Fempowerment

fempowerment

I’m often asked by ‘fempowered’ women critics whether I ‘believe‘ in some of the more socially acceptable tenets of feminism in some sort defense to the affront of my Red Pill lens being cast their way. It’s usually something to do with, “Do you or do you not think women ought to have the right to vote?” or the ever-reliable “Shouldn’t women have the right to do with their bodies what they choose?” These questions are always binary (“yes or no will do”) and usually couched in a context that implies that if you even slightly disagree or have a marginal caveat to answering ‘appropriately’ you’ll be dismissed with a name tag that has “misogynist” printed on it. Say no and you’re a despicable misogynist. Say yes and you’re tar-pitted in “yes, but” caveats – mansplaining – that are disqualified because you’re a man.

Say no and you’re a despicable misogynist. Say yes and you’re tar-pitted in “yes, but” caveats – mansplaining – that are disqualified because you’re a man. Up until recently, it’s been a very effective means of silencing uncomfortable truths about the Feminine Imperative.

I’ve always found it ironic that a movement (feminism) that predicates itself on the ostensibly egalitarian notion that rational, reasonable considerations of issues should lead us to ideals of equality is the first to reduce itself to unquestioned, blind faith binaries at the first sign of rational reasonable truth being unflattering to women. If you want to know who holds power over you, look at whom you aren’t allowed to criticise – or even hint at criticism.

My position on these and many other questions of the sort is usually met with simple observational analysis (as you’d probably expect). I don’t necessarily have a problem with women voting or even having access to legal (relatively safe) abortions. What I have a problem with is the latent purpose behind the reasons that led to women’s decisions to vote a particular way or the latent purposes that brought them to having that abortion. For the greater part, any dubious ‘right’ women feel they were somehow denied in the past usually comes at the expense of men being liable for decisions they had nothing to do with.

What I have a problem with is an expectation of lowering the standards of the game, thus fundamentally altering the game, to better accommodate the variable strengths and weaknesses of women – up to, and including, changing the very nature of women’s environmental realities that would endanger the wellbeing of both sexes. What I take issue with is the expectation of making men liable for the decisions and consequences of the rights and freedom of choices we’ve reserved for only women to make (almost unilaterally Hypergamic choices) that are not in men’s best interests.

I mentioned in Our Sister’s Keeper that men today find themselves in a very precarious position with regard to entertaining women’s perceived wrongs of the past. Men are expected,by default, to be held accountable, for no other reason than they were born men, for past injuries to the ever-changing Feminine Imperative. Your existence as a man today, your failed understanding to accommodate women’s social primacy, your lack of catering to the ambiguous nature of what conveniently passes for masculinity, is a constant stinking affront and obstacle to the “advancement” of women. The Feminine Imperative has known how to manipulate men’s Burden of Performance for millennia, and at not other time in history has it had the unfettered leisure to do so than now.

So, we get socially acceptable default presumptions of ‘male privilege’ without qualifying what it even means, or we get catchy jingoisms like ‘mansplaining’ to give a name to women’s need for silencing men’s inconvenient observations of women’s ‘correct’ perceptions, decisions and the reasons they came to them. We get default presumptions of male guilt for sexual assault and sexual consent as fluidly defined in as convenient a way that serves women’s imperatives. As I’ve mentioned before, the true intent of feminism has never been about establishing a mutually agreed ‘equality’, rather it’s always been about retribution and restitution for perceived past wrongs to the sisterhood.

There has always been a subtext, a cover story, of equality mentioned in the same breath as feminism. Only the most antagonistic asshole, only the most anti-social prick, would be against “equality between the sexes”. Thus, to be against feminism is to be against a simplistic concept of baseline equality. However, taken out of the propagandizing efforts to shame and ‘correct’ men’s imperatives, it’s easy to demonstrate that the true intent of feminism is female ‘fempowerment’ in the dressing of an equality that no man (or woman) wants to appear to be against.

Yellowed Pearls

I found an interesting example of this  Catch 22 in the Economist recently. Pick and choose: Why women’s rights in China are regressing.

In 2007 China’s official Xinhua news agency published a commentary about women who were still unmarried at the age of 27 under the title, “Eight Simple Moves to Escape the Leftover Woman Trap”. The Communist Party had concluded that young Chinese women were becoming too picky and were over-focused on attaining the “three highs”: high education, professional status and income. Newspapers have since reprinted similar editorials. In 2011 one said: “The tragedy is they don’t realise that as women age they are worth less and less, so by the time they get their MA or PhD, they are already old, like yellowed pearls.”

In the last Red Pill Monthly discussion, I mentioned the expansion that the Feminine Imperative has taken on a global scale. One of the old missives of the manosphere has always been about how American women are too far gone to be worth ever entertaining beyond a pump-and-dump consideration. They are too damaged and self-absorbed beyond all redemption, and men ought to expatriate to another country where women are more feminine or at least necessitous enough to appreciate a conventionally masculine man.

I get that. I understand the want for a Poosy Paradise or some promised land where women are still raised to respect and love men by being conventionally feminine. I also get that there exist certain cultures where this is still true, but for all of that, I think it’s important to recognize the social undercurrent that the Feminine Imperative exercises in these cultures. A popular meme on Twitter is ‘Feminism is Cancer’, but there’s a kernel of truth to the humor of this. The spread of the westernizing social primacy of the Feminine Imperative is spreading, not unlike cancer, into what we would otherwise believe were societies and cultures still oppressed by the mythical Patriarchy – a belief necessary to perpetuate the narrative of default female victimhood.

It may not be now, but at some stage, the Feminine Imperative will exercise its presumptive control over even the societies we think ought to be immune from that cancer. As I mention on The Red Pill Monthly, even in underdeveloped countries where we would expect to find the horrible oppression of girls and women, we make a triumphant example of the incidents of where girls (not boys) are taught to read and “think for themselves”. Westernized culture, founded on the Feminine Imperative, celebrates every time a woman in Saudi Arabia is allowed to drive a car, much less run a business on her own as if it were some blow against the tyranny of men.

Little by little, or in leaps and bounds, your second or third world Poosy Paradise will eventually be assimilated by the Feminine Imperative.

I bring this up because, as you’ll read in the linked article, China is also experiencing the long-term results of having adopted feminine social primacy in its own culture. From women’s popular consciousness, we’re still, to this day, told of how horrible “communist” China has been in mandating its one-child policy and how its draconian ‘sons live, daughters die’ social structure has been the result. However, once we reasonably investigate it, we find that China now has a problem with “Yellowed Pearls” as a result of a cultural shift that placed women’s interests as preeminent in that culture. And it should be noted that this shift came about as the direct result of the men who adopted and accommodated the Feminine Imperative as their own.

Now the problem for women in China is not unlike the plight of American women bemoaning the lack of men with “equal” marriageability as themselves. And likewise, the self-same social authorities responsible for institutionalizing the fempowerment of women are now the horrible misogynist villains for suggesting that women ought to lower their unrealistic standards.

The tone of these articles is surprising, given the Communist Party’s past support for women’s advancement. Mao Zedong destroyed China, but he succeeded in raising the status of women. Almost the first legislation enacted by the Communist Party in 1950 was the Marriage Law under which women were given many new rights, including the right to divorce and the right to own property.

Sounds a far cry different from the pictures women, even women in this century, have painted of China’s institutionalized, one-child sexism doesn’t it? Remember, this advancement in women’s rights took place before the Cultural Revolution in China.

Though collectivisation made the latter largely irrelevant, women played an active role in Mao’s China, and still do today. By 2010 26% of urban women had university degrees, double the proportion ten years earlier. Women now regularly outperform men at Chinese universities, which has led to gender-based quotas favouring men in some entrance exams. However, many of the earlier advances have been eroded in recent years by the gradual re-emergence of traditional patriarchal attitudes.

Consider this part in contrast to other industrialized nations and how women have increased their socio-political standing as the result of having the Feminine Imperative adopted as the primary social order of those cultures. Even in cultures that are still popularly deemed “repressive” to women we see educational and socioeconomic parallels to western(ized) cultures. We also see the same resulting consequences and the shifting of blame for them to men. The downside of Yellowed Pearls is placed at the feet of men for not living up to the convenient, feminine-primary definition of what their Burden of Performance ought to mean in promoting and forgiving women’s decisions.

The party has joined an alliance of property companies and dating websites to confront the issue. Government surveys on marriage and property are often sponsored by matchmaking agencies, and perpetuate the perception that being “leftover” is the worst thing that can happen to a woman. They also promote other myths, such as the idea that a man must have a house before he can marry.

As you may expect, the tone of the article is written to emphasize an egalitarian perspective that conflicts with a reality that the Feminine Imperative would have men change or be responsible for not having changed. It’s men’s fault that women might feel bad for not having married by a post-wall age. It’s men’s fault for promoting myths that women would expect that a man must be successfully established in his life and career before any considerations of marriage occur to him. It’s also a man’s fault for clinging to the “myth” that women don’t want him to be established.

The law is reflecting the shift away from women’s empowerment too. An interpretation by the Supreme Court in 2011 of the 1950 Marriage Law stated that, when a couple divorces, property should not be shared equally, but each side should keep what is in his or her own name. This ruling, says Ms Fincher, has serious implications. In the big cities a third of marriages now end in divorce but, based on hundreds of interviews, she finds that only about 30% of married women have their name on the deeds of the marital flat. Women believe the party hype about becoming a “leftover” woman so strongly, she says, that many rush into unhappy marriages with unsuitable men, made on condition that the brides agree not to put their name on the property deeds.

Feminism Would be a Success if Men Would Only Cooperate More

Several years ago Dalrock had a post detailing the sentiment of feminists that feminism would be a success if only men would cooperate with the ideology by abandoning their own interests and sublimating their own biological impulses. The fact remains that feminism and egalitarianism are failed ideologies because at the root level those ideologies ask men to participate in their own extinction. Not only this, but they ask men to raise successive generations to accommodate and participate in their own degradation.

The narrative expects Yellowed Pearls to be prized by men, or respected as Spinsters, or pandered to as ‘Cougars’ while still maintaining men sublimate their own imperatives by willfully ignoring the fact that their own sexual strategy is what is being asked of them to abandon. As I stated in the Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies, for one sex’s strategy to succeed the other must either be compromised or abandoned – what better way is there to assure this for women than to socially mandate through shame, persecution or financial liabilities that men abandon their own strategy in favor of women?

For some time now, I’ve detailed how for the past 4 or 5 generations, there has been a popular social re-engineering effort to raise and condition boys to become the ‘better betas‘ – boys designed to become the supportive male-reinforcers of empowering women’s interests and imperatives.

For a greater part this effort has been primarily focused on boys and men in western society, and while it’s still open for debate, I’d say that westernizing cultures are really the only cultural environments that can afford to entertain this ‘fempowerment’. This is changing radically now if it was ever really the case to begin with.

In the manosphere we like to highlight the ‘pussification’ of modern men through various efforts on the part of a nebulous ‘socitey’ aligned against masculinity. However, the flip side to this is the fempowerment agenda; an feminine-primary social structure that disallows any criticism of inherently female nature while promoting the empowerment of women on every level of social strata.

We coddle and cater to the feminine in every aspect of social interaction, every aspect of academic achievement, every socioeconomic advantage inventable, every story we tell in every form of media and we do so under the threat of not being supportive or misogynistic for suggesting anything marginally pro-masculine. This is the other side of the demasculinization imperative of boys & men – the total consolidation of handicaping men and empowering women into unrealistic effigies of feminine triumphalism.

How do you counter this?

I’m always lauded for describing these social dynamics, but I’m run up the flagpole for not offering concrete ways of dealing with and pushing back on these imperatives. Many a MGTOW will simply suggest men no longer play the Game, that isolationism is the way to go, but this only serves to eventually concede power to the Feminine Imperative. You don’t get to check out of the Game even if you refuse to play it. For all the guys who left for parts unknown to find their demi-utopia of feminine women in a foreign country, even they will explain that the tide of feminism is changing those seemingly idlyic places. And for every guy to voluntarilly go celebate and “refuse to deal with women” I’ll show you a man whose tax dollars go to fund the consequences of women’s legislated rights to Hypergamous choice.

Sooner or later Men will have to confront and push back against both men and women who are convinced of their purpose in idealizing the dictates of the Feminine Imperative. A lot of men in the ‘sphere believe their being clever when they refer to people with this worldview as ‘SJWs’, but for every hair dyed, gender-confused man-woman you see on Twitter there are hundreds of ‘normal’ people who all share similar perspectives – some simply subconscious generalization they’re oblivious to – sitting next to you at church, or working in the cubicle next to you.

As I’ve mentioned countless times, the change needs to take place by appealing to the hearts and minds of Men by making them Red Pill aware from the bottom up, but moreover, we need to live out that awareness in our own lives and lead by Red Pill example. Our decisions in life, our aspiration in parenting, family and career, in our business dealings, in the women we Game and the people we hire, all of these aspects need to take on the perspective of how they fit into pushing back against a feminine-primary world that demands we surrender any thought of individuated male power.

As Men, we need to unapologetically exercise what little power we’re left with to inform this and successive generation of Red Pill truths tactfully, but with strength of conviction in the face of a feminine-primary society bent on our surrender. Life finds a way. Feminism and the consolidation of the Feminine Imperative have failed because Men were not evolved to acquiesce their dominant spirit. On the same evolutionary level women also evolved into requiring that convnetionally masculine dominance. This is why feminism and egalitarianism will ultimately fail – nature simply will not cooperate with it’s own stagnation. As men, we can use this truth to our Red Pill aware advantage.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

906 comments on “Fempowerment

  1. I would say it is a cycle, but an ever changing one. I have faith that we can muddle along in mediocrity, dumb and comfortable for at least 100 years.

    True. But on the other hand I couldn’t imagine such a rapid decline in power of the west 10 years ago.

    But that cycle may well span over centuries. And if that theory is true a patriarchy might need war to work. War just to have the weaker and less fortunate die. How far we are from that!

  2. One of the elements not being discussed in how the cultural elites managed to shape the cultural narrative is the absence of what would be considered traditional religion. I mean this as a belief that one feels in his core. Carl Marx understood his ideology was incompatible with traditional religion, and he attempted to eliminate religion.

    I don’t think most of the cultural elites are evil or intending harm. On the contrary, I think many are dedicated to creating a better tomorrow while perhaps also obtaining resources and power for themselves. Of course, most are also blindingly ignorant, which becomes obvious when you try to discuss their ideas in depth.

    Unfortunately, their basic assumption is that human nature is malleable and a Utopia on Earth can be created. Without a God to serve and a heaven to obtain, it is this Utopia that drives their actions. A Star Trek the Next Generation type world is what I think many envision their ideas and actions will lead.

    The thinking of the cultural elites has for at least the last two centuries been in terms of morality. If you disagree with them, you are not wrong but evil. This is a form of religious thinking.

    What strikes me about the cultural elites is how dogmatic they are even when confronted with facts that disprove their vision. No amount of evidence is going to get many of them to change their minds. Their vision can dismantle Western civilization, and they would never acknowledge their errors.

    Western technology causes a decline in traditional religions. This may be a contributing factor in the cancerous spread of SJW ideologies.

  3. “15 years. 10 years ago it was already visible.”

    This is an example of how far the progressives have shifted the window. It was visible before WWI and rose to significant power in the 20’s.

    Much of what we consider the Good Old Traditional days were already deeply progressive.

  4. @Radium,
    God is dead, moral relativism abounds, there is no “Authority” any longer, it’s all fucked.
    Go read that book by Charles Murray, Coming apart. It’s a very easy read that gives a very concise history of pretty much how Western values lost the plot and fell apart over the last 50 years.
    The only way to “win” really is a massive cultural reset, recalibration. A war a long way from our shores won’t do it, it would have to be a war close to home or the literal bankrupting of the US. to stop the spending.

  5. The decline of the patriarchy, yes. But the American Century, the rise of “western capitalism” only started with WWI.

  6. But then I turn around and do work for an Indian guy, who started with a gas station but now owns some 50 hotels, the guy is a billionaire, all made in the last 30 years. Then I turn around and work with a Persian family who also own hotels across the country, also billionaires. Then I work with an up and coming Arab guy who is just trying to eke out a bit more than some other guy. My latest client is an Asian start-up developer with a very aggressive and unique approach to growth that is entirely predicated on working within his tribe almost exclusively. Asian guy could easily hire an Asian Architect in the City, but he chose me because he likes how we work etc. His customers however are going to be almost all Asian Canadian or mainland Asians.
    The common thread, they simply want to make money, shit tons of money

    errmmmm Common Thread is these are all clanish/tribal cultures that seek over and over to consolidate gains among their ingroup vs disperse among outgroups… thereby maximizing their impact/competitive advantage disproportionate to their demographics/populations…

  7. @Scriberg

    I agree with some of what you wrote; this though not so much “…Via immigration and by building factional coalitions driven by the cheapest politics of hate and envy.” that’s not really accurate. I think you’re conflating feminism with the left and thus demonize progressive ideas. Folks tend to lump liberals/feminists/leftist/progressive/socialist into one monolith to make it easier to criticize. Liberals have kicked ass not so much from driving the politics of hate/envy, but by appealing to common sense and reason.

    Imo yes policies have drifted leftward over time in most western industrialized economies, but it’s mostly due to the correct realization that government does have a role to play in organizing a well functional society for the greater good. I don’t see it as to some misguided enthusiasm to push the feminine imperative (even though the FI does benefit greatly in some ways) Ya’ll make it sound so insidious lol.

