I got an interesting comment from regular reader Hollenhund about 2 weeks ago and rather than reheat that thread I thought it deserved a post. I’ll get to that comment in a bit, but the original topic was how Red Pill awareness, or really the Red Pill Lens, applies in different social contexts. I think there’s a misconception about how relevant a Red Pill understanding is in different social environments, ethnic cultures, religious cultures or even what might seem niche or “alternative” subcultures.
It’s no secret I post on a few of the Christo-Manosphere blogs, but this is really just one social subset of the Red Pill. This is just one of a myriad of other social situations I put myself into with a Red Pill perspective. To be honest my natural default is to use a Red Pill lens in most social environments and I consistently use that awareness as a starting point for judging the character of new people I meet.
As a result of my career I’m often asked to organize or make an appearance at promos or product launches in social settings that would likely never occur to me to be a part of. That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy them; I certainly love to do my ‘observational studies’ of intersexual interactions at, say, a martini fest in South Beach, but I don’t think doing a promo at a Goth club around Halloween would occur to me if I weren’t working the event.
However, I’ve found that in all of these very diverse social settings I consistently see the same Red Pill truths, behaviors and motivations predictably play out among the people I work and interact with despite their being bikini models in cocktail dresses or rednecks in wife-beaters and Daisy Dukes. It’s very easy for guys new to Red Pill awareness and Game to think that because the more notable PUAs they see in videos at various clubs are where they’re most successful that they too must emulate this by thrusting themselves into a social environment they’re never going to feel comfortable in.
I’ve covered the topic of domain dependence before, and how it behooves a newly unplugged man to see what social context he finds himself in and understand the limitation of never breaking out of his comfort zone. It stifles a growth and maturity, but similarly I can’t expect a guy to really cast off all his reservations and jump cold turkey into alien social environments in the fashion that my work places me in.
The good news is that you don’t really have to begin in a foreign social environment, at least not at first. I know PUAs like YaReally will stress the importance of getting out in the field and practicing Game – and he’s right, there is no substitute for the education you’ll receive from experience (and failure). However, what that ‘field’ looks like to you can be a great variety of environments.
For example, I sincerely doubt that many religious men would feel comfortable hitting the clubs in Vegas or Miami to practice Game. In fact, Game to them would be limited by their religious convictions, but that Game is still informed by the same Red Pill truth and awareness that Tyler Durden is using in his Game. So what’s to do?
Apply that Red Pill lens, awareness and truth to the social environment you already find yourself in. Game to me as a successful 47 year old creative professional isn’t going to be the same Game or social context you as a 25 year old up and coming anti-millennial will apply. And this is a good thing. One aspect of the manosphere I enjoy is seeing the countless ways in which Red Pill men apply themselves in their various circumstances. It’s very inspiring to see a high school kid and a 55 year old divorced man use the same Red Pill knowledge base to better their lives and achieve relatively predictable results because of it.
One subculture that I’ve been very familiar with for the better part of my life has been the ‘gamer’ subculture. Whether it’s been via my own quirky hobbies or the artists and developers I’ve worked with for years, I’ve been intimately familiar with geek or nerd culture for a very long time. The best part of having had this experience is that I’ve been familiar with it when I was both in my Blue Pill plugged in days and in my Red Pill awakening, to say nothing of being one of the foremost writers in the ‘sphere.
Niche SMPs
I started with all this because I believe it’s relevant to the conversation that got started with Hollenhund’s comment here:
It is rather important when you consider that the majority of the audience for films, video games etc. with the warrior princess trope are probably men. One male fantasy among many is the woman that is girly and feminine in appearance and body shape, but isn’t actually interested in girly stuff, and would rather discuss automatic weapons, martial arts, sports cars, military history etc. after draining your balls. She wears stylish clothes, but would rather go to the shooting range than the mall etc. Lara Croft is a typical example.
Definitely.
I’ve found this trope is most common among the gamer/nerd set. They tend to fetishize the non-conventionally hot “Gamer Girl” or “Geek Girl” who genuinely shares their love of war/video/ roleplaying games, cosplay, Dr. Who, comics, anime, etc. It also has an interesting parallel for guys who are devout sports fans and foolishly build their ideals around a woman who can quote sports stats, loves his team(s) and also loves beer and hot wings as much as himself.
This is what I call a niche sexual marketplace (SMP). As I was saying earlier, just like there are various niche social environs in which to apply Game, there are also niche SMPs that develop within those social contexts. Whether it’s sports, Goth, Christian, nerd, music, etc. or any other culture, the Red Pill truths remain a constant, but the context creates an SMP within it.
This Nerd niche SMP is readily exploited by girls who are otherwise outclassed in a larger SMP by girls who are far more sexy and attention holding. It’s important to remember that Nerd-Space used to be a Male Space that was infiltrated and co-opted by the Feminine Imperative. This infiltration is really standard and formulaic when you consider how the Feminine Imperative has co-opted and assimilated social structures as large as contemporary church culture.
Nerd Space
However, Nerd Space has been even more reformed by the imperative than most other traditionally Male Spaces; so much so that the organic girl-world social dynamics have become an integral part of the male subculture within it. You will never find more hostile a Beta White Knight than in Geek Culture because this Warrior Princess mythology is something they’ve been conditioned to evangelize for for most of their lives.
Embracing and pedestalizing Warrior Princesses is a critical component to a geek guy’s form of Beta Game. It’s ALL about identifying with the feminine and celebrating the fantasy that men and women are not just functional equals, but women are unrealized, patriarchally repressed, Warrior Princesses who (through rampant male idealism) necessarily share a mutual concept of what women should love in men who respect that fantasy with them. The nerd’s fantasy girl is one who finds him irresistible because he believes in women’s unrecognized superiority to male-kind.
