Mansplaining

About three years ago I published a post called Remove the Man. That essay was prompted by Washington state Governor Jay Inslee signing on the final installment of a six-year effort to make language in the state’s copious laws gender-neutral.

“It brings us to modern times, to contemporary times, why should we have in statute anything that could be viewed as biased or stereotypical or reflecting any discrimination?”

That was 2013. I’d encourage readers to go over this article again as a frame of reference, but the gist of the idea then was revealing the efforts being made by the Feminine Imperative to remove men (literally and figuratively) not only from the common language but to remove men from defining masculinity altogether. I touched on this as well in VulnerabilityIn seizing a monopoly on our very language women are free to redefine not just words but the ideas that those words connote.

“But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.” – George Orwell, 1984

It’s an easy jump to associate this word-thought monopolization with political and social justice agendas, and I’m sure there are many examples of it in practice. And while I’ll leave that discussion to other blogs, I do think it’s important in the scope of this blog’s mandate to address how maleness is (and has been) decoupled from masculinity – certainly conventional masculinity – and the redefinition of the concept of masculinity has been surrendered to the feminine in a similar fashion that Hypergamy has been given free reign in society.

In other words, in a feminine-centric social order, men, by and large, have willingly acquiesced the defining power of how they will communicate to the sensibilities of women.

From Remove the Man:

Volumes have been written in the manopshere about how feminine-primary government assumes the masculine providership role in modern relationships, thus freeing an already unhindered hypergamy even more so, but the effort to remove the Man goes far beyond this obvious institution. The fundamental restructuring of gender reference in our very language – as illustrated by the Washington state legislature – attempts to, literally, remove the Man from the equation.

[…]the same social tool has been used by the Feminine Imperative for the past 60 years; inspire self-doubt in male-specific masculinity. By making compliance with the Feminine Imperative a qualification of masculinity, men assign the power to define masculinity to the Feminine Imperative.

[…]For the Feminine Imperative to sustain itself men can never be trusted with masculinity, solution: remove men from being the definers of masculinity and apportion them only enough authority of it that would benefit the Feminine Imperative as necessary.

Control the language and you control the concept. Control the concept, and what is acceptable and what is not about it, and you control the thought before it forms. As I’ve argued in the past, the end state of the Feminine Imperative’s consolidation of social control isn’t the complete elimination of masculinity, but rather that it conveniently conforms to the needs of the imperative as best suits it.

‘Masculinity’ when shame for a lack of performance in desired acts, protection and provisioning are necessary, ‘Misogyny’ when the threat of feminine-primary control is implied in men’s self-esteem, affirmation or reward are attributed to maleness.

From Vulnerability:

For the greater part of men’s upbringing and socialization they are taught that a conventional masculine identity is in fact a fundamentally male weakness that only women have a unique ‘cure’ for. It’s a widely accepted manosphere fact that over the past 60 or so years, conventional masculinity has become a point of ridicule, an anachronism, and every media form from then to now has made a concerted effort to parody and disqualify that masculinity. Men are portrayed as buffoons for attempting to accomplish female-specific roles, but also as “ridiculous men” for playing the conventional ‘macho’ role of masculinity. In both instances, the problems their inadequate maleness creates are only solved by the application of uniquely female talents and intuition.

Perhaps more damaging though is the effort the Feminine Imperative has made in convincing generations of men that masculinity and its expressions (of any kind) is an act, a front, not the real man behind the mask of masculinity that’s already been predetermined by his feminine-primary upbringing.

Women who lack any living experience of the male condition have the calculated temerity to define for men what they should consider manhood – from a feminine-primary context. This is why men’s preconception of vulnerability being a sign of strength is fundamentally flawed. Their concept of vulnerability stems from a feminine pretext.

I’m beginning with this today because it’s necessary to underline the latent purposes behind the cutesy jingoisms the Feminine Imperative likes to use when it finds it necessary to reign in the ‘word-thought’ of men. One of these is the term “Mansplaining.”

I led off with the video of Senator Gallagher being called to the carpet for using ‘Mansplaining’ as her go-to rationale because it illustrates how the jingoism of the imperative is expected to work with men already cowed by a Blue Pill conditioning. She literally expects everyone present to understand what Mansplaining is.

Side note: I also find it ironic that the word “Mansplaining” is not flagged with a red underline by autocorrect as I type this. Womansplaining however, is. It’s kind of spooky how readily the language monopoly of the Feminine Imperative is integrated into our popular consciousness via communications technologies and social media. How quick? Have a look at how ‘Mansplaining’ trends on Google.

Even more ironic is the fact that the common definition of what constitutes ‘mansplaining’ is still up for grabs. According to Wikipedia:

Mansplaining covers a heterogeneous mix of mannerisms in which a speaker’s reduced respect for the stance of a listener, or a person being discussed, appears to have little reason behind it other than the speaker’s assumption that the listener or subject, being female, does not have the same capacity to understand as a man. It also covers situations in which it appears a person is using a conversation primarily for the purpose of self-aggrandizement — holding forth to a female listener, presumed to be less capable, in order to appear knowledgeable by comparison.

Solnit’s original essay went further, discussing the consequences of this gendered behavior and drawing attention to its effect in creating a conspiracy of silence and disempowerment. Solnit later published Men Explain Things To Me, a collection of seven essays on similar themes. Women, including professionals and experts, are routinely seen or treated as less credible than men, she wrote in the title essay, and their insights or even legal testimony are dismissed unless validated by a man. She argued that this was one symptom of a widespread phenomenon that “keeps women from speaking up and from being heard when they dare; that crushes young women into silence by indicating, the way harassment on the street does, that this is not their world. It trains us in self-doubt and self-limitation just as it exercises men’s unsupported overconfidence.”

Mansplaining differs somewhat from other forms of condescension in that it is specifically gender-related, rooted in a sexist assumption that a man will normally be more knowledgeable, or more capable of understanding, than a woman.

