When I first began writing on SoSuave over a decade ago I used to get into what I consider now some fairly predictable arguments about monogamy. It was an interesting time since it was around then I was getting into some heated arguments in my behavioral psychology classes in college.
I had just written what would later become my essay, There is no One and a good majority of my classmates and all of my teachers but one were less than accepting of the theory. I anticipated most of the women in those classes would be upset – bear in mind this was around 2001-02 and the Red Pill was yet to be a thing – what I was surprised by was how many men became hostile by my having challenged the soulmate myth.
I got a lot of the same flack from women then that I get from uninitiated women when they read my work now; “Aren’t you married? Isn’t she your soulmate? Don’t you believe in love? You must’ve got burned pretty bad at some time Mr. Hateful.” Those were and are what I expect because they’re the easy subroutine responses a Blue Pill ego needs to protect itself with. There was a time I probably would’ve mouthed the same. That’s how the conditioning works; it provides us with what we think ought to be ‘obvious’ to anyone. And at the same time, we feel good for ‘defying the odds’ and believing in what we take for granted, or common sense.
This is how deep the subconscious need for assuring our genetic heritage goes. For women this assurance is about optimal Hypergamy, for men, it’s about assurances of paternity. In either case, we need to believe that we will reproduce, and so much so that we will attribute some supernatural influence to the process of doing so. The fulfillment of your own sexuality is nothing less than your battle for existence, and on some level, your subconscious understands this. Thus, for the more religious-minded it gets attributed to fate and faith, whereas for the more secular-minded it’s about the romanticized notion of a soulmate.
Monogamy & ONEitis
I contemplated the idea of ONEitis for a long time back then. I’d most certainly been through it more than once, even with the BPD ex-girlfriend. By then I understood first hand how the belief absorbs a Beta and how it is an essential element, effectively a religion, for a Blue Pill life experience. I didn’t realize it then, but I was maturing into a real valuation of myself and I had the benefit of some real-world experiences with the nature of women to interpret and contrast what I was learning then.
Honestly, I had never even encountered the term ‘ONEitis’ prior to my SoSuave forum days. I referred to the soulmate myth in my writing as best I could, but it wasn’t until (I suppose) Mystery had coined the term. Outside the ‘sphere people got genuinely upset with me when I defined it for them. Back then I attributed this to having their ego-investment challenged, and while that’s part of it, today I believe there’s more to it than this.
The old social contracts that constituted what I call the Old Set of Books meant a lot in respect to how the social orders prior to the sexual revolution were maintained. That structuring required an upbringing that taught men and women what their respective roles were, and those roles primarily centered on a lifetime arrangement of pair bonding.
It’s interesting to note that the popular theory amongst evolutionary anthropologists is that modern monogamous culture has only been around for just 1,000 years. Needless to say, it’s a very unpopular opinion that human beings are in fact predisposed to polyamory / polygyny and monogamy is a social adaptation (a necessary one) with the purpose of curbing the worst consequences of that nature. We want to believe that monogamy is our nature and our more feral impulses are spandrels and inconveniences to that nature. We like the sound of humans having evolved past our innate proclivities to the point that they are secondary rather than accepting them as fundamental parts of who we really are.
Women, in particular, are far more invested in promoting the idea of ‘natural’ monogamy since it is their sex that bears the cost of reproductive investments. Even the hint of men acknowledging their ‘selfish gene’ nature gets equated with a license to cheat on women. This is an interesting conflict for women who are increasingly accepting (if not outright flaunting) of Open Hypergamy.
I’ve attempted in past essays to address exactly this duplicity women have to rationalize with themselves. The Preventive Medicine book and posts outline the conflict and how women internalize and ‘hamsterize’ the need to be both Hypergamously selective, but to also prioritize long-term security at various stages of their lives. Ultimately a woman’s position on monogamy is ruled by how she balances her present Alpha Fucks with her future prospects of Beta Bucks.
Seed and Need
It might be that women would rather share a confirmed Alpha with other women than be saddled with a faithful Beta, but that’s not to say that necessity doesn’t eventually compel women to settle for monogamy with a dutiful Beta. In either respect, the onus of sustained, faithful monogamy is always a responsibility placed upon men. The indignation that comes from even the suspicions of a man’s “straying”, a wandering eye, or preplanned infidelity is one of the most delicious sensations a woman can feel. Women will create syndicated talk shows just to commiserate around that indignation.
But in an era when the likes of Sheryl Sandberg encourages women to fully embrace their Hypergamous natures and expects men to be equally accepting of it, it takes a lot of psychological gymnastics to reconcile the visceral feelings of infidelity with the foreknowledge that a less exciting Beta will be the only type of man who will calm her suspicions.
It’s important to also contrast this with the socialization efforts to make women both victims and blameless. As I mention in the last post, men who lack the appreciation of the necessity to prepare for a sustained monogamy with a woman are considered ‘kidults’ or prolonging their adolescence. They are shamed for not meeting women’s definition of being mature; that definition is always one that centers on the idea that men ought to center their lives around being better-than-deserved, faithful, monogamous potentials for women’s long-term security and parental investment.
On the other hand, women are never subject to any qualifications like this. In fact, they are held in higher regard for bucking the system and staying faithful to themselves by never marrying or even aborting children along the way to do so. So once again, we return to the socialization effort necessary to absolve women of the consequences that the conflict Hypergamy poses to them – they become both victims and blameless in confronting a monogamy they expect from men, but are somehow exempt from when it’s inconvenient.
Pair Bonding
Arguably, pair bonding has been a primary adaptation for us that has been species-beneficial. It’s fairly obvious that humans’ capacity for both intra- and inter-sexual cooperation has made us the apex species on the planet. However, the Feminine Imperative’s primary social impetus of making Hypergamy the defining order of (ideally) all cultures is in direct conflict with this human cooperativity. A new order of open Hypergamy, based on female primacy (and the equalist importance of the individual), subverts the need for pair bonding. There is no need for intersexual interdependence (complementarity) when women are socialized and lauded for being self-satisfying, self-sufficient individuals.
