Eat, Prey, Love

idealism

It started with a girl I met at summer camp and ended with the woman for whom I left my first wife. In between, I bounced from one girl to the next — dozens of them — without so much as a day off between romances. You might have called me a serial monogamist, except that I was never exactly monogamous. Relationships overlapped, and those overlaps were always marked by exhausting theatricality: sobbing arguments, shaming confrontations, broken hearts. Still, I kept doing it. I couldn’t not do it.

I can’t say that I was always looking for a hotter girl. I’d trade good women for bad ones; their character didn’t much matter to me. I wasn’t exactly seeking love, regardless of what I might have told them. I can’t even say it was the sex either. Sex was just the gateway drug for me, a portal to the much higher high I was really after, which was the chase, the seduction.

Seduction is the art of coercing somebody to desire you; playing on someone else’s longings to suit your own agenda. Seduction was never a casual sport for me; it was more like a heist, adrenalizing and urgent. I would plan the seduction for months sometimes, picking the target, looking for openings. Then I would break into her deepest vault, steal all her emotional currency and use it myself.

If the girl was already in a committed relationship, I knew that I didn’t need to be hotter or “better” than her botfriend; I just needed to be different. (The novel doesn’t always win out over the familiar, mind you, but it often does.) The trick was to study the boyfriend and to become his opposite, thereby positioning myself to this woman as a sparkling alternative to her regular life.

Soon enough, and sure enough, I began to see that woman’s attitude toward me change from indifference, to trust, to IOIs, to open desire. That’s what I was after: the sensation of steadily dragging her fullest attention toward me and only me. My guilt about the boyfriend was no match for the intoxicating knowledge that — somewhere on the other side of town — somebody couldn’t sleep that night because she was thinking about me. If she needed to sneak out of his house after midnight in order to call, better still. That was power, but it was also affirmation. I was her irresistible temptation. I loved that sensation, I needed it, not sometimes, not even often, but always.

I might win the girl over eventually. But over time (and it wouldn’t take long), her unquenchable infatuation for me would fade, as her attentions and guilt returned to her boyfriend. This always left me feeling abandoned and invisible; desire that could be quenched was not nearly enough for me. As soon as I could, then, I would start seducing another girl, by turning myself into an entirely different guy, in order to attract an entirely different woman. These episodes of shape-shifting cost me though. I would lose weight, sleep, dignity, clarity. As anyone who has ever watched a werewolf movie knows, transmutation is excruciating and terrifying, but once that process has been set into motion — once you have glimpsed that full moon — it cannot be reversed. I could endure these painful episodes only by assuring myself: ‘‘This is the last time. This girl is the ONE.’’

In my mid-20s, I married, but not even matrimony slowed me down. Predictably, I grew restless and felt unappreciated for my Beta supportive sacrifices. Soon enough I seduced a new girl; the marriage collapsed. But it was worse than just that. Before my divorce settlement was even signed, I was already breaking up with the girl I had broken up my marriage for. You know you’ve got intimacy issues when, in the space of a few short months, you find yourself visiting two completely different couples’ counselors, with two completely different women on your arm, in order to talk about two completely different emotional firestorms. Trying to keep all my various story lines straight (Whom am I angry at, again? Who is angry at me now? Whose office is this?) made my hands shake and my mind falter.

At our last counseling session, my soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend and I argued bitterly, and she ran off in a different direction. I came home distressed, only to find a string of distressing phone messages from my divorce lawyer: Nothing but ruin on that front too. Then I did an unusual thing. I did not grab the telephone and call yet another woman. Instead, I asked myself, ‘‘What are you doing with your life?’’

For the first time, I forced myself to admit that I had a problem — indeed, that I was a problem. Tinkering with other people’s most vulnerable emotions didn’t make me a romantic; it just made me a cad. Lying and cheating didn’t make me brazen; it just made me a needy coward. Stealing other men’s girlfriends didn’t make me a an irresistible player; it just made me a menace. I hated that it took me almost 20 years to realize this. There are 16-year-old kids who know better than to behave this way. It felt shameful. But once I got it, I really got it: There is no way to stop a destructive behavior, except to stop.