Google cuts to the meat of it for simplicity:

mansplain

Others argue that any information a man relates in a male way of explaining it (i.e. a longwinded description of informational content). Julia Baird’s offering is particularly egregious, citing the amount of lines women get in proportion to those of men in the movies:

The problem is global and endemic across all media. Female characters speak lessin Disney films today than they used to — even princesses get a minority of the speaking lines in films in which they’re the principal: In the 2013 animated movie “Frozen,” for example, male characters get 59 percent of the lines. A quick search for best monologues in film or movies reveals that they are almost all male. If you took Princess Leia out of “Star Wars,” the total speaking time for female characters is 63 seconds out of the original trilogy’s 386 minutes.

This, of course, is in stark contrast to the studies that show women spend more time on their cell phones and text more often than men. Women also use emoticons more often than men, yet men have more variety in emoticon usage. That may seem trivial, but it’s an important aspect to consider in comparing men and women’s preferred intents of communication. Then there are the studies that show women actually do talk more than men – 13,000 words a day.

It’s also important to consider that women dominate the vast majority of social media, unless that social media happens to be something work related like LinkedIn. This is an important distinction to make when we consider how men and women prefer to communicate.

From The Medium is the Message:

We get frustrated because women communicate differently than we do. Women communicate covertly, men communicate overtly. Men convey information, women convey feeling. Men prioritize content, women prioritize context. One of the great obfuscations fostered by feminization in the last quarter-century is this expectation that women are every bit as rational and inclined to analytical problem solving as men. It’s result of an equalist mentality that misguides men into believing that women communicate no differently than men. That’s not to discount women as problem solvers in their own right, but it flies in the face how women set about a specifically feminine form of communication. Scientific study after study illustrating the natural capacity women have for exceptionally complex forms of communication (to the point of proving their neural pathways are wired differently) are proudly waved in by a feminized media as proof of women’s innate merits, yet as men, we’re expected to accept that she “means what she says, and she says what she means.” While more than a few women like to wear this as a badge of some kind of superiority, it doesn’t necessarily mean that what they communicate is more important, or how they communicate it is more efficient, just that they have a greater capacity to understand nuances of communication better than do men. One of the easiest illustrations of this generational gender switch is to observe the communication methods of the “strong” women the media portray in popular fiction today. How do we know she’s a strong woman? The first cue is she communicates in an overt, information centered, masculine manner.

It should come as no surprise to most men in the manosphere that men and women have different means and different priorities in communications. I published that post almost five years ago, but even then I knew that a social order founded on feminine primacy was going to standardize its own way of communicating as the correct way. The ostensible reasoning is that, from a desire for gender parity in society, men must abandon their blunt, artless and simplistic, yet overbearing and egotistic way of communication and adopt women’s more meaningful, emotive and insightful covert way.

Of course, it’s men who see this ruse for what it is and either refuse to capitulate or simply don’t realize they’re supposed to talk like women who set themselves apart from the throngs of Blue Pill men conditioned to identify with the female experience (as a means to become intimate with them). I forget where I read it, but some one said a PUA is a man who pretends he has what a woman pretends she does not want. I may not agree with that in whole, but it certainly describes the social condition that’s been established by the Feminine Imperative over the course of four generations.

When we’re presented with easily digestible terms like Mansplaining, no matter how loosely defined, and it filters into the popular consciousness and lexicon so rapidly, what we’re witnessing is the ease with which the Feminine Imperative expects men to cede to it.

When a woman attempts to cow a man by saying he’s Mansplaining something to her she’s reached a point at which she prefers that man, any man, speak to her as a woman would. In base terms, she shames him for not opting to communicate as a woman would from the outset. He should know better.

The fem-splaining cover story is that men feel some ego-centric need to over-explain something to a woman. For a Blue Pill conditioned man this may even be accurate in that they hope so doing will endear himself to a “rational reasonable” woman by helping her understand a concept he’s educated on. What we’re really looking at is a struggle to control which gender-communication will take precedence. In a feminine primary social order, men’s means of communicating is offensive to women by default. The presumption is that men are being condescending to women by expecting them to communicate as men do, and especially within the political and working spheres.

As women push their way into male spaces, part of assimilating those spaces is to re-standardize how men will appropriately communicate within them. The conflict comes from the expectation on the part of men that women will respect the nature of station she’s been empowered to and be able to weather criticism and reproach as men have always done in those stations. The fallacy is the equalist belief that women will be equal agents while holding the same roles as men; the reality is what we see in the video above today.

So the solution, as always, is to remove the man, remove the masculine influence, change the language and the definitions, to remake the nature of the engagement if not the actual real-world factors that make the game or the politic or the business what it is – to silence the man by telling him to “just shut the hell up” or be tarred with the epithet of being a ‘typical man’.

The content of the communication is of less importance to women than how that communication makes them feel. We see this in no uncertain terms the more women become part of the socio-political/business spheres. When a man needs to explain the importance of content to a woman who is only qualified for her station by virtue of her being female that exchange necessarily is uncomfortable for women. Solution: complain about the delivery of the content and silence the men who would deliver it.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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walawala
walawala
6 years ago

@Roy Hobbs. Your friend is being cucked. The fact he’s with a single mom and serious about her when she has this much baggage smacks of a scarcity and white knight mentality on his behalf.

We’ve talked a lot and there have been posts about how to “help” a friend in that Situation.

Your mind rationalises the situation: separate rooms …blah blah blah.

But come on. This is the plot of Daddy’s Home where alpha dad comes back to win his family back from beta father.

