The Reconstruction I

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One of the most common misperceptions for guys coming into a Red Pill awareness experience is an expectation of being able to use that awareness and Game to reconstruct an old relationship. Most often this hope is about a guy wanting to ‘fix’ his broken relationship with a girl who dumped him. This is easily the most common reason Blue Pill guys make themselves open to what the Red Pill has to reveal to him. They are desperate, not for the intergender truths that the Red Pill presents, but rather for a solution to their hearts being crushed by a girl.

This is understandable when you consider that these men are still very steeped in Blue Pill idealism they’ve yet to unlearn (or understand why they need to unlearn it) and haven’t made the connection that their idealism is part of the reason why they likely were dumped. All they feel is a desperate longing to reconnect to a girl who was their ‘One’, and only now they are desperate enough to seek answers from the Red Pill.

It’s funny how some of the most ardent Red Pill deniers will be open to listening to its truths about men and women if it presents the possibility of them getting back with a former lover they invested themselves in. This is a good illustration of the degree of control Blue Pill idealism has over guys; that they would be open to amending their beliefs if it means reconnecting to those feelings he’s been cut away from.

Unfortunately, the Red Pill is not a salve for Blue Pill disillusionment. It’s a cure, not a bandaid. I tried to succinctly address this in the 7th Iron Rule of Tomassi:

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

Another Red Pill reconstruction attempt is men who make it their goal to ‘re-seduce’ a woman they failed to effectively Game while still wrapped up in their Blue Pill mindset. The first presumption is that revenge might motivate a guy to want to pump and dump a girl who once blew him out back when he was locked into his Blue Pill mentality. Women like this idea because they think it confirms men’s egos being easily bruised, but I don’t think this is always the case.

It’s entirely possible that some past coquette has taken an organic liking to “the new him” now that his Red Pill transition and better grasp of Game has made him attractive to her. I’ve had several guys relate to me about how they have turned a former ONEitis into a plate they were spinning along with others. The experience of doing so will often solidify Red Pill/Game principles for him – the act of cycling an old ‘soul mate’ into a guy’s roster of non-exclusive lovers is a lesson in taking women of a formerly idealistic pedestal and helps humanize women for him in the process.

I should also add that there’s usually a period of time necessary to effect this. Too many men will see Red Pill awareness and just the loosest form of Game as some magic formula for pulling this off too soon. A sudden incongruent shift in his demeanor only puts her off more and leaves him discouraged.

Doing Everything Right

The third type of reconstructionist is the married man  – or the guy in a multi-year LTR – seeking to find the secret to remedy his dead bedroom. There was a time (pre-internet, pre-Red Pill) when these men were reluctant to even voice the problem they were having with their sexually indifferent wives. Generally, this was due to a couple of specific fears.

The first is that most Blue Pill men are conditioned from a very early age to always find fault in themselves before they would ever imply that it would be a woman’s. This was especially true if it was about sex. If you can’t satisfy a woman, it’s your fault. If a woman isn’t aroused or attracted by you, it’s your fault, so the presumption used to be that a man could only better himself as a means to reestablish an attraction that (presumably) he had with his wife before they were married.

Back in the day this ‘improvement’ could be defined in various old books ways. He might get a promotion at work, a shift up in status and pay. He might lose weight or find some form of competition he might possibly do well in. He might change his beliefs or accede to better identifying with his wife, or do more chores around the home, help with the kids, arrange more ‘date nights’. He might go to marriage counseling or participate in his church’s “men’s spiritual retreats” in order to show that he’s growing.

All of these ways of “rekindling the old flame” are essentially a man’s effort in acquiescing to his woman’s Frame while keeping him in a perpetual state of negotiating for her genuine desire. From a Red Pill perspective we understand this, but there was a time, not so long ago, when men’s preoccupation was all about doing everything right in order to get his wife to fuck him like she used to, or with something resembling genuine enthusiasm.

The second fear men of that time had was admitting to their inability to satisfy their wife (LTR) sexually. Again, this was all about a female-dominant Frame, and his qualifying for her pleasure, but we’re talking about a time when men’s interpretation of their own masculinity was always being questioned. It’s interesting to see how times have changed with communication technology. I can remember a time when it would’ve been taboo to be too direct about sex in church. Now it’s unavoidable and we have pastors encouraging sex quota months in order to spur the asexual wives in the congregation.

