Mansplaining

About three years ago I published a post called Remove the Man. That essay was prompted by Washington state Governor Jay Inslee signing on the final installment of a six-year effort to make language in the state’s copious laws gender-neutral.

“It brings us to modern times, to contemporary times, why should we have in statute anything that could be viewed as biased or stereotypical or reflecting any discrimination?”

That was 2013. I’d encourage readers to go over this article again as a frame of reference, but the gist of the idea then was revealing the efforts being made by the Feminine Imperative to remove men (literally and figuratively) not only from the common language but to remove men from defining masculinity altogether. I touched on this as well in VulnerabilityIn seizing a monopoly on our very language women are free to redefine not just words but the ideas that those words connote.

“But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.” – George Orwell, 1984

It’s an easy jump to associate this word-thought monopolization with political and social justice agendas, and I’m sure there are many examples of it in practice. And while I’ll leave that discussion to other blogs, I do think it’s important in the scope of this blog’s mandate to address how maleness is (and has been) decoupled from masculinity – certainly conventional masculinity – and the redefinition of the concept of masculinity has been surrendered to the feminine in a similar fashion that Hypergamy has been given free reign in society.

In other words, in a feminine-centric social order, men, by and large, have willingly acquiesced the defining power of how they will communicate to the sensibilities of women.

From Remove the Man:

Volumes have been written in the manopshere about how feminine-primary government assumes the masculine providership role in modern relationships, thus freeing an already unhindered hypergamy even more so, but the effort to remove the Man goes far beyond this obvious institution. The fundamental restructuring of gender reference in our very language – as illustrated by the Washington state legislature – attempts to, literally, remove the Man from the equation.

[…]the same social tool has been used by the Feminine Imperative for the past 60 years; inspire self-doubt in male-specific masculinity. By making compliance with the Feminine Imperative a qualification of masculinity, men assign the power to define masculinity to the Feminine Imperative.

[…]For the Feminine Imperative to sustain itself men can never be trusted with masculinity, solution: remove men from being the definers of masculinity and apportion them only enough authority of it that would benefit the Feminine Imperative as necessary.

Control the language and you control the concept. Control the concept, and what is acceptable and what is not about it, and you control the thought before it forms. As I’ve argued in the past, the end state of the Feminine Imperative’s consolidation of social control isn’t the complete elimination of masculinity, but rather that it conveniently conforms to the needs of the imperative as best suits it.

‘Masculinity’ when shame for a lack of performance in desired acts, protection and provisioning are necessary, ‘Misogyny’ when the threat of feminine-primary control is implied in men’s self-esteem, affirmation or reward are attributed to maleness.

From Vulnerability:

For the greater part of men’s upbringing and socialization they are taught that a conventional masculine identity is in fact a fundamentally male weakness that only women have a unique ‘cure’ for. It’s a widely accepted manosphere fact that over the past 60 or so years, conventional masculinity has become a point of ridicule, an anachronism, and every media form from then to now has made a concerted effort to parody and disqualify that masculinity. Men are portrayed as buffoons for attempting to accomplish female-specific roles, but also as “ridiculous men” for playing the conventional ‘macho’ role of masculinity. In both instances, the problems their inadequate maleness creates are only solved by the application of uniquely female talents and intuition.

Perhaps more damaging though is the effort the Feminine Imperative has made in convincing generations of men that masculinity and its expressions (of any kind) is an act, a front, not the real man behind the mask of masculinity that’s already been predetermined by his feminine-primary upbringing.

Women who lack any living experience of the male condition have the calculated temerity to define for men what they should consider manhood – from a feminine-primary context. This is why men’s preconception of vulnerability being a sign of strength is fundamentally flawed. Their concept of vulnerability stems from a feminine pretext.

I’m beginning with this today because it’s necessary to underline the latent purposes behind the cutesy jingoisms the Feminine Imperative likes to use when it finds it necessary to reign in the ‘word-thought’ of men. One of these is the term “Mansplaining.”

I led off with the video of Senator Gallagher being called to the carpet for using ‘Mansplaining’ as her go-to rationale because it illustrates how the jingoism of the imperative is expected to work with men already cowed by a Blue Pill conditioning. She literally expects everyone present to understand what Mansplaining is.

Side note: I also find it ironic that the word “Mansplaining” is not flagged with a red underline by autocorrect as I type this. Womansplaining however, is. It’s kind of spooky how readily the language monopoly of the Feminine Imperative is integrated into our popular consciousness via communications technologies and social media. How quick? Have a look at how ‘Mansplaining’ trends on Google.

Even more ironic is the fact that the common definition of what constitutes ‘mansplaining’ is still up for grabs. According to Wikipedia:

Mansplaining covers a heterogeneous mix of mannerisms in which a speaker’s reduced respect for the stance of a listener, or a person being discussed, appears to have little reason behind it other than the speaker’s assumption that the listener or subject, being female, does not have the same capacity to understand as a man. It also covers situations in which it appears a person is using a conversation primarily for the purpose of self-aggrandizement — holding forth to a female listener, presumed to be less capable, in order to appear knowledgeable by comparison.

Solnit’s original essay went further, discussing the consequences of this gendered behavior and drawing attention to its effect in creating a conspiracy of silence and disempowerment. Solnit later published Men Explain Things To Me, a collection of seven essays on similar themes. Women, including professionals and experts, are routinely seen or treated as less credible than men, she wrote in the title essay, and their insights or even legal testimony are dismissed unless validated by a man. She argued that this was one symptom of a widespread phenomenon that “keeps women from speaking up and from being heard when they dare; that crushes young women into silence by indicating, the way harassment on the street does, that this is not their world. It trains us in self-doubt and self-limitation just as it exercises men’s unsupported overconfidence.”

Mansplaining differs somewhat from other forms of condescension in that it is specifically gender-related, rooted in a sexist assumption that a man will normally be more knowledgeable, or more capable of understanding, than a woman.