Add to this the conditioning of unaccountable victimhood and/or the inherent blamelessness of women and you get an idea of where our social order is heading.
Both sex’s evolved sexual strategies operate counter to the demands of pair bonded monogamy. For millennia we’ve adapted social mechanisms to buffer for it (marriage, male protectionism of women, etc.), but the cardinal rule of sexual strategies still informs these institutions and practices:
The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies:
For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own.
In this respect, it is men who are expected to make the greater compromise due to an evolved sense of uncertainty about paternity and the social mandate to accommodate women’s sexual strategy.
The counter to this is that women have always borne the responsibility of parental investment if they chose a father poorly (or didn’t choose), but in our post-sexual revolution social order, the consequences of this responsibility have been virtually eliminated. In fact, those consequences are now viewed as evidence of women’s independent strength.
Even aborting a child is a source of pride now.
Men bear the greater effect of compromising their sexual strategies to accommodate and resolve the strategy of women. When we account for the normalization of open Hypergamy, soft cuckoldry, and the legal resistance to paternity testing (ostensibly centering on the emotional wellbeing of the child in question) it is much clearer that men bear the most direct consequences for compromising their sexual imperatives.
From Warren Farrell’s book. Why Men are the Way They Are (h/t to SJF):
Why are men so afraid of commitment? Chapter 2 explained how most men’s primary fantasy is still, unfortunately, access to a number of beautiful women. For a man, commitment means giving up this fantasy. Most women’s primary fantasy is a relationship with one man who either provides economic security or is on his way to doing so (he has “potential”). For a woman, commitment to this type of man means achieving this fantasy. So commitment often means that a woman achieves her primary fantasy, while a man gives his up. — P.150
Men who “won’t commit” are often condemned for treating women as objects — hopping from one beautiful woman to the next. Many men hop. But the hopping is not necessarily objectifying. Men who “hop from one beautiful woman to another” are usually looking for what they could not find at the last hop: good communication, shared values, good chemistry. — P.153
The meaning of commitment changed for men between the mid-sixties and the mid-eighties. Commitment used to be the certain route to sex and love, and to someone to care for the children and the house and fulfill the “family man image.” Now men feel less as if they need to marry for sex; they are more aware that housework can be hired out and that restaurants serve meals; they are less trapped by family-man image motivation, including the feeling that they must have children. Increasingly, that leaves men’s main reason to commit the hope of a woman to love. — P.159
Dr. Farrell is still fundamentally trapped in a Blue Pill perspective because he still clings to the validity of the old order books/rules, and the willfully ignorant hope that women will rationally consider men’s sexual imperatives as being as valid as their own.
That said, Farrell’s was the germ of the idea I had for the Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies, he just didn’t go far enough because he was (and still is) stuck in Blue Pill idealistic hopes of monogamy. Bear in mind, Farrell’s book is based on his intrasexual understandings of everything leading up to its publication in 1986, however, this does give us some insight into how the old order evolved its approach to monogamy then into an open, socially accepted form of Hypergamy now.
He relies on the old trope that men are afraid of commitment by reasoning that men only want to fulfill a fantasy of unlimited access to unlimited sexuality – all shallow, all superficial, while women’s priority of commitment is correct, selfless, valid and blameless. Farrell also reveals his Blue Pill conditioning by making the presumption that men only Game women in the hope that they’ll find a unicorn, and they’re endlessly fucking women for no other reason than to find a woman with good communication, shared values, good chemistry, etc.
I sincerely doubt that even in the mid 8os this was the case for men not want to commit to a woman, or essentially compromise his sexual strategy to accommodate that of women’s. Farrell never came to terms with dual nature of women’s sexual strategy and how it motivates women over time because he believes men and women have, fundamentally, the same concept of love and mutually shared end-goals.
Mandates & Responses
In the decades since this publication, the normalization and legal mandates that ensure men will (by force if necessary) comply with this compromise is something I doubt Farrell could’ve ever predicted. Legal aspects, social aspects, that used to be a source of women stigmatization about this compromise have all been swept away or normalized, if not converted to some redefined source of supposed strength. Abortion rights, single parenting (almost exclusively the domain of women), postponing birth, careerism, freezing women’s eggs, sperm banks, never-marrying, body fat acceptance and many more aspects are all accepted in the name of strong independence® for women.
Virtually anything that might’ve been a source of regret, shame, or stigmatization in the old order is dismissed or repurposed to elevate women, but what most men never grasp (certainly not Dr. Farrell) is that all of these normalizations were and are potential downsides to a woman’s Hypergamous decisions.
MGTOW/PUA/ The Red Pill, are all the deductive responses to this normalization, but also, they’re a response to the proposition of the compromise that the Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies presents to men in today’s sexual marketplace.
In all of these ‘movements’ the fundamental, central truth is that they all run counter to the presumption that men must compromise (or abandon) their sexual imperatives – long or short term. Thus, these ideologies and praxeologies have the effect of challenging or removing some of the total control of Hypergamy women now have mandated to them. Even just the concepts of MGTOW/PUA/TRP are equatable to removing this control.
However, it is still undeniable that there is a necessity for monogamy (even if it’s just temporary) or some iteration of pair bonding that ensures men and women raise healthier, stronger, better-developed children. We are still social animals and, despite what equalism espouses, we are different yet complementary and interdependent with one another. Mutual cooperation, tribalism, monogamy and even small-scale polygamy have been beneficial social adaptations for us.
Gynocentrism and the respondent efforts against it defeat this complementary cooperative need.
Gynocentrism / egalitarianism defeat this cooperation in its insistence that equalism, self-apart independence, and homogeny ought to be society’s collective mental point of origin in place of the application of differing strengths to differing weaknesses.