I spent the next six months celibate and serious, working with a good therapist, trying to learn if I even existed at all when I wasn’t soaking up women’s desire for me. Then one afternoon I ran into a girl I liked. We went for a long walk in the park. Flirted. Laughed. It was sweet. Eventually she said, ‘‘Would you like to come back to my apartment with me?’’

Yes! My God, how I wanted to unwrap this woman like a Christmas present!


Wasn’t this great? Wasn’t this a beautifully written, wise and brave account? Too many men are punished, and quietly punish themselves, for what is indeed our birthright: “human complexity”. Understanding and acceptance of a man’s capacity for cruelty is necessary for personal growth, right?

Have you ever been the cuckold boyfriend on the other side of this equation? Isn’t it nice to get a bit more clarity from a PUAs side? Its a rough road, but I admire this guy’s courage and honesty. He’s earned my forgiveness and I expect he’s also earned yours.

Or…is this guy just an evil fuck seeking absolution from women for his manipulations? Should we forgive a guy who’d run a ‘boyfriend destroyer’ scheme and sow such discord for his own personal distemper on a dozen, two dozen, women? Is this man above forgiveness in spite of his personal insight and professed regret?

Men can be so callous; it’s good to see the PUA/Seduction perspective finally come to real insight, because, Lord knows, no woman would ever be able to relate to such horribly damaging obsessions, right?


Post Edit:

OK, all snark aside, my intent with this was a comparative in a similar vein as my Qualities of the Prince post.

When you use exactly the same words and narrative women use with the genders flipped you begin to see the code in the Matrix. I purposely left the original article link at the end because the interpretation of how horrible and denigrating a man exhibiting such behaviors and rationalizing them needed to be expected and believed by default.

However, the real issue here isn’t so much Gilbert’s overt embracing of Open Hypergamy, it’s the degree to which she expects a fem-centric pop-culture not just to forgive her for it, but to redefine it as a necessary growth step in the maturation of a woman.

As most of you figured out, it’s (an albeit delayed) Epiphany Phase rationalization that all women have to confront eventually. The only difference here is the heroic narrative context. When a man spins plates, even with the most open and honest approach to being non-exclusive, he’s typecast as a monster, a predator, a player and a cad –and those are the nice adjectives.

But have a woman spin plates (as all of them do to varying degrees), and she’s a hero for her journey of self-discovery. Have a look at the comments on Gilbert’s original article. I even incorporated a few into the end of my post.

“This was a beautifully written, wise and brave account.”

“Too many men are punished, and quietly punish themselves, for what is indeed our birthright: human complexity”

As Open Hypergamy becomes more widely accepted, and men’s cooperation with it becomes an expectation for men in “a mature adult relationship” the Feminine Imperative will progressively need to redefine the inherent duplicity of women’s sexual strategy and mold it into a personal strength of women. We can see this fluid redefining in this article and I expect in Gilbert’s next book.

Men will need to be made compliant to women’s overt Hypergamy and the first step is to make them accept it as a triumphant self-discovered strength in women. Men need to be taught to applaud women for the courage to embrace their Hypergamy openly, and any man who doesn’t love women more for it is a chauvinist / misogynist.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Wow
Guest
Wow

This was the life of my brother for the past 30 years.

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[…] By Rollo Tomassi […]

Teebs123
Guest
Teebs123

Wow @7:13, that’s pretty sad. How’d your brother snap out of living that life?

Alex
Guest
Alex

Haha! Brilliant Rollo! I must admit I ticked a few times in the text: “overlapping relationships? Gosh this PUA has serious issues…”

YOHAMI
Guest

All of that self reflection just so end up fucking yet another girl on the first date.

YOHAMI
Guest

Tagging

insanitybytes22
Guest

It’s a good article Tomassi, I’m glad you posted it. So, can you explain to me how red pill blogs and gamers don’t do precisely that same thing, teach men that their value and self worth resides solely in their sexuality, their conquests, and their attempts to control women?

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

Rollo you evil genius with a keyboard. When written from a man’s perspective he is narcissistic, Machiavellian and psychopathic.

When the narrative is written by a woman it is a humanistic psychology tale.