In a Blue Pill social order, men learn to always qualify for women. So the natural, male-deductive response has always been to do everything right in order to keep the sex faucet flowing. Sacrifice dreams, belay ambitions, get the right job with the right status and become a person who a woman would want to bang. These are all old book presumptions based on the Beta Female-Identifying Provider archetype, but it’s important to keep this in mind today because this same do everything right presumption still persists for men today.

The following is a post from the Married Red Pill Reddit I saved about four months ago.

Story time….

I originally posted most of this in a reply over at ASKMRP but I thought I’d share here too.

You can read my post history to get all the gory details but I moved out a few months ago in exasperation after following my MRP path to a T and seeing little to no improvement in our relationship. I’ve “fixed” myself in ways I never thought I could and moving out was me punting the final decision for a bit before I blow my beautiful children’s life to pieces.

Things are calm, peaceful, friendly and kinda fun at “home” but the sexual dynamic hasn’t changed at all despite all odds. I’ve finally reached the point that I give 0 fucks either way and every day that goes by makes me a bit more ambivalent to the whole deal.

It’s taken a long time to get here but something happened last week that opened my eyes to how shitty my life has been for a looooong time and how at this point she is the only “problem” left in my life and I can’t “fix” her.

The quick back story is that I was a fat, beta fuck for a long time and have been on this journey for about 2 years. I am fairly ripped now and have “fixed” myself to the point that I feel comfortable saying I’m a top 5-10% guy in my metro. Good looking, successful business(Doubled my sales in the last 12mos! Thanks MRP!), dress well…etc.

Last week I initiated with the wife while I was over at our house helping get the kids to bed. She shot me down like she has been for months. We still fuck here and there but the quality has been shitty for a while despite implementing as much SGM as I can.

I laughed, told her goodnight and went back to my house. I actually prefer being there now. I’ve come to love the solitude too as the loneliness and missing the kids has worn off a little.

I worked out and read for a while and got bored so I decided to download Bumble and Tinder to get a no risk gauge of where I’m at if I end up nexting her. I’ve been getting plenty of IOI’s in public but I live in a small town so pursuing them would eventually lead to big problems. I also downloaded a GPS location faker and put myself in a state far, far away to make sure I don’t get doxxed by one of her shitty, single friends…

Gentlemen…It’s been 4 days and I currently have over 60 unsolicited messages from all kinds of women. My inbox is full of unsolicited tittie and pussy shots from women waayyy hotter than my wife. I’ve got 5 women literally begging me to come fuck them and another 5 or so I’m confident I could fuck within a week if I wanted.

It’s a good thing I put myself so far away or the temptation would probably be way too much to handle. I deleted the apps this morning as I’m not ready to blow everything up yet and I want to give the marriage every last chance for my kids sake. I know myself well enough to know that once I taste some strange there will no turning back. The constant buzzing of the burner phone was also killing my productivity.

The end result is that this whole experiment has killed off any last shred of oneitis I had and opened my eyes to what my life will look like going forward if this goes the way it’s heading. My wife is a good woman and is fairly hot but it appears that she may not be able to see past all those years of beta shittiness from me and that’s ok.

I didn’t tell you my story to brag but to re-affirm that only you can change and determine the quality of your life. I can tell you that 2 years ago I was a mess trying to hang on to the shreds of my marriage while my wife was pretty much repulsed by me. My wife will or will not change into the sexy woman I want over the next few months but now I really don’t care because I have PAINFULLY built myself into a man that the world will treat very well either way.

Salvation lies within, motherfuckers! Get to work, be consistent, and reap the rewards!

Today the hope for bettering a man’s sexual prospects in marriage is found primarily in Red Pill awareness. I would daresay that the Red Pill, Game and the manosphere have done more in improving men’s sexual access in marriage than contemporary marriage counseling for about 10 years now. That’s to be lauded I think, but it also has to come with the understanding that no man’s experience, no man’s situation with his wife/woman, is ever the same, nor is it ideal.

There is a set of Red Pill men (usually married) who also attempt to do everything right – according to Red Pill awareness and applied Game – and, as per this man’s story, the situation is such that it is still ‘not enough’.

These men become Red Pill aware, they unplug, they struggle to accept it while disenfranchising themselves from their Blue Pill conditioning. They put in the time for insight and soul-searching, they deal with the uncomfortable truths of what they’ve been all their lives. They deal with the anger that inspires and they come out on the other side and begin to remake themselves. They self-improve.