So we come to an impasse then. It’s likely it will require a traumatic social event to reset or redefine the terms of our present social contract to ever make monogamy a worthwhile compromise for men again. We can also contrast this ‘raw deal’ compromise against the Cardinal Rule of Relationships: In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least. It’s easy to think women simply have no need of men when their long-term security is virtually assured today, but fem-centrism goes beyond just separating the sexes by need. It wasn’t enough to just separate male and female cooperation, fem-centrism has made men’s compromise so bad that they must be made to despise their sex altogether. Men had to be made not only to accept their downside compromise but to feel ashamed for even thinking not to.
to Right Rev. @Ya Don’t get me started on bogus ADHD diagnoses and docility treatments. Past few years I saw lots and lots of it, boys being drugged because they were, uh, BOYS. Acting like BOYS. When I was 5, I’m told I was a royal terror in kindergarten for one reason: I already knew how to read. So I was full tits bored. They had no idea what to do with me so they sent me to a shrink (I still remember the sessions) who was smart enough to figure it out. Luckily this was long before Ritalin was… Read more »
@ YaReally ” Now what could cause bad sleep quality in rambunctious young twin kids in a household where you don’t ask the father (if there is one) his opinion…maybe having no rules (like bedtime, dietary habits, no iPad past 9pm, no staying out late, etc) enforced around the house by a strong male authority figure? Having strange men in your house banging your single mom all night? Mommy coming home in the middle of the night from getting railed? Not being given an outlet at school like recess and gym class to run around and burn off energy incase… Read more »
Apparently YaReally is thinking with his lizard brain. Wait, since I’m doing what I want, I’m also thinking with my lizard brain. We are lizards, and will be shamed by the Knights of Right
@rollo
I love how he left the kid thing in there just to fuel speculation. “Kid? What kid?” [heavy wink]
Roosh has really had a paradigm shift. He’s been monogamous for the last year? Did he move in with a single mother? Is he raising another guy’s children? What’s up with his eyes?
It seems to me that YaReally and Sentient are both right. There’s no conflict – YaReally is right that the “base conditions” for men have worsened in the last generation for all the reasons he says. The RESPONSE to it is as Sentient says (and it has always been the response) – the proper application of masculine traits and qualities and leadership including in (but not limited to) parenting. It’s just that while doing that we have to be aware that the environment to exercise those qualities has become more hostile. But we still need to do it.
Enter your comment here… @Rollo Tomassi Speaking oxymoronically, Holy Shit (literally in the case of Roosh). RooshV: meet Tucker Max. Tucker Max? Meet RooshV. Oh, and don’t forget to invite Mark Minter to join your next yoked plow-ox meetup group. So another bad boy is doomed to oneitis. The rest writes itself: In 10 years, Roosh’s wife leaves him and takes their kid. Why? Because her wiring unconsciously fills her with disgust that he has voluntarily bowed his neck so she can yoke him to her field plow … this reformed AF scorned bad boy (who she secretly craves). What… Read more »
He’s setting himself up as the prophet of a new religion at RoK just a few days ago, now in the middle of the video he’s going Orthodox, but at the end of the video he’s talking about death as personal annihilation, the antithesis of Christian teaching.
“If your baby, make you crazy,
don’t know where she goin’.
Eyes so messed up that they look,
which way the wind is blowin’.”
@YaReally, I gotta ask you something about making myself my mental point of origin, and you seem to be that happy combination of a man who’s got his shit sorted and is happy to tell how it’s done, a lot of what you’ve written has already been real helpful. Some background though – pissed to have wasted so many years going in the wrong direction because I accepted the wrong map, but keen to get back on the right track. I’ve started trying the ‘me first, because what I want is important too’ approach and it often gets positive results… Read more »
“The kind of self sacrifice that the armed forces rely on where the fighting men keep it together to look after their brothers in arms.” The basic purpose of basic training is to beat the alpha out of you, to make you submit, so that you look after your brothers in arms while doing what are told. The physical conditioning aspect is in large part a ruse, even going against the principles of conditioning. It was not designed by physiologists; it was designed by psychologists. “Putting it another way – have alphas never melded themselves into teams, just ordered betas… Read more »
@KFG
Can’t say I’m entirely surprised. It follows the script when someone mentally unstable gets juice, notoriety and validation from so-called acolytes … and makes a wild hard left turn into the higher perceived spiritual realm.
I predict that Roosh is at the leading edge of a subsequent Jerusalem Syndrome. Maybe he can turn his mom’s house into a compound since he is undoubtedly broke and will have to live off of his follower’s tithes and offerings.
http://adage.com/article/adage-encyclopedia/debeers-consolidated-mines/98615/ ….and today our male babies are born into a culture that mandates they spend a significant amount of their hard earned income to purchase an expensive materialistic token only to confirm subjugation to such a vulgar celebration of the insatiable solipsistic female ego. Women and marketers have effectively conned masses of men into thinking they must purchase the right to mate and reproduce. Millions of men are duped into this bullshit in various ways as they willingly, stupidly, with false hope, waste their energy and resources on such frivolous crap. Fathers waste millions on meaningless wedding theatrics that last… Read more »
“Alphas do not join organizations. They start them.”
Most successful people (whatever other label you want to give them) learn it through experience. They start their own organizations after a range of experiences (which usually requires some training…iow, working with others, iow, under others and “joining their organization”). Successful people who don’t do this and become successful without any experience are something beyond outliers. If alphas are successful people who refuse to have ever, and would never join an organization you are taking the (what’s the current ratio? 20 percent?) and making it more like 0.1 percent.
On Roosh…
Do you think just maybe it is all orchestrated to complement his false hope to power; like his theatrical “millennial man” ISIS cleric style poser beard?
@anon:
Everyone starts out as a child. Yes.
But if you watch them, you will find that some children start organizations.
@NBTM:
Both of my exes bought their own rings.
http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/greek-orthodox-priest-jerusalem-mel-noodelman.jpg
Orthodox is eastern.
Are you starting your own organization here, kfg, or are you a member (aka “joiner”)?
@Not Born This Morning
Yes, this is on the table as well. The “full of shit” approach is the other side of the coin in this case.
Roosh is shrewd, if nothing else. Dipak Chopra is living a pretty phat life reciting Rumi et al and I’m sure RV is well aware of this … his ROI for something that takes literally no up-front capital to pull off.