This essay is a well done red pill tale in farcical style. I love farce these days.

Tom
Guest
Tom

@insanitybytes
The manosphere has evolved past the “notch=selfworth” philosophy for years now. Rollo has written extensively on how women should complement one’s life. Roosh has created neomasculinity. MGTOW recognized that women should be of low importance in a man’s life from its inception!
Now you come here and spew that tired old churchian shaming language and beg for attention. Nobody takes you seriously here. Move along. Posting here won’t drive traffic to your blog.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

I was just going to post that women can’t possibly understand the irony.
She just proved it.
Typical man hater with no empathy for men in a FI dominant society.

D. Horrenbrand
Guest

***Then one afternoon I ran into a girl I liked. We went for a long walk in the park. Flirted. Laughed. It was sweet. Eventually she said, ‘‘Would you like to come back to my apartment with me?’’*** Very nice story albeit are examples like that really happen? Also, sleeping with women you want and avoiding the ones you don’t want (toxic, unhealthy etc.) aren’t that tough to do unless you don’t have anything interesting going on in your life. And I think this is the crux of it – women can’t become the core of your “passions” (or “hobbies”… Read more »

RedX
Guest
RedX

The self-rationalizations of one person’s Epiphany phase. I can hear the echo of someone saying, “I’m so different from the person I use to be.”

walawala
Guest
walawala

I have a small rotation and it’s solved me a lot of heartache and emotional investment that never seemed to pay off. When one girl doesn’t deliver on whatever it is I require at any given time another one will. There’s no guilt. The girls realize that to stay in that rotation they have to stay relevant: bang me, be there for me, or they will get dropped. Often they leave only to be replaced by others. This seems to work better for me than having one nagging, needy, crazy-making girlfriend who will drop me for the fat guy with… Read more »

StringsofCoins
Guest
StringsofCoins

How many times are the commenters going to call her brave? I’m up to a count of eleven. So brave! What else do we have?
“audacious honesty”

“personal growth”

“for the emerging next stage of feminism”

“I don’t feel sorry for the victims”

“takes two to tango”

“I admire your courage”

“It is refreshing to finally have something honest”

“Misogyny at its best”

“Are all readers perfect in their own lives?”

stuttie
Guest

Brilliant piece of satire.

Tom
Guest
Tom

@sjfrellc
I don’t think insanity even read the original article. As always, she’s three steps behind and clueless.

insanitybytes22
Guest

“I was just going to post that women can’t possibly understand the irony. She just proved it. Typical man hater with no empathy for men in a FI dominant society.” And you have just proven that the manosphere has not evolved one bit. I think that story is somewhat sad, because that man has no sense of identity, no sense of self worth beyond the women he seduces. I know many men who live their whole lives like that and when they are older they are filled with regret, feeling as if they have missed out on intimacy, and on… Read more »

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

I’m not sure, either, that RedX, Walawa, or she read the linked article and Rollo’s tweet yesterday that linked the article.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/28/magazine/confessions-of-a-seduction-addict.html?smid=pl-share&_r=1

stuttie
Guest

Give Insanity goggles and a snorkel; she’s out of her depth.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

And no one said that the Manosphere has evolved. Even Rollo has hinted so in a previous interview. But Red Pill awareness and Game sure has. And it scares the shit out of some self interested groups. Guess who those groups are.

insanitybytes22
Guest

Tomassi, you left off the best part, the healing, the reconciliation, the change in her behavior, the recognition that this is no way to live. “I said: ‘‘You know what, my friend? I don’t think I’m ready for this.’’ He said: ‘‘No problem. Let’s get Italian ices, instead.’’ We spent a few more pleasant hours together, then said our goodbyes. I walked away alone but calm. And that’s when I realized that the better part of my life had already begun.” When does the better part of a red pill’s life begin? When does he recognize that there is depth… Read more »

StringsofCoins
Guest
StringsofCoins

She’s just so brave. Lol.

Do you think she’s going to come out with a sex tape next? Like mattress girl?

I mean how brave that would be. So much courage. We should start a campaign to gather signatures. Eat, Pray, Love 2 – filling the void with cock.

