The Utility of Beta Men – Part II

Before I get started today I thought I’d relate a few things to think about from the first installment of this series.

No Neutral Balance

Reader Boxcar had a pertinent comment on last week’s thread:

Frankly, losing the “beta” qualities would make it difficult to live a happy, successful and fulfilling life. But they have become stigmatized because they are associated with men being used by women.

I used to lock horns about the necessity of Beta traits with Athol Kay on Married Man Sex Life back before women took over his messaging. The problem with this idea is that 80%+ of men in a feminine-primary social order, that has systematically engineered a majority of men to be predominantly Betas, possess all these Beta behavioral and psychological attributes in spades.

As such, there will always be a gross overemphasis on the value of those aspects. I don’t believe in a balance of Alpha to Beta traits. It’s my opinion that men should make Alpha traits their predominant, default set, only expressing Beta traits as necessary to maintain a minimum comfort level – and even then, this comfort level should only be apparent to reinforce a necessary anxiety level for a woman’s continued interest in a man.

Also, I believe there needs to be a distinction between Alpha and Beta behavioral sets and Alpha and Beta mindsets. Most men today are raised into a Beta mindset and this manifests in their behaviors. Vice versa for Alpha mindsets. However, that isn’t to say that a man of a predominantly Alpha mindset can’t deliberately display a Beta attribute in order to serve his own ends. Same with Beta men displaying a Alpha attributes. The problem with this lies in what is congruent with the overall perception of that man’s status to a woman.

In the case of the Australian guy whom Goldmund schooled in last week’s post, the woman already had a preconceived understanding that his mindset was that of a Beta. Had he displayed some brief “flash of Alpha” it would’ve seemed inauthentic and incongruous with her preconception. However, going from an Alpha preconception to a brief “flash of Beta” can be endearing and affirming for a woman.

Ergo, there is no neutral balance of Alpha and Beta that a woman will ever find attractive in a man. His mindset and behaviors must be predominantly and consistently Alpha to hold her Hypergamous sexual and relational interests. While occasional, strategic and brief expressions of a Beta-like trait are necessary for comfort, there is no advantage in a man trying to maintain some equilateral balance of Alpha to Beta, and if anything it only serves to confuse a woman about her estimate of your status. Moments of Vulnerability can be reassuring for women, but only when that vulnerability is uncharacteristic for a predominantly Alpha man.

Relational Equity

One very common hindbrain presumption most well-trained Betas have is a that their emotional, financial and loyalty investments in a woman will be appreciated and reciprocated by the women they invest in. This ‘pre’-sumption is integral to a mindset founded on the old books social contract. Beta men’s approach to intimacy going in already expects a woman to appreciate his investing in her as some quality that sets him apart from “typical guys who just want to bang her”.

So, when when a guy like Goldmund effortlessly seduces the woman that Aussie Guy has been investing so much into (like all-expense paid trips) it represent two very frustrating realities for him. The first, as I mentioned, is the destruction of his ego-investment in his old books mindset. The second is the sense of loss of so much relational investment he was trying to figure out how to get a return on. All of the preconditions he believed were necessary to get this woman’s intimacy are tossed out of the window when Goldmund arrives and she willingly and (to him) unconditionally becomes sexual with him.

He believed he had to earn her sex, but in no uncertain terms, along comes a guy who did almost nothing to earn it and she reflexively responds to him with sex. In prior posts I’ve proposed that women will break rules for Alpha men while creating and imposing new/more rules for Beta men to access her sexuality. I would expand this to say that Beta men will, via their preconditioning, impose those rules upon themselves before they even meet a woman with whom to invest themselves in.

The presumption of relational equity comes before a Beta even has a woman to invest in. This is the source of Aussie guy’s frustration. I covered this dynamic in Prewhipped and Betas in Waiting.

Giving Value

Commenter Trent Lane had an excellent insight about what ought or ought not to be a Red Pill aware man’s duty to his fellow, unenlightened Blue Pill man.