@anon:
Neither.
“Lots of water under the bridge,
lots of other stuff too.
Don’t get up, gentlemen,
I’m only passing through.”
@ Culum Struan It seems to me that YaReally and Sentient are both right….. The RESPONSE to it is as Sentient says (and it has always been the response) – the proper application of masculine traits and qualities and leadership including in (but not limited to) parenting. +1 I may be a pea in Sentients peapod, but good parenting matters. And with the right resources it is actually pretty instinctual for a man with masculine traits and leadership qualities. After you have children, you better damn well do your best for their sake and that includes the dad not fucking… Read more »
Thanks Sentient, I sensed a frame grab of some kind in the overall dynamic. It wasn’t really an ‘I’m totally in charge’ frame. But it’s definitely a bit ‘I’m not going to just let you do whatever the hell you want’ frame. But I’m not quite sure how to really deal with it. I’m not gonna just be like ‘bitch, don’t tell me what to do!’ and slap her anyways lol. I suppose it starts at the beginning. Frame arises from need. She doesn’t NEED me, she just likes hanging and banging w me. And frankly, a frame where I… Read more »
@ Roosh
… gloat gloat gloat gloat.
@just getting it “I gotta ask you something about making myself my mental point of origin, and you seem to be that happy combination of a man who’s got his shit sorted and is happy to tell how it’s done, a lot of what you’ve written has already been real helpful. Some background though – pissed to have wasted so many years going in the wrong direction because I accepted the wrong map, but keen to get back on the right track.” This goes back to Andy’s existential crisis. Which in reality is a good thing. It is not pathological.… Read more »
Just a short ( I promise ) rant concerning Roosh-
Fuck that guy.
I watched half of a video on RooshV.com, and he is still a fucking idiot. I have no sympathy for him at all.
Fuck him and everything that he’s trying to do…whatever the fuck that is.
Chickens. They come home to roost.
I consider him as an enemy to me. I only hope that he keeps growing that dumb assed beard ever longer, and he goes waltzing around in public. Lol.
Once again, fuck that stupid low IQ asshole.
“Just a short ( I promise ) rant concerning Roosh-” I need a long rant. SJF can you lecture on identity crises? Anybody (Emily?) explain this, his latest post has: “One of the most consistent messages of the Bible is a clear warning to stay away from promiscuous or immoral women” His whole site has stuff like “Join 40,000 other men on my free email newsletter and learn how to meet women. Articles include: 7 Tips For First Dates That Lead To Sex, How To Tease A Girl, How To Handle Flakey Girls, and a whole lot more.” and “Bang,… Read more »
http://andreakihlstedt.com/wpsys/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Lizard-Brain-300×298.png
“SJF can you lecture on identity crises?” I definitely could. But I’m very indifferent to how Roosh couldn’t resolve his existential crisis and it devolved into a simple identity crisis. An identity crisis is an adolescent skill set problem. Non-resolved former issues before starting a career. Esp. a writing for money career. Neil Strauss was a nerd and turned Stylish. Tucker Max was a drunken frat boy and turned stable. Roosh was grown up in a normal family and rebelled from normal-ness. There in lies their problems. They had supreme cognitive dissonance screaming in the back of their heads. They… Read more »
Short FR: She even showed up in short ass cut off jean shorts and really seemed to want to keep enjoying the night. Unfortunately ran in to the language barrier (really hard to slap clever innuendo in when she’s having trouble getting straight forward language) and cock blocked by her roomie. Kept being messaged over and over again by roomie complaining about being lonely. Despite my push to get outta there to my place, lots of kino, holding hands out for a walk, I still got cock blocked. Derp. My Game wasn’t bad, but wasn’t on point either. Just an… Read more »
@Sun:
See the invisible, touch the untouchable.
Whatcha wanna do is whatcha gonna do,
break the rules and you see the truth.
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/174/742/myth-bird-on-sign.jpg
@Culum Struan “It seems to me that YaReally and Sentient are both right. There’s no conflict – YaReally is right that the “base conditions” for men have worsened in the last generation for all the reasons he says. The RESPONSE to it is as Sentient says (and it has always been the response) – the proper application of masculine traits and qualities and leadership including in (but not limited to) parenting. It’s just that while doing that we have to be aware that the environment to exercise those qualities has become more hostile. But we still need to do it.”… Read more »
Oops image didn’t work. It’s the image version of this scene where Roosh is convincingly describing how awesome his sex life is:
FR:
Roosh is afraid of getting old alone. That is not a crime. He is through with the cooch carousel, has seen the “wall” approaching at the speed of light (roflmao) and now that he has “discovered his real self at last”, he is ready to “settle”.
Whose script is Roosh reeling off and why?
Good try. But the part where the boy cries and the dude tells him about “working through barriers”; that is a new one. In the old times there was no shit like that. A man hardly EVER cried. If he did, he did it alone behind a bush and hardly EVER admitted “doing it all the time” to anyone least to a bunch of kids.
@YaReally Nice breakdown. Spot on. Roosh pushed his whole pile of chips on double 00 green with his myopic one-trick Bang! Scores of pussy – F any unwelcoming whores, boys PUA cashflow model. Massive one-channel sunk cost by playing to the hardassed PUA extremes where there is no possible opportunity or room for de-escalation into “Now I’m a fuzzy spiritual stoic monogamist and have a great gal to grow old with.” Not this fast. The only sliver of a chance he had was to pull this off so gradually over a long enough timeline that his paying legion of boiled… Read more »
@cheupez “Good try. But the part where the boy cries and the dude tells him about “working through barriers”; that is a new one. In the old times there was no shit like that. A man hardly EVER cried. If he did, he did it alone behind a bush and hardly EVER admitted “doing it all the time” to anyone least to a bunch of kids.” Yup. That’s part of the point. Even when we find someone teaching boys to toughen up, it’s couched in the FI and warped into crying all the time. But you could argue that his… Read more »
@ YaReally, 2/5 “Max Gets Painfully Ignored”, That seemed awful as I watched it! This is no insult on Max as I’m not familiar with him and I’m sure he is very good at what he does, but that particular clip just seemed really bad to me. So the point is to just push through anyway as they are ignoring you and just keep non-sensically rambling about whatever from your stream of consciousness. I’m being serious. That’s the first video I think that I’ve seen like that one. Would you mind elaborating a little on that one? BTW, I liked… Read more »
@ YaReally,
Oh, okay I get it now. It’s just an exercise in persistence and maintaining your positive mental frame regardless of their initial responsiveness. That makes more since then.