There’s a very interesting microcosm within geek subculture that unsurprisingly mirrors virtually every intergender dynamic in larger society. As I was saying before this happens in every subculture – the basic, evolved, Red Pill social dynamics manifest themselves in any human collective – but what’s interesting is that geek culture presupposes that the subculture is founded on principles that make it functionally imune to the larger mainstream culture it considers sexist, racist, xenophobic and cruel. If you look at the social utopia that a franchise like Star Trek hoped to promote you can begin to understand it as a fantasized antithesis to the mainstream collective society geeks consider themselves outcast from.
However, even within a geek culture that despises that mainstream cruelty, AF/BB Hypergamy is still the primary order, but the geek microcosm revolves around making women feel good about themselves to such an exaggerated degree that feminism and fempowerment becomes part of ‘Gaming’ women within that subset. It’s Beta Game on steroids with a lot of ego-invested LARPing (live action role-playing, google it) that’s taken very seriously by the overwhelmingly Blue Pill guys who make up most of it.
Gamer Girl-World
It’s really entertaining to see these guys try to outdo each other when a girl enters that nerd space with even the resemblance of an interest in something nerd related. That glimmer of interest is like throwing a starving man a cracker in the desert most times, and the more conventionally beautiful and sexy she is the greater the effort, or the greater the default despair is for them.
I’ve covered male idealism in a generic sense before, however that idealism (the unhealthy kind) when put in the context of a noble nerd’s fantasy girl – who shares his passions, is considerate of his borderline autism and appreciates his non-patriarchal deference to her – she either becomes something he obsesses over (severe ONEits) or she represents the despair that only an unreachable dream can stir in a man.
That said, semi-attractive gamer girls do exist (nothing more than an HB 7.5 by my reckoning), but most fall into the demographic of ostracized weird girl or semi-goth, fuscia-haired outcast who never clicked with the in-group girls in high school.
Nerd culture represents an environment where a girl’s otherness makes them a prized commodity. Girls who find nerd/gamer culture either on their own or via their ‘cool nerd’ (see Emo-Goth) boyfriend soon discover a social subset whose males pedestalize to an even greater degree than the prissy in-group bitch girls who ostracized them enjoy from men. In fact that pedestalization, that identification, that default deference and autonomous sublimation to the feminine is integral to the nerd culture. So when you combine a gamer girl’s nerd-niche SMP dominance with the overblown pedestalizing most nerds will elevate them to, it recreates gamer girls in the contextual likeness of the in-group girls they despised and never got along with.
Most top shelf gamer girls tend to hook up with the elite, usually Emo, guys in the subculture. The exact same intersexual dynamics remain, but the context changes. All of the fundamental aspects of Hypergamy and social ego inflation remain, but now within a domain dependent environment they can finally exercise their sexual strategies in ways they never could in the social set they’ve been cut away from.
Vox Day had an absolutely brilliant breakdown of female characters in fantasy settings, and what struck me the most was how these archetypes mirrored both the idealized and hated archetype women nerd culture caricatures:
There are three types of women in the world of the Gamma Protagonist: The Corrupted, The Damsel, and The Strong Independent Woman. Average women, in terms of appearance, ability, and moral character, simply won’t exist outside of the occasional passing mention.
- The Corrupted are the female villains of the story who were once good, but were corrupted by men and are therefore not entirely responsible for their evil actions.
- Type one are blonde and athletic who likes athletic, powerful men. They are beyond redemption, and are rude, aloof, and hateful to the GP for no reason.
- Type two are voluptuous, dark seductresses. One of the greatest feats in the story will be the GP’s ability to resist the charms of the insatiable seductress. She will desire him to the point of absurd obsession for no discernible reason.
- The Damsel is an incredibly attractive women who is generally clueless about how attractive she is even though she is approached regularly by men. There will be half-hearted attempts by the author to include some traits of strength, but eventually she will need to be rescued by the GP. At which point, she will fall in love with him, of course.
- The Strong Independent woman is strong and independent. She also finds the GP irresistible because he respects her.
- She is the equal or better of the GP in at least one traditionally masculine ability, usually in physical strength and battle prowess.
- The GP finds it endearing and attractive that she bosses him around regularly, and she loves the arrangement too.
- The love interest of the GP will have large breasts, usually has red hair, and is the one to initiate sex in nearly every instance. She will be perfectly loyal unless corrupted by some sort of magical force or technological device.
I’m dropping this here, because it’s important to understand the Blue Pill analogous truths that manifest in these character types.
The Corrupted represents all the ‘normal’ women who’ve ever rejected or been casually indifferent to the male nerd. The Damsel is generally the foil for the Strong Independent Woman, whose use is only to serve to bolster the SIW’s superiority. The Damsel is also representative of women ignorant of their role under some vaudevillian notion of patriarchy. And the SIW woman is representative of the sexualized ideal that’s been approved for nerd guys to obsess over courtesy of the influences of the Feminine Imperative.
These are the archetypes for idealized (both positively and negatively) women in nerd space. Consequently, and unsurprisingly, these fantasy ideals are challenged by the real-life gamer girls who progressively begin to understand their own sexual market capital within this subculture’s men and, most often, unwittingly feed that beast.
All that said, if this is in fact your cultural subset, and even if not, it’s always important for you as a Red Pill aware man to bear in mind that the same articles of an intersexual marketplace are always present within any social context. Whether you’re in church or the club or your local game/comic book store Hypergamy doesn’t change, the game doesn’t change, only its contextual parameters change. Roissy had a great quote in the 16 Commandments of Poon (emphasis mine):
XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses
In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.
Gamer girls may not have been the type to pine for the high school quarterback, but they do pine for his functional equivalent in Nerd Space. Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks are equally relevant and equally subject to a woman’s capacity to optimize on them in Nerd Space. Her SMV may be artificially inflated within that context, but the mechanics remain the same. Everything you learn here or on any other Red Pill blog or forum is universally applicable in any social context – it’s up to you as a skilled and aware practitioner to observe the particulars of your environment, contrast it with Red Pill truths and apply Game accordingly.