Ethic responsibilities in a red pill paradigm for those who are not in it is an interesting concept. If we all accept Red Pill principles like Hypergamy, AF/BB and so on as truth (which most of us do, since we‘re here) and as you advance in Game you see, know and can do more with social and intergender dynamics than 99% of the men around you.

You can use this for destruction and mayhem. You can use this to selfishly get your needs met with zero fucks given about anyone. Or you can use it to get your needs met AND give value to the people you interact with.

The question is, why should you?
The answer is, aside from metaphysical reasons like religion, Karma and so forth, in which you can chose to believe or not: you mainly do it for yourself.

By fucking others up this way you fuck yourself up. Is it possible to go down the route of destruction this way with zero fucks given about anyone and lead a happy, fulfilled life long term? Probably for some. More likely you‘ll end up fucked yourself, without purpose, unable to ever satisfy your raging narcissistic urges, burning out and getting more and more shallow as you chase the next kick.

Giving value makes you happier than taking value. It sounds corny like a cliche, but if long term happiness in life is your concern, it‘s true.

I’m going to jump off here because this comment speaks to what I want to cover next in this series – dealing with Blue Pill men in a Red Pill aware man’s life. Just as I’m inclined to tell guys of the MGTOW persuasion that there really is no exiting the game, so too is it next to impossible for the Red Pill aware man to insulate himself from having to deal with, work with, relate to, men who are thoroughly invested in a Blue Pill defined existence.

In the first part of this series I mentioned how Blue Pill orbiters are often an untapped resource of social proof for a Red Pill aware man. Sometimes all it takes to stand out in the crowd is to simply allow the mediocre to display their status and be ready to capitalize on it. It’s like the part of Game where once you get to attraction all you have to do is not fuck things up. That’s not to say Game doesn’t take effort, it does, but when you have a connection with a woman who herself has orbiters’ attention in spades it easy to see that her attraction cues and ego are built around quality not quantity.

I also mentioned in last week’s essay that actively AMOGing these guys can actually be counterproductive to Game. Women may not ever want to bang their orbiters or really have them mean anything more that easy attention, but on the same note they likely don’t want to have anything too cruel happen to them. Fortunately there are ‘lightest touch’ ways to use these guys’ inability (or willful rejection) to really embrace Red Pill awareness to your advantage if you have the art. There’s a tendency to want to help these orbiters, but I would say the real test is having the confidence to use them as SMV comparisons. Adopting an Amused Mastery with an orbiter is one such method – building social proof by artfully pointing out their Beta Game strategies. The risk you run is women taking this as arrogance on your part, at first, until that Beta confirms your measured analysis of him.

Betas at Work

One of the most arduous aspects of modern work life is having to cooperate with well-conditioned Blue Pill men. God forbid you have a business partner or a boss with whom your financial wellbeing depends. I would argue that the single most dangerous environment in which to attempt to ‘help’ a Blue Pill man with Red Pill awareness is in the workplace. For all the talk of mythical “glass ceilings” and back room boys clubs, modern corporate culture has been at the mercy of the Feminine Imperative’s influence for several decades now. This social environment was a Male Space that was invaded long ago by feminine-primary interests, but for the sake of this discussion I’d have readers consider the following: imagine a Blue Pill conditioned Beta who’s been educated and acculturated in feminine primacy (as equality) for the better part of his lifetime. Now, take that guy and put him into a workplace social structure, steeped in feminine-primary work laws, HR departments and corporate bylaws (all designed to avoid charges of endemic workplace sexism). Finally, base that man’s livelihood, the health of his marriage and the future wellbeing of his children on how well he adheres to that feminine-primary office culture and you get a guy who’s a veritable time bomb for any Red Pill aware coworker.

This reminds me of a great article in the Telegraph about how men are so afraid of sexual harassment accusations they resist the urge to extend the most basic courtesies to women in the workplace.

