The Marriage Game

As a few of my readers know my daughter is presently a sophomore at college. Every time she reaches a new milestone in her life I have a tendency to mentally go back in time in my own life and consider how utterly different her experiences are in comparison to my own. At 19 the thought of being as organized and honestly well off as she is in life now would never have occurred to me. For a very brief moment in my life back then I’d kept a journal of what it was I was doing and thinking at the time. My first ‘real’ girlfriend had given me this blank journal (she was one of those girls who wrote diaries) to write my thoughts in and being the Beta I was then most of it was filled with my Blue Pill frustration with girls. She’d gifted me this journal, I found out later, as an effort to absolve her of all the guilt she knew was coming her way for having cheated on me and deciding that, at 18 herself, she wanted to move on into her Party Years without the baggage of a dutiful Beta who thought he was going to marry her.

This was 1988 and the then 19 year old Rollo Tomassi was very much a typical Blue Pill Beta. I sometimes read back through the dozen or so pages I actually took the time to write back then to remind myself how I thought back then. I was very much and idealistic Beta back then, but I had several other friends who subscribed to the same Blue Pill delusions; and now with hindsight I realize this phase in a Beta’s life is one that was around long before and long after I went through it. This was the ‘Break Phase’ I outline in Preventive Medicine.

As it turned out, the girl who I predictably developed ONEitis for, the first girl to spread her legs for me (‘enthusiastically’), the girl I thought had to be “quality” if she appreciated a guy like me, was every bit the ‘play the field’ skank I would’ve never called her because it was what a “typical male” would say about her. At one point I had thought I’d want to marry her. My Blue Pill conditioning had taught me it would be the right, “supportive” thing to do; marry her and support her ambitions and goals (it’s what good Blue Pill boys ought to do) at the sacrifice of my own. And as directionless as I was then, that was an easy decision to make.

My daughter recently informed me that her boyfriend’s best friend just proposed to his girlfriend at 19. Both this guy and his girlfriend are also sophomores at the same school and this is what triggered the reminiscing for me. At 49, and having lived the life I have and the experiences I use on this blog today, I’m very glad my first girlfriend dumped me. That’s hard to say sometimes, particularly when I think back on the pit of misery years I spent with the BPD girlfriend I’d gotten involved with later, but I’m thankful for those bad experiences as much as the good ones. So, it’s really difficult for me to tell my daughter’s friend “oh, congratulations”.

It’s very difficult for me to endorse anyone getting married at so early an age these days or when I was 19. Modern marriage is a menagerie of horrors for today’s men. People say, “Rollo you’re married, how come you’re so hard on marriage?” It’s either that or they presume my marriage is a shit show and I’m venting like a petulant boy. When I’m critical of marriage it’s in spite of my own (very happy for 21 years) marriage. But I cannot condone it for men today – not in its present state. Hardline MGTOWs and PUAs agree on one thing, if you ever consider marriage you’re Blue Pill. I’ve written in many prior posts that I don’t necessarily agree with that assessment, but I do understand it. The risks today far outweigh the rewards, but still there are men who, even with Red Pill awareness, will still take it on.

There’s a running debate I have going on with Hunter Drew (The Family Alpha) and Tanner Guzy (Masculine Style) about how marriage is a lifestyle decision, and depending on how informed a man is about the risks he assumes and when he decides to get married, this decision is literally a question of life or death for that guy. Both these guys married early in life, both have kids, and both will have far different experiences than myself in this respect. Both of them and myself have assumed the risks and sacrifices this entails. I’m fully aware that my wife can detonate the marriage at any time. I’m sure both Hunter and Tanner are well aware that their wives also have the right to have them removed from their home and take their children away from them for any reason. But we’re all married, and as I wrote in Surrender, we have all willingly put ourselves in the most vulnerable position a man can be in; we’ve bet our lives, livelihoods and the future health and happiness of our kids and families on what today is the ultimate suckers bet for a man. And what’s worse, we cannot ever expect women or our wives to ever relate with just how dangerous a position we willingly put ourselves in.

So I’m thinking about all of this after my daughter tells me about this 19 year old kid proposing to his girlfriend. Statistically his marriage will end before he’s 28. I would also bet that, like myself at 19, he’s making a decision that will affect him and his fiancé’s based on Blue Pill idealism – an idealism that’s informed by the Feminine Imperative and delusions of egalitarian equalism. Naturally I can’t possibly think this is a good idea. If I were this boy’s father I’d strongly advise against it, but there are others in the manosphere who would encourage this.

“Grown” Men

There’s an old saying that goes “marriage is our last, best chance for growing up”. I also disagree with this from the perspective of today’s version of marriage, but I understand how homey platitudes like this are appealing to a social order of men who it seems don’t want to grow up. It’s becoming a new way of AMOGing (particularly in religious circles); if you’ve got your shit together enough to see the wisdom in being married and starting a family you’re a “better man” than the ‘boys’ who they believe want to extend their adolescence. It’s really nothing new.

