Attitude Sells

attitude_sells

There are many attitudinal and subtle behavior traits that manifest in men who are presented with options or enjoy even casual social proof. I’m not sure a lot of guys really realize just how sensitive women are to those ‘tells’. You will do things, say things, without thinking about them that indicate on a limbic level what you believe about yourself. Women have evolved to perceive the smallest cues and subtlest of hints – to the point it’s a subconscious subroutine running in their background processing of information about you when they’re not even cognitively aware of it.

They may not be able to consciously put a finger on it, but on some level of consciousness these tells are informing a woman’s limbic understanding of your SMV.

I’ve gone back and forth about covert communications vs. overt communications on this blog over the years. There is a certain school of Game that teaches a bold, direct action wherein a guy overtly inserts himself into that woman’s immediate experience and I can certainly see the merits of it.

Law 28
Enter into action with boldness

If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.

There is a certain gravitas that accompanies an extroverted approach with women, the trick is not coming off as a ‘try hard’ and overplaying it, thereby overtly confirming your following a script. When you don’t believe it’s you it’s a pretty good bet she doesn’t either.

A lot of proponents of this in-your-face approach will tell you it’s the only way a “real” man should interact with women; boldly and confidently, and entirely on his terms. And while I agree with this, how you go about effecting that can vary depending on context and condition.

When a guy is initially establishing Frame and drawing the woman (women) of his choosing into his reality, that overt, direct approach can be the deciding factor for a woman’s acquiescing to his Frame. Caught up in the moment (such as an ‘insta-date’ or an encounter she wasn’t expecting) and charging her with an immediate rush of endorphins, a woman’s Hypergamous filtering process gets overridden by that excitement. This is the same principle operating behind planning dates with an excitement factor involved (rock climbing, sky diving, are both exaggerations, but you get the idea) – an emotional attachment paired with an endorphin rush associates that ‘feeling’ with you.

There’s a tendency I think for Red Pill aware men to view women’s Hypergamous / Solipsistic natures as hinderances to men effecting their own interests with them. Shit tests, filtering, sexual prospect comparison and a whole host of other conscious and subconscious vetting inherent to women seems like an insufferable waste of effort for men. However, while Hypergamy may define the rules of the game it’s important for men to understand how to work it to their advantage in both a direct approach and in understanding the subtle filtering that women do.

I’ve read more than a few ‘dating gurus’ define this “being direct with her” approach as the only legitimate form of Game. A Real Man® sees what he wants and goes out and boldly gets it. The problem is that this attitude gets tied to The Male Catch 22 and any derivation is compared with unmanliness.

As I said, while I agree there’s merit to this directness, it shouldn’t be done at the cost of understanding how women subconsciously vet and filter to better discern a man’s (perceptively) true sexual market value to her – as well as how she contrasts his SMV to her self-perceived SMV. There is nothing “unmanly” about having a curiosity for how the female mind works and then using that understanding to your advantage.

Maintaining Frame

It’s one thing to draw that woman into your reality and your psychological Frame, it’s another to maintain this Frame once she’s stepped into it.

I went into some of the subtle ‘tells’ about a man’s SMV in Alpha Tells and Beta Tells and the subcommunication messaging that transfers between men and women. In these posts I described the process beneath those tells and what’s being communicated in them. One thing I believe even Red Pill aware men subscribe to is the idea that their Frame can only be maintained by the same overt and bluntly direct means that helped them create it.

This is the root of men’s initial anxiety of having to upkeep their Red Pill “act”; “Red Pill is impossible to float all the time! What? Am I expected to Game my LTR forever?” The answer of course is internalizing Red Pill awareness into one’s personality, but one thing that also goes along with that is the manifesting of behaviors that help maintain your Frame.

Women pick up on behavioral cues, attitude, how things affect you, how you apply yourself to a task, how you deal with adversity and certainly the interplay you engage in with her while playing with her. If you’re thinking that women wanting men who Just Get It is all direct Game and all above board you need to reconsider that quite a bit of women’s filtering occurs when you’re not ‘on‘ and she’s casually picking up on your behavioral cues.

She want’s you to ‘get it’ on your own, without having to be told how. That initiative and the experience needed to have had developed it makes you a Man worth competing for. Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant. Overtly relating this to a guy entirely defeats his credibility as a genuinely dominant male. The guy she wants to fuck is dominant because that’s ‘the way he is’ instead of who she had to tell him to be.

Observing the process will change it. This is the root function of every shit test ever devised by a woman. If masculinity has to be explained to a man, he’s not the man for her.

Much of a woman’s vetting process takes place in her hindbrain. It’s very easy for most guys in western(ized) culture to presume that hot, but vapid, women are too oblivious to really pay much attention to this process. Lost in their hedonism and self-affirmations it’s easy to believe that those processes aren’t as influential in hook-ups as they might be in a long term arrangement, but trust that even though they might be under the surface they are being processed.

Mindset

It’s a Tomassi Maxim now, but bears repeating; Alpha is a mindset, not a demographic. I’ve explained what I mean by this on many occasions, but when it comes to what I consider the abstraction that is Alpha it can primarily be reduced to a particular mindset of masculine dominance and confidence.

I wont belabor this here again, but suffice to say that while I believe there is a natural component to it, I do think that to varying degrees this Alpha mindset, or something approaching it, is a learnable state for men. That said, I also think men need to use caution when when evaluating how to go about cultivating and internalizing this mindset.

It’s very easy to get caught up in the hope for a magic solution to your problems in life. There’s no shortage of motivational speakers and charismatic ‘self-help’ gurus ready to sell you a book, or a sermon, or some self-styled social movement promising to show you how to develop this “winners’ mindset”. It’s important to bear in mind that any mindset you learn is only as legitimate as the realities that inform it.

A lot of hate directed at PUAs, motivational speakers, pastors or even your parents can be traced back to their failings in understanding simple evidential realities. Their hopeful formulas for your success end up being frustrations and anxieties when they’ve proven to fail you because you invest yourself in part, or in whole, in them.

Much of what constitutes Blue Pill conditioning is founded in the same misgivings. It’s very easy to hype up and sensationalize Blue Pill idealisms in ‘optimism’ soaked rhetorics, but these hopes are easily dispelled with a Red Pill aware lens. That’s one reason the Red Pill can be bitter – it’s a real buzz kill when you’re high on Blue Pill optimism.

The primary reason I’ve always been reluctant to be prescriptive with Red Pill awareness in practice is because I’ve always believed that the Red Pill is never going to be one size fits all. While Red Pill truths are universal, their application is subjective to the man employing them. How he develops the mindset that best serves him is contextual to his own circumstance.

That said, I think a pragmatic approach based on Red Pill awareness and the fundaments that make it up would serve men best in developing a Red Pill mindset that works for him. You might think that in light of my recent Purple Pill post that I’m alluding to the ‘coaches’ and re-definers of the Red Pill in all this, but lots of “Red Pill” men are actually Purple Pill hoping that some of the old rules might still apply.

While I emphatically recognize the power of positive thought in altering one’s mindset and changing the course of one’s life, I also understand that zeal for change needs to be tempered with a healthy skepticism. If you find yourself being swept up in a tide of super-optimism that’s the time to question the foundations of it. Positive, motivational memes can become clichéd aphorisms when those foundations are proven to be false.

401 comments

  1. Optimism and pessimism are both bullshit. Sugar-coating the world and the way it is will not make it sweeter. Alternatively, hating everything and being bitter about life cannot be a worldview that will last forever. Instead of being optimistic (or pessimistic), seek truth. The truth may not make you happier, per se, but it can make you stronger, will provide you with more substance, and will alleviate much needless suffering in your life.

  2. Assess the current self with realism, view its future with optimism.

    Always assess the world around you with realism. Always.

  3. Uh oh, here comes Rhonda Byrne’s henchmen… “As long as I think happy thoughts then everything in life will be great!” No, it won’t. Setting goals and achieving them (becoming greater than you currently are) requires both optimism and pessimism. Hope and despair. Love and hate. We all have a wide spectrum of psychological tools available to us including being optimistic and pessimistic. But if we suppress either one, then we are bound to make many unnecessary mistakes.

  4. Nice work calling out the direct and uncompromising approach that is overwhelmingly touted as the only way to get women. I think too many guys new to the red pill tend to take this to heart, as I did, and end up being too much of the aloof asshole, which can inhibit success with women. As in all things, social calibration is key, and there is a time for soft approach as well.

  5. Long time lurker, first time commenter (mostly of Yareally’s archive so apologies if I’m doing this wrong)…

    Walk into bar late to grab dinner. Sit at one end of bar alone by myself. As my food is coming two girls come and sit down at empty stools that are one away from me, and are just talking to one another. I’m watching television and watching them out of the corner of my eye. As I’m finishing up the meal I see them taking turns pulling each other’s hair. I try to make eye contact to ask them why they were pulling each other’s hair, but don’t manage to.

    Instead as I finish my dinner, I get up to put on my coat and position myself closer to them. I catch one of their eyes and open the conversation.

    Me: I’m curious why you two were pulling each other’s hair earlier.
    HB1: We’re lesbians we do that to each other
    Me: [Random agree and amplify line that I can’t remember]
    HB1: We’re eskimo lesbians
    Me: That makes sense. The hair pulling gives you the little adrenaline rush you need to keep you warm

    After some banter HB2 smacks HB1 somewhat hard across the face.

    Me: If y’all are lesbians she’s [HB2] definitely the big spoon because you [HB1] took that slap really well…definitely wasn’t your first.

    They instantly warm up. Invite me to join them for a drink and buy one for me. Tell me it took balls to ask them that and also compliment my clothes. They ask me where I live. I tell them that six months out of year i live in [major metropolitan US city] and the other six months I spend traveling.

    I tell them about how I was just in [major international city] during recent terrorist attacks. Tell them story about being super close to the terrorist attacks. This was supposed to be DHV but they start talking about 9/11, and the convo slips into comfort before I really can qualify them. We compare US citizens’ reactions to [people from country I was just in] reactions of terrorist attacks. It was interesting way to build comfort that I’m not really used to. They were moved by the story and started touching me in a “I can’t believe what you’ve been through” type way. I was an emotional rock while describing and they commented on that.