@Colbert Oh it’s awkward as fuck. But watch it all the way through and understand that the girl he walks off with at the end is the girl he reaches his hand out to shake hands with that’s off-camera when the set finally cracks. HE’s demonstrating not to let initial bad reactions and social pressure faze you. 99.99999% of guys would have given up somewhere in that first long awkward 5 minutes, probably after the first thing he said was ignored, guys would walk away. But he just pushes through the “No” girl attitude/social pressure and the second one of… Read more »
@YaReally: that male teacher video is cringe inducing, but if the guy stops running away and immobilized the student, can you imagine how much trouble he would be in?
I know with better frame he would be able to not have that crap escalate so much in the first place (see Blax’s example of the mom of the kid that would fall through some fencing), but this is like that Louis CK video you have where a bunch of hooligans are making noise during his date and he eventually gets threatened with physical violence.
@YaReally: there are so many cool RSD videos but also a lot of stuff that is boring, I really appreciate you “curating” it a bit for us.
Max on top of the table is hilarious. Wrecking ball Frame.
@ YaReally, “Their biological wiring is designed TO act up, to test the men around them to make sure they’re surrounded by alphas like Blaximus who will smack them down into place (because THAT guy is going to protect them and their offspring and their offspring is going to be a badass like him), or to find out if they’re surrounded by beta chodes who are going to let them do whatever they want (if you can’t tell a stupid silly 21yo GIRL “no”, how are you going to take on the world to protect your offspring and how much… Read more »
With all the social programming will we ever reach a point where gay beta dandys become hot property? Surely females in power positions must experience some biological or at least brain changes. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that masculine females would be desirous of effeminate men? As an aside I am being pursued hard by a post wall nurse and as an inadvertent mgtow this has taken me by surprise. I thought I killed my beta a while ago but submissive feminine energy has bought back a flood of beta. Fuck, fuck, fuck…..I wish frame was as easy as taking… Read more »
Never mind about Roosh. I think I answered a lot of my own questions.
Ya
Are you familiar with Pook’s Anti Dump Machine?
Your take seems to be diametrically opposed, as the guru of all things game i’d love to hear your take on this.
The way I’m seeing it Roosh and Krauser are effectively practicing the Anti Dumo machine.
@Colbert “grasping the idea that women want the alpha and not the beta and when they see beta they react a certain way. It’s like you develop the alpha characteristics and incorporate them to the point where those characteristics become congruent with who you are and that comes across and that is what women are looking for and respond positively to in the field (but it needs congruency to really “sell it”).” This video should drive it home, Tyler shows infield vid of his beta buddy and him running the same stuff but the girls put his beta friend into… Read more »
@Johnycomelately “Are you familiar with Pook’s Anti Dump Machine?” Never heard of it till now. Just skimmed it. Looks like the exact gay shit I’m talking about lol Just a bunch of pain-avoidance and spray ‘n pray. Complete opposite of what Mystery was teaching and what we were doing in the oldschool days. Dude is basically just looking for easy lay-ups and “NEXT”ing girls who aren’t interested. Like Tyler said back in the old days: “You can’t NEXT a girl you haven’t FUCKED…that’s her NEXTing YOU.” “Your take seems to be diametrically opposed, as the guru of all things game… Read more »
@YaReally, Martial arts video: I had some emotions swell inside me seeing the huge amount of respect and expectations they all had for themselves and each other.
Jeffy: Jeffy seems to know his shit, but I don’t remember ever seeing him actually pull. Before today, for quite some time, I’ve been wondering if he’s like a keyboard jockey, theory PUA guy just living off of his past credentials. Am I wrong here?
YaReally Sentient HABD etc (I am just dropping a quick FR from last night while still fresh – will circle back later and respond to the previous posts directed to me as in a bit of a rush now) Wed night solo FR – bit of a bust. Went to a singles event. First time solo to this event (been with wings before and had good success). Really wasn’t feeling the vibe and was out of state. It wasn’t “night clubby” enough to get a few drinks and get into state – too bright and too social if that makes… Read more »
@yareally Yareallyarchive.com is not being updated with new content each week from the last month.Can you fix it or ask Lumpy? My first comment. BTW, cold approaching here in India. Bit conservative society at times since some girls are socially conditioned to be very cautious of strangers. But your FR break down are helping a lot with girls who are receptive. Thanks a lot for your writings here. From the last 6 months doing cold approaches, are now getting #s and dates. But since I have been reading old archives like crazy, hopefully I feel I am more aware of… Read more »
@ YaReally,
Yep, that first video w/Tyler is pure gold and really does drive it home. Regarding the second video w/Jeff wearing the Jesus Saves t-shirt and being audacious. Yep makes since as the hindbrain will read that as alpha.
@Colbert @Johnycomelately Here’s an oldschool example of Mystery dealing with non-stop shit-tests: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqFo2UIzZ18 Again most guys would call this girl a “NO girl” or a cunty bitch bla bla and walk away. But nothing she does fazes Mystery. Even coming off robotic sounding it doesn’t really matter, girls aren’t thinking logically, they’re reading subcomms. They keep having a frame battle and Mystery just sticks to his training. When her friend comes in he starts ignoring her to win over the girl that other guys would view as “oh no an obstacle” and playing them off eachother, etc etc By the… Read more »
@yareally
I forgot, i was having that exact madonna/whore complex , madonna the girls I know and see in real life and whores the actress etc seen in media/TV. It hit like a brick and how a guy could exactly mention the same feeling that I felt and harboured for 12+ years…
To believe every girls was a slut, was the toughest thing to swallow and accept it and live with that knowledge every day from the day I read that entry.