Just so brave.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“Feminism actually promotes and encourages separation from men, avoidance of intimacy, marriage. Many in the manosphere do the same thing.” So what’s your point? Tit for a Tat. Real good goal there. I have no lack of spiritual life, I have a great sense of identity, incredible feelings of self worth. Red pill awareness and game has rekindled my sense of intimacy. My definition of intimacy as a male is when my wife thanks me (either overtly or covertly) for fucking her. I love her, I provide for her and our children without regret and rather enjoy monogamy. If not… Read more »

Tom
Guest
Tom

@insanitybytes
Jesus fucking christ! Read the original article, then comment.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/28/magazine/confessions-of-a-seduction-addict.html?smid=pl-share&_r=1
Rollo’s post is satirical while subtly educational. When the New York Times applauds this kind of behavior, you know powerful the FI is. This reckless promiscuity is now acceptable for women. Rollo’s message is to adapt to the new reality.

donalgraeme
Guest

Bravo Rollo. Was wondering who would step up to the plate on this.

rugby11ljh
Guest
rugby11ljh

Letting it go…

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“When does the better part of a red pill’s life begin? When does he recognize that there is depth to life far more valuable then what he is pursuing.” You are conflating red pill and The Rational Male with PUA’s who haven’t come to a fulfilling depth in their life (some PUA’s truly have). They are not the same. For you to say that lacks depth, for sure. You just made that up. And aren’t you paying any attention to Rollo’s comments on a certain other of the three R’s (hell, read some of his book reviews and 10 years… Read more »

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“Tomassi, you left off the best part, the healing, the reconciliation, the change in her behavior, the recognition that this is no way to live.”

That’s not a healing or reconciliation, it’s a shape-shifting Epiphany well post-wall.

A man should get with her and believe that she is whole? She has depth and spirituality? Not hardly. She still is true to her nature. And we all know what that is.

insanitybytes22
Guest

“When the New York Times applauds this kind of behavior, you know powerful the FI is. This reckless promiscuity is now acceptable for women. Rollo’s message is to adapt to the new reality.”

No, Tomassi’s message seems to be to follow in the footsteps of broken women and emulate their behavior.

“So what’s your point? Tit for a Tat”

Exactly. My point is that you are simply competing in a race to the bottom and deluding yourself into thinking you’re scoring points because you’re 20 feet ahead.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“No, Tomassi’s message seems to be to follow in the footsteps of broken women and emulate their behavior.”

Totally ignorant of satirical farce.

I daresay, Rollo wrote this essay with too much covert skill (he didn’t write it overtly).

Tom
Guest
Tom

@insanitybytes22
Typical black and white fundamentalist thinking. Rollo is advocating for self-development. His philosophy is “build it and they will come.” At that point, a man can separate the wheat from and chaff and do as he pleases. What you’re advocating for is a return to ignorance.

Tom
Guest
Tom

She doesn’t care. It’s just another opportunity to spew Churchian shaming language. You are the perfect foil for Rollo by the way.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“Exactly. My point is that you are simply competing in a race to the bottom and deluding yourself into thinking you’re scoring points because you’re 20 feet ahead.”

How so for me or any other commentator here? Give me an example of a commentator who is racing to the bottom. Rather than making himself being better at being a masculine male?

“What is unintelligible to me is not necessarily unintelligent” –Nietzsche

You certainly mistake absence of evidence for evidence of absence. A common fallacy that is prevalent among pseudo intellectuals.

stuttie
Guest

Insanity – “When does the better part of a red pill’s life begin? When does he recognize that there is depth to life far more valuable then what he is pursuing?” Stage 1 – immediately after swallowing the red pill, Stage 2 – about 6-12 months after reading & absorbing as much as one can. Stage 3 witnessing red pill truths in everything you see and hear both past and present, Stage 4 internalizing RP which just becomes an extension of who you are – like breathing. I don’t think I’m alone here, but post RP, “pursuing” doesn’t default in… Read more »

insanitybytes22
Guest

“@insanity, you never fail to not get it” Tomassi, I really, really get it. I just think you’re flat out wrong. “Should we forgive a guy who’d run a ‘boyfriend destroyer’ scheme and sow such discord for his own personal distemper on a dozen, two dozen, women? Is this man above forgiveness in spite of his personal insight and professed regret?” Yes, yes we should forgive your satired PUA, just as we should forgive the woman who wrote that article. Should we pour praise over Mr. PUA’s change of heart, call him brave, admire him for his courage? Yes, we… Read more »

donalgraeme
Guest

Rollo, correct me if I am wrong, but the reason for the different ending is because men don’t experience an Epiphany Phase? Or at least, don’t experience one like women do?

