice story albeit are examples like that really happen?

    Also, sleeping with women you want and avoiding the ones you don’t want (toxic, unhealthy etc.) aren’t that tough to do unless you don’t have anything interesting going on in your life. And I think this is the crux of it – women can’t become the core of your “passions” (or “hobbies” 😉 ) they always must be just a side-dish.

  7. The self-rationalizations of one person’s Epiphany phase. I can hear the echo of someone saying, “I’m so different from the person I use to be.”

  8. I have a small rotation and it’s solved me a lot of heartache and emotional investment that never seemed to pay off. When one girl doesn’t deliver on whatever it is I require at any given time another one will. There’s no guilt. The girls realize that to stay in that rotation they have to stay relevant: bang me, be there for me, or they will get dropped. Often they leave only to be replaced by others.

    This seems to work better for me than having one nagging, needy, crazy-making girlfriend who will drop me for the fat guy with a car who texts her 20 times a day when she feels i’m not in her frame.

  9. How many times are the commenters going to call her brave? I’m up to a count of eleven. So brave! What else do we have?
    “audacious honesty”

    “personal growth”

    “for the emerging next stage of feminism”

    “I don’t feel sorry for the victims”

    “takes two to tango”

    “I admire your courage”

    “It is refreshing to finally have something honest”

    “Misogyny at its best”

    “Are all readers perfect in their own lives?”

  10. @sjfrellc
    I don’t think insanity even read the original article. As always, she’s three steps behind and clueless.

  11. “I was just going to post that women can’t possibly understand the irony.
    She just proved it. Typical man hater with no empathy for men in a FI dominant society.”

    And you have just proven that the manosphere has not evolved one bit. I think that story is somewhat sad, because that man has no sense of identity, no sense of self worth beyond the women he seduces. I know many men who live their whole lives like that and when they are older they are filled with regret, feeling as if they have missed out on intimacy, and on a spiritual life.

    I know many women like that, too. Feminism actually promotes and encourages separation from men, avoidance of intimacy, marriage. Many in the manosphere do the same thing.

  12. And no one said that the Manosphere has evolved. Even Rollo has hinted so in a previous interview. But Red Pill awareness and Game sure has. And it scares the shit out of some self interested groups. Guess who those groups are.

  13. Tomassi, you left off the best part, the healing, the reconciliation, the change in her behavior, the recognition that this is no way to live.

    “I said: ‘‘You know what, my friend? I don’t think I’m ready for this.’’

    He said: ‘‘No problem. Let’s get Italian ices, instead.’’

    We spent a few more pleasant hours together, then said our goodbyes. I walked away alone but calm. And that’s when I realized that the better part of my life had already begun.”

    When does the better part of a red pill’s life begin? When does he recognize that there is depth to life far more valuable then what he is pursuing.

  14. She’s just so brave. Lol.

    Do you think she’s going to come out with a sex tape next? Like mattress girl?

    I mean how brave that would be. So much courage. We should start a campaign to gather signatures. Eat, Pray, Love 2 – filling the void with cock.

    Just so brave.

  15. “Feminism actually promotes and encourages separation from men, avoidance of intimacy, marriage. Many in the manosphere do the same thing.”

    So what’s your point? Tit for a Tat. Real good goal there.

    I have no lack of spiritual life, I have a great sense of identity, incredible feelings of self worth. Red pill awareness and game has rekindled my sense of intimacy. My definition of intimacy as a male is when my wife thanks me (either overtly or covertly) for fucking her. I love her, I provide for her and our children without regret and rather enjoy monogamy. If not for the manosphere I would be a dead man walking. And I am not a unicorn. I just get it.

  16. “When does the better part of a red pill’s life begin? When does he recognize that there is depth to life far more valuable then what he is pursuing.”

    You are conflating red pill and The Rational Male with PUA’s who haven’t come to a fulfilling depth in their life (some PUA’s truly have). They are not the same. For you to say that lacks depth, for sure. You just made that up.