I can’t thank you enough for writing that exact post/entry .
I feel that the need to defend YaReally here. Some people are going to say why is he talking about parenting and business models when he has no field experience at all in these areas, and point out the YaReally Archive seems to be not a business. Yet it is important to recognize the value he still adds to these areas, such as the dog park analogy. It’s like Lamar talking “this dick ain’t free” about society: https://youtu.be/_ZTYgq4EoRo Then drizzy uses it literally on the DJ Khaled track and now white rapper Mac Miller adds value: https://youtu.be/LR3GQfryp9M I probably took… Read more »
What I learned from being single for 51 years: Don’t ruin your life by yearning for something you haven’t yet got, says CHRISTINA PATTERSON
…The steady, reliable men I met seemed boring. What made my pulse race was charming men who made me laugh. What made my heart sing, in fact, was narcissistic charmers who played the game and often didn’t stick around….
…When I hit 30, panic kicked in. I put a skull and crossbones on the invitation to my party and pretended it was just a joke about passing time.
That’s where i have issues with MGTOW. You can’t ever completely break away from women. This reminds me of something I wanted to ask here in general. The general narrative about MGTOW in the ‘sphere is that they are “avoiding women”. A more general narrative pushed in the mainstream media by Zimbardo, Hymowitz, Milo and other blue/purple pill journalists is that a growing number of young men are avoiding women. What does “avoiding women” precisely mean in the current socio-cultural context in the West? The word “avoid” entails some sort of active, deliberate, protective measure. My problem with that is… Read more »
@yareally “And 3) it’s nice for the older guys here to see a dude who’s 45 gaming young chicks and just running standard Mystery Method, nothing real fancy, just having the basics down solid and following the system.” Ha yeah this *is* encouraging… but he’s Mystery *and* he’s got height. An I think the Katlin Jenner look is “in” these days so that helps. @From India “Your verbose texting has helped as well since I fall into that category as well. In fact, I am sort of depending only on your advice and writings ditching all others since you are… Read more »
@newlyaloof I <3 Jeffy, really good vibe and witty style. You are right about the lack of infield, but do you really think he would be teaching with RSD for close to 10 years being a keyboard jockey? While julien, max and Todd have been releasing new programs with infield, Jeffy has released back-to-back ONLINE programs (new one is technically an update, "v 2.0") neither of which I've found torrents of. I'm pretty sure it includes full text/online exchanges though as "infield" I just finished reading 9 ball, which is many of his earlier FRs edited to be more readable,… Read more »
@Longtorso; that female is a failure at womaning…. no children and no husband.
“You can have a full-time job, or go to college, have a social circle, have hobbies, buddies etc., basically a normie life, and still “avoid” women.”
Which raises the question:
Have you gone outside any time during the last 50 years?
@Harrison, as I mentioned, I think he has the skills, but I just don’t remember seeing any videos of him actually pulling a girl home. I don’t scour the internet looking for any, but just the all the RSD vids I’ve seen I didn’t see him pull.
@Hollenhund Co-sign, and this “soft MGTOW” observation ties in nicely with the WashPost’s “no sex please we’re collegiate” article. MGTOW is now socially subsidized and easy to implement: just do nothing! At college, don’t engage in class, or even better, “attend” the lectures on-line. Say no more in class or lab than you must, then leave. Start no convos, you won’t be dragged into any. All of this goes for cubicle workers: in the lunchroom, stare at your phone, or eat at your desk, or if you can, get outside but go alone. No feelings caught, no feelings hurt. Everybody… Read more »
” Say no more in class or lab than you must, then leave . . .”
. . . because you can’t avoid women in class.
Great article Rollo
Forge A few thoughts for you. No judgement on your game or what you want to get out of this particular girl, but since you are inquisitive, some things to consider. “But I’m not quite sure how to really deal with it. I’m not gonna just be like ‘bitch, don’t tell me what to do!’ and slap her anyways lol.” Interesting response no? Why not do that? As always the right question is better than an answer. So imagine you did one of the following in response to what is a shit test of your frame: a) a smirk… place… Read more »
@newlyaloof “Jeffy seems to know his shit, but I don’t remember ever seeing him actually pull.” He doesn’t have as much infield up as the other guys because I think he just hates working in general and does the bare minimum he has to (Tyler has to bug him to upload vlogs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEafDmdID70&t=25s Also he’s in San Francisco which is full of uggos and SJWs and shit VS the other guys who game in LA and Vegas and Miami etc, so I doubt there’s much hotness worth capturing on video to inspire guys out there. But the dude drives a… Read more »
@Ya Really:
It’s interesting that the analogy of roulette has come up above, because during some of these conversations what has been running through my mind was:
“Just take everything you’ve got, everything you ever will have and everything you can possibly borrow and put it all on 00.
You’ll be fine, it worked for me.”
dalrock with yet another home run
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2016/08/04/feminist-atlantic-waxes-conservative/
At any rate, we should expect to see an increasing frequency and intensity of articles worrying about how men are reacting to the radical redefinition of the family, as men’s choices slowly catch up with reality. These articles will come both from conservatives looking to conserve feminist progress, as well as feminists who find themselves suddenly conservative when it comes to men as (selfish) breadwinners. There is after all one thing conservatives and feminists can agree on whole heartedly, and that is that weak men are screwing feminism up.
