The Wrong Girl

“You just married the wrong girl mate.”

“You must be attracting the wrong kind of women.”

“Not all women are like that, you need to go places where the quality women are.”

“Those girls are just damaged.”

Fortune cookie, non-comital internet “wisdom” like this abounds on Twitter and in the self-improvement sphere today.

I read a lot of these rationales from women and male allies whenever a guy makes a general, empirical, but unflattering, point about the nature of women. Even casual observations or questions about this nature are met with subjective answers that put the blame of asking back on the guy. There must be something wrong with you for even making mention of it.

As I mentioned in my last post, there’s a kind of ‘talking past’ one another when it comes to believers vs. empiricists. Notice that all of these common dismissals are based on value judgements. The nature of the conversation between these mindsets begins in the misunderstanding that both are focusing on a mutual goal.

People resort to denial when recognizing that the truth would destroy something they hold dear. In the case of a cheating partner, denial lets you avoid acknowledging evidence of your own humiliation. Short of catching a spouse in bed with your best friend, evidence of infidelity is usually ambiguous. It’s motivated skepticism. You’re more skeptical of things you don’t want to believe and demand a higher level of proof.

Denial is unconscious, or it wouldn’t work: if you know you’re closing your eyes to the truth, some part of you knows what the truth is and denial can’t perform its protective function.

One thing we all struggle to protect is a positive self-image. The more important the aspect of your self-image that’s challenged by the truth, the more likely you are to go into a state of denial. If you have a strong sense of self-worth and competence your self-image can take hits but remain largely intact; if you’re beset by self-doubt (a hallmark of self-righteous Beta thinking), however, any acknowledgment of failure can be devastating and any admission of error painful to the point of being unthinkable. Self-justification and denial arise from the dissonance between believing you’re competent, and making a mistake, which clashes with that image.

Solution: deny the mistake.

Denial, July 11, 2012

The ideology of personal responsibility is the Swiss army knife of subjectivist rationalization. “Extreme Ownership” is a lot like the “just be yourself” non-response people will give you when they don’t know what to tell you about your lack of Game. It sounds like wisdom, but it’s really based on the presumption of knowing a guy must always find fault in himself before any other consideration. Guys rarely struggle with overconfidence, but tell him the solution to his problems lies in him self-deprecating more and that he can get behind.

In this subjectivism there are no outside variables. There is no intentional maliciousness from others, or extenuating circumstances, only how you react to them and what you did to bring them on yourself. All the blame for anyone’s bad condition rests on the shoulders of the individual:

  • Your life is fucked up? Your fault.
  • Your Game/relationships suck? Your fault for tolerating it.
  • You think women are one way – a way counter to the popular norm? You’re just meeting the ‘wrong kind of women’.

Again, value judgements replace objectivity. If your life sucks it’s real easy to presume the individual is the cause of the suck. And any analysis (even the desire to objectively analyze) of other people’s will, motives or outside circumstance is always an excuse; a redirection away from owning the suck yourself.

Maybe that person was the ‘right‘ one all along, you just were the wrong one for her? Self-doubt is a key element in subjectivism.

Your Game/relationships suck? Your fault for tolerating it. You think women are one way – a way counter to the popular norm? You’re just meeting the ‘wrong kind of women’. Again, value judgements replace objectivity. There’s no such thing as a general truth when your grasp of human nature is that, subjectively, everyone is a random unknowable snowflake. “People are people, man. Everybody’s different. If you think different it’s because you’re judgmental.

Own It

The popularity of ‘Success Porn‘ online today depends heavily on this self-evincing subjective ownership. It’s far easier to solve a person’s problems if he’s the source of his problems rather than the particulars of his circumstances. The Tony Robbins of the world have raised this to an art form. Owning your faults locks in very well with stoicism, but too much stoicism and you cancel out the emotional high that you need in an adherent to get pumped on your motivational speaking.

Guys who ‘go black pill‘ are the opposite extreme of this. Black Pill as a movement focuses on objective realities to such an extreme degree that nihilism defines it. But that nihilism is also a necessary part of subjectivism.

It gets a lot wrong in the problem solving department, but what Black Pill gets right is their understanding of the shifting of causality. For Success Porn gurus, optimism is an easy sell in an age of negativity. So maintaining the idea of an endemic negativity in the culture is a necessary part of the ‘rise above it‘ mantra. You don’t have to actually defeat anyone else today, you have to defeat the worst parts of yourself. It’s much easier when there’s no real external opposition and it’s just you against you.

All the salesmen of the “feel-good pill” have an ironclad rationale; people are the source of their own misery. ‘Own your problems’ is a go-to answer because it gets the salesman off the hook with respect to actually analyzing and solving anyone’s problems.

This is the counselor’s dilemma: Most people’s internal struggles are personal to them and require a personal understanding and interaction on the part of the counselor. That kind of personal investment is tough to do when you’ve got 10,000 people in a concert hall all begging for you to solve their unique set of problems. Thus, finding a way to convince the majority of a commonality in their personal problems with those of everyone else is necessary. Personalized subjectivism fills this need for the believers, but it has to have a common root that everyone can commiserate around – me against me.

Subjectivism, social constructionism and blank-slate egalitarianism are the -isms that have defined western cultures and their thinking for the past 60 years. Now, I know the tone of all this seems like I’m picking on Trad-Cons or the new wave of Manosphere Moralism today, but it’s also a mistake not to highlight just how this subjectivism pervades the ideologies of the Village, social justice, intersectional feminism and religion steeped in the Feminine Imperative today.