    And aren’t you paying any attention to Rollo’s comments on a certain other of the three R’s (hell, read some of his book reviews and 10 years worth of writing for chrissake). One that has incredible depth, but not fulfillment?

  17. “Tomassi, you left off the best part, the healing, the reconciliation, the change in her behavior, the recognition that this is no way to live.”

    That’s not a healing or reconciliation, it’s a shape-shifting Epiphany well post-wall.

    A man should get with her and believe that she is whole? She has depth and spirituality? Not hardly. She still is true to her nature. And we all know what that is.

  18. “When the New York Times applauds this kind of behavior, you know powerful the FI is. This reckless promiscuity is now acceptable for women. Rollo’s message is to adapt to the new reality.”

    No, Tomassi’s message seems to be to follow in the footsteps of broken women and emulate their behavior.

    “So what’s your point? Tit for a Tat”

    Exactly. My point is that you are simply competing in a race to the bottom and deluding yourself into thinking you’re scoring points because you’re 20 feet ahead.

  19. “No, Tomassi’s message seems to be to follow in the footsteps of broken women and emulate their behavior.”

    Totally ignorant of satirical farce.

    I daresay, Rollo wrote this essay with too much covert skill (he didn’t write it overtly).

  20. @insanitybytes22
    Typical black and white fundamentalist thinking. Rollo is advocating for self-development. His philosophy is “build it and they will come.” At that point, a man can separate the wheat from and chaff and do as he pleases. What you’re advocating for is a return to ignorance.

  21. She doesn’t care. It’s just another opportunity to spew Churchian shaming language. You are the perfect foil for Rollo by the way.

  22. “Exactly. My point is that you are simply competing in a race to the bottom and deluding yourself into thinking you’re scoring points because you’re 20 feet ahead.”

    How so for me or any other commentator here? Give me an example of a commentator who is racing to the bottom. Rather than making himself being better at being a masculine male?

    “What is unintelligible to me is not necessarily unintelligent” –Nietzsche

    You certainly mistake absence of evidence for evidence of absence. A common fallacy that is prevalent among pseudo intellectuals.

  23. Insanity – “When does the better part of a red pill’s life begin? When does he recognize that there is depth to life far more valuable then what he is pursuing?”

    Stage 1 – immediately after swallowing the red pill, Stage 2 – about 6-12 months after reading & absorbing as much as one can. Stage 3 witnessing red pill truths in everything you see and hear both past and present, Stage 4 internalizing RP which just becomes an extension of who you are – like breathing.

    I don’t think I’m alone here, but post RP, “pursuing” doesn’t default in meaning to just the pursuing of pussy. In fact, I’d say pursuing pussy falls way down the list. Pursuing your own mental point of origin, pursuing a better lifestyle, pursuing strength, pursuing wealth, pursuing better tools for dealing with women (family, work, or everyday life).

    See we realize pussy is not the prize; it’s a pleasant by-product of pursuing ‘valuable things’. If anything, we realize that once RP is internalized, we are the pursued. There in lies the depth.

  24. “@insanity, you never fail to not get it”

    Tomassi, I really, really get it. I just think you’re flat out wrong.

    “Should we forgive a guy who’d run a ‘boyfriend destroyer’ scheme and sow such discord for his own personal distemper on a dozen, two dozen, women? Is this man above forgiveness in spite of his personal insight and professed regret?”

    Yes, yes we should forgive your satired PUA, just as we should forgive the woman who wrote that article. Should we pour praise over Mr. PUA’s change of heart, call him brave, admire him for his courage? Yes, we not only should, we can and do frequently. You never speak of those things however, because what you’re selling is hostility towards women, bitterness, and perpetual feelings of persecution and alienation.

  25. Rollo, correct me if I am wrong, but the reason for the different ending is because men don’t experience an Epiphany Phase? Or at least, don’t experience one like women do?

