Vulnerability

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One of the most endemic masculine pitfalls men have faced since the rise of feminine social primacy has been the belief that their ready displays of emotional vulnerability will make men more desirable mates for women.

In an era when men are raised from birth to be “in touch with their feminine sides”, and in touch with their emotions, we get generations of men trying to ‘out-emote’ each other as a mating strategy.

To the boys who grow into Beta men, the ready eagerness with which they’ll roll over and reveal their bellies to women comes from a conditioned belief that doing so will prove their emotional maturity and help them better identify with the women they mistakenly believe have a capacity to appreciate it.

What they don’t understand is that the voluntary exposing of ones most vulnerable elements isn’t the sign of strength that the Feminine Imperative has literally bred a belief of into these men.

A reflexive exposing of vulnerability is an act of submission, surrender and a capitulation to an evident superior. Dogs will roll over almost immediately when they acknowledge the superior status of another dog.

Vulnerability is not something to be brandished or proud of. While I do believe the insight and acknowledgement of your personal vulnerabilities is a necessary part of understanding oneself (particularly when it comes to unplugging oneself), it is not the source of attraction, and certainly not arousal, that most men believe it is for women.

From the comfort of the internet and polite company women will consider the ‘sounds-right’ appeal of male vulnerability with regard to what they’re supposed to be attracted to, but on an instinctual, subconscious level, women make a connection with the weakness that vulnerability represents.

A lot of men believe that trusting displays of vulnerability are mutually exclusive of displays of weakness, but what they ignore is that Hypergamy demands men that can shoulder the burden of performance. When a man openly broadcasts his vulnerableness he is, by definition, beginning from a position of weakness.

The problem with idealizing a position of strength is in thinking you’re already beginning from that strength and your magnanimous display of trusting vulnerability will be appreciated by a receptive woman. I strongly disagree with assertions like those of various Purple Pill ‘life coaches’ that open, upfront vulnerability is ever attractive to a woman.

The idea goes that if a man is truly outcome-independent with his being rejected by a woman, the first indicator of that independence is a freedom to be vulnerable with her. The approach then becomes one of “hey, I’m just gonna be my vulnerable self and if you’re not into me then I’m cool with that.”

The hope is that a woman will receive this approach as intended and find something refreshing about it, but the sad truth is that if this were the attraction key its promoters wish it was, every guy ‘just being himself‘ would be swimming in top shelf pussy. This is a central element to Beta Game – the hope that a man’s openness will set him apart from ‘other guys’ – it is common practice for men who believe in the equalist fantasy that women will rise above their feral natures when it comes to attraction, and base their sexual selection on his emotional intelligence.

The fact is that there is no such thing as outcome independence. The very act of your approaching a woman means you have made some effort to arrive at a favorable outcome with her. The fact that you’d believe a woman would even find your vulnerability attractive voids any pretense of outcome independence.

Hypergamy Doesn’t Care About Male Vulnerability

When I wrote Women in Love and the followups, Men in Love and Of Love and War, I described men’s concept of love as ‘idealistic’.

Naturally, simple minds exaggerated this into “men just want an impossible unconditional love” or “they want love like they think their mothers loved them.” For what it’s worth, I don’t believe any rational man with some insight ever expects an unconditional love, but I think it’s important to consider that a large part of what constitutes his concept of an idealized love revolves around being loved irrespective of how he performs for, or merits that love.

From Of Love and War:

We want to relax. We want to be open and honest. We want to have a safe haven in which struggle has no place, where we gain strength and rest instead of having it pulled from us. We want to stop being on guard all the time, and have a chance to simply be with someone who can understand our basic humanity without begrudging it. To stop fighting, to stop playing the game, just for a while.

We want to, so badly.

If we do, we soon are no longer able to.

The concept of men’s idealistic love, the love that makes him the true romantic, begins with a want of freedom from his burden of performance. It’s not founded in an absolute like unconditional love, but rather a love that isn’t dependent upon his performing well enough to assuage a woman’s Hypergamous concept of love.