According to strategic pluralism theory (Gangestad & Simpson, 2000), men have evolved to pursue reproductive strategies that are contingent on their value on the mating market. More attractive men accrue reproductive benefits from spending more time seeking multiple mating partners and relatively less time investing in offspring. In contrast, the reproductive effort of less attractive men, who do not have the same mating opportunities, is better allocated to investing heavily in their mates and offspring and spending relatively less time seeking additional mates.

This is one half of strategic pluralism theory for men. Men who invest themselves in the long term aspect will always look for ways to validate their inability or unwillingness to pursue multiple partners. It’s easy to think that these men make their necessity a virtue, and that may or may not be the case, but what’s undeniable is that investing themselves in a one-mate strategy necessarily selects them out of experiences with women that would otherwise aid them in vetting a woman as a good long term prospect. The Blue Pill has always subjugated men to be predisposed to the one-mate investment strategy while simultaneously encouraging women to adopt a multiple mate strategy. That may seem counterintuitive, but when we look at the Sheryl Sandberg plan for Hypergamy we can see that what they believe is prudence is having a large selection of potential husbands from which to choose.

In Trad-Con manosphere thinking it seems like conventional wisdom to encourage men and women to marry younger. Look at where we’re at today; women forestall marriage – ostensibly to further a career, but really to falsely extend their Hypergamous decision making years – until their Epiphany Phase (29-31) or even beyond by freezing their eggs. Men take much more time to mature into their peak SMV potential, but what’s the common complaint? These men aren’t “being men” by preparing themselves for a life of family and marriage. They aren’t catering their lives’ decisions to fulfill women’s sexual strategy, and really what incentive do they have to when women are following the Sandbergian path of Hypergamy? Men and women marry later and later – if at all. Women unmarried by the time they’re 34-35 are likely to never marry in their lives.

Marrying Early

So it seems like wisdom to tell this kid, “good on you”, in spite of all the odds staked against him and despite the Blue Pill idealistic delusions that are prompting him to propose. Trad-Cons love the idea of a return to something resembling “traditional values” in order to save western culture from itself, but it’s important to remember that those old books values are really just leverage in a new books world.

Marrying early, as I said, is usually the result of Blue Pill naiveté. Both young men and women are still ignorant of who they are or who they have a potential to become. I see a lot of early-marrieds originating in religious circles because this is their only means to “legitimate” sex, but there are the guys who see marrying early a better way to ensure ‘permanent’ sex for themselves. In some respects it’s almost a blessing that women at this age are so anti-marriage – most young men on the investment side of strategic pluralism are far too willing to kill their own dreams to accommodate their investment.

Marriages that begin between 20-24 are almost 39% more likely to end in divorce. A lot of this, I speculate, is due to women feeling like they need to make up for missing out. The idealism of young Blue Pill men marrying early has one big obstacle and that’s the influence of Hypergamy on their wives. In Preventive Medicine I made the case that no matter the woman’s choices she makes or has made for her in life, it will not negate Hypergamy’s influence on her. Yes, that influence can be mitigated culturally (laughable in western societies) or personally, but it doesn’t remove the evolved influence. By the time that 20 year old mother and wife is 30, she’s had ten years to develop the resentment of her choice by living vicariously through her single girlfriends’ experiences. The context may change, but Hypergamy doesn’t.

Early marriage limits a man’s potential. Trad-Cons will fight me on this one, but the responsibilities of marriage and parenting will necessarily limit a man from opportunities he would otherwise have were he single. Aristotle said, “The Ideal age for marriage in men is 35. The Ideal age for marriage in women is 18”, not unlike my sexual market value graph, but the reason for this is because it takes much longer for a man to establish himself as a man. The simple truth is that part of the sacrifice of being married means a man will not be able to capitalize on opportunities he would have were he single. Some opportunities may never even be made available to him because of him being married. This isn’t something most early-marrying men consider.

Men who marry early and stick it out through their peak SMV years often feel the mid-life crisis (epiphany) years much more acutely. This is kind of the man’s making up for missing out resentment a wife may feel as she becomes more and more aware that she can’t compete in the SMP for a better Hypergamous prospect. I don’t believe men have a “crisis” per se around this time, but what they do experience is a sense of introspection that’s colored by their now better capacity to understand the game they’ve been a part of with regards to women. When a man’s married well this is less of an issue, but there is a definite remorse over the “life he could’ve lived” if only he’d known better. This is an assessment of the sacrifices he’s made, how they paid off (if at all) and a sort of survey of his life up to that point.

The biggest ‘con’ to early marriage is that it’s always going to be a learn as you go prospect while trying to establish a world that a his wife of the future will want to defer herself to. This worked far better in a culture and time when women would be compelled to defer to a man’s mastery due to religion, social norms and respect. We do not live in those day anymore and women have actionable ‘outs’ of any commitment that doesn’t suit them, while men have more responsibilities to qualify themselves to suit women.