    Fact is, here in the U.S. national democratic politicians (Obama included) are center left, there is simply not that much that is radically leftist, or socialist on the national political level, even less so on the state/local govt. Besides, despite the strange way we run elections, its still mostly a marketplace of ideas. If trad/con ideas were broadly appealing folks would vote for them.

    Firmly agree though with regulating one’s own inner life and uncoupling from all the intense social conditioning that’s a constant feature of our lives. It’s hard to filter through the bullshit, but just as I lurk here and other places (reddit etc) I lurk on Jezebel just to keep my finger on the pulse of that whole scene. Also agree that there may not be any political or other kind of large scale revolution or uprising coming to turn (or return) shit to a more palatable order, and frankly it wasn’t all peaches and cream for dudes. The past is gone, accept the present, plan for tomorrow imo.?

  8. “I’m often asked by ‘fempowered’ women critics whether I ‘believe‘ in some of the more socially acceptable tenets of feminism in some sort defense to the affront of my Red Pill lens being cast their way.”

    Then again, “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away” (Philip K Dick). The question is, how congruent is feminism with the realities of human biology?

    In any case, the future will belong to those who show up for it. If feminism requires feminist women to postpone marriage and childbearing until they’ve obtained advanced degrees and established themselves in careers then feminism might be headed for a big Darwin Award.

    In which case feminism is not at all like cancer, for (unfortunately) cancers reproduce themselves.

  9. @IAS

    ” She goes “IAS, right?”, I smile and go “Yes, that’s me”. “I remember your name from the rounds”. Maybe another perk of being a foreigner [strange name, easier to stand out], or I had caused enough impact regardless. Didn’t do more but probably could have. Too hard to talk in clubs though. [Should have tried to pulled to a dance floor for a bit, or pull to a quieter spot maybe].”

    lol

    when a girl comes up to you and notices anything or says anything….90% of the time it’s yours to lose. that’s not to say you can’t lose it by being an uncalibrated fuck.

    the dance floor is a TRAP

    if you like to dance, have fun, but the dance floor is just….you’re making it harder on yourself.

    here’s how to properly use the dancefloor:

    you have already hooked a girl who is in a group with you and you’re sure she’s into you and you’re sure you and her are going somewhere after the club. then YES….dance with her and spike her temp.

    otherwise…blah blah blah it’s for the birds.

    so, in this situ, try to bounce her somewhere quieter.

    “So I put an arm around each of them, bring them really close to me but not quite hug and say “Don’t worry about it, you’re with me, she will have to kiss me first”. I have to say given the context I did think about RSD Tyler getting a 3 way make out of the situation, as it was that kind of configuration.”

    not bad.

    but i mean, girls get excited by this shit. you should have just put on your most non-judgmental face and been like ‘cool!’ and just let that girl come to your group and just silently facilitated whatever….

    …when they’re like ‘omg can you BELIEVE….’
    i always treat it like a test: ‘wow that’s kind of outrageous, i’m intrigued, but i wonder if this guy will judge me…’

    “Also chatted up a bouncer because it must get pretty boring. I told him I’m sober, that I’ve seen some pretty weird stuff and asked what is the most messed up thing he has seen. He said “I see people throw up on themselves, and then throw up on themselves some more”. I was expecting something more entertaining.”

    this is good that you’re getting used to chatting up strangers.

    you need to learn how to solve clubs tho.

    put the pieces of the equation together.

    here you are, hanging out with 3 WOMEN.
    i don’t think you understand what kind of currency that is in a club.

    this weekend i was out with four young hotties ages 22-25.

    disclaimer:
    working with chicks to set anything up is a nightmare lol esp if you have slept with more than one of them — but it’s just one of those things….

    annnnnyways….

    when you show up with multiple young cute women, the next step is just finding a group of chodes who have bottle service, getting in on the game (yes, you are engaging in a trade — girls for a nice place to sit)

    now you have a nice spot in the club with someone else footing the bill.

    HERE IS THE KEY:

    just go out and get more girls.
    leave a few there with the chodes, take one hottie (or roll solo) and just run some game OR, you can be lazy like me and just toss the ‘hey we got a bottle’ line

    ‘but scray, isn’t that settling into a provider frame?’

    why yes it is….

    ….UNTIL i get her there and she realizes i’m not paying for shit and that these dudes just are dropping so much money and letting me share because i bring women and that most of the women there know me and holy shit i waited to drop this bomb and insanely DHV myself until me and her are in this micro-environment where i have super status and insane social proof…..

    …oh wait, here comes the bouncer who KNOWS me and always sees me at a table with hotties….

    …oh wait here comes the promoter who sees the same (and these are high value guys) and are shaking my hand and shit ‘this fucking guy, always with the chicks….i don’t even know why they like you…’

    honestly it’s fucking stupid. so I DHV then ROLL OFF (usually to go try and fetch another chick), and then just take my pick….

    total money spent: 0 $

    HBs? : take your pick

    ….

    you need to learn how to SOLVE the social situations you’re in and CLIMB the hierarchy. if you’re there with multiple women you need to start trying to get free shit.

  10. @redlight

    Lmao are those Beyonce’s lyrics? damn.. didn’t watch that shit but facebook/twitter is aflame over it. Threw Jigga under the bus lmao.

    Sheeiiit, only a matter of time.. Listen to Song Cry, Don’t matter how bomb that pussy is, it’ll get old. even Beyonce yo? imagine that?

    Hmm I’d say Jay-Z is pretty alpha at least his on-wax persona is lol.

  11. @theasdgamer

    It’s true dude.. trad/cons lost the game cuz the ideas are stale. Its a marketplace of ideas and trad/con ideas were simply rejected by the political majority.

  12. @Scrib, I hear you. The whole system will collapse. It’s too big and corrupt at this point not to. But I believe millions of people like you are preparing for it and have been for some time. One thing I don’t think most people are prepared for though is that if they think RP people like us are the enemy now, just wait until society actually collapses. You ain’t seen nothing yet.

  13. @ scray

    the dance floor is a TRAP

    It can be a trap you create for yourself. Me, I enjoy dancing and the endorphins and good feelz and multiple partners and burning calories and improving my strength and agility and spatial intelligence and social awareness, etc. If I’m not focused on making a connection with my current dance partner and maintaining that connection after the dance because I’m wondering who I want to dance with next, then it can mess up my game. I need to revisit making a connection with my partner. It can be difficult to maintain that connection and navigate through dance floor traffic at the same time. Visual connection, convo, it should all be there. Men have a lot to do on the dance floor and I have a habit of focusing on navigation because I don’t want to run my partners into some drunk. Drunks will sometimes move against the flow of dance floor traffic.

    Last Fri. some random dude comes up to me and tells me that a bachelorette wants to dance with me. He wasn’t with the bachelorette party, even. And he told me that several other girls told him that they couldn’t keep up with my energy on the dance floor. (In truth, I don’t look like I’m trying hard even when I’m moving at a fast pace. But the bar is set very low, lol, because most men at the bar can’t dance worth a damn.)

    The dance floor is an opportunity to DHV. If your convo skills are lacking, dancing might be a way to maximize your skills.

  14. @theasd

    “Me, I enjoy dancing and the endorphins and good feelz and multiple partners and burning calories and improving my strength and agility and spatial intelligence and social awareness, etc”

    ok but you’re also married and not looking to bang anyone.

    so let me clarify: if you’re looking to have sex with women and run into minimal obstacles etc., the dance floor is just best avoided.

    you will spike and then have problems taking them away

    “The dance floor is an opportunity to DHV. If your convo skills are lacking, dancing might be a way to maximize your skills.”

    ya you will ‘DHV’ and then get some chick interested and then have nowhere to go because once you pull her off the floor the ASD goes through the roof.

  15. YaReally Sentient HABD scribblerg and all the usual gang

    Non pickup question from me today. Still social skills/rapport related so I figure it’s in the same wheelhouse.

    So I’m going to a big multi-day work conference soon.

    It’s the biggest event in a fairly insular “small world” kind of career area. Several hundred people in a nice resort for 3-4 days – mixture of panel discussion type stuff and fancy black-tie dinners, informal drinks events and some tourist events and social stuff. Most delegates (including me) staying in the same large hotel.

    Everyone who is anyone in that career field will be there.

    This is a bit of a career punt for me. I work in a similar (allied) career area, but I want to move into the career field that the conference is about.

    I have some basic credibility in the “target” career field – I have fluked into doing a couple of good projects in the target area and my previous employer (not the current one) is a very well known name in the field and a great name to have on my resume (although my role there wasn’t focussed on this kind of work).

    But the bottom line is, I am going alone to a conference with 500+ delegates, a huge number of whom know each other very well and have strongly established social and professional ties. I don’t know any of the attendees (I don’t have a list of attendees but my research suggests a couple of distant acquaintances of mine may attend – possibly from my old employer).

    I really want to break into this field – it would have been a lot easier to do at my old employer (I’d have just started angling for projects from the relevant team and eventually transferred to that team and gone from there) but I can’t do that with my current employer, so in essence I am going as a free agent.

    Any tips or thoughts on how to work things socially to maximise results? I think I remember Sentient posting some stuff about work conferences before..

    I don’t expect instant job offers or magic to happen (actually come to think about it, I probably COULD get a job in the target area based on my current experience if I was willing to accept an entry level role..but I’d really prefer not to have to do that).

    All I want from the conference is to build (or at least start to build) some solid relationships and connections..people who will at least remember me and meet me for coffee if I’m in their city in a couple of months..people who will at least think of me if a project relevant to my skills comes up (because my skill set is slightly different from most people in the conference, there are some “interdisciplinary” projects for which I’ll actually be a really good fit).

    But overall, I just want to maximise my impact of entry into a new career field..I know this is a multi-year project of building relationships and work, which I’m willing to do, but I want to do it right. And if I can somehow swing a role helping to organise the next edition of the conference that would be even more amazing (I don’t care about credit or being paid or doing the crappiest work – it’s about being part of the organising team and getting my name known and building relationships).

    Thoughts? It almost sounds like pickup really..I need to open sets, DHV myself with personality, build rapport and “close” to meet for coffee/stay in touch. Just no sexualizing.

  16. @ ludiam0ndz: “Liberals have kicked ass not so much from driving the politics of hate/envy, but by appealing to common sense and reason.”

    It might surprise you to learn that Scribbler is a Liberal; but he knows the difference between a liberal and progressive socialist.

    ” . . . trad/cons lost the game cuz . . .”

    . . . there is little, if anything, either traditional or conservative about them.

    ” . . . the political majority.”

    Women.

  17. Geeze, Redlight, how about a little warning next time?
    And what is it that’s on fire in that pic? Never mind, I don’t wanna know.

  18. total money spent: 0 $

    HBs? : take your pick

    ….

    you need to learn how to SOLVE the social situations you’re in and CLIMB the hierarchy. if you’re there with multiple women you need to start trying to get free shit.

    Damn scray, that shit sounds like gold. Does YaReally already have a post up about that? If not, he should get it in his archives.

    I’ve still got to work on basic fundamentals, but I’ll keep this in mind for down the line.

  19. Aside: I realized a bit after posting the FR that I didn’t even reconsider my reply to that “fucked my dog” line (shit test?).

    Here are 2 I thought up
    a) “Does that mean you are a bitch?”, nuke reply but I don’t think that would be a clever play there.
    b) Stare her down and ask “Doggystyle?” is probably the winning reply there.

    @Scray: to be fair, like ASDGamer I am also married and not looking to bang anyone (other than my wife). Unlike him though I’m not even looking to do make outs (which if I recall he doesn’t rule out), and I also don’t like dancing that much.

    Add all that up and the dance floor is indeed a trap (particularly when it is in mosh pit mode).

    Next time I should start leading girls out instead of bringing girls in and dropping them there.

  20. @Pellaeon: I’ve read most of the YaReally archive. Plenty of posts alluding to similar tactics and approach, but not that particular one. I think that’s scray applying the same basic principles and developing his personal tactic.

  21. @sentient
    “errmmmm Common Thread is these are all clanish/tribal cultures that seek over and over to consolidate gains among their ingroup vs disperse among outgroups… thereby maximizing their impact/competitive advantage disproportionate to their demographics/populations…”

    I do not entirely agree.

    The Indian guy, he is ruthless and cunning but he has almost no in-group affiliation in his organization, for the first time in thirty years he only just gave his daughter a job, that she cannot really screw up. Beyond that his organization is totally “diversified” so to speak, a 100% meritocracy, you either make him money or you get fired, he doesn’t care what you are. He’s a dick, but he’s consistent.

    Persian family, it’s funny, just this last week they started ejecting their in-group employees, second cousins etc, in favour of a friend of mine (WASP woman) who I connected them with. They too are learning merit is better than tribal affiliation for some if not all roles. Their deals and investments are too big to fuck up because a cousin had to keep a job.

    Personally I am comfortable dealing with many different ethnicities and clans etc so I am happy to work with pretty much any of them. They all have stereotypical cultural trappings that one must be aware of. I make a point of trying to learn different cultural approaches to problems, both people cultures and corporate cultures. It’s actually one explicit point of differentiation for our company that we make a point of learning our clients cultures so we can be more effective team players.
    Your average SJW would excoriate me for “stereotyping” but having a shorthand of how people are likely to act given who they are is usually just good sense. It’s no different with our employees who are just as diverse. In my business I could not only work in-group even if I wanted to, I would never find enough staff and or clients to be effective. In my business you have to be smart and productive, my personal expectation is that you have to be an excellent communicator. I will trade communication skills for superior work ethic, ability to work in a team and productivity. My expectations of employees are no different than what I expect of other consultants like engineers. If I have an in-group preference myself anywhere it’s right there. A consultant on my team I will trend towards having someone who has an excellent command of English in both spoken and written terms. Engineering is extremely diverse but it means its also over represented with people who cannot speak the language for shit. When their communication is poor, mistakes happen, we all look bad so I won’t accept it. if someone has a brilliant engineer who has poor communication skills, I simply insist that they have a “handler” who can “translate” for them. It’s kind of like a linguistic version of dealing with a really spergy person. They have incredible skill but they need accommodations to fit with the team and maximize their effectiveness. A few ethnicities do not make for good consultants as generally they are simply too fucking pig headed or arrogant to get along with a team. Over time you can see them getting side lined if they don’t learn how to play with others productively.

    I don’t entirely disagree with your premise that there are tribal / clan affiliations that can drive business. Undoubtedly true but they are matters of convenience from what I can see. None of my clients would favour their own in-group say as a supplier if another clan can deliver far better service at less cost.

  22. @Culum Struan
    Would seem to me the easiest way to “open a set” is when you have one of the inevitable sessions where you are hearing a lecture etc, make sure you participate in the Q and A at the end of the session, get up and make a comment, or a question. Don’t be a wall flower. You have the benefit of being outside the group so you may have a fresh perspective to add. Use that to your advantage.
    Following the session, it may be that your question / comment will have spiked some interest and it will allow you to engage the speaker one on one or others in the audience who bothered to get up and visibly participate in a “session”. From there you can parlay into ever deeper connections if things go well.
    Because you are new, you have a one time pass to be slightly ignorant of the scene, so you don’t even have to be 100% intelligent, just ballsy enough to get up and participate. This could potentially make you more approachable too.

  23. @ kfg

    Women.

    the young. immigrants. minorities.

    Rule by the uninformed

    There was a political study done by liberals that said that old, conservative, native-born white men were the best informed. Their solution, of course, was to get their base to be better informed, not realizing that those who are better informed tend to vote more conservatively.

    Somehow, liberals never bring up that study.

  24. @ Culum

    Any tips or thoughts on how to work things socially to maximise results?

    Glom on to the project team that your old employer sends. Figure out how to bring value so that they will invite you to their stuff.

  25. Anybody wanna sign on to the idea that the Republican Party is run by extremists? lol

    Repubs are vying with Dems for who can pander more to women, minorities, immigrants, etc.

  26. Culum

    On your upcoming quest… it is just like pick up… You need to open, to DHV and know logistics…

    Some tips…

    Spend more time in the lounge, the break areas and especially the lobby bars… this is where connections are made.

    Be honest – tell people you are looking to get into the field and ask for advice, contacts what they would do now… People love to help people they get some connection with…

    Seek out the chodes and spread value… they are a valuable resource for information and have low social proof and skills… Instadate them! Have standing reservations each night for 4 or so at cool restaurants, know where the bars are… so you can BOUNCE these guys… this will be hyper effective on “associate level” or similar juinorish people… ones with enough time in the biz but not the juice yet… they do have lots of great intel… SO your chatting “you eat yet? No me either… Hey lets run to XYZ I have a table there. Cool.. you have some buddies yeah bring em!” then bounce to later spots… always finish at the hotel lobby bar, so they can intro you to more people

    The senior people, you are best off catching them reading emails or grabbing a drink in the bar, or hanging by the pool. They wont be in all the sessions, unless they are organizing or speaking… This is where you can make magic. [recently put a nine figure deal together talking to the guy who came in the bar to grab a burger before bed… was THE right guy at a company I knew a lot about… and he paid for my drinks lol!]… also the senior people will all be in tight groups, they have worked, competed with each other for two decades… lots of war stories, history etc. very hard to break into these groups at a cocktail reception because there will be very few pauses…

    Buuuuuut… catch some younger guys, be the cool guy who knows the area, take them out, show them a great time, ask for nothing from them but what you can glean [i.e. focus on giving value] and get contact details and stay in touch… If they are single, use your game skills to open sets and throw girls at them… can’t tell you how many guys I am tight with who I took out, got drunk, had an adventure or two and just kept in touch with… and these guys all feed me biz now that they are rising up to senior levels…

    Focus on being a cool value giver… you will do great…

    The meat of the meeting, bleh… waste of time…

    as Don draper says to Pete Campbell in the episode when they go to CA, “you wanna be the hundredth guy to shake somebodies hand?” as he advises Pete to set up poolside and have people come see him there…

  27. @Sentient @Blaximus RE: Trump

    I don’t see that Trump has “thrived in real estate in NY” for decades, or really any length of time. Truth is if I (or most folks of avg to above avg intelligence) had gotten a 200 million dollar inheritance, you’d see a whole lotta thriving too. If he’d invested that lump sump in a basic market index fund he’d have significantly more money than he has now. I dabble in Real Estate and trust me, it is not difficult when you have a yyyuuuuuuggggeee amount of capital like he started out with and a frothy as fuck megacity to dabble in. His returns over that time has been mediocre (in as much as anyone can actually tell what he’s worth, estimates which vary from 400 million to 2 billion)

    Trump is the poster child for the sleep deprived narcissist; he would make a poor president in almost every way I can think off. Of course he’s the perfect foil to Obama, a hot winded, thoughtless douchebag, hiding behind his “wealth” and generally making an utter fool of himself by appealing to the basest instincts of the morons that actually come out in public to support him. Lmao, look at the crowds of sullen in-bred mofos in his rallies, I don’t see hordes of females being gina tingled into voting for dude.