Elsesser cites examples of men who have been dragged in by their HR departments for simply opening a door for a female colleague or complimenting her on a new suit. “Stories like these spread around workplaces, instilling a fear that innocent remarks will be misinterpreted,” she says.

The upside to this situation is that a Red Pill savvy man can use the predictable foreknowledge of how a Blue Pill colleague will respond to various workplace circumstances to his advantage. While it may be prudent to accommodate that guy’s Blue Pill mindset at work, it also presents some opportunities to use Red Pill awareness and Game in a context that can advance your career. Female bosses are still female, and as noted earlier, the same dynamics you can use to ping social proof from a Blue Pill orbiter can similarly be used with a Blue Pill coworker and a female supervisor.

If you know a guy is trapped in a Blue Pill marriage, odds are he’s in a dead bedroom situation. If he’s got kids, especially a newborn, it’s fairly easy to predict his life priorities based on what we know of his Blue Pill mindset. Happy wife, happy life is probably his ego-investment. There’s quite a lot you can read from a Blue Pill coworker or supervisor, and as a Red Pill aware man, this puts you at a strategic advantage in the workplace. As such you are not at the disadvantage he is and can opt in on work opportunities his mindset and his life’s resultant conditions wont permit him to.

As a side note here, I should also mention that being Red Pill aware has various advantages in dealing with women in the workplace too. In the same vein as the Blue Pill supervisor, it’s important to get a ‘read’ on a female boss and how she interacts with male and female subordinates. Corporate culture is often the most visceral teacher when it comes to understanding intrasexual competition amongst women. However, as a Red Pill aware man we can also apply our predictive Red Pill Lens towards what most women in the workplace are experiencing in their lives. We know the common dissatisfaction professional women experience when it comes to their personal lives. We also know that even the married ones are likely to be discontent with husbands whom they can never feel comfortable in submitting themselves to – especially after 8-10 hours at an office where lesser men must submit to her and the greater men she is beholden to don’t see her as anything but an instrument for their own success. The trick is using this tactical understanding to your own benefit by getting inside their heads and making female nature work for you.

So, after all this we’re left with a few of considerations. The first is the degree of calculated risk a Red Pill man is comfortable in taking with a Blue Pill colleague. Even if the guy is a personal friend, there is always a risk that using your Red Pill Lens with him can backfire on you. There’s only one thing worse than a woman scorned and that’s a deeply committed Blue Pill guy who’s just had his mindset used against him by a superior player. Most will pass it off as the result of an unfair life, but others, the less stable Blue Pill guys, they can have an explosive potential.

Then there is the ever present ethical considerations that will always dog this question – should you do it? If Goldmund’s story from last week’s essay was an object lesson in mate poaching it was also a subjective lesson in the ethical consideration of it too. Much of what constitutes attractiveness in men to women is found on the Dark Triad personality traits. Sometimes Red Pill awareness and Game application gets called an education in psychopathy. Having written about Red Pill awareness for as long as I have, I know there’s far more to this, but to an initiated reader, one steeped in Blue Pill conditioning, I fully understand why it would look like psychopathy.

Now the question is, does a Red Pill man use his awareness to his advantage outside of the intersexual realm? In the case of using it with a female supervisor that might be an easy, yes, but in the case of using a Blue Pill man’s handicap of his mindset that answer may be subjective by order of degree. Even if there is no malice involved, and even if just by fact of having that awareness, a Red Pill man has a distinct advantage over men given to a Blue Pill belief set and their resultant life conditions.

So the question might be, are we our Beta brother’s keepers? Do we have an obligation to give Blue Pill men value or does that idea end where that man’s capacity to accept what Red Pill awareness offers him end? Obviously I have two books and five and a half years of blog posts all written with the intent of ultimately unplugging Blue Pill men and making them aware of the true nature of intersexual dynamism. My purpose has always been to give men the tools they need to do that, but is it my obligation to do so?