  26. @stuttie
    That’s it. And there is no magical “one.” Women aren’t necessarily fungible, but they are replaceable.

  27. Rollo, I never really read her site, so that part of it went over my head.

    But the name is great. Kinda wish I had thought of it myself, as I can think of the perfect scripture to use for it too….

  28. “Yes, yes we should forgive your satired PUA, just as we should forgive the woman who wrote that article. Should we pour praise over Mr. PUA’s change of heart, call him brave, admire him for his courage? Yes, we not only should, we can and do frequently. “

    Wrong answer.

  29. @insanitybytes22
    This isn’t church for fuck’s sake. Just because you forgive a person (man or woman), that doesn’t mean they will change their behavior. I can just see women like you counseling a cuckold husband to forgive and reconcile.
    You still don’t get it. The New York Fucking Times is advocating this behavior. When a good 80 percent of media outlets are advocating for women to become whores and men to become cuckolds, you can understand why men feel persecuted. The only news outlet that writes about men’s issues with a degree of empathy is Breitbart. And god bless their plucky libertarian hearts but they are so outgunned.

  30. “Hahaha! Even the reference in the title of the post goes over her head. Oh, man, Insanity you’re too easy a mark.”

    Not at all, Tomassi, I thought it was rather clever and gave me a chuckle.

    But than your satire just made me sad because I have known so many people like that, both men and women, who try to pour sex into the abyss of their souls, and the more they “prey and feast,” the emptier they actually become, until at the end there is nothing left.

    So, your “pray” became “prey,” and it just summed up the brokenness of the world so well, it struck me as unbelievably sad.

  31. “…….because what you’re selling is hostility towards women, bitterness, and perpetual feelings of persecution and alienation.”

    I have never seen that sales pitch. What exactly are you referring to?

  32. “Should we pour praise over Mr. PUA’s change of heart, call him brave, admire him for his courage?”

    There was none. The story ends with yet another quick sex encounter.

    If the narrator is a man he just landed a slut.

    If the narrator is a female she just opened legs for yet another player.

  33. As an aside, I’ve done some research into South East Asian women. A very popular SEA vlogger had this to say about bringing magical Filipinas to US soil.
    Tl;dw: Women are hypergamous and thirsty American men don’t give a damn about your marriage vows.

  34. “But than your satire just made me sad because I have known so many people like that, both men and women, who try to pour sex into the abyss of their souls, and the more they “prey and feast,” the emptier they actually become, until at the end there is nothing left.
    So, your “pray” became “prey,” and it just summed up the brokenness of the world so well, it struck me as unbelievably sad.”

    What don’t you get about the fact that he is advocating the opposite of “the sad life”?

  35. “There was none. The story ends with yet another quick sex encounter. ”

    No it doesn’t, not the original. Tomassi didn’t continue his satire through the last paragraphs. I wonder why?

  36. Instead of wallowing in sadness, men need a strategy for action. That’s the framework that Rollo provides. That’s what you don’t get insanity. This was never about PUA.

  37. You truly are the perfect foil for Rollo. Thank you for your service insanity. Off to lift and get swole. Goodnight all.

  38. @ Rollo RE: Insanitybytes22

    She reminds me of the acolytes of AA in how they rationalize and minimize their own behavior by externalizing it and then calling it “a disease”. This way (of course) they are allowed to be powerless you see, because it’s not a personal failing, it’s an outside force acting on the poor wretch caught in its destructive path.

    Insanity has externalized the “manosphere” as a disease that if she can only educate the men in its path (with your help and tutelage OF COURSE) on a better way! ™ then they can regain their lives and happiness!

    Serious martyrdom that feeds the intense hole in her middle. This is sick shit that BPD chicks LOVE to play and I think Berne did a whole chapter on it (and if not he should have).

    You are a twisted bitch IB22, and I hope to god if you have sons then they mercifully gained an extra chromosome to at least stop your gimpy DNA in its tracks.