    You think the US is in decline now? Sheeiit, You can’t imagine what it will look like after 4 year of “tha Donald.” Recent history (Bush II) shows how little it takes to make shit 10 times worse. This dude is Alpha? Wtf are ya’ll smoking? Folks aren’t making sense. Elon Musk isn’t alpha but Drumpf is? really? c’mon kiddos. Three divorces? talking about his new born daughters tits and whether they’ll be nice like his first wife? Doesn’t seem very alpha to me.

    That he’s been able to get this far is a testament to how utterly retarded the rightwing base is. The madness is on both sides of aisle, but definitely the right is completely dominating this round of race to bottom stupidity.

  28. @ scray

    ya you will ‘DHV’ and then get some chick interested and then have nowhere to go because once you pull her off the floor the ASD goes through the roof.

    I’ve bounced women to another venue from the dance floor before. I don’t understand why you think that the ASD goes thru the roof.

    Try saying, “I’m just here to dance and have fun,” to alleviate ASD.

    Occasionally, I find that girls only want to dance with me. Like five dances in a row if I’ll let them.

    Right after dancing with one girl, I complimented her on her following. She replied in front of another man, “I let you do whatever you wanted with me.” Where’s the ASD? She was throwing herself at me.

    Maybe you’re thinking of grinding and other freestyle sexual shit. I’m thinking of lead/follow dancing with turns and other patterns. LF dancing is sensual and emotional, but not overtly sexual. Cooperative and engaging. Kino, sure, but lots of plausible deniability. Lead/follow dancing is socially kosher and G-rated.

    Please explain why you think that ASD goes thru the roof for dancing.

  29. @theasd, I’m all for lols and whot not, but you know i’m right about the trad/con idea failure = lost votes. Sheeit even with all the voter suppression and other tricks the GOP is basically unable to get enough support. Generally speaking good ideas are good ideas, regardless of who the voting demographic is, not to say folks don’t gravitate to free shit and vote accordingly.

    Both right and left offer free shit, the right just offers the free shit to large corporations and the wealthy, both of who don’t vote in large enough numbers (but with Citizens united, they’ll definitely vote with their pockets)

    Scrib is a liberal? hmm..couldnt tell from where I’m sitting, maybe in the classic sense of being fairly well read in various arcane subjects.

  30. @ForgetheSky First off….props for killing AA and going out and gaming the two sisters.

    The more you do this, the better you get at it and the less intimidating it becomes. I’m not sure why it’s intimidating. I approach so much now that I find I can say just about anything. You should have said: “Well, my birthday’s coming up, let’s meet back here for that and you can buy me a drink, what’s you number?”

    When she asks when your birthday is, give it…she’ll laugh and offer you her number.

    Practicing on the chubby waitress works in the same way stretching before a big run works.

    I would recommend that you sign up for special interest classes: language classes, some kind of hobby like photography….dance classes —anything that puts you into the natural proximity of hot girls with plausible deniability.

    That regular interaction will help you 1) gain a new skill 2) offer access without the pressures of AA. 3) offer a natural common conversation topic that you can riff off.

    I don’t go to bars anymore because I find the whole interaction off-putting. Even if you’re getting IOI’s a lot of the shit-tests still intimidate me and often the shit-tests are “shaming”: “Here to pick up girls??” kind of thing.

  31. @Forge: obviously not an expert (see my “Epic length FR” where I was starting from decent or even massive social proof/pre-selection and didn’t do much with it)… But you looked pretty solid there. False time constraint, settle down with them and so on.

    Experts please correct me if I’m wrong.

    Running out of things to say happens. Just stare at them with a smile. The awkwardness isn’t necessarily bad, sexual tension is supposed to be awkward. That should also force THEM to break the silence and contribute to the convo.

    The others have been saying “know your logistics” given the birthday thing if you knew about another place to go eat or whatever in the area you could try pulling them both there organizing the “Party” for them (I mean frankly a party just with the sister is a bit lame, you could tease them for that and “organize” some silly bullshit like going to a convenience store, buy a muffin, a candle and a lighter and make an instacake right there).

    Also even if you ejected for running out of things to say you really should have tried to go for the number at the end. At that stage you likely never see them again and now you regret not doing so, right? What would you lose? At most a bit of ego.

  32. @ Forge

    chatting up the bartender…good…why not chat up some more sets…even other men?…good you didn’t let AA cockblock you…you could have left the set and left yourself a return ticket…”I have a few questions to ask you, but they can wait til later”…bounce to a new set…chat…return…get up in the grill of both of them…flirt with both of them…”leave while you’ll still be missed”…bounce the sisters to a new venue where you get them heavily invested in going…gonna have to sell the venue to them…they have great spinacha dip or ritas or taco sunday or cool dj or cool bartender or whatever

    She had a bracelet tattoo I might have been able to initiate a bit of kino with

    Go for it…do a parlor game where the sisters lean against each other, angled, back to back…set up a beauty contest…lots of possibilities

  33. Ghandi who knew a thing or two about change, said it best-Be the change you want to see in the world.

  34. Ms. ludiam0ndz

    A liar and a shill… “Drumpf” really? Thoughts on Jon Stewart and Ralph Lauren?

    Even the WaPoop cannot match your libelous claim of $200M… But you being blind to the “truth” you tout… will never see it
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2016/03/03/trumps-false-claim-he-built-his-empire-with-a-small-loan-from-his-father/

    But really tell us what your real estate “dabbling” consists of and how exactly it compares to Trumps global projects? I’m all ears boaster…!

    You write like a millennial woman SJW… even your own sentences are contradictions…

    Elon Musk isn’t alpha but Drumpf is? really? c’mon kiddos. Three divorces? talking about his new born daughters tits and whether they’ll be nice like his first wife?

    Is this Emily?

    http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-03-11-1457709578-5978124-TrumpNYP-thumb.jpg

    Look forward to seeing your headlines… Or Musk’s… LOL

  35. @theasdgamer

    “I’ve bounced women to another venue from the dance floor before. I don’t understand why you think that the ASD goes thru the roof.”

    when, what year? did you fuck them? when, what year?

    I don’t -think- anything. it happens.

    you spike her in an environment that is super loose and non-judgmental (the dancefloor — anything goes) and then you take her off it back into the real world and suddenly you’re this guy she doesn’t know blah blah fucking blah.

    “Try saying, “I’m just here to dance and have fun,” to alleviate ASD.”

    K if I want to get them to my place to fuck, saying ‘I’m juts here to dance and have fun’ isn’t going to stop the ASD from flaring up when I try to move them to fuck. And it isn’t going to stop them from flaking, either.

    “Maybe you’re thinking of grinding and other freestyle sexual shit. I’m thinking of lead/follow dancing with turns and other patterns. LF dancing is sensual and emotional, but not overtly sexual. Cooperative and engaging. Kino, sure, but lots of plausible deniability. Lead/follow dancing is socially kosher and G-rated.
    Please explain why you think that ASD goes thru the roof for dancing.”

    it goes through the roof when you try to PULL off of the dancefloor and FUCK a woman.

    lead/follow/whatever…it’s the same shit: you’re spiking her in one environment that is very warm and then trying to take her OUT of it to move her somewhere else. the MOVE is what triggers the ASD and suddenly you’re a guy who could fuck her.

    like, think for a second. why do chicks go out dancing? it’s a SAFE way for them to be sexual (yes, even this lead/follow shit you think isn’t sexual is also sexual) because the environment that encourages it is very CONTROLLED — it’s a limited space. once you get off the space, the real world rushes back in, her friends rush back in, etc. to prevent her from making any ‘mistakes.’

    just pretend that the dancefloor is the upstairs room at a party with the locking door. while you’re in the room it’s all good and great who knows what she’ll do in there. once you leave the room, however, there are clear restrictions on her behavior. unfortunately, unlike the upstairs room, the dancefloor doesn’t allow for actual sex — instead, all you can do is grind (or do your lead/follow classy dance routines). so it’s a place where chicks can makeout and grind and be led by a man etc. without consequences….but once they step off of it, the real world rules apply.

    by your own admission you’re not out here trying to get laid, you’re more after validation. dancefloors for cold pulls are more trouble than they’re worth. if you like dancing, like I said, then go for it….

    @IAS

    “to be fair, like ASDGamer I am also married and not looking to bang anyone (other than my wife). Unlike him though I’m not even looking to do make outs (which if I recall he doesn’t rule out), and I also don’t like dancing that much.”

    okay….

    this is a headspace I don’t understand tbh.

    It seems sort of akin to the 30-something chick who wants to go out and have guys hit on her…..

    @Culum

    “Alright, IOI 1. I lean back slightly and let the smugness creep over me. Simultaneously I contemplate approaching and feel my balls slowly retract into my body. Fuck you, AA my old friend. Let me poison you with alcohol.”

    other PUAs discourage alcohol and shit and say it’s a catalyst blah blah blah. i say w/e works just don’t become an addict — you gotta get your kicks somehow. just change it up…sometimes do this, sometimes do that, sometimes do nothing.

    you know, her looking in your direction and looking away really is ambiguous. but you should assume the sale and just do an indirect approach.

    “Now I’m back to staring at walls. Fuck this. I finish all but one glass then get up and walk over to HB7.5 2-set. This is an easy open.
    “Hey there, I gotta go in a sec but I had to ask you how the food was here.””

    props for effort, but the art of indirect is plausibility. think about it from her point of view. there’s this dude standing there suddenly saying, hey i gotta go in a sec but is the food here any good?

    (ive done way more embarrassing shit and this isn’t even bad)

    next time, make up a story for yourself. let’s say you want to ask them about the food. just pretend you’re a journalist for a local magazine and you needed to do an article about this restaurant.

    notice that this grants you a lot of threads — you can talk about the food, you can talk about being a journalist, you can talk about the city, you can talk about you being a procrastinator. you want your conversations to become more interesting and more multi-faceted, you gotta lay some hardcore groundwork.

    but this set opens like gangbusters anyway, so…

    “Blows wide open. She gives me bambi eyes right off and puts herself right into the convo. She tells me how the food is, the cider, we bang back and forth. I tell her I just missed the kitchnThe other girl is quieter, but not in a disaproving way – she seems happy this is happening. I try to engage her a bit as well, but she keeps averting her eyes. Trying not to attract me to avoid jealosy? Shy?”

    or she just doesn’t really feel like talking to you. or she was having a convo with her friend and she’s like ‘great, X gets hit on by guys all the time and she just loves toying with their egos.’

    instead, if you were this journalist guy maybe she’d think ‘wow this guy has some value, we’re talking to a journalist, cooooool…’

    “Why are you here 10PM on a Sun night?” HB7.5 is taking her younger sister (the other girl) out for her birthday. “Congrats!” [clink glasses]. “21st?” Nope, 22nd. “Yeah, most 21st bd parties don’t end up looking like 2 girls at a quiet bar at 10PM.”
    Sooo…logistics look poor for SNL, might be able to swing it if they drove separately. But we’re probably looking for a solid #close here
    At this point I launch into a bit about how I was supposed to meet a girl here but she couldn’t make it but I wasn’t gonna let that stop me blabla and HB7.5 does this whole thing where she pushes out her lower lip and looks up with me with puppy eyes (BIG blue eyes, damn) and says ‘Awww! I’m sure she wasn’t worth it…’ then a nervous giggle and she flutters her eyelashes. In the moment I’m sure there’s somewhere awesome to go with that but I just shift gears and go into ‘I dunno, I think sometimes it’s hard for girls to go out’ and start talking about some of the shit Ya and I were discussing last thread about how Netflix and the internet have made it easy for everyone to be lazy and not go out, and she’s just like ‘I LOVE Netflix!’”

    https://media.giphy.com/media/WRMq4MMApzBeg/giphy.gif

    k well you start off by asking them a creeper question — do not ask creeper questions, just make up some reason why they’re there: it makes you look cooler and as you get better you’ll get more accurate in your cold reads, which DHV’s you.

    then you dog on their bday bash by essentially calling them lame lol

    THEN you start talking about how you’re supposed to meet a girl there but this girl FLAKED on you lol

    which causes the HB 7.5 to TAKE PITY ON YOU

    and THEN you launch into something that is a little heavy for a BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION (social commentary on netflix)

    yikes….

    “Truth was I was running out of things to say, and it was starting to feel like I had to end the whole friendly convo thing and make some excuse for the frame to shift to ‘we’re hanging out now’ instead of ‘I popped by to ask you X.’”

    yeah you weren’t giving them value.

    so….

    indirect game, try to build a story. add value.

    imagine if you were a journalist who came and talked to them — wow cool!

    then, instead of asking them a creeper question, you just paid them a joking compliment — mainly to the sister: so you guys getting your ducks in a row for the week, deciding which hearts to break and which ones you can let sit for 7 more days (yeah it’s cheesy as fuck but shit like this almost always works in this situ because the girls are there alone and young and you’re giving them value making them feel cool. cool guys GIVE VALUE), which could have led to an interesting thread about relationships which would have been CHICK CRACK

    then you find out it’s a birthday party and instead of indirectly remarking on how lame it is, try to at least tie it to SOMETHING…..’you guys aren’t out dancing on tables? psh, which one of you has the boyfriend?’ DO SOMETHING….

    then if one of them says something NEGATIVE about RELATIONSHIPS then you can add the thing about you were supposed to meet a girl there, EXCEPT SHE DIDN’T FLAKE. you TOLD HER NOT TO COME at the last minute because you decided she was a bitch or something idk….

    …..

    just open your mind a bit more.
    im saying a lot but you didn’t do bad at all.
    your first big ping with a two set like this will be talking about relationships and sex within like 15 seconds of meeting them. that’s a real easy way to open them up to where they’re doing most of the talking.

    “I am SO FUCKING GLAD I made myself go out. It was almost a daygame-like situ and the AA almost kicked my ass but I broke it and it was FUN. And I live 15 minutes from this place and I was door-to-door in 60-70 mins. That’s NOTHING.”

    just keep getting out there.

    start making stuff up. it really doesn’t matter.
    no one will get mad at you.

  36. @sentient

    I’m including the value of the trump brand at the time it was handed to him, that and other intangibles (connections, experience from watching pops first hand (assuming he was paying attention,) which is probably what his current wealth consists off. His pops had been slanging tenament buildings for decades. Yes I dabble in real estate. It’s a simple market for me and my area has a range of price points. It’s a completely different scale from trump tho sheeit can’t even compare.. But I’d turn 200 million in today’s dollars (prolly several billion) into more.

    lol calling me a SJW woman that’s rich.. Nah brah. I solicit ideas and decide which I like best. I disagree with some of the shit y’all posting and call folks out don’t take it personal brah.

    Lol you realize he prolly paid to get that story planted? Simpleton. I’d fuck his wife much better than he can. I’m positive,

  37. Ludiamonz

    “I’m positive” – HIV no doubt…

    Please share your source for “valuing” Fred Trump’s “brand”… as he was “slanging tenaments”… Like Samuel Lefrak [nom de guerre Le Frak]?

    ” But I’d turn 200 million in today’s dollars (prolly several billion) into more.”

    Oh really? So far less than Trump… Who started with less than $10M in capital… Let me know which lenders, among your “dabbling” experience, are paying cash on goodwill…

    You fuckwit.

  38. @ scray

    I’m very glad that you’re raising questions.

    ASD will flare up if you try to bounce a girl from one venue to another if there isn’t enough comfort built up. I’m basing this on my knowledge of girls. These girls feel lots of comfort with me. I teach them to dance. They are trying hard to please me. Very compliant. I generally avoid being overtly sexual with my students. Girls who are watching see other girls having a good time learning to dance with me. Comfort. Girls see hotties dancing “cuddly” with me. Girls see hotties tapping me on the shoulder as they pass by when I’m talking to other girls. Preselection & comfort.

    When a girl kinos my butt at the end of a dance, I know that her ASD is asleep. It could be that I’ve built my value up high enough that ASD will remain asleep for most girls. I’ve never seen much ASD from girls, including over 40 years ago when I did pickup. But I’ve always used indirect game, other than approaching girls to ask them to dance. I’ve been going out dancing for the last 2.5 years.