Tom
Guest
Tom

@stuttie
That’s it. And there is no magical “one.” Women aren’t necessarily fungible, but they are replaceable.

donalgraeme
Guest

Rollo, I never really read her site, so that part of it went over my head.

But the name is great. Kinda wish I had thought of it myself, as I can think of the perfect scripture to use for it too….

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“Yes, yes we should forgive your satired PUA, just as we should forgive the woman who wrote that article. Should we pour praise over Mr. PUA’s change of heart, call him brave, admire him for his courage? Yes, we not only should, we can and do frequently. “

Wrong answer.

Tom
Guest
Tom

@insanitybytes22 This isn’t church for fuck’s sake. Just because you forgive a person (man or woman), that doesn’t mean they will change their behavior. I can just see women like you counseling a cuckold husband to forgive and reconcile. You still don’t get it. The New York Fucking Times is advocating this behavior. When a good 80 percent of media outlets are advocating for women to become whores and men to become cuckolds, you can understand why men feel persecuted. The only news outlet that writes about men’s issues with a degree of empathy is Breitbart. And god bless their… Read more »

insanitybytes22
Guest

“Hahaha! Even the reference in the title of the post goes over her head. Oh, man, Insanity you’re too easy a mark.” Not at all, Tomassi, I thought it was rather clever and gave me a chuckle. But than your satire just made me sad because I have known so many people like that, both men and women, who try to pour sex into the abyss of their souls, and the more they “prey and feast,” the emptier they actually become, until at the end there is nothing left. So, your “pray” became “prey,” and it just summed up the… Read more »

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“…….because what you’re selling is hostility towards women, bitterness, and perpetual feelings of persecution and alienation.”

I have never seen that sales pitch. What exactly are you referring to?

YOHAMI
Guest

“Should we pour praise over Mr. PUA’s change of heart, call him brave, admire him for his courage?”

There was none. The story ends with yet another quick sex encounter.

If the narrator is a man he just landed a slut.

If the narrator is a female she just opened legs for yet another player.

Tom
Guest
Tom

As an aside, I’ve done some research into South East Asian women. A very popular SEA vlogger had this to say about bringing magical Filipinas to US soil.
Tl;dw: Women are hypergamous and thirsty American men don’t give a damn about your marriage vows.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“But than your satire just made me sad because I have known so many people like that, both men and women, who try to pour sex into the abyss of their souls, and the more they “prey and feast,” the emptier they actually become, until at the end there is nothing left.
So, your “pray” became “prey,” and it just summed up the brokenness of the world so well, it struck me as unbelievably sad.”

What don’t you get about the fact that he is advocating the opposite of “the sad life”?

insanitybytes22
Guest

“There was none. The story ends with yet another quick sex encounter. ”

No it doesn’t, not the original. Tomassi didn’t continue his satire through the last paragraphs. I wonder why?

Tom
Guest
Tom

Instead of wallowing in sadness, men need a strategy for action. That’s the framework that Rollo provides. That’s what you don’t get insanity. This was never about PUA.

Tom
Guest
Tom

You truly are the perfect foil for Rollo. Thank you for your service insanity. Off to lift and get swole. Goodnight all.

Yollo Comanche
Guest
Yollo Comanche

This was funny as hell.

Tilikum
Guest

@ Rollo RE: Insanitybytes22 She reminds me of the acolytes of AA in how they rationalize and minimize their own behavior by externalizing it and then calling it “a disease”. This way (of course) they are allowed to be powerless you see, because it’s not a personal failing, it’s an outside force acting on the poor wretch caught in its destructive path. Insanity has externalized the “manosphere” as a disease that if she can only educate the men in its path (with your help and tutelage OF COURSE) on a better way! ™ then they can regain their lives and… Read more »

YOHAMI
Guest

Insanity, I just took a moment and read the original. The author there did change her mind, in a funny way:

“I tried something radically new”

Wow.