Advantages?

Early marriage has a few advantages, but all of these depend on the personal nature of the woman a man marries. That sounds kind of obvious, but if you go into a marriage with a solid Frame and a woman who expects to defer to your dominance, I think young marrieds might have a better shot at long term success. If a woman is a virgin, yes, this can be a real source of attachment for her if her husband imprints on her as solidly dominant Alpha. I always advise men not to get involved with a virgin girl if his only plan is to spin her as a plate. There is far too significant and imprinting with virgin women and sex with an Alpha man, or even a guy who seemed Alpha. This is the recipe for an Alpha Widow, but in a marriage it can make for a strong bond.

As has been mentioned countless times, the most stable and healthy way to raise children is in a committed marriage. This might be the only advantage marriage may have for a man today. In an early marriage I would think that a woman being at her sexual market value peak, combined with following her true biological clock (her prime fertility window 22-26) the odds of having happy healthy children are improved. I have a cousin who spent more than half his life building himself into a millionaire architect, but at my age (49) his children are 5 and 7. I can’t imagine living this life now. I suppose money might make it easier, but evolutionarily speaking he and I should effectively be grandfathers by now. I married at 28 and there are advantages and disadvantages to this as well, but I cannot imagine having young children at my age.

Finally, for the “well, duh” moment, it goes without saying that a young wife/mother should necessarily be playing on your team. The only possible successful prospect for a younger marriage to have any stability is if that woman understands what it is she’s sacrificing. Women likewise sacrifice their own personal potentials and later this becomes their source of resentment. The stakes are high for men, particularly if they aren’t Red Pill aware, but women too must understand her own sacrifices; I think this is the most difficult thing. Women’s solipsism, Hypergamous nature and a social order that ‘fempowers’ them to believe not only can they “have it all” but are entitled to it all makes this the bridge too far for young marriage.

In the Trad-Con sphere today there is a constant droning for personal responsibility on the part of men. There is little to none about the responsibilities of women. We’re constantly told that women are only the way they are because men have allowed it. I’ve written before that this is a cop out and an absolving of women’s complicity that mirrors what the Feminine Imperative has put forth. Women are taught not to do anything “for a man” and anything a woman does that might be expressly for a man is is conflated with subservience. Consequently we get generations of women who only indulge their natural solipsism and expect men’s sacrifices as part of the utilities. This is one of the primary reasons all marriages fail; there is no complementarity. Marriage becomes nothing but a naked exchange of resources on the part of the man and anything a woman might do ‘for’ him is frowned upon. And don’t think this is just limited to those blue haired feminists, you can find it at your church.

Women can only willingly want to please a man whose Frame is the dominant one. You’ve got to have that world established that she wants to enter and become a complementary, supportive (of you) and willing participant in. This world-building takes time. Women evolved to seek competency in men. Hypergamy cannot afford to bet all of a woman’s genetic legacy on a guy who has “potential” – they want the proven commodity. This is one reason women look for men older and taller than they are. More importantly, you need a woman who is playing on your team, not against you. And sadly this is the state of marriage promoted by the Feminine Imperative today. Egalitarianism doesn’t promote complementary cooperation, it promotes an adversarial state of competition between husband and wife.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

AWALT married or not. Y’all know where I was…this is where I’m now at: She doesn’t snark nor laugh at me. She rarely speaks out of turn. If she does all it takes is a look to fix it. She will cry about her insecurities rather than my failures. She doesn’t get angry but scared. She’ll serve me, the kids, I’ll leave my dishes and she’ll volunteer to clean up. Sex is vibrant and not terrifying, even the fun stuff, she asks for it. All this and I don’t say one thing about anything. It was me who changed for… Read more »

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
3 years ago

Women only rail against the notion because they’re socially retarded in a way that they aren’t punished for until they turn 30.

Ya Really used to talk about that.

IRL
IRL
3 years ago

@Eh

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westray
westray
3 years ago

1. Rollo writes a great article
2. Some guys try to discuss it and apply it to their own lives but before they can get the wheels off the ground….
3. Blax, Sentient and other OMG’s repurpose the article into a discussion about how alpha they are.

Every single time.

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

How old are you westray?

I didn’t notice the ” alphaing “. That’s your interpretation. So, how about it? What’s your experience?

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

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M Simon
3 years ago

westray
February 3, 2018 at 7:16 pm

It’s the law.

Enthusiastic consent.

If you are interested in women being Beta is now illegal.

M Simon
3 years ago

Your most powerful part.

https://youtu.be/8r-AUdniZD0

rugby11
3 years ago
SJF
SJF
3 years ago

@Westray So tell us what are you going to do about that in your line of life? In the alternatives space of a billion different things that can happen to you in the future? How does the original posts resonate with you and what are you going to do with that. Besides get angry at the comments? How does other guys telling about their alpha experiences get boring or distract from the awareness, actually? You are getting derailed and not getting your wheels off the ground by comments from Sentient? Why is that? Explain what the problem is. What is… Read more »

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

“Enthusiastic consent.”