    I mention work and coworkers without mentioning what I do, because I want them to ask. I have a job that is pretty damn interesting and a huge DHV if I can just get a girl to ask me what I do, but they never do.

    HB1 goes to the bathroom and HB2 is clearly from Australia but living in the US now. I ask her about what moving here was like and she tells me how she moved here with virtually no money, no apt, no job, and no friends/family. Qualify her pretty hard during this time. HB1 comes back. HB2 suggests cigarette. They ask if I want to join them. There weren’t really any other sets to open to make them jealous so I agree to go outside and have a cigarette.

    While outside they jokingly bring up that they are strippers. I jokingly ask them where they dance. They tell me that they were just at a fetish club in a different part of the city. We talk about women shooting ping pong balls out of their vagina and other weird shit that goes on in the fetish club. I tell them we should go there tonight. They’re about to text bouncer, but decide there’s no way they get in tonight based on how they’re dressed. Seemed like a legit excuse so I didn’t push it.

    I decide to DHV more about clubbing in Europe and how it’s different from clubbing in US. Leads to some interesting convo about sex clubs in Europe and other weird shit that goes on there.

    We head back in to finish our drinks. Conversation is fairly sexual continuing from the lesbian / hair-pulling / stripper discussion earlier. They sloppily make out with each other. Convo goes back to hair-pulling. I pull on both of the backs of their head in a firm way. They pull on my hair a little bit. HB1 seems super aroused but I froze up a little here. I had been flirting with HB2 more and have never done a three way make out so didn’t know how to initiate. Didn’t want to just make out with one of them with the other sitting 6 inches away. In hindsight, I probably should have been pulling firmly on both of their heads and pushed them gently together while telling them to make out again. C’est la vie.

    After this passes, they start droning on about work. I try to smoothly transition the convo back to other stuff, but can’t. They finish their drinks, I suggest another bar, they say it’s late and they need to get home. We walk in same direction for a while. I ask them what they’re doing for rest of week and number close one of them.

    Before I started typing this, I was a bit confused about where I went wrong and was looking for advice. Now after fully recapping and writing it out, it’s pretty clear that I needed to go for the 3-way makeout when the BT was super high. After that window of opportunity closed, they probably just viewed me as a chode.

    @yareally and everyone else, any comments are welcome.

  6. The mistake proponents of the indirect approach make is the same one Mark Manson made in his book models:

    The faulty premise is on page 24 of that book:
    “The paradox is that if a high status man pursues a woman he makes himself low status and therefore unattractive.”

    The whole book was page after page of trying to work out of this apparent paradox by redefining words like “True Confidence” and “Vulnerability”. Which of course confused everybody and he had to write new articles explaining what he meant.

    It’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the complementarity of the sexes. The masculine pursues and takes action, the feminine allures and is receptive. A man pursuing a woman is no more low status than a woman making herself more alluring with make-up.

    Now, a woman can make herself appear less attractive by poorly applying that make up and a man can make himself appear less attractive by pursuing in a “try hard” manner. However, the converse is also true.

    The follow up that you shouldn’t have to appear more attractive, or that “creating attraction” somehow lowers yourself ignores the fact that you’re in competition. The woman who chooses not to wear make up is at the same disadvantage as the man who chooses not to pursue. Others, who don’t have this illusion of being more “self-actualized”, will have better real life results.

    It’s like Roissy’s discussed in The Unbearable Triteness of Hating:

    13. Fallacy of the Natural Hate

    Hater: Naturals get women because they aren’t trying to get them.

    After many years of practice, I’m sure it looked like Beethoven wasn’t trying when he played piano.
    Or: A natural is simply a man whose game is internalized, but the tactics remain the same.

    Also relevant is your post on dancing monkeys:

    https://therationalmale.com/2015/04/17/dancing-monkeys

    The only reason you wouldn’t approach in a direct manner, state your intent and own it and then pursue to the best of your ability is if you felt this would somehow hinder you (or you had too much anxiety to do so). The opposite is the reality, it will help you. Women desire to be desired.

  7. @Rollo (or anyone else): it is clear you don’t want to be prescriptive with specific advice (and why you don’t), but I still have to ask…
    Beyond the starting advice of lift and read, what other generic actions can someone take to establish their own Frame?

    I mentioned before my difficulty with having an abundance mentality, but being married and not cheating I’m a bit stuck on how to improve this aspect.

    Doesn’t help that I also don’t like going to clubs and bars because of the loud music and weird lighting.

    I’ve been wondering about attending one of the RSD free tour events in Europe but given my specifics above I’m not sure I would at all benefit from it.
    I also share some of the concerns Rollo alludes here about coaches / gurus / PUAs. They are selling you something (even in a free session), regardless of their intentions being good.

    @YaReally, you often post videos of RSD coaches, what do you think?

  8. @IAS,
    Are you keeping the vows you made in a blue pill marriage while your wife dumped all her vows in the trash on the way out of the wedding reception? I ask, because that is what happened to me.

    Vows need to be kept by both parties. If she is breaking hers, why not break yours?

    Even if you never go through with it, you need to inject some serious dread game into your situation. Also give my question above a lot of thought. That alone will help you reestablish frame you probably never had to begin with.

    Remember, frame is mental. I suggest that you still have 0 frame because even your question is…. Shit, it sounds like this:

    Given that my wife totally owns me, besides lifting and reading, how do I get her to like me?

    I’ve been there. Getting your frame right is all mental.

  9. @IAS

    As an afterthought, think about your one sided vows. Give yourself permission to cheat. Now you have to decide if you are actually going to do it, but at least give yourself permission to cheat. You’ve just recaptured a bit of frame.

  10. @ITTO: I don’t think that is an accurate representation of my situation.

    My wife hasn’t cheated, is not misbehaving beyond constantly shit testing me (which some may even argue isn’t misbehaving), and she doesn’t seem to have genuine desire.

    On my side, I’m getting stronger and better at identifying and handling shit tests.

    I think before jumping into the conclusion that there is a serious issue with her, it is wise to increase my SMV and up the dread slowly before taking a more drastic approach. If the marriage gradually improves, great. If not and I conclude I’m not sufficiently happy with the status quo, given that I’m the prize, that will be a different situation.

    It is just that as someone very inexperienced in game (I didn’t flirt with random women even before I was in the LTR), I’m not sure how to go about and improve my game in real life situations, so that I can slowly up the dread as my SMV improves.

  11. There must be a limit to this: consider, I am sure you are all familiar with the fictional character Austin Powers, so I need say little than to observe his ridiculous clothing, absurd language, ugliness, lack of stature and his unshakable view that he is God’s gift to the opposite sex. We laugh at him. The joke is, that in real life, he would have zero success with women.

    The people I know who seem to have women falling over themselves fore them are self-effacing – even shy. How do I do: yesterday I got into conversation with a girl from the office next door who was having a cigarette break in my porch. I was wearing – it being cold – my stylish snow-proof furry hat, which I purchased in Gap. She observed it and commented how cold it was. I replied as I went indoors that perhaps she should wear more clothing. Did she pick up on my subtly escalating cue? I have no idea.

  12. @stingerbell November 25th, 2015 at 3:21 am

    “I tell them about how I was just in [major international city] during recent terrorist attacks. Tell them story about being super close to the terrorist attacks. This was supposed to be DHV but they start talking about 9/11, and the convo slips into comfort before I really can qualify them. We compare US citizens’ reactions to [people from country I was just in] reactions of terrorist attacks. It was interesting way to build comfort that I’m not really used to. They were moved by the story and started touching me in a “I can’t believe what you’ve been through” type way. I was an emotional rock while describing and they commented on that.

    I mention work and coworkers without mentioning what I do, because I want them to ask. I have a job that is pretty damn interesting and a huge DHV if I can just get a girl to ask me what I do, but they never do.”

    Welcome to the comments section Stingerbell. Your comment started out a bit confusing in referring to the lesbians as HB1 and 2 which I’m sure you were referring to their numeric order rather than their hotness on a 1-10 scale. How attractive were they?

    In your descriptions of you trying to qualify to them in a bar, keep in mind that the conversation is to be about them and their emotions, not you and your qualifying stats. Don’t volunteer information about you thinking they will be impressed with your job unless you are an A-list actor or legit rock-star. No matter what comment you offer, the girl will move on to make it about her and her feelings and you have to roll with that.

    Check out Rollo’s essay:

    https://therationalmale.com/2012/02/22/breadcrumbs/

    Conversation

    “Scenarios like this tease interest in women, but remember, mete out your personal information to them like dog treats. The trick is to mine them for information in casual conversation while dropping ‘breadcrumbs’ about yourself in the conversation and this is all too easy to do once you get the knack for it. Keep in mind that women are naturally better with language and non-verbal communication skills than men, so again, use this to your own advantage. Getting a woman to talk about herself has got to be the easiest thing for a man to do since this is what they love most, but listening and picking up on threads in her conversation is the real skill to master. A person who talks about themself is an egoist, a person who talks about others is a gossip, but a person who can get another person to talk about themself is a brilliant conversationalist. The key to conversation is to shape it in such a way that you leave her with an emotional perception of you. It bears repeating that women communicate differently than men, but in doing so they form emotional perceptions with another person (guy or girl) as part of that communication.

    Again, use this to your advantage by making her ‘feel’ you when you talk. I’m sure you’ve all heard that men are more ‘visually oriented’ that women, but women are more attuned to voice, touch and smell than men. All of this equates to an overall emotional perception of you. When you enter her environment (she hears your voice, feels your casual touch, and yes, even sees you) she recalls this emotional perception. Remember that you are creating this from your first encounter. Too many guys think that women work just like guys and figure they can easily alter perceptions based on different conditions, you can’t, or at least it doesn’t happen very easily and by then is rarely worth the effort.

    Breadcrumbs – Rewarding Desired Behavior

    I also think the ‘breadcrumbs’ technique needs a bit of explaining too. Most desperate guys will more than happily tell a girl his life story, how his Mom is, what he wants from life and women and tell a girl he ‘loves’ her all in the first hour of the first date and then go home to wonder why the girl wants nothing to do with him. He sold the farm on the first date and freely gave away his mystery and challenge by believing the common myth that women want a guy to be “upfront” and “honest”, this is false. Women want challenge, not honesty; full disclosure is the kiss of death.