For further reading see The Contextual Alpha.
@Sun – I can see your progress and am psyched for you. Particularly the comment about anger – I cosign. It’s useless and self-destructive and social poison. As for cashiers/wait staff i.e.; “the help” the key is to be able to spot actual interest/attraction versus just “nice girls” at work. IOIs are IOIs and you spike them by how you open. Calibration is also key – the social setting of work is often one where it’s not permissive for them to give you a number or kino etc. I’m working on this at my cafe and the great suggestion was… Read more »
Thank you to everyone who responded to my post – it feels great to have this much support albeit virtually. It’s given me so much to think about and process and apply. I’m sure I’ll be back here in a few weeks or months with more questions but for now -thank you. Some specific responses to each person below. Rollo – Thank you. Just another guy who has had his worldview changed by your writing and wishes he had learnt about this stuff in his twenties instead of when married with kids in his thirties. I don’t have the time… Read more »
@SJF – Wow, just a brilliant evo-pysch explication of our modern disease. The only thing that’s missing from it wrt our current dilemma is noting how Marxist-Progressive ideology has introduced the idea and practice of actively loathing and destroying our own culture as a political ideal. Not sure it’s parallel to the Aztecs as this is the intention of the Marxist-Progressive project.
When you synthesize these ideas in your own words and break it down the way you did here it’s just so powerful. No TLDR for me on that comment. Nice work.
So I’m trying not to ignore y’all and all these awesome FR’s we’re getting, I’m just crazy busy right now. Authoring a program to help people with chronic stress/adrenal fatigue and giving myself adrenal fatigue in the process, ha. Sun, I’d be stoked to to another roundtable! Sounds great to me man. Digireaper should pop on too, given his history. Sorry about the lack of FR’s all, but I’m gonna be going out this coming weekend. Fucking finally. I’ve had to stay in for the past few weeks and I never guessed how much I would hate that. Like cabin… Read more »
@Digireaper – Wow, from Brony to the Red Pill, great work! We are coming from very different points of view and experiences but in a way, my “old man” internal dialog is just as limiting as your’s. The real question for both of us is when are we willing to let go our own self-limiting, self-loathing beliefs? When are we willing to own our appetites and desires and feel entitled to them? While I have a lot more social experience and success that you, I can identify with your internal dialog. And here’s the truth – your progress will only… Read more »
Scribblerg
On your girl with the cockblock… The first thing Mystery does is whonare you here with? And how do you know each other?
Do this always first thing.
Probably some kind of date at least for the cockblock and you taking her out of set fucks up her night. Cockblock must be happy.
In other news, I’m finding myself at an impasse. Or maybe more of a precipice. Whatever, some perilous word. I mentioned a girl I met a few weeks back at a party that ended up being from a similar background to myself. Grabbed a number, have hung out twice – once in a group, once as an impromptu thing in public with a real time constraint that prevented me from taking things anywhere. She’s cute (maybe HB6.5 but has some features that really hit me right – you don’t often get natural platinum blonde hair thick as a handful and… Read more »
Redact that for Digireaper:
@SJF, Forge I really think you abdicated a great thing with The Man Table round-table discussions last year. You dropped the ball on a great thing.Sun, I’d be stoked to to another roundtable! Sounds great to me man. Yeah, I’ve been dealing with a lot of insecurities and bullshit the past few months that have made me feel like I couldn’t really effectively host. It’s stupid, I know, but I didn’t want to do it if I’m going to do a shit job of it. I don’t want to give anything but the best of me to the idea. I… Read more »
@Forge It gets back to my concept about how women see ‘three genders’ from back when, where alphas are sexual for them and betas just aren’t, whereas men tend to see just women – on a scale of greater or lesser desirability. It’s less binary. Way back before the ‘sphere, there was this pretty decent explanation that I read. It’s the whole reason that yeah we can divide dudes in to these increasing complicated heirarchies (alpha, beta, sigma, omega, horse fucker, etc) but in the end AF/BB is always enough. Dudes just want to know if they can get laid… Read more »
@Sentient – I asked her and she said she was her with her girlfriend. She was also talking to other men later, ignoring the chodes so I’m not sure how much of a date it was for the HB6. My guess is that the HB3.5 was with the fat slob and that this was a setup with the better looking chode. Seems to me a good wing would have been really helpful here to take one for the team with the hb3.5. But taking your input, roger = I should have pressed due to the other guys. “Did you come… Read more »
@ Forge Here’s some theory based on three sexes that you mention. Girls categorize men as: 1) Would bang if paid enough (beta; amount she would require varies by his unattractiveness), or 2) Would pay to bang him (e.g., alpha rock star or college basketball star). For fucking, men categorize girls as: 1) Not bangable even while drunk, 2) Bangable only while drunk, or 3) Bangable no matter what. For relationships, men categorize girls as: 1) ONS (BPD and other crazies) 2) orbiter only (fuglies) 3) booty calls (hot sex but little rapport) 4) plates (good sex with rapport and… Read more »
@ASD: re R1
@scribblerg – good FR dude. Not much to add except good to see you’re making progress and sticking to it. Guys generally – I’m reading more about Daniel Coyle’s book The Talent Code (about how skill and mastery is developed) and the Little Book of Talent (condensed practical lessons based on the ideas in the first book) which SJF originally recommended. It’s very good but particularly I wanted to highlight his distinction between “hard skills” and “soft skills”. Most activities have a blend of the two, but usually one aspect is predominant. Hard skills are those which are based on… Read more »
@Forge the Sky – glanced at your post re the blonde 6.5 who looks like a good fit for you on paper. I know you’re not seriously considering a relationship but dude: just don’t. In case any doubt is in your mind. I did a Mystery Method course aged 26 and while I was totally blue pill and had no idea bout hypergamy etc and underlying motivators, just following the system resulted in my results skyrocketing for a few months (first SNL, first club makeout, IOIs from HB8s, plenty of numbers etc). Then I met a cute HB6 I got… Read more »
Heheh, Culum “….what really struck me is how closely the advice he gives in relation to soft skills mirrors the advice given by YaReally, Scray and other pickup experts on how to develop PUA/social skills (which are classic soft skills). Which essentially boils down to collecting as many reference experiences as quickly as possible and pushing comfort zones to build a solid base of knowledge which is then applied dynamically to changing situations on the fly (with a view to improving by rapidly gaining feedback in terms of the results of your experimentation).” TIP #9 TO BUILD SOFT SKILLS, PLAY… Read more »
@Forge
“Marry only if you want to have kids and support them in the immediate short term.”