“then said our goodbyes. I walked away alone but calm. And that’s when I realized that the better part of my life had already begun”

But did she fuck him the next date or not?

Yollo Comanche
Guest
Yollo Comanche

@Tilikum

Do you suppose that hole in her middle would be filled by high-status dick or do you suppose the the whole blog thing….ooooooooooooh now I can see it. Thanks.

Yollo Comanche
Guest
Yollo Comanche

@ YOHAMI

Probably not, he was reading.

YOHAMI
Guest

” he was reading.”

So he got bored and never called her again.

insanitybytes22
Guest

“How so for me or any other commentator here? Give me an example of a commentator who is racing to the bottom. Rather than making himself being better at being a masculine male? ” Words like these are the words of wounded little boys, broken birds, not men trying to make themselves better at being a masculine male: “You are a twisted bitch IB22, and I hope to god if you have sons then they mercifully gained an extra chromosome to at least stop your gimpy DNA in its tracks.” Ohhh, so masculine. Look everybody, I can be an asshole.… Read more »

Badpainter
Guest
Badpainter

sjfrellc – “I have never seen that sales pitch. What exactly are you referring to?”

I think she is referring to the truth knowledge of which makes it harder to use the tools of martyrdom, shame, moral intimidation, and missionary sex to keep men in line and serving women without too much dissent.

Badpainter
Guest
Badpainter

insane – “Now everybody please praise me for discovering my so called masculine self.”

Umm…your husband would probably like that back along with his balls.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

@ Tilikum “Serious martyrdom that feeds the intense hole in her middle. This is sick shit that BPD chicks LOVE to play and I think Berne did a whole chapter on it (and if not he should have).” You mean Eric Berne who was described as: “The essence of games described by Berne is that they are not zero-sum games, (i.e. one must win at the other’s expense), where the person who benefits from a transaction wins the game. On the contrary, the “games people play” usually pay all of the players off, even the phenomenally losers, since they are… Read more »

Irenaeus Kodex (@IrenaeusKodex)
Guest

Hilarious and brilliant

Paige (@Trunthepaige)
Guest

I kept thinking this sounded like a girl I know. Their was something feminine.

While anyone can change. It’s not smart to bet on it happening, no matter how much they say they have. The first sin is always a lie, is she telling the truth now? She may even lie to herself

Badpainter
Guest
Badpainter

@ Rollo

A careful reading of the PUA’s “story” comes off as terribly weak, uncertain, and well, feminine. Very much like dealing with self described former “players” who found Jesus and still brag on their N-counts but with just enough regret in their voices to nuance the hypocrisy.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“Words like these are the words of wounded little boys, broken birds, not men trying to make themselves better at being a masculine male”

That’s what I refer to as “making shit up” Examples or you just made shit up.

“Ohhh, so masculine. Look everybody, I can be an asshole. Now everybody please praise me for discovering my so called masculine self.”

Denigrating masculinity. Really where did you pick up that tactic?

Not on The Rational Male, which advocates for being masculine to benefit the feminine females.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

Paige (@Trunthepaige)
June 25th, 2015 at 10:30 pm

Did you guys just see that mirage?

Tilikum
Guest

@sjfrellc

Humans are incentive driven and IB22 is here for something, in this male space for SOME reason.

Read her spergy blog posts, two and three a day, screaming “look at me!!”

Like a moth to the flame.

insanitybytes22
Guest

“That’s what I refer to as “making shit up” Examples or you just made shit up.”

I gave you an example:

“You are a twisted bitch IB22, and I hope to god if you have sons then they mercifully gained an extra chromosome to at least stop your gimpy DNA in its tracks.”

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“Read her spergy blog posts, two and three a day, screaming “look at me!!””