Google cuts to the meat of it for simplicity:

mansplain

Others argue that any information a man relates in a male way of explaining it (i.e. a longwinded description of informational content). Julia Baird’s offering is particularly egregious, citing the amount of lines women get in proportion to those of men in the movies:

The problem is global and endemic across all media. Female characters speak lessin Disney films today than they used to — even princesses get a minority of the speaking lines in films in which they’re the principal: In the 2013 animated movie “Frozen,” for example, male characters get 59 percent of the lines. A quick search for best monologues in film or movies reveals that they are almost all male. If you took Princess Leia out of “Star Wars,” the total speaking time for female characters is 63 seconds out of the original trilogy’s 386 minutes.

This, of course, is in stark contrast to the studies that show women spend more time on their cell phones and text more often than men. Women also use emoticons more often than men, yet men have more variety in emoticon usage. That may seem trivial, but it’s an important aspect to consider in comparing men and women’s preferred intents of communication. Then there are the studies that show women actually do talk more than men – 13,000 words a day.

It’s also important to consider that women dominate the vast majority of social media, unless that social media happens to be something work related like LinkedIn. This is an important distinction to make when we consider how men and women prefer to communicate.

From The Medium is the Message:

We get frustrated because women communicate differently than we do. Women communicate covertly, men communicate overtly. Men convey information, women convey feeling. Men prioritize content, women prioritize context. One of the great obfuscations fostered by feminization in the last quarter-century is this expectation that women are every bit as rational and inclined to analytical problem solving as men. It’s result of an equalist mentality that misguides men into believing that women communicate no differently than men. That’s not to discount women as problem solvers in their own right, but it flies in the face how women set about a specifically feminine form of communication. Scientific study after study illustrating the natural capacity women have for exceptionally complex forms of communication (to the point of proving their neural pathways are wired differently) are proudly waved in by a feminized media as proof of women’s innate merits, yet as men, we’re expected to accept that she “means what she says, and she says what she means.” While more than a few women like to wear this as a badge of some kind of superiority, it doesn’t necessarily mean that what they communicate is more important, or how they communicate it is more efficient, just that they have a greater capacity to understand nuances of communication better than do men. One of the easiest illustrations of this generational gender switch is to observe the communication methods of the “strong” women the media portray in popular fiction today. How do we know she’s a strong woman? The first cue is she communicates in an overt, information centered, masculine manner.

It should come as no surprise to most men in the manosphere that men and women have different means and different priorities in communications. I published that post almost five years ago, but even then I knew that a social order founded on feminine primacy was going to standardize its own way of communicating as the correct way. The ostensible reasoning is that, from a desire for gender parity in society, men must abandon their blunt, artless and simplistic, yet overbearing and egotistic way of communication and adopt women’s more meaningful, emotive and insightful covert way.

Of course, it’s men who see this ruse for what it is and either refuse to capitulate or simply don’t realize they’re supposed to talk like women who set themselves apart from the throngs of Blue Pill men conditioned to identify with the female experience (as a means to become intimate with them). I forget where I read it, but some one said a PUA is a man who pretends he has what a woman pretends she does not want. I may not agree with that in whole, but it certainly describes the social condition that’s been established by the Feminine Imperative over the course of four generations.

When we’re presented with easily digestible terms like Mansplaining, no matter how loosely defined, and it filters into the popular consciousness and lexicon so rapidly, what we’re witnessing is the ease with which the Feminine Imperative expects men to cede to it.

When a woman attempts to cow a man by saying he’s Mansplaining something to her she’s reached a point at which she prefers that man, any man, speak to her as a woman would. In base terms, she shames him for not opting to communicate as a woman would from the outset. He should know better.

The fem-splaining cover story is that men feel some ego-centric need to over-explain something to a woman. For a Blue Pill conditioned man this may even be accurate in that they hope so doing will endear himself to a “rational reasonable” woman by helping her understand a concept he’s educated on. What we’re really looking at is a struggle to control which gender-communication will take precedence. In a feminine primary social order, men’s means of communicating is offensive to women by default. The presumption is that men are being condescending to women by expecting them to communicate as men do, and especially within the political and working spheres.

As women push their way into male spaces, part of assimilating those spaces is to re-standardize how men will appropriately communicate within them. The conflict comes from the expectation on the part of men that women will respect the nature of station she’s been empowered to and be able to weather criticism and reproach as men have always done in those stations. The fallacy is the equalist belief that women will be equal agents while holding the same roles as men; the reality is what we see in the video above today.

So the solution, as always, is to remove the man, remove the masculine influence, change the language and the definitions, to remake the nature of the engagement if not the actual real-world factors that make the game or the politic or the business what it is – to silence the man by telling him to “just shut the hell up” or be tarred with the epithet of being a ‘typical man’.

The content of the communication is of less importance to women than how that communication makes them feel. We see this in no uncertain terms the more women become part of the socio-political/business spheres. When a man needs to explain the importance of content to a woman who is only qualified for her station by virtue of her being female that exchange necessarily is uncomfortable for women. Solution: complain about the delivery of the content and silence the men who would deliver it.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

@ scray ” most chicks are just getting their asses kissed 24/7 so it’s like ‘why would i even waste any of my wit/time/higher thought on YOU?’” Okay. I will give you that. But there are some real air-heads out there. Thankfully they don’t constitute the majority… or I’d still be single. He. He. Yet, women for the most part, are indeed irrational. It is true that they CAN be rational when it suits their needs, but even then the rationality they display is peppered with emotions. The Manosphere may overreact in some measure, TRM being an exception, but that’s… Read more »

Water Cannon Boy
Water Cannon Boy
6 years ago

Man in video did right response. Patrice O’Neal used to talk about women’s power is in your fear of being offensive. Many men would’ve apologized like they didn’t realize they did something wrong but still taken her word that they actually did. Most men would’ve apologized like celebrities apologize about tweets. They’re sorry not necessarily from a wrongdoing, but just that somebody was offended.
He gave it a verbal rejection from the paint into the third row of the stands.

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@kfg
@TM

“– well what is this morality thing?”

A species level survival strategy.

as enforced through social conditioning…

good luck!

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

@ Blaximus

Thanks for that. I’ve been often tempted to ask you what went wrong in that first marriage for some time now.

What an illustrative narrative on what not to do.