^This.
Also. This is adorable shit that makes me realize about the real meaning of the “Amused” in Amused mastery.
Bwahahahaha.
This is a comment I made back on Jan 31 on Coyle’s book and why it was good for tips on how to develop talent and getting up to speed in PUA game:
http://therationalmale.com/2016/01/25/ovulation-dread/comment-page-6/#comment-138161
The Little Book of Talent: 52 Tips for Improving Your Skills:
http://www.amazon.com/Little-Book-Talent-Improving-Skills/dp/034553025X/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
@kfg
+1 for the Foghorn Leghorn reference
Scribblerg “No thought or strategy” you will find 90% of the time this will be your undoing. That’s why I encourage SNL game to hone your skills, it focuses everything. I’ll have more tomorrow in this because it i a huge sticking point. “It was shocking how the HB3.5 acted just like the PUA guys and infield vids say she would.” everything, and I mean everything plays out exactly as demonstrated, time after time… the only time things don’t are when YOU are missing something, and when later you get it it all clicks. This ground is well trod. “my… Read more »
@SJF & Culum – Soft skills – this is why bars/nightclubs are by far the best place to build game skills. The kind of stuff you can pull is simply not acceptable in other places. You can also be pretty sure it’s disconnected from the rest of your social network if you pick the place carefully so unlike many other venues, your social downside is small. You also get many more chances to approach and escalate and finally, there is also pre-selection as women who want to get laid are much more likely to be out at the clubs. It’s… Read more »
@Sentient – Thanks. Great advice and insight..
@ScribblerG
I enjoyed that field report. You had fun. You were fun. You added value to others that you met. And the potential wing sounds cool–Heh mentor him well.
You were adventurous and you got a fix of dopamine from the experience. I’m happy for you because it looks like like you are going to make it through winter in a good mood. (time flies)
Congrats and keep it up.
Scribbs
“I should have pressed due to the other guys. “Did you come here with them?” “Are you on a date?” etc.”
Asking the girl, in front of the guy “oh – is this your boyfriend?” is epic… LOL. Try it.
@SJF – Thanks, brother. Indeed, I’m retraining my neurology recently in very intense ways. One of the keys for me is anxiety reduction. Also from a psychological basis I catch when I’m alienating from myself, which may sound weird but it’s very real to me. What it looks like is that I have a very negative conversation about myself going on in my head. I used to call that reality. It’s like I stopped trusting myself or something, and felt like I betrayed myself and was always filled with regret and fear at some basic, inchoate level. It’s just so… Read more »
@Scrib
“Indeed, I’m retraining my neurology recently in very intense ways.”
“It’s just so shocking that the Red Pill and game are having me heal that.”
“So great to have the support of you guys here.”
You are the man that made me aware of neuroplasticity via Marc Lewis last July. And that concept your help changed my life and Game for the better. I’m not shocked.
First, thanks to Rollo Tomassi for creating this blog and selflessly helping other guys.
Second, thanks to whoever invented the manosphere (otherwise know as guys helping guys). It was a good invention.
@Sentient – I’m not a moron. I wouldn’t ask those questions in front of the guys. Point is taken nonetheless.
Scribblerg
“@Sentient – I’m not a moron. I wouldn’t ask those questions in front of the guys. Point is taken nonetheless.”
No not a moron… LOL… Just inexperienced. You WANT to ask that because 8/10 times she is NOT with him, he is not her boyfriend, but the guy thinks he has a shot… So she shoots him down in cold blood right then and there and you have a clear path.
Do it. Not kidding…. LOL
and the other 20% it’s true, so you can move on… No lose.
But seriously most of the time she will say “he’s not my boyfriend” or “we’re just friends”…
Play it up “this your boyfriend? Really you guys make a cute couple. No? OK”
he he he…
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/paris-attacks-footage-shows-party-6865393
It’s a natural response…
“Moments before her death she screamed “He’s not my boyfriend” after police demanded to know the location of Paris massacre mastermind Abdelhamid Abaaoud.”
Scribb, Awesome to hear your progress man! Your FR has a totally different vibe to it compared to even recent ones. It sounds like a state of flow. Guys hit the specific feedback already; ya, in general the idea is that the ‘set’ is only 50% generating attraction. The other 50% is various logistics shit. It’s a weird phase you hit – where when you’re in set you can feel the attraction generated, you can see she wants more of you, just between the two of you it’s a done deal, but some extraneous bullshit prevents it – and it… Read more »
>you as a 25 year old up and coming anti-millennial will apply.