Enthusiasm for women. I know it when I see it.

https://youtu.be/OvIfsb9w2ME

I have no idea what these thoughts degenerated into. Started out good, though.

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

I admit it. JP is killing it. I’ve started consuming his vids all week long. Addictive. Funny sounding, but addictive.

hank holiday
hank holiday
3 years ago

@rugby

nice interview you linked. great book/movie

gonna have to go on a Kubrick binge now

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

@Blaximus Jordan Peterson’s intellectualism is fun. Really fun. When he debates, what comes out is Law #48 Law 48 Assume Formlessness By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes. What is going on here is not a debate over him being… Read more »

Mineter
Mineter
3 years ago

I’m an OMG, but I hardly consider myself Alpha. And I did do best of TRM etc. Perhaps I didn’t do it right, perhaps my wife is just too plain stupid. I came to the realisation that not only is the juice not worth the squeeze, but that she doesn’t deserve me. It’s easy to identify a whole raft of laws that made this mess. The solution is known. But it is like getting the toothpaste back into the tube (except you can only use one hand… in the dark… whilst drunk… whilst riding a bike). Good luck with that.… Read more »

M Simon
3 years ago

SJF
February 3, 2018 at 9:10 pm

Teaching the LTR Red Pill is also teaching her to like herself.

Asked the LTR yesterday if she liked learning about herself and becoming comfortable with it. I got an enthusiastic YES. This from a woman who fought the concept for 40+ years. It always turned her on (when she would allow it to). What she didn’t like was how “base” the behavior was (not morally acceptable).

kobayashii1681
3 years ago

“There’s an old saying that goes “marriage is our last, best chance for growing up”.”

This is part of JBP’s line of thinking. Understandable, but out of sync with today’s realities.

kobayashii1681
3 years ago

“what’s undeniable is that investing themselves in a one-mate strategy necessarily selects them out of experiences with women that would otherwise aid them in vetting a woman as a good long term prospect.”

Well said. This is one of the main pitfalls of blue pill idealism – it forms the basis of oneitis, belief in “the one”& “quality women”, belief in “feminine mystique”, and, confers men who think this way with a lower SMV automatically.

kobayashii1681
3 years ago

“women have actionable ‘outs’ of any commitment that doesn’t suit them, while men have more responsibilities to qualify themselves to suit women.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

kobayashii1681
3 years ago

“I always advise men not to get involved with a virgin girl if his only plan is to spin her as a plate. There is far too significant and imprinting with virgin women and sex with an Alpha man, or even a guy who seemed Alpha. This is the recipe for an Alpha Widow, but in a marriage it can make for a strong bond.” This is true. I have experienced the truth of this in reverse. Sometime last year almost had an affair with a married woman. She was the archetypal “good woman”: Christian, raised right and married as… Read more »

kobayashii1681
3 years ago

“I have a cousin who spent more than half his life building himself into a millionaire architect, but at my age (49) his children are 5 and 7. I can’t imagine living this life now. I suppose money might make it easier, but evolutionarily speaking he and I should effectively be grandfathers by now. I married at 28 and there are advantages and disadvantages to this as well, but I cannot imagine having young children at my age.” I think it might be this way for me. The way I see it financial autonomy will allow me to be more… Read more »

kobayashii1681
3 years ago

“I think this is the most difficult thing. Women’s solipsism, Hypergamous nature and a social order that ‘fempowers’ them to believe not only can they “have it all” but are entitled to it all makes this the bridge too far for young marriage.”

Straight.Facts.

Even in the face of mature women telling them so:

https://youtu.be/h8yi5Cz2oH4

https://youtu.be/10RFbpnbC4c

kobayashii1681
3 years ago

Effing brilliant brother! Great post!

Yollo Comanche
Yollo Comanche
3 years ago

Let’s continue to commit to returning mankind’s weapons to him.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Westray

Here is the thing. It’s a question you should pose to yourself often. It’s something that seperates alpha from beta:

So what are YOU going to do about it?

westray
westray
3 years ago

Blaximus, Sentient, SJF

Your alpha stances/affirmations/claims are as predictable, dull and relentless as Rugby 11’s vids. Does that help you understand?

Might even be that your constant stream of alpha platitudes about your own selves isn’t alpha behavior at all.

redlight
redlight
3 years ago

@westray

they are too ego-invested and nothing can be done

Skip/skim the comments, there’s little value here

Trent Lane
Trent Lane
3 years ago

Great article Rollo.

Only argument I do not completely understand is the following:

“As has been mentioned countless times, the most stable and healthy way to raise children is in a committed marriage.”

Commited man-woman-LTR agreed, monogamous or not (that’s another discussion), but how does “committed marriage” come into play here in regard to raising kids? Because it’s more stable (arguably?)?

Serious question, no snark.