One common theme I see in researching how feminism and the Feminine Imperative are assimilating mainstream religions is where almost all of them end up – this same, all-is-one subjectivist belief set. In every instance of the Feminine Imperative assuming control of a faith, that faith is converted to unitarian tolerance, then acceptance, of elements that religion was opposed to in its prior iteration. Clear, distinct, articles of faith are replaced with an unconditional doctrine of inclusiveness that homogenizes separate faiths into one global faith based on the ‘cult of love’.

In my upcoming book, Religion, I detail this ‘cult of love’ and it’s end-goal of creating a unitary world-faith that’s dependent on the Feminine Imperative defining it. For now, its enough to consider that this push towards a one-world religion will find its foundation in the same subjectivism we’re seeing clash with objectivism in the ‘sphere today.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

128 comments on “The Wrong Girl

  1. Yes, and as you point out it’s both macro and micro. We are told that traditional (masculine) western culture is not any better than anything else out there, and probably worse due to massive historical sins. Students in college are brainwashed to deride masculinity, and western civilization built by men.

    On the personal level, most people, media, and the current culture tell us no person is better than anyone else, and how dare you judge. In fact, trying to be objective is naughty and makes you the bad person.

    People have told me their experience is valid, despite it being, well, objectively false. The worst arguments I have been in with women are when they insisted that their subjective emotional state is the reality, and the objective observations I make are not real, because they don’t conform to and support her feelings. eg “you weren’t there for me!” “I was in fact, here is an example” “No, you weren’t there for me because I don’t feel like you were”. It’s crazy making.

    Now what’s left of men, western civ and religions are getting this same gas lighting treatment.

  2. Andrea Tate is wrong for me,at first glance her legs look to be crossed after more study she is definitely manspreading and I can’t find her attractive.

    Having already been down the road of total ego deflation,to the point of loss of motivation. Then rebuilding into someone without regrets the freedom I have scares some,the lack of self deprecation scares some. The women need a man to confess and beg forgiveness but only for alpha crimes. The men need to police each other and be policed in order to fit in,as they don’t, can’t fit in and maintain a pair.

    Spare yourself the indulgence of guilt for the sake of acceptance into a congregation of self defeatists,ruled by their women. If and when God chooses to pass judgment on me for my sins I will accept that,until then it is my business to learn from my mistakes and move on with that knowledge. The biggest trouble with forgiveness is it’s promotion of more immorality,as she has been forgiven for her indiscretions she has no understanding of the hypergamous nature of her being that led her to the predicament in the first place and is bound for repetition till her attraction is squandered.

    There is a tendency to oversimplify down to one solution,paradoxically the solution is both daily objectivity with subjective introspection to maintain balance

  3. Essays like this are why I read what Rollo writes. The first half just sounds like it I’d giving ammo to the black pilled mgtows, but that doesn’t matter, because seeking the truth is more important than starving or feeding any particular ideology.

    Some problems aren’t your fault. But a man still has to make the best decisions he can in whatever situation he is in if he wants to move past the problems.

  4. “You chose poorly” is a static analysis that doesn’t take into account the fact that people change over time in both good and bad ways.

    Of course “Sux to be you” is so much easier than actually trying to help someone. It’s also much, much easier than actually thinking. Therefore it is popular.

  5. Christian churches today are going globo-homo with their rainbow flags hanging in clear display along major roads. Messages and signs talking about “we are all one” and “love everybody” is a nice inconspicuous disguise for this globo-homo agenda in churches today. Like Rollo said, the feminine imperative and sisterhood is making Christian churches a globalist front, just like corporations have been doing for years already. The globalists don’t like cultural traditions and individualism because they want to destroy all identity. I guess this was part of the new world order all along.

  6. Rollo
    In every instance of the Feminine Imperative assuming control of a faith, that faith is converted to unitarian tolerance, then acceptance, of elements that religion was opposed to in its prior iteration.

    This can easily be seen in church after church, across multiple denominations. It will be interesting to see how World War T plays out, because it’s one thing to accept sweater gays and lipstick lesbians, it’s another different thing to welcome men in dresses.

  7. “male allies”


    A nicer way of describing males who attempt to curry favor with women in the hope of being able to get sex from them, such allegiances rarely if ever work and only advertise how low down the hierarchy these males must really be.

  8. On the plus side when talking to women about why past relationships didn’t work out I do say “She wasn’t the right girl for me…”

    While I say this knowing there is no “one” it’s usually enough to spark a girl’s hamster and her hypergamous nature will see me as a higher value guy she wants to “win” over…

    Try is some time….tell a girl “You’re all WRONG for me…” watch how their hamster suddenly explodes and they start qualifying themselves.

  9. I’m sorry bro but you sound more and more like an autist with every passing year. No wonder they booted you from the 21. U wanna talk black pill nihilist objective extreme, take a look in the mirror.

  10. In my upcoming book, Religion, I detail this ‘cult of love’ and it’s end-goal of creating a unitary world-faith that’s dependent on the Feminine Imperative defining it.

    When is this book going to be available. I would love to read it. I can’t wait.
    I’m in constant conflict with the Great Whore, goddess cult, cunt worshipers, Christian Feminists, or whatever you call what our churches have become.

  11. Those comments by “LawyerGirlMiami” were so deep. She is probably an “educated” lawyer too. This is what you get when you empower women. These Jerry Springer types are the majority. Rap music, Nike shoes and chicken tenders y’all. We are the aliens, they are actually the normal “normies” people now. Their world makes perfect sense to them. And it’s all good!