  39. Insanity, I just took a moment and read the original. The author there did change her mind, in a funny way:

    “I tried something radically new”

    Wow.

    “then said our goodbyes. I walked away alone but calm. And that’s when I realized that the better part of my life had already begun”

    But did she fuck him the next date or not?

  40. @Tilikum

    Do you suppose that hole in her middle would be filled by high-status dick or do you suppose the the whole blog thing….ooooooooooooh now I can see it. Thanks.

  41. “How so for me or any other commentator here? Give me an example of a commentator who is racing to the bottom. Rather than making himself being better at being a masculine male? ”

    Words like these are the words of wounded little boys, broken birds, not men trying to make themselves better at being a masculine male:

    “You are a twisted bitch IB22, and I hope to god if you have sons then they mercifully gained an extra chromosome to at least stop your gimpy DNA in its tracks.”

    Ohhh, so masculine. Look everybody, I can be an asshole. Now everybody please praise me for discovering my so called masculine self.

  42. sjfrellc – “I have never seen that sales pitch. What exactly are you referring to?”

    I think she is referring to the truth knowledge of which makes it harder to use the tools of martyrdom, shame, moral intimidation, and missionary sex to keep men in line and serving women without too much dissent.

  43. insane – “Now everybody please praise me for discovering my so called masculine self.”

    Umm…your husband would probably like that back along with his balls.

  44. @ Tilikum “Serious martyrdom that feeds the intense hole in her middle. This is sick shit that BPD chicks LOVE to play and I think Berne did a whole chapter on it (and if not he should have).”

    You mean Eric Berne who was described as: “The essence of games described by Berne is that they are not zero-sum games, (i.e. one must win at the other’s expense), where the person who benefits from a transaction wins the game. On the contrary, the “games people play” usually pay all of the players off, even the phenomenally losers, since they are about psychic equilibrium or promoting adopted self-damaging social roles instead of rational benefits. These payoffs are not consciously sought by the players but they are leading to the ultimate unconscious life script of each as set by their parental family interactions and favored emotions.”

    On another note, the “Confessions of a Seduction Addict”
    By ELIZABETH GILBERT is just a narrative told by a BPD chick.
    I doubt a majority of readers understand this or even get what a BPD chick is and does. Any man than runs into a BPD chick in real life should do what Roissy advocates and exit just as his ball sack runs dry which is rarely longer than a year. No offense to my close friends or Rollo’s history.

  45. I kept thinking this sounded like a girl I know. Their was something feminine.

    While anyone can change. It’s not smart to bet on it happening, no matter how much they say they have. The first sin is always a lie, is she telling the truth now? She may even lie to herself

  46. @ Rollo

    A careful reading of the PUA’s “story” comes off as terribly weak, uncertain, and well, feminine. Very much like dealing with self described former “players” who found Jesus and still brag on their N-counts but with just enough regret in their voices to nuance the hypocrisy.

  47. “Words like these are the words of wounded little boys, broken birds, not men trying to make themselves better at being a masculine male”

    That’s what I refer to as “making shit up” Examples or you just made shit up.

    “Ohhh, so masculine. Look everybody, I can be an asshole. Now everybody please praise me for discovering my so called masculine self.”

    Denigrating masculinity. Really where did you pick up that tactic?

    Not on The Rational Male, which advocates for being masculine to benefit the feminine females.

  48. @sjfrellc

    Humans are incentive driven and IB22 is here for something, in this male space for SOME reason.

    Read her spergy blog posts, two and three a day, screaming “look at me!!”

    Like a moth to the flame.

  49. “That’s what I refer to as “making shit up” Examples or you just made shit up.”

    I gave you an example:

    “You are a twisted bitch IB22, and I hope to god if you have sons then they mercifully gained an extra chromosome to at least stop your gimpy DNA in its tracks.”

  50. “Read her spergy blog posts, two and three a day, screaming “look at me!!””