    What I do requires a lot of physical energy and a lot of approaches. Lots of DHV. Preselection and social proof and physical fitness and spatial intelligence and dance skill and agility and dance intelligence and social intelligence.

    I’ll dance for 3-5 hours with maybe 20-30 girls in an evening. Some are skilled dancers, but most are beginners whom I cold-approached.

    I guess I won’t know for sure unless I try to fuck them.

  39. These supposed reactions men have to feminism looks binary too, MGTOW or acquiesce. No I don’t think so. Be “tactful” explaining Red Pill truths? Wat? No, truth is truth. What is binary is the choice of wifing up Western sluts or finding Poosy Paradise in an Asian country, where women are still feminine and want traditional families. I can’t believe you mock men (and you do in your way) for not wanting to wife-up high cock count blue hairs. “Appealing to hearts and minds” is just the same strategy as cuckservatives, thinking they can win over Hispanic voters. No, tell the truth like a true shitlord, which can be done when a man no longer fears for his job. Mealy mouthing to some young buck won’t bring him over to your side. Acting like a badass confident Alpha who believes everything he says is the better strategy. Men (and women) will follow confident leaders, not mealy mouthed intellectuals. Who cares about the lesbians and fatties? They are self-limiting and dysgenic and will be gone in a generation or two.

  40. Haaaa you so funny sentient. You should def take up stand up comedy.. hiv positive! Lmao bravo my man, so witty!

    How does trumps penis taste in your mouth?

  41. Long time lurker, first time comment. I’ll keep it short and sweet. It is my firm belief that the only viable long-term solution is to break the female monopoly on human reproduction.

    All that is being described within the manosphere about female nature has its roots within this monopoly and the cycles which have occurred countless times before will continue to repeat. This is because just like within any entrenched (corrupt) monopoly, the monopolist will continue no matter what to serve only his/her interest rather than that of the market at large (humanity in this case).

    Break this and it’s game over, we become something other than Homo sapiens.

  42. A big part of the issue is men being conditioned to worship women and the ground they walk on. Let that sink in. Worship. Actual worship. Sexual deprivation is the flame and the social conditioning is the gasoline.

    It’s like a starving man being told he has to put on a dress and humiliate himself for food. He’ll do it. The biological urge, the biological NEED, is too great. Sustenance takes priority over self-actualization or even dignity.

    Is having a Beta perspective as your Mental Point of Origin much different from wearing a dress? Is it any less horrifying or repulsive to think about?

    I was looking back at some old journal entries from a couple years ago, and I feel humiliated. Making such a big deal out of just hugging a girl that I had ONE-itis for, who also LJBF’d me outright when I told her I was in love with her. There are hundreds of entries like this. Part of me just wants to go out back and light all that shit on fire, and I would, except it serves as a vital frame of reference for me, for what I never want to go back to ever again.

    I was so desperate for any kind of touch or affection or ANYTHING with a woman that even the slightest graze would send me into a tailspin that I felt compelled to write down so I’d never forget it. My deprivation was so extreme and so long-lasting that I held onto even the slightest interactions as strongly as I could, including having made eye contact with a girl, or anything like that where I thought they had interest in me, a moment of connection, anything.

    Again with the hunger and thirst metaphor: it’s like a man dying of thirst putting wet sand or mud in his mouth and sucking as much of the moisture out of it as he can. And he doesn’t even know how awful and degrading that is because his mind is so preoccupied with trying to meet his biological needs that he can’t PROCESS feeling awful or having no dignity. It’s all on the backburner, taking backseat to survival.

    That feels like another lifetime. And it was. But this is the state so many men are in today.

    Men who have never even had sex, and just spend an hour or two of their free time every single day jacking off to porn and leave it at that.

    I think back to how my entire teens went by exactly like that. Never even kissed a girl. I felt so crushed and hopeless that I felt like I had no other option than to resign myself to porn and masturbation for the rest of my life. I just gave up.

    Eventually, finding the PUA community and especially TRM here, things started changing slowly.

    And they’re still changing. Food metaphor: I actually went through anorexia, and it seems very similar to me. You start getting food, and having your needs met, but your body will overcompensate at first. Storing a lot of fat is very common for recovering from eating disorders, because your body is so traumatized from the extended calorie restriction that it will do everything in its power to prepare itself for a recurring episode in the future.

    Now I’m heavier than I ever was, with a higher body fat percentage than I ever had in my life. I’m feeling healthier, but it’s still a long road to healing my metabolism and restoring my health, including any unseen organ damage that comes along with self-starvation.

    Now that I’ve been having sex regularly, I’m doing better, but my entire way of relating to women is in the process of healing.

    I still feel guilt for wanting to fuck other women. I still feel guilt about the idea that men are naturally superior to women in the sense that women crave domination from men. Men are the leaders, women are the followers, and all that.

    The recovery is happening, and it’s going to take time. The fear of catastrophic loss is natural, too, which helps me deal with it. Just like the body holding onto fat in recovering from anorexia, finally having sex after years of deprivation, the psychological desperation that comes with the prospect of losing it is monstrous.

    The body is going into fight or flight and probably slowing down its metabolism to conserve energy, ramping up stress hormones and lowering testosterone, etc., to prepare for hell again. Not going out and living life and taking on challenges, but curling up into the fetal position and enduring inhumane abuse. The best way to prepare for that is to shut down completely and go into conservation/survival mode, not thrive mode.

    I’ve been feeling more of an abundance mentality lately. Saw a girl today, looked about 18-19. I’d love to fuck her. And that’s that. She walked by and gave a solid IOI, eye contact and a big smile.

    The old me would’ve gone and written some BS about wanting to be loved, wishing I could spend a day with her, or some other cringe-worthy thing, and then jacked myself off to sleep while having some gay fantasy about going on some kind of romantic adventure with her.

    But that’s where I was at the time. Softek 2 years later is leaving it simply at, as she was walking by I was thinking about bending her over my bed and pulling her hair and slapping her ass and making her scream while I was pounding her from behind.

    And then giving myself a little shit about it after the fact. tl;dr: I remember one of Mystery’s lines, “If you think you could’ve fucked her, then you could’ve fucked her.”

    But my predominant memory of that girl right now is how bad I wanted to fuck her. Lol. And at this point right now it isn’t about her AT ALL.

    What I’m focusing on right now, and what I’m feeling so good about, is that FEELING. Feeling masculine. The feeling of fucking a girl silly and completely dominating her sexually. Being the guy that a girl will get soaking wet for.

    Now that I have actual experience to back this feeling up, it’s getting even easier to tap into. I just replay memories where this girl DID get soaking wet for me, and I fucked her silly, and the feeling I had while doing it. It just starts to build on itself.

    Again, it’s not even about the women. It’s that feeling that I have. I am a man, after all. What I do is cultivate energy and project it out into the world. My life a couple years ago was very passive and feminine — wanting to take energy into myself and put NOTHING out into the world.

    i.e., survival mode.

    Anyway, those years and years of absolute HELL ON EARTH are a stark reminder to me of the reality of the times we live in. I had some especially severe problems, but the sexual deprivation? It felt extreme to me, but this is a LOT of guys’ experience. I thought I was unique. In a way it was more scary to me when I realized how common what I went through was.

    10+ years of incel? I have a friend my age who has never even kissed a girl in his life. It’s everywhere today.

    Actually, it’s MOST guys’ experience. I don’t know any guys but one or two that I’d say are even REMOTELY sexually satisfied. Or more than that, satisfied with their lives period.

    I’ll get off my soap box for now, lol.

    But the whole idea here of “Fempowerment” just reminds me of how emasculated men are in today’s world. Spending our time worshiping women, whether that’s through relentlessly jacking off to porn, or voyeuristically pining over women we pass by that we’re never going to fuck, or whatever. Just being passive, not getting in the way…

    …and patiently waiting, groomed and conditioned by society….for the post-Wall, post-party year girl to come along for us to marry them. Which men will be MORE than happy to do, after so many years of complete sexual deprivation and misery.

    Especially men that have never been sexually dominant, and are afraid to because it’s not ‘considerate’ (I was really surprised the first time I heard a girl ask me to call her a slut, or tell me how it made her wet how degrading it was for me to cum on her face, and she wanted me to do it again)…

    …had I never found TRM, I wouldn’t have even been aware of this shit. It actually never even OCCURRED to me to be sexually aggressive with women, or that they would be turned on by being demeaned/degraded in any way, like telling them to bend over and show me their ass, etc., any shit like that.

    But had I never done that, and had I not gotten this experience, I never would’ve known how well they respond to it. I could’ve been one of those guys who marries a girl and thinks it’s normal for them not to want to swallow, that it’s normal for them to be ‘uncomfortable’ with talking dirty, to be sexually repressed/reserved, etc….

    How can a guy know any better, or even know what sexual inhibition is like, if he’s never experienced sex without any inhibitions? Experienced firsthand what it’s like to see a woman respond to sexual dominance and raw, uncensored masculinity?

    I actually count myself EXTREMELY LUCKY to have only had to endure 10+ years of incel, and then experience the flipside, without being locked into a marriage or a pending divorce or some other shitty situation, and not having even gotten any good sex out of the deal (as if that would have made the situation any better, lol).

    Men need to start reclaiming their power more than ever.

  43. tl;dr: I was flipping thru a journal of mine tonight that I haven’t looked at since I wrote in it, and that’s what led to that post.

    I didn’t realize I’ve been on here for several years. The changes I’ve gone through are staggering, and I think I’m a great case study for how TRP can help change men’s lives…and how many men’s lives it has changed already.

    Shit is pretty bad as far as feminism goes, and how much ground it’s gained, but the pushback from TRP is significant. Enough to turn around a really fucking hard case Blue Pill scrub like myself. I can’t even believe my eyes when I read this shit, to think that in such a short span of time I went from pining over an LJBF ONE-itis (I can hardly understand “LJBF” anymore because the ‘friendzone’ as far as my personal life is concerned can never exist again, because it just isn’t something I do) …

    …to experiencing for really the first time in my life what it’s like to have sex as a dominant man. That first night that I ever had sex last year it was like a switch flipped. It was the culmination of a huge shift in my mentality.

    The LJBF from my ONE-itis at the time crushed me, completely destroyed me, and when I came back as a different version of myself (thanks to RM and the commenters here), I felt like I was on top of the world.

    I’m just waxing nostalgic here because I’ve been sifting through my personal journals from a couple years ago, and still, I can hardly believe it. Like, was that really me? Did I really think like that?

    The process isn’t over yet. Still a long way to go. A lot of times I just need time to think over these concepts until something ‘clicks’ and I feel like I’ve gotten some genuine understanding. I know now that also comes from direct experience too, and I’ll have to push myself farther out of my comfort zones.

    I don’t want to get too crazy here, just feels surreal looking back. I’m sure a lot of you here could say the same. Thanks again to everyone, and here’s to us all making even more progress this year.

  44. @Culum
    “Any tips or thoughts on how to work things socially to maximise results?”

    Same shit. Spread value, open people, introduce them to eachother, ask “how do you know eachother?”, be honest/congruent. Have business cards or whatever handy so they have an easy way to get in touch with you or be prepared to take theirs ’cause they’ll probably close YOU (old business dudes always want to give me their business cards lol). Easy stuff don’t stress it, just don’t get hammered and be social. These people have value to you because you want something from them, but understand that social skills are valuable to “normies” because they rarely see someone with them. Befriend the cute staff girls serving the conference if you can and introduce these old dudes to them if you get the chance. You are a king in this environment in terms of social skills compared to them, the only thing they may have is familiarity and you can just be honest about “I’m a bit nervous, it seems like everyone here knows eachother and I don’t know anyone here!” and 99% of people will be happy to introduce you to whoever they’re talking to.

    And listen to the other advice you’re getting, it’s all rock solid, especially the befriending the chodes stuff and bouncing them later (look up some nearby venues). Chodes are useful lol

    Usually there’s a social alpha or two you can befriend and get THEM on board with bouncing a group of dudes afterward and rally up the chodes with them so you guys have a group of you. You don’t even have to get them laid or anything, just talking to a girl in front of them or introducing them to the cute waitress in a charming “giving them props” way etc is great. You don’t have to take them to a nightclub or stripclub, even like a Hooters or just a place with cute waitresses is fine. If a bunch of sausage sits down at a pub they’re probably going to send the cute chick waitress to you lol Google for a pub with a dance floor, you don’t have to go ON it but those will usually attract the most potential for fun/adventure.

    Most of the time they’ll close you because it’s rare to them to meet someone who’s fun and cool in their industry so it’s a novelty to them to run into you and they’re like “man I gotta keep in touch with THIS guy”.

    Remember: people bond through SHARED EXPERIENCE, not EXCHANGING RESUME INFO. Julien puts it like: imagine you and I are dropped into the middle of the wild together and we’re allowed to talk but the ONLY thing we’re not allowed to talk about is anything personal about ourselves. We can’t tell eachother our name, our job, about our lives or our families or hobbies or anything, no personal info, and we have to get back to civilization. We’re hacking through the bushes, getting attacked by wildlife and surviving, you fall off a cliff at one point and I catch you by the hand and pull you back up, and we finally make it back to civilization…you think we aren’t going to be bros for LIFE after that??? Even though we don’t know ANYTHING about eachother?

    That’s WHY all the real networking happens in the lounge part of the conference, or after the bosses leave (plan to stay till the end, people loosen up once the higher-ups bail), or at another venue, or on the golf course, etc That’s where guys are sharing experiences. Women don’t understand this because they want to just see resume info to screen out who’s worth their time or not and solipsism makes them think we’re the same way, that’s why they don’t “get” that in certain corporate cultures you should learn to play some fucking golf if you want to get ahead and they think that’s unfair lol

    Remember ALL of these people, men and women, are the same people you see at the bars. They just have their Adult Facade on for the night. If you can break them out of that so they can loosen up and be themselves, they’ll bond with you way more than exchanging resume info Facade to Facade.

    @Pellaeon
    “Damn scray, that shit sounds like gold. Does YaReally already have a post up about that?”

    Nope, that’s just what happens when you go out a lot and throw yourself 100% into pickup…you start seeing the loopholes of social interaction and figuring out where you can combine the things you understand about how this all works and come up with shit like that. Most guys reading what scray wrote will go “wtf?! I’d never even THINK of that!!” but they would if they went out as much as scray lol He probably doesn’t even think it’s a big deal, it’s just a logical thing to do based on what he understands about how all these dynamics work, from GOING OUT REGULARLY lol Like he says, he’s just “putting the pieces of the equation together”.

    “If not, he should get it in his archives.”

    Ya, cutting and pasting it here for the archives ’cause it’s solid. Scray VIP Game:

    “you need to learn how to solve clubs tho.

    put the pieces of the equation together.

    here you are, hanging out with 3 WOMEN.
    i don’t think you understand what kind of currency that is in a club.

    this weekend i was out with four young hotties ages 22-25.

    disclaimer:
    working with chicks to set anything up is a nightmare lol esp if you have slept with more than one of them — but it’s just one of those things….

    annnnnyways….

    when you show up with multiple young cute women, the next step is just finding a group of chodes who have bottle service, getting in on the game (yes, you are engaging in a trade — girls for a nice place to sit)

    now you have a nice spot in the club with someone else footing the bill.

    HERE IS THE KEY:

    just go out and get more girls.
    leave a few there with the chodes, take one hottie (or roll solo) and just run some game OR, you can be lazy like me and just toss the ‘hey we got a bottle’ line

    ‘but scray, isn’t that settling into a provider frame?’

    why yes it is….

    ….UNTIL i get her there and she realizes i’m not paying for shit and that these dudes just are dropping so much money and letting me share because i bring women and that most of the women there know me and holy shit i waited to drop this bomb and insanely DHV myself until me and her are in this micro-environment where i have super status and insane social proof…..

    …oh wait, here comes the bouncer who KNOWS me and always sees me at a table with hotties….

    …oh wait here comes the promoter who sees the same (and these are high value guys) and are shaking my hand and shit ‘this fucking guy, always with the chicks….i don’t even know why they like you…’

    honestly it’s fucking stupid. so I DHV then ROLL OFF (usually to go try and fetch another chick), and then just take my pick….

    total money spent: 0 $

    HBs? : take your pick

    ….

    you need to learn how to SOLVE the social situations you’re in and CLIMB the hierarchy. if you’re there with multiple women you need to start trying to get free shit.”

    @redlight
    Jesus Christ. You owe me new eyes.

    @scray @theasdgamer
    ehhh, dance floor can be done as long as you’re AWARE that there’s going to be a state shift/crash (the way scray is describing) when you take her off the dance floor and are prepared for that. Like most guys get blindsided by it, they grind away on the dance floor and think “great we’re at an escalation level of like 7/10 right now, so when we get off the dance floor I can treat her like we’re at 7/10” and then don’t know wtf happened when the girl is like “wtf no that was the DANCE FLOOR buddy, out here we’re at like 1/10, you’re starting over” and because they don’t understand a crash is coming they keep trying to treat her like they’re at 7/10 and so of course she runs off.

    But if you understand that the dance floor is a fantasy land then it becomes the exact same thing as being in the club at last call (fantasy land) to the staff flipping on the Ugly Lights and killing the music (snapping back into the real world), or pulling from the club (fantasy land) to outside or a bright food joint (real world), or pulling from the club (fantasy land) to your apartment where you forgot to leave music playing and left bright lights on (real world), or making out at the club (fantasy land) then you go on a Day2 and the girl is ice cold when you meet her (real world), or even pulling and banging (fantasy land) and then waking up in a quiet room in the bright morning sunshine (real world).