24 actually but nice guess
@Scribblerg >”The only thing that stands between you becoming a guy who is good with women and getting laid with some regularity is getting rejected a few times by some girl. A few bad moments – think about it. Do you actually, deep down inside care that much? Is it that meaningful if some girl laughs at you? What does it actually mean? Very little in the grand scheme of things. What’s really stopping you is your own made up fears and I guarantee you that they will dissolve if you really take on gaming at a deep level intellectually… Read more »
@Forge – You are provider qualifying to this woman, hence her wanting to lock you down. How do I know this? She’s trying to lock you down for monogamy before you’ve had sex even once. That’s not normal, you shouldn’t have commit to monogamy ahead of time. Tell her that you might become monogamous at some point but that her being so demanding so early is a real turn off for you and soft-next her. AWALT. Be Chad Thundercock, not her Knight in Shining Armor. Be her dirty little secret. Be the mistake she keeps making over and over and… Read more »
YaReally Sentient Scray HABD Forge scribblerg HABD et al Was exhausted on Sunday from late Sat night and early wakeup on Sunday but had a free evening and was determined to try some Sentient style solo game. Only went out for 60-90 mins. Hit up a trendy hotel bar – quite busy and buzzing but not packed. Music but not loud. Good volume. Total hipster central – the man-buns and styled beards were blinding. No single women. Lots of couples and small groups and a few people alone who looked like business travellers (buried on their phones). Hung out at… Read more »
@Sentient “90% of my pick up is business travel, dropped into a city alone no wings… And hit it hard because its all snl or nothing game. No numbers no day twos… Snl game really focuses you because you are playing against the clock as well… Hence understanding logistics and dynamics early and bouncing early.” That’s why the RSD instructors are good and why Julien has been ahead of the pack for a while. These guys fly all over the world doing their bootcamps/tours and are only in cities for a couple days so they have to push for SNLs… Read more »
whoops fucked up the link, was supposed to be:
Also mad props to all the guys writing FRs. Good to see this place littered with them lol The RVF guys called the TRM commenters a bunch of keyboard jockeys and shit, glad to see you guys proving them wrong lately.
[…] Rollo Tomassi has recently offered a post on “Gamer Girls”, in an attempt to explain how girls who are “other” to society still fit into the general rules of human nature, in their own ways. And it is a difficult one. In principle, women are more socially malleable than men. We adjust and adapt to environment as women who adapted to sudden cultural shifts had greater survival and reproduction prospects. And yet some women stubbornly refuse to “adapt” to popular culture, even in the face of ostracization. Therefore, whilst the basic urges regarding friends, family and partnering may still… Read more »
Thank nova I’m not a people person.
@YaReally and all: FR (self amusing/giving positive energy) Went to Chic-Fil-A on Friday. Got out of car. Saw 48-year-old milf walk in door. Knew I had to open with anything. Get to line and an even hotter 28-year-old built like a brick house girl is in front of the lady I had to open. Wished I came in a bit earlier to be directly behind her, but the line snakes back and fourth anyhow, so I was close enough to them both from where I was standing. Before the open, I hear this crabby father yelling at his kids at… Read more »
Super inspiring thread. Thanks everyone.
@Ya – Thanks for all the great feedback. It’s interesting how resistant I am to learning from Mystery or Tyler etc, even as much as I enjoy their vids now and am learning some aspects. It’s like I revert back to “Natural Game” instinctively. The good news is that some of it works really well as I’m authentic and can instantly approach and escalate when I feel it. But I reject strategy in the moment. I’ve read and listened to the MM Group Theory stuff but simply ignored it. Only when you recalled it in your comment did it even… Read more »
Guys, aside from reading, reading, reading, what do you recommend as the steps to be taken to move towards a more Alpha/Red Pill model of life. After decades with a woman (major shrew) who broke down any assertiveness I may have had, I am feeling as it may all be too late to recover(49yo), and she is now doing it to my 14 yo son, who texted me the other night “how did you keep a marriage with mom for 19 years, I can barely talk to her for 5 minutes without wanting to jump out of the car”. After… Read more »
Meet your international Hypergamy queen: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/12185145/Padma-Lakshmi-lifts-the-lid-on-her-marriage-to-Salman-Rushdie.html “Miss Lakshmi developed endometriosis, a painful condition affecting the lining of the womb, she writes that Sir Salman was unsympathetic. When she refused sex due to the pain, he would reply: “How convenient.” “It’s not that I didn’t want to be there for him, but something was very deeply wrong,” she said. “And I didn’t understand it. And that caused a whole lot of misunderstanding.” ” “As soon as she was able to leave the house she went to a divorce lawyer. (she)….went on to become involved with Ted Forstmann, the billionaire chief executive… Read more »
@TheMarquis ” So I DO give her comfort, but from a position of strength – you might almost say I give her my strength and reassurance to lean on – NOT fix her emotions or try to pander to her.” Yeah, well said. This is how I view it. “The prescription seems to be basically what Andy and Chump No More have said – so for e.g. if she says “You won’t leave me for another woman will you?” then the response is a “No” and maybe a quick hug and then MOVE ON, without trying to fix her insecurity… Read more »
@ Newlyaloof Do you have a WordPress blog with the same name? I was linked to a compilation of YaReally’s comments from Heartiste (separate from YaReally archives) that could possibly be of some help to some of the guys asking questions upthread like IAS, EON and Digireaper. YaRelly. Questions about how do I start going out to nightclubs at first. This link below seems to be a synthesized cliff notes version for newbies. (N.B. I’m pretty highly integrated socially, but want to help out some newbies.) On the link following, particularly the paragraph on “On Having A GAME Game Plan… Read more »
@SJF, yeah just too lazy to type it out sometimes.
Betamaxed – ” Any tips?”
Yes. See girl. Go to girl. Say “hey” to girl.
start there. Then follow Yareally’s Newbie guide (yareally archive) to start filling in the blanks.
There is NO reason not to say Hey though. Take that constructive first step. Your balls are counting on you!
@Enrique Re: Lakshmi Here’s where men need to not whine about the nature of women. And get better. And yes Preventative medicine is the key. Here was where Rushdie bit off more than he could chew. He should have been better (at Game), or chosen more wisely (more likely the correct binary choice). “Their fights grew so intense that at one point he called her “a bad investment.”” “It’s not that I didn’t want to be there for him, but something was very deeply wrong,” she says. “And I didn’t understand it. And that caused a whole lot of misunderstanding.”… Read more »
He got gamed, and I like her sudden surgery and all that (if that even really happened).