Oh, the Humanity!

As the true romantics, and because of the performance demands of Hypergamy, there is a distinct want for men to believe that in so revealing their vulnerabilities they become more “human” – that if they expose their frailties to women some mask they believe they’re wearing comes off and (if she’s a mythical “quality woman“™) she’ll excuses his inadequacies to perform to the rigorous satisfaction of her Hypergamy.

The problems with this ‘strength in surrender’ hope are twofold.

First, the humanness he believes a woman will respect isn’t the attraction cue he believes it is. Ten minutes perusing blogs about the left-swiping habits of women using Tinder (or @Tinderfessions) is enough to verify that women aren’t desirous of the kind of “humanness” he’s been conditioned to believe women are receptive to.

In the attraction and arousal stages, women are far more concerned with a man’s capacity to entertain her by playing a role and presenting her with the perception of a male archetype she expects herself to be attracted to and aroused by. Hypergamy doesn’t care about how well you can express your humanness, and primarily because the humanness men believe they’re revealing in their vulnerability is itself a predesigned psychological construct of the Feminine Imperative.

Which brings us to the second problem with ‘strength in surrender’. The caricaturized preconception men have about their masculine identity is a construct of a man’s feminine-primary socialization.

The Masks the Feminine Imperative Makes Men Wear

To explain this second problem it’s important to grasp how men are expected to define their own masculine identities within a social order where the only correct definition of masculinity is prepared for men in a feminine-primary context.

What I mean by this is that the humanness that men wish to express in showing themselves as vulnerable is defined by feminine-primacy.

For the greater part of men’s upbringing and socialization they are taught that a conventional masculine identity is in fact a fundamentally male weakness that only women have a unique ‘cure’ for. It’s a widely accepted manosphere fact that over the past 60 or so years, conventional masculinity has become a point of ridicule, an anachronism, and every media form from then to now has made a concerted effort to parody and disqualify that masculinity. Men are portrayed as buffoons for attempting to accomplish female-specific roles, but also as “ridiculous men” for playing the conventional ‘macho’ role of masculinity. In both instances, the problems their inadequate maleness creates are only solved by the application of uniquely female talents and intuition.

Perhaps more damaging though is the effort the Feminine Imperative has made in convincing generations of men that masculinity and its expressions (of any kind) is an act, a front, not the real man behind the mask of masculinity that’s already been predetermined by his feminine-primary upbringing.

Women who lack any living experience of the male condition have the calculated temerity to define for men what they should consider manhood – from a feminine-primary context. This is why men’s preconception of vulnerability being a sign of strength is fundamentally flawed. Their concept of vulnerability stems from a feminine pretext.

Masculinity and vulnerability are defined by a female-correct concept of what should best serve the Feminine Imperative. That feminine defined masculinity (tough-guy ridiculousness) feeds the need for defining vulnerability as a strength – roll over, show your belly and capitulate to that feminine definition of masculinity – and the cycle perpetuates itself.

The Mask You Live In” by director Jennifer Siebel Newsom (dual surname noted) is the perfect example of this perpetuation. You have a woman deciding for a larger public in a documentary what the male experience is and then solving the problem (i.e. the tired trope of men needing to get more in touch with their emotions) for men.

Men are ridiculous posers. Men are socialized to wear masks to hide what the Feminine Imperative has decided is their true natures (they’re really girls wearing boy masks). Men’s problems extend from their inability to properly emote like women, and once they are raised better (by women and men who comply with the Feminine Imperative) they can cease being “tough” and get along better with women. That’s the real strength that comes from men’s feminized concept of vulnerability – compliance with the Feminine Imperative.

Ironically Newsom is still oblivious to the fact that she can only create such a documentary in an environment of feminine-primacy. No man could produce this and be taken seriously in our contemporary social climate.

It’s indictment of the definers of what masculinity ought to be that they still characterize modern masculinity (based on the ‘feels’) as being problematic when for generations our feminine-primary social order has conditioned men to associate that masculinity in as feminine-beneficial a context as women would want.