– – – – – – –

And apropos of nothing @ all, a little short film I randomly found which some of you might enjoy

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

“Might even be that your constant stream of alpha platitudes about your own selves isn’t alpha behavior at all.”

Well all I can say is the my sexual strategy, my wife and children are working out pretty well lately. And I’ve been working out pretty good lately at the gym. Weightlifting is fun.

And I’m also getting over impingement syndrome in my shoulders.

I also just turned on a crockpot of venison chili with home grown shiitake mushrooms.

Cheers.

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

@ westray

OK cool you’re entitled to your opinion.

And your misunderstanding.

And your fear.

And your anger.

And you pettiness and short narrow sightedness.

Really, it’s cool.

quartermoa
3 years ago

A little background. Same age as @Rollo. Backed into marriage, had kid first, at around 26. Ended up having 3 children. Blue pilled the marriage and divorce about 6 years ago Most painful thing ever went through in my life. Not zeroed out, but did leave a mark.

@Rollo
Finding this website not long after my divorce was a life changer. Your work has had a huge impact on my life. This has been a great series of articles in recent months. Some of best ever.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Westray

But what are YOU going to do about it?

quartermoa
3 years ago

“And I’m also getting over impingement syndrome in my shoulders.”

Have the same thing going on. Physical therapy helps a lot.

Also, impingement syndrome sounds way better than me saying “my shoulders are fucked up”. LOL

rugby11
3 years ago

“dull and relentless as Rugby 11’s vids. Does that help you understand?”
Their not mine. Appreciate your though’s on them.

https://www.divorcecorp.com/book-table-contents/

Culture and protection
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWAoqtymD58

Trent Lane
That’s heartbreaking for me. I did that as a child a lot. But the older version adds a dimension of sadness. Perhaps it’s age.

rugby11
3 years ago

Oh boy wrong clip i meant this one
https://www.imagejournal.org/top-25-marriage-films/

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“Enthusiastic consent”? Negotiated overt dog thinking. Unreliable.

I suggest the unequivocal “full-throated consent”.

rugby11
3 years ago

https://apfmnet.org/articles-for-all/
https://apfmnet.org/find-a-mediator/

“I suggest the unequivocal “full-throated consent”.”

M Simon
3 years ago

The LTR has told me numerous times that for her it was Alpha or nothing. Betas – even as a backup plan – don’t interest her.

M Simon
3 years ago

Blaximus
February 4, 2018 at 10:21 am

Really, it’s cool.

Entertaining.

westray
westray
3 years ago

Sentient,

What am I going to do about it?

Ignore your comments in which you go spelunking around in your own #&%hole, I guess. It’s boring as hell.

Blaximus,

What a girlish non-sequitir. You guys are like a pack of middle school mean girls. I’ll just skip your comments. Please do the same with mine. Deal? A firm, manly, cyber-alpha handshake on it.

M Simon
3 years ago

rugby11
February 4, 2018 at 9:37 am

The way to beat/use Briffault’s Law is this. She has one-itis for you. The only essential benefit you provide in such a case is you. She can’t get enough. Ever. The more she gets the more she wants. Dread is very handy when desire lags. It reminds her of how much she NEEDS you.

Incubus_Rising
Incubus_Rising
3 years ago

@SJF: “I have no idea what these thoughts degenerated into. Started out good, though.” Agreed. She started on the right path and then lost her way. A women when turned on by an Alpha does not need to do those mental gymnastics. I don’t know why these writers / psychologists come so close to pointing out that women enjoy sex only with Alphas, and back off at the last minute. Perhaps they are afraid to hurt the feelings of Beta Male readers and they don’t want to scare away the prey. It is the same with PUAs, they only spew… Read more »

M Simon
3 years ago

So how did it happen? (Me and the LTR) One year I had a dry spell (I was busy working). So I started spinning plates and she fell into the rotation. And never quit. No. Matter. What. Except for once. Early on. It was the biggest mistake of her life. She never made it again. When she would taste another woman on me she would get angry for 3 seconds and then decide opening up to me was the better option. Every. Single. Time. All fun and games? Hell no. She had a few major problem which I had my… Read more »

Incubus_Rising
Incubus_Rising
3 years ago

@Westray: Are you new to TRM? If so, I can understand the way you feel. But overtime you will come to terms with the fact that some of the older readers have gone through a transformation unimaginable to some of the new readers. They despise even a slightest hint of weakness, they have transcended in the “zero fucks given” land. I am not quite there yet, but aspire to get there soon. So rather than calling them out, it is better to either listen to them or ignore their comments. But if you spend long enough time you will appreciate… Read more »

M Simon
3 years ago

Rollo,

You might want to change your (C) to 2018.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Westray

See you have no frame. You say you are going to ignore my comments ( after commenting on them) and yet you don’t.

This lack of agency is a characteristic of beta.