    All of those situations involve state shifts/crashes too but you handle them all the same way: EXPECT them to happen and calibrate back. If you meet a girl on the dance floor and grind it up, COOL, but EXPECT that when you cross the edge of the dance floor back into the real world, lower your kino and PRO-ACTIVELY go into normal game mode as if she was a cold approach you just met outside of the dance floor. Like mentally “start over” and leave everything that happened on the dance floor ON the dance floor, even if you were making out and shit. Basically BE COOL and quit humping her leg like a horny dog off the dance floor lol SHOW her that you can calibrate and tone it back and that you understand the dance floor is a fantasy land and that she’s “not that kind of girl” etc etc

    It’s do-able but I’m old and white with no rhythm and don’t enjoy dancing at all (I don’t like sweating at the bar) so I avoid the dance floor entirely these days lol but when I was younger I loved grinding it up and I have buddies who are big into dancing (all sorts of styles, some are better for pickup (like the lead/follow dancing) than others (wannabe asian gangstas breakdancing solo in the club, wtf are you doing you homos lol).

    The key is mainly in how sexual the dancing gets and the venue vibe. At a swank high-end classy venue where the girls worry about their reputation, the dance floor will still get sexual later in the night but that shit ENDS the second you walk off the dance floor and often it’s mainly when you’re in the middle not the outskirts (ie – they feel like not as many people will see them slut it up). So you can be like 7/10 dancing and then have to drop to 0/10 being purely social (hands OFF, even) once you leave the dance floor. At a raunchy shithole club you can sometimes carry a lot of the sexual shit off the dance floor but you still usually have to tone it back, just not AS much because the vibe of the place is more “we’re all here to fuck anyway”, but like, ASD is always a thing to calibrate to, even slutty girls want to feel special and respected lol But that can look more like 7/10 on the dance floor and then like, 5/10 off it.

    At a country venue like theasdgamer goes to where it’s lead/follow dancing, there’s very little visibily sexual raunchy shit going on during the dancing (aside from an ass grab here and there) so there’s a lot of plausible deniability built into the style of dance…it’s a lot easier to go from dancing to hanging out in that kind of environment because you’re never really getting that sexual (though you’re getting to display dominance/leading which is a bit sexual) so you’re only like 2/10 on the dance floor so when you get off the dance floor you don’t really have to lower it because you’re already down at 2/10. That’s part of why he can dance with taken girls and guys will send girls to dance with him, ’cause it’s pretty harmless looking and if the guy himself can’t dance well but she loves it it’s usually pretty safe to let her dance with guys in this style because most guys don’t know how to take it anywhere and isolate the girl and escalate on her, they’ll just dance with her and hand her back. Got a buddy who used to clean the fuck UP at those venues with that lead/follow dancing shit ’cause he would take the girls to get a glass of water after the dancing workout and that’s where he would run normal game and isolate/escalate etc lol

    And yes you can fuck girls on the dance floor and get handjobs and finger them and shit lol Crowded clubs at least. But that shit is ON THE DANCE FLOOR, in fantasy land, not the “real world”, so expect a state shift/crash.

    The best way to view it mentally is to imagine you’re at your girlfriend’s family dinner…you’re fingerbanging her in the hallway but the second you two come around the corner to the dining room you become Gentleman McNiceGuy for her family who would judge her. She KNOWS you can fingerbang her, you don’t need to demonstrate that anymore, just back off and BE COOL. When I do occasionally end up in those situations these days (’cause I go to the kiddie clubs lol) I’ll drop all kino entirely and just meet her friends as a cool social guy and even ignore her a bit etc, just to show her that I “GET it”, that even though we got it on on the dance floor that was a fantasy and she knows from that that if I get her alone we’re going to fuck so there’s no need for me to kino her with her friends around.

    The only purpose of kino is to show her that you’re comfortable touching her and getting physical and sexually escalating, like THAT’S the point of kino. She isn’t getting super turned on by your hand on the small of her back, like it can be nice/hot/sweet/dominant that you touch her like that and that’s attractive, but like, touching her shoulder when you stress a point isn’t making her wet lol Kino is just to show that you’re comfortable getting physical with girls. So when you’ve demonstrated that, you don’t NEED it anymore. As I’ve mentioned before, part of why I don’t really need kino these days is because I convey that I’m comfortable with getting physical/sexually physical with girls through the stories I tell (ABOUT getting physical/sexual) and my subcomms (laser eyes, unreactiveness when she touches me, etc). I’m still flipping the same switch. If I didn’t have those things then I would have to go back to kino’ing more.

  45. @Forge the Sky
    Well done and props for going out solo and opening. Most guys would have finished their beer and left, or ordered another beer and let AA build up even more until they’re 3 beers in, still haven’t opened, the girls have lost attraction because he didn’t man up and open them when the window was there, and go home frustrated, drunk, and out a bunch of money. You can’t THINK your way out of Approach Anxiety, you gotta take action and FORCE your way out of it.

    So massive props. And yes that chick was into you, why WOULDN’T she be? She’s celebrating her 22nd birthday alone with her SISTER…she’s not with a bunch of her friends with her boyfriend on her arm lol Why WOULDN’T she want to meet and have an adventure with some cool guy who sits down with them? Why wouldn’t they BOTH want the company?? What could two sisters POSSIBLY be talking about that they don’t want to be interrupted about, that they haven’t been talking about all day/week/month, and won’t resume talking about later when they go home together…you are WAY MORE INTERESTING than their boring life at that moment lol

    THAT SAID, now I’m gonna lecture you lol:

    “After that the convo went smoothly and well, but no real spikes. Truth was I was running out of things to say, and it was starting to feel like I had to end the whole friendly convo thing and make some excuse for the frame to shift to ‘we’re hanging out now’ instead of ‘I popped by to ask you X.’”

    Huh…no real spikes. That’s weird, they should just magically happen. And running out of things to say? That’s unusual, I thought you did improv comedy for the last 20 years so you would be able to just riff gold endlessly.

    If only there was SOME WAY to solve both of these problems…some way to have things to say, and for those things to be things that spike attraction.

    hmmm………….

    O SHIT. ROUTINES!!!!

    lol.

    You’re not the first guy to be like “man, that was a great conversation, but there were no real attraction spikes, and I ran out of stuff to say”. That’s ALL GUYS, EVERY TIME, lol

    Here’s what a Field Report from mid-2005 looked like:

    “So I opened the girl with Who Lies More, then she mentions it’s her birthday so I go into Birthday Sex and transition to my stack: Badass Kid, Jealous GF, Best Friends Test and now the sister is laughing her ass off with here so I do Powerpuff Girls and transition to The Cube on the birthday girl–”

    Here’s what a Field Report from 2016 looks like:

    “So I went up and was like “hey what’s up”, and then it was awkward for a minute, I asked how their night’s going and they said it was their birthday…and then I was like that’s cool so how’s the food here, and then they weren’t really super receptive so I cheersed them and walked away to write this Field Report.”

    lol I’m not picking on you specifically, this is most guys who don’t sit down and plan out and practice/rehearse routines (until they get good enough at improv (from going out a ton and being forced to improvise and create common personalized responses to various common situations so they don’t have to think about it consciously)).

    Each of the routines I mentioned in the first example would be something that’s a strong emotional open-ended hook question (“Who lies more, men or women?” is a HUGE emotional subject for women and it’s not a yes/no question so it opens the floor for tons of potential topic threads to come out), or a super interesting story that followed by asking for their opinion/advice on the situation (“My buddy’s GF found a shoebox filled with photos and shit from his ex girlfriends and she lit it on fire” (these days I would change this to the girl finding a USB or his Facebook messages and deleting them lol)).

    Or a solid DHV story with a build-up and punchline (“this kid was dressed like a little badass and my girl was like omg he’s so adorable so I was like “high-five, kid!” and held up my hand…and he flipped me the middle finger!!! lololz”) that can be shortened for chaotic situations or extended super long for sit-down situations like you were in. Some routines/stories would go on for like 10-20 minutes lol Or at least put you in a wheelhouse of topics where you can bounce around for that long. Like if I lead the conversation toward sex I can pull out random sexual topics for an hour to keep the set going…

    But the conversation isn’t going to just MAGICALLY go to sex, I have to have ways to LEAD it there, so I have little hooks in my stories that if they jump on them I can easily transition into sexual topics, or little keywords they say that I can transition off of. Or I can just shift gears entirely “hey so check this out, bla bla–” and just frame control the random topic shift so that no one cares.

    Your brain is GONNA freeze up in set. Especially sober in a 2-set solo in a venue like that. But picture Mystery sitting down with them…that dude would keep the conversation going for HOURS, just pulling out all his routines and stories and lacing the conversation with multiple threads for the girls to go “but what about the–” to help keep the conversation going themselves and shit.

    And you should have routines for transitioning to a solid close or isolation or escalation. You’re probably not gonna make out with her in front of her sister in a venue like that, unless like, you frame it as an asexual birthday kiss and even THEN the % of that working out is low as fuck until you have them both super attracted to you. So what ELSE can you do in that situation? What kind of solid number can you GET? Why NOT hang out with them for the night? Why NOT order another beer, because you’re in the middle of an interesting story (because you have some DHV story routines locked & loaded right?) and THEY want you to stay to hear the rest of the story. Who knows, maybe the sister will fuck off an hour later and leave the two of you alone once she thinks you’re cool and her sister has girl-coded her “I want this birthday present!!!” And if not, hey, invite them to the bar/club next week and now you’ve got two cute girls as social proof for the venue and potentially can work the birthday girl again in a better venue for escalation.

    LOOK AT ALL THESE POSSIBILITIES lol

    But you have to PREPARE. Plan ahead. Get out a piece of paper or open up a text file and write out a few cool stories that have happened to you that make people laugh when you tell them. Now sharpen them up, where can you add DHVs, which parts do people find boring, where can you tweak the truth a bit to make it have better impact or DHV better, what can you transition into this story from and where can you transition TO with it?

    You’re GOING to keep running into girls with birthdays, especially with summer coming, birthdays and bachelorette parties are going to be HUGE for the next few months.

    Like real-talk: if you’re a guy sarging and you DON’T have a few go-to routines for opening and working/taking over/converting to pivots for the night/etc bachelorette parties with summer approaching, then WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING INFIELD?? Go play the fucking lottery if you want to gamble lol

    A PUA walking into a venue and seeing a girl with a birthday sash and a bachelorette party beside them should have the biggest goddamn smile on his face because the universe just sent him THE BEST OPPORTUNITY OF HIS LIFE, because he has go-to routines/openers/etc for how to work both those groups of girls who are there to HAVE FUN and meet FUN GUYS and get sucked into your fun, and that kind of social proof will make you the king of the venue because you already have go-to routines for how to USE them and transition from them to other girls etc

    This is chess, not checkers. Sit down and WRITE OUT some routines in various categories, have a few go-to openers, a few DHV stories, a few cold reads you love using, a few isolation excuses, a few solid Day2’s to time bridge with if you have to do a number close, a few ways to figure out her logistics, a few extraction excuses, etc etc PLAN THIS SHIT. And rehearse it in front of the mirror or when you’re walking around your apartment that has no girls in it cooking your dinner that you’re going to eat by yourself instead of with a girl lol

    It’s all right here for you, for free:

    http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Create-a-Personalized-PUA-Routine-Stack&id=8138025

    http://www.venusianarts.com/how-to-write-dhv-stories/

    ohhh, wahhh, routines aren’t NATURAL, bro (even tho all Naturals end up telling the same stories and using the same comebacks over and over aka routines), NATURAL is the way to go!! DIRECT is the way to go! Go NATURAL BRO!!!! You have no experience cold approaching girls but just PULL WIZARD MAGIC OUT OF YOUR HAT!! After that go throw the winning touchdown on Superbowl Sunday without having done any training! WHY NOT!!

    The reality is you don’t really know how to take things from “hello” to “sex” consistently. Scray DOES know how to do that now, so he can wing a lot of shit. I know how to do that now, so I can wing a lot of shit. But we put in the HOURS to get there. That’s not you yet. So use structure and plan and use routines and become more efficient at DHV’ing and have a stack of shit to pull from to keep a conversation going and LEAD it somewhere (to a solid close or lay). It’s OKAY to be a PUA ROBOT for a while till you’re consistently pulling lol

    Like oldschool Tyler in the Tyler Digest says: “Look at the PUA Mystery. Does he piss people off with that attitude?? YES. But who gives a fuck??? While everyone else is moaning and groaning, he’s busy busting his load on the face of the latest covergirl(s) of Penthouse Magazine, or whatever flavour of the week it is this time.”

    I’m gonna start quoting some Tyler Digest right now, ’cause it’s important that any guy sarging understand this shit and get that Tyler and all of us went through the same fucking process new guys are going through now except that we had LESS resources and support and encouragement available. This shit is from the early-2000’s, ASF was basically the original main message board:

    (@Softek pay attention to this too, so you understand we ALL wrote down excitedly that we made eye contact with a girl or a girl actually TOUCHED us (OMG!!!) etc etc, personally I never even kissed a girl or held hands with one (or touched one at all, really) till I was like 23 or 24):

    OK, one of the most COMMON experiences that someone who is undertaking the goal of becoming a PUA will face, is the harsh realization of just HOW FAR you are of your actual GOAL.

    THE PUA TRANSITION PROCESS:
    -learning to give intense EC to a chick
    -learning to initiate a chat
    -learning to initiate a chat without pissing your pants
    -learning to ask for a #
    -realizing that those are flakes, and pinpointing why
    -learning to correct that, through projecting value onto yourself
    -learning to EXPLOIT the interest that you generate by structuring future interactions
    -learning to phase shift, and close during the first interaction, or during the ‘get-together’
    -learning to disarm LMR

    You read ASF. You start giving chicks a bunch of eye-contact. You learn to chat girls for 2 seconds. You learn to chat girls for 5-10 minutes. You learn to ask them for their #. You get it. You’re ESTATIC. But then you realize that these #s are FLAKES.

    DAMN, that part SUCKS. I fucking HATED that shit. I remember the first girl I got a # from, I gotone-itis for SO FUCKING BAD that my heart pounded through my chest when I called her. Iremember sitting in my backyard of my country house, staring over the open field, thinking how Ishould just RELAX, and that no matter what happened, I’d still be me, and I’d still have my wholelife ahead of me, etc etc etc..

    She called me back a week later and told me that she had a boyfriend, but would still go out withme.. WTF??? I just KNEW that this chick had probably chatted ALL WEEK to her friends abouthow she should get out of this fishy ‘get-together’ that she’d agreed to. Here I thought that thischick was a potential FUTURE WIFE, and all that she thought of me was like basically what Ithought of fat chicks who had tried to hover around me in the past. HOW could she not FEEL theCONNECTION that we had????

    The thing was, that I had CREATED this connection in my own MIND. Despite having found ASF,I still had retained the BELIEF that there was a girl out there for me, and that I wouldn’t need to become a full-blown PUA in order to find her. AFTER ALL, I still was LIGHT YEARS ahead of most guys, just for having FOUND and attained a rough UNDERSTANDING of ASF concepts. I wouldn’t need to become an ASF fanatic just to find the right chick for me, and I could settle andfocus on other things

    So still, I continued getting #s which I convinced myself were SURELY the girls that I could justSETTLE with, and therefore assumed MAJOR value on them. I tried stuff like taking a shit whilephoning, which is proven to naturally relax you. I’d do shit like phoning while I was DRIVING, soI’d have to focus on something else while I called.. damn, that shit was a fucking DRAMA FEST.

    EVERY TIME that I’d get a #, I’d tell myself “OK, all I need is for this ONE chick to go OK, and Ican KEEP her and MARRY her.. then I never have to go through this again..”.. My relationshipmanagement skills were always very strong in the past, because I’d read “The Rules”, and “The Artof Seduction”.. So I knew that if I could just get a decent chick, that I COULD keep her, since my past relationship had gone very well

    So I’d put SO MUCH VALUE on the outcome of a #, which always would turn out to be FLAKE

    DAMN, that shit sucked.. All that I could think of was how here I had this HUGE EMOTIONALCONNECTION to whatever chick I’d #closed, and HOW could she not feel it too??? How theFUCK could this chick not even care enough about me to ever SEE me again??? What the fuck was wrong with ME??? I couldn’t even get a quality #close from a chick WORSE looking than me!!

    (this part is for @scribblerg):
    Then I came to the REALIZATION. I realized that I am UGLY. NOT good looking. It all made perfect sense. See, in the past, I hadn’t DONE approaches. I could say shit like “any time that I wanted a chick, I could get her.. I just don’t want those slutty chicks that are always ‘hooking-up’…” So I could always RATIONALIZE that if I did approaches, OBVIOUSLY they’d go just likein the Hollywood movies, and I’d totally pick the chick up, since I’d only try to pick up a chick that was “worth my time”. But NOW, I’d actually DONE approaches, and they weren’t WORKING.Chicks who were UGLY didn’t want to go out with me, which was clear indication that I must beeven UGLIER than the ugly chicks.

    To add insult to injury, I started realizing that my HAIR is falling out. You can’t see it now whatsoever, unless you look really carefully under the right lighting. But YEP, it IS happening. It will be a few more years yet, but I WILL go bald. To THIS DAY, the FIRST thing that I do every morning when I wake up, is take a mirror up to my head and look in morbid fascination to see if my hair is falling out. It is a CONSTANT REMINDER that I am growing old, and that I WILL DIEsome day. It is BEYOND my control

    So that raised the question: If I can’t meet girls NOW, what the FUCK am I going to do in a few years when my hair line is FALLEN OUT??????????? No, actually wait.. sorry, scratch that.. Whenmy hair has MIGRATED to my BACK.

