Red Pill 101 – Ep. 6: The “Rules”

Do you feel like you’re playing by by one set of rules while everyone around you seems to be playing by another? Do all the women you interact with seem to have a restrictive set of hoops for you to jump through in order to qualify for their intimacy while they eagerly break their own rules for a different type of guy? Do the married guys you know still cling to their wives rules like their sex live depend on it?

The rules that a woman creates for a man she perceives as Beta carry over into that man’s LTR and marriage. A marriage/LTR usually retains whomever’s Frame that relationship had when the couple first became intimate. A lot of Beta men (and even some well-meaning Red Pill men) carry over this need for female (their Mother’s) approval into their relationships, proudly integrating their personal beliefs into how well they satisfy a woman’s rules and plans for his own life.

Are the ‘old set of books’ social agenda really the same set of personal rules women have for their own approval for Beta men?

Pat and I will discuss these issues and how to help men avoid the most common problems that lead to dead-end and damaging relationships for men.

Bonus: Why ‘Promise Keepers’ issues are really mommy-issues not daddy-issues.

Relevant Links:

Promise Keepers

Men in Love

The Second Set of Books

Blue Pill Frame

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

12 comments on “Red Pill 101 – Ep. 6: The “Rules”

  1. Tell. Show. Do. Rinse. Repeat.

    The video was not tiresome and actually chocked full of insights that for some folks, may have been redundant, however……I’m glad that it went out to the general, not-self-selected, public, without filters. The praexology and RP “toolbox”, I hope, is reaching a wider audience. Thanks for this.

  2. Red Pill while dating, Blue Pill whe in at LTR – this is a very fascinating topic.
    This is exactly what happened to me when I got married, alpha mindset for most of my life, 150 plus notch count, started dating my wife to be an self abosrobed Alpha, then got married.

    And for some dumb ass reason I said to myself i will stop rocking the boat, be a ‘good man’ and make the marriage a success. Except that it wasnt, I became a beta, my wife lost respect and missed the alpha she signed up for. We divorced a few years later.

    It would be great if there could be a dedicated thread on this topic, as I have a feeling a lot of guys face this issue, the switch from alpha to beta. And more importantly how to maintain an alpha midset while in an LTR or marriage.

    We often assume that guys are born or shaped into betas early in life, but theres a number who can be genuine alphas while single, and betas in relationship – lets explore this topic a bit more.

  3. Rudd

    I said to myself i will stop rocking the boat, be a ‘good man’ and make the marriage a success.

    familiar trajectory… Influence of “The Golden Rule” [do unto others what you would like them to do unto you] and a residual beta kernel of “earning” it… = Blue Pill.

    Whereas Alpha is the Platinum Rule [do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it]…

    It would be great if there could be a dedicated thread on this topic, as I have a feeling a lot of guys face this issue, the switch from alpha to beta. And more importantly how to maintain an alpha midset while in an LTR or marriage.

    Well Field Reports is a dedicated thread. There are plenty of married and LTR field reports… You can post there and the dynamic will be dissected.

    Post away…

  4. @Rudd

    “It would be great if there could be a dedicated thread on this topic, as I have a feeling a lot of guys face this issue, the switch from alpha to beta. And more importantly how to maintain an alpha midset while in an LTR or marriage.”

    What you are asking about was detailed in an excerpt from Practical Female Psychology by J. South and Franco.

    Women manipulate men for their benefit and the benefit of their future children. It is part of their evolutionary firmware. It is normal for them to do this.

    It was just that you had no idea that this was going on. You were unaware. Ignorant of the process. Shit testing is process. Seeking communication is process (show me your cards, mister). Putting him to work is process. It is normal. When you don’t understand the process, it might lead to failure.

    I think Rollo got the links working from former comments.

    If this link doesn’t work, just google search “[Theory]: The Beta-ization process: Stages of female manipulation and levels of attraction from “Practical Female Psychology””

    My comment starting with this should come up:

    @Dutchman and Roused

    Since Rollo put up a new post I’m going to reiterate a cut-and-paste that I put up before from Joseph W. South’s “Practical Female Psychology”.

  5. I like seeing your videos imbedded here. Mainly because at work they block youtube and other video hosts but not imbedded video. Win.

    Also some guys relate better to video than audio alone or written word.

  6. @Rollo

    Tweet from December 4, 12:42:

    “It’s scary to reconsider popular music lyrics from past decades with a Red Pill lens. It’s scary because you realize just how BP conditioned the songwriters were. Then you realize their songs helped condition future generations and no one could see it happening.”

    I would love to see you write an essay on the red pill and media. The red pill has pretty much destroyed my enjoyment of 90% of all movies and music.

  7. @Sigma

    It’s not just recent music, even older material, eg B.B. King Sweet Little Angel relased1956!
    2nd verse sounds RP:
    I asked my baby for a nickel And she gave me a $20 bill
    Whoah, you know I ask her to buy a little drink of liquor And she gave me a whiskey still
    But 3rd verse is Blue Pill:
    Oh if my baby should quit me Lord I do believe I would die
    Yes if you don’t love me little angel Please tell me the reason why

    -And that was pre 60s! reflects the idealized love men have for women

    IMO the best Red Pill song is….
    Bob Dylan It Ain’t Me Babe (1964)

  8. The endless fucked up looser do loop:


    Step 1) You respect what you think other people think of you more than you respect what you think of yourself.