BTW if you do google search: “Then she hit me with the death blow – ” I love you, but I’m just not IN love with you…”.

Guess how many hits turn up?

The answer: One. Fucking one.

https://www.google.com/search?q=Then+she+hit+me+with+the+death+blow+%E2%80%93+%E2%80%9D+I+love+you%2C+but+I%E2%80%99m+just+not+IN+love+with+you%E2%80%A6%E2%80%9D.&oq=Then+she+hit+me+with+the+death+blow+%E2%80%93+%E2%80%9D+I+love+you%2C+but+I%E2%80%99m+just+not+IN+love+with+you%E2%80%A6%E2%80%9D.&aqs=chrome..69i57.3301j0j8&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

@ SJF I’ve tossed the idea of sharing how I fucked up by trying to empower and be emotional with my wife for a long time now. I give the credit for my sharing to YaReally and scray, believe it of not, for pushing my ass for details that will help other guys in some fashion. Before all of that, I was content to let out little bits and pieces here and there. The only positive, is that I didn’t try to fix it. That shows I did retain a small bit of sanity. It would’ve only gotten worse, warped… Read more »

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@Blaximus

“No sex that night, the girl’s mind was GONE. Lotsa hugging and holding though. Ya(?).”

shit test (massive…lol)… you pinged her beta provider algorithm… hard… lol

good luck!

Blaximus
Blaximus
6 years ago

@ HABD

Well, Idk. Whatever happened, she seemed to be having epileptic seizures for hours.

The Man
The Man
6 years ago

Blaximus – wow that is an awesome story. You should write a screenplay and sell it. That would be a fuck’n cool movie. Sorta like James Bond decides not to be Jame Bond for awhile, then becomes James Bond again.

Sorta like the opposite of a chick flick (woman is free spirited butterfly, then gets caught up by life’s oppression, until she frees herself again and becomes a newborn butterfly).

So an anti-chick flick.

Is there even any movies like this? A new genre spawned. Seriously – you should write that shit down.

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@Blaximus

her circuits got crossed… lol. she knew she had an alpha stud and you pinged her hard enough to try to brute force that provider algorithm into the same hindbrain headspace… lol it’s a wonder her head didn’t actually explode lol

good luck!

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

“I give the credit for my sharing to YaReally and scray, believe it of not, for pushing my ass for details that will help other guys in some fashion.” That is what the manosphere was invented. And why Blaximus showed up in it. And that’s why the noun “microcosm” was invented. And pretty much sums up red pill awareness. The best way to make a woman unhappy is to give her everything she thinks she needs. (Google search that last sentence and you will get 8,110,000 hits.) Definition of microcosm: A situation regarded as encapsulating in miniature the characteristic qualities… Read more »

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

“Is there even any movies like this? ”

Blue Valentine

The story doesn’t sell well, open hypergamy and all.

gb_hill
gb_hill
6 years ago

Curious to see the opinions on this site for this from Wall Street Playboys:

http://wallstreetplayboys.com/personal-finance-and-dating/

Definitely not a believer in “subcomms” rule all.

scray
scray
6 years ago

@blax “It is true that they CAN be rational when it suits their needs, but even then the rationality they display is peppered with emotions.” lol it’s irrational to be rational if you don’t have to be. if you can just satisfy your every whim like the King…..why not? that’s power. women know it. and if you ever observe some super alphas….they know it, too. they’re not particularly rational….i mean, shit, look at story tropes — Captain Kirk is supremely irrational. he represents the alpha, and Spock represents the beta (or how betas probably see themselves) — super logical. ‘that’s… Read more »

YaReally
YaReally
6 years ago

@hank holiday “See, stuff like this is why I dislike harping on alpha and beta too much. I feel like almost all guys start out fairly alpha, then get it beat out of them by society as they grow older. So most of these girly guys you see around today would have been fairly alpha had they grown up in a different setting/time period.” Agree 100%. As I’ve described pickup before: we all start out feeling entitled to whatever we desire when we’re fresh out of the vagina as babies, but social conditioning wraps chains around us…pickup is just the… Read more »

walawala
walawala
6 years ago

@Sfj She’s around 27. She was intrigued. The one small detail I picked up. For all her blabbing and shit testing. She handed me my pool cue. Then I handed it back to her after I took my shot. That small act of compliance was interesting. She kept asking a lot of questions to suss out who I was and what I wanted. She was claiming she was reconsidering coming out and I just laughed and shrugged and said …what a sacrifice you’re an only child aren’t you? The banter is never movie script perfect. On ev psych….chicks love it… Read more »

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@gb hill

“Curious to see the opinions on this site for this from Wall Street Playboys:”

it’s infused to overflowing with FI…lol

from the link
“The graph depicts her expectations of your income versus your age.”
and
“As you can see by the graph, you need to make *at least* the median income in order to consistently date girls in the 6-7 range.”

lol…

the rest of it’s the same…selling beta provider game…

YaReally
YaReally
6 years ago

@gb_hill “Curious to see the opinions on this site for this from Wall Street Playboys: Definitely not a believer in “subcomms” rule all.” Tyler sez wut? This guy sez wut? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajNqfvE-2Vk “Living at home in your parents basement is simply not going to cut it.” Tyler when he lived in a closet sleeping on a mattress and Julien who dropped out of college and moved to LA with no money and lived on the floor of a gay dude’s apartment and Todd sleeping on a tent on a lawn and Max who also moved with no money all say wut?… Read more »

The Man
The Man
6 years ago

SJF – but I don’t think their was any redemption for the Blue Valentine guy for the last part of the movie though – I want the Blax movie with the manly redemption (revolving door for the stripper-banging bachelor pad – nice).