    It’s a TOUGH to acknowledge that you’re not good-looking. Before you’d ever tried PU, you couldrationalize it through your past GFs and shit like that. But now, it’s so IN YOUR FACE that you’renot desirable to women. To be honest, even after all the success I had in the past year, I’m STILLUTTERLY SHOCKED that HB9s are interested I me now. When I’m getting with a new chick, I’mthinking “WTF is this chick THINKING????? Is she RETARDED?????”

    But the thing is, to just GO WITH IT. APPRECIATE that you’re a GUY, who is judged by his ATTITUDE and ACCOMPLISHMENTS, and not a chick who can NEVER escape her looks. I wantto say ONCE and FOR ALL, that LOOKS DO NOT MATTER ONE FUCKING BIT when it comes topickup. I say this more to re-affirm it to myself, than for others. But what I’m saying is the REALSHIT. (we’re assuming that grooming/style is a given here, though, bros)

    So WHY was this REALLY happening?? Because I was focusing on a NATURAL, LOW RISK way of #closing. My main goal wasn’t to PROJECT VALUE onto myself, so that she’d want to see me again.. Instead, it was to ask for the # in a way that wasn’t EMBARRESSING.. My goal was to WORK THE #CLOSE INTO THE CONVERSATION NATURALLY, instead of PROJECTING VALUE ONTO MYSELF

    (for @Forge the Sky (and everyone)):
    So the thing is, if you want to become not only a guy who can get laid, but also a PICKUP ARTIST, then you need to find STRATEGIES of CONVEYING VALUE to a chick during the PICKUP. If you want to be a PUA, there is usually NOTHING that you can’t usually do during the INITIAL interaction, that you couldn’t do over weeks of emails

    One GREAT way to do this was discussed in my “How to sarge, actually for real” post – where I discuss projecting value right from the opener, through the ball-busting, rapport, and kiss-close.See, when you project value in your OPENER, you are OFF ON THE RIGHT PATH. Then, when you BUST HER BALLS with PUSH/PULL (you’re my new GF… actually NO you aren’t.. wait, yes you are.. let’s get married.. no wait, we can’t), you project the value of beingconfident/funny/exciting/daring/flirtatious.. So ONLY THEN will she want to get to know youand start TRYING to get rapport with YOU”

    I’mma just leave the keys to the kingdom here for anyone who wants them lol:

    https://www.scribd.com/doc/276760/Tyler-Durden-The-Tyler-Digest

  46. @sentient did you even read the article you posted? My figures were much closer to reality than yours. But methinks you’re not interested in reality, Seems like you like hearing yourself bloviate. I’m kinda supervised that find tha Dons business success impressive! Cast your vote as you see fit. Lol.

    And yeah I realize mad immigrants changed their names to assimilate more readily, thats not a slight, I’ve had fam that have done the same thing, my point is drumpf is funny to me. Donald drumpf say it out loud a couple times. So yeah keep snackin on Donald’s Dick, you thin skinned, short fingered vulgarian.

    @softek amen brah. Kaizen all tha way. Another milestone will be your first threesome and the first single night fuck with a bad bish. I sense it will be soon at your rate of improvement lol.

  47. What exactly do you mean by “tax dollars go to fund the consequences of women’s legislated rights to Hypergamous choice”?

    I found it: Your previous Red Pill Monthly Youtube podcast (with Niko). You mentioned the government spending billions to protect women from domestic violence.

    More generally, women favor higher social spending and redistribution. But this is not exclusively a gender thing.

  48. Feminism’s root – “I feel I am an underclass and that practice is not congruent with the society’s current zeitgeist.”

    I have no problem with this thought.

    Feminism today – “As a woman, I feel I am entitled to all the experiences a man has plus all of mine.

  49. ^^ mistake post… ^^ Feminism today, “As a woman, I feel I am entitled to all the experiences a man can have plus all the experiences I can have.”

    That one I have a problem with.

    I am a man who is 5,7. It is not reasonable for me to wish I was 6 feet tall.

    It is not a good use of time to be pursuing 6 feet.

    As Epictetus said, “Do you want to be a wrestler? Examine your body, is your body fit for the job? Are you prepared to train under compulsion, to eat only what the trainer says, and you must be prepared to eat sand during training. If you are fit for it then sure…If you are not then you are merely a child playing with roles.” Paraphrase

  50. @scribblerg

    Excellent and thought provoking post. I have argued in my own little corner of the world that essentially, “counter co-opting” is the only option left. If more men in Europe (who are almost irreligious anyhow) co-opted Islam, while still living in the modern world (think Iran, but better infrastructure), this can all be brought back under control. Same in the US eventually.

    As you point out, perhaps not meaning to highlight this, but the Left never “fought” to win over Academia, or “the Government”, they simply co-opted all these entities over time, by sheer numbers, going along to get along, etc.

    I am Muslim by choice, going back decades, long before we were thrust upon the cultural battlefield (feminism, the Left)…when we were still, as men, “Alt.right” etc, back in the camp, forging for food, lumber and raising our children. But in the last 10 years, FIVE years, we have been thrust as men, as “traditionalists” to the epicenter of this cultural battle–one that swirls around the heads of most “brown” or Muslim immigrants–who have their own communities, colleges and male/female bathrooms–without apology.

    It may be time that men consider converting to the one faith that actually respects me–tradition, and separatism from the filth of Western society. I can ASSURE you that if you are Muslim, regardless of color, just about ANYWHERE in Western culture, you can pretty much say whatever you want, and are almost completely immune to criticism in professional settings, for example. The Left has ceded so much to the “exotic stranger” that when you co-opt the essentials of that stranger, you become one too, and all that comes with it, including absolute DEFERENCE as to your likes, dislikes, family culture, personal interests and political beliefs.

    History rarely unfolds as we predict or want. The latter informing our ideas of the former in most cases. The truth is, the “boiling point” as you note, has already been reached and things aren’t “going back to how they used to be” based upon a European-oriented, socially liberal model. Sharia law will be the correction to the cancer that is feminism, as well as crime and everything else. Because it is a model for society. There will still be winners and losers, but it will completely annihilate all the Left has achieved to destroy the family–and men.

  51. Bo Jangles – Ghandi who knew a thing or two about change, said it best-Be the change you want to see in the world.

    reminds me of a story…

    @culum Struan – some further observations on cadence and day game for you.

    In my local coffee shop. One thing I’ve started doing much more of is being ‘open” to new interactions and this starts with your positioning and body language. So if for example there is a counter, take a seat facing away from the counter, toward the room. Try and position yourself near the flow of people or where they will congregate. Don’t look at your phone. Be open to the room. Much easier to engage people, observe IOI’s etc. And open everyone who comes to sit by you.

    So I am doing this and open a mid 30’s married women with “your profile, it’s the exact same as my buddy’s daughter. ” which leads to how often she comes here (not seen before) because he is usually with me and I want to point her out to him etc. She is all smiles, gets her coffee and splits. 90% of women you speak to enjoy the interaction, even if it’s not going to go anywhere.

    So now I am by myself and break my rule above to be open and turn to face the counter and read my phone. Of course I miss a tall slim 20YO hippy girl with a nose ring (running into a lot of these recently) , who has taken the stool next to me. LOL. Put my phone down and see she has a bag with “be the change you want to see in the world” written on it. Perfect. Convo goes like this:

    M:So what kind of change do you want to see in the world? (incidentally this is a great open question that probes dreams and is emotional) with full eye contact.
    H: Ohhhh. (a little flustered) Ha hahahaha. I guess I’d like to see the regime in North Korea overturned.

    So this is a unique response and we get into how she would go about it (lame) and that she is in college nearby and is an International Affairs major. I tease her if The Interview was the best vehicle to attempt this change, So she is laughing at this,and I tease her about James Franco… Then she turns around to me, and this is the part you may find interesting, the pacing, the story telling, the routine (which I plan on using again with the same opener) – and asks me what kind of change i would like to see in the world. I have my coffee on the counter, which is a great prop and a great way to take focus off and put focus back on you and helps with the pacing.

    M: I guess I would like to see more honesty in the world. Right? [eye contact, nod my head a bit, pause while she starts to nod her head] I mean all our interactions are becoming so dishonest [pause pause pause maintain laser eye] and… [pause] unnatural [doing this to set the stage for attraction is natural etc.]. Don’t even get me started on politicians today.

    H: I know right!!! haha.

    M:[pause holding eye contact then reach out across my body slowly get the coffee cup, looking away from her – she is following my movements – and slowly bring it up to my face, now looking back at her with the laser eye and take a long sip, lick my lips a little then slowly place it back down on the counter go back to full laser eye] I guess [pause] it started for me at a really young age [pause pause] my parents [pause] they were lying to me…

    H: Ohhhh really!!!???

    M: Yeah [pause laser eye serious expression] it messed me up you know [head nod, she is nodding along, pause] every year they would do the same thing [pause] I mean FOR YEARS this lying went on [a little hand gesture and volume for emphasis – maintain laser eye – she is leaning forward following this – i pause hear and go through the slow slip of coffee turn away and turn back routine stretching out the anticipation keeping laser eye, turn back to her] aaahhhhhh [pause laser eye] I just couldn’t believe there wasn’t a Santa Claus, you know?

    H: ohhhh. hahahahahahahahahahahah. [touches my forearm]

    So a lot of words to convey a 4 minute interaction but I think you can get a good sense from this how you can get emotional reactions pretty quickly. Ultimately this didn’t go anywhere, since it was too close to home. She was meeting a chode (not to pick on anybody, just descriptive – he was very anxious when he saw us chatting so close) and when he came she got her coffee and they took off. She gave me her name though and we shook hands. A seed planted. But she got what was unexpected from a stranger – a bit of the roller coaster, a random interruption of the routines of life, and good emotions.

    Have fun.

    Forge –

    So using this story here as an example, I developed this story here about the girl and the bag a little more, into one of my DHV routines… so it’s easy to break out in set “check this out… the other day I was talking with this cute hipster girl… she had a bag that said…”

    Get some routines together, they will help you immensely. You didn’t get a spike in your set because you didn’t create a spike… the DHV story, a good one, will offer opportunity to lead a conversation, be proximate, perhaps some kino “she had a tattoo right here…”, allow for lasering and build up then allow the release of tension. Create some good feelz…

    Part of this is also just flirting… fucking around with girls… getting reactions… but a routine is valuable because you know the reaction you are going to get, and when… If you watched the Future infield Yareally posted the other day, the Powerpuff girls… well that was a routine. PUA was all about routines for a bit, so now routines get a bad rap. But routines “you” own are good. After the Future clip there were some others, here is one below… It’s not great in terms of pick up, but it will demonstrate him going right into the powerpuff girl routine again, then into others, here “Strawberry Fields”… to hold the set.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reoy9-56bww

    Scray mentions “pretending” you are a journalist… this can be OK but IMO you need to end it with a “nah just fucking around”, that can work… then make them guess what you really do.. this can be another routine, i.e. I have a “Bean Farmer” one… etc etc…

    This is what routine stacking is about… layering them, building emotions, setting inflection points.. etc… all good stuff to work on. Stay in SET! Don’t eject… too early in your learning to worry about “dancing monkey” and shit like that. Try to spike emotions, try to get them to offer you a seat, etc etc… Once you are leading, then you will have them following, ready to bounce with this cool fun new guy who came “out of nowhere”…

  52. Forge…

    Here is how another routine was developed, this one sexulizing and kino…

    Something for you guys to incorporate… At a bar, two women come in and take the stools next to me. One dressed in a gray sweatshirt and sneakers, with shortish blond hair and the other a 7 with long curly hair, pretty eyes, good figure, long curly hair and dressed in leopard print spandex, knee high leather boots and a flimsey blouse. The 7 sits next to me.

    Long story that’s pretty funny, can’t tell it all here for time, but i was using the Mystery logistical qualifier, so ask them if they were here with anyone and how long they knew each other. I misheard them, from their answer it sounded like they were lesbians, and how they were dressed, I’m like ok a butch and a lipstick lesbian, makes sense, especially in this city.

    So I am teasing them all night about being lesbians and somehow we get on to dick size, So I am asking them about if they ever saw a dick and stuff like that… They are dying and eating it up. Still doesn’t dawn on me, though I am feeling some IOI’s, thinking maybe she is bi?.

    I tell them about this recent penis size survey and ask them to guess the average size they have seen. The butch says 6 inches and the 7 says 7.5, and the butch rolls her eyes. I tell her that 7.5 was after the UNC Duke game right? So tease some more.

    Then I bring up, “you know how women are very bad at guessing the size of things” and they are agreeing and nodding. I take 7’s hand and open up the palm flat “you see this – from palm to finger tops” and I am running my hand up and down her hand (kino), looking in her eyes but not LASERing, because I think they are lesbians LOL. This here is 12 inches” Very serious delivery. The guy bartender hears this and starts dying laughing. Then the girls get it and start cracking up…

    At the end of the night, when I finally found out at almost closing time they weren’t lesbians I amped up the game a bit and made out some with the 7, but she knew I was married from my very frank talk and said she was “old enough to know better” (was her birthday) and they ran off…

    Interesting example of dancing monkey. I had them captivated all night and qualifying, missed all the IOI’s thinking they were gay (LOL) and did not run my strong kino and laser… and that my friends was the difference. Good conversation and fun = nothing without sexual intent.

    Good kino routine though, will use again.

    Here is the study BTW http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2015/03/05/new-study-gives-definitive-answer-average-penis-size/

  53. @YaReally @scray

    Totally awesome description of what’s going on on the dance floor, YaReally. I get it now why scray doesn’t get some of my points. If a girl asks you to dance, she is still in a fantasy state, most likely, if she’s a beginner. If she’s a dance geek, she just wants to dance.

    The fantasy can get up a lot higher than 2/10 for lead/follow. That’s merely baseline for a basic step. Turn her a bunch and her emotions will spike as you flip her world and make her dizzy like riding on a roller coaster. Dip her and you get another spike. She gets the social proof of dancing with an awesome lead that lots of other girls wanna dance with. Maybe the girl wants to dance very close. She’s spiking and getting a more sexual experience. Then the dance ends. Oh noes, I just lost my fantasy!!! I hope he asks me again!!!

    If a girl asks you to dance, she wants the fantasy and is still in a fantasy state. She will be curious about you and want to chat, most likely. If your nonverbals are solid, she will be wondering what it would be like to kiss you.

    Teaching a girl to dance is worth a book…which I am writing. I’m not giving the keys of the kingdom away here. Teaching a girl to dance is a BIG DEAL. Dance instructors get laid a lot. They are minor celebrities.

  54. Damn Boys the question isn’t if it is going to burn it’s when,some mitigation is in order and get tooled up,get in shape and stay fit.

    Once your nuts drop and you get hair on your ass,you are old enough to be a man,figure out what that means to you and start acting like one.Keep in mind CYA you are number one,you can’t do any good if you get injured.

    Learn game,learn how to get what you want,how to get your needs met,survival is #1 instinct for everyone.

    It doesn’t matter what you have as much as wether or not your shit is together and you know how to use it.

    Don’t sit inside wishing it would quit raining,grab a poncho or even a trash bag get out there and get something done.

    The world has never been a perfect place,the key is to have a plan understand what you are up against,get out there and do your best,have no regrets,get some rest and get up and do it again.

    Today is the first day of the rest of your life,no matter where you go there you are and any time is a good time to start a new day.

    What are you going to do?

  55. @Andy – From a Vox Day article recently posted…
    “It was 1969. Kate invited me to join her for a gathering at the home of her friend, Lila Karp. They called the assemblage a “consciousness-raising-group,” a typical communist exercise, something practiced in Maoist China. We gathered at a large table as the chairperson opened the meeting with a back-and-forth recitation, like a Litany, a type of prayer done in Catholic Church. But now it was Marxism, the Church of the Left, mimicking religious practice:

    “Why are we here today?” she asked.
    “To make revolution,” they answered.
    “What kind of revolution?” she replied.
    “The Cultural Revolution,” they chanted.
    “And how do we make Cultural Revolution?” she demanded.
    “By destroying the American family!” they answered.
    “How do we destroy the family?” she came back.
    “By destroying the American Patriarch,” they cried exuberantly.
    “And how do we destroy the American Patriarch?” she replied.
    “By taking away his power!”
    “How do we do that?”
    “By destroying monogamy!” they shouted.
    “How can we destroy monogamy?”

    Their answer left me dumbstruck, breathless, disbelieving my ears. Was I on planet earth? Who were these people?

    “By promoting promiscuity, eroticism, prostitution and homosexuality!” they resounded.

    Or you could go back and read Engels essay on the family, from 1870something. But here’s what you won’t find. JP Morgan or Carnegie or Edison or Henry Ford or our founders or Calvin Coolidge spewing this shit. Only Marxists, and Progressive/SJW types who’s beliefs are Marxist in nature – and oh yeah, anyone who doesn’t understand that is merely advertising their ignorance of Marxism. I’m not using Marxism as an epithet, I’m using descriptively. For some reason man-children on the left can’t handle this. I could care less…

    A few more points.

    – What you call consumerism only increases once marriage and childbearing and work patterns change in the ’60s in the U.S. and women join the workforce in large numbers. Women end up controlling 80% of household spending and then we start seeing huge increases in household debt and spending on all kinds of plastic crap and clothes and consumerist crap spiral. What would you do? Have a central planner decide what people can spend their money on? Or what products are built? Or are you one of those leftie conspiracy thinkers who believe that advertising makes people spend their money on crap?