They still rely on an outdated formula which presumes the male experience is inferior, a sham, in comparison to the female experience, and then presumes to know what the male experience really is and offers feminine-primary solutions for it.

From The 16 Commandments of Poon:

IV. Don’t play by her rules

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.

True vulnerability is not a value-added selling point for a man when it comes to approaching and attracting women. As with all things, your vulnerability is best discovered by a woman through demonstration –never explaining those vulnerabilities to her with the intent of appearing more human as the feminine would define it.

Women want a bulwark against their own emotionalism, not a co-equal male emoter whose emotionalism would compete with her own. The belief that male vulnerability is a strength is a slippery slope from misguided attraction to emotional codependency, to overt dependency on a woman to accommodate and compensate for the weaknesses that vulnerability really implies.

I know a lot of guys think that displays vulnerability from a position of Alpha dominance, or strength can be endearing for a woman when you’re engaged in an LTR, but I’m saying that’s only the case when the rare instance of vulnerability is unintentionally revealed. Vulnerability is not a strength, and especially not when a man deliberately reveals it with the expectation of a woman appreciating it as a strength.

At some point in any LTR you will show your vulnerable side, and there’s nothing wrong with that. What’s wrong is the overt attempt to parlay that vulnerability into a strength or virtue that you expect that woman to appreciate, feel endearment over or reciprocate with displays of her own vulnerability for.

A chink in the armor is a weakness best kept from view of those who expect you to perform your best in all situations. If that chink is revealed in performing your best, then it may be considered a strength for having overcome it while performing to your best potential. It is never a strength when you expect it to be appreciated as such.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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eon
eon
8 years ago

“I don’t see why it isn’t actually preferable to seek counsel from someone who ideally has been in your shoes previously and can offer unbiased advice and emotional support. (Such as a mentor, male relative, friend etc.)” [kateandluca, December 4th, 2014 at 9:00 am] In addition to it being more likely that you will get useful and accurate information from someone who has been in your shoes, and thus actually understands your situation completely, this also avoids the problems of dependence. Other men do not depend on you for support and stability, so that type of vulnerability will not influence… Read more »

The Brass Cat
The Brass Cat
8 years ago

Rollo said: Notice how the emphasis is on “emotional” support. This is characteristic of a feminine-primary mental point of origin. No where is “material” support or protection security mentioned because “emotions” are the only valuable commodity worth mention or valuable in an egalitarian exchange – not a complementarian balance of mutually valuable support. I agree that the emotional support concept is of a feminine-primary mental point of origin. But it is relevant to point out that it is also the by-product of modern luxury. When facing a food shortage because of a crop failure, something like “emotional support” sounds like… Read more »

J.J.
J.J.
8 years ago

@ kateandluca “I don’t see why it isn’t actually preferable to seek council from someone who ideally has been in your shoes previously and can offer unbiased advice and emotional support. (Such as a mentor, male relative, friend etc.)” It IS preferable. We all know that and we all do revert to that kind of advice, but you have a role to play too – as a life partner or wife. Your role in this is the following: Say to him… you understand. You are sure he can deal with it… (meaning you believe in him – that’s what he… Read more »

J.J.
J.J.
8 years ago

Of course, if you are not sincere about it… your’e on your own…

The Brass Cat
The Brass Cat
8 years ago

Makes sense. And this is why women rarely marry below their own station in life. Sex with the gardener, yes, but not marriage.

kateandluca
8 years ago

@J.J. Maybe I was not clear in that I DO do that. (And by the way, i am the same person as “myrealitle” – sometimes wordpress logs me into a different account). I just want the conversation to end there. I don’t want to have detailed discussions about all of the potential obstacles, mistakes, and hazards of his path. (Today so and so gave me a dirty look and then x,y,z happened and now I feel crappy). This minutia sucks the life out of me. And I tell my husband, very sincerely, I believe that if anyone can win the… Read more »