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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kfg
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“Brennus and His Share of the Spoils…”

The life might have been short, and its end violent, but it had its benefits. He was also of a culture from which we derive the concept The Right of Kings. He had dibs on brides. So, the betas got sex and a chance to breed – second.

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@Not Born This Morning “the evidence suggests that most women find sex revolting…” LOL Read the comments written by chick under this insta post https://www.instagram.com/p/BT8hthvlUhp/?taken-by=prideofgypsies The vast majority of evidence comes from betas, thus the conclusion they reach. “It also explains why most ‘alpha’ theories of Game are unsuccessful in practice…” I’m not a pick up master, but even a few months of actually DOING pick up makes it obvious that it works. Add to that reading the rational male, and now you also know why it works. The guy who wrote this piece is confused as to why beta… Read more »

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Play and win at the dibs game a few times and watch people fall in to your frame.

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On KFG’s Easter Egg… DPA HoF’er Kris… via wikipedia Kristoffer Kristofferson was born in Brownsville, Texas, to Mary Ann (née Ashbrook) and Lars Henry Kristofferson, a U.S. Army Air Corps officer (later a U.S. Air Force Major General).[2] His paternal grandparents emigrated from Sweden, while his mother had English, Scottish-Irish, German, Swiss-German, and Dutch ancestry.[3][4] Kristofferson’s paternal grandfather was an officer in the Swedish Army. When Kristofferson was a child, his father pushed him towards a military career.[5] At the age of 17, Kristofferson took a summer job with a dredging contractor on Wake Island. He called it “the hardest… Read more »

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Now boxing at Oxford is great, just be sure the other guy didn’t kill for the CIA…

Archie: (leaves the gun) I used to box for Oxford.
Otto: Oh, yeah? (grabs the gun) Well, I used to kill for the CIA.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwfuUyTMpVY

Otto is a great charcter… lol

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@ Sentient

Thanks for the info on Kristofferson. Great, great stuff. I got fucking chills reading along because I had no idea about any of that stuff. I only knew by watching and listening to him over the decades that there was a real man there.

It’s extremely important that men have hard, tough and dirty jobs early in life. Nothing teaches the lessons of hard work better than the real thing. Digging ditches makes better rocket scientists IMO, lol.

Hard work changes your demeanor and puts something in your gaze.

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Kristofferson – most interesting man in the world?

Almost peed my pants watching Fish Called Wanda when it opened. Great memories, poor anglefish!

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Kris did not sweat the opener…

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@ rugby

Thanks for posting the vid above. It’s great, and I’m only 1/4 of the way through.

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@Kfg
Are you Irish?

Sentient
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Blax Hard work changes your demeanor and puts something in your gaze. Yes experience is so important. I may have mentioned I had something like 30 jobs… I’ve done a lot from painting, construction, loading and unloading trucks, driving trucks, dishwashing, cooking cleaning… among other things. Get an experience doing work with a group of men in different SES than you… develop the skill of making relationships, of leading guys older, bigger stronger than you. As a consequence there are very few guys I can’t connect with when I want to. From guys out of prison, to dolts, to brainiac… Read more »

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A true Scotsman.

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“Are you Irish?”

No, I’m a fiddler, and therefore a rogue. More often, however, you’ll find me filling the bardic role, telling and singing the stories. I started out in the American traditions, but it turns out that a large number of those are actually Scots and Irish. Go figure.

If I ever do the DNA thing I wouldn’t be surprised if a touch of ol’ Eire had crept into the mix in the past few hundred years, but I would be surprised if I weren’t dominantly Germanic.

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Good read
http://bit.ly/2tipf3G

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@Blaximus “Everyone can’t be at the very top, or it ceases being ” the top “. But you can elevate much higher than those who will not bother to put in much effort, and you will find that the majority is effort averse.” Got it, and I agree as that was my point. One has to understand the underlying structure here, and that was all I was trying to say. If you want to reach that top, or just get close to it, then realize things are graded on a curve, always. Does not meant you should NOT improve, but… Read more »

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Another great photo Rollo.