I understand why you are angry. Anger is a symptom of beta. It’s weak.

westray
westray
3 years ago

I’m not new here. I disagree with you. It’s self-congratulation mixed with early onset Alzheimer’s maybe. Who cares? It’s so boring and worthless. I read a lot and the clockwork consistency of the thread derailment into OMG’s awesomeness has long been a serious waste of time. I will ignore for sure. I agree with you on that.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Sure you will ignore… Just like this?

lol.

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

@ Incubus Rising “There are a lot of buffers and illusions lurking in the hindbrain of many Red Pill aware too. The only way to remove those buffers is to call out on the bull shit and most of the older commenters do a pretty good job at that.” Great point! I’ve has some great call outs from in real life red pill buddies especially this last two months. The reference experiences of being called out your bullshit and buffers is priceless for those of us that are paying attention to what is actually going on here. “I don’t know… Read more »

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

I’ve has some great call outs from in real life red pill buddies especially this last couple months. The reference experiences of being called out your bullshit and buffers is priceless for those of us that are paying attention to what is actually going on here.

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Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

Westray Ha ha. Don’t hate the player, hate the game…etc. etc. I speak catonese , so what you’re saying in man speak is ” I’d rather hear everyone suffering and doubtful and confused and afraid, and when older dudes speak it makes my vagina wet and I don’t like that feelings.. ” Am I right? Sorry pal. You can like it, or you can love it. Those are your options. .. Wait a minute, or you can try to LEARN from it and apply some things to your life and just say ” no ” to the big blue wimpishment.… Read more »

Bachelorocles
Bachelorocles
3 years ago

At middle age here is what I see. 90% of married women are unhappy with their blue pill husbands whom they married because of their earning potential. They are now bored. Most are on some sort of medication like SSRIs. Most of the wives cheat. It would not surprise me if all of them cheat. Work travel hotels are like college dorms. They flirt with men in front of their husbands. During girls nights out they make fun of their husbands. They discuss their dick sizes and lampoon their O faces. Most of the husbands are good guys who worship… Read more »

M Simon
3 years ago

SJF
February 4, 2018 at 4:44 pm

In the Arica system buffers are indicated when you have “charge” with something. Something ordinary upsets you.

hank holiday
hank holiday
3 years ago

@westray @blax

Sack the fuck up.

Damn straight.

Westray you just need to calm down.

Only pussy gamma dudes get upset over words and pictures on the internet.

Real alpha men are man enough for that shit not to bother them.

So you just need to quit asking questions, stop thinking critically, and accept the wisdom of the older generation, who know all things and make no mistakes.

Oh, and blax I found another pic:

comment image

Its some plastic huts and white chicks.

Lets see if my lego man hut will come through this time:

comment image

hank holiday
hank holiday
3 years ago

SUCCESS!

IRL
IRL
3 years ago

What’s with the “don’t marry” mantra? Do what you want. Simple. Stay single, get married, get divorced, spin plates, go full monk mode, go gay… lol… This is just a means to an end. Which is what? A fulfilling life? And what gives you that? Do you want people around you? Men (no homo lol), women, children? Are you into long term pair bonding? You enjoy the initial phases of relationships and then it fizzles out? You’re a thrill of a hunt type and need novelty even sooner? MGTOW? Do you think you may want kids? How much time would… Read more »

mersonia
3 years ago

That’s what’s stayed with me: there are two types of people – those who spend their time avoiding taxes and those who use it to make more money. Don’t lose sight of your end goal.

lights off….curtain close….. clap clap clap

bravo

shakaleonidas
shakaleonidas
3 years ago

I can agree with @westray that the discussions do get derailed into the land of •No fucks given• aboard the ■Impeccable Alpha Frame Train■ at times and its an exercise in futility to throw the old “thought football” around in the comment section, but its a testimony that everyone’s experiences with a universal issue is unique yet certain actions yeild predictable results. @IRL This is some dope insight. “By putting more effort into finding ways to avoid taxes. Effect? The business didn’t grow, the gains were illusory and consumed more and more time. He ended the story with a simple… Read more »

rugby11
3 years ago

“There are a lot of buffers and illusions lurking in the hindbrain of many Red Pill aware too. The only way to remove those buffers is to call out on the bull shit and most of the older commenters do a pretty good job at that.” One of the reason’s why i am here. “That’s what’s stayed with me: there are two types of people – those who spend their time avoiding taxes and those who use it to make more money. Don’t lose sight of your end goal.” https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/gzQHV1_oyUYUeAX95BodLw–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9ODAw/http://media.zenfs.com/en-US/homerun/motleyfool.com/eadf1a993694a30f3ae4ac3c7d3cdc8e 118 billion dollars bezos “Do not fear the split. I… Read more »

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

“. . . there are two types of people – those who spend their time avoiding taxes and those who use it to make more money.”

And then there’s Arthur Jones.