Roosh recently had some Dali Lama moment about how he believes self-improvement is some Zen preset channel for men, and they ought not worry about bettering themselves. I say bullshit. Self-improvement itself is a state of being. Once a man applies himself, invests more in himself than he ever has before, changes his mind about himself, he becomes hisown mental point of origin.

These men begin to see the results of their efforts, efforts often unbeknownst to his woman. She may witness the outward changes, but only he know the experience of his inward changes. Now he’s got to deal with new experiences that were previously foreign to him in his old, Blue Pill self-identity. Some are uncomfortable and require him to use judgement he’s never had to before. Others are temptations or opportunities he’s never had access to before.

All of what’s led to this transition required a lot of personal investment on his part, and by his Red Pill awareness he’s done everything right. This transformative experience becomes a kind of Relational Equity for him; equity he believes his wife, his ex, the old high school girl who ignored him, should have some appreciation for. Just like the old books men who believed that building themselves up in their careers or getting more in touch with their feminine sides would be the key to doing everything right, the Red Pill aware guy finds that it’s not him, it’s her.

This is part one of this series.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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insanitybytes22
3 years ago

“What worries her and the Sisterhood is that it’s gotten to the point that the church has become so outwardly hostile to anything conventionally masculine that men, even spiritually seeking men, want nothing to do with a feminine-primry church.” Utter rubbish,Tomassi. The church I belong to is about 70% men. The church at large is dominated by male leadership, somewhere around 90%. Most of us actually like it that way. As to Salvation, He redeems. You Tomassi, need to be believing that, and leading others to Christ. It isn’t a magic wand at all, it’s a lot of hard work,… Read more »

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

“The church at large is dominated by male leadership, somewhere around 90%. Most of us actually like it that way.”

Well of course you do, Sugar Britches; it’s the Standard Model of matriarchal control.

Men form the inner circle of leadership, while the women form a circle around them, controlling access to the inner circle.

insanitybytes22
3 years ago
Reply to  Rollo Tomassi

“Every church census for the past 2 decades has reported a decline in male attendance. Just read Dalrocks stats…” Dalrock is writing a self absorbed narrative that has little basis in reality. We are “the church,” millions of us out here, not people in a building you can poll and survey. There are “lies,damned lies,and statistics.” The last election should have proven that. If you want to know what church is like,you go,you attend, you get involved. If you don’t like one, you find another. We are the church, us people representing Christ, not statistics in someone’s narrative designed confirm… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

@ EhIntellect ” The “no magic pussy” intrigues me. Pussy is on a scale if a guy begins with pussy as an objective. With RP egocentrism, pussy just is…sort of. I’d not bang just anything and I’d assume no one here would either. The RP functions in the man’s interest, women respond and men can increase the attractiveness and volume of girls. Good for him. IMO, sexual attractiveness as a starting point hobbles a man’s frame, generally. Blax’s frame is strong enough to see past looks and not let it affect him. Cool. Her attractiveness wasn’t the basis of that… Read more »

fleezer
fleezer
3 years ago

are there any posts about how a rational, red pill man could believe in a god/gods?

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

@ Ronin ” Blaximus, I was one of the fortunate ones whose wife never got fat and very often initiated sex for the vast majority of my marriage…No dead bedroom for me, but our married sex life was an exception compared to most couples we knew. The OMG guys were always complaining about the tap being turned off or the fact that “The juice was not worth the squeeze” , even when they did get it….Some did the whole D&D ( Date nights and Dread) thing to turn it around, which only extended the misery with occasional duty sex, often… Read more »

newlyaloof
3 years ago

@Rollo, who bitch this is? Seriously, she’s not keeping you sharp by offering counter-arguments. Ban that nutcase and let her nag you on Twitter instead.

insanitybytes22
3 years ago
Reply to  Rollo Tomassi

“You have never been able to empirically disprove any assertion I or Dalrock have ever made.”

Love, Tomassi. Love is the empirical data that disproves many of the assertions made by you and Dalrock.
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”- John 15:13

It’s irrational, crazy, supernatural even. It a world driven by nothing more then hypergamy, self-preservation, and biology, we have this one thing that doesn’t fit the reason based narrative, sacrificial love.

stuffinbox
3 years ago

If Jesus walked into the wrong church today IB would be the first one to nail him to a cross.