hank holiday
hank holiday
6 years ago

@yareally @culum @forge @quixotic @blax Longest day yet. TL:DR is that I really HAVE to move, and that I need to go to a night club to practice. Raining, didn’t get much sleep. Went out anyway. Earlier in day, see 6 black girl. Open her on her hair. “Do you just naturally have that fro or do you have to style it.” “Well, its kind of like this but I put some gel in it.” “So its naturally like that, but it just looks like shit.” “Yeah, haha.” All smiles, but didn’t push it further since I was in a… Read more »

hank holiday
hank holiday
6 years ago

Think I should just take their things and tease her about it to pull girls away to isolate. Is congruent to me. And more ehhh on the 69 hat guy the more I think about it. Like he doesn’t really understand game much, but has pulled on looks and kind of half getting it. He told me first night I met him how he wanted to bang a girl of every race and getting an asian was so hard. He seemed like a guy that might be good at it, but I just get bad vibes from him. Seems like… Read more »

The Man
The Man
6 years ago

Fuck – I guess my “married” story is pretty grim by comparison to Blaximus’s (but I didn’t really think of it as too grim until this evening). “Then she hit me with the shiv that was always at arm’s length anyway – ” I love you, but I’m just not IN love with you…” Then …. I’m thought to myself …… “well that’s an improvement…. at least she’s making an attempt to tell the truth now ….. but I ain’t leaving first …. this is my place” Fuck I guess I be quite the asshole compared to Blax man. Mmmmm… Read more »

nastynate
nastynate
6 years ago

This is how you handle that shit:
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/125/130/d7b.png

The Man
The Man
6 years ago

OK – I been thinking about this stuff some more now that I have finally written it down and maybe I’m finally getting what you guys have been saying all along. I had a wife prone to the crazies. It was the other women that made here crazy (her Mom and her sister on one side, and then maybe partly imagined, my Mom, and my two sisters on the other side). No fathers – both dead. What’s the common denominator? Me. Why? – cause they all playing nice with me (except wife). What gives? They playing nice with me, because… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“Are you guys sure there really is a sisterhood?”

Yes, but it is egalitarian, and egalitarian societies are not a safe space. They’re fucking nasty. They all, of necessity, operate on the principle of the nail that sticks up must be hammered down.

IAS
IAS
6 years ago

Wow that twitter picture with Notch* picture is rather illustrative, it even includes with a feminist overtly confirming what Notch says: “sit down n shut up”. If I interpret it correctly (I don’t use twitter), Notch then replies to that one as well.

I looked it up and it seems to be recent, from the end of May.

The whole thing is even more hilarious:

http://imgur.com/gallery/8CBmG

https://heatst.com/tech/minecraft-creator-markus-persson-notch-bashes-mansplaining-twitter-brawl-ensues/

* He made the extremely popular game Minecraft, and is a billionaire due to that:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Markus_Persson

Poopycock
Poopycock
6 years ago

Very good article, as always 🙂 “Solution: complain about the delivery of the content and silence the men who would deliver it.” I seldom speak with women if I mustn’t. When I do, I do only with the ones who behave nice enough. As for the others I purposefully insult them in veiled ways (“you look like a feminist”). For the insistent ones I’ve gone so far as a) explaining how a feminist looks and if still insistent b) telling them they look like not even a dog would mount them by his own free will. I’ve had to use… Read more »

stuffinbox
6 years ago

Going on a 3 day fishing ex w/ son.Thinking I will buy the beer if he will laser every girl he contacts.
Came home tired last night,talking w/ wife about what I need to do before we go.oops.
She says don’t forget the trash.I say woman don’t tell me what to do I will put you over my knee,idle threat.
She say you just gave me the goose bumps,shivers.Works every time.

Thanks all.

Truman
Truman
6 years ago

@yareally, how are you getting on with your review of Krauser’s daygame product? I’d love to see it, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

By the way, it’s gotten to the point that when I’m scrolling quickly upwards from the end of the comments, I can tell that a comment is from you without consciously processing any words or seeing your name. Combination of your paragraph style, use of caps, post length, quoting style, and maybe I glimpse the lols and the people you’re @-ing. Your posts are full of subcomms!

theasdgamer
6 years ago

tl;dr FI sets verbal frame (big surprise, huh?) so that men have to try are programmed to communicate in ways more convenient for women. None of this is good for the men who are assimilated into the FI collective (think of the Borg). NB: 1. The Matrix is implicit here. 2. Men who try to emulate women will end up being 2nd rate men and 3rd rate women. That is what ends up happening when men try to communicate like women, especially contextually instead of by providing content. 3. None of this is any surprise to me or, I suspect,… Read more »

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Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ YaReally re: zen It’s important to mention a Taoist story about non-attachment: the only guy who passed the test of being un-attached to sexual desire was a guy who had decided to live at a brothel for years and had as much sex as he wanted. In order for him to see the emptiness of it, he had to experience it for himself firsthand. The mistake guys will make is saying “OH so sexual desire is empty,” and then use that as an excuse to avoid having sex with a lot of girls EVEN THOUGH THEY WANT TO. And… Read more »

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@Miley at june 2 at 9:19pm (lol)

epic rant!…and all too true… [thumbs up…]

keep fighting the good fight!…

good luck!

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Blax – As long as I’m Tangenting, finding and reading Rollo’s essays helped me to fully understand why and how I fucked up down to a fine ass point. Not so fast… You understand how you fucked it up but you don’t – and I sure as hell don’t – understand WHY you did this: Then….. I started hearing about Men being from Mars or some shit. I dunno, it’s kinda hazy now. I do know that I thought I could be a better husband and improve my marriage even more if maybe I took my wife’s feelings and needs… Read more »

theasdgamer
6 years ago

I was out walking yesterday and saw a MILF with kids also out walking. I eyefucked her, smiling, as we exchanged greetings and she returned my eyefucking and smile. It was awesome. She was crossing the street, so I didn’t get in her grill. Two ships passing….