    It’s a lot like sport fishing; if you have a marlin hooked on your line and you immediately yank the rod and reel the line as fast as you can you’ll snap the line, but if you slowly pump the rod and reel the line in gradually (while letting out a bit as needed) and play the fish, you’ll gradually land the big marlin. – breadcrumbs are a way of doing just this. ‘Breadcrumbs’ are little trails for her to follow in your conversation that lead to something about yourself that you want her to find out. If you overtly tell her “I’m studying to be a lawyer/doctor” this bludgeons her with overt information and gives her the emotional impression that you’re ‘trying’ to impress her (i.e. an egoist). But if you offer her a breadcrumb in passing about some case study you’ve just read or how hard the hours of your internship is at the hospital that leads her to a conclusion on her own that she had to make a connection for to understand.

    Women LOVE making these connections because it validates their own perceptive abilities in ways men rarely realize. It gives them a feeling of accomplishment when they make these connections. Even these are pretty blatant examples, but you get the drift, the message you want to send her has to be picked up as a breadcrumb that leads her to what you want her to know. This is covert communication and something she’s naturally adept at. Most guys think women wont ‘get it’ and go over into overt communication and drop the interest or else their breadcrumbs are too obvious and then she picks up on your real intent – which is sometimes worse than just being overt! It takes practice, but the key is to err on the side of being too subtle than too ‘in her face’ with a breadcrumb.”

  13. “There’s a tendency I think for Red Pill aware men to view women’s Hypergamous / Solipsistic natures as hinderances to men effecting their own interests with them.”

    And how dare the universe not revolve around making sure I win.

    “…no idea who Rhonda is.”

    It’s a Secret. The meta-secret is that The Secret is chic crack mystical bullshit straight out of 19th century spiritualism. Woooooo!

    “After many years of practice, I’m sure it looked like Beethoven wasn’t trying when he played piano.”

    When people say to me, “He makes it look easy,” I respond, “That’s because for him it is. If you want to insult me, tell me I’m “talented.”

    I am not talented, I am skilled, because I fucking worked for it.

  14. @IAS

    Become a student of shit testing. Study up and get good at identifying and parrying the shit tests. She is shit testing you because you are not good enough. So get better through masculine self improvement.

    Always, always react unemotionally to shit test, however you can.

    Here are two additional resources:

    http://illimitablemen.com/2014/04/18/she-will-try-to-make-you-weak/

    And instead of me linking, type “shit test reddit” into a Google search engine.

    Also the end of “Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man” by Joseph W. South includes this snippet at the end of the book:

    Warning! women will test you, and test you hard. As we have discussed, females have a biological imperative to select only the best males to have sexual relationships with. Therefore, quite simply, women will test you in order to determine whether you truly possess those Alpha traits or are just a fake, only pretending to be an Alpha Male. A woman becomes consciously aware that she is in the presence of an attractive male, but at the same time her instincts drive her to make certain choices. Therefore, these tests will be both conscious and subconscious from the woman’s perspective.The important thing is to recognize these tests when they come, and to not take them personally in a negative way. The testing is “personal,” in the sense that they are directed at you, but the good news is that it generally means that the woman likes you and has at least some attraction for you. Why? Because if she were not attracted to you, she wouldn’t bother spending any time with you at all!

    Men that are orbiters will generally say that their relationships with these women are generally good and that they cannot understand why she is not attracted sexually when they “do everything for her.” What such a man has missed is that the woman has already tested him and found him lacking as a sexual being. He is now in the role of male girlfriend, or benefactor, and as long as he maintains that role, she has no reason to argue with him or test him as a sexual male. She will, of course, still test him from time to time to ensure that the dinners, drinks and emotional comfort are always available to her.

    Since testing is so closely related to the mechanisms controlling sexual attraction, it is important to remember that testing never ends. Maintaining an appropriate level of attraction within the relationship is important. Some of the ways in which the authors of this book maintain attraction with our mates are:

    • Regular, social interaction with men who are attractive to women. Uncalibrated and unattractive men induce the risk of socially awkward situations and won’t help you to mature into a more attractive man.

    • Clear demonstration of physical leadership in our daily lives. We are each living our lives in a manner congruent with our beliefs, with gusto and without apology.

    • Regular, social interaction with other attractive females. Women are social creatures, and will derive emotional satisfaction from being with a man capable of being with a variety of women.

    Normal, social interactions with attractive women are critical for several reasons. Within the hothouse of a relationship, interactions between men and women can assume bizarre and ultimately unhealthy forms without socially calibrating experiences with normal, healthy women outside the relationship. Direct, personal feedback from women allows us to calibrate our behavior within the relationship. When we are passing tests thrown by women outside the relationship, we have a baseline for our own behavior inside the relationship. For those of you who enjoy jealous women (we do not), this could inspire a certain amount of jealously, which also increases attraction, so calibrate accordingly.

    Men, note well: encourage your woman to maintain normal, regular social interaction with males of her acquaintance. If you are the man of her dreams, her Prince, you have nothing to fear.

    Often employ Law #16 of the 48 Laws of Lower:

    Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor

    Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.

    Watch the movie Blue Valentine and don’t be like the Ryan Gosling characteer.

    It is unlikely that your wife is not on the birth control pill. If she is not track her cycle and initiate in the window before and after ovulation and steer clear or be nice during the menstruation window. That is a big help. If she is on the pill the ovulatory impetus for her to be DTF is considerably blunted.

    Pursue, acquire and spend time with some congruent red pill guy friends (admittedly you’ll have to find a needle in a haystack). And hang out with guys. Also find a mentor who is masculine and learn from him. Having a mentor and learning red pill and implementing game is more fun than going it alone.

    Don’t talk about red pill awareness or game unless it is with a dyed-in-the-wool red pill guy or an obvious mentor. People will question your motives. Always demonstrate, don’t explicate.

    Read, read and then read some more. Read “Antifragile” by Nassim Taleb. Read “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”. “Read The Way of Men” by Jack Donovan. Read “Mindful Attraction Plan” by Athol Kay (this is neutral and not purple pill, all of his other stuff is purple pill). Also “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida.

  15. @ Milton

    Keep aware of your strengths to promote confidence. Be aware of your weaknesses when you are devising a plan to minimize their impact. Keep aware of your plans.

    A positive attitude is important for confidence and success. Otoh, a Pollyanna attitude can be deleterious to success.

  16. @KFG

    “When people say to me, “He makes it look easy,” I respond, “That’s because for him it is. If you want to insult me, tell me I’m “talented.”
    I am not talented, I am skilled, because I fucking worked for it.

    Yeah, I resonate with that feeling too. But you still are better to employ Law #30.

    Law 30

    Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless

    Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease. All the toil and practice that go into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed. When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work – it only raises questions. Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.

  17. “But you still are better to employ Law #30.”

    It is not either/or.

    “Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.”

    I earn some of my living by teaching people everything they know, but not everything I know.

  18. The key is just focus on yourself, set new goals on self and financial improvement, then the women will come to you. Case in point, I have a friend, 49, who lost his right arm at the elbow and right leg above the knee, he has women actively pursuing him all the time….Why? He’s a charismatic motivational speaker, drives an M5 BMW and has a large home right on the water. I’ve seen him give speeches that bring women to tears, then they line up to meet him….He got where he is by deciding not to let anything get in his way, including women and focused on his recovery after the accident that cost him his arm, leg and his marriage.

  19. @ SJF

    She is shit testing you because you are not good enough

    Actually, Heartiste recently ran an article about greater betas and lesser alphas getting hit with the most shit tests.

    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/11/17/which-men-do-girls-shit-test-the-most/

    I distinguish between attraction shit tests and relationship shit tests. Attraction shit tests are about whether a broad wants to have sex, while relationship shit tests are about whether a broad wants to break up with you wants to have sex with you will submit to you. (Wow, I just figured out what they mean!)

    Mrs. Gamer will hit me with three or four shit tests in a row and I’ll recognize them before she has even finished spouting the first and I’ll simply cut her off saying, “Quit it!” with an authoritative tone, then the 2nd follows (“Stop it!”), etc. I’ll hardly even be aware that she’s doing it as I’m doing a task. After the brief testing, Mrs. Gamer will again be submissive and felicitous.

    The Zen of Relationship Maintenance

  20. “Women pick up on behavioral cues, attitude, how things affect you, how you apply yourself to a task, how you deal with adversity and certainly the interplay you engage in with her while playing with her … Much of a woman’s vetting process takes place in her hindbrain.”

    Yep. And most women (and men) don’t understand that their female emotional weather storms are almost always reactions to that subconscious processing.

  21. @Asdgamer

    Nice cite.

    I’m a dyed-in-the-wool greater beta/lesser alpha SKILLFUL STRIVER. My wife is a just over the top 20% border cutie. And the relationship shit tests about whether she wants to break up with me, wants to have sex with me will submit to me flow like the Niagara falls. I don’t wish it were easier, I strive to be better.

  22. Rollo,

    Another excellent piece.

    And while you arent one for giving prescriptive advice, I think there is a both a need and a market for it. If you’re ever in Manhattan for one of your liquor events and have a few minutes, would love to chat over coffee or a drink.

  23. @SJF: thanks, I’m on MRP reddit as well and making my way through their “sidebar” recommendations, I also started tracking her cycle rigorously.

    About the birth control pill, lowered libido is one of the side-effects but stated as very small % of women that get that side-effect. Interestingly, she often blames the pill for her “low libido” but I’m not sure if she really does have a point or if it is just shifting the blame and she will be high libido regardless of the pill when my SMV and dread level is higher.

    In any case, a couple of times a month around the ovulatory peak would not be enough to keep me happy, fortunately it never got that bad for me, and I expect it to get better rather than worse now that I’m swallowing the Red Pill.

  24. Boldness is also a mindset. The same boldness you adopt when you approach a new girl…..is just as easily desperation when you re-initiate contact with an ex…In the first case you’re doing so from a position of strength…in the second you’re doing so from a position of weakness.