Trust your gut. This is total disrespect on her part.

redlight
redlight
6 years ago

the very act of having The Talk is a negotiation of desire

it’s too bad this can’t be pinned at the top of r/DeadBedrooms (the latest well-liked post had a wife who decided to have resume having lots of sex with her husband, and after she told him why, to be nice, he cried like a baby), and is actually worth a complete book, but, hey, why write another book when you can debate attention whores

hoellenhund2
6 years ago

“Ask yourself: what is the surest way to end up with a serious ailment like diabetes by the time you’re 50? I’ll tell you: by pushing yourself to turn into a responsible, hard-working husband and father supporting a family” I’m honestly wondering how you square this with the prolific data that shows married men are healthier and live longer than unmarried men. That “prolific data” is either outdated in the current mating market, or it’s simple manipulation and propaganda. Their data usually counts divorced men, who usually have terrible health problems, as “unmarried men”. That fits the dictionary definition of… Read more »

hoellenhund2
6 years ago

I’m pro-marriage because I see stable family units headed by a married mother and father as the only real basis for a sustainably sexually dymorphic society (masculine men and feminine women can only be produced through securely attached relationships with feminine mothers, and women can only retain their femininity past their teens/early twenties in a sexually restrictive culture)

Yeah, great. How does it logically follow that the average Western man in 2016 will have better health prospects if he marries? Yeah, it doesn’t.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

Rollo: “the very act of having The Talk is a negotiation of desire. The medium is the message.” @Softek: Read what Rollo wrote – then read it again, and again. Then consider this: I have had girlfriends since the first grade and I have never had The Talk(tm). I have gotten married without having a “Talk.” Without even a proposal as such is normally understood. All communication up to the point of setting a specific date was handled in a woman’s natural, covert way. When a woman abandons her normal covert communication for overt negotiation she is not being merely… Read more »

IAS
IAS
6 years ago

@hoellenhund2: from stories like “Saving the best”, unmarried sex is also generally more exciting and pleasurable than married sex for women.

https://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/

@Trent: thanks for sharing. If things in my life had gone differently, I think I could have been that guy (thankfully I didn’t get too close to it).

@Rollo: and also thank you Rollo, as your writing was instrumental in managing my feelings for a residual One-itis of mine that I had for someone else (not my wife).

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Sentient Step 1 is literally finding a place to go where women are. I don’t know any bars in the area, or clubs, or anything. I just texted my friend asking him if he wanted to go to a popular bar in the area, as he told me he recently went there and it was awesome. Lots of young people. I remember trying to ‘go out’ one night and saw a bar, and figured hey, let’s give it a try, thinking there would be a ton of girls there. I got there and there were like 5 people, and… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

@Softek: “One thing I need to seriously consider is fixing my guitar and then looking out for open mic gigs in college towns.”

Now yer talkin’. The next step is to stop talkin’ and, ya know, do it.

Roy Hobbs
Roy Hobbs
6 years ago

@ wala 10:59pm Thanks- I completely agree with you… I specifically used the term “disrespect” (a lot) while we were talking. He gets it- as well as the likely cucking – although I didn’t poke that too much and he is rationalizing anyway. What I’m looking for is good RP delivery/timing (now seems relatively good as his anger/sadness are motivators)/technique… One that opens the door & gives him the option to swallow the pill- but doesn’t crush him. I do NOT want to fuck this up and hear later he puts a gun in his mouth. At my low, I… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Rollo Thanks for reminding me of that simple truth. I have not once negotiated for desire from her. That’s been a huge plus for me, and a complete about-face from my earlier terminal Betahood. I wonder why I couldn’t bang all these girls back in high school, and it was because I relied on negotiated desire/Beta Game, saying shit timidly like “Are you interested in me?” and thinking I could win women over by doing favors for them and shit like that. Now this current girl started with Genuine Desire. And it still FEELS genuine to me, because despite… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

@Roy:

If you are in a position to do so, I would give him the bound books. Books have this way of being “always on,” and presenting continuing stimulus – and they lead to the website.

Then you’ll have to wait for him to make the next move. Triage I’m afraid. We try to save as many as we can, but we not only can’t save them all, we can only save a minority.

On the other hand, the more we save, the more we can save. There is a multiplier effect.

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ kfg How do you have a “girlfriend” without verbally declaring it? Tremendous post, by the way. Concise but has completely opened my mind to a different way of relationships working. This is basically what happened with the girl I’ve been seeing. People just naturally started calling her my girlfriend, or asking how the girlfriend was doing, etc. I ignored her whenever she asked me why I didn’t want to be her boyfriend, except for one time when she said “Is it because you wouldn’t be able to have sex with other girls,” and I said “Yeah, pretty much.” That… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

@Softek: “The ironic part is when she’s NOT like this, the relationship has been great, she’s pleasant to be around, and caters to me.”

Push/pull, push/pull, push/pull.

Only with a BPD it gets all turned around:

I love you, go away. I hate you, come here.

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

My question is: What does Negotiated Desire mean for a relationship when a woman has resorted to it? They’re powerless, yes, they feel helpless, yes. But what does this mean for their perception of the man they’re trying to Negotiate for? Have they lost respect for him? What is Negotiated Desire, on the woman’s part, indicative of in the relationship? Is it a sign of a failed relationship? I don’t have any other experience, so my base assumption is that ALL WOMEN will push for commitment eventually, and want to pressure you into it, and ‘make things official.’ What does… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

Let me clarify quick: What I just said doesn’t mean that I am going to stay with her, and more than ever right now, after last night, I’m feeling like things are coming much closer to an end. Which includes her just calling me right now, and I didn’t pick up the phone. Going out and playing some gigs somewhere sounds fun. The idea of hooking up with women after doing that sounds even more fun. As a side note: one of my friends said his best luck was actually going out to see other bands. He had a great… Read more »

theasdgamer
6 years ago

@ LeeLee

Granted, much of what I’ve read here and in the manosphere in general has convinced me that marriage carries the risk of the death of the male spirit,

It’s stuff like this that makes me fond of you. Well done. To the point, depression leads to lots of health problems due to associated lack of sleep and overeating.