Jeebus
Jeebus
6 years ago

@walawala “This could lead nowhere. But what you guys miss is I was having a blast. I was outcome indedependent and having fun mostly at her expense.” Had a similar experience recently. FR not much to crow about, but man it felt good. Total outcome independence… Just did not care at all, and it felt damn good to be unapologetically sexual. Would love some insight from walawala, yareally and others on where I went south on this one. So, I’ve been gaming this foreign chick for awhile now. I’m “involved” with someone and she knows it, but she still shows… Read more »

gb_hill
gb_hill
6 years ago

Thr Wall Street Playboys are right for an RMV analysis (relationship market value) but they are ignoring the SMV (short term sexual market value) which is what RSD stresses. I’ll grant that. But in the end an attractive woman is going to want money and lifestyle. Poor PUAs with no money but great “subcomms” will not be able to provide her that. You guys overvalue the short term / quick sex power of game. And lets see Julien at 50 when he’s a diabetic. Or RSD Luke lol. @HABD Dude you’re in your 50s and you sound like some idiot… Read more »

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@hank holiday TL:DR is that I really HAVE to move, and that I need to go to a night club to practice. great FR!… props on getting in-field…it’s not easy getting out the door… especially solo… but the ‘having to move’ and ‘go to a night club to practice’ are upgrades (which you should definitely do if you want to)… but you are still doing great with what you have available… keep it up… just wanted to point out a couple things… So, red shirt girl, her two sisters, fatty, guy, and girl with him (who, I learned later, banged… Read more »

fleezer
fleezer
6 years ago

“Maybe if that chode up there could reject social conditioning and understood that he just HAS inherent worth by default, regardless of his externals, and understood how Attraction ACTUALLY works and how women ACTUALLY think about sex etc” that’s a big fuckin maybe. who told owen, etc. to go out and sarge? who told you, ya?? right. nobody. you had no playbook. no videos. you guys just did it. internal motivation is not something that can be coached like action plans, movement patterns, openers, etc. internal motivation has to already be present. it’s clear that if a guy wants to… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ YaReally The social pressure I’ve been facing to stay in my current relationship is INSANE. Example: the BF destroyer routine I accidentally set myself up for: telling my friend about shit she’s done that’s bothered me, and he goes, “Well, no one’s perfect…” and goes into a long discourse on all her positive properties and how she’s really rare, and he would know because he’s been with a ton of women, and saying how it’s really rare to find a woman like that, she’s not like other people, etc….which is like pouring gasoline on the ONE-itis fire. i.e.: “stick… Read more »

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@The Man OK – I been thinking about this stuff some more now that I have finally written it down and maybe I’m finally getting what you guys have been saying all along. and Gonna have to think about this. Man – I think writing this shit down helps see patterns I wouldn’t see otherwise. yep, FRs are valuable…lol… that’s why we recommend them to everybody to do (even if they don’t post them…) I think I saw this dynamic in a different social circle recently too – like there were a few ladies that seemed to really want my… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ gb_hill Comments like yours are what might encourage young guys like me to stay in the only relationship they’ve ever been in, and NOT GET OUT IN FIELD. Like, when I read your comment, I started worrying like, oh shit, he’s right. I don’t want to be 50 years old and diabetic and have no family to help take care of me, or even a wife to be with me. Imagining being alone and sick is awful. I’d better avoid that by NOT RUINING MY RELATIONSHIP NOW by NOT GOING OUT and NOT FUCKING OTHER WOMEN and instead STAYING… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

@Softek: ” Imagining being alone and sick is awful.”

Either you will live through it, or you won’t. Either way, problem solved.

hoellenhund2
6 years ago

I don’t want to be 50 years old and diabetic and have no family to help take care of me Ask yourself: what is the surest way to end up with a serious ailment like diabetes by the time you’re 50? I’ll tell you: by pushing yourself to turn into a responsible, hard-working husband and father supporting a family. Ask yourself another question: how do you become an old guy who’s taken care of by a spouse and children when he’s sick? 1. Find a high-quality, eligible woman and marry her. 2. Have a stable, happy marriage. 3. Have 3-4… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ gb scrib is in his 50’s, prescribed to the have money, provider role thing…..went through a divorce, against his will, and is tearing it up now with 20-something HB9’s and enjoying his life. What would you say to a guy like that? Go find another wife and try again? That he’s being immature and pathetic for chasing young pussy at his age? He already went through marriage and kids and playing the provider role, and look how well that ended up working out for him. So what about guys that have worked hard for a lot of money, and… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ kfg @ hoelle You guys missed that my comment was a tongue-in-cheek direct response to gb_hill’s comment. I’m pointing out the trap that guys can fall into if they believe shit like gb_hill is writing, and how perfect an example his comment was of the FI, which he claims is BS and doesn’t exist, or something. If you go back and read his comment, tell me if I’m wrong. I’m not trying to pick on the guy, but just pointing out that I’m a good example of a freshly-unplugging guy who can fall prey to comments like his… And… Read more »

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

“The fear of being “old and alone” is very real to a lot of guys, and the myth needs to be exposed for what it is.”

Exactly.

sfer
sfer
6 years ago

@ gb_hill “when he too will be a pre-diabetic” I am pretty sure Yareally will be fine. Getting in shape (rather than jacked) is not that hard. Just eat low carb and go to the gym 3 times a week. Or just eat low carb, really diet is the biggest part. I have lived in a nice house in a good school district. It isn’t going to result in a good marriage. Women get tired of men after a certain number of years. It is sad but that is what happens. Maybe, 20% of men can thread the needle and… Read more »

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

@Scray said: You need to know yourself. Who the fuck are you? How far can you push it? A woman’s mind and attention is on the answers to those two questions. you get from her what you reveal of them. The projection of your strength — mainly mental — is what matters. And that’s part of the true red pill and it’s a hard one for many people to accept. It will NEVER benefit you as a man to show weakness in front of a woman. That’s a really good universal truth in relationship game (even STR game). That is… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

Or maybe you didn’t “miss it” and I’m just being defensive, lol. Because I did need some advice with that.

Anyway, thanks for the responses to that.

“Either you will live through it, or you won’t. Either way, problem solved.”

I should put that on my refrigerator or something, lol. That’s going in the memory banks.

@ hoelle

“Realistically speaking, what are the chances of that?”