    Can’t do it man. I gave up fiction reading a long time ago. I only read non-fiction.

  51. “I gave you an example:”

    No you didn’t. You skipped three paragraphs to fit your narrative.

    @ Tilikum “She reminds me of the acolytes of AA in how they rationalize and minimize their own behavior by externalizing it and then calling it “a disease”. This way (of course) they are allowed to be powerless you see, because it’s not a personal failing, it’s an outside force acting on the poor wretch caught in its destructive path.
    Insanity has externalized the “manosphere” as a disease that if she can only educate the men in its path (with your help and tutelage OF COURSE) on a better way! ™ then they can regain their lives and happiness!
    Serious martyrdom that feeds the intense hole in her middle. This is sick shit that BPD chicks LOVE to play and I think Berne did a whole chapter on it (and if not he should have).
    You are a twisted bitch IB22, and I hope to god if you have sons then they mercifully gained an extra chromosome to at least stop your gimpy DNA in its tracks.”

    Tilikum’s narrative sounds legit to me.

  52. But then again, you have never volunteered your side of your narrative.

    You just bitch at Rollo and his commentators.

  53. “Not on The Rational Male, which advocates for being masculine to benefit the feminine females.”

    Now that’s downright humorous! I guess you’ve never read all the attacks on the “feminine females?” Many of you hate us the most of all! I was really curious about why anyone would want “to shove f-in trad/con bitches like you into a wood chipper or ” I just f-in hate you so much” or “you f-in rancid vagina” and eternal references to whores, sluts, etc, etc.

    That’s how I found the manosphere in the first place!

    I really, really, wish you advocated being masculine for the benefit of feminine females, but you don’t, or at least those are not the fruits you produce.

  54. insane – “I really, really, wish you advocated being masculine for the benefit of feminine females…”

    And there it is! Anything so long is benefits women first. If you’re really feminine then how come you can’t mind your place and hold your tongue?

  55. Sorry for the pressure of speech, my blog comment wedge pressures were getting high and I just had to comment to release. (MICU joke). Also got my epididymal wedge pressures relieved in a timely fashion last night. For now, I have a respite in Beta Tells from my wife this last half year. I’m simply following the script and it is working. Perpetual thanks go out to Rollo.

    Had a glorious day at the farm yesterday. Cut down some dead trees with surgical precision for firewood. Then had an extensive campfire session with rural folk in the best weather the Midwest can muster in June beauty. The long days, light until 10 PM are a sublime experience.
    Delivered free firewood to three neighbors for their fire pits back home.

    The way of men used to be defending their perimeter. Today’s way of men is the way of the campfire with like-minded men and red pill aware women. Women who actually GAF about male friends.

  56. I always enjoyed the bonding.

    A good friend once berated me for all my short term (never longer than 6 months) relationships. He said, “You have intimacy issues.” Little did he know (he would meet her) that the girl who wasn’t going to let me go no matter what was just around the corner.

    So why was I going through the ladies? Well – I could. This was a revelation because up til college I was as Beta as they come. Girls just weren’t interested. Second, I like the feeling of being bonded. Delicious. For as long as it lasted. And third off – I never felt I was in a competition with other men. My strong preference was for unattached women.

    And after I met LTR I was still going through ladies. Why? Well unless she could handle that sort of thing there was no hope of a LTR. Some times ladies would just come on to me. And I would help it along. She could understand the attraction. Her initial attraction to me was like that. Still is. She melts. Gets crazy. She tries to damp it down and Beta me. I always remind her that she can be “nexted”. And she always (so far) has decided that “no matter what” should prevail. I also tell her that if I was the way she wanted me she would lose interest.

    40+ years so far.

  57. “Now that’s downright humorous! I guess you’ve never read all the attacks on the “feminine females?” “

    I know feminine females when I see them. You have not demonstrated the slightest bit of femininity or the least bit of empathy for the male imperative. No empathy for males or masculinity=not feminine. You can call yourself anti-feminist all you like but that doesn’t make you feminine.