    Step 2) You figure out that step 1 causes other people to respect you less than you would like to be respected by other people.

    Step 3) You respect yourself more hoping to receive more respect from others.

    Step 4) Others see that you respect yourself more hoping to gain more respect from them.

    Step 5) Others respect you less because of steps 2 and 4.

    Step 6) Go back to START.

    In the meantime, go fuck yourself.

    Another example:


    Step 1) You aren’t getting the pussy you want.

    Step 2) You figure out you need your own frame to get the pussy you want because women give pussy to men who have their own frame.

    Step 3) You figure out the feminine frame and its perspectives experiencing hypergamy, alpha – beta, SMV, etc.

    Step 4) You create your own frame because having your own frame meets the pussy approval of the feminine frame.

    Step 5) Women give you less pussy because you created your frame based on their frame, see steps 2 and 4.

    Step 6) go back to START

    In the meantime, beat your dick like it owes you money while watching porn.

    Consider step 3 in the second example. “You figure out the feminine frame and its perspectives experiencing hypergamy, alpha – beta, SMV, etc.”

    Who gives a shit what they are experiencing? Do you want to experience life as a woman? Do you care about what YOU experience?

  9. NBTM, figuring out the feminine sexual dynamic in order to manage women doesn’t make you weak. You can impose your own frame regardless, if you are strong enough. Strength is masculine.

    Of course, if you are trying to fake it and fit in the feminine frame because your own frame is too weak, you will have trouble.

    A man has to figure out strength, courage, and what it is for him to be a man in order to have a true inner frame that has some chance of passing women’s tests.

    Gamer Maxim: Pussy is just pussy.

  10. But most men Never figure out the ” female sexual dynamic ” to any great degree.

    NBTM is correct about ” frame “. Figuring out women does not mean you’re supposed to act like them. Men would be better served establishing their own Frame/MPoO without input from ANYONE else FIRST. Then you can tweak and adjust to a degree so that you can relate to and get along with a wider variety of people.

    But men don’t do that much either.

    Social media, talking and texting on phones for hours a day – daily, eschewing health/sports participation/ using your hands for something else other than…., not thinking/expanding knowledge – This is the realm of the average female, not men. Men are different , or are supposed to be.

    Lately when I’m stuck at work around men talking about the latest iPhone release, I’ve taken to leaving the room. Not because I hate iPhones, but this conversation happens often, especially when there’s a ” new ” release. And it’s not because I’m anti-tech, but ” Tech ” never involves using your thumbs.

    Take note the next time you’re out driving around ( most younger men don’t drive or own a car. They are Uber ninjas..) how many people are walking around talking, texting, or just staring at their phones. Now, how many of them are men? Equal ratio? Close?

    Of course, if you are trying to fake it and fit in the feminine frame because your own frame is too weak, you will have trouble.

    And the men today are mostly beset on all sides by trouble with women. Society is geared towards women ( I won’t say ” feminine ” because it ain’t even about that anymore – just women ) and most things masculine are being demonized daily. So frames are made of duct tape and bailing wire.

    A man has to figure out strength, courage, and what it is for him to be a man in order to have a true inner frame that has some chance of passing women’s tests.

    Where are they supposed to turn to see examples of this?

    Warning: TL;DR story ahead. Feel free to scroll the fuck past it, lol. I had a hankering to share a story, and I haven’t done so here for years because a ” commenter ” used to get highly dubious about it.

    Years and years ago, I was at a wedding reception where the spirits flowed freely. I was approached by a young man, 25-30 years old who had emptied the bar into his throat evidently. He approached me and said he knew me. I told him he was mistaken, then his sober partner who was bigger, more muscular, covered in tats ( face included ) stepped up calling me an old bitch ( lolm even I laughed at that one. It was funny and I’d never been called that before ). Then he said he was gonna beat the black off of me . I was like ” wut?”, and I told him he was very disrespectful for an illustrated man. The groom left his bride and walked over and told me ” I’m glad there will be no fighting on my wedding day “. Mr. Tats said ” Nah, we fin to scrap right now ” Lmao. Groom told him ” nope, this will end so fast we won’t even remember it happened “.

    So I put my hands up, and tell the guy I don’t want to fight. He refuses to entertain the idea. I ask him if we can at least go outside. He didn’t answer, he just charged me. Lol, I don’t wrestle/mma with anybody, so I backed up and he kept coming. I really didn’t want to fight at the reception, so he had to go to sleep. The oldest trick in the book, gut shot – he bends over, right to the side of his head – that shit is better than melatonin.

    The crowd burst into laughter. I apologized to everyone and went back to my table. The guy was carried out to a couch in the hallway.