Yareally, ya been busy… quite a cloud of gamma to wade through. But here is your cookie. and 5,436 certified Internet Warrior points. Your hard work of strawmanning, ad homeneming, red herringing and straight up factual misstatements are exemplary. What I’ve learned: Mystery is 45. I am an ancient old man at 48 [heh a full what 12-13 years older than Ya?]. AWALT, always AWALT. Unless your W is from the “old set of books”. Then NAWALT. Any trouble check your warranty date fellas. If you got lucky and married in the 1990’s, 2016 divorce law is completely inapplicable to… Read more »
Shit tests and an Inferiority Complex. They’re like oil and water. Seeing that bodybuilder falling apart in that video was pretty eye opening for me, especially at a time where I’ve been working out more with the intention of procuring respect from people simply by physical appearance (i.e. fantasy that I will be able to avoid shit tests altogether, because shit tests press the ‘inferiority complex rage mode’ button….real solution is to get rid of the button, not build walls around it) I agree with Rollo about how working out is important, and that it DOES give you freebie IOI’s… Read more »
Hollenhund Keep in mind that men like Sentient are bound to stick to their chosen narrative, no matter what you say. Because they cannot argue for anything else. They have no other talking point. There’s nothing else they can tell other men. I’m curious to hear what my narrative is? And if you’ve ever written anything i’ve posted? Please enlighten me on my narrative. Fred Flange Unlike Sentient, knowing what I know now, I would NEVER counsel any man to marry today even though I can say I’m doing OK (at least this week). To be clear Fred, and it’s… Read more »
No matter how many stories I hear like this from guys like this it never stops being depressing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyTsqCOUJCY This kid’s got a lot of the “theory” down. He’s read the basics and “gets” some of the hows and whys of what’s going on and says all the talking points he’s read about biology and how women have changed bla bla. But he has no instruction/guideline for how to APPLY anything or take charge of his life and just talk to girls and people around him and start building friends and social circles and interacting with women to get a… Read more »
On RSD and PAU biz… Mystery blew up his company and then dealt with law suits and IP claims… Tyler may be the Gates of RSD (a stretch) but Papa is certainly the Ballmer http://www.rsdnation.com/papa/profile About Me: I live in Los Angeles, 28, 5’10”, dark hair and eyes, from Sacramento, I have a masters degree in business and I run my own company, I am warm, fun, ambitious, creative, I have a worldly charm, I am adventurous, easy to talk to, I love learning, I am stylish, I work out at the gym, race cars, likes snow skiing, fine-dining, reading,… Read more »
@Sentient
Ya, Papa handles the finances and office stuff etc, Tyler handles the marketing and public side of everything, and they both direct RSD toward wherever they want it to go.
Papa’s running a “how to be a successful entrepreneur” thing now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7tvQJZESxc
Dude’s been married for a while and has pretty much never appeared on video till now so he has super lame nervous subcomms right now lol
But ya, thanks for posting RSD’s advertisement and showing off Papa’s house? lol
lol’ed at this guest, I haven’t actually watched any of these:
@ YaReally That is really depressing. I wish more people were aware of how depressing it is. Then maybe more people would wake up to how fucked up all of this shit is. I’ve been feeling nihilistic about all of this lately. The whole BPD relationship thing just makes everything worse too. So you take a damaged guy who’s trying to recover and now on top of having personal issues he has issues from the BPD relationship that further complicate things. One of my friends was in a BPD relationship from when he was 16 to 19 years old. He’s… Read more »
Yareally… You keep on cracking me up. Love the snarky inflection too, though at mid 30’s it is starting to get long in the tooth Ya? 1) WOMEN = WIRED THE SAME. 2) SOCIETY = DIFFERENT. 3) SOCIETY AFFECT PEOPLE. 4) DIFFERENT SOCIETY MEAN WOMEN AFFECTED DIFFERENTLY. Ummm ok… what is the half life of “society”? Is today society or did that stop at some point? Your wife will have significantly less social conditioning from childhood normalizing frivolous divorces and divorce rape. Interesting KJ theory. It will come as a shock to her, since her mother frivorced her father in… Read more »
mods…
“But ya, thanks for posting RSD’s advertisement and showing off Papa’s house? lol” Yeah the same one Tyler said was his in the other video. LOL Look I know you are the #1 RSD fanboy… and I have zero against them at all and do enjoy most of their videos, so don’t try and make this into something you think it is. Just a fact that Kho has done a shit ton of heavy lifting behind the scenes to make RSD a viable business… and wasn’t he a lot of the money for Project Hollywood to begin with? Point being… Read more »
@YaReally, watched Roosh’s game & travel video. All his “indirect game” jargoneering sounds almost word for word what Paul Elam was telling him in the interview he did with Roosh. Too many crazies to risk anything but being indirect, need plausible deniability, etc. all cop outs for non-interaction when the truth is he’s been with some (likely single mother) woman exclusively for over a year and he is either unable or unwilling to interact with women because of it. You’re right, he’s trying to scrape together whatever he can of (what’s left of) his former credibility in preparation for going… Read more »
@Sentient “Love the snarky inflection too, though at mid 30’s it is starting to get long in the tooth Ya?” It’s definitely getting old, it would be a lot easier if you were able to keep up with simple logic. “Ummm ok… what is the half life of “society”? Is today society or did that stop at some point?” Pre-Internet and pre-social media is a lot different than post, as I’ve said repeatedly before. “It will come as a shock to her, since her mother frivorced her father in 1978, when she was 10.” Does “less common/encouraged” = “never happens”… Read more »
@Rollo “All his “indirect game” jargoneering sounds almost word for word what Paul Elam was telling him in the interview he did with Roosh. Too many crazies to risk anything but being indirect, need plausible deniability, etc.” I actually don’t entirely disagree with him. Like, those are legitimately things to consider in 2016 (running hardcore escalating direct sexual game in your office is a lot riskier than running indirect game for a blatant example…you’re not going to end up slandered on social media for a girl being attracted to you and chasing you VS you aggressively running direct sexual game… Read more »
@ YaReally and everyone interested: You probably know this already but someone upped a super oldschool Mystery workshop from 2002 on Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VW-h6cvWNhY
Notice young Tyler and Papa in the audience pre The Game, pre RSD and pretty much pre everything. This is some solid Pick-Up history right there!