    “Because my feminine only works in the presence of actual men.”

    Explain yourself and tell your narrative or you are just making that up out of thin air to be derogatory.

    Just like a dinner party guest that does nothing but bitch about the dinner and the guests who are there to enjoy the presence of the others.

    What positive insight do you present here to the audience?

  58. insane – “Because my feminine only works in the presence of actual men.”

    Real men who only live to serve women? Who ask nothing in return for their labors but more labor? Who never demean you by asking for a blowjob? Who never disagree with you? Who never dare ask “what’s in it for me?”

    Those men? The slaves, and eunuchs?

    Why then do you come here of all places?

  59. NOW I understand why Gilbert openly chooses not to discuss the reasons behind her marital problems in Eat, Pray, Love!! It was a suspicious omission:

    “The many reasons I didn’t want to be this man’s wife anymore are too personal and too sad to share here.” (pp. 57-58 in the e-book edition)

  60. when everything else fails (such as lying, misdirection, denial), they always go back to shaming

  61. insanitybytes22
    June 25th, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    You may consider yourself fem. And this is possible. What appears impossible is for you to be Biblical. To surrender to your chosen man.

    Hypocrite.

  62. “You may consider yourself fem. And this is possible. What appears impossible is for you to be Biblical. To surrender to your chosen man.”

    Not at all, surrender is the best part of all. He’s an awesome man and I’m very blessed.

  63. @Rollo

    As I was reading this I kept having the nagging thought that this must have been written by a woman. Few men have the capability to so thoroughly excoriate their past selves, without having a much more profound sense of guilt or having a different perspective on life.

    The whole thing just sounded like a person who still had largely the same perspective, but was rationalizing different actions based upon new and different incentives.

    So I kept on thinking, ‘huh, it sounds like this guy is trying really hard to play some feminine identification game. He’s a fucking master, must be a narcissist to be that malleable.’

    Then I hit the link on the bottom.

  64. insanitybytes22
    June 25th, 2015 at 11:34 pm

    If your surrender was complete you would not be wasting your time here. What is in it for you? Still keeping your eye out hoping for a better deal?

    Shouldn’t you be taking care of your family? Or making one?

  65. Poor Elizabeth Gilbert She was “exploited” by so many men, lol. I was giving insanity 5h1t today for saying on her blog that women who have illicit sex are being exploited.

  66. Hey Insanity Bytes,

    Who’s on first? What’s on second?

    Rollo, I think with this little gizmo involving links, internet articles, comment threads, the ‘replace’ feature on your computer, and most importantly “Insanitybytes”…you have just created the first perpetual motion machine. This could go on forever.

  67. Tilikum
    June 25th, 2015 at 10:01 pm

    Re: AA. Well it is and is not a disease.

    People in chronic pain chronically take pain relievers.

    If you don’t fix the underlying pain you can’t fix anything. The focus on the pain relievers is pure idiocy. Misdirection. But it suits the forces of politics. Because they have no clue on how to fight pain. But they can make war on “them” and they can interdict the physical. They cannot interdict the pain.

  68. “I really, really, wish you advocated being masculine for the benefit of feminine females”

    I am masculine for the benefit of my wife. She’s feminine.

    Stop saying “you” in response to my comments. I am not the manosphere. I am myself and who I represent with my own congruency. You are conflating all kinds of the dirty comet that is the manosphere (a concept of dirty comet described by Ian Ironwood in his book on the sphere).

    You are conflating misogyny with Rollo and The Rational Male. Rollo has never had a misogynistic bone in his masculine toned body ever. At least I have never heard him express it in writing. But then again I am a man with my own pursuits and passions and you are a masculine woman that I have not seen express femininity, nor empathy for men.

    Tell us your narrative. Why do you pursue this nagging, bitching pursuit of yours? What is your end game? How can we help you? What do you lend to us?

    How do your comments on this latest essay by Rollo stand you in good stead here?