She will be with some hook ups, no pain during sex. Dude got gamed.
I just want to thank yareally for his posts. I am 50 coming out of an almost 20 year marriage. His posts have always seemed reasonable compared to his super negative opponents. I always thought he was advertising RSD though. I watched a bunch of the videos (actually I listened to them while working with head phones- which somehow works for me) and saw that they have a lot of value. I tried an approach last night. Just one but that is all I told myself I had to do. It does wake up your brain. I was bad but… Read more »
@Newly and SJF – Oh shit, that YaReally thread is gold. Makes so much clear. My opens are great but my approach is all fucked up. My internals are actually better than my game, I’m DHVing too much and not actually “gaming”. I’m still playing to their rational mind.
My NYC plans changed and now I’m local again. Didn’t actually get to cafe yesterday so I’m going to work there this afternoon, starting just a bit before the hotties get off shift. He he. Close for meet at other venue. More to come.
File under Evo-bio.
A quick interview with an Evo-bio author on culture as a specific genetic advantage. This no doubt plays into RP world. It’s an interesting theory about how humans are tit useless as individuals but as organized groups, aka cultures, they are extremely effective.
It speaks to cultural learning as a genetic adaptation etc.
Fun stuff, easy listen.
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/quirks/quirks-quarks-for-mar-5-2016-1.3476348/the-secret-of-our-success-1.3476440
Culum “Couple of girls came and ordered at the bar but they were too far from my stool for me to open. ” “lack of access to targets (very weird to open groups like you would in a nightclub)” Couple things, because hotel bars are usually less crowded (though there are many that are really just straight up clubs without much dance floor i.e. Whiskey Bar in W hotel, the bars at the SLS in South Beach etc) you need to be more mobile. [side note, when arranging your business travel seek out the hotter hotel bar hotels vs staying… Read more »
@Scribb, Glad you like it, man. I’ll try to update that page one day. I got tired of constantly looking for YaGold, so I put it on one page for my own benefit originally (and to eventually use it to teach my son). Cool that other people are liking it.
@Betamax “I don’t like to drink and I’m into outdoor stuff. I have avoided night clubs for that reason. Any tips?” Being older, you want to develop new habits. It is easier than breaking old habits of socializing. (Read Daniel Coyles book.) It is not to late, but it takes time to develop a new you. There is no question that it is possible to re-create yourself. Some of your salvation will come in the form of hanging out with other men. In order to get with women. The best way to attract women is to be attractive, fun, confident… Read more »
” . . . humans are tit useless as individuals but as organized groups, aka cultures, they are extremely effective.”
One man would be hard pressed to run down an antelope. Four men, each with different skill tasks, only require persistence to get the job done.
Agent P – that Dr. Joseph Henrich radio interview ties in nicely with some of the ideas put forward by Yuval Harari (historian at Hebrew University of Jerusalem, that Rugby pointed out here a few posts ago) – collaboration – what makes it possible? It is the defining feature of humanity and so is very relevant to any discussion wrt to humankind (especially discussions about our social nature).
@ Betamaxed I am still married to the shrew,and can vaguely remember a time in my life of happy alpha freedom.The kids are all moved out,and she spends her time in facebook,candyland,feminist sitcoms,manipulative gossip w/ the kids,and work.when she comes home from work it’s a constant solipsistic bitch fest to listen to till she gets it off her chest, then I am put on ignore and anything I have to say is to the back of a laptop, and gets zero response.I have learned not to share any ideas or dreams as they will be shot down. She became very… Read more »
@Wild Man: “– collaboration – . . . It is the defining feature of humanity . . .”
You have just admitted termites to the ranks of humanity.
@StuffinBox, You fight fires, but don’t fight for your own fire! Only two things can change that – death, or you leaving and getting your fire back.
@Ya, Scray – How do I best elicit a shit test? Cuz I’m starting get that this is just like selling in some ways – I’m not really selling until I elicit an objection…
I think I can only really DHV well by reacting to shit tests so it seems that the shortest route to a shit test is the way forward.
Scribblerg “I think seeing through the ego gratifciation/buffers and the easy payoff of an IOI or a good open is key, and I imagine reacting the same way to a lay is an even bigger problem.” Good. You are getting to what I wanted to point out to you. It’s a huge sticking point that beginners fall into… validation seeking. A lot of bad game, especially if you have had some success in the past, so it’s not “new” completely to you (i.e. if you have NEVER done it at all, you are more likely to just follow proscribed path… Read more »
Good article, better thread. It’s entertaining as fuck to read ya’ll FR’s and critiques/responses. @Digireaper, you had me cracking up, with the Brony/Cosplay fetish details, why am i not surprised? I always thought there was something freaky about that whole subculture. Group cosplay orgies isn’t too far off from what I imagined. As far as gamer girls.. I grew up playing videogames, but I was also a pretty social/active kid and back in my day (early 30s) gaming was pretty much a boys sport, there weren’t any gamer girls to speak off, so a lot of the dynamics in the… Read more »
@Newly
Having considered both options thoroughly,i have taken to the practice of being a daytripper. And while the candle still burns at only one end,the other end is charred and could easily be lit.
It is kind of stupid when I step back and see two people waiting for the death of the other stuck in a stalemate.
And if there weren’t so many other players involved I would definitely dump the board and set up a new game.