Novaseeker
Novaseeker
3 years ago

This blog isn’t a church. It isn’t a ministry. It’s a place where men can come to learn how to pragmatically improve their lives, including their lives vis-a-vis women. There are web communities dedicated to improving one’s physical life, one’s health, one’s finances. All of these can (and are, by some) taken to extremes in terms of leading to narcissism, superiority complexes, greed. Yet these are not called out by Christians because they aren’t in effect ministries preaching the gospel of salvation — they’re communities based around practical concerns of life, and people helping one another improve in these practical… Read more »

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

“This blog isn’t a church. It isn’t a ministry. It’s a place where men can come to learn how to pragmatically improve their lives, including their lives vis-a-vis women.” Yeah, but that’s exactly what the Church Lady (who is absolutely NOT here to Preach&Teach at us, because in her religion and her Church that is province of men) objects to. “You’re hiding behind Christianity by expecting self-help websites like this one to act like Churches, which is absurd – because this isn’t a Church, it isn’t a ministry, it isn’t a religious group” To a Hammer of Jesus everything looks… Read more »

theasdgamer
3 years ago

@Patch You like scrib and habd and don’t even respect me :/ Wtf? There are too many effective plays out there and both overt and covert reinforcement actions and attitudes to have to mess with this., Once a girl as smart as Mrs. Gamer has seen these a few hundred times over several decades, they become less effective. Your girl ain’t my girl. Mrs. Gamer has awesome Frame and intelligence. She’s a tough grapple. (I think of shit-tests and negs as grappling.) Thanks for raising your excellent question which allowed more in-depth examination. Props on holding your Frame in our… Read more »

theasdgamer
3 years ago

Rollo, God may have called you to do TRM. If so, then who is behind IB, who is trying to get you to change course? “For even Satan appears as an angel of light.”

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
3 years ago

This blog isn’t a church. It isn’t a ministry. It’s a place where men can come to learn how to pragmatically improve their lives, including their lives vis-a-vis women. This is why I’m a Novaseeker fanboy. Rollo tolerates religious men at TRM, I’m one of them; but that is not the focus here as Nova points out. I reference it only if it is the OP (losing my religion), or keeps surfacing like now. I’ve said this before as have others – what Rollo and his commenters provide is free knowledge, and not just about girls, the red pill truths… Read more »

theasdgamer
3 years ago

The church at large is dominated by male leadership, somewhere around 90%.

Oh, oh. oh [waving hand vigorously]. Let me answer!

The church at large is dominated by male leadership, somewhere around 90%, almost all of whom cater to women, keeping women attendance at 70%, where the average age is 50 and most men are committed to the old set of books, Father Knows Best, the obsolete chivalrous protection of women, and the year 1950.

Joe K
Joe K
3 years ago

‘It (In?) a world driven by nothing more then hypergamy, self-preservation, and biology, we have this one thing that doesn’t fit the reason based narrative, sacrificial love.’ Sacrificial love – something men give to women, yet women never give to any men who aren’t their own sons. Great column, Rollo. On self-improvement – I mostly see that when a woman achieves something (career, new skill, etc.) – a man responds with admiration, but there’s no attempt at jumping on her coattails in any regard. When a man achieves something – a woman responds by angling to annex his self-added value,… Read more »

kfg
kfg
3 years ago

“For even Satan appears as an angel of light.”

No, that’s Lucifer. Who is . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . a woman.

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

“In internet time, months seem more like years. But I think the Great Cat Fight started around 2015….” Holy shit, I can’t keep any of the anon’s straight. (nor do I care much. I do like Liz, though, because of her concern for things masculine. I think. And she has a cool husband.) Also I can’t believe that the essay Never Take a Woman fishing was written in October of 2015. I think that set off the cat fight. Time is funny. 2015 was my slowest feeling year on record. 2016 was my fastest feeling year. The difference? Red Pill… Read more »

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

“…it’s not him, it’s her.”

or

“…it’s not her, its you.”

Is eminently contextual.