    It took me a while to get this concept into my head. I would fool myself into thinking I should approach girls or my ex just because doing so was “bold”.

    If you don’t get IOI’s…even a bold move is self-deluding..

  25. @walawala
    “If you don’t get IOI’s…even a bold move is self-deluding..”

    If you wait for IOI’s you won’t be able to be the chooser. I honestly don’t believe you can completely enter a buyers frame while depending on them.

  26. Interestingly, she often blames the pill for her “low libido” but I’m not sure if she really does have a point or if it is just shifting the blame and she will be high libido regardless of the pill when my SMV and dread level is higher.

    The pill modulates the spikes. It prevents that DTF extra emotional surge from hormones at ovulation . An ovulatory surge is your friend. It is real and it is spectacular. Her stating she has low libido is an excuse. Some women are high libido in general and some are low libido in general. The pill with a low libido woman or one that is showing beta tells is just piling on. (We all tend to feel it’s 90% on her and the other half is on me when we are in that situation.) (……but of course, I am preaching to the choir)

    Observing for Beta Tells in your wife will tell you where you stand in the relationship dynamic. Use it as an index of your masculine self-improvement.

    https://therationalmale.com/2014/11/11/beta-tells/

  27. @ Joker

    The masculine pursues and takes action, the feminine allures and is receptive.

    Both sexes allure and both pursue. Men allure by demonstrating high value and women allure with physical beauty.

    Look at squirrels. Is it only the male who pursues, or do they take turns? The key is that the male dominates when the female shit tests him.

    See my post about Sexual Macrodynamics for more info about sexual roles and mating dynamics.

    https://theasdgamer.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/sexual-macrodynamics/

  28. @ walawala

    If you don’t get IOI’s…even a bold move is self-deluding.

    Obviously, with a cold approach, you don’t necessarily wait for IOIs. From an ex, sure. Shiv test her before moving on her, though, to make sure her IOIs aren’t just a ruse to get your attention.

  29. @SJF

    They were both HB6. You are correct that I was referring to them in their numeric order.

    Regarding breadcrumbs. I think I get the point and am pretty decent at doing it. They’ll ask what I was in [city name] for and I’ll say half work half pleasure, which many women follow up with asking what I do.

    Or I’ll mention that I was at dinner with coworkers (instead of using the word friends) and continue telling some other story but using the word coworkers as crumb for them to ask what I do.

    This usually has two benefits: 1) It’s a huge IOI when they start asking about more specifics and 2) I can continue stacking DHVs without coming across as egotistical because they are asking me questions that I have great, honest answers to

  30. @the ronin

    He got where he is by deciding not to let anything get in his way, including women and focused on his recovery after the accident that cost him his arm, leg and his marriage.

    what, women will bail on you after an accident?

  31. “She want’s you to ‘get it’ on your own, without having to be told how. That initiative and the experience needed to have had developed it makes you a Man worth competing for. Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant.”

    I’m wondering. Is there a version of this that applies to alpha mindset guys.. that they want their women to ‘just get it’ and will lose interest/drop the girl/even cheat if the girl doesn’t change her ways?

    Or is it irrelevant because an alpha mindset guy will demand what he desires and if not complied with – explore his options? Or irrelevant because alpha men typically only allow the most feminine/compatible/complimentary women into their orbit? Or all of the above.

    Explains why feminists are always angry about not being able to attract or keep the men they really desire. They just don’t ‘get’ what men want, that men despise a woman who needs to be told how to behave in a non masculine manner.

  32. I think that red pill is quite optimistic, provided man fully digests it. Blue pill, men think that they have to perform, provide, show off just to be worthy of women. Soul mates, etc. Not an easy way to live.

    Guy that has fully internalized red pill? It robs women of their power. Take yeareally as an example.

    For him women are…game. They are for enjoyment. No heavy stuff. Go fucking out there, socialize, communicate, manipulate….ENJOY.

  33. “Is there a version of this that applies to alpha mindset guys.. that they want their women to ‘just get it’ . . .”

    Next!

  34. @ asd

    Our mating patterns don’t even match primates, never mind squirrels. Trying to shoehorn human mating patterns to fit squirrels isn’t a useful model.

    The masculine pursues *more*, the feminine allures *more*. I assume it’s understood here that a generalization doesn’t imply 100%. And yes, you’re right, the pursuit and attraction does take different forms, that’s a great point. A woman placing herself in proximity and attempting to catch the eye of a man is engaging in a form of pursuit (although arguably that’s a form of being alluring). However, the man walking over and starting a conversation (and leading the interaction, isolating her, taking her home, etc., etc.) is making a much more overt form of pursuit while a woman in a skin tight dress is being far more overtly alluring than a man’s unseen higher status.

    I think the gender flipped comparison is more accurate but the initial point still stands even if we compare pursuit to pursuit: a woman standing close to a man and attempting to catch his eye no more lowers her status than a man boldly making a direct approach.

  35. “This is the root of men’s initial anxiety of having to upkeep their Red Pill “act”; “Red Pill is impossible to float all the time! What? Am I expected to Game my LTR forever?” The answer of course is internalizing Red Pill awareness into one’s personality”

    This used to scare me, thinking that i’d have to become a circus clown for life. But as i took more pride in my changes over time from where i first started, and the more confident and comfortable i became – most of my ‘game’ feels like second nature. I don’t even consciously think about it. I guess that’s the heart of internalization.. once something becomes a core component of who you are, it no longer holds the title of ‘act’. It’s the way you hold yourself up, the way you speak confidently about the things you discuss, the being playful at appropriate moments, not backing down when you’re right and acknowledging when you’re wrong only when you really dang did wrong.

    And it’s at that point when women who say ‘just be yourself’ actually counts.

  36. @Rollo

    As you said, the Red Pill is never “one size fits all”. I came across Game before I learned about the Red Pill. For me, Game wasn’t about trying to pick up hot chicks, but about improving myself, and improving my relationships with women as a result.

    When I first started learning about Game, I wasn’t sure that I could do it, or even sure if I wanted to. But I kept reading, and tried to put some things into practice as they related to the circumstances in my life at that time.

    As I made some progress, I began determining to change some things for the better, and I did so. I made improvements in my mindset, got a divorce, moved to a country where I wanted to live, and changed jobs as well.

    As I learned more about Game, and later the Red Pill, I had to come to terms with how things really are (hypergamy, shit testing, complementary relationship, etc.), versus how I would have liked them to be (true love, egalitarian relationship, etc.). That was the bitter part of the Red Pill.

    But the taste of the Red Pill does not stay bitter. It’s also not a candy-coated pill. It’s not about unbridled optimism founded on nothing solid, or pumping yourself up based on falsehoods. “Fake it ’til you make it” can be helpful, to an extent, as it helps you to develop a new mindset, giving you a new way to perceive and interact with the world.

    Of course, there are circumstances and events outside our control, where no amount of “fake it ’til you make it” will change anything.

    So the Red Pill is not about being falsely optimistic, or about being totally pessimistic either. The Red Pill is ultimately about seeing reality for what it is, and dealing with it in a realistic manner. It is determining to do the best you can with the circumstances that you are in, regardless of what those are, and seeking to improve your lot in life as best you can given those circumstances.

    Thus, it’s a matter of strength of character, and mental agility and toughness, among other things. We can always find ways to improve ourselves and make ourselves into the kind of men we want to be.

    Now, I don’t despair about having to game my long-term relationships. I understand that women are women, and men are men, and that the burden of performance comes with being a man. I’ll continue to play the game and keep improving myself.

  37. @M3,

    I’m wondering. Is there a version of this that applies to alpha mindset guys.. that they want their women to ‘just get it’ and will lose interest/drop the girl/even cheat if the girl doesn’t change her ways?

    Yes, but I think it would be more about an Alpha indifference to a woman’s performance being informed by his capacity to simply attract / arouse more potential women.

    He want’s her to just get it, but if she doesn’t there are 3 other women who do, so the out-selecting is baked into the dynamic. Less thought is likely given to the hope she will get it.

  38. @ M3

    And it’s at that point when women who say ‘just be yourself’ actually counts.

    In a Zen sense, this is always true. The problem is the Blue Pill confusion sometimes prevents us men from knowing who we are.

  39. @ M3

    I’m wondering. Is there a version of this that applies to alpha mindset guys.. that they want their women to ‘just get it’ and will lose interest/drop the girl/even cheat if the girl doesn’t change her ways?

    I’ve been thinking about this lately. Funny you ask. It’s the Shiv Test, which I mentioned in my latest post. It’s related to Compliance Tests, which test for attraction and submission. The Shiv Test tests for submission and femininity, by implication, by means of telling a woman to change her behavior.

  40. Rollo, I’m in the beginning stages of conceptualizing a documentary on the current state and history of gender dynamics. I would like to possibly interview you and talk on this subject. Would you please contact me via email?

  41. @Asdgamer

    I just wrote a post about Submission Shit Tests inspired by your comment. One of my best, I think.

    https://theasdgamer.wordpress.com/2015/11/25/submission-shit-tests/

    Nice. Sorry about my intermediate-level musery. You could use a lot more paragraphs in that blog post. Curious, the woman commenter asking about what a shit test, one of those things lay people have trouble defining but know it when they see it.

    When I read Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man over ten years ago I was in denial and anger over the cold, hard reality of my wife’s shit testing. And so I buried the concept and forgot about the idea and the concepts of shit testing for over a decade. I got to the Kubler-Ross acceptance phase of it two years ago and started to work on it.

    In the last three years, with the help of a mentor I started the process of mastery over shit tests. I’m still in the conscious-competence phase of mastery over shit tests (competent, but takes a lot of conscious effort). And still in the creative-active level of mastery of shit tests (1. apprenticeship, 2.the creative-active level set apart by practice, and 3. mastery). Need to get better at the mastery level to riposte with levity and humor. It will come around. Everything else is in regards to married man game has come around.

    At the risk of boring the audience–esp. those not into LTR’s–, (and cutting and pasting copy-righted material), here is the chapter in Deida’s book that made me emotionally puke so many years ago (because it was hard, I couldn’t master it, and I wished it were easier). This fleshes shit testing out better in richer detail if you excuse the woowoo shiva mysticism shit:

    Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier

    “A woman often seems to test her man’s capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable. Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, dis- tracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never think his woman’s testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness. Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.

    Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration. The same is true about every moment with your woman, only doubly so. Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you, and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge.

    The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine: imperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all-pervading. She cannot move you, because you already are what you are, with or without her. She cannot scare you away, because you already penetrate her in fearless love, pervading her heart and body. She cannot distract you, because your one-pointed commitment to truth will not bend to her wiles. Feeling this hugeness of love and freedom in you, she can trust you, utterly, and surrender her testing in celebration of love.

    Until she wants to feel you as Shiva again. And then the testing will begin anew. In fact, it is precisely when you are most Shiva-like that she will most test you.

    Perhaps you have been working toward some financial goal, and finally you have succeeded. After months or years of effort, you have creatively earned a large amount of money. You feel happy, full, successful. You feel great. You come home to your woman and want to share the news with her.

    “I just made a million dollars today”

    “That’s nice.”

    “That’s nice!!?? You know how hard I’ve been working for this.”

    “I know. It feels like I haven’t seen you in months. Did you remember to pick up the milk on the way home?”

    “Oh, sorry. I forgot. But who cares? We could buy a dairy farm now!”

    “I asked you to pick up the milk three times this morning, and I put a note on your briefcase. How could you forget?” “I said I’m sorry. Look, I’ll go get the damn milk….”

    Why is she being this way? Because she simply wants to deflate your success? No. She is challenging you because your success doesn’t mean shit to her, unless you are free and loving. And if you are free and loving, nothing she says can collapse you. She wants to feel you are un-collapsible, so she pokes you in your weak spot.

    Of course she knows how much this moment of success means to you. This is precisely why she is negating it. Not because she wants to hurt you. But because she wants to feel Shiva. She wants to feel your strength. She wants to feel that your happiness is not dependent on her response, nor on you making a million dollars. She wants to feel you are a superior man.

    It’s a tall order to be this free, and in your more mediocre moments you will wish your woman would settle for less. But if you are a man who is living his fullest, willing to play his edge and grow through difficulties, then you will want her to test you. You may not like it. But you don’t want her to settle for some bozo that depends on his woman’s response to be happy. If you are aligned with your mission, you are essentially happy, even though times cycle between difficult and easy. You don’t need your woman’s strokes to fulfill your mission. It still feels good when she strokes you, but you don’t need mommy anymore, telling you what a good boy you are. And your woman doesn’t want you to need mommy. In fact, it sickens her.

    If your woman is weak, she may settle for a weak man, and therefore play into your need to feel like a good boy. But if she is a good woman, a strong woman, she won’t tolerate your childish needs for a pat on the head, collecting bigger toys, and being king of the mountain. A good woman will love the childlike part of you, but she wants your life to be guided by your deepest truths, not your untended childhood wounds. She wants to feel that at your core you have grown beyond the need for kudos and million-dollar toys. She wants to feel your self-generated strength of truth.

    So she will test you. She might not be fully conscious of why she is doing it, but she will poke your weak spots, especially in moments of your superficial success, in order to feel your strength. If you collapse, you’ve flunked the test. You have let your woman deflate you. You have demonstrated your dependence on her for external validation. Even if you just made a million dollars, you are a weak man. Your woman cannot trust you fully.

    If you remain full and strong, humorous and happy, your truth unperturbed by her testing, then you pass the test.

    “Honey, I’ll get you some milk, all right,” you say as you sweep her off the ground and lay her on the couch, laughing, kissing, looking deeply into her eyes, and “milking” her happiness with the confident loving of your caresses.

    She can relax and trust your Shiva core. She can surrender the tensions around her heart. You are trustable. You don’t need her validation in order for you to be loving. You simply are loving. The truth of you is love. Your fullness is independent of mommy. You are not only a man, you are a superior man: a man who does his best to live as love in the world and in his intimacy, a man whose heart remains open and whose truth remains strong even when his woman criticizes him, a man who can find the humor in forgetting to pick up the milk on a day he made a million dollars.

    This is the kind of man your woman can trust. Now, the moment is a moment of celebration. Now, she can relax and truly join in your jubilation, knowing you are not dependent on her praise for your happiness. It will last, perhaps, ten minutes. And then she will test you again.

    It never ends. A woman will always test her man for the pleasure of feeling his strength in loving, his capacity to transcend nuisance, his persistence in his own truth, and his capacity to share that truth in love with her, even when she is complaining—especially when she is complaining. Her complaint is the beginning of her pleasure. It is not true criticism, but a test of your Shiva-hood. The criticism is entirely dissolved in love as soon as she feels your humor and happiness in the midst of the poke.

    It never ends. This is the secret. You can’t get out of it. Finding a different woman won’t get you out of it. Therapy won’t get you out of it. Financial or sexual mastery won’t get you out of it. Your woman is testing you because she loves you. She wants to feel your truth. She wants to feel your love. And she wants to feel that your truth and love are stronger than the barbs she can throw at you. Then she can relax and surrender into the polarity of man and woman. Then she can trust you.

    The most loving women are the women who will test you the most. She wants you to be your fullest, most magnificent self.

    She won’t settle for anything less. She knows it is true of you. She knows in your deepest heart you are free, you are Shiva. Anything less than that she will torment. And, as you know, she’s quite good at it.

    Yet, if your purpose is to be free, you wouldn’t have it any other way. ”

    Sound hard, right? It is. But it’s a legit way to align your mindset. And the love and truth woo-woo shit is actually also legit when you are with a good woman. It can be worth it. Your mileage may vary.

  42. The Red Pill triggers an emotional response which can be defined by the 5 stages proposed by the Kubler-Ross model:

    1 – Denial
    2 – Anger
    3 – Bargaining
    4 – Depression
    5 – Acceptance

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model

    We, former or actual beta males, grew up defining our identities based on a lie, in an idealistic notion of love and women that gave us purpose. That idea has been exposed here many times and I can’t agree more. Then for some reason we all took the RP and our world fell apart, we didn’t have any purpose in life anymore. Some tried to join the PUA army out there, but it is a lifestyle that leaves you empty after a while. So in the end all of we had to rebuild ourselves from scratch and that still takes time. We men are not that different from each other, we are just in different stages of this grief process.

    In my opinion mysoginy would be phase 2, MGTOW phase 4, the Purple Pill phase 3, Blue Pill phase 1…And phase 5 The Rational Male, of course. Or maybe PP is phase 1, I’m not sure.

    Anyway, I think we should be very cautious to dismiss any opinion inside the RP sphere and try to be patient and encourage those men to adapt into the next stage so they finally can join our ranks.

    So, if Purple Pill men natural evolution would be moving into the depression stage, the ugly truth about women must be told to them. But it is a tricky situation, because the objective would be to make them accept the loss, not to start hating women again (that would be regressing into the anger stage). So here is the problem.

    One thing I noticed when I browse through different blogs and forums in the manosphere is that they are written from different perspectives depending on which stage of grief is the writer himself. That can be counterproductive to those readers who are trying to include those new concepts into their reality and grow in the RP wisdom.

    Many of them end up unable to evolve, getting stucked in some RP forum where the underlying message is “all women are sluts and bitches”. And even if it is true, nobody says what it is needed to be said: “well, they are, but who cares?”. Others advance to the next level, but unable to find another place with a similar mindset than them, reject the manosphere and the red pill ideas as a whole.

    I can’t see a clear solution to this, but maybe being more patient and spreading this model idea out there would help some people to know what they are going trough.

  43. OT: Ive just found my favorite form of passive dread for an LTR…keeping a half empty large box of condoms in a bathroom cabinet from before the relationship. Ive never seen a hamster redline so hard

  44. For what it’s worth, I think that hormones and nutrition play a strong role including learned “addictions” to stress hormones or insulin, depending on the complex feedback loops and interactions in each individual body. At the same time, mind-over-matter and self-hypnosis can and does affect biological functioning. Biofeedback is one way of demonstrating that mastery over oneself is possible. A man who is a master of himself is irresistible to women even if he finds that he no longer needs their approval so much.

  45. Xabi-

    I’m sure the 5-stage grieving model applies to many guys’ acceptance of the Red Pill- but it certainly didn’t go down that way for me.

    In my case, there wasn’t even a need for an accpetance stage let alone the earlier ones. As soon as I read the earliest expositions of the Red Pill it was much more like an enlightenment experience that resistance or grieving of any kind.

    My basic reaction was: “Fuck yeah!!! I’ve been lied to all these years, and now I *get* it … ”

    And I started applying the principals of the Red Pill immediately in all areas of my life.

    But I’m an ingrained Alpha, who needed information rather than convincing.

    Your 5-stage model may apply to beta males who find their emotional world being turned upside down by the Red Pill.

  46. I’ve never bought what some are selling…
    I can tell you for a fact, as can other men, that women are drawn to certain men, aka ‘if you build it they will come’. Most men in modern-read ‘comfortable’ societies havent experienced the smelter. The smelter is often not of your choosing but often resembles the following: having to fight so as to be left alone, not having lunch money as a kid, going toe to toe against adults when you’re as young as 15, being so calm and confident in your interactions with authority that they treat you with respect, even awe. Don’t believe me? Watch closely. You’ll see men like this and women come to them.

    The russians say steel is strong because it has known fire. When I was 17 I had to leave hockey voluntarily or face a life time ban. I joined the army after hockey. I never set out to be a tough guy but circumstances made me one and I never made a conscious choice. Combine that with nearly dying 4 times. I’ve been stalked by several women.
    Go back in time and watch steve macqueen. Total alpha.
    I don’t denigrate anyones choices, unless completely retarded, but getting women has never been a problem. The problem is the incredible low caliber of women and the near complete and total selfishness of the average broad. I used to think it was me but over the last few years I realized its the west. Western societies are totally fucked. Full stop, no elaboration. I wont go into root causes.
    Just bear in mind that different approachs work for different types. What matters is getting what you want. Don’t take crap, face your fears and be respected. It’s not necessary to have a near death experience: jumping out of an airplane is a good simulation.
    Peace n pussy

  47. “There is nothing “unmanly” about having a curiosity for how the female mind works and then using that understanding to your advantage.”
    Good advice. It’s too bad you guys mostly draw the wrong conclusions, but A+ for trying.