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[…] post because it encapsulates precisely what I was describing towards the end of my post on Vulnerability, that our modern normative social consciousness is one that is defined by a female-correct, […]

J.J.
J.J.
8 years ago

@ kateandluca / myrealitle “I just want the conversation to end there. I don’t want to have detailed discussions about all of the potential obstacles, mistakes, and hazards of his path. (Today so and so gave me a dirty look and then x,y,z happened and now I feel crappy). This minutia sucks the life out of me.” Fair enough – as someone else here suggested I think you should tell him this, because he doesn’t realise that he’s doing it (sharing too many details) – explain this to him – it’s preferable to communicate it to him – rather than… Read more »

J.J.
J.J.
8 years ago

Rollo, thank you for your reply. I just want to point out that the extract I cited from that report implies that women have always been expected to provide emotional support – traditionally: “Previous blueprints for romantic relationships emphasized separate roles for men and women (Cancian, 1987). According to this traditional idea of relationships, women were responsible for providing emotional support to their partner, but men were not.” This report indicates that support from women is dwindling and emotional support from men is increasing. My issue is with men being asked to give up any expectation of support, because apparently… Read more »

Tim
Tim
8 years ago

Vulnerability done RIGHT is very attractive done wrong very unattractive. This texts explain in detail how to do it right and what is the wrong way to do it and why it works:

http://authenticmanprogram.com/new/downloads/AMP_POI_TrainingManual.pdf

Chester
Chester
8 years ago

Rollo: “Notice how the emphasis is on “emotional” support. This is characteristic of a feminine-primary mental point of origin. No where is “material” support or protection security mentioned because “emotions” are the only valuable commodity worth mention or valuable in an egalitarian exchange – not a complementarian balance of mutually valuable support.” Could it be that there is no other type of support a woman would provide to a man anyways. Even in a complementary relationship, what woman would provide material support or protection to a man? Most men don’t even see it as a possibility. If a woman does… Read more »

bear
bear
8 years ago

Keep the vulnerability for your guy friends -never for your girl. She does not want to be your emotional tampon

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7 years ago

[…] I touched on this in Vulnerability: […]

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7 years ago

[…] I covered this reprogramming effort in Vulnerability: […]

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[…] closing, what I find interesting in all of this was recalling how my Vulnerability post was received. That was an important post because it described the expectation of […]

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[…] post on these 3 topics about 2 months ago, and then Rollo had 3 posts on boundaries, intimacy, and vulnerability a month or so ago that pushed me to think about them more. So I finally have the time to write […]

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[…] Vulnerability […]

biblicalgenderroles
7 years ago

Well said. Women when they truly acknowledge how they are made don’t want their husband to be like their girlfriends – they want him to a be a man. His strength and steadfastness is what makes him attractive.

Even beyond initial attraction – wives respect when their husbands correct them and help them to see through their own emotional clouds, even though they can’t always admit it. Women in their heart of hearts don’t want “yes men” – they want a man who leads them.

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[…] proper push towards the bedroom door if he happens to be the ‘little’ spoon and feeling vulnerable that […]

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[…] the better he is in accepting his manhood. The Feminine Imperative is all too ready to teach him his masculinity is a mask he wears; something he puts on and not the ‘real’ him. He needs to proudly reject this notion […]

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7 years ago

[…] I dig into Powell’s article here I think it’s important to revisit my essay about Vulnerability. Powell’s ego is invested in the ‘strength in weakness’ theme his feminine […]

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7 years ago

[…] As a bonus this message also overtly confirms much of what I wrote in Vulnerability: […]

Mylia Noir
6 years ago

Recently a guy told me that the height of a romantic relationship for him would be a girl being entirely emotionally vulnerable with him. This notion confused me at first. But I have heard it from other “dating coaches” for women before, too.

I am wondering, @Rollo Tomassi, whether vulnerability is regarded as a female/feminine strength (opposed to a male strength) and/or attraction point to most men?