@Culum “Then she herself suggested moving somewhere for an alcoholic drink” This means “I like you and want to fuck you but I need more Comfort, I only have Attraction mainly right now”. She’s stalling for time a bit ’cause she’s hoping you’ll build more non-sexual Comfort. At the next venue I would focus more on Comfort than escalating. “and we moved to a nearby quiet pub (on the way there I pulled her to me on the street and groped her ass and was like “no I’m not going to kiss you” and just nuzzled her neck..then she refused… Read more »
@Degenerate I should quit anime. I know I’m digging up the first page here, but figured I might address this. Don’t buy in to the guys who insist that because something is a part of nerd culture you can no longer have any part in it. While I’ve largely stopped playing video games (too much of a time sink), I’ve not stopped watching anime. Do I do the con circuit or spend cash on figures and the like anymore? Is it a central part of life along with video games anymore? Nah. It’s still a valid story-telling medium and a… Read more »
@YaReally Wow…. Thanks for the tips….. I have been reading your archives but its like drinking from a fire hose. A little overwhelmed at this point. I am making an effort to have at least one conversation with a HB5+ per day. Usually pretty harmless as I’m just trying to connect, but its giving me more self confidence. @SFJ Same story, mine has had medical issues since our early 20’s. I felt it was my duty to put up with everything to take care of her. She is thankless. Thinks the world revolves around her and is always the victim.… Read more »
@Stuffinbox,
Wow, why don’t you just leave her? Or do something different that’s just totally orthogonal to what you’re doing? You sound miserable.
Miserable man ain’t gonna help no-one, least of all himself.
“I asked some woman why she had a crown on. she said it was her birthday and I said happy birthday and left. super minimal but I learned that I speak too softly (she literally could not hear me) I was basically invisible to her. Also, why else was she wearing a crown? Until I asked I somehow thought that maybe she could have won some sort of contest. She came in on a Sunday night right after midnight – clearly she just turned 21.” Throw this out there… any girl with a crown on, or a sash or similar… Read more »
@Betamaxed
Funny like a bitch dog that brain of hers got stuck in a cycle she can’t or has no desire to pull out of. It sounds like you are making good headway in game and self esteem,hat tip.
@Forge
I had to look up orthogonal,i like the statistically independent def.best.
Sometimes it does help to commiserate,keeping in mind that we can become used to uncomfortable circumstances.Even to the point that they become who we are. Everyone has a pity party once in awhile but we have to put a time limit on this shit,a short one.
@Culum – Regarding your first FR My perspective is that you did fine and you know exactly what you could have done differently, right down to the ass slap lol. The key is that you saw her IOIs for what they were; most guys would miss them entirely. Regarding FR#2 Damn man we should hang out sounds like we are in the same boat lol. You sound like you did everything right, she was digging you and horny. My advice is the same advice you gave me/Yareally and others have given me: Insanely tiny baby steps. Like lead her outside… Read more »
One last post today…
” I felt so alive and natural. It felt like a lion must feel pursuing gazelles on the plains. It was like being more myself, not an act. Something very visceral and fully satisfying and engaging about it.”
This is the first step towards pursuing life by the Platinum Rule [Do what you want to do whenever you want to do it] – free from conventions, free from obligations, free from expectations… free.
[…] it anyhow as he contemplates dominion-dependent sexual marketplace value of women, particularly as it relates to nerd spaces:It’s really entertaining to see these guys try to outdo each other when a girl enters that […]
The gaming industry is a billion dollar industry. It’s easy to predict an increase of female interest in this market. Women will never associate themselves to anyone who isn’t a source of value. It’s usually men who pave the path and venture themselves to new unexplored territory. Only once they manage to find something of value, then women follow and attach themselves to that source of value. A woman having only guy friends is the equivalent mating strategy to a lone wolf isolating a girl. Both don’t want to be subject of comparison with the competition so they create a… Read more »
@Ya – Holy shit. So much to digest and I will go through every bit of what you shared later today, with a fine toothcomb. For the record, I never once threatened anyone with violence here, I never do that online. But yes, the wild rage and aggression is completely self-destructive and not good for a community or any social setting. You’ll notice I gave up on it last thread and just made my most persuasive case against white separatism and race realism and moved on. Huge growth for me (and admitting all this shit makes me just a tad… Read more »
Like Tyler said back in his old cocky 2 hour audio speech: the stuff we’re teaching will be studied by science one day and taught in the mainstream in 100 years or whatever.
The first half is somewhat plausible. The second half is highly, highly unlikely.
@kfg
“You have just admitted termites to the ranks of humanity.”
Yep – pretty much, and so you make good point.
Maybe better said is – “collaboration as energized by personal agency . . . It is the defining feature of humanity . . .”
I’d give the world unlimited Bunny Ranch vouchers if everyone would stop using the term “woo woo” for everything, right up there with “wrap my head/brain” around this, “unpack”, starting sentences with “so…” and junior high girl’s habit of “uptalk” (?).
just sayin
YaReally: “The field forces you to fix all your issues because it’s in girls’ survival interest to be able to spot your fucked up subcomms and self-doubts and punish you for not confronting them head-on and dealing with them. That’s why I’m happy as a clam all the time. I wasn’t when I started out, I was a negative self-doubting cynical about the world little fucker lol I had to work hard to break out of that shit. Going out night after night solo, the field wouldn’t LET me be fucked up like that. Now I have years of going… Read more »
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pdoFNlaDNI?feature=player_embedded&w=640&h=360%5D Okay, I know Ya will vehemently disagree, but I got a few minutes so I’ll throw my two cents up against the wall. I’d like to see guys develop strength in all manner. The eyeball thing Tyler is doing… I want guys to learn to be 100% immune to that. Never. Let. Another. Man. Punk. You at such a basic level. I may have seen a guy or two try the whole eyeball thing with me in life, but basically zfg. It means nothing. Lol, and damn, Tyson is doing something completely different irl. It is being interpreted… Read more »
…I mean ” I wanna HEAR..”
HAH! Well, we knew this was coming.