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

” On self-improvement – I mostly see that when a woman achieves something (career, new skill, etc.) – a man responds with admiration, but there’s no attempt at jumping on her coattails in any regard. When a man achieves something – a woman responds by angling to annex his self-added value, opportunistically attaching it to her own identity and status by mere association – the definition of coattail-riding.” Yeah. It’s too bad that men are too weak to ever be able to do something about this scenario. If only there was some way to communicate to males that in the… Read more »

SJF
SJF
3 years ago

@Rand Hooks You said @January 5, 2017 at 11:45 am : “I got work to do and I’m good with that. I’m glad it’s this kind of work, after doing the heavy lifting of fixing more personal issues this is kind of fun. After I discovered MGTOW I hired a nutritionist, financial advisory, guitar lessons, cooking lessons. All of it was geared towards me, building myself, good coping skills and what not. This, is a bit different. That’s why I’m here, I never want to stop learning. I’ll read some more of the literature people are offering. I know I’ll… Read more »

SFC Ton
3 years ago

I find it diffcult to talk about religion because most dudes are pussies and the Almighty God is the God of War, wrath, justice, genocide and all things masculine so it’s like talking about the color red with a blind man

raummel
raummel
3 years ago

I remember reading a news article about a study on how long it takes for people change their view, opinion, or perception of others. I’m sure I read this some time during the 90s. The example used is if someone that was thought of as a looser in high school, it would take seven years for people’s perception of that individual to change. I don’t remember gender being mentioned in the news article. I read this a while ago, so the number of years it takes to change is probably wrong. My Google foo wasn’t able to turn up anything.… Read more »

Patchasaurus
Patchasaurus
3 years ago

@ gamer

Yes, respect. Cheers

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

EhIntellect: IMO around here, disposable income spending, overeating masks a lot of male dissatisfaction; they pull plow and whine about loss of agency through workload, regulation compliance/extortion and the willed dysfunction of the job. I remember a study from Japan years ago that correlated health problems with jobs; those men with crappy jobs where they had the most defined work tended to have more health probs. Worse now probably because everyone is supposed to be one text away at all times, even on holiday. Overeating is a form of self medication as far as I can tell. Most overeating involves… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Bites
The church I belong to is about 70% men. The church at large is dominated by male leadership, somewhere around 90%.

Cool, a verifiable fact for once. Ok, dearie, name and address. If that’s too much, then denomination. Put up evidence or else you admit to a lie.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

fleezer
are there any posts about how a rational, red pill man could believe in a god/gods?

Sugges sites like https://dalrock.wordpress.com (Protestant) or https://donalgraeme.wordpress.com/ (Catholic)
or https://americandadweb.wordpress.com/ (Eastern Orthodox)
for that perspective. Each of these sites has a blogroll that links to more along that line.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Bites Dalrock is writing a self absorbed narrative that has little basis in reality. We are “the church,” millions of us out here, not people in a building you can poll and survey. There are “lies,damned lies,and statistics.” Moving the goalposts so soon, dearie? The Pew polls are not perfect, I have my issues with them, but they are better than your babblings because they are fact based. The Pew polls support the reality of declining church attendance and declining male church attendance. Even the mainstream Churchian press has noticed, so your evasions and outright lies are useless. Now, tell… Read more »

cheupez
3 years ago

Hahahaaaaaa Just waking up to see IB’s answer to Rollo’s (and the manosphere’s) offer to men. Sacrificial LOVE. (“Hey (Schmuck), please, please, expose your soft underbelly (again!) so I can gut YOU some more and eat you.”) What?! That is the answer the world of women has to offer to the desolate, crushed, chewed up men sitting alone in the sports bars staring silently at ESPN. I think some popular in-house words like hypergamy and solipsism don’t begin to describe this femme-fatale-circus-puma-in-a-cage thing. It needs a name. Amazing. Zero empathy. Zero sympathy. Nothing. Wah! Even getting tempted to start thinking… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Ton
I find it diffcult to talk about religion because most dudes are pussies and the Almighty God is the God of War, wrath, justice, genocide and all things masculine so it’s like talking about the color red with a blind man

Ask a Churchian when was the last time he or she or more likely IT read the Bible book of Joshua. Entertaining. Bonus points if you sing “kumbayah” while they are trying to figure out an answer.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Blaximus I have an acquaintance/friend that suffered a back injury almost 2 years ago. He has a herniated disc between L4 and L5, just like me. But he is angling for permanent disability as he’s convinced that he can no longer work. Pain pills have become his best friend. Aw, crap. Have you told him that stuff is slow-motion suicide? Stupid question but I gotta ask, does he have an inversion rig like yours? You know better than most anyone how that can work problems out. Dammit. Dammit! This is a really bad idea he’s gotten himself into. Look here,… Read more »