Please kill me if I’m ever caught in public wearing a shirt and tie with jeans and sneakers.

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Speaking of The Godfather, another DPA pantheon inductee… Robert Evans fka Robert Shapera. Rag trader… wanna be movie star, producer, 36 YO head of production at Paramount (Barefoot in the Park, The Odd Couple, Rosemary’s Baby, The Italian Job, True Grit, Love Story, Harold and Maude, The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, Serpico, Save the Tiger, The Conversation, Chinatown, The Great Gatsby, etc.), mob associate, convicted cocaine trafficer, unindicted conspirator (murder) and seven times married… the first time to a 17 YO starlet, when he was 31. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Evans a well-dressed up-and-comer who made appearances at the right parties, escorting a… Read more »

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYUyWol4YnU

“Any guy who thinks he can read the mind of a woman, is a guy who knows nothing”

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@sentient, and yet, even a man who hits all the right alpha notes is himself dumped for another

a fine lesson to all those wanting binary answers and bullet-proof rules and prescriptions for gaming: there are no guarantees and even if you do everything right it still might now work out

all you can do is increase your chances and that takes field work and practice

Sentient
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Doc Z

all you can do is increase your chances and that takes field work and practice

and that is… learning.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=350Pj8Q5d1Y

Like all the fair maidens who’ve laid down beside him
She knew in her heart that he’d lied
Nothin’ that I could have said could have saved her
No matter, how hard that she tried

‘Cause she’ll offer her charms, to the darkness and danger
Of something that she’s never known
And open her arms at the smile of a stranger
Who’ll love her and leave her alone

And you know he’s the devil
He’s everything that I ain’t
Hidin’ intentions of evil
Under the smile of a saint

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A man should have self control and not be a common braggart because lowly habits build lowly character. It may be fine to rub things in the face of a rival once but to make a habit of it is to defeat yourself. A man should display self control because it’s beneficial to himself. Not for others. The flip side of self control is being able to use it to the opposite effect- making people including yourself uncomfortable, when the social norms require you to be submissive. No amount of advice, guidance, or assistance is ever going to challenge years… Read more »

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“I may have mentioned I had something like 30 jobs…”

People are hired on potential, thus even those starting out need something to show for their existence up to the point of interview. Selling yourself is a man’s greatest income generator. As bad a rap that salesmen get, they still remain the top mean earning classification.

I’m personally wary of the well-heeled class and still recognize the dangers of anti-intellectualism, a bias of mine, I admit.

SFC Ton
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Chicks get damp in the pants over watching animals fuck

They are revolted by the idea of fucking betas.

Let that shit sink in
———-

Not every man can be an apex alpha. Who gives a fuck? All most men need to become is alpha enough to enjoy life. 1st and foremost a man should be sovereign in his own life. Next should come quality of life.

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I’ve had girls orgasm on my bikes before and had a whole lot more get damn close to it.

An old biker joke is for girls to say their vibrator has 2 wheels and a very twin

https://custom.land/products/my-vibrator-weighs-800lbs-shirt

My second favorite shirt says loud pipes get pussy and that ain’t a lie either

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“Just say ‘yes sir’ and I’ll do my best”

EhIntellect
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@SFCTon

Word Mrs. Eh loves my ’84 V65 Sabre.

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“Not every man can be an apex alpha. Who gives a fuck? All most men need to become is alpha enough to enjoy life. 1st and foremost a man should be sovereign in his own life. Next should come quality of life.”

SFC Ton, You are genius with words because of your lived experiences. Instead of men whining, they should move toward Alpha. Gain agency. Be Masterful.

Thanks for the pithy words, man.

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@James

What?

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“when the social norms require you to be submissive”

WTF. No, there isnt as much blindness here. Fuck bro…feel free to explain yerself. Your eyes are stitched shut.

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Submission is for pussies. The literal or figurative kind.