    B’yeah, good article Rollo.
    “Women pick up on behavioral cues, attitude, how things affect you, how you apply yourself to a task, how you deal with adversity and certainly the interplay you engage in with her while playing with her”
    That’s true, at least.

  48. I was in the first 4 stages until i started digesting Rollo’s blog. While it was fun reading Roosh and Heartiste, they didn’t connect the psychological dots like Rollo did. A credit to his form of writing. But even reading Rollo’s stuff i was getting angry, the blue pill still withdrawing from my system like a bad cocaine habit. Everything Rollo wrote made sense, but the anger welled up inside me, the feeling of injustice, the feeling of dealing with a rigged system, the understanding that i lost so much time playing by the ruleset in the ‘old set of books’. Lots of anger at the start of my blogging.

    Then one day I hit the fifth stage when Yohami gave me a good swift kick in the ass. I blogged an MRA style post about a car accident where a hysterical woman was yelling at passerby men to rescue the occupant of a burning vehicle and i was saying ‘could you imagine if a man were yelling at women to risk their bodies’

    I think Yohami’s response was ‘What were you expecting? Nature doesn’t operate like that. True equality is bullshit’

    Acceptance. That was the day i accepted reality and didn’t try to fight it. Life has been much easier since then.

    Shame too many try to live denying or bending nature. No wonder they’re so unhappy.

  49. @ Xabi

    All curt replies aside, a very important tool for one’s understanding while having the bitter taste of the red pill and trying to swallow. Without getting through to Acceptance, a guy can certainly be spinning his wheels. It’s not a solution, it’s a start.

    Rollo’s and my curt replies were only because he described it (and attributed it to someone else) and it has been discussed in comments frequently or infrequently. I find it a crucial stumbling block to overcome for guys. It was not meant to cut you short. Well worth discussing.

  50. @SJF, that book changed my life and my marriage! (for the better). David Deida helped me understand that being feminine ≠ being a terrible person and helped my husband understand that trying to use reason and logic to get me to behave the way he wanted me to would only cause both of our heads to eventually explode.

  51. “Good advice. It’s too bad you guys mostly draw the wrong conclusions, but A+ for trying.”

    Young, dear Emily, what would be the right conclusions? Tell us. It would be good to practice your philosophical expository skills to write out a couple paragraphs or three here. (Instead of short quick retorts which are somewhat worthless in the discussion. You can do better). What faults do you find in some of the conclusions you are seeing?

    Have you been following along with the discussions this past month?

  52. “Go back in time and watch steve macqueen. Total alpha.”

    Robert Mitchum was another:

    Cavett: What is the secret of a 30 year marriage?
    Mitchum: Deviousness, I should think.

  53. @LeeLee,

    Did you guys discuss it? Or did he just demonstrate and not hash it out?
    Did he have any stumbling blocks to Kubler-Ross Acceptance of the ideas in the book? Which one of you read it first?

    It does become a burden if the husband or LTR partner, lost frame and purpose, for a while, beforehand. Simply because once he loses dominance and frame, the woman doesn’t trust him to ever be back in the saddle.

    Illimitable Man MAXIM #24: “If a woman is with a submissive man trying to become dominant, she will utterly oppose him. She has accepted he is submissive and so she revels in the power her control gives her. If he becomes dominant, she loses the power and resources her monopoly granted her. And she will never forget his old ways. She will never really believe he is a worthy leader.”

    I couldn’t handle it during that “lost” phase which wasn’t so much blue pill. I simply didn’t get the “it” that I should have. The book is pretty much prototypical for a lot of Red Pill stuff and manosphere awareness. It makes all the sense in the world to me now and I can get it.

    Thankfully, I’m sure, you were a woman that “just got it” about your husband and his value. And if she doesn’t just get it, it is difficult for a man to demonstrate, not explicate–seeing as how her infallible powers of sub-communication will not “just get” the new him because of her ego-investments. Sounds like he didn’t lose frame from the beginning and you came around to him.

  54. Either a man knows himself and accepts what he knows or he doesn’t.

    Any man who follows someone else’s prescription of what he should think of himself or concerns himself with all this “if this, then that-maybe oh by the way-also but then” bullshit analysis of himself and who he is in the eyes of the world has no hope of respecting himself as long as he follows such sells or concerns himself with such doubts.

  55. Attitude sells, sure, but a good fantasy is better. If you think about interactions as narratives, and that, ontologically, we occur to ourselves as a narrative about ourselves and the world, it becomes clear how crucial framing a narrative is. It defines reality itself.

    A man “with attitude” could mean many different things. Oftentimes it’s an insecure man who feels inferior and overreacts. Other times it’s someone who is really enthusiastic, other times it’s someone who’s smart and good with words. Sometimes the person is interesting and has other good characteristics, but if one is projecting a narrative and driving the conversation they are projecting a lot of power. Women sort this out quickly and aren’t long fooled by the insecure loser filled with bluster. Signalling can be mimicked, but women aren’t operating off of any one signal, rather they are comparing notes and confirming and retesting given the slightest chance to think too hard. So, having only “attitude” is insufficient to signal high value for long.

    Seduction is about framing a narrative which excites the female fantasy hamster – try to frame a conversation and narrative without “attitude”, I dare you. You will have to project yourself and your reality onto the dialog and the woman has to be willing to jump onboard and come for the ride.

    I’ve been experimenting with a young hottie, the HB9 I told you guys about. She’s fallen for me and loves to listen to me talk and to read what I write. She calls it “alluring”. Of course, this won’t work with every woman, but it’s like catnip for a certain kind of young woman. This woman, K., is particularly hot so it’s quite delicious. First time sex wasn’t great {good but not that crazy animal sex that I like) but that happens sometimes. It’s funny, she was so hot that I think I was a bit overwhelmed just by having this smoking hot 27 yr old with natural Ds and a 23 inch waist naked in front of me, I was a little flummoxed. I recovered but she also has some complexity. I never freak when sex is off, it happens with all women sometimes. This one is worth developing and I bet next time will be a sick fuck session. Or not…

    But my game with her is all about being interesting and intriguing. I don’t try, but what I do is kind of unleash. Women like when a man spins a yarn for them. It’s a little like “Dance monkey, dance” sometimes, but I enjoy it. I like the push and pull, the dance of it if you will. I like entertaining – i’m a singer/songwriter, and I realized long ago I’m doing it for the audience. It doesn’t have to be degrading. And think about it, without people creating and acting on different narratives, nothing would happen in the world. It’s the stuff of life itself so one should not refrain from this.

    One of the archetypes I find very tiresome in our popular culture is that of the “strong, silent type”. In movies today, this guy has been turned into a caricature, and comes off as mentally retarded. These men magically navigate the world without any real direction or effort but in the real world? The doers that I know? They talk, they project themselves, they are big thinkers. They aren’t silently observing, no, they are shaping the social scene around them.

    I actually love playing with women’s inner worlds and also projecting mine, it’s a deliciously intimate thing to do. I think some PUAs talk about this and I think to be really good with women you need to enjoy it, I know I do. Whether they fuck me or not.

  56. @SJF
    Sure, later. Have a class.

    @LeeLee
    Another book you may want to check out: Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla (Pope JPII). There is divinely inspired wisdom in those pages 🙂

  57. @Emily – So when we last spoke, I think we had established that you weren’t a cunt. How’s that going? Are you still just annoying, shallow, pseudo-intellectual and glib? Or have you graduated to full cuntery yet? Let’s see, shall we?

    Your comment. Please elucidate further for us mere troglodytes. What specifically were you referring to when you wrote “It’s too bad you guys mostly draw the wrong conclusions,” Please, share with us your incredible and searing insights, we are all just absolutely gagging for it. We need your enlightenment, Oh Gifted One, please share you brilliance with us.

    If you do so, I will show some more of my throbbing, aching, glistening intellect, in the form of clever rejoinders. I think you are aching to be filled up with something, am I right?

  58. @NBTM

    Was that a simple non sequitur or were you referring to some premise in particular? (In a non sequitur, the conclusion could be either true or false, but the argument is fallacious because there is a disconnection between the premise and the conclusion.)

  59. Tom wrote:
    “In my case, there wasn’t even a need for an accpetance stage let alone the earlier ones. As soon as I read the earliest expositions of the Red Pill it was much more like an enlightenment experience that resistance or grieving of any kind.”

    Massive enlightenment!

    But then actually living it and applying it can be VERY challenging. It’s working for me, especially once I learned to be more subtle. Thanksgiving indeed.

    One can gulp the firehose of truth but one must be very careful in being too brash or enthusiastic with others. Learned the hard way on that. My kids are still more frustrated with me than I with them, but my Frame is soooooooo much better and self-respect builds daily that it makes the shit tests and challenges a little bit, (not a lot,)easier to deal with. Rollo’s early writing has been so helpful. Hard to keep up in the current threads with so many old post and books to read.

    Props to SJF, Blax, Tex, Rugby and others for encouragement, references and links.

  60. Over at CH someone had insight re Trump: Boldness + Smarts = Conventional apprehension. Or something like that. Now consider the state of the culture and how sick it is. We have president Butt Naked (that’s the leader of the free world) saying to business owners that you didn’t build that. Okay, maybe he was taken out of context referring to dot gov assistance. No question today that banking and gov are inextricably linked or any industry for that matter. Free market my ass, not since late 1800s. But anyway, at every step of the turn, we live in a society that is unsure. The left and their dead-end nihilistic cultural relativism, blue-hairs, academia halls on the left side of campus and their BS, limp-wristed politico’s, ass kissing political correctness, masculinity marginalization, and so on and so on. The list could go on forever…yet, what is admired actually is definiteness and elevatedness as expressed in one’s life, through the values he’s chosen and actions taken. Do you want a leader that leads you down a blind alley, or are you going to follow one who throws heat…95 MP right down the dick and stuns the batter to silence. The achievement of an integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect is nothing less than heroic. It is far removed from arrogance in any sense of that word. The man who projects it is a man to follow and so too will the women.