Can’t do it man. I gave up fiction reading a long time ago. I only read non-fiction.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“I gave you an example:” No you didn’t. You skipped three paragraphs to fit your narrative. @ Tilikum “She reminds me of the acolytes of AA in how they rationalize and minimize their own behavior by externalizing it and then calling it “a disease”. This way (of course) they are allowed to be powerless you see, because it’s not a personal failing, it’s an outside force acting on the poor wretch caught in its destructive path. Insanity has externalized the “manosphere” as a disease that if she can only educate the men in its path (with your help and tutelage… Read more »

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

But then again, you have never volunteered your side of your narrative.

You just bitch at Rollo and his commentators.

Badpainter
Guest
Badpainter

sjfrellc – “Did you guys just see that mirage?”

Did you visit her blog also?

insanitybytes22
Guest

“Not on The Rational Male, which advocates for being masculine to benefit the feminine females.” Now that’s downright humorous! I guess you’ve never read all the attacks on the “feminine females?” Many of you hate us the most of all! I was really curious about why anyone would want “to shove f-in trad/con bitches like you into a wood chipper or ” I just f-in hate you so much” or “you f-in rancid vagina” and eternal references to whores, sluts, etc, etc. That’s how I found the manosphere in the first place! I really, really, wish you advocated being masculine… Read more »

Badpainter
Guest
Badpainter

insane – “I really, really, wish you advocated being masculine for the benefit of feminine females…”

And there it is! Anything so long is benefits women first. If you’re really feminine then how come you can’t mind your place and hold your tongue?

YOHAMI
Guest

“I really, really, wish you advocated being masculine for the benefit of feminine females”

No wonder.

insanitybytes22
Guest

“If you’re really feminine then how come you can’t mind your place and hold your tongue?”

Because my feminine only works in the presence of actual men.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

Sorry for the pressure of speech, my blog comment wedge pressures were getting high and I just had to comment to release. (MICU joke). Also got my epididymal wedge pressures relieved in a timely fashion last night. For now, I have a respite in Beta Tells from my wife this last half year. I’m simply following the script and it is working. Perpetual thanks go out to Rollo. Had a glorious day at the farm yesterday. Cut down some dead trees with surgical precision for firewood. Then had an extensive campfire session with rural folk in the best weather the… Read more »

M Simon
Guest

I always enjoyed the bonding. A good friend once berated me for all my short term (never longer than 6 months) relationships. He said, “You have intimacy issues.” Little did he know (he would meet her) that the girl who wasn’t going to let me go no matter what was just around the corner. So why was I going through the ladies? Well – I could. This was a revelation because up til college I was as Beta as they come. Girls just weren’t interested. Second, I like the feeling of being bonded. Delicious. For as long as it lasted.… Read more »

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“Now that’s downright humorous! I guess you’ve never read all the attacks on the “feminine females?” “ I know feminine females when I see them. You have not demonstrated the slightest bit of femininity or the least bit of empathy for the male imperative. No empathy for males or masculinity=not feminine. You can call yourself anti-feminist all you like but that doesn’t make you feminine. “Because my feminine only works in the presence of actual men.” Explain yourself and tell your narrative or you are just making that up out of thin air to be derogatory. Just like a dinner… Read more »

Badpainter
Guest
Badpainter

insane – “Because my feminine only works in the presence of actual men.”

Real men who only live to serve women? Who ask nothing in return for their labors but more labor? Who never demean you by asking for a blowjob? Who never disagree with you? Who never dare ask “what’s in it for me?”

Those men? The slaves, and eunuchs?

Why then do you come here of all places?

M Simon
Guest

insanitybytes22
June 25th, 2015 at 10:54 pm

Wood chipper? Take care you don’t get 7:01ed.

Varenius
Guest
Varenius

NOW I understand why Gilbert openly chooses not to discuss the reasons behind her marital problems in Eat, Pray, Love!! It was a suspicious omission:

“The many reasons I didn’t want to be this man’s wife anymore are too personal and too sad to share here.” (pp. 57-58 in the e-book edition)

redlight
Guest
redlight

when everything else fails (such as lying, misdirection, denial), they always go back to shaming

M Simon
Guest

insanitybytes22
June 25th, 2015 at 10:54 pm

You may consider yourself fem. And this is possible. What appears impossible is for you to be Biblical. To surrender to your chosen man.