  12. *Clear, distinct, articles of faith are replaced with an unconditional doctrine of inclusiveness that homogenizes separate faiths into one global faith based on the ‘cult of love’. *

    As an atheist, when I point this out, I always get agreement from the religious conservatives I talk to. And then that’s immediately followed by the whiplash of backfire when they attempt to claim that a return to religious conservatism, or worse yet, puritan values, would magically make everything right with the world again. I do what I can to point out that it isn’t the subversion of their specific flavor of faith which caused the decline of everything around us — that’s incidental and correlated, but not causative. For religion is a subset of culture, and the culture (necessary to maintain civilization, at least) has been undermined and subverted; erego religion has been subverted, thus it’s not religion’s decline specifically that’s the cause of all our woes.

    But nope. They don’t wanna hear it. Better to plug one’s ears and scream “if everyone just accepted Jesus all this bullshit wouldn’t exist.” They’re totally open to discussing the anti-FI topics I bring up and agree with basically all of them, but once it hits faith, fuck no, punch that eject button.

  13. They are ALL The wrong girl until they get themselves straight for the Right Alpha.
    Even then the change isn’t usually permanent.

  14. @Rollo:

    I used to see a lot of this (and it is still there) in MRP reddit. I have to say major props to several of the great commentators there (at least when I used to frequent it), but at some stage Red Pill does go beyond just “AWALT” and “Own your shit”.

    Certainly there is indeed a very big share of my (past) behavior that lead, say, my wife to where she is at right now…

    OTOH, as @Sentient went through… I wanted to see if it really was just me or if it was her. I was never a super alpha and I don’t think I can claim to be now with my humble N=3, but I am clearly and obviously mostly AF for a couple of plates much younger than my wife, where the sex is desire sex (now I also get desire sex from the wife, but not consistently).

  15. I detail this ‘cult of love’ and it’s end-goal of creating a unitary world-faith that’s dependent on the Feminine Imperative defining it. For now, its enough to consider

    it’s end goal -> its end goal
    its enough to -> it’s enough to

  16. The message ” own your shit ” is a perfect message for young men. Full stop. The problem is when that message becomes some sort of mass media self help chant.

    That doesn’t mean men shouldn’t understand that in the end, they are responsible for where they find themselves in life.

    Owning your shit also encompasses having the knowledge and understanding of ” forces ” and mechanisms aligned against you and your objectives and well being. That’s your duty.

    Churches, clubs, social status, money, big dick…none of this means anything until a man can pull his head out of the ass of whatever fuckery broader society is touting. You must learn to and accept standing on your own two goddamned feet as a man before anything else.

    Then you can be in the world, but not of it.

    Live your life as a serial follower and you will get whatever others decide you will get, and you’ll be volunteering for it, so don’t complain. Muh church/religion, muh job, muh girl, muh digital footprint😂- don’t do this shit.

    There is no wrong girl, there are just girls. There are ” ideas ” about girls, and then there is the reality of girls. Reality is great. Fantasy is nice too, but don’t live there. Grasp the difference between the two at all times.

    Sometimes others can help you without saying one word. Don’t look to people to assume your burden and draw you any One Size Fits All map. Open your eyes, observe, and think for yourself FIRST.

    When speaking to young men that I’m not related to, I don’t have any individual answers. I have broad answers that they can understand and adapt to their life understanding/situation. People get negatively programmed when they live to follow and belong without first getting who they are and what they want. Life, that shit is a process.

    So a guy like Tate or whatever, I read what he says and I might agree or disagree, but he speaks from his perspective and level of understanding, and that’s got nothing at all to do with me.

    No importa.

  17. IAS

    Don’t discount that your plates have yet to see any beta behaviors from you. Steep them in a few years of that, then see how alpha they think you are.

    Familiarity can breed contempt… Which leads back to burden. What is burden other than owning your shit?

    So in a relationship reset, those less familiar with you may see your alpha much more clearly and quicker than your LTR… Takes her a while and usually takes preselection from other women to really open her eyes. Then she has to test if it is real or a hoax.


  18. Anythinggoes

    “Christian churches today are going globo-homo with their rainbow flags hanging in clear display along major roads. Messages and signs talking about “we are all one” and “love everybody” is a nice inconspicuous disguise for this globo-homo agenda in churches today.”

    You also can’t divorce leftist/Marxist/Equalist politics from this religion.

    Fervor… Fanaticism and ultimately deadly violence for the unbelievers is what’s in store.

    Doubt this? Spend some time in a large Pride Parade or kids that gathering.

    We are going to face Trigglypuffs with full auto weapons.

  19. On “wrong girls”….

    Um yeah there are definitely wrong girls. And those girls aren’t very mysterious.

    Red flags are real.

    Most divorces I encounter were obvi from the start. Some to the point where bets were placed at the wedding.

  20. @Rollo. Well written. This is right up my street.

    I found it vey interesting when you wrote about Self Help Gurus and Stoicism. From an APA point of view Stoicism is bad. From a Self Help guru, who is hawking his services, Stoicism it is good. Both are wrong. Stoicism is neither good nor bad and that is the point.

    Many, many online Positive help salesman are just full of empty platitudes. For example. ‘Happiness is a choice. So, today choose to be happy’. That means absolutely nothing. it is just a strap line. ‘Self mastery’ is a big buzzword in these communities and it is all about putting the blame into the individual’s lap. What these people sell to people is no worse than just saying ‘Man up!’.

    To be Stoic is not about blaming and judging yourself and it is not about blaming others. It is about excepting that life, your own life included and the world is how it is and it is only your own judgements of life that will cause you pain. Telling somebody that their own misery is caused by who they are is wrong on so many levels. Because it is a judgement of that person and it is telling that person to judge themselves. Selp help gurus still use the external as a yardstick to happiness and becoming a better man. You have to look within.