    – Capitalism is a misleading term for free markets. Free markets stem from being free and the right to own property. You speak as though there is some alternative to this. It’s bizarre and very common from pseudo-intellectual leftists, this presumptuous and haughty tone. But you’ve got nothing as an alternative, nothing. All of the growth in wealth in the West comes from liberty and free markets. The entire rise of humanity from 1 billion to over 7 billion over the past 100 years arises from it. Human wellbeing is at a higher level than ever as well, with lower rates of poverty, disease and also much longer lifespans.

    But please, carry on as though there is any comparison between the morality and value of free markets and planned, socialistic economies that destroy wealth and wellbeing. It’s amusing and revealing.

  56. ” . . . read Engels essay on the family . . .”

    Even most Marxists don’t read Engels any more (or Marx for that matter). The triumph of the progressive socialists is so profound that they simply “pick it up” by osmosis from the culture.

    “You speak as though there is some alternative to this.”

    Without private enterprise the Eastern Bloc would have collapsed decades sooner.

  57. @Culum

    you’re getting good advice on the work thing, so i’ll echo the others… just bring red pill value to the ‘normies’ (lol)… and understand just how valuable that shit actually is… most people are stifled/socially retarded (and not in a good way…lol)… this would be a great time to practice throwing girls at your new buddies too…lol… it really does shift your headspace…

    on to more important things…lol…i don’t have a lot of time to comment (actually making progress on my own shit…lol), but i have been reading your FRs (and Forge’s too…). i’m making time bc you need a [slap in the head]…lol

    props on going out (especially solo = getting out the door is hard) and putting in the work, that shit is not easy… buuut… you need to keep moving forward… not let the FI leak in around the edges and kill your progress/push you backwards…

    …late-40s hb5.5?…wtf!…lol…she’s not even red-pill age-appropriate for ME!…lol… you’d be waaaay better off getting in set with epiphany chick (even IF you start in her frame by going to her place…) and trying to turn THAT around is situ… not kidding… and it’s probably time to ping her again…lol…

    just as an aside, bc you will NEVER be in that age-related situ again…lol… a late 40s hb5.5 milf is going to be ‘damaged’ as YaReally noted, but you were obviously pinging her BB algo… bc this:

    you: you should have a drink
    her: i just turn into a slut
    you: that’s a bad thing?
    her: [laugh]

    tells me that your whole interaction was BB (with you chasing = she is the prize)… that’s you supplicating to her frame/chasing her (just so you know for when it happens with a YOUNG girl…lol (looks the same in situ) (you can deconstruct the subcomms, if you want the details, bc you have more than enough game knowledge to do that…just pretend it’s someone else’s FR). you were obviously chasing her, and her hindbrain wanted the provisioning/BB (so no ‘desire’ = no AF), but her forebrain knew you were looking for a ONS (bc why would YOU want to BB her? and if you DID, that just lowers your value even more…), but she was willing to go along bc…BB/companionship. she was likely peri- or post-meno… i hate to even tell you this (lol) but i’m nothing if not pedantically thorough…and there might be some 60+ guys out there that might benefit from this…lol… but if you ping her AF algo, they really do slut it up…lol…but it’s either/or…almost like <25yo…lol…like they come full circle…so, in situ IF you were pinging her as AF, she would have been drinking and getting slutty… and that didn't happen bc:

    that 'beggars/choosers' attitude… just STOP IT!… it pings as BB/chasing… and not in a good way…lol… that's the FI pushing on you HARD… bc you are right at the transition point before you really go all in, and you are still hanging on to that monkey trap nut… just with one hand though…lol… just.let.go… and here i thought giving you shit about getting that extra shiny armor polish was pushing you forward…lol… WK is one step up the red pill scale from unsuccessfully chasing late40s milfs…lol… but it's not even a set-back…just another data point…

    you CAN turn it around, so just shake it off, count it as a win bc you are going to take the lesson and move on…

    it's like you can see it, but you still don't think you are worthy of being 'awesome' (= living with those red pill super powers…). which are experiential/existential…

    it's like you are that crippled guy (you = FI in play…) in Avatar. he just 'puts on' the blue guy awesomeness (you gaming = RP) but then 'reality' leaks back in and he's still crippled… you just let 'reality' leak back in and come back to the FI in play… which is messing up your decision tree/flow…

    the FI is cunning and pervasive…

    sooo, your new 'age limit' is NO girls older than you… not kidding… mid-30s is old enough… and mid-20s is even better…lol…

    you know what to do, you just need permission to do it… and (((I'M))) giving you permission right now…lol…

    good luck!
    __________________________

    @Forge at 2:34pm

    There’s a new brewery in town I wanted to check out, but due to family stuff I couldn’t make it till 10:00 PM on a Sun night. Felt a bit tired and demotivated, almost sad, but I’m just like ‘you fucker, you said you’d get out so GO’ and I did.

    props on getting out the door… once you commit, it really can turn your mood around.

    it was a really cool place – hip styling, huge observation deck w chairs hanging over the brewery itself, lots of drafts, but not too many people. Ah well, not unexpected. Rolled up to the bar and talked w the bartender about the selection, I kept things going a bit just to warm up and grabbed a few samples. Noticed a pair of cute girls at a table in a corner – really the only good set in the place – so I grabbed the cups and plunked down in a nearby table.

    facing them?… = chasing… yep, that soon…lol…

    One girl’s back is to me, the other’s in profile, and as soon as I sit down her head darts in my direction then back. Very cute HB7.5.

    Alright, IOI 1.

    2 more and you can kiss her…lol…

    I lean back slightly and let the smugness creep over me.

    good… feel that entitlement flow through you…lol…

    Simultaneously I contemplate approaching and feel my balls slowly retract into my body. Fuck you, AA my old friend. Let me poison you with alcohol.

    props on recognizing AA in situ… = FI in play…

    I didn’t, though. Only had a flight the whole time I was there. Screw buffers.

    great attitude…

    Chatted with waitress for a bit – she was nice, HB4, good warmup. Got the rest of my flight. A discussion of food – is it any good? Yes, very. How about X? X is my favorite! Well can I have one? Sorry, the kitchen closed 2 minutes ago.

    probably a shit test…lol… i mean really? 2 minutes?… lol. you should have tried to order anyway… the grill wasn’t even cooling down…lol…

    Damn. I was hankering for radishes with nduja and house-cultured butter. Fuck me, am I a hipster? Nah, hipsters aren’t cool lol. Nvm.

    Now I’m back to staring at walls. Fuck this. I finish all but one glass then get up and walk over to HB7.5 2-set. This is an easy open.

    “Hey there, I gotta go in a sec but I had to ask you how the food was here.”

    Blows wide open. She gives me bambi eyes right off and puts herself right into the convo.

    = IOI #2…

    She tells me how the food is, the cider, we bang back and forth. I tell her I just missed the kitchnThe other girl is quieter, but not in a disaproving way – she seems happy this is happening. I try to engage her a bit as well, but she keeps averting her eyes. Trying not to attract me to avoid jealosy? Shy?

    Probe a bit for what the situ is. “Why are you here 10PM on a Sun night?” HB7.5 is taking her younger sister (the other girl) out for her birthday. “Congrats!” [clink glasses]. “21st?” Nope, 22nd. “Yeah, most 21st bd parties don’t end up looking like 2 girls at a quiet bar at 10PM.”

    Sooo…logistics look poor for SNL, might be able to swing it if they drove separately. But we’re probably looking for a solid #close here

    logistics look great for a 3some…lol…

    At this point I launch into a bit about how I was supposed to meet a girl here but she couldn’t make it but I wasn’t gonna let that stop me blabla

    that’s a DLV story, bc why WOULDN’T any girl completely change her plans to have a shot with you… but i know what you were trying to convey…just need to rework that idea into a better story…

    but i know and HB7.5 does this whole thing where she pushes out her lower lip and looks up with me with puppy eyes (BIG blue eyes, damn) and says ‘Awww! I’m sure she wasn’t worth it…’ then a nervous giggle and she flutters her eyelashes.

    if it was ‘intentional’ it might be beta bait/validation seeking… might be why the other girl was ‘shy’…maybe her sister likes to tease guys and she’s embarrassed…lol… hard to know bc subcomms in play matter… OR it’s IOI 3#… so you should have kissed her…lol…

    In the moment I’m sure there’s somewhere awesome to go with that

    good instinct…lol…

    but I just shift gears and go into ‘I dunno, I think sometimes it’s hard for girls to go out’

    supplicating to a ‘non-present’ girl’s frame…

    and start talking about some of the shit Ya and I were discussing last thread about how Netflix and the internet have made it easy for everyone to be lazy and not go out, and she’s just like ‘I LOVE Netflix!’

    shit test…

    Lol. Girls.

    aaaand, you missed it…lol…

    After that the convo went smoothly and well, but no real spikes.

    ya, that’s bc it’s up to YOU to bring the spikes…lol…

    Truth was I was running out of things to say, and it was starting to feel like I had to end the whole friendly convo thing and make some excuse for the frame to shift to ‘we’re hanging out now’ instead of ‘I popped by to ask you X.’

    this whole feeling is the FI pushing on you… bc you need a REASON to be in set with cute girls… one that does not involve sex…lol… and you need their ‘permission’ to stay… = their frame all the way… also, ‘whole friendly convo’ =/= sexualized interaction…lol… but not a failure, just another data point…

    So I just let my glass run dry like a chump and, as a hail mary, said something like ‘well, that’s all I’ve got. I’ll be going unless you can convince me to stay.’ [slightly awkward silence followed by friendly farewells]

    you can see how this is still their frame, right?… they have the decision whether you stay or go… and if they ask you to stay = ASD kicks up… bc you haven’t built up enough value to them… plus, why WOULDN”T you want to keep talking to them?… you running out of things to say = FI in play… bc you are ‘consciously’ avoiding sexualizing/intimacy the interaction…

    if you hit this point, pull out the two techs i pointed out to scribblerg – push/pull – ‘i don’t like [that] about you’ (something she could change) or ‘i like [that] about you’ (anything about her)… then ‘tell me about it’…then just wait expectantly for her to talk…

    Talked to a few guys about brewing and shit after that then left.

    HB was probably running all that through her head later to see if she coulda done something to keep me there lol.

    nope…lol…

    She was smitten, and her sister seemed to think the circumstance was cool.

    and you cruelly deprived them of your company…lol…wtf…weren’t they cute?…lol… that’s why i always recommend staying in set until it completely implodes… or you get laid…lol… how else are you going to learn how to turn it around…

    And I thought about it later and holy shit it was so obvious – they had a b-day party of 2. I could have just been like, after the ‘my date didn’t show up’ thing, ‘Ya, she probably wasn’t worth it. You seem cool, how about you be my dates instead?’

    don’t ask… just do… bc asking = her frame…you should have just sat down and ordered another beer/water/whatever…then, just keep talking/engaging them until it’s time to go back to her place…lol…

    just in a spreading-fun-vibes way, not like a come-on,

    seriously, wtf!…lol… do you want to get laid or not…lol… you need to sexualize = come on if you want the bang… beta orbiters just spread-fun-vibes without coming on…lol… = FI in play…

    then asked if i could sit with them

    = their frame…

    your frame = just do it…assume the sale/attraction… then, if/when they object = shit test = IOI… see how that works?… you can trigger more attraction, just by doing what you want…lol…

    and grab another drink. Bridge over a bit by pointing out the waitress, ‘I already cashed out, do you think she’ll be pissed she has to re-open my tab? Lol.’

    = the waitress’s frame…lol…

    Then just vibe about whatever until I can make some excuse to take her #.

    = FI in play… bc you would have to ‘trick’ her into giving you her number… as opposed to her being lucky that you would even want to take her number so you might let her earn her way into your awesome life…

    I was spiking her well just by being bold/confident in a quiet venue where people stayed to themselves, by a bit of lasering, and by being a sexy, sexy man.

    lol…

    Couldn’t kiss or close space easily cause her sister would probably spike her ASD.

    sooo, 3some!… problem solved…lol

    She had a bracelet tattoo I might have been able to initiate a bit of kino with but I wasn’t sure if that would cause a recoil response given where I was at.

    never know til you try… but that idea of ‘recoil response’ = FI in play…

    AND

    I am SO FUCKING GLAD I made myself go out. It was almost a daygame-like situ and the AA almost kicked my ass but I broke it and it was FUN.

    props on that… consider this a WIN!!

    And I live 15 minutes from this place and I was door-to-door in 60-70 mins. That’s NOTHING.

    could make this a normal hangout…

    There’s a lot of work to be done, I coulda easy gotten a number if I didn’t self-eject I’d say.

    not so easy… bc you didn’t actually get the number…lol… and NOT self-ejecting is a precursor to getting the number/laid…lol

    But now I’ll know more for next time.

    that’s the whole goal…

    This was a different sort of venue than I usually hit- more sedate, I can actually COMMUNICATE more. And it’s just great to see that I can be in that cirucumstance and I’m still fine.

    ya, not dying is GREAT!…lol…

    It’s just, ya know, I gotta carry it forward. It’s the rare HB7+ who will for you.

    Thanks for all the input I get here guys. It’s helping me a lot. This might sound fucking stupid to an experienced player, but just being able to do this and having it feel normal and seeing how things coulda gone with just a bit more experience/foresight…it’s pretty huge to me when I look at the big picture here. I’ve done things like this semi-regularly lately and before it just would have been uncountenanceable.

    props on getting out there… you are getting better… keep it up…

    good luck!

  58. scribblerg

    further from that story…

    They proceeded with a long discussion on how to advance these goals by establishing The National Organization of Women. It was clear they desired nothing less than the utter deconstruction of Western society. The upshot was that the only way to do this was “to invade every American institution. Every one must be permeated with ‘The Revolution’”: The media, the educational system, universities, high schools, K-12, school boards, etc.; then, the judiciary, the legislatures, the executive branches and even the library system.

    It fell on my ears as a ludicrous scheme, as if they were a band of highly imaginative children planning a Brinks robbery; a lark trumped up on a snowy night amongst a group of spoiled brats over booze and hashish.

    Here http://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/240037/marxist-feminisms-ruined-lives-mallory-millett

  59. “to invade every American institution. Every one must be permeated with ‘The Revolution’ ”

    Named ‘The Long March through the Institutions,’ after the Long March of the Red Army, by a German Gramscian.

  60. @ scrib

    I need some help here.

    A major sticking point for me, especially considering my Catholic upbringing, is feeling inherent guilt/shame for wanting to bang a lot of girls.

    This is basically what caused me to cockblock myself with a 23 y/o lately who was DTF. I had a perfect opening but panic set in and then I just let it go. Not that it’s all over, but I keep shooting myself in the foot. In a couple hookups I had in the past, I had full blown panic attacks, because the limbic level message I was picking up was it is NOT SAFE for me to do this, having sex isn’t safe, etc.

    I did this even in my teens. Part of me now is wondering how much of why I never got laid in high school, and waited so long to have sex, was because I had phobia-related issues to it, like, I was taught that fornication was a mortal sin, so even the idea of having sex with a woman I wasn’t married to made me go into a panic, because I thought it meant I was going to go to hell, was doing something evil, etc.

    I was afraid of sex itself, not being judged by a girl or how things would even go, but just the idea that sex itself was wrong and that by having sex I was committing some kind of mortal sin.

    The girl I’ve been seeing is Epiphany/Transition phase, and all that, but her constant espousing of monogamy, and declaration of how she wants a ‘simple life’ etc., and can’t stand women whoring themselves out or acting like whores in public, makes that part of me think “Oh, wow, this is a good woman,” and then makes me feel like I’m a bad person or a scumbag for seeing some young hottie walking by and wanting to have sex with her.

    That’s made it doubly hard for me to move on, or at least get other women going. The part of my brain that wants to “do right” and prioritize some kind of morality and chivalry or religious ‘properness’ over fulfilling my own desires kicks in and cockblocks me, big time. I will literally start to panic and getting an erection will be essentially impossible. This happened to me in two hookups I had and it was awful.

    It’s a huge rift here. Basically my newfound self confidence and first-time awareness of my own genuine desires are conflicting with my religious upgbringing and also conspiracy theory shit that I went mental on back when I had some kind of delusional quasi-psychotic episode that landed me in the funny farm.

    I don’t know much about politics. I’m not educated in that field. But I’ve read enough for the conspiracy-prone side of me to get really paranoid and start thinking shit like communists have tried to destroy monogamy, and the nuclear family, and if I start being promiscuous myself, I’m going to be playing into this, and being a bad person, being a ‘fallen’ person, etc.

    This all sounds ridiculous, but this is the programming I’m dealing with, and it is SERIOUSLY affecting my ability to get out there and do anything with women.

    That, and then all the reading I did about semen retention, even the whole Bible story about Samson getting overtaken because he lost his ‘hair,’ the subliminal metaphor being that he had sex with that chick and after he blew his load he had no power left.

    So then I go for a while without ejaculating, or have sex without ejaculating, and feel like I’ve “accomplished” something, or that I’ve won, and haven’t lost my power or something.

    Even outside of the FI there’s a ton of this shit. Or maybe all that IS a part of the FI, who knows.

    Reading your comment just kind of threw me back there and sent me kind of into an alarm state. Like shit, this stuff is still alive and kicking inside me. Reading about communists wanting to destroy the family instantly reinforces that guilt/shame of seeing some young hottie walking by and fantasizing about her, like, feeling like I’m playing into their hand and taking part in the downfall of society.