If you think a business can flourish into a million-dollar company without good marketing, I dunno what to say lol Actually IRL I’ve founded and run two… if you have value you don’t need much marketing or any good marketing. Just saying. But this is just a general business lesson. I could care less what RSD is doing or who is paying them. I mean, what’s the point of your tangent exactly? It sounds like you’re just trying to discredit Tyler’s work for some reason. Are you just taking pot-shots at anything you can reach for because you’ve run out… Read more »
@Sentient “Actually IRL I’ve founded and run two… if you have value you don’t need much marketing or any good marketing. Just saying” lol what even is this you’re writing? Are you having a dick-measuring contest with RSD now? “oh, you had to MARKET, did you? That’s funny, MY products are simply superior so I didn’t have to do any of THAT” lol Like what are you even posting right now with this whole tangent? Or is this all just to distract from your flawed charts and all the questions you won’t answer etc so you can ask me the… Read more »
@Ya Really: As long as it appears to be the snarking hour: “Same thing, no idea what you’re talking about. I haven’t talked about 60yo single guys being alpha macking hotties.” I guess that would be me. Too many damned 40 year olds think they’re in my league though, and try macking on me. It can get annoying. “There’s a reason that male teacher won’t touch the girl punching him.” I hear tell all he has to do is avoid her by slinking around the baseboard, keeping his head down and his mouth shut. Not like back in the day,… Read more »
@ Sentient and YaReally ( kind of. We’ve already had this talk..lol ) Sentient I think your suffering from the same thing that I was before actually listening to Ya’s pov and then just looking around and observing. Thing is, we mostly hang out with guys that are pretty much like us. I know that most of my married friends are red pillish guys that approach marriage in an old school fashion. Then there is this guy in my circle that is in his early 20’s. Lol, his internals are fucked regarding marriage. His experience will be nothing like ours.… Read more »
Rollo
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/d-brief/2016/08/02/a-darwinian-perspective-of-the-female-orgasm/?utm_source=SilverpopMailing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=News0_DSC_160804_000000_6MONTHopens_Final%20A&utm_content=&spMailingID=26158862&spUserID=MTU2MTE3MTQ1MjA2S0&spJobID=860864760&spReportId=ODYwODY0NzYwS0
@culum You’re just spinning wheels with “do x approaches”. If you can already do that pretty well, opening that is, then you need to move on to the next thing, like doing # closes or whatever. Having a set number of x is really only good for something new. Like if you’ve never been to a bar, say you’ll swing by 5 and spend at least 5 minutes in each one. But once you do that a few nights, you’ve progressed. So you need to start lifting heavier weights. Lift 25 until that gets easy, then 30, then 35. All… Read more »
Here, moar supplies for everyone
http://cdn1.pri.org/sites/default/files/styles/story_main/public/photos/2014-June/china_desertification_ningxia.jpg
You could sell shit clothes, but if you could convince people they’re bad asses if they wear it, they wil buy it. By contrast, you can have the best clothes in the world, but if you don’t build a brand around it no one will care.
Oh Hank…. having the best “X” de facto becomes a brand…
Blax The playing field is now a minefield. Guys like us, we build cocoons around us and block out the noise. But if you really want to see some shit, just start looking outside of our world and pay closer attention. I know It’s been massively educational for me. You what is the most psychologically damaging about a minefield? The signs, not the mines. The signs place broad expanses off limits and slow going far greater than areas covered with mines. Please don’t you too try the tired “look outside”… LOL Like i’ve said countless times, I have 4 daughters…… Read more »
@sentient @PUA A little lesson on branding here for you — that’s also about being high value in game. In blind taste tests, pepsi beats coke. Based purely on the taste of the two products, pepsi is the best. And yet, when people can see what they are drinking, people choose coke. And that is reflected in the sales. Coke owns twice the market share of pepsi. Why? Coke is the stronger brand. People have all sorts of nostalgia and feelings of fun times tied up in coke, that they don’t have in pepsi. Add to that fact that coke… Read more »
“The cars that are rated highest are rarely the best sellers. They aren’t big brands.”
In terms of reliability, of cars available in America, Kia is in the top 10. Globally, Daihatsu is tops, but they can’t can’t even sell them outside of Japan.
Mercedes is out of the top 20 in America and out of the top 30 globally.
Jeff Spicoli – A Surfer’s Dream https://youtu.be/sKrpl-KBTzQ?list=PLZbXA4lyCtqrLv4B8KGYFYDrlVzmGQpCI The penny has dropped. I’m finally beginning to get it now. Alpha is a mindset and a way of looking at the world and saying “hey bud, let’s party!” And now for another Sandman video…………”Hi everyone, Sandman here. Today’s video is brought to you by a donation from Colbert and here is what Colbert has to say.” Hello Sandman, work through your bitterness and accept the fact that women’s hindbrains want the alpha and not the beta – so get over it or stay beta. And……….that’s all that I have to say. “Well… Read more »
@hank
Isn’t it essential for Coke marketing to know its audience?
Like it would be stupid of them to have a commercial that said “COKE is a BEVERAGE that you DRINK”, correct?
“And now for another Sandman video……”
Oh, shit, that’s not the right video! Oh well, have to run off to work.
@culum @yareally @forge @habd so made some progress in the first time in a while lol. Working on opening everyone I can. Went to sub shop. Was about ready to leave. Dude and ugly chick (both workers) lounging about. No one else was there. “Is is always this slow?” “Yeah it gets this way.” “At least you guys get to watch TV the whole time. When it gets slow at my work I don’t have a TV. Would be a little better if we could like drink a beer or someshit at work.” “You know, we actually could do that… Read more »
“just hard to do this stuff in the moment when you are paranoid about other people”
Most people don’t care. The ones that care aren’t the sort of people you want to care about.
It’s hilarious how Sentient and Yareally find new ways to agree with themselves in so many words with so much snark. This is how I’ve been reading this argument The problem: How do you make marriage work in 2016? Sentient has a solution. He says that all you need to make a marriage work is to be Alpha. AWALT. No matter what happens in society, women will always respond the same way to Alpha. His marriage isn’t special, he hasn’t found a unicorn. He’s just applying red pill theory properly and that’s why his marriage works. Yareally agrees. He just… Read more »