If so, perhaps this is another reason why many men falsely believe vulnerability could be attractive to women – another case of projection.

Alice
Alice
6 years ago

All of this bad boy crap is why women are giving up on men en masse. No longer is it possible to find a functional, responsible male. Only women seem to have that most beautiful of expressions of love and fullness–responsibility. None of the things you have described her describe the attractiveness and beauty of the responsible male.

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
6 years ago

@Alice

Women get the men they deserve.

kfg
kfg
6 years ago

@Alice:

Yeah, I know life ain’t fair and it sucks to be over 30, but if you pet the cats and have another pint of Cherry Garcia before you go to bed you’ll feel a lot better about things.

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

@Mylia If so, perhaps this is another reason why many men falsely believe vulnerability could be attractive to women – another case of projection. It’s partly projection, but mostly because feminists have been telling men for 40 years that it’s true. Perhaps it piggybacks on the projection, or maybe it just goes alongside it. Bottom line is that men are told women find it attractive even though they don’t. Third wave feminism lies to both men and women. “Vulnerability is attractive to women!” “Men find thirty year olds with a Master’s degree just as attractive as twenty year olds with… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
6 years ago
Omega Man
Omega Man
6 years ago

what i was taught is simple: the LAST thing a woman wants when she’s crying… is her man next to her, crying. do NOT fall for the “get in touch with your feminine side” bullshit. if you are a man and are a human with emotions, those emotions need to be revealed HONESTLY and not related to or intended to strengthen your relationship with a woman. if your dog gets hit by a car and you get emotional and a tear flows… let it flow. you are a man but you loved and lost your dog. if your girl is… Read more »

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[…] John Alexander 6:45 Chateau Heartiste 14:00 Oneitis 19:30 Duluth Model 21:35 Women Military 34:45 Investment Parad. 43:19 Fitness Test 51:00 No Fault Divorce 1:01:30 London Attack 1:04:15 […]

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[…] John Alexander 6:45 Chateau Heartiste 14:00 Oneitis 19:30 Duluth Model 21:35 Women Military 34:45 Investment Parad. 43:19 Fitness Test 51:00 No Fault Divorce 1:01:30 London Attack 1:04:15 […]

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[…] In Vulnerability I described this deliberate, but calculated, confusion thusly: […]

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[…] human beings. They’re taught that strength is weakness and weakness is strength, and that vulnerability and emotionalism makes them whole […]

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[…] and if anything it only serves to confuse a woman about her estimate of your status. Moments of Vulnerability can be reassuring for women, but only when that vulnerability is uncharacteristic for a […]

thomasso75
5 years ago

In my own experience, you can earn some easy points when revealing vulnerabillity in a short glimbs, for instance if you are moved or touched about something with your kids.
But I think there’s a lot of truth in this writing in regards to not being a whiny little bitch who cry to every sad movie or when confronted with the tinyest challenge in the relationship.

thomasso75
5 years ago

Exactly Rollo!

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[…] of my readers are aware of my stand on the myth of male vulnerability. Weakness is not strength, but the Village of the Feminine Imperative, would have us believe that […]

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[…] Vulnerability by Rollo […]

Rudd
5 years ago

Im six months into being single again after a failed 7 year marriage where I deteriorated from a confident, masculine man with alpha characteristics to a beta ‘dont rock the boat’ blue pill mindsetl It obviously didnt work, still dont fully know how i fell into that behaviour (but fast finding out) and the result is obvious. I also said I will never behave like that. And Im not, currently enjoying an authentic, masculine life, spinning plates, being clear on my expectation with women, and they love this authenticity, and frankly dont mind being part of a harem. (as i… Read more »

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

@Rudd: “….any others have similar feelings ?”

Only most.

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[…] wait, I thought ‘vulnerability was sexy‘? Weakness is strength […]

rchem58
rchem58
5 years ago

http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2013/09/i-am-the-patriarchy.html

When women they are the ones that don’t let men be vulnerable and that women create the patriachy.