    How are you not just a bad distracted bitch at a dinner party or my latest greatest joy, the campfire round-table. Sit around a campfire and not understanding what every one is saying and then complain about what they are saying.

  69. “Your feminine should work regardless. You’re broken.”

    Nope. Men and women exist in complete symbiosis. The feminine does not work without the safety and protection of the masculine.

    What so many of you do is endlessly bemoan the lack of femininity in the world, while falsely believing that to be masculine is somehow defined as being a complete jerk. It does women absolutely no good to be feminine in the face of endless assholery, so they just give up. Men are supposed to lead, not represent the lowest common denominator.

  70. Not at all, Tomassi, I thought it was rather clever and gave me a chuckle.

    You’re so full of shit. Your first 6 comments prove you never bothered to read anything beyond what your ego-investments were an afterthought for.

    Face it Insanity, you have no intellectual curiosity beyond what you want to believe. The entire existence you’ve based your life on is rooted in burying your head in the sand and this simple throw away post here puts that fact on a giant jumbotron for everyone to see.

    Your ego-investments are a joke and any casual reader here knows it.

  71. RedX
    June 25th, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    The self-rationalizations of one person’s Epiphany phase. I can hear the echo of someone saying, “I’m so different from the person I use to be.”

    I’m the same as I was at 18. With a few improvements. So far no Epiphany phase.

    “If I don’t Beta up my act she won’t stick around” ? Non-sense.

    I always told the LTR – “no secrets”. If another woman is chasing me and I’m interested, you will be informed ASAP. You can then rise to the occasion if you choose. Since “beating the competition” for my interest was always one of her interests she rises. Every time. So far. And then I hit her with the usual, “Besides. It makes you hot for me.” And then I give it to her with both barrels, “AWALT. Especially those that want a man other women covet.” She melts.

  72. I was approaching cuckolded status once with a girl I didn’t really care about but was in major lust with and was absolutely nailing. Nice enough girl, simply amazing athletic body, not interesting or exciting or intellectually complex, but just a basic girl, lot of nice qualities to her like making me cookies and being submissive/kind, which was nice. I was still on the prowl, always looking for strange (my insecurity problem, right?) and had a mildly cringy “sorry” response to her temper tantrums – she was mental and a daddy’s little girl and I was 20 and had no idea how to handle that. She gave me the news that she didn’t want to be exclusive, hadn’t banged somebody else but she wanted to go out with him too. I told her not to worry about it, the other guy could have her for all I cared, and I left abruptly and without a scene (sort of my MO). I was a little insecure about it because he was a good looking guy, tall (6’5″) and seemed to have his shit together, and it occurred to me she might have been trying to get us to fight over her, which I was reluctant to do since we were similarly fit, plus he was a cop… yeah, woulda ended bad for me. I felt like I’d been outshot in the playoffs. It bothered me a little until a couple days later when I ran into the guy in the gym sauna. Dude had a peanut dick. Holy shit. Boy was she in for a surprise. I told him that he could have her, wasn’t working out, and I wasn’t even upset, he thought I was super magnanimous and she was obviously still longing and giving me IOIs, but I was very done with her craziness and sort of glad she gave me the easy out. So I laughed about that pretty hard, it was like getting out of a burning plane at just the right time. They lasted all of about a week until Mr. Peanut showed his wares, I think. Didn’t matter to me, I had a leg over with another girl within a week anyhow. Reading about Don Juan here though, makes me wonder if I could have actually had a pretty good relationship with that girl if I’d understood how insecure and shaky she was, and that I needed to just relax, be assertive, and not inadvertently probe her insecurities so hard.

    Looking back she was probably actually fairly decent relationship material but I misplayed it pretty badly by being insecure myself and always being on the prowl. Her personality type – simple, straightforward, nice, just a trifle clingy – strikes me as a lot more attractive now than it did when I was young. Man, that’d be nice and easy to deal with now.

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