M Simon
3 years ago

Are men obsolete? A woman argues against it.

https://youtu.be/L9tlOJ0JZ9E?t=1m19s

M Simon
3 years ago

A large percentage of social mammals can be divided into what’s called pair-bonded species: they mate for life, males do a lot of child-care, females choose males who are good partners, there’s not a whole lot of aggression. Or tournament species: males are much bigger than females, and big sharp canines, ornamentation, they fight tons…. So what about humans? By every measure you could come up with from cultural anthropology to literally what sort of genetic diseases we have, we are halfway in between… and this explains like 90% of poetry and divorces… We are incredibly confused species in that… Read more »

rugby11
3 years ago
EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

OMGs were YSG once too and in spite of the cultural environment the actors haven’t changed that much.

If you’re standing your ground over an ostensible jab at your lifestyle, you’re missing the point of the comments and the OP.

The point is to be pro/con fully aware.

IMO people are clearer on the pros of their life’s lot but less clear on the cons. The cons are buffered away.

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

Yeah, I agree with that observation. It’s appears sometimes that no matter what you say, or how you say it, there are always going to be some who will only see cons or a majority of downside to life itself. The sphere is a different kind of place with a different populous, with guys searching it out for answers for a variety of reasons. I never take the few hard cases that show up as being Representative of the larger population. All males are exposed to the same stressors pretty much. Even ‘ old ‘ guys ( because life isn’t… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

Why do I suddenly want to listen to Floyd’s ‘ Time ‘ ?

status confirmed
status confirmed
3 years ago

Once I got into the “real world” after college, over 20 years ago, all I seemed to see was men who were married and miserable, or divorced and only seeing their kids on weekends. I grew up with my parents in a stable marriage and household, and was not about to sign up for the marriages I was witnessing all around me. Without a plan of attack, I knew I would end up like the miserable men around me. So I’d cut my girlfriends loose after 2-4 years together. I did this many times. Each time, while it hurt, I… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Blax

More like “Fearless”

You say the hill’s too steep to climb
Chiding!
You say you’d like to see me try
Climbing!
You pick the place and I’ll choose the time
And I’ll climb
The hill in my own way
just wait a while, for the right day
And as I rise above the treeline and the clouds
I look down hear the sound of the things you said today

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeyHPAdxuy0

But which one is Mr. Pink? Amirite???

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

What will we conquered? None but ourse!ves. –George Mallory

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

have conquered

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“There’s no good reason to get married”

Easy now, I’ve got four.

Perhaps this: “There’s no good reason for me to get married.”

You’re extrapolating your life to everyone. Blax addressed this only just.

I’d hope you reconsider dismissing the value of marriage. It’s not for you, of course. You’ve made it clear you’re unable to do that.

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

@Eh Intellect:

You’re extrapolating those four things you got while married to marriage.

dr zipper
dr zipper
3 years ago

thanks msimon, great video on male obselesence… there’s much to lift from her speech when discussing this with others; sometimes some concepts can be difficult to articulate, but she does this nicely; gonna swipe some of her points for my own use for sure “…diversity of voices and ideas is a healthy thing… if an idea does not hold up to challenge or scrutiny, it is probably garbage…” “…what is happening in these echo chambers is the ideas remain untested and unchallenged and then the psychological investment in the world view expressed there only increases…” some awesome guy once said… Read more »

dr zipper
dr zipper
3 years ago

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them” – Henry David Thoreau

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

@ kfg

That’s true insofar that children and marriage are legal entities only.

They’re not, IMO.

Children aren’t things. Nor is my marriage. There’s a transactional, reciprocatiing nature of both.

I value as succesful future for my children and all. That requires me to do things, things others prefer not to, to have a consequential impact on my kids and likewise others they’ll encounter as adults.

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

@ status What you said makes 100% sense. ( westray skip the following lest you think I may be alphaing again rather than expressing a viewpoint from my own experiences ) My parents are still married and that influenced my thinking that it could be done. I’d witnessed divorces, and even if I didn’t understand the why’s of the phenomenon at the time, eventually things became clearer over time. I’ve never ” feared ” the idea of marriage, even though many men actively advised against it. That’s probably due to having exposure to examples that flew in the face of… Read more »

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

“That’s true insofar that children and marriage are legal entities only.

They’re not, IMO.”

That is correct, therefore it is best not to conflate them. That lies at the heart of the matrix.

rugby11
3 years ago

“Bottom line: you have one guarantee in this life, and that’s death. All of us have an expiration date, believe that.

How do you wish to spend your rapidly depleting time?”

Live and not numb yourself at pain but enjoy a companion along the way. Manage the pain but not giving into it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheEffectiveMan/comments/7etime/on_justice/?ref=share&ref_source=link

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

@ kfg

You got me thinking a little more.

Ever meet a TRM and/or RP guy? It’s a treat…well for me it is.

Ever meet a kid raised in an RP marriage/household? That’s fun too.

Put a kid from an unstable marriage into a stable marriage. Does he become stable? Probably not.

There’s a lot lost in the overt world in which some prefer living.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

Blax,

You tell a better story than I. It’s a gift.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

@ kfg

The marriage, as, how I live marriage, has an impact on my children. My children are affected by marriage, not just being married.