LOL

dgilmer564
5 years ago

This is my first comment. I’ve been a supporter of the Red Pill perspective for a couple of years now, but only in the last month have I made a strident effort to do serious in-depth reading and reflection on the subject. I first read this post a month ago, and have since combed through all your best of posts and have now arrived in year 4. I wanted to speak up then, but I’ve saved my comment because I felt I needed to sit back and fully absorb this stuff before I shot myself in the foot. Your concept… Read more »

dgilmer564
5 years ago

I would also add, that even though a particularly vulnerability might not be conquered *yet*, it is key to express it in a way that demonstrates you are actually doing something about it rather than sitting back and allowing it to control you. Any sort of fear or insecurity can be expressed in terms of doing something about it. “I feel ugly sometimes so that’s why I kick ass in the gym. That way if I decide to punch you in the face you’re gonna be ugly too.” Vs “I’m ugly so I have a hard time attracting girls”. Both… Read more »

dgilmer564
5 years ago

@Rollo There went the light bulb. Surrender is one of my new favorite posts now. Your concept of true vulnerability cuts right to the core: we have thrust upon us an implied vulnerability any time we invest ourselves in a woman, and there simply is no way to speak of it, because once we do it becomes an overt appeal to reason. The notion of any LTR or marriage proposal is definitely attached with the notion that I must somehow surrender to it in my brain. I have a hunch that this very misunderstanding is why so many people in… Read more »

dgilmer564
5 years ago

Shit… when it comes down to it I am selling feelz. Maybe that’s why it seems to sell so well. I was justifying it as a sort of, “if I can do it, so can you” kinda thing. Attraction and arousal are two different things. It makes sense now. It is easy to confuse discontent with vulnerability. So, a person with a deformity would have a sort of implied vulnerability, but voicing discontentment with said vulnerability would be an explication of self deprecation. It may be something that can never be changed, so in such a case there’s no attractive… Read more »

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[…] the material I was going to use for my second book, Preventive Medicine, I chose to use the essay Vulnerability in the hopes that I might be able to dispel one of the more egregious fantasies about masculinity […]

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[…] the material I was going to use for my second book, Preventive Medicine, I chose to use the essay Vulnerability in the hopes that I might be able to dispel one of the more egregious fantasies about masculinity […]

trackback

[…] written a lot about the lie of transvaluation and  Vulnerability in the past, but this was really in terms of how women perceive men and require strength and […]

trackback
4 years ago

[…] written a lot about the lie of transvaluation and  Vulnerability in the past, but this was really in terms of how women perceive men and require strength and […]

Susieq
Susieq
4 years ago

Wow. What a load of crap. I’m not at all sure the writer here, who I’m not familiar with, has any idea of what vulnerability is. It’s not the opposite of strength. It’s not acting like a woman. All it is is being able to reveal yourself without fear of embarrassment or humiliation. That should be implicit in a trusting relationship—it isn’t expected on a first date, and would in fact be pretty creepy if it happened that fast. The statement that any LTR will obviously have moments of vulnerability is ridiculous. I ended up reading this post because I… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
4 years ago

Thanks for sharing, Susieq.

David
David
3 years ago

So what I’m trying to wrap my head around… vulnerability may not be arousing, but like fuck … without it you block a system from running and regulating. Im not saying to break down without a willingness to grow through it. That’s the prerequisite frame I figure. If you do it you need to see it as a tool for moving forward. I’m an intense systems thinker who also has the trauma history to be somewhat on the dark triad scale. It’s like I understand the system has to work, and try to figure that out enough and to manage… Read more »

VT15
VT15
2 years ago

Hi, this is a new trend in management method To show his vulnerability in order to develop trust in the team. What do you think of this practice certainly encouraged by feminism ?