Lisa
Lisa
6 years ago

RT writes: I don’t have any stats, but I’d wager that divorced men statistically make more money than never-married men as well – again, by necessity to pay child/spousal support. >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Married men almost always make more money than unmarried men because of the unwritten corporate rule to always promote the married male before the bachelor. This is done because the married man is more easily manipulated and will be more compliant; he has not only himself to worry about…but also his wife & kids. The unmarried man is considered a more risky candidate for promotion; he has no one… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Rollo Would you ever do a review of Sex at Dawn? I’ve seen you mention it once, in your “Open Cuckoldry” post. But I’d be curious to know more of your thoughts on it. I’ve been reading it and I have to say it seems to make some pretty convincing arguments, and at the very least has opened my mind up and given me a lot to think about. @ LeeLee “Granted, much of what I’ve read here and in the manosphere in general has convinced me that marriage carries the risk of the death of the male spirit,”… Read more »

Lisa
Lisa
6 years ago

A similar dynamic is observed with the electorate. No bachelors have been elected to the U.S. presidency since the enactment of the 19th Amendment. A married man is still under the control of his wife and is likely to chart a predictable, “safe” course…an unmarried man might sense his agency and impose it on his nation.

LeeLee
6 years ago

@IAS I like your theory about the mental health thing. Though I still wonder about why studies show a higher benefit for men than women. Do men choose less physically and mentally healthy women? I guess that would support the idea that women are more hypergamous.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

@Softek: “How do you have a “girlfriend” without verbally declaring it?” How do you have a guitar without verbally declaring it? It is what it is. A certain arrangement of dead tree is, de facto, a guitar. Some other arrangement of the same dead tree would be something else. A chair, or a boat, or whatever. Boyfriend/Girlfriend is a set of behaviours. If you exhibit those behaviours, you are, de facto, a “couple.” And there is no woman on Earth who doesn’t know when this de facto state exists. Any girl who can’t do this by the time she is… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Lee I’ve also read studies that say men benefit more from sleeping next to their partner than women do, and that women have more sleep disturbances vs. sleeping alone. Maybe men have higher mental health in marriage than women when their women are Hypergamously unsatisfied, yet the men are (currently) unaware of it. If you asked me if I was much happier now than last year, even with the mentally unhealthy girl I’ve been seeing, I’d say “Yes.” There are a lot of benefits to regular sex and affection, particularly when the sex and affection is born of Genuine… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ kfg Thank you for the expert analysis. Makes perfect sense. A point of contention is she always refers to me to other people as “her friend,” and has told me she won’t tell anyone I’m her “boyfriend” because she doesn’t want me to get upset with her. “What she is after is being able to use overt coercion, force, to bend you to her will. She is after your submission.” Reminds me of an old song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxHk3rOeG1A “No good pretending, girl You were for spending The rest of your days round my neck Well I’m not that strong And… Read more »

LeeLee
6 years ago

@hoellenhund2, Rollo, et al – I understand what you’re saying about data being manipulable, social science can be about achieving certain aims anyways and studies can be conflicting. But hoellen, you’re basically saying that marriage causes health problems and I think if that were true I think that would at least have a neutral affect on the data. If women are choosing mentally and emotionally fit men and then generally tearing them down, that would be something we’d be able to track and to see in these studies. But we don’t. It’s smart to take studies with a grain of… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

You always think women like Lisa look like this…

http://blog.hippiecouture.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Hippie_girl_needs_top.jpg

But they always look like this…

comment image

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“Exposing the old lies told by the priest,”
With lies of her own, the lies of a beast.

“As Persephone You’ve haunted my dreams”

Tell me about it. I named a car Persephone once. Big mistake. Big. Huge. It only ran when the weather was nice and I didn’t need it.

leeleeinbabylon
leeleeinbabylon
6 years ago

I’m really hungry right now and I’m thinking outwardly so I don’t know if I brought all that around to a coherent point:

What I’m trying to say is, engaging in the life process of successfully passing on your DNA can feel bad, but not because something bad is happening to you.

Being yoked to a harpy feels bad, because something bad is happening to you.

And it’s worth it to make a distinction between those two things.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

” . . . suppression of all that is natural and beautiful…replaced with lying, hypocrisy, and situational “ethics”…with the situation being utterly fluid and dependent on nothing more than the whims of transient groups . . .”

Yeah, well, ya know what they say, “Women ruin everything.”

And their projector bulbs are so hot they burn the film even while it’s running.

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Softy “Step 1 is literally finding a place to go where women are. I don’t know any bars in the area, or clubs, or anything. I just texted my friend asking him if he wanted to go to a popular bar in the area, as he told me he recently went there and it was awesome. Lots of young people</b?." The fuck? You don't know anyplace EXCEPT the popular bar in the area that people tell you is awesome? Do you even read what you are writing or is all just a puddle of feelz? Step 1 is getting off… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Lisa – so my estimate was accurate then… Carry on Earth Mother… worship the Cock!

http://www.ruralramblings.com/wp-content/uploads/Large%20Rooster.jpg

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

Lisza is another bot.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

” The 20th century was the bloodiest of them all . . .”

Yeah, trying the women’s, non-hierarchical, collectivist way of conducting agriculture starved at least a 100 million in just a few decades.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

” . . . how can I tell you that Mr Scribbleberg is . . .”

By changing your name. Duh!

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Sentient

Buffers. It’s easier for me to convince myself I don’t know where any places to go are because then I don’t have to go there.

That being said, I do need to do some research, because that one bar is the only place I’ve heard of. The best way would probably be to actually go there and ask people there where other good places to go are, lol.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“The best way would probably be to actually go there and ask people there where other good places to go are, lol.”

Or just look in the free local arts rag for open mics.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“I did not realize that Stalin, Lenin, Marx & Mao Tse Tung were girls.”

At the point you start responding with mechanical predictability to the stimuli I feed you, you stop being fun.

Roy Hobbs
Roy Hobbs
6 years ago

kfg- I like the books thought- thanks…

Wild-then-Bot … pattern repeating?