@Blax, most dudes are hesitant to look other men in the eyes. For good reason at times since such actions can get you into trouble especially in certain demographics. But, good practice with this is to do it while driving to and from with opposing traffic coming the other way. Just look the other drivers in the eyes and resist looking away if they stare back. It’s retarded at first how you feel scared doing it; then you realize how stupid that is since you’ll probably never see that person again. I’ve been doing this for a few years for… Read more »
@ newlyaloof
I agree that men should look in men’s eyes when interacting, but watch the Tyler vid. That shit looks crazy to me.
That’s why I commented that I want guys to have ” strength “, but they don’t need to be a douche about it. That’s called ” Try Too Hard “.
Yes, they eyeball thing is for chicks. 100%.
Stare at the wrong guy on the wrong day and BOOM. Justifiably so imo. Everybody isn’t happy-go-lucky. Especially many of us guys.
@Enrique Meet your international Hypergamy queen: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/12185145/Padma-Lakshmi-lifts-the-lid-on-her-marriage-to-Salman-Rushdie.html One reason I’m a fan of Rushdie is I marvel at how this fat old droopy-eyed writer-walla from the Mystic East time and again lands solid poon, of whom Ms. Padma is perhaps the most famous, but by no means only conquest. I am guessing he is a natural alpha who falls into some beta-chodeness once he has the goods in hand, a common fault. Plus he is one stubborn motherfucker, that’s probably what pisses her off most of all. Alpha widowed, or she wouldn’t be writing about him. And as noted she… Read more »
@Blaximus Stare at the wrong guy on the wrong day and BOOM. Justifiably so imo. Everybody isn’t happy-go-lucky. Especially many of us guys. I tend to read body language first, then decide if I go eye-to-eye with a guy. Generally I get great results by immediately saying hi and extending a hand. Dudes immediately trust me, and often at bars when people meet me and a dude I just started talking to I hear “How long have you two known each other? You seem like great friends!” It’s just a case of learning to cold read as many things as… Read more »
I think eye-to-eye contact is important when dealing with wanna be tough guys, especially in public transit. I’ve seen more than one bigot turn away when they realized I’d scrap (and I would as a BJJ/Judoka and Boxer). I hate dudes that try to bully folks just riding the subway.
And I hate bigots. Especially the type that think people are afraid of them.
Another thought on my comment above re: women helping men fix their wiring: We sometimes observe here that women are really good at raising young children – giving them the basic emotional wiring they need to build all their skills/personality on top of. And then past that men tend to be better at developing boy’s skills, self-image, frame etc. after that. The theme I see is that the sorts of issues that ‘come up’ for people during pickup are the sorts of things that ideally you would have learned in early life – or that you did learn and had… Read more »
@ YaReally Yup, everyone, especially the badass Natural alpha male older guys who’ve settled down and handled a lot of their internal damage, think I’m full of shit when I say stuff like that. Like oh YaReally doesn’t know what he’s talking about, he’s some stupid kid, I once killed a man in ‘Nam, that’s REAL struggle, talking to some dumb bar girl is easy anyone can do it no problem. They don’t get how fucked up most guys are and how much throwing yourself at a bunch of girls in a nightclub forces you to deal with your internal… Read more »
Re: Eye contact. I learned to get comfortable with direct eye contact from years of fencing competitively. You simply must focus on the face (mask) of your opponent because you can’t possibly follow a weapon tip with your eyes. It’s one of the first things I was taught when I picked up the sport in college and I learned it had other uses (with women) when I was in my 20s. Direct eye contact is central to an animal’s attack posture, and thus indicative of potential conflict. Did you ever get into staring contests with your siblings or friends when… Read more »
@ Rollo ” That potential for conflict that a stare cues in people is either very threatening to women, or it’s very arousing to women; it depends on context and expression. A blank stare is creepy, an expressionless stare is intimidating, a stare with a smirk is inviting, but always remember that direct eye contact is central to a potential for conflict – particularly with other men, but keep in mind what that potential for confrontation means to women.” Well put. I get that Tyler is speaking more to the friendly, jokey mode, but I just want anyone taking his… Read more »
@YaReally Epic post. I was thinking about some of those things, including how to leverage my female “friendships”—girls who are younger but married or that are cute but not someone I’m interested in. I just entered a Latin dance contest. There were a number of reasons—winning and dancing were low on the list. The two girls I asked are hot but just “friends”–both agreed to do it and their only question was “when is it?” We had no time to practice, they were obviously concerned. But I simply said “more fun if we improvise” and that closed the deal. They’re… Read more »
@Blaximus
I don’t know how much these guys charge for a seminar,looking at the size of one maybe for an extra 5 bucks a head they could afford to hire some HB9.75 models for these guys to practice the eye contact with.
Someone might want to wire his ass shut for that IRL.
Want to HEAR more?
@ Stuff
You know, that is actually a great idea. Holy shit, that would be epic and much more useful.
On the other hand it could turn out like the guy that tried to start a whore house and fucked up all the profits.
“Really there is no “comfort zone” in life beyond an illusive temporary sense of suspended security.” that’s more than enough for me and I get it primarily from three places; 1. sex. getting lost in fucking is probably the best way, also the easiest and most natural but you can’t do it alone. good reason to get married to a hottie as you can just grab her and plow her as needed. women like to be taken/used/manhandled. they need it actually. her: “you’re only with me becuase of the sex and how I look” me: “fact” she says this like… Read more »
“she wants to know, not think, but know, that you could walk out the door tomorrow and get a woman just as hot or hotter to suck your cock and make you dinner. comfort is your enemy. comfort does not make pussies wet. never has never will.”
Concur… if you are going to shade, shade on the side of shit testing… Real comfort tests are pretty rare…
I spent labor day weekend with the boys. They camped out and since I live close went home to a nice bed. Had to pass a tough shit test at midnight got laid and went back for horseshoes and beer the next day too. The wife stopped by to check in so I sent her on a beer and cigar run.Later around the fire pit I was talking about the shit test and bill asked what is a shit test? Well that is a test to see if you still have any balls.Tom says yah I noticed her looking around… Read more »