    A good explanation of Stoicism is through this small story. An ancient Zen master had a beautiful, amazing cup. Evey day he would say ‘The cup is broken’. Even though he thought the cup was beautiful and he loved to gaze upon the cup he was never attached to it.

    One day a friend visited his house. His friend picked up the cup to admire it. The cup slipped from his hands and broke on the floor. The Zen Master looked at his friend and smiled, ‘Of course’ he said.

  21. “Fortune cookie, non-comital internet “wisdom” like this abounds on Twitter and in the self-improvement sphere today.”

    Well isn’t that great with social media? Now people with that kind of thighs and way of exposing them can share their thinking to crowds — crowds interested in their thi…nking ofc.

    Similar mechanics at play in academy too — since persons with that kind of thi…nking are in plenty of teaching positions in academy too (lower education grades it’s a given, those are nearly occupied by thi…nkers like those; I mean like that one.

  22. “We are going to face Trigglypuffs with full auto weapons.”

    That will be some unpleasantness to deal with, but isn’t the real problem. The real problem is that behind the first wave of Trigglypuffs will be a developing Che.

  23. “Um yeah there are definitely wrong girls.

    “Most divorces I encounter were obvi from the start. Some to the point where bets were placed at the wedding.”


    “There is no wrong girl, there are just girls.”

    and blax knows this too (why go about vetting, if they’re all just girls, hmm?). but doesn’t want to disagree with rollo.

    Very dangerous message you’re sending to fresh red pill newbies with this op.

  24. There’s a difference between vetting for willingness an controlling against vindictive behavior.

  25. “Very dangerous message you’re sending to fresh red pill newbies with this op.”

    I’m not sure what the message he is sending to newbies is. It seems to be a backlash about watch carefully the Balkanized messages being sent by content providers in a Red Pill space on the internet. There is a lot of Noise out there.

    Idealizations, Social Conventions, The Matrix and All…

    It’s more about getting a clear self-development signal without all the fucking noise.

  26. J

    A man must vet according to his skill/ability and what he wants. Some men can tame the wildest of bitches, most men cannot and should stay light years away from them, but still,they are all girls.

    A vast majority of men, particularly young men…ahem…. Don’t vet or don’t get properly. Who’s fault is that?

    My brother in law told me a few years back that he’d bet that my marriage with his sister wouldn’t last long at all, because he thought no sane man could out up with her ” strongheadedness ” and mean streak. Same story with my mother in law. She told me in Spanish ” no refunds ” .

    21 years later….( H/t sponge Bob ).

    Got nothing to do with disagreeing with Rollo😂😂

    Lol, my stance hasn’t changes since 1981.

    Vet according to your wants/needs, tempered by your abilities. There aren’t ” wrong ” girls, just girls that are not what you want/need, or that you can effectively deal with.

    See: lion taming.

  27. “he’d bet that my marriage with his sister wouldn’t last long at all, because he thought no sane man could out up with her ” strongheadedness ” and mean streak”

    Strong personality /= background/upbringing. You choose your wife (besides her hottness) because you knew how she was raised. Her values aligned with yours.

    and throughout courtship, demonstrated qualities such as loyalty, maturity, and trustworthiness among other desirable traits suitable for long term partnership. She is the right kind of girl for that.

    If she’d demonstrate the opposite of those qualities (disloyality, immaturity, untrustworthy etc.,) then you’d know she’s not cut out for that long term shit. Wrong girl for that. You my friend married the wrong kind of girl.

    Or would you still marry a girl that has shown herself to be untrustworthy/immature under the pretense that you can change/tame her?

  28. I’m not big on pretense.

    What makes a chick untrustworthy? Everything has a reason. Understanding the reasons serves a man well, especially later in life if his girl suddenly changes and becomes disloyal and untrustworthy – because these things have reasons.

    Bpd not included….Like batteries.

  29. A follow up to this post might be: “Some Assembly Required.” All girls are “The Wrong Girl” to some degree and all girls require training for them to behave like you want. The training inherently teaches them to accept your frame (i.e., submit).

    You have to gauge each girl to figure out what training she requires. I ran into a buddy last night and he told me about his crazy ex. She had another boyfriend while she was his gf and there was “Let’s you and him fight” drama. Then she stalked him after he didn’t wanna have anything to do with her. This girl probably requires more training than a woman who was trained by her father to study hard in school and stay away from boys. But you have to gauge each girl to see what training she needs.

    You also have to gauge yourself to figure out if you have what it takes to train a girl. Just like martial arts, you need experience in the ring.

  30. Very good, Rollo.

    That biatch , LawyerGirlMiami, evidently is trying to mulch of Andrew Tate’s name and online fame. See how she swings the right and wrong girl concept, in direct violation of ROLLO’S NUMBER ONE RULE, which is There is No one [inserted: right] girl. Nice try, girl ! Better luck next time. [Hint: go take a hike].

    NTS: Anytime you take a “hint” from a woman you fail. (NTS =Note To Self]

    Until next time.

    Your man,

    Max Cantor

  31. Rollo, am I understanding you correctly? This is my attempted interpretation of what you just dropped:

    If reality hurts because you are beta, then how do you deal with this? Denial of reality. Denial of the fact that reality is a mixture of your control/out of your control. This can either be in the form of Black Pill “all nature no nurture”, where you abdicate all responsibility because it’s not your fault, and you therefore feel better about yourself. But it can also take the form of tabula rasa “all nurture no nature”, where any defects you have are the result of society prioritizing the WRONG things rather than the RIGHT things. Therefore, you feel better about yourself because you can deny that there is even such a thing as Alpha/Beta as everything is subjective to the individual, and if only things were more in-line with the correct “morals” (translation: what makes you feel better and suits your interests), then everything would be OK.