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

Found a picture of “Lisa” http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/starfox/images/8/8b/Rob.jpg/revision/20080227061616 “Women” posting here has turned into a Turing Test more than anything else. I’m sure LeeLee is real, but I still had to go back and read some of her stuff so I could make sure there weren’t any *beeps* or *404 error* or bits of coding hiding anywhere. Notice how she doesn’t have any pictures up where we can see her back. She could be hiding a 9V battery cover or some kind of sophisticated cold fusion power supply back there or something. Part of my approach anxiety is after being on RM… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”

RIP Ali.

redlight
redlight
6 years ago

sadly Rollo deleted all the examples of botsplaining, free speech ain’t free for bots but at least I know my sexbot needs a mute setting

Bachelorocles
Bachelorocles
6 years ago

According to the Feminine Imperative, man / masculine = a good worker who can endure mind numbing, endless work and competition to support her biological imperative so she and her brood may live easy lives of leisure.

redlight
redlight
6 years ago

According to the Feminine Imperative, man / masculine = a good worker who can endure mind numbing, endless work and competition to support her biological imperative so she and her brood may live easy lives of leisure. Rollo has sort of discussed this idea of dual needs. The above is one, and for sake of argument let’s call it beta. Now we also have: According to the Feminine Imperative, alpha masculine = a good seducer who can endure penis numbing, endless sex and sperm competition to support her biological imperative so she can have many orgasms and possibly a brood… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

Re: Sentient – THIS so much THIS. “Not really. If the only truth to a woman is emotion, and emotion is always in the moment, there is precious little she is saying that is more than in the moment blather… The mistake guys make all the time is believing the sweet burblings have anything behind them… know there is really no there there at the end of the day…” @Softie – Lol, beating you up would do no good. You’d think you deserved it and even if it did clear your head for a second, everything would come rushing back.… Read more »

YaReally
6 years ago

@kfg @Softek Quoting all of this so it’s in my archives because this is one of the most concise/solid breakdowns of how this works that I’ve seen, props kfg: “How do you have a guitar without verbally declaring it? It is what it is. A certain arrangement of dead tree is, de facto, a guitar. Some other arrangement of the same dead tree would be something else. A chair, or a boat, or whatever. Boyfriend/Girlfriend is a set of behaviours. If you exhibit those behaviours, you are, de facto, a “couple.” And there is no woman on Earth who doesn’t… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

Floored at all the advice. This is Grade A stuff and I feel extremely fortunate to have access to all this. @ scrib “Ask yourself this? What do you want out of her? Why are you with her? How do you want the relationship to be? How do you want your life to be? How do you want her to fit into your life? Proceed accordingly and accept nothing less.” Honest answer to those questions: I’m a recovering sex/affection starved incel, and this relationship is like being on dialysis, and she’s the nurse. Because I’m still in survival mode, I’m… Read more »

hoellenhund2
6 years ago

Roissy reviewed “Sex at Dawn” back in 2010:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/08/25/sex-at-dusk/

Apparently it has a matriarchal-feminist narrative that doesn’t seem terribly convincing.

hoellenhund2
6 years ago

SO I know exactly what you are talking about with the serum testosterone levels declining in men after marriage, and then even more after the birth of their first child. I’ve read and thought about it a lot. It’s really bothered me, because I like marriage but I dislike anything that reduces life’s sexiness. The conclusion I ultimately came to in my own mind is that sex hormones, like the rest of our bodies, are tools of creativity and production, and tools inevitably will be tarnished as they used. Maybe that’s the feminine imperative talking – I’d like to think… Read more »

hoellenhund2
6 years ago

But hoellen, you’re basically saying that marriage causes health problems Not exactly. My point is that the average young single man in 2016 is likely to endanger his own health if he wants to prepare himself for the role of the average married man, which is that of a beta provider. He’ll be expected to create as much economic surplus as possible, to get into debt by buying a comfy house and a minivan, even if he doesn’t need either for himself, to work 80-100 hours a week, to present himself as dependable, loyal, patient etc. This is immensely stressful,… Read more »

hoellenhund2
6 years ago

I believe everyone here that marriage is less optimal on an individual level than staying single and having sex with a lot of different girls. If having the highest level of testosterone possible and the best sex possible is the goal of life, then yeah, that makes sense.

It depends on many factors. If, say, an upper-class, sexually successful man wants a family, and wants to preserve his social status, marriage probably makes sense for him. But that doesn’t mean marriage makes sense for the majority of single men.

theasdgamer
6 years ago

@ Softek Honest answer to those questions: I’m a recovering sex/affection starved incel, and this relationship is like being on dialysis, and she’s the nurse. This is just Hamsterization. The reality is that you’re a junkie and she’s your fix. Ask me how I know, lol. As to the girl availability thing…you can find girls out on the streets in the trendy district on Sat. about 10 pm. For example, last night I was out dancing in the trendy district of my city (not my country western bar). Lots of groups of people were out…both mixed groups of men and… Read more »

Roused
Roused
6 years ago

@Softek, Dude, Sentient and Scribbler are so fucking right about what they are sharing with you. You’re making you’re own excuses for not changing your life. Stop being a victim and be a man. I don’t mean that to be dickish, but buck up buttercup and get the fuck outside. Perhaps take a break from the keyboard and go do some shit with male friends. Go to a ball game, hike, hit up a hookah bar, walk around a college campus, the beach or stroll around where there are young hotties to look at. I spent all yesterday working in… Read more »

redlight
redlight
6 years ago

The FI of course is also not happy when mansplaining doesn’t happen when it should:

I had asked him something about the offensive end, and he said “turnovers,” one word. Then I asked him about, “OK, on the defensive end, you held them to whatever percentage. What did you see that you liked on that end?” And he said “turnovers” again.