    I think this is probably a lot of some neurochemical thing, like paranoia and self-aggrandizement that goes way beyond being rational or reasonable….and trust me, I don’t mean this in the sense that I think I’m so important that I have any influence over where society goes…

    …it’s just the paranoia, and then the GUILT, like it isn’t right for me to do these things.

    If I could clear all this BS out, I feel like I could get a lot farther along. Still cockblocking myself even with girls being DTF.

    Any advice or words of encouragement? I’m not a lost cause and a part of me feels unrestrained about pursuing lots of women, but there’s another part of me, with all the paranoia, FI conditioning, religious conditioning, that’s telling me promiscuity is not a good thing and that it isn’t safe to do.

    It’s embarrassing for me to bring this stuff up but it is an issue for me and I feel like I could use some help rationalizing it.

  61. @ya

    “ehhh, dance floor can be done as long as you’re AWARE that ”

    ya i mean…anything CAN be done

    my main point was back at the beginning: ‘if you like to dance, have fun, but the dance floor is just….you’re making it harder on yourself.’

    so yeah, if you know what’s going on and want to deal with the added headache, knock yourself out.

    ‘ I get it now why scray doesn’t get some of my points’

    I understand just fine, you’re essentially repeating ‘but I can do it, it can be done’ over and over again. I never said it couldn’t be done….it’s just a hassle I don’t want to deal with. You are thinking about sometihng very particular to yourself and how you spend x hours a week practicing dancing and have a lifestyle built around dancing.

    != most guys.

    for the average guy, it really isn’t necessary.

    i ought to know…i’ve pulled from the dancefloor several times and the state shift is like pulling off a band-aid. even in non-sexual dancing you’re still starting over because ‘oh that was the dancefloor…who are you?’

    re: ‘VIP game’

    yeah the key here is to always remember to bring value. don’t be an asshole to the guys who have the bottle. no matter how much they suck with women, no matter how much the women don’t like them or whatever….

    …you’re not going to have any trouble finding a woman interested in you, so you need to at least TRY to hook them up too. If you do that, you’ll start making fast friends that will hit you up to party….

  62. @YaReally, having a bad day: what did you think of that situation in the club with the “I fucked my dog” line? It was in the middle of a looong FR but you can skip to point 7. of this link:

    https://therationalmale.com/2016/04/24/fempowerment/#comment-153169

    @Scray: the headspace is that I’m practicing game for two reasons a) in case I divorce I won’t be completely inexperienced b) in case I don’t divorce, it pays off to be better at game so that I can game my wife better.

    It helps to develop more of an abundance mentality and outcome independence.

  63. @Softek, don’t use religious upbringing as an excuse to fall back on. Just use a condom and carry on with your journey.

    P.S. Go back and read your last comment. You use “I think” and “I feel” so much dude. Stop thinking and feeling and just go out and do Too many mind!

  64. You are thinking about sometihng very particular to yourself and how you spend x hours a week practicing dancing

    I don’t practice any more. That took about a year. Then I took a year to learn the fundamentals of dance instruction (just observed during group lessons) so that I could teach it on the dance floor.

    Particular. Hah. I started with two left feet and autism, but I got better. But different strokes for different folks.

    This convo has helped me understand something important that I need to put in my book. Thanks. The whole state change from dance floor to bar is important.

    It’s important to learn how to lead and that leading is essentially gaining compliance with a successful outcome (maybe just having fun with no damage from dancing or could be fucking) and lead/follow dancing is great for learning how to lead and how to follow. Lead/follow dancing will expose your shortcomings as a leader or follower. It elicits growth.

    You’ve pulled from the dance floor…cool…I’ve pulled a hottie deep in convo with RAS active who was being gamed by a PUA onto the dance floor…she didn’t wanna quit dancing…it can work both ways…he fucking hated me, lol…all that work and poof! she was gone…

    I was teaching her Cowboy ChaCha. Girls like feeling a man’s strength as he leads her…his hands on hers, cupping her shoulder, his other shoulder touching hers with her other shoulder cupped by his hand on her hand, arm across her back, holding her, hips touching…standard “Sweetheart” position with a strong Instructor frame to keep the girl on count and in the right position. It’s hard for her to make a mistake in this position. She feels safe and close to the instructor and she feels the instructor’s strength and she’s learning to dance. A fantasy.

    Still, dancing isn’t always enough…not for all girls, so having routines is a plus. I have some. If you can dance well and have solid nonverbals, you’ll get laid by some hotties, tho–especially if you can teach girls to dance.

    Do random girls often mess with your butt or get up in your grid in bars? Strangers you just met? This is a serious question, not rhetorical.

    I’m still learning the power of my Game and surprises hit me all the time. Social proof I didn’t know I had. Hotties coming on strong when I’m not expecting it. Even when I’m not in a dance venue. It seems that my Dance Game has solidified my nonverbals and that’s what carries off the dance floor.

    Great comment about VIP Game!

  65. @scribblerg

    What’s more plausible? A group of 12 women get together and successfully plan and execute the downfall of western civilization OR they’re just part of small part of a huge movement that was already underway, and was going to happen anyway?

    “What you call consumerism only increases once marriage and childbearing and work patterns change in the ’60s in the U.S. and women join the workforce in large numbers.”

    Correlation is not causation. My theory is that technology and consumerism is why they went to work in the first place. And it continues to happen in this same pattern in emerging economies all over the world.

    “Women end up controlling 80% of household spending and then we start seeing huge increases in household debt and spending on all kinds of plastic crap and clothes and consumerist crap spiral. What would you do? Have a central planner decide what people can spend their money on?”

    I’m not blaming anyone. It was bound to happen, and it will happen all over the world until we’re all “western.” This is my point.

    “You speak as though there is some alternative to this.”

    No I don’t. I am speaking as though I don’t think there is any way I would ever be able to convince you that free markets are the primary cause of our situation.

    “Or are you one of those leftie conspiracy thinkers who believe that advertising makes people spend their money on crap?”

    Oh only leftie conspiracy theorists think advertising makes people spend money on crap? This is a fucking reality. lol.

    “All of the growth in wealth in the West comes from liberty and free markets.”

    Agreed. But this doesn’t change my point… Women were a huge untapped market. Turns out they do most of the spending and are the target of most of the marketing. All this shit is tied together…

  66. @IAS at 9:54am

    i think you handled it fine. sounds like you came in on the tail end of some joke/story that was not intend for you, but SG1 was trying to use you to shame/tease SG2 for the story…lol…(‘you scared this guy…’).

    @Scray: the headspace is that I’m practicing game for two reasons a) in case I divorce I won’t be completely inexperienced b) in case I don’t divorce, it pays off to be better at game so that I can game my wife better.

    It helps to develop more of an abundance mentality and outcome independence.

    that’s where i started = planning for ‘failure’… but pua really does help you turn it around with the wife…provided you put in the effort and have enough time to pull it around (while you learn game)… and the faster you develop at game, the less time you need to pull it around…

    good luck!

  67. @YaReally, Sentient

    Thanks. I’m still a bit high on being able to open sets without shitting myself, and not being all that nervous once the convo gets going.

    Yay I can open sets! Then…uh, what now? lol. Like a dog that catches the car.

    I suppose I’ve been resisting the ‘training wheels’ of having routines even though WHY WOULD I NOT NEED TRAINING WHEELS. No shame to it, who cares if you look funny at first.

    I mean, hell, to make the analogy real I used training wheels as a kid. Now I can bike 100 miles a stretch. Wouldn’t have gotten the one without the other.

    Guess I’m gonna hit the books. Keys to the kingdom and all 😀

    @Scray

    Holy hell, that’s how you tear me a new one! Lol. Primed me to learn from this though.

    Only thing I’d contest is that I probably understated how many AI’s I got before I approached. She kept scanning the room, resting her eyes on me, then darting them back to her sister whenever I made eye contact. Then hair flip. Maybe 4x. I was just like, man, now I have to approach or it’ll be weird. Windows of opportunity and all. And I did have a backup for the food thing, cause I ghostwrite a health blog for work and could use that as an excuse if they look at me weird for asking how the food was.

    Past that, no argument. Time to tighten this shit up.

    @HABD

    Thanks, you’re basically telling me where mindset is falling apart. Like there’s all sorts of tech that i could use if I knew about it maybe but you’re showing why I’m not using it even if I see the chance.

    Frame is a subtle thing. I recognized afterwards how I could have taken the frame and benefited, but in the moment? The frame battle was really back-and-forth. I made it normal to be talking to them but past that they were dictating ‘normal.’

    I grew up having a lot of empathy. Empathy is a great way to collapse your frame. Basically wondering more about what other people think than about what YOU think. Wonder how much of that is conditioned rather than innate.

    Gotta replace empathy with (appropriate) compassion regardless.

  68. IAS… just go with the flow and have fun… try to have fun, recognize how comedy works…

    Her: “I fucked my dog”

    You: “OMG…! So did I!” [high five]

    You:[beat] Had to stop though… yeah… My cat was getting jealous…

    he’s such a pussy… [rimshot!]

  69. @sentient

    “Jay Z an alpha? Not buying it…”

    You could be correct, here is B on J:

    Let’s imagine for a moment that you never made a name for yourself
    Or mastered wealth, they had you labeled as a king
    Never made it out the cage, still out there movin’ in them streets
    Never had the baddest woman in the game up in your sheets
    Would they be down to ride?
    No, they used to hide from you, lie to you

  70. @theasd

    “Lead/follow dancing will expose your shortcomings as a leader or follower. It elicits growth.”

    we’re just gonna keep talking past one another. you’re not out there trying to fuck anyone. it’s a little different.

    @forge

    “Past that, no argument. Time to tighten this shit up.”

    hahah no worries man. I just gave you a general mindset that will help.
    You should memorize a stack first and just practice running it.

    become a fucking thespian with it.
    During my original 30 day challenge I practiced video recording myself for like 30 minutes everyday and realizing how I looked when I talk (knowing what you look like in motion and how you come off is a HUGE asset)

    later on, you’ll get what I’m saying about making shit up. it’s a lot of fun and it’s a tremendous asset.

  71. ” . . .you’re not out there trying to fuck anyone. it’s a little different.”

    Most of the women are playing Safe Game with him.

  72. ASDgamer
    You’ve pulled from the dance floor…cool…I’ve pulled a hottie deep in convo with RAS active who was being gamed by a PUA onto the dance floor…she didn’t wanna quit dancing…it can work both ways…he fucking hated me, lol…all that work and poof! she was gone…

    You know, ASD, it might just be that what scray means by the words “pulled from the dance floor” isn’t the same thing that you mean.

    To put it another way, I bet his subcomms aren’t the same as yours, because his intent is not the same as yours.

  73. @ Andy

    Wassup Bro?

    I have come to the conclusion over the past 15-20 years that Capitalism has become more akin to a religion, the tenets of which can never be questioned lest ye be Marxist/Communist/Anarchist/Freedom-Hating.

    I have a few friends that are Diehard Capitalist. So much so, that it is impossible to reason with them using facts that are right in front of their faces. One of these fellows actually became a multi millionaire by basically robbing and tricking and stealing ( no differently than a common criminal ), but because the rules/laws governing Wall Street were shifted in his favor, he considered his gains justified and a symbol of the greatness across the land.

    http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/a0/a0278d6ebd9591c39e398b65ed9c5dd9d7d6ea7686578f1088d41908c6b92ca4.jpg

    It is increasingly hard to listen to these guys in my circle blather on and on about ” wealth “. I’m watching as time proves to them that they will never, ever become rich as they slouch toward 60 years old. A conversation cannot go more than a few minutes before it veers off into ” wealth creation “. All of these broke assed real estate magnates. 8 houses hopelessly underwater. Looking for ” programs ” to help them out.

    Those programs are for the big boys with connections. The game is rigged.

    Men I’ve known who were the hardest Cap cheerleaders have had a very hard awakening by losing jobs, assets, and life savings. then and only then, will they question the tenets of Capitalism verses the current practice on the ground. It is broken and busted, but people will not see it until it affects them directly, or the country turns into a complete shithole.

    We are genuflecting before the temple of the Rich and Famous like so many screaming fan girls. Individualism be damned.

    The conversation re: Trump upstream was interesting.

    Fred Trump’s estate was probably worth around 200 million, give or take. that would’ve been divided among 4 siblings. Donald’s take is around 40 million. 20 some odd years ago, the company Donald INHERITED from his father was listed on Forbes as being worth around 200 million.

    The question is: how is a guy born with connections and starting out in real estate with 1 million dollars self made?

    I don’t have a dog in the Trump fight, except to point out that he’s not all that smart ( I’ve watched some dumb ass people make a few bucks in real estate over the years. It’s a fucking racket at it’s core ) and worshiping his ability to make money doesn’t say absolutely anything at all about who he is.

    And I know a few investors that have been hurt in one of Trumps multiple bankruptcies over the years.

    Lol, real estate. I bought my first home for around 100 grand and paid it off in a few years time. Sold that house during divorce for 385 grand. I didn’t DO anything but sell it. The fickled assed market did the work for me. I knew nothing about real estate.

    I’ve seen my old home was back on the market a few years ago for $210,000.

    It is a fucking joke.

    But people want desperately to believe. They will believe against all manner or factual evidence. They will whisper ” free markets ” with their dying, broke ass breaths.

    ” Ohhhh shiittt, my 401k took a 40,000 dollar hit!!!! “. ” I’m looking to invest in the next big emerging market…”. ” Wealth can only be created by smart investment strategies..” and blah, blah, blah.

    I’m just watching….

    No success stories yet…

    Lots of angst though.

    Generations prior were able to work ( hard or not ) and make gains. But sensibly priced homes and consumer goods ( before the infamous 6-7 year car loan was created….7 years to pay for a car????) and send kids to college if they desired without getting tangled up in decades of debt.

    Debt.

    Debt.

    Track the acquisition of debt over the past 50-60 years.

    Interest is your friend, right? Banks gotta earn too. Lol.

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-09-02/u-s-banks-posted-record-profits-in-second-quarter-fdic-says

    In a perfect world, men would question every thing that they are being taught to believe, especially if your life is sucking on multiple levels.

    It bears repeating: The Red Pill is for more than male/female relationships.

  74. scray
    During my original 30 day challenge I practiced video recording myself for like 30 minutes everyday and realizing how I looked when I talk (knowing what you look like in motion and how you come off is a HUGE asset)

    Most people can’t stand they way they sound on an audio recording or look on vid. IMO this is just self-consciousness at work, and it’s a neural pathway. What you did is one sure way to get over it, although the first few times it’s like fingernails down a chalkboard. Looking at yourself on vid as “ok, I need to come across differently” rather than catastrophizing “Oh, I am such a doofus!” is the mindset required to make this work.

  75. Oh, one more thing, this is certain lnot new but I’ll repeat it anyway.

    Some years ago I ran across a study that showed a huge number of people ranked “speaking in public” right next to “death” in terms of things feared. Ya, some people would rather die than speak in public.

    Sales is public speaking. So is game. The only way to get over it is to do it, critique it, improve it and repeat. Lots and lots of public speakers have vids done of themselves routinely, just to tweak presentation. I’ve never done serious sales but I’d expect some of them do the same thing.

    The fun thing is, once you get used to it, public speaking is pretty easy.

  76. IAS, it’s axiomatic that men and women lie about their N, and that men increase the number while women decrease it. I’d have to look at the study to guesstimate how far from reality the numbers are; anonymity matters a lot.

  77. @IAS:

    I mean that the women know they are going to dance with him. They aren’t going to fuck him. There is no end game. He’s “safe.”

    This frees them to behave in ways they wouldn’t if they were taking The Ultimate Risk. It’s fantasy play. They get the experience of being the star of a trapeze act without a net, because they know in advance that they cannot. fall.

  78. @Blax

    “Wassup Bro?”

    Livin the dream.

    “I have come to the conclusion over the past 15-20 years that Capitalism has become more akin to a religion, the tenets of which can never be questioned lest ye be Marxist/Communist/Anarchist/Freedom-Hating.”

    Seems that way. I think capitalism is the best solution. I just think it needs a couple tweaks so that there’s more competition, not as much collusion, and fewer barriers to entry. I don’t think the Fed is inherently bad. Although, I do think there’s a bit of an incestuous relationship with Goldman Sachs and the central banks. BUT, I guess those people need to work for someone when they aren’t in the public sector. I do have a huge problem with Wall Street though. They take up 8% of GDP and they don’t DO anything. 8% of GDP to set prices?!? wtf.

    Also, I believe in a safety net. This part makes me a communist. Yeah, so some people are going to take advantage of it. That makes people REALLY MAD. Most people will just use it to get back on their feet. I did. I was laid off for a while… Now, productive member of society. But like if I’m a working stiff with a family, and I’ve got the next best idea I’m going to be a little scared to go off and do the entrepreneurial thing when little Jimmy coming down with a case of colitis would put me $200k in the hole without health care…

    Anyway, I’m not dead set against it. I just think it has had a whole bunch of unintended consequences for society. All the stuff we talk about.

  79. @ Softek

    I recall reading The Creature from Jekyll Island a few decades ago, but I’m due for a refresher.

    The whole fiat currency thing was/is troubling to me, mostly because the Fed and World Banks exercise way too much control in nations that are supposed to be capitalist.

    Like, how does the Fed create money, out of thin air ( for QE and other bullshit..), yet inflation doesn’t skyrocket?

    Neat trick. Money doesn’t even follow it’s own damn rules anymore.

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