    I still don’t understand how “Life sucks? Your fault” is beta though. In the right context (you talking to a Black Piller) it can actually push them in a Red Pill direction.

  32. “What makes a chick untrustworthy?”

    Catching them in lies for one thing

    Her telling someone else, shit you explicitly told her NOT to tell anyone.

    Or straight from The Art of Manipulation:

    “The way to know whether you are dealing with a trustworthy person is by listening to the person tell the same story twice. If a person relates a story differently each time he tells it, you are dealing with an untrustworthy liar. Habitual liars soon get so used to changing stories to fit the purpose at hand that they often forget how they told the story the first time. If a man lies to somebody else, he’ll lie to you. If their code lets them lie to an enemy, they’ll do the same to a “friend” when it will get them something they want. It’s easy to reclassify a friend as an “enemy” when he gets in the way of something you are after.”

    These are just some things that’ll make a man go, “I can’t trust this hoe”.

    As they say,

    “Everything has a reason”.

    Her parents/older siblings were openly dishonest with each other/around her. So being constantly surrounded by that, she in turn developed that bad character trait. Can you change a person who’s been dishonest for most of their life, into an honest and trustworthy person? Maybe. But why not vet for someone who IS trustworthy?

    “especially later in life if his girl suddenly changes and becomes disloyal and untrustworthy – because these things have reasons.”

    Sudden changes in her behavior have a lot more to do with you, than with her.

  33. J

    ” would you still marry a girl that has shown herself to be untrustworthy/immature under the pretense that you can change/tame her?”

    #1 rule for marriage – Have Hand.

    #2 rule – Never Lose It.

  34. J

    “But why not vet for someone who IS trustworthy?”

    Is this an entirely new concept for you?

  35. @Sentient

    “#1 rule for marriage – Have Hand.

    #2 rule – Never Lose It.”

    thank you, captain cliché.

  36. One thing worth saying about women who might be very spirited and feral…Katarina in “The Taming of the Shrew” was a headstrong ballbusting harpy at first, but after being tamed, she went so far as to scold other women publicly for not obeying their husband…women like that will follow you into hell (metaphorically speaking).

    And intelligent women who are trained can be invaluable for helping you complete your projects as well as protecting your offspring when you are on a trip.

    Sometimes a girl who takes a lot of work to train is worth it.

  37. Sometimes all you need as an image, heck just look at her picture, short dress/heels/legs spread out(subconsciously triggering the ready for your cock reflex :))/AR-15 in her hands. It’s an unintentional parody of what the social media red pill has become, a joke really, crazy how some Red Pillers laugh at #ClownWorld yet they themselves imitate it and sometimes do a better job of it.

    These women women are flooding the red pill and making probably good money out of it, the overall twitter red pill movement is done at this point, time to start from the ashes. None of these women claiming they are red pill are actually red pill, real red pill women show you by their actions not their twitter posts.

    Meanwhile Rome continues to burn……….

  38. foxguy
    None of these women claiming they are red pill are actually red pill, real red pill women show you by their actions not their twitter posts do not exist.

    Even the bestest Ride or Die girl is not Red Pill.

    Because they are all girls.

    1. @AR. I agree there is no such thing as a Red Pill woman. It defies logic. A woman can be aware of Red Pill praxeology but she has no real understanding of how it feels because she is not a man. It is just a woman’s way of infiltrating a ‘men only’ club.

      It is like men being feminists. And lord we know there is plenty of blue pill, orbiters who profess to be male feminists. “I want an equal and fair society were men and women are the same and get payed the same”. Oh do you. Or, is that your game? Identyifying with women in the hope of getting laid.

  39. Well Skidmore clocks in at 27 here…

    Underperforming as usual…

    Of course Vassar, Wesleyan, My Holyoke and similar are on here.

    But hey, keep signing up for those Social Science degrees girls…

    [I keed I keed… 100% certain once the Unitary Universalist Women’s Party (Platform – abortion, abortion, male shaming, abortion, free Dildos and Rose, cat suffrage) seizes power all female loans will be forgiven and you will now pay for your STEM and Finance degree along with her Lesbian Studies degree)

  40. “A woman can be aware of Red Pill praxeology but she has no real understanding of how it feels because she is not a man.”

    However, it breaks her covert sexual strategy, making her unfeminine and thus undesirable. Something a lot of Red Pill men looking for “Red Pill” women are going to have to learn the hard way I’m afraid.

    1. @KFG. Indeed. I have never actually met a women who says she is Red Pill aware. I have watched a number of You Tube channels of ‘Red Pill’ women and rolled my eyes at the comments from male orbiters.

      One channel I watched was a ‘Red Pill’ 14 year old girl. How the hell on this god’s green earth does she understand how a man feels when he wants to put a shotgun in his mouth after he has been zeroed out by a woman he loved for 20 years.

      I class the 21 Con ‘men’ as no different from her.

    2. @KFG. A lot of it is down to women feeling the Red Pill is a threat to their empowerment. So, it’s like having a vicious dog. If you can tame it, the dog is then no longer a threat.

  41. Caption Contest

    “TFW you’ve spent six months touting the reddest of RP gatherings in the reddest country on earth and all you got from it was this stupid gif…”

  42. There is a lot more work in taming a feral, intelligent shrew, but when they submit, you can delegate tasks to them and they will accomplish those tasks.