Two words. I was devastated. It was brutal. It was absolutely brutal. I was almost in tears.

http://nba.nbcsports.com/2014/05/30/gregg-popovich-nearly-made-doris-burke-cry-with-turnovers-turnovers-interview/

scray
scray
6 years ago

@ya@all ‘That’s part of why most guys learning game don’t just go to a hooker. It’s not just about the sex itself, it’s about feeling a woman legitimately have passion/desire for you.’ right. i’d even go further so as to say it’s about realizing that you can give value, as you, the individual, to other people. that you personally have worth that you can share. ‘I’m sure there are some happily married guys out there, specifically the Red Pill ones or the Blue Pill ones who are just happy in their ignorance and fluking their way through keeping their marriage… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ YaReally Thanks for sharing that video on marriage. My dad is big on the self-sacrifice thing and even told me with my ‘GF’ that ‘you really need to find out how to be nice to her in a different way and help her with her insecurities,’ and ‘self-sacrifice shows that you care,’ and ‘she really is a good girl, you just need to figure out how to take care of her.’ And yet at the same time he has been complaining about work and has said if it wasn’t for my mom and my sister and me he would’ve… Read more »

hank holiday
hank holiday
6 years ago

@scray

“i’d even go further so as to say it’s about realizing that you can give value, as you, the individual, to other people. that you personally have worth that you can share.”

To me, PUA is ultimately about knowing your own value and learning how to help others know their own value.

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

Can’t do an entire FR but attraction is so obvious when it’s there, and when it isn’t. Spent a good amount of time gaming my hair stylist the other day, a cute HB8, early 20s. Attraction was low but interest was high and I just kept stoking and not pressing. Saw her today at the cafe (while I was on a work call so couldn’t talk), she was here with her Dad (my age). When we made eye contact her face flushed and she was nervous, lol, but she walked by my table twice to make sure she got my… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ scrib “attraction is so obvious when it’s there, and when it isn’t.” It is RIGHT THERE. The fruit is ripe for the picking. I’ve had this mentality before. Just need to tap back into it. I’m really happy to see your transformation, scrib, and it inspires guys like me. When I get in a rut feeling like “I’m in my 20’s and my life is over,” I see a post you make and I feel like, what the fuck am I thinking like this for? And it also makes me feel like, “God damn. Sitting in my own shit… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

@Softie – Todd at RSD is doing a series on opening. Here are two really short vids that are good.

Note the entitlement he reeks of in all these approaches.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSIEAVcM0xc&w=560&h=315%5D

A bit more info.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfkg65hGA0c&w=560&h=315%5D

Start.

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

@Softie – Todd’s doing an evening session in Boston on June 13 – it’s 87 bucks. You can drive there in a couple of hours. I know you can afford it. I’d meet you there but I have a business thing that night. Here’s the URL http://www.openingmastery.com – sign up.. Take a step. You’ll also meet a lot of other guys who are in a similar spot to you in terms of wanting to overcome their social shit. I know it won’t be easy for you but it’s definitely doable to sign up and put your ass in a chair… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

@ Sentient ” Betaization is a slow frog boil process, usually related to children, provisioning and the grind of family. You seem to have excelled through all that but somehow decided to boldly go where no man has gone before (and lived to tell about it positively)… So what are you leaving out? Why did YOU push this on her? That is the real story. I will hypothesize Churchian influences, but very curious to see if you can peel some layers back on your choice here.” It’s pretty much as SJF describes. I took an awfully wrong fork in the… Read more »

TheLastCoyote
TheLastCoyote
6 years ago

Went to a megachurch the other day, the subject was sex. This church leans RP in some ways, but goes hard core blue pill in other ways. Pastor cut the regular sermon short to bring a sex therapist on stage to discuss marital intimacy (a Christian sex therapist, of course). It got really hard to listen to her shit. She pretty much gave all the standard blue pill advice for which therapists are famous. You know, ask your partner about what s/he wants, ask what s/he likes or doesn’t like, find other ways to be intimate besides sex, blah blah… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

Just a point of order that came to mind reading Coyote’s comment –

Never, ever ask a female what she want’s or likes or needs sexually.

Never.

Get your sex game up to maximum mind blowing capacity, and then calibrate downward if necessary.

Watch and listen, she’ll let you know what’s golden.

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

@Blax – Also try just pleasing yourself sometimes. The act of letting go of all concern of your partner’s wants and desires can be very liberating and funnily, when I”m concentrated on my lust and my experience, and getting really into it, women tend to go wild. She can masturbate after I’m done if she likes. Not all the time, but I think many guys would benefit from this thought experiment and experience. So many guys have their ego invested in the woman’s experience and satisfaction versus their own. I remember fucking this woman who was going wild and saying… Read more »

Roy Hobbs
Roy Hobbs
6 years ago

Scrib- totally verified on “hide the cookie with the O”

To be honest, it’s another test- smacks a bit of: “is he willing (and capable) to hold out for me…?”

If she is cool, but really wasn’t in the mood, she’d offer the “go ahead… Feels great anyway… Do what you want” program.

Funny thing is: a little bit of do what you want gets her so into it- she forgets whatever the fuck had a grip on the hamster.

Go figure.

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Blax –

“I took an awfully wrong fork in the road. I pushed these things on my ex because I was used to pushing my will. This was just the absolute wrong way to go.”

Come now Blax… think long and hard. This is the $64K question here. You, the paragon of natural RP upbringing, renouncing Churchian influences decide on YOUR OWN to take this fork… because??? Why?

What on earth possessed you to do this? Was “Men Are From Mars” so earth shattering? Did you even read it? Was it the FI?

This is truly fascinating.

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

“But they’re [women] just people who play by a different set of rules then men do: because they can.”

Nope. They play by different rules because they are fundamentally different. They may shade into Man’s turf since the rise in feminism [all of mere decades], but they will always revert to their true nature.

http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/mp/K-SyaO9Fnkel.jpg

In other words, if GI Jane ever does see real combat it will be “EEEEEEK… Spider!!!!” times 1,000,000…

theasdgamer
6 years ago

@Blax @all

Never, ever ask a female what she want’s or likes or needs sexually.