I’m careful with phrasing things like this, because Beta/Blue Pill guys (like I still mostly am) will take it and run with it like this:

LeeLee
6 years ago

@hoellenhund2 “Ask yourself: what is the surest way to end up with a serious ailment like diabetes by the time you’re 50? I’ll tell you: by pushing yourself to turn into a responsible, hard-working husband and father supporting a family” I’m honestly wondering how you square this with the prolific data that shows married men are healthier and live longer than unmarried men. I don’t want to clutter this with a bunch of links but I thought this was interesting: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/310596.php (Unhappily married men have very low rates of diabetes) Granted, much of what I’ve read here and in the… Read more »

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

@ Softek When you are not afraid of dying, you can get around to really living. The fear of dying (alone or not) is holding you back. A man that is not fearful of dying doesn’t give a shit if he dies alone. Rejection is better than regret. Approaching in PUA is essential. It’s all about Buffers against knowing you are going to die one day. Die Alpha: https://therationalmale.com/2015/02/20/memento-mori/ Ref: Ernest Becker, “The Denial of Death” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Denial_of_Death The basic premise of The Denial of Death is that human civilization is ultimately an elaborate, symbolic defense mechanism against the knowledge of… Read more »

fleezer
fleezer
6 years ago

“marriage carries the risk of the death of the male spirit” infant mortality, hunger, injury, infection, animal attacks, battle with other men, natural disasters, rapid environmental change, exhaustion of resources… none of these things could kill the male spirit. but marriage will? lol. a man’s spirit that’s killed by a woman wasn’t that strong to begin with “almost all studies show marriage overall having a higher benefit for men than women in terms of mental & physical health.” I benefit greatly, far more than her. Marriage is awesome… as long as the man is running the show. For that to… Read more »

theasdgamer
6 years ago

@ Jeebus The broad is just an attention whore and wants to flirt with “danger” and that’s why she ends up wasting your time. Be more aloof when you’re with her. Get her to chase you harder when she’s there. Give her less attention than she gives you. Fewer words when you text. Be slower to respond to her texts than she is and sometimes don’t respond. After the second rejection, just pull away, move your seat elsewhere, and tell her, “There’s the door,” and focus your attention on a video or book, or computer game or whatever. Sometimes ya… Read more »

redlight
redlight
6 years ago

@Jeebus

agree with asd

how did you neg her and get her to qualify herself to you?

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Yareally being able to list reliable beneficial results of following masculine behaviors and mindsets The Alpha Triad – Dynamic, Passionate & Authentic (supra-Game) + Pursuing the Platinum Rule – do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it. + Game as the female language of seduction and The power of Contrast = Abundance lifestyle Fleezer who told owen, etc. to go out and sarge? who told you, ya?? right. nobody. you had no playbook. no videos. you guys just did it. internal motivation is not something that can be coached like action plans, movement patterns, openers, etc.… Read more »

LeeLee
6 years ago

@Rollo – well, you know me and my thing – I’m pro-marriage because I see stable family units headed by a married mother and father as the only real basis for a sustainably sexually dymorphic society (masculine men and feminine women can only be produced through securely attached relationships with feminine mothers, and women can only retain their femininity past their teens/early twenties in a sexually restrictive culture) SO I know exactly what you are talking about with the serum testosterone levels declining in men after marriage, and then even more after the birth of their first child. I’ve read… Read more »

IAS
IAS
6 years ago

@LeeLee: could be a number of things, one of which societal pressure for not conforming having a detrimental effect.

Also it could just be a reverse causal effective (correlation does not mean causation).

Picture this: women would presumably avoid MARRYING men with low mental health (maybe having sex with them as bad boys, but not marrying), and those less sane guys bring down the average of the “never married”.
On the other hand, the ones that married and became insane due to that just kill themselves and don’t bring down the average of the other group 😛

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

” . . . the ones that married and became insane due to that just kill themselves . . .

Why do men die before their wives?
Because they want to.

scray
scray
6 years ago

@ya ‘ But the reality is losing your job SHOULDN’T matter to you. You SHOULD, ideally, be resourceful and smart (or strong in caveman days) to be able to recover and not cry like a little baby victim and need coddling’ right. I mean, like, this is a huge disconnect between PUA guys and manosphere ‘bro climb the mountains and be a NAVY Seal and sing the songs’ guys. PUAs agree with that shit, but they’re just like ‘don’t do that for WOMEN…do that just to follow your own interests and who you are.’ And like, how can a man… Read more »

Roy Hobbs
Roy Hobbs
6 years ago
having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@gb hill Thr Wall Street Playboys are right for an RMV analysis (relationship market value) agreed… for beta provider game/beta relationships… but not for alpha stud ‘desire’ sex…lol believing otherwise… = that’s that FI/social conditioning pushing on you… bc you are ‘identifying’ (as being the sexual ‘winners’ in the system) with beta providers… who are following the FI value set regarding ‘earning the girl’… and THAT does mess up the overall environmental expectations of/for other men (even some RP-aware men) regarding their base-level internal valuation of themselves (their internal frame)… it also results in the divorce rape effect that the… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Sentient Haven’t abandoned Strongtek permanently. It does say a lot that it made me feel uncomfortable enough to stop using for the time being. Getting off Facebook has been pretty crazy. Talk about a time sink. I’ll tentatively count deleting Facebook as a form of “taking action,” maybe in the same category I’d put quitting smoking and drinking in. Internal motivation depends on desire. Shame/guilt will kill desire. You have to want something in order to get it. If you’re wishy-washy about what you want, you’ll end up in my situation where you’re not miserably unhappy, but you’re also… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ HABD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUEX86T_q4A “Do you like to live just like a rock in the middle of the sea? Do you want to suffer by yourself in a pool of blissful misery? Do you feel like a saint in artist’s clothes with a rosary in your hand? Do you want to be crazy like Van Gogh, like a stranger in a strange, strange land? Would you rather push the buttons and be feared by all humanity? Or perhaps you’d like to be a bum? Do you want to be stupid just like me?” —— My alternate version: “Do you want to… Read more »

Jeebus
Jeebus
6 years ago

@ASD – You should be asking yourself why you are letting this broad waste your time. In all honesty… Just practice. Have very little interest in her outside of that. The lay would have been nice, but I couldn’t really care less. Just wanted to test drive some of the strategies here and see how they worked. Interestingly, one point I neglected is that she did blow me off when we were supposed to get together over the weekend. I went completely radio silent and had moved on. Then get an email from her days later apologizing profusely and telling… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