Mud
Mud
2 years ago

I experienced as well the side effects of being weak and vulnerable. With a bit of perspective I can exactly track the turning point of all my relationships and it was all connected to moments of stress, uncertainty and fear from my side. However, these are exactly the moments that allow me to grow and I would say that my new me that came out of those situations wouldn’t be content to be with those women anyway. However, I remember the struggle, the pain, and the loneliness, and to think that for once I can’t rely on my partner is… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
2 years ago
Reply to  Mud

But sometimes you just can’t pretend you are fine. It’s double the effort to deal with your own struggle and keep a mask especially with your partner. I think we all know what that is like, for sure I know exactly what it’s like. MUD, I’m going to try to link to a specific time in a vid, if it doesn’t work just watch all the minutes. This is from a current movie based on a book about WW II. Tom Hanks portrays the captain of a US Destroyer escorting cargo ships, oil tankers, troop ships, etc. across the Atlantic… Read more »

kfg
kfg
2 years ago

Apropos of nothing in particular, but I haven’t read the book for about 50 years and had ordered the Kindle version about 5 minutes before seeing your comment.

PalmaSailor
PalmaSailor
2 years ago

@Anonymous Reader

“An indecisive man is very alarming to a woman, because their evolutionary psychology demands confidence.”

An old mentor of mine insisted that in business it was important to keep making decisions. It didn’t matter if they were wrong as long as you weren’t too ego invested to recognise it.

If you were wrong, you simply made another decision to change the Last one. Either way decisions had to continually be made, it wasn’t acceptable to simply “drift”

Sentient
Sentient
2 years ago
Reply to  Mud

MUD https://heartiste.org/2013/03/21/the-fundamental-premise/ *If you are a man, know that the moment you were born the universe had it in for you. The deck was stacked. The deal was raw. Your expendability was programmed into your wet code before you gained self-awareness. The worldscape of genes can rebuild with the seed of one man should catastrophe strike, but each woman lost is a lethal blow to the repopulation project. In sober moments free of maudlin introspection, you will understand there is no other game to play save this one. This is why to live as a man is to TAKE what… Read more »

stuffinbox
2 years ago

MUD, lower than whale shit? “But sometimes you just can’t pretend you are fine. It’s double the effort to deal with your own struggle and keep a mask especially with your partner.” Is this an equal partnership? I find women to be more supportive the day before payday. Does this mean they love opportunistically? A tough old timer that was stoic to the core,( I could never tell if he was smiling or getting ready to fight,absolutely no expression whatsoever) Told me that he would ” sometimes I just go out back and cry”. Never let them see you sweat!… Read more »

Incubus_Rising
Incubus_Rising
2 years ago

A woman may cry to high heavens if she breaks a nail and the whole world will stop and sympathize with her, coddle her, and even call her brave and strong for tolerating the “immense pain”. A man sheds a tear in front of a woman two days after the untimely death of his mother, not crying or begging for sympathy, just a tear shed in a moment of sadness for the loss of the most important person in his life, and he was called weak and pathetic by the woman and she left him. Remember, emotional vulnerability is your… Read more »

IRL
IRL
2 years ago

@Incubus_Rising A man sheds a tear in front of a woman two days after the untimely death of his mother, not crying or begging for sympathy, just a tear shed in a moment of sadness for the loss of the most important person in his life, and he was called weak and pathetic by the woman and she left him. Whoa easy there. It’s true that showing emotional vulnerability leads to dropping in altitude in the man-to-woman dynamic. But why fearmongering that “just a tear” => “she left him”? Cheating, leaving, divorcing… damn, moving to a new city, quitting a… Read more »

Incubus_Rising
Incubus_Rising
2 years ago

The homeless geezers occupying this space are just like women. Very emotional.

Apparently if you don’t waste hours everyday shit posting here, “you haven’t done the work, you are we weak, a victim, a crybaby”.

I am not a newb and I don’t need any advise from anybody. Save your breath.

Keep calm and carry the fuck on.

IRL
IRL
2 years ago

I wrote this with @MUD in mind and you took it personally? Oh the irony…
By the second paragraph I forgot about you and didn’t tag the other guy…

Ease up broski… would be great to see a comment from you when you don’t complain, exaggerate or get grumpy…

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