Never.

Cosign. However, a point of clarification is in order. Pay attention to what a woman likes during sex. Listen to her nonverbals. Try stuff and see what causes her to grunt, moan, etc.

Kiss, nibble, bite behind her knees, neck, ears, inner thighs, pussy, ass, back, sides, belly, etc. Pull her hair, spank her playfully and gradually harder if she likes it. Calibrate carefully.

None if this requires asking questions, but it does require paying attention.

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

@ Sentient Lol. Nah, it was just a horrible misstep on my part. This was the early-mid 90’s. I just questioned something about myself and my marriage that I shouldn’t have questioned. Tried to improve something that did not need improving. I don’t recall exactly what the atmosphere was at that time. Maybe I did get tripped up momentarily by some early FI influence. I convinced my wife to get her education completed and I assisted her in any way I could. Then, for reasons I still don’t quite understand the motivating factors, I tried to make her a leader… Read more »

theasdgamer
6 years ago

@scray @Sentient

Women really are wired differently than men in many ways. It’s not just hormonal differences. Men and women have significantly different vision systems and there’s the corpus callosum which is split in most men, but not in most women. Women’s sexual desire can amp up significantly higher than men’s when there’s opportunity for sex with a high status man (e.g., a star college basketball player or the Styx drummer).

theasdgamer
6 years ago

Major miscalculation was in thinking that wife would want a sensitive, caring man.

In the 90’s that shit was everywhere….

Even as far back as the 60’s.

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

@ asd

Yeah, but I managed to just ignore all of that shit for the majority of my life. The notion to ” see what I might be missing ” was a flawed one.

Never. Again.

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

@ Sentient “Did you even read it? Was it the FI?” Hell, you’re the same age. You know what it was like 25 years ago. Fuck yes it was the FI. My contention is that you could scan the landscape of social conventions and take a bearing. Which proved to be wrong because of ignorance of modern day red pill awareness. Social conditioning and ignorance back then. Simply plugged into the Matrix because it seemed the right thing to do. Once again a paradox, if you take a road that you seem to know is the right thing to do,… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

@Roy – Ya, it’s all a part of the ZFG attitude. Of course, sexual prowess and skill with sex and getting your partner off is good, but the if the mindset becomes that sex is a proving ground for your manhood and that her orgasm is the point of sex, well then you have just once again put her on a pedestal and made her the prize. In the process you turn yourself into a blue pill, beta pussy who will serve her first in this most basic of human endeavors. Sometimes, just blowing a load down her throat and… Read more »

Roy Hobbs
Roy Hobbs
6 years ago

No worries- Better written than I could- thanks Scrib

The Man
The Man
6 years ago

Blax, asd – hahaha – it was Oprah man. She fuck’d men’s shit up back then (the fuck’n bitch).

scray
scray
6 years ago

@sentient

The statements are consistent with one another so it’s w/e.

But a huge piece of the cute girl mindset is just abundance….it’s not raw biology.

theasdgamer
6 years ago

@SJF I am never one to not cut the grass often and do it at the correct height and the correct timing. Every thing Zen with the grass. Not me. I let it grow long and there’s reason in my madness. A few years ago there was a summer drought in our area. The neighbors spent lots of money watering their lawns and their lawns still died. Not mine. Mine turned brown like theirs, sure, but next spring they had to spend lots of money reseeding their lawns while mine greened up just fine. Deep roots require long leaves for… Read more »

theasdgamer
6 years ago

@scray

But a huge piece of the cute girl mindset is just abundance….it’s not raw biology.

Sure, but it’s easy to mislead new readers by oversimplifying. For clarity’s sake, it’s essential to stress the differences between men and women…especially to combat the FI’s equalization program. Men and women are created inherently unequal.

theasdgamer
6 years ago

@Blax Blowing up that marriage taught me that I had it all correct in the first place. I had success in wedded bliss. Major miscalculation was in thinking that wife would want a sensitive, caring man. Yeah, cuz you’re only 5% jerk to begin with. When I try to be sensitive and caring, my jerkiness decreases to 50%. [facepalm] It’s part ASD and part lack of training. “Oprah” actually helped me, lol. I NEED more “push”, unlike most men. But if you’re gonna err on one side or the other, too much pull is better than too much push. Good… Read more »

fleezer
fleezer
6 years ago

“Major miscalculation was in thinking that wife would want a sensitive, caring man.” as long as a guy has the frame, he can afford to be anything he wants. My wife would say that I am sensitive and caring. then she’d show you her bruises. the hamster sees what it wants to see. I don’t hold back tears. ever. I do nice shit for her sometimes. because I feel like it. she saw me cry when my dog died. I loved that fucking dog. she saw me cry when her grandma died. sometimes I write her haikus. sometimes I punch… Read more »

becomingamaninmyforties
Reply to  fleezer

@Fleezer

I can only hope your punch comment was in jest and not coming across correctly.

I understand being a man, keeping your frame, but if you have to resort to abuse to do it, you are beyond it, and beyond reasonable behavior. That is not Beta, Blue Pill, Feminism or anything. I would say the same to anyone even when dealing within the same sex. If you have to resort to violence or abuse, you’ve lost.

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

Re: Fleezer – “sometimes I write her haikus. sometimes I punch her for no reason.” I’m not interested in being part of a community where this is okay. Sure, he can write it and not be banned, I get Rollo’s policy of openness but I just want to be clear – this is scumbag behavior. @Fleez – Just be grateful you aren’t married to one of my sisters or a woman I care about, you’d be on the receiving end of what my brother and I call a “blanket job”, bruh…And the rest of you can call that white knighting… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Fleezer – demonstrating however the Authentic part of the Alpha Triad… the Triad is amoral.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

@Scribbler: “. . . the rest of you can call that white knighting or whatever. . . ”

I’ll go with “whatever,” that group of people who believe that violence is wrong, so if you resort to violence I’ll beat the living crap out of you!