30yo British woman gets dumped by BF so goes on sexcapade, banging 80 guys or so to compensate. Read this article and try to imagine if a man wrote this article and how feminists would respond. Yet, supposedly, women’s sexuality is repressed and shamed in our society. Also, notice what a bag of shit she is. For the record, I’ve only fucked women as ugly has her when drunk, and then, usually only let them blow me. What a fucking joke this society is now. http://img.thesun.co.uk/aidemitlum/archive/02907/04_02231750_3f3f05_2907181a.jpg Also consider the forecast for her life. Cock-blind, post-wall dingbat with hugely warped sense… Read more »

hank holiday
hank holiday
6 years ago

@habd “‘So, red shirt girl, her two sisters, fatty, guy, and girl with him (who, I learned later, banged his roomate lol — she told the girls and I this — guy had left group at this point).’ this is either really good or needs to be ‘addressed’…if the girls included you in this convo bc you were super cool, non-judgmental MAN (having a sexualized presence in-group) then it’s really good… and you are making outstanding progress… if they included you bc they saw you as a ‘gay bff’ type… you need to figure out how to address this in-group… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
6 years ago

Re: GBHill – Ask yourselves, what is he adding to our dialog here? What positive contribution has he ever made? He’s at best a semi-smart pseudo-intellectual riddled with anger at something. Did Daddy beat him? Not breastfed long enough? Who care, but in the end, would anyone here want to be him

@GB – Take cheap shots from the cheap shots all you want, it only demonstrates to us how little social intelligence and game you have. I’m happy with my life, how about you? If so, why are you such an insufferable cunt?

kfg
kfg
6 years ago
bluepillprofessor
6 years ago

@Scray: “if you’ve never heard chicks say witty, insightful, introspective, etc. things then you haven’t gone out enough.” LOL, my wife has an IQ north of 130 and…she is boring as fuck. Completely mind numbingly boring. Of course she is insightful, and introspective about 10% of the time. Like I said, the other 90%, no. Of course we treasure the 10% but, seriously, do you get out much? Have you ever listened to girls talk? 90% of what they say is total bullshit. It’s like Game of Thrones with the lot of them. Sure there are periods of exciting adventure,… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

KFG Beard is not constrained by the tyranny of the Or… Apparently, after I begged off at two a.m. to get some sleep, Beard stopped in at the Carnivore, a local hangout whose menu features zebra and ostrich and crocodile as well as a diverse array of Nairobi night crawlers. It isn’t until the Ethiopian girls begin to wander out of his tent that I realize he didn’t come home alone. As more girls appear, I finally ask, “How many of them are there?” Beard shrugs. “Four or five.” “Did they all sleep in your bed?” Beard nods, grinning. “Wasn’t… Read more »

trackback

[…] Even reformed Feminists realize this. It becomes even more blatant when they redefine words with obvious meaning, like “violence”, in ways that render those words meaningless. […]

The Man
The Man
6 years ago

Hey – anecdotally, I will vouch for the marriage thing being not so good for testosterone, and then having little ones around even more so. When you are a new daddy you very much want to relate to the little one and I guess nature finds a way to let this happen for you, so it seems just fine (because that is what you want then – you want to be able to more-so see the world through the eyes of your little one), until a few years later when the lower T doesn’t seem so fine anymore (your whole… Read more »

Radium
Radium
6 years ago

I’ve come to see much of the post 1960s world as a giant Saul Alinski shakedown scam on society in which social agitators create a grievance allegedly perpetrated by one group against another group. The purpose is to force a transfer of resources between groups while the social agitator skims a little off the top. Alinski became wealthy using his shakedown scam. What we are seeing here is professional feminists taking the lead as social agitators and women in general understanding that they will be the beneficiaries of any transfer of resources or jobs from men to women. This is… Read more »

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

I had a comment yesterday evening that got eaten by WordPress. But I wanted to try to tie in becomingamaninmyforties and Sentients ideas. Becomingaman commenter was wanting to get to happiness. Based on his comments, he seems under constraint. When someone is under constraint (a limitation or restriction) it is hard to have an abundance mentality. Sentient advocates for Dynamic, Passionate and Authentic. I think that pairs well with first having freedom from constraint and an abundance mindset. It is limited without the two latter qualities. The following was a first draft and as always my thoughts change from day… Read more »

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

Tried to post my comment again from last night but it got eaten again.

Wanted to comment about adding freedom from constraint and an abundance mindset to Sentient’s Alpha Triad traits.

(Wish I knew what WordPress was filtering for. No links or pictures were used.)

scray
scray
6 years ago

@bluepillprof ‘my wife has an IQ north of 130 and…she is boring as fuck. Completely mind numbingly boring. Of course she is insightful, and introspective about 10% of the time.’ maybe you’re only worth the effort 10% of the time, herr doktor ‘Like I said, the other 90%, no. Of course we treasure the 10% but, seriously, do you get out much? Have you ever listened to girls talk? 90% of what they say is total bullshit.’ ya. if you learn to listen and read between the lines there’s a lot of interesting shit they’re saying ‘wait.. what the fuck?… Read more »

Trent Lane
Trent Lane
6 years ago

Recently I had a couple of beers with an acquaintance of mine. The man turned 50 this year and literally suffers oneitis for +25 years now. He met her when they both were students, in their 20’s. He suffers from social anxiety and a speech impediment. He is higly intelligent, a dutiful and disciplined worker. Reads a lot. A quiet, humble, highly likable guy. He never married, never had a girlfriend and, for all I know, never had sex either. Maybe he tried prostitutes when he was younger, but it’s hard to imagine. He waits 25 years for this woman.… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
6 years ago

@walawala – Good FR, just read it. Interesting to read one where you don’t actually pull her home and try to figure out why not. Did you feel you couldn’t sexualize more on the date for some reason? Like let me put it another way – do you have a “standard” day 2 routine and stories? Sentient has posted his from his college days and I I have one too (same bars, same stories, almost the same lines to sexualize, almost the same seeding the pull etc, with most of the variation depending on her and her receptiveness/reaction levels. Do… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