Perhaps I’m thinking woo-woo.

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

@Eh Intellect: “Perhaps I’m thinking woo-woo.”

No, you’re just failing to separate your parameters. In your own life that is no doubt OK, as the two are so closely aligned, but when talking to other men about the Red Pill it is an error.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

Ok. Got it. That was fun.

That’s certainly a bias of mine. Caring less about definitions than how the general principle applies and how to apply it well, that is.

I do appreciate the difference.

dr zipper
dr zipper
3 years ago

http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-42947383 “So in the 50s there were a lot of these problems that we didn’t have. One of the reasons they were fewer is that the pill had not come along…. When it did come along, all of a sudden, because you could – you were expected to. Whereas beforehand, you were not expected to as you might get pregnant.” ‘Referring to the backlash levelled against her, Atwood said she was concerned that that was was “fairly standard” for anyone who says anything except, ‘I believe anything that a woman says’.” :: LOL “I think it’s quite dangerous to accord… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago
EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“No, you’re just failing to separate your parameters.”

I’m not sure I could in application.

status confirmed
status confirmed
3 years ago

@EhIntellect

“Perhaps this: “There’s no good reason for me to get married.” You’re extrapolating your life to everyone. Blax addressed this only just. I’d hope you reconsider dismissing the value of marriage. It’s not for you, of course. You’ve made it clear you’re unable to do that.”

Fair point, I am extrapolating my life to advice for everyone. I’m more than willing to change my opinion when proven wrong, I just have yet to hear a compelling argument for marriage that outweighs the potential downside.

IRL
IRL
3 years ago

http://calebjonesblog.com/overview-business-life/

I am a creature of business. Always have been. Most people who know me only through my writings as Blackdragon think the most important thing in my life is women. Wrong. Number one in my life is, and always has been, my work, my businesses, my Mission. My woman life is always second to that.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

Occasionally when women scorn having children or more children: They’ll say they’re done with 2 or 3 kids and give a litany of reasons why. I ask, “iJust for fun…if you had another daughter, what would you name her?” Almost always they refuse to answer. The thought of pre aborting their kid for all those temporal reasons chills them. So I ask you, Status Confirmed…if, just if, you WERE to have a son, what would you name him? I respect you enough and this is a great comment thread. Thank you for being so open to it. An aside not… Read more »

dr zipper
dr zipper
3 years ago

status c: an argument for marriage requires context: – holistic RP will permeate the entire man, which means he will have self knowledge and purpose in life beyond reproduction; this must happen first – if reproduction is a choice of purpose he makes, then marriage is only for having children as they benefit from an ‘official’ union and having a set of male/female parents to raise them: a family – keeping this union together as a family unit beneficial to children requires RP knowledge and skills, which will then be propagated across generations naturally but other than children, all other… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

Dr, Z

Yup.

IRL
IRL
3 years ago

@OMGs

One wife? Pussies…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJOocW8e9R0

Lol at his reaction

Roused
Roused
3 years ago

Catching up here and just saw this: westray February 3, 2018 at 7:16 pm 1. Rollo writes a great article 2. Some guys try to discuss it and apply it to their own lives but before they can get the wheels off the ground…. 3. Blax, Sentient and other OMG’s repurpose the article into a discussion about how alpha they are. Every single time. Woooah! Hey man, if you want to AMOG those guys go for it. I’ll get some popcorn to watch that shit show. TRM isn’t first come first serve like the cafeteria when we were little kids… Read more »

status confirmed
status confirmed
3 years ago

@EhIntellect & dr zipper- If I had a son I would name him after my Dad. I think most of us would agree that a stable marriage benefits the kids. The marriage contract seems so unstable in our society (USA), and the potential downside so nasty, that success seems to rely on the man having really tight red pill game. If his game is that good, then perhaps he can make the case to a woman that they are better off behaving as husband and wife without involving the state by marrying. Essentially put it to her. Does she think… Read more »

Mineter
Mineter
3 years ago

@status confirmed

They’re great questions. Now ask yourself: will her answers be truthful, and will they hold true not just now, but always?

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“If his game is that good, then perhaps he can make the case to a woman…”

No case to be made. Acta non verba isn’t just platitude. She’ll follow you to the end of the Earth and off just being all in on you.

Are you?

Naming your son after your Dad? Classic move. There’s immense consequence in that you know. Intuitively you value the power of lineage as every man does.

It takes a lot of BP convincing to think otherwise.

Dude. You’re on your way to RP brilliance.

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

Well as long as this original post is about marriage and red pill, I think some important things that have been said bear repeating. Hopefully it clears up some slight confusion. Namely, some of us talking about marriage are talking from the perspective of already having been married for a long time and wanting to keep our marriages or LTR’s with valuable partners and are in a stage where our children are cool teenagers, or cool adults (or even when they are not yet to the cool adult phase). (And excuse EhIntellect for a brief moment, he’s never had anything… Read more »

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