    But you have to have your skills down pat and not too many men do that. Nor do many men train their women, and it shows. If you feel like it’s wrong to train your woman or that you shouldn’t have to train your woman…can you feel the hand of the FI on your shoulder?

  43. Caption Contest

    “Guys… guys… Drink up. This place thinks I can pay for all this stuff… Lol”

  44. Of course Vassar, Wesleyan, My Holyoke and similar are on here.

    I mean heck, you could send your precocious daughter to the exclusive St. John’s College (#5/7 on that list) for ~$220k all-in, where they only study “great works” books with individual “tutors”, and she may very well take that degree and use it to fuck and suck on camera for loser neckbeards everywhere: [NSFW link, folks, just a warning.]

    Hey, I mean at least she read some Plato and stuff, right? Totally worth the cash, no doubt.

  45. Caption Contest

    “So my boomer dad is all like “Anthony you can’t marry a hooker!” Ya believe this fucking guy? Hold my wine pops!”

  46. Rollo has an alien sized skull that holds a massive brain, the beanie makes him look more human.

  47. Dispatch from the Gender War:

    Marvel Studios has announced an upcoming movie featuring the new 5′ 3″ 110 pound Thor with tits.

  48. Yeah, I guess those are technically tits, but there’s nothing super about them…or who they’re attached to.

    From star wars to marvel comics. Next Adam Driver will abandon kylo ren to take up his new role as wonder wom…er…wonder person.

  49. @Rollo: listening to you live with Pat (Crying Game) and something just hit me as you were talking about the Emotional focus of women.

    The rise of “Emotional Intelligence” as a concept is a part of the Feminine Primary social order.

    I remember recently two women (of course) I know were discussing the school system and the lack of focus on “Emotional Intelligence”.
    They agreed that the school system was defective in this respect. The most reasonable of the two was saying they should add some focus on that, whereas the other was implying it should be more of a replacement…

    There was already “New Math”, “Newer Math” will be 1+1=whatever makes you feel best…

  50. @Sentient

    Don’t know how Lenny Kravitz isn’t the first person that comes to mind when you think beanie. It’s his brand for fucks sake 😂

  51. @kfg

    Science fiction / fantasy requires a suspension of disbelief.

    Neta-Lee Hershlag is almost 40 years old…some special suspension will obviously be required. Or a body double. Or both.

    Clearly we are not at “peak stuporhero movie” yet. Yawn.

    Of course, for a lot of boys entombed in the K – 12 machine, comic books used to be a way to distract out of the tedium. Can’t have that…

    1. Why is it Tim Pool can wear the same beanie in every video he’s ever done for years and it’s ‘just his thing’, but Rollo Tomassi ‘has cancer’ if he wears one?

      Once my hair gets to rocker length you’re all gonna be so jealous. 😏

  52. @kfg

    Dispatch from the Gender War:

    Marvel Studios has announced an upcoming movie featuring the new 5′ 3″ 110 pound Thor with tits.

    and is the new Mjölnir going to be a curling iron?…lol

    good luck!

  53. ” . . . they had made Thor female in the comics.”

    Indeed they did, but they didn’t make her a Shrinky Dink.

  54. kfg
    Shrinky Dink

    5 ‘ 3 ” tall, 110 pounds (7.8 stone)
    1.6 meters, 50 kilos

    Gonna need the camera operators from “Lord of the Rings” to make this hobbit look big.

  55. @Rollo

    Tim’s skull is just shaped that way, you bully. YOU on the other hand should have laid off the radioactive whiskey.

  56. A person is responsible for their own decisions but those decisions don’t get made in a vacuum.

  57. Just goes to show you how important screening is when your looking for a girl with long-term dating potential. Its getting harder and harder these days in the west unfortunately.

  58. It’s just social Darwinism, part 2. Skills/character/frame/whatever failings on YOUR part are why you aren’t having success…but send me $129.99 down and $29.99 a month, and you can improve your skills/character/frame/whatever. Multilevel marketing at it’s “finest.”

    Whatever is best for “her” benefit is the RIGHT solution. Run, run quickly from the hucksters.

  59. I’d like to only comment on the aspect of “Success Porn.” I think you only just touched on the subject. It is this humble dude’s opinion that social media is now about a person’s constant progression up. Bigger, Better, Badder, Awesomeness of achieving one’s supposed goals. Even sitting around the house is elevated to a level of profound self accomplishment. In a recent conversation with a woman I was asked “so what are working on now?” I replied, “The usual.” The conversation then devolved into her pushing the idea that a person standing still is a failure. To which I replied the definition of a ‘failure’ is the lack of required action. Not always achieving or succeeding. Needless to say; that she dismissed it outright for her definition which we all know as the Hypergamous nature. My take away is that my past achievements are not enough anymore. she likes me. So now that I am in her social circles she needs to see new achievements from me that she can potentially claim as hers or her new male’s successes she is interested in.

  60. “Its getting harder and harder these days in the west unfortunately.”

    Boys, it has always been hard to find a girl suitable for a LTR. That’s why The Bard wrote “The Taming of the Shrew” back in the sixteenth century so that men would know that they needed to be able to train girls for a LTR.

  61. Dr Banner

    In addition to hypergamy, do not forget solipsism of the “what have you done lately that interests ME.

    Please consider this educational vid, it is a bit dated but the message is still current.

  62. If this isn’t the genesis of this post, it certainly could have been…

    As soon as I heard that Rollo had been booted from the Red Man Group, I downloaded some available episodes–thinking they may not be available much longer and maybe there was some additional value I would be missing, especially in light of diminishing TRM commentary.