  61. Women are like dogs, constantly reading body language: show leadership, they follow, show fear, they bite. One of the best TV shows for men is The Dog Whisperer.

  62. @M3

    “I’m wondering. Is there a version of this that applies to alpha mindset guys.. that they want their women to ‘just get it’ and will lose interest/drop the girl/even cheat if the girl doesn’t change her ways?

    Or is it irrelevant because an alpha mindset guy will demand what he desires and if not complied with – explore his options? Or irrelevant because alpha men typically only allow the most feminine/compatible/complimentary women into their orbit? Or all of the above.

    Looks like men here are starting to think about this (this ‘shiv test’ idea is a new one on me). But it’s becoming part of my ordinary experience as well.

    I’m frequently bouncing little tests off of the woman around me to check for femininity. I test for sweetness and submissiveness and their ability to ‘just get’ that.

    Basically, I give them bitch bait and see if they run with it. All to often, they do. Total turn-off. It gives me some degree of sympathy for today’s women, awash in a sea of betas lol.

    The difference lies in that there’s a bit less of a catch-22 in it from a masculine perspective. A woman can’t ever TELL a guy to be dominant or step up, because if he does he’s basically obeying her by being dominant. It just doesn’t work. But you can tell a woman to be a certain way, and have her come around to being that way, without it feeling forced or faked. Putting herself under your direction is (part of) the goal, after all. The only stipulation is that the process of submission is genuine rather than forced/negotiated.

  63. @Forge – BitchTests, brilliant. I do exactly the same thing. I prod and tease and shame and remonstrate, but playfully. It’s the light touch that does it, and not being really invested in it. Some women just like to submit and your role is to let them. To be a comfortable space for them to curl up in.

    It also reflects a change in mind set. I’m smarter about all this now, I can tell what a woman is motivated by. I recently smoked out a gold digger, as I shared here, on date 1. They get away with nothing with me now, and if they don’t submit and play nice, I move on.

    It is interesting who chooses to submit and who doesn’t…

  64. @SJF, I read it first. It was recommended to me as something that would help me in my quest to understand masculinity and femininity more deeply.

    When I read it, I was like !!!! I’m not crazy, bad, or beyond hope. I’m a GIRL !!!! I had never felt so understood. I gave it to my husband, he read the whole thing in like one or two nights, and I think for him it was a similar sense of relief like finally someone was explaining our relationship in a way that was real and made sense.

    He didn’t seem to experience any grief or anger. In talking about it it was just like asking each other, “is this really true?” back and forth like light bulbs coming on left and right. I think he was happy to be free from thinking that he needed to sit me down on the couch for an hour while I was in “a mood” trying to navigate me back through investigatory questioning and reasoning with me that this isn’t how I should be behaving.

    It’s hard for me to explain where we were before in terms of “frame”, because I think what happened to us is that for a while my emotions were dominating both of us — I was sensing that he didn’t know how to ground me while I was in an emotional storm so I was compelled by this intense subconscious force to keep testing him in that area, and that was derailing everything including him.

    On top of that I just plain wasn’t aware of myself and my vulnerabilities as a woman when it comes to emotions so I was really at the mercy of them period.

    I always loved him and recognized him as the direct authority figure over me so I don’t think it was ever my frame, if anything while I was struggling we both recognized my incompetence to lead even more, it’s just that for a while I was alone in trying to figure out how to make my emotions conform to what my head and heart knew. The book fixed that by empowering him and elucidating me.

  65. @Stingerbell

    That’s a good field report overall. And yeah, we usually use the numbers to rate rather than count 😉

    Your own assessment of the circumstance seems pretty good. You failed to escalate/sexualize the circumstance so you got put in the chode category lol. Don’t worry, still happens to me all the time.

    Past that sounds like you’ve got some solid convo dynamics going. Props on going for a girl-couple, a lot of guys would have used that as an excuse ‘they probably don’t even like boys’ sorta thing to not approach. That said, ya likely should try to screen for some potential interest somehow; you said one of the girls looked pretty turned on at some point, did it seem to be directed at you?

  66. @LeeLee – Great comment, wow. Keeping it to your experience and not being falsely humble, but still not “telling us what’s what”, very rare for a woman here. I went to your blog and it was more of the same. Impressive.

    I think a lot of women feel similarly disoriented in this “modern” world of the Strong Independent Woman. Reading Deida and seeing you weren’t crazy, it’s interesting to hear how disoriented a woman can be made by this whacked out society.

    Why the hell are we letting this happen to the world? Who is it working for? Old battle axe feminists? Young ones? Ask yourself, how many radfems/social justice warrior types do you know who are even happy?

  67. @ LeeLee

    Got it.

    ScribblerG’s on point.

    You let your husband be the oak tree in the emotional storm of your femininity. And he took up the challenge and accepted it (as explained by Deida).

    Can’t remember Rollo’s reference to Roissy’s Ninth Commandment recently (or in the distant past):

    IX. Connect with her emotions

    Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendezvous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

  68. @ bob

    The smelter is often not of your choosing but often resembles the following: having to fight so as to be left alone, not having lunch money as a kid, going toe to toe against adults when you’re as young as 15, being so calm and confident in your interactions with authority that they treat you with respect, even awe.

    The capacity for violence and incredible inner strength. Charles Bronson was like this. Lee van Cleef, too.

    I went through some of this. I was a military brat and had to fight every time we moved. Eventually I lived in a blue collar neighborhood and had to fight quite a bit. I was small and weak but very smart and was bullied and had to figure out how to overcome, which I did through tactics.

    Once I worked with a pal to stone a bully; when he chased one of us, the other would pelt him with pebbles.

    Another time I told my mother that if she sent me to school I was gonna drop a brick on the head of two kids who were bullying me. Dead serious.

    The problem is the incredible low caliber of women and the near complete and total selfishness of the average broad.

    I think that Hypergamy/sin has always been there and that the Blue Pill ™ has given us a false view of women as the Madonna. However, I also think that cultural pathologies have screwed up women more than they would be if those cultural pathologies hadn’t been active. Entitled Princesses and Cock Carousel Riders.

  69. @SJF – I was thinking about that quote from Roissy when I wrote my comment above, but couldn’t remember where it was from. There is a natural give and take and play that women just slip into when a man does this the right way. It’s very natural and easy to do when your frame of mind is right.

  70. Why the hell are we letting this happen to the world? Who is it working for? Old battle axe feminists? Young ones? Ask yourself, how many radfems/social justice warrior types do you know who are even happy?

    Apparently, the happiness of women has declined these past few decades. The function appears to mirror that of an addict: I enjoyed this surge of power, I do not realize or do not accept the damage it does to me, I get power again but it doesn’t make me happy, I must have more power, on and on the cycle goes.

    Men are apparently happier than ever. There are a few major losers but on the whole most men don’t give a crap. Ubiquitous internet porn and high definition gaming have solved the male scarcity conundrum.

    As someone said on an economics forum, do you remember Revenge of the Nerds? All that effort just to get some naked pics of a college girl?

    The Nerds invented technology where women just upload naked pictures of themselves. Willingly. They love it.

    The Nerds are done, they can go home, Fermat’s Last Theorem doesn’t matter, we don’t need nuclear fusion, going to Mars is pointless, Moore’s Law can end, whatever.

  71. Attitude definitely sells:

    Other guys are better looking, bigger, taller, more jacked, whiter, richer, with nicer suits (especially when he started out VS now that he’s loaded) etc than this guy…so why do girls buy him $50,000 watches?

    What is he offering that those other guys aren’t? It’s clearly not external.

  72. Never been in a real fight in my life. Most of the guys who talk about what hardened badasses they are (and hate me and tell me how much they’d kick my ass when I assholishly dismiss that stuff like I’m doing in this comment lol and then tell me about how they totally growled at this one girl (inevitably a 6 who approached them) after their last mountain climbing expedition and she spread her pussy on the bar for them) choke when you put their personal 9-10 in a bar in front of them staring them down with a cute little girly smile.

    You get better at picking up girls by going out and picking up girls. Everything else is just looking for loopholes and beating around the bush hoping to get the same results without having to put your ego on the line (most guys would rather spend hours locked away in an office or gym working their asses off hoping that that gets girls to approach them, rather than just walk up to a hot girl as they are right now as they read this very comment, and say hi to her and expect her to be attracted to them as they are).

    We feed guys delusional optimism because the average guy in a bar looks like this:

    http://s245.photobucket.com/user/asami42421/media/DSC02303.jpg.html

    These guys don’t need to be “realistic and skeptical”. They look like scared children standing in the middle of a courtroom full of adults and they wear all their depressing negative mindsets on their face. These guys NEED to be delusionally optimistic just to get STARTED approaching hot girls, let alone taking over a room and enjoying being the center of attention.

    We know what we teach works, but it won’t work if you don’t buy into it and expect it to work because you will always end up being half a gangster out there, doing stuff hesitating and worrying. You can go up and be a complete retard if you want and it’ll work, as long as you do it congruently…the second you hesitate is the second you show that you don’t fully believe you can get away with what you’re doing and it’s the second she feels the same way and shit falls apart.

    See the end of this video where Tyler and Julien dump bottles of hair gel on their head and go hit on girls because AskMen wanted them to dumb down their message for the masses and tell guys how hair gel will help them get women (they burned a multi-million dollar contract with this apparently lol):

    Really that whole video is solid internal content about how guys look at people who are successful and look for excuses for why they can’t be as successful and try to copy them and shit and ignore all logic and evidence in front of them to cling to their socially conditioned beliefs.

    The first step is just getting guys out the fucking door because we know that if they fully buy-in they’ll start the snowball momentum rolling.

    Down the road they can look at their results, just like any other area (gym, business, etc) and say “Am I getting the results I want? No? Then what can I do differently” and take a more realistic look at what they’re doing.

    That’s also why we push guys to write Field Reports. Infield you go fully delusionally optimistic. Afterwards, when you’re doing your Field Reports breaking down the night and analyzing shit, that’s when you be realistic and actually think about “you know this thing that one guy told me to try isn’t really working, maybe I’ll switch it up” and shit.