“ya. if you learn to listen and read between the lines there’s a lot of interesting shit they’re saying” Not really. If the only truth to a woman is emotion, and emotion is always in the moment, there is precious little she is saying that is more than in the moment blather… The mistake guys make all the time is believing the sweet burblings have anything behind them… know there is really no there there at the end of the day… The same mechanism is in play with this outcome… “And when she gets dumped by her boyfriend because she… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Rollo You’ve got a lot of competition. I got the “boyfriend” thing big again just now, saying how she’s facing rejection from me every single day because I haven’t “made it official.” It’s hard enough to collect my head from the barrage of demands and insults and even understand where that is coming from. I wonder what the fuck she’s been reading that put these ideas in her head. I haven’t read anything on dating or relationships outside of RM for a very long time now. Just Googled something about when ‘normal’ people have what is apparently called “The… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
6 years ago

@hank holiday – just read through your long FR. Not much to say except it basically seems like you’re going great guns and doing really well on opening and socializing and huge props on getting out there and taking action despite your issues with job, not having girls you like around etc. You are fantastic at the social stuff, opening people and the broader social skills which is great – you just need to start layering in the sexualizing and pulling individual girls but the way you’re going – strategically thinking about it, planning and most importantly taking action you’ll… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
6 years ago

BTW, I think YaReally posted the video above of the fake homeless guy pulling girls, but I have seen a REAL homeless guy doing day game – I posted about it on CH sometime last year but he was a literal old homeless dude who looked homeless who opened an HB8 10 feet from me when she stepped out of her building for a smoke, and kept her solidly engaged for 10-15 min (I could hear most of their conversation and although she was mostly being polite at the start by the end she was definitely enjoying the chat). He… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Trent Your story scares the shit out of me. Mostly because I’m in a similar hell right now, as far as ONE-itis goes. Pisses me off how vicious she’ll get, in a way that’s coated in sugar. Like she’s saying she loves me and wants me, but if you look beyond that, what is she doing? PRESSURING me and DEMANDING that I do something. And threatening me with leaving if I don’t commit. Look at her behaviors, not her words…. What is her behavior? PRESSURING. DEMANDING. THREATENING. MANIPULATING. “If you love me, you’ll be my boyfriend. If you love… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

SJF – regarding your draft thoughts “Sentient advocates for Dynamic, Passionate and Authentic. I think that pairs well with first having freedom from constraint and an abundance mindset. It is limited without the two latter qualities.” I submit that a freedom from constraint and an abundance mindset can only follow the Triad traits… For starters, faking abundance crosses out authenticity… Similarly you cannot BE dynamic and passionate and be constrained. You may face obstacles, but that is different from acknowledging constraint. When I developed the Alpha Triad, being lazy, I sought to distill what “being Alpha” was down to the… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Softy “…then the guy is “not worth her time” and “she deserves better than that.” Like seriously, what the fuck? My mind is just being blown by all this.” He he… Only your far right of the mean on the spectrum has kept you in the game thus far… Like the guy who walks through the minefield from the wrong side and when he gets to the front sees the signs… All women have an expiration date… comes from having 300-400 eggz in TOTAL. Can’t waste any of em. They know this at 5 years old, when the competition starts…… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Sentient

Current phase of Unplugging that I’m going through:

Sentient
Sentient
6 years ago

Softy – it’s 10:30 on Friday night… Prime time. Go, there are women within 30 minutes of you wherever you are. Go.

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@scribblerg

re gb hill

he’s here for the same reason you stuck around… even though you weren’t getting it right away… bc you knew your life wasn’t working and wanted some answers. although on some level he might not fully grasp that consciously.


but like i explained to @STRONGTEK, if you keep trying, at some point you can’t NOT see the matrix… and that’s an AWESOME day to look forward to…”

‘if you keep trying… ‘ and gb hill’s comment is what that trying looks like coming from someone trapped in the FI value set.

good luck!

Jimmy B
Jimmy B
6 years ago

@having a bad day

Great advice mostly, but please drop the …”lol’s”, mate, as that’s something women/feminine men do…

hank holiday
hank holiday
6 years ago

@ jimmy b

Super. Lololololol

lol

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

“This is why I keep writing.”

and I’m glad that you do… but the next thing up on the RP development agenda at the skunkworks lab is a delivery method for those ideas directly into guys like trent lane’s buddy… like a shot of anti-FI penicillin into the buddy’s butt… lol

good luck!

hank holiday
hank holiday
6 years ago

@culum Yeah definitely got the social stuff down good. Just now had a convo with a guy who has to ride a scooter 20 miles to work. He said it looked like shit but it was reliable and it saved him a lot of money. I told him it was smart to budget. Most people nowadays don’t save anything. We went over how budgeting shows you all the little things that add up, but cool thing is most times you only have to cut out a few things to make ends meet. I also commended him on his goal to… Read more »

redlight
redlight
6 years ago

please drop the …”lol’s”, mate, as that’s something women/feminine men do…

whatever you do, don’t go to the lol archive, sorry I mean the yareally archive

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@Jimmy B

“Great advice mostly, but please drop the …”lol’s”, mate, as that’s something women/feminine men do…”

could you feel the FI pushing on you when you felt the ‘need’ to make THAT comment?… as opposed to some other idea… serious question…

good luck!

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@hank

lol…

good luck!

having a bad day
having a bad day
6 years ago

@hank

great job on giving value to that scooter guy! you really are getting hang of this stuff. getting in-field makes all the difference… and props on doing that.

good luck!

Roy Hobbs
Roy Hobbs
6 years ago

Need some Yoda guidance here: @ Trent 3:55 (not directly related but…) Tonight I sat with a bud from grad school… (divorced 3yrs). Good drinks- only a couple as we both had places to be later… He tells me his post divorce (LTR 2+ yrs) is going to Brazil for a month- and is bringing her kids for a life experience. She did not invite my friend(her blatant BF)- but the bomb was her mention that her ex has accepted her offer of coming with her. [my first thought] The ex held her kids hostage to get this… [yet]She bowed… Read more »

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