    I downloaded the audio for Red Man Group Episode 17. The episode was dominated by George Bruno. He has a wonderful radio voice. He is clearly the most polished in terms of presentation and exudes confidence. As I listen, I realize–he’s talking shit. He’s even contradicting himself and nobody is challenging him. He’s AMOGing the group and other commentators are agreeing and amplifying his sentiments.

    He talks about how he spent hours postmorteming his failed marriage. Basically, he says that it wasn’t his fault. Then, he talks about taking “extreme ownership at all costs, period”, never being a victim, not allowing others to blame shift, and how he’s been a therapist for 22 years. It reminded me of the Seinfeld quote, something like, “He’s a complete idiot, but you have to admire the strength of his convictions.”

  63. Women and FI-approved white knights would vote against training women. They couldn’t argue against it, but they’d vote against it.

    Of course, the wisdom from the Old Books made it clear that all women require training–not just the obvious shrews.

  64. Rollo:

    I’m not sure what you’re getting at here. I do understand the “well, your relationships suck because you just keep picking the wrong women” or “you chose poorly”.

    Giggles used to say this after she broke with the manosphere and started HUS 3.0. “All those guys licking their relationships wounds. They just picked the wrong women.” “You chose poorly.” It rang false then and it still rings false. There’s a lot more to it than just “you chose poorly”.

  65. @theasdgamer

    Men being potentially and originally more violent than women, everybody requires some training if a society is to evolve into civilization, or upkeep what it has civilizationally achieved.

    Men were trained from an older time, and more strictly, than were women for that very reason.

    They are still being trained, the women in an anti-civilization way, the men to blame themselves, co-operate to civilizational sinking or at least idly behold it.

    The trainers, and training designers, are naturally those with the most power in a society.

    Little observation is taken to see at what speed, and in what direction, women behaviour has changed on dating sites and the like.
    When you endlessly program a demographic to the effect that they understand being mean and aggressive to men is a point of personal worth, you are going to have all the ones with little self-esteem (most women in other words) work hard to be mean, aggressive, and even more than being so make a display of being so.

    Just the first input is needed, thereafter the loop will feed itself thanks to women living in a sort of all-including reality show and the deep-level drive to mimick whatever looks the majority is doing.

    So you flood the culture with media showing women at their worst as if that’s the normal, and proof of value, and people begin trying to act like that thinking it’s needed to be both normal and cool.
    The rest unfolds as expected.

    We all need training, what makes the difference is the purposes of the trainers… if constructive or disruptive.

  66. “Men being potentially and originally more violent than women,”

    Feel the hand of the FI on your shoulder?

    “We all need training, what makes the difference is the purposes of the trainers… if constructive or disruptive.”

    Tactics of distraction…I bet you’re socialist.

  67. Rollo, we may hope to get some metaphysical idea about “objective truth”, but we can only come at it subjectively. The postmodernists were quite correct about that.

    It is very difficult to screen out our subjective viewpoints. I think that it can be done if we are careful and look for corroboration from other observers and test thoroughly.

  68. One of the things I think illustrates something of what Rollo is getting at here would be being mugged. If you go into the wrong section of town and get robbed, it is your fault in that you went into the bad section of town. However, you are still the victim of a crime. Someone acted on you. Someone did something to you.

    It is similar in playing a game of chess or backgammon or a sport or something. You aren’t the only one playing. You aren’t the only actor in the situation. You might have chosen the statistically correct pip to leave your blot on. But it isn’t your “fault” the dice roll came up to send your checker to the bar and eventually losing you the game. You didn’t “let” that happen.

    One of the ways to be a sore loser is failing to acknowledge your opponent’s skill. One of the ways to be a bad winner is failing to acknowledge the random things that went your way.

    To mix my metaphors: There’s missing the kick. There’s someone blocking the kick. And there’s someone moving the goal. You’d better know which is which or you’ll spend time on the wrong solution.

    Somewhere in all this I thought I had a point. Frankly, I’ve been trying sporadically to sort this one out for years.

  69. Sentient

    Lol. Good Point. After the Mastodon meat is gone I pride myself on letting nothing go to waste. I have tusks, the hide, the bones, and that sense of accomplishment smirked across my face.

    The modern me has a house (paid off) a car (albeit modest paid for) and surplus resources. Oh and there is the education levels achieved.

    All said your point is true and succinct. Sometimes getting caught up in the refinements of modern life one can forget the primal brain. She may find me adorned with necklaces made of saber tooth lion’s teeth. Lounging on numerous mammoth pelts in front of a raging fire; tending to my myriad of spears and hunting weaponry and still think that this my baseline state. And wonder if this is all there is? Never thinking that if he got here he could and will stay here at this level of success.

    And women wonder why men sometimes feel compelled to make stuff up?

    Thanks gents facts staring me in the face and I wasn’t looking.

  70. Rudolph has it right. The biggest problem I see in the Success Porn sphere is that it’s overly dependent on the idea that the solution to any problem is internal. It’s convenient to say “you must accept that you are the source of all your problems and you need to own your faults” because external problems require a much bigger investment in the solution than internal problems. If the onus of problem solving is on the individual then all the Success Porn guru need do is point out the problem and leave it to the individual to solve it.

    They can give you some ideas for ‘mindfulness’ or self-awareness, or some simplistic list of 12 rules to follow, but in the end they leave you to figure yourself out and move on to the next guy who needs to accept responsibility for his problems. There’s nothing substantive. It’s like saying your prayers didn’t manifest because you didn’t pray hard enough or you lacked faith. Only in this case it’s faith in yourself. It’s really a secular religion.