    Kobe doesn’t need to be on the court thinking “well, REALISTICALLY that other guy has 2″ of height on me so my % chance of making this basket really isn’t THAT good, I mean, if we’re being realistic and healthily skeptical here I probably WON’T make this shot”. He can do that in the changeroom after the game or when he’s watching replays to tighten his shit up, especially if he loses a bunch of games in a row. But on the court he should be delusional as fuck about how great he is, just like how Tyson won half his fights before the fight even started. People, especially women, pick up on your subcommunications. Women have had to become skilled at that shit since they were pre-teens. If you don’t believe you’re the shit, why would she? She’s pinging off you and her environment for how to feel.

    “It’s important to bear in mind that any mindset you learn is only as legitimate as the realities that inform it.”

    Not entirely sure this means what I think it means but if it means “you have to have success to feel successful” then I disagree. That’s guys’ biggest problem, not feeling “justified” in feeling confident or sexworthy etc. “I can’t feel entitled to that girl because I don’t have a job and I live with my parents and I don’t have a 6-pack”. That belief is nonsense lol

  73. “Can’t remember Rollo’s reference to Roissy’s Ninth Commandment recently (or in the distant past)”

    “I was thinking about that quote from Roissy when I wrote my comment above, but couldn’t remember where it was from.”

    It was from Chateau Heartiste, Roissy’s 16 Commandments of Poon.

    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

    What I was trying to and now recall was Rollo citing Commandments II, V, and VII in the essay Relationship Game. That essay lends credence to my assertion that single man, married man, STR, intermediate term, and LTR Game principles are fungible (otherwise known as “why YaReally really matters”).

    Rollo applied these several of Roissy’s Commandments to LTR and married man game.

    https://therationalmale.com/2012/03/09/relationship-game-a-primer/

    Rollo: “I had a request from a comment thread to breakdown the function of Game within the confines of a marriage or LTR so at the risk of coming off as Athol on Married Man Sex I thought I’d elaborate a bit on maintaining a Game mindset into an LTR today……..

    ………I add this at the end of this primer to address the criticism that will inevitably follow; “So, a wife should just be your doting slave then Rollo?” No, and neither should a man be his wife’s self-convinced slave. If you get anything from my blog it should be this – I am always focused on the Desire Dynamic. A slave might behave in ways that please you, but you cannot negotiate genuine desire, nor can you extort genuine desire. Freewill is an interesting topic, especially in terms of intergender relations, but understanding the dynamics that promote genuine, unobligated desire is paramount to a good relationship.”

  74. @ YaReally

    After a half bottle of Port…older broads are harder to game…this is well-recognized in the manosphere…practice on older broads…younger broads are easier to game and you will get much success with younger broads after practicing on older broads…older broads will game you…be prepared to practice defense…they will try to get their claws into your emotions…fucking old witches…what can you do but laugh at yourself?

  75. @YaReally,

    “It’s important to bear in mind that any mindset you learn is only as legitimate as the realities that inform it.”

    That statement was more meant that if you get hyped up by PUA stuff that YaReally talks about and yet you haven’t put in the time to have mastery of PUA or an an unskilled artist at it, then you have to be realistic about your prospects. If you haven’t put in the time, learned the craft, approached lots of women or actually been with a lot of women then you are just winging it and your mileage may vary.

    Just cautionary about irrational exuberance and irrational self confidence. Confidence doesn’t need to, but might have limitations.

  76. @ YaReally

    I assholishly dismiss that stuff like I’m doing in this comment lol and then tell me about how they totally growled at this one girl (inevitably a 6 who approached them) after their last mountain climbing expedition and she spread her pussy on the bar for them) choke when you put their personal 9-10 in a bar in front of them staring them down with a cute little girly smile.

    That ain’t me, buddy, lol. Got in plenty of fights as a kid and one or two as a college student. Never been afraid to approach a broad in my life. Been shy around two because of fucking oxytocin addiction to their faces. (One was a multi-year crush and one addiction was from dancing too much with a broad.) One died young and wrt the other I beat the addiction. Mostly, lol.

    Lots of men meet your criteria, but not all.

    Last night was a lot of sparring with one old broad. I wouldn’t dance with her much at the start of the night and she wouldn’t dance with me much at the end. (Mirroring my tactics, lol.) Old broad is fucking into me, but hard to game. I left early last night because of options and banged Mrs. Gamer this afternoon. About a 7 on the Richter scale. Good times. Options!

  77. Hey, Emily, are you still cock-teasing that poor beta man you used to sleep with? Is that what your Pope taught women should do? Because you don’t seem loving, and it is clear you have no idea what the word “responsible” actually means.

    Write back if you get a clue, girl.

  78. Props on going for a girl-couple, a lot of guys would have used that as an excuse ‘they probably don’t even like boys’ sorta thing to not approach.

    A lesbian is a woman who prefers to have sex with other women.

    As the book “What Do Women Want” by Danier Bergner, ‘My Secret Garden” by Nancy Friday and some others make clear, the words that really matter in that definition … are the first 5.

  79. “That said, I think a pragmatic approach based on Red Pill awareness and the fundaments that make it up would serve men best in developing a Red Pill mindset that works for him.”

    And this is the crux right here…

    The journey of the red pill is to know one’s self and internalise their own value to the point where it’s not about dodging bullets…its simply reaching a point where they are just not having to…

  80. @theasdgamer
    “After a half bottle of Port…older broads are harder to game…this is well-recognized in the manosphere…practice on older broads…younger broads are easier to game and you will get much success with younger broads after practicing on older broads…older broads will game you…be prepared to practice defense…they will try to get their claws into your emotions…fucking old witches…what can you do but laugh at yourself?”

    lol wut? Older chicks are WAY easier. They’re desperate and lonely lol I wouldn’t want to date them, they’re probably harder to date, but pulling them is easy. Half the time their friends will cheer them on getting laid instead of cockblock.

    @SJF
    “That statement was more meant that if you get hyped up by PUA stuff that YaReally talks about and yet you haven’t put in the time to have mastery of PUA or an an unskilled artist at it, then you have to be realistic about your prospects. If you haven’t put in the time, learned the craft, approached lots of women or actually been with a lot of women then you are just winging it and your mileage may vary.”

    Thanks for the clarification (I hear the argument I mentioned a bunch when people hate on PUA lol). I agree completely with this. I would way rather some guy goes out infield this weekend to approach a bunch of girls and try this shit out and write a Field Report than spend his weekend reading my stupid archives.

    @kobayashii234i234
    “The journey of the red pill is to know one’s self and internalise their own value”

    Yup. That’s what Tyler’s vid I linked is all about and what we try to stress. It’s surreal to me now how many guys can’t see their own value because they’ve let other people and society dictate their value system (which is almost never “the things I have” and almost always “the things I don’t have and probably can’t ever achieve so I have an excuse to not try”). Though I know I used to BE that guy so I get it…but it’s super sad to look around and see all this potential going to waste out there.

  81. @Rollo – Very, very well written. You cover some very important concepts in this post.

    “Women have evolved to perceive the smallest cues and subtlest of hints – to the point it’s a subconscious subroutine running in their background processing of information about you when they’re not even cognitively aware of it.”

    This is the double-edged sword. Just as they are hyperaware and hypervigilant to social cues, they are also hypervulnerable and hyperdistractable with a genuine approach of subtlety. It is akin to performing microsurgery. Carelessness in operation is magnified.

    “It’s very easy to get caught up in the hope for a magic solution to your problems in life. There’s no shortage of motivational speakers and charismatic ‘self-help’ gurus ready to sell you a book, or a sermon, or some self-styled social movement promising to show you how to develop this “winners’ mindset”. It’s important to bear in mind that any mindset you learn is only as legitimate as the realities that inform it.”

    That in particular is critically important.

    Women do not respond to your application of techniques and skills. They respond to the male they perceive. If those techniques and skills are practiced enough that their application is seamless and a part of the actual personality, the perception by the female of “alpha” is not only incurred… but also is correct. You are unlikely to fool female perception with false posture.

    Rather, develop real posture that arises from internal power.

    Regards,

    Ivan
    http://www.darktriadman.com

  82. @forgethesky

    I should definitely clarify: They were not actually lesbians even though they kissed each other in front of me. It was a pretty big shit-test / troll to see how I would react.

    They were definitely the feminist, “I don’t need a man, but when I’m fucking random dudes I’m the one using THEM for their dicks” types.

    The first girl was definitely giving me the eyes when I was grabbing their hair right after they made out with each other. The more I thought about this today, the more I realized that there were even more huge IOIs I missed out on from the first girl because I was too focused on the second chick who I thought I was vibing with.

    After we walk out of the bar we stop another couple for a light. The second girl is chatting them up and the first girl even though we’re all on our way home starts telling me she’s hungry for breakfast sandwiches. At this point, I was so out of state from realizing I fucked up the set that I didn’t realize she was probably trying to isolate me and go get food with me while sending her friend home. She was only a 6 so I’m not that pissed about it, but when it starts get to cold in the winter, it’s nice to have some place warm to put your dick.

  83. @scribblerg, thank you! I consider introspective writing to be my main gift so it means a lot to be affirmed in that.

    @SJF, for sure. Even though CH has a darker world view than I can personally sign on to, he also has amazing wisdom on the feminine experience.

  84. LeeLee
    When I read it, I was like !!!! I’m not crazy, bad, or beyond hope. I’m a GIRL !!!!

    Amazing how good it feels to shovel that 2nd stage feminist “men and women are exactly the same except women can have babies” junk out of your head, isn’t it? I don’t buy everything Deida writes, mind you, but he was far more in touch with reality back when he wrote that book than any of the blank-slate, equalitarian, get-in-line feminists or their White Knight enablers.

    Be a girl and have fun with it!

  85. @ YaReally

    lol wut? Older chicks are WAY easier. They’re desperate and lonely

    Ya, sex with them is easy if they have younger competition and often they know their own version of game to corral some half-alpha chode.

    If you’re in a venue where there’s no younger competition, then older broads can be a bitch to game.

  86. “If you’re in a venue where there’s no younger competition, then older broads can be a bitch to game.”

    Time for a different venue lol It’s probably hard to game pigs in a pigpen too 😀

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