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…. there’s that word again, ” civilized “. @ Bromeo I won’t address the issue of male suicide, because it is real and a real unaddressed problem. But I have one thing to say about all of this bullshit about gender quotas – who the fuck is making this shit possible? Who is in charge and passing legislation regarding this nonsense? I am no stranger to double digit unemployment rates, having seen them all of my life without fail. And I’ve always taken the position that if left totally unaddressed, like an infection it will eventually spread and kill the… Read more »

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You are too kind SJF. At most I have a knack for breaking things down to the basics

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Re: ” Lowly Character “.

Could someone explain to me what that means? Maybe James could expound?

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” Submission is for pussies. The literal or figurative kind.”

Co-fucking-sign.

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Man, some days Ton is like a shot of adrenaline.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOoJoTAXDPk&w=854&h=480%5D

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little shiny ass objects that serve to rile and distract, the most basic foundations of a man’s ability to take care of himself and work according to his abilities??? – not a fucking word.

Legit Blax

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“You are too kind SJF. At most I have a knack for breaking things down to the basics. Um, Sorry? Masculine recognizes masculine. Like you and Blax. Otherwise known as good masculine role models. Not hardly Ton. I’m the most judgmental and least empathetic person I know. If you break things down to basics, the fact is that they are masculine red pill basics (What you do). And that is hard to do and you do it well. I’m just acknowledging that. Fun fact: In Matt Ridley’s ‘The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature’, female birds have… Read more »

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https://www.xsinc.com/my-coworkers-are-my-friends/

I call dibs on this guy being a douche writing an essay.

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“breaking things down to the basics” I witnessed a teamwork exercise once. 6 guys had to move a full size car without wheels 50 feet or so. They were all committed as to fail meant…well…anyways…it was a bit of thought, a lot of hard work, no clever tricks.. The exercise instructor, mid-struggle, asked a participant, “Do you think you’ll finish?” and one guy honestly said “I’m not sure.” They kept on and finished after adjusting the plan about 5 times, using every sinew. I think of that when I hear “Work smarter, not harder.” Sometimes hard work is the only… Read more »

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@SJF

“I would gladly hang out with any of my coworkers outside of work. My coworkers are my friends.”

Translation: I am not, nor ever will be, a sexually viable candidate to any of my coworkers.

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Ya. Thanks a million Rollo for setting this place up.

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from the article Rollo cited….

” A woman’s prime directive in life is to sell herself the moon. A man’s directive is to sidestep paying her inflated price for that moon.”

lolololololol

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Another great photo Rollo.

Please kill me if I’m ever caught in public wearing a shirt and tie with jeans and sneakers.

Non-verbal communication and group presentation via uniforms.

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2010/11/1/1288616594123/England-Rugby-League-team-006.jpg

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Spectacular stuff. The shame and tragedy of it is that I don’t think the Aussie guy in the Goldamund fact pattern learned the lesson. Maybe next time you run into that situation Goldamund, specifically tell the the guy “I’m going to teach you something, let’s see if you are smart enough to figure out what the lesson is”. Then take his girl and bang her in the bathroom!

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“Non-verbal communication and group presentation via uniforms.”

And I know exactly what those men are about just by looking at them. The office dweebs; I can’t tell if they want to have a business meeting, shovel shit or go out for a jog.

Enter Tanner Guzy – stage right.