Hypocrite.

insanitybytes22
Guest

“You may consider yourself fem. And this is possible. What appears impossible is for you to be Biblical. To surrender to your chosen man.”

Not at all, surrender is the best part of all. He’s an awesome man and I’m very blessed.

Forge the Sky
Guest
Forge the Sky

@Rollo As I was reading this I kept having the nagging thought that this must have been written by a woman. Few men have the capability to so thoroughly excoriate their past selves, without having a much more profound sense of guilt or having a different perspective on life. The whole thing just sounded like a person who still had largely the same perspective, but was rationalizing different actions based upon new and different incentives. So I kept on thinking, ‘huh, it sounds like this guy is trying really hard to play some feminine identification game. He’s a fucking master,… Read more »

M Simon
Guest

insanitybytes22
June 25th, 2015 at 11:34 pm

If your surrender was complete you would not be wasting your time here. What is in it for you? Still keeping your eye out hoping for a better deal?

Shouldn’t you be taking care of your family? Or making one?

theasdgamer
Guest

Poor Elizabeth Gilbert She was “exploited” by so many men, lol. I was giving insanity 5h1t today for saying on her blog that women who have illicit sex are being exploited.

YOHAMI
Guest

“Because my feminine only works in the presence of actual men.”

Your feminine should work regardless. You’re broken.

Signor Farfalla
Guest
Signor Farfalla

Hey Insanity Bytes,

Who’s on first? What’s on second?

Rollo, I think with this little gizmo involving links, internet articles, comment threads, the ‘replace’ feature on your computer, and most importantly “Insanitybytes”…you have just created the first perpetual motion machine. This could go on forever.

M Simon
Guest

Tilikum
June 25th, 2015 at 10:01 pm

Re: AA. Well it is and is not a disease.

People in chronic pain chronically take pain relievers.

If you don’t fix the underlying pain you can’t fix anything. The focus on the pain relievers is pure idiocy. Misdirection. But it suits the forces of politics. Because they have no clue on how to fight pain. But they can make war on “them” and they can interdict the physical. They cannot interdict the pain.

sjfrellc
Guest
sjfrellc

“I really, really, wish you advocated being masculine for the benefit of feminine females” I am masculine for the benefit of my wife. She’s feminine. Stop saying “you” in response to my comments. I am not the manosphere. I am myself and who I represent with my own congruency. You are conflating all kinds of the dirty comet that is the manosphere (a concept of dirty comet described by Ian Ironwood in his book on the sphere). You are conflating misogyny with Rollo and The Rational Male. Rollo has never had a misogynistic bone in his masculine toned body ever.… Read more »

insanitybytes22
Guest

“Your feminine should work regardless. You’re broken.”

Nope. Men and women exist in complete symbiosis. The feminine does not work without the safety and protection of the masculine.

What so many of you do is endlessly bemoan the lack of femininity in the world, while falsely believing that to be masculine is somehow defined as being a complete jerk. It does women absolutely no good to be feminine in the face of endless assholery, so they just give up. Men are supposed to lead, not represent the lowest common denominator.

M Simon
Guest

RedX June 25th, 2015 at 8:14 pm The self-rationalizations of one person’s Epiphany phase. I can hear the echo of someone saying, “I’m so different from the person I use to be.” I’m the same as I was at 18. With a few improvements. So far no Epiphany phase. “If I don’t Beta up my act she won’t stick around” ? Non-sense. I always told the LTR – “no secrets”. If another woman is chasing me and I’m interested, you will be informed ASAP. You can then rise to the occasion if you choose. Since “beating the competition” for my… Read more »

Joe
Guest
Joe

I was approaching cuckolded status once with a girl I didn’t really care about but was in major lust with and was absolutely nailing. Nice enough girl, simply amazing athletic body, not interesting or exciting or intellectually complex, but just a basic girl, lot of nice qualities to her like making me cookies and being submissive/kind, which was nice. I was still on the prowl, always looking for strange (my insecurity problem, right?) and had a mildly cringy “sorry” response to her temper tantrums – she was mental and a daddy’s little girl and I was 20 and had no… Read more »

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