    After about 15 minutes, I went out to check on the guy. I didn’t hit him very hard, but still, I wanted to make sure he was okay. I tapped him on his temple and I’m sure his head hurt. He was sitting on the couch now. So I ask him ” you okay?”, and he staggered to his feet angry. ” you really want to keep down this road?” I asked. Then I noticed his eyes were watery and red. ” I’m going to get my nina ( gun )” he sniffled. So I told him to sit down before I knocked his ass back out.

    I tried to talk to him, but now his angry responses were like every angry girl you’ve ever tried to talk to. Then he yelled like he was in anguish. Wtf?

    Him: Nobody does that shit to me.

    Me: You should’ve learned to fight instead of going to the tattoo parlor.

    Him: Yeah well, you better watch your back, that’s all I know.

    Me: Why? What’s gonna happen?

    he makes a gun sign with his hand *

    Me: You gonna shoot me? For real? And you’re telling me this….why?

    Him: Cause I want you to know who shot ya.

    Me: Are you certain about this?

    Him: You good as dead.

    Me: So what’s to stop me from just beating you to death right now? So I won’t have to keep looking over my shoulder straining my neck all the time?

    silence *

    Me: You know, because you can’t fight at all….

    silence *

    Me: And you like to start shit….

    silence *

    Me: And you’re softer than ice cream on a 90 degree day….

    My wife came out into the hall and asked me if everything is okay. I tell her everything is good and she leaves. I turn to the crying man and ask him ” so what are we supposed to do here? Evidently you can’t just take an ass whipping and go home without looking for something much worse “. My Vin Diesel look alike bro in-law comes out and asks if there’s a problem. So I tell him, ” It’s been nice knowing you, Tat Man says he’s gonna end me “. So bro in-law says ” Then why is he crying? Let’s fuck him up “.

    Him: I got friends too

    Bro in-law: I’m not his friend. I’m his fam. I’m that dude, the one that would help him dispose of a body.

    Me: Hmmm… I’m not sure what I should do here…

    Bro in-law: Well, I’m going to open my trunk in the meantime and have a smoke. Bring him if you want.

    The groom comes out into the hall.

    Groom: Okay, what’s this now?

    Me: He’s very upset. Homicidally upset.

    Groom: Who’s he gonna kill?

    Me: I guess that would be me.

    Groom: How’s he gonna find you?

    Me: We haven’t worked that part out yet.

    Groom: Because you beat him up?

    Me: Technically I didn’t beat him up. I punched him twice. I didn’t even break the skin on my knuckles.

    Him: That was a lucky shot.

    Groom: Lol, you wanna try it again?

    Me: He’s hurt, deep down inside.

    Groom: His feelings?

    Me: Yeah, I think so. I must have punched him in his feelings.

    Groom: Or his pussy.

    Him: Lol.

    Me: What!!??? did you just laugh?

    Him: sigh, man… I don’t know.

    Groom: Come have cake. Leave him, nobody invited him anyway.

    Me: Is that right? You’re the sensitive, angry wedding crasher?

    Bro in-law: You still talking to him? Look, either let him blow you or cut him loose.

    Him: I shouldn’t have came here. My head has been fucked up all week.

    Me: Fucked up how?

    Him: I’m going crazy.

    Me: Good thing you’re telling me this before you wound up in the trunk.

    Him: I know I was wrong. I got so much pressure.

    Me: Tell me the top 5 things that are giving you pressure.

    Him” Like you give a fuck.

    Me: If I didn’t, you’d be locked in the trunk and I’d be eating wedding cake.

    So we talked. He told me shit that gave me chills and upset my stomach a little. The aftermath of the rotten shit he’d gone through resulted in his being terrified and anxious all the time. And check this out – the pain of getting tattoos took his mind off of his problems momentarily. He didn’t even like them! ! !

    After about 30 minutes, I actually began to understand what was going on in his head. He just blew up. Everything came to a head, and I was the unfortunate target.

    He asked me when he was finished, what I thought he should do. I told him to definitely don’t challenge anyone to fight. He had a gf and a baby that he knows isn’t his, but he signed the birth certificate. He smoked lots of pot and played video games most days, the people he thought were his friends all laugh at him about the child he’s taking care of that’s not his.

    All I could tell him was that he had to concentrate on himself. Block everything else out. Leave the pot alone…for now. He wanted specifics. I told him to put himself on a schedule and don’t break it. Get up early in the morning and walk as far as he can. Keep walking. Rain, snow, hurricane, doesn’t matter. Walk. No music. Breathe. And every thought that pops up, practice pushing it back down. Count backwards from 100 to 1. Concentrate on the count. Do 100 situps and 100 pushups every day. Do as many as you can until you’re exhausted and keep doing it until you can do 100 of each. Keep giving money to babymomma to stave of the state, because your signature will fuck you – even with a dna test. Long term bad choice. Use condoms.

    But what he didn’t want to hear, was when I told him to call a mental health facility and get help.So I told him the next time he feels like he’s starting to crack, call them then instead of going out looking for someone else to take it out on.

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