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@Seraph Much delayed: Yes, I do have a banging life away from computer screens. Didn’t want to leave you hanging — I respect your questions. We are not completely at odds and I think we can finally bury this bastard Aussie-Goldmund chimera-dead horse in the ground. Glad Rollo has a new OP as I don’t want this to clutter up the current discussions. Unfortunately, we have devolved into an unnecessary parsing of the definition of male emotional pain. @Seraph wrote “Blue Pill code running in men’s brains completely anesthethizes them to any awareness of pain, emotional or psychological distress when… Read more »

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@Ajax, Thanks for getting back to me. I do understand RL time constraints, which is why I got a following post in when time allowed. It was rather a busy weekend. In regards to your latest comment, I simply have to shrug at this point because you think I am misinterpreting or misconstruing your words but I only have what you wrote to go on: “No, I did not say all BP men (such as your divorce-raped and cuckolded poor bastards) in the entire betasphere are numb to feeling actual emotional pain over a woman. I appreciate your black-and-white thinking… Read more »

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@Seraph @Ajax Parallax originally wrote “The novocaine programmed into the blue pill beta code runs deep. So deep that many a BP oneitis beta are unaware of their own psychic wounds…” @Seraph responded “So, explain to me here your thinking in more detail…have I got this right? Blue Pill code running in men’s brains completely anesthethizes them to any awareness of pain, emotional or psychological distress when being rejected, of having the girl they fancy and go out of their way to help, support, cater to, etc. fuck someone else; being humiliated; used; etc, etc…” You quoted yourself in your… Read more »

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“Blue Pill code running in men’s brains completely anesthethizes them to any awareness of pain, emotional or psychological distress when being rejected,
of having the girl they fancy and go out of their way to help, support, cater to, etc. fuck someone else; being humiliated; used; etc, etc…”

So when I found out my girl friend was doing her boss, the excruciating pain I felt wasn’t real? It felt real to me.

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Not my quote.
Not the point.

I know of BP oneitis guys who, when confronted with irrefutable evidence of their oneitis’s cheating ways, became enraged and sided hook, line and sinker with their snowflake’s porous alibis.

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@Ajax Parallax

Thanks for explaining. Some times I feel like a 3rd grader trying to learn Shakespeare but I am learning. Slowly.

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Seraph
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@Ajax My apologies. You are correct. I copy and pasted the wrong thing. I was thinking of this when I responded: “The novocaine programmed into the blue pill beta code runs deep. So deep that many a BP oneitis beta are unaware of their own psychic wounds until a third party (the parent in my child analogy and RT or TRM in an RP example) points it out to them.” In my haste did not realize I was quoting *my* re-interpretation of it. My bad. Here at least you did put a qualifier with the use of ‘many’, although I… Read more »

Seraph
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Seraph
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@Ajax, Following up on your subsequent comment: “And, yes, there is a difference between a BP oneitis beta and the rest of the BP betasphere.” Okay, so your contention is that a BP specifically suffering from oneitis will in the vast majority of cases be unaware of his own suffering* when the object of his oneitis rejects him explicitly and publicly by engaging in same night coitus with a complete stranger as happened in the Goldmund scenario? *For this statement, I am hoping we have at least a common approximation that ‘psychic wounds’ means some sort of emotional pain or… Read more »

Ken
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Ken
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“is it my obligation to do so?” Sort of, but not really. It is good to help those who want to be helped and are actually willing to be helped. I am thankful for your writings, but you don’t owe me anything. You have no obligation to make the world better, only that you don’t make it worse. The past few years have been hard and interesting, but sadly I went from anger to apathy and am not sure how to combat that. It’s insidious. I know I’m apathetic and should change, but … I’m apathetic. The apathy started as… Read more »

SJF
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SJF
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@Ken

What’s your take on morality?

And Apathy is your definition for a stage of grief called Depression. You are in a phase of Depression. Work through it and Accept where you are at in Stages.

You are not at fault. It is normal to have feelings in the stages. Work through the stages of unplugging and grief with time, distance and movement.

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[…] The Utility of Beta Men – II […]

JohnD
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JohnD
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I know this is an old post, but I have a field report that ties into this utility of beta men post nicely. I have a female colleague that informed me she is leaving her job where we work and moving to France. She is riding her motorbike there 950 miles or so but is anxious about doing so. She is a pretty 25 year old lady and told me she asked her instagram followers if anyone is up for a road trip. Motorcycling being a predominantly males, she told me some guys have stepped up to offer to go… Read more »

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