    Now of course the autistic binary retorts will follow: “So what you’re saying Rollo is that we should shift ALL blame to the external?!!”

    No, of course not, but if you’re following a ‘thought leader’ whose only solution for ANY person’s problems “you just need to own it man”, you might want to apply some more critical thought to why you sought out their counsel in the first place.

  71. Rollo
    If the onus of problem solving is on the individual then all the Success Porn guru need do is point out the problem and leave it to the individual to solve it.

    It’s a great way to ensure repeat customers, and build up a supply of regular clients.

  72. @Rollo

    Excellent article, and it highlights the main problem for men today: how to accept responsibility for your life, while simultaneously understanding that many (or most) of the problems you’re facing in your life right now are not your fault.

    It’s a tightrope. Lose your balance and fall to the left? Victim mentality. Fall to the right? Self-effacing and Self-deprecation, i.e. ‘beating the shit out of yourself.’ The true path is narrow.

    What many men in the ‘sphere forget is that trees grow silently and slowly. Blue Pill men can be thought of like mustard seeds, and TRP provokes them into growth. In an ideal situation, anyway. The Biblical parable of the Sower is very appropriate here. How a person receives the message of TRP, and holds it in their heart and mind, will be the soil for the seed to grow or die in.

    The Black Pill and the Purple Pill are like the seeds that tried to grow in rocky soil, or soil laced with thorns. It isn’t that the seed couldn’t grow into a tree. The soil was simply infertile. We must be very careful how we think of TRP and not get caught in illusions.

    N Count, business success, etc., are no better to put on a pedestal than a Lambo or any other material object. They are just a couple manifestations out of infinite possible manifestations of true Red Pill awareness. They are not the metric of RP awareness itself. Many men in the ‘sphere make the mistake of worshiping these “idols” as if they are TRP itself, and if a man doesn’t have visibly wild success, then he is “Not truly RP.”

    I used to be suicidal over my situation, for example. Being suicidal is not a material object. I can’t put 5lbs of Suicidal into your hands for you to hold. And yet the absence of suicidal thoughts signifies an absolute shift in perspective. The changes I’ve experienced from TRP have been like a sprouting seed: slow and silent. On the outside, it appears not much has changed. But inside my heart and mind the changes have been absolutely tremendous. It’s taken at least several years for these changes to truly take root and start to grow.

    Mental Point of Origin. We hear this a lot in the ‘sphere. What it means is the heart of what this article is getting at: accepting responsibility for things you’re truly responsible for, while simultaneously understanding that many (or most) of the problems you’re facing in your life right now are not your fault.

    Having compassion for yourself without being enabling. Acknowledging injustices you’ve faced without adopting a Victim mentality. Tightrope. Narrow path. Very easy to fall off to the left, or to the right.

    We must be careful not to turn TRP into the Blue Pill 2.0. The pressure to get married, the shame for staying single, the guilt/shame for not complying with the FI —

    — it’s just as bad to apply this pressure, guilt and shame, to ourselves or to others, in regards to N count, business success, or anything else. The result will only be men feeling completely ostracized and isolated; no longer fitting in with the Blue Pill crowd, but not fitting in with the “Red Pill” crowd either.

    The more I continue on my journey of transformation, the less I care about women and even thinking about them at all in any capacity. Or anyone else for that matter. I am much more interested in my own state of mind. What I am doing within myself, what emotions I’m experiencing, and what control I can exert over that, and how. What actions I am taking on a daily basis. Becoming more comfortable in my own skin, practicing new skills and abilities like a child learning the limits of his body.

    It’s been enjoyable for me lately just living a solitary lifestyle and observing my own thoughts and feelings every day, and learning, slowly, to consciously direct my thoughts in a chosen direction, instead of them running on auto-pilot. Every day I practice this skill, along with others, and continue to improve at it. It’s only possible because of TRM giving me clarity and peace of mind — true understanding where there was none before.

    All this is not to be confused with Success Porn.

    Peace of mind does not mean that you will feel good all the time. It also doesn’t mean you’ll magically get what you want. It simply means having clarity. Being able to enjoy your own company. Being able to like yourself and sit with yourself without going crazy. Acknowledging your shortcomings and limitations and your level of willingness to change them — or not.

    What separates this from the cheesy bumper stickers about “mindfulness” is that it’s specific to a man’s understanding of intergender dynamics. I think that specifically is a huge source of distress for most men. Having peace of mind about women and sex in general, which comes from a clear understanding of both, is tremendously powerful for men.

    The message about self-acceptance and mental point of origin may be the same as it is in “Success Porn”; the difference is with TRP, it’s targeted. Specific. Real. Not some pie-in-the-sky platitude generically applied to anyone and everyone. It addresses the very politically incorrect reality that many men are specifically lost and confused about sex and women, and the role they play (or don’t play) in their lives.

    Anyway, enough for now. Again: great article. Fantastic read. I’m going to go back and re-read it again. I really like these latest writings from you, Rollo. I am liking the shift to focusing more on men, specifically, and the troubled mindsets we deal with — and how to ease them with TRP. Very nice change of pace.

  73. Finding fault is a waste of time. In the end, you’re probably the only person who can solve your problems. Whether someone else downloaded a mental program into your brain that weakens you is really irrelevant. You have to unload the program yourself.

    Of course, it helps to have folks like Rollo who can help us understand those hostile mental programs.

    If you go into a high-crime area and get mugged, blaming the mugger isn’t gonna get your stuff back. If you don’t wanna lose your stuff, either you avoid high-crime areas or you defeat the muggers.

    Red Pill is a Praxeology–not a fault-finding mission.

Speak your mind

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