Hence certifying that violence is golden.

Whether you realize it or not, you have one foot standing firmly on Progressive ground, and the other standing firmly on Alt-Right ground.

If I were you, I’d wear a cup.

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

@Sentient – Oh, so the Red Pill means being immoral? No, it means having your own morality, and yeah, I’m familiar with the “Dark Triad” – and this is where I part company with the entire idea. This is a bright line and if you PUAs start lecturing me on this just realize you’ll be showing what lowlives you are, not teaching me a fucking thing. But please anyone who subscribes to such low nihilistic morality, demonstrate how alpha you are by punching a guy larger than you who is an MMA fighter randomly – hey, Dark Triad and amorality… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

@KFG – Put your little cape on and go suck a bowl of dicks. I’ve about had it with your pedantic little lectures. There is a huge difference between initiating violence and protecting yourself or weaker people who can’t defend themselves from violence. I never said I was a pacifist, I just think that initiating violence in the case Fleezer cites is sick and lo.

Tell us, oh lord of 70+ plus bike racing and cafe gaming, how many women you’ve beaten recently? I know the answer – Zero.

Shut the fuck up now.

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Scribbs

The Red Pill is amoral… the Alpha Triad [dynamic, passionate & authentic] is likewise amoral. At the bottom it’s all about survival [and replication] and we are still in the trees… that is what is so funny about humans, we think we aren’t but revert to acting like we are in a moment [funny that]. These are hard truths to ponder at times.

[The Dark Triad is a trope of aspiring psychopaths…]

But what if Fleezer’s Unicorn likes being hit? Would that change your knee jerk impulse?

becomingamaninmyforties
Reply to  Sentient

@Sentient

“What if Fleezer’s other likes being hit?”

It does not change my reaction to it. That is likely the abuse I suffered as a child coming back, but there no reason, in my opinion, to ‘turn mr. hand into mr. fist’. She may like it. He may like doing it. Either way, both are not something I would participate in nor support. Sorry, my background and life experience precludes me from hitting. And that goes in the bedroom as well, my wife is frustrated because I won’t spank her. Too bad.

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

And I’m out for the remainder of this thread. @ Rollo, how do you like sponsoring a community that can’t tell if beating women is wrong or not? Who find pleasure in tediously word parsing and posing on such an issue instead of having moral clarity? Think about it. Fyi, the reason I react so strongly is that I’ve been the victim of beatings by men who I could not defend myself against when I was a child. I know what it’s like to be abused in this way and I’m a zero-tolerance zone for such behavior as an adult.… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“I never said I was a pacifist . . .”

That would be why I didn’t accuse you of it.

” . . .how many women you’ve beaten recently?”

As many as I have in my entire life.

“I know the answer – Zero.”

There ya go. Libertarians prefer to hire it out.

The Man
The Man
6 years ago

Yeah – like that Peter Tunney guy – in the short vid previously linked, even though the woman was sorta in his thrall about that about him, you could tell he didn’t really give a shit too much about what the woman thought, but didn’t mind what the social dynamic was bringing him nevertheless. Maybe it was because the woman actually seemed to be pandering to some weird status game and trying to draw him in to that, and he wouldn’t bite on that – just stayed true to his frame – which was “I am doing something awesome man,… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

Wow. Bats and beating and even shooting.

It would have been easier to scroll past.

The point is valid that violence is being addressed with more violence by example.

Btw, stepping towards a bat negates it’s effectiveness. Learned that as a child.

This does not work regarding handguns though.

All this violence talk has made me hungry. A bagel sounds great.

Let the beatings continue until morale improves.

I’m used to threatening language and find it semi amusing.

Cream cheese.

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

wild Man “the dynamism – the penetrative drive”

I’ve been thinking about why this is… it is uniquely masculine. I theorize it is the result of the defining feature of male sexuality… mobility!!!

http://65.media.tumblr.com/3c1f59235418452a77ffcf36295694ea/tumblr_n47guupJ5H1r6g9m4o3_r1_400.gif

Blax – enjoy that cream cheese…!

Andy
Andy
6 years ago

“‘That’s part of why most guys learning game don’t just go to a hooker. It’s not just about the sex itself, it’s about feeling a woman legitimately have passion/desire for you.’ right. i’d even go further so as to say it’s about realizing that you can give value, as you, the individual, to other people. that you personally have worth that you can share.” Yeah. It surprises me that there’s so many people that can’t seem to get past the “Pick Up Artist” label… Especially the guys here. I’ll just throw out my latest position on monogamy and kids and… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“I’ve been the victim of beatings by men who I could not defend myself against . . .”

Welcome to the club.

Jackie Treehorn
Jackie Treehorn
6 years ago

Expect this sort of thing to only get worse if (FSM forbid) Hillary gets elected. That’s why I urge all redpilled men to vote for Trump, regardless of any personal misgivings you may have about him.

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Lost one in mod – GIF to Wild Man’s

” the dynamism – the penetrative drive”

yes been thinking about this… it is uniquely masculine. I theorize the root is mobility…

Blax enjoy that cream cheese…

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Ahhh WM is a banned word… lost in mod…

The Man ” the dynamism – the penetrative drive”

Yes I’ve been thinking about this… I theorize dynamism’s root is mobility of sperm… uniquely masculine.

Blax – enjoy that cream cheese!

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

I understand the strong feelings re: abuse.

Get a firm grip. This is a comment section, not a street fight.

Women and men and children get abused daily. It is nothing new.

It is good, IMO, for a man to resolve not to abuse or to aid the abused.

Personal choice.

Please don’t beat those with different views about violence with bats.

Lol. Carry on.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

” I theorize dynamism’s root is mobility of sperm… uniquely masculine.”

Spermatozoa are life. Ova are not. Women may nurture life during the gestation period, but they do not create it.

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