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
3 years ago

Did someone say “herniated disc” and L4/L5? Hello. THREE herniated discs here, L4, L5, L5-S1. First one at 19 and the next two in my twenties. I’m told surgery isn’t worth it (with three discs gone, the surgery will be too complex to justify the potential benefits). It makes life really difficult (for example, I don’t even take carryon luggage on planes because it’s not worth the risk putting it into the overhead bins) but you can’t let it stop you doing stuff. I still manage to have a normal life, with an insane amount of travel. I still have… Read more »

Dota
3 years ago

IB

We are “the church,” millions of us out here, not people in a building you can poll and survey.

She moved the goal posts. She definitely was talking about a building and a location when she ranted about male leadership and attendance, but cunningly switched to a metaphorical definition of church when Rollo threatened to hose her with statistics.

The rest of her nonsense about “love” is just a fighting retreat as she backs away to her worthless blog. She is absolutely the grand-master of concern trolling.

Lost Patrol
Lost Patrol
3 years ago

I’ve never figured it out. Do concern trolls have genuine concern, or is the point to be disruptive with concern as a smoke screen? Mrs. Bytes does seem genuinely concerned to me, in the way that all women seem to be concerned about male spaces. All my life I can remember women being annoyed by men-only activities, or any all male group enjoying life and each others company. They often try to stop, disrupt, or infiltrate this if they can; and if they can’t they surely will make their displeasure known. Dalrock has posted about this ‘feminist territory marking’ and… Read more »

rugby11
rugby11
3 years ago

Media and culture
http://wp.me/p6SXrP-jiX

SFC Ton
3 years ago

I hate those fucking pain pills brothers

Fucking hating them with all the darkness in my ugly, twisted soul

Guys in my old crews, well we get busted up. It’s what we do, then we go back to work before we are healthy because we’re dumber then mules and feed pain pills like candy. Then the next thing you know, your boys are hooked on those damn things.

I’d rather be in pain then take my chances with those fucking things

rugby11
rugby11
3 years ago
Reply to  SFC Ton

Embrace the pain
http://wp.me/p4pKtS-Ik

Neo
Neo
3 years ago

Where do I overtly say thank you to Tomassi so that I know he’ll see it? Bought the audio book, took the red pill, and my life will never be the same. I know kung fu.
-Neo

Neo
Neo
3 years ago

Tomassi,

I owe you more than I could ever describe, and there’s a story behind that that I’ll give you out of my deep and sincere appreciation, one day. But right now, I’m so overwhelmed with freedom that I wouldn’t able to articulate it. Just thank you for now. Keep working it brother.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Re RSD – Interesting background on the place Tyler is staying at with “Big Mike”…

http://www.businessinsider.com/marijuana-mansion-party-marijuana-don-2016-12

http://www.laweekly.com/news/this-marijuana-millionaire-is-the-great-gatsby-of-ganja-7267865

Reportedly rented for $10k a month…

http://www.modernluxury.com/san-francisco/story/the-hugh-hefner-of-weed-lives-los-angeles-throws-wild-mansion-parties-and-calls-

Rollo – how crazy would your “social circle” game be if you not only paid your bottle models but gave out free booze as well?

On a side note – looks like MD shut off his instagram… from over 500k followers POOF! to 4.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago
Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Life-enhancing content to barrel through plateaus and transcend into a healthier, wealthier and love-filled life. [https://julienhimself.com/]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BO8aINnDM-e/

working on mindset…

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“He has a herniated disc between L4 and L5, just like me.” Spine surgery post-surgical rule of thirds: 30% less pain, 30% no change, 30% more pain. Spine surgery odds are low. With big data EMR, spine surgery probably will be classified as clinically ineffective, thus not insurable. EMR data aggregation is about denying coverage, not efficiency, ease of access. The pain is real, drives many clinically depressed, addicted, suicidal. I listen, diagnose, treat per protocol, refer. “I still go to the gym and lift weights, even if I haven’t managed to do it consistently and have to start with… Read more »

Fred Flange, persun of interest
Fred Flange, persun of interest
3 years ago

@sfcTon, @AR, @Blax As long as your buds have all those pain pills lying around, I hope you brought enough to share with the rest of the class? Seriously, just google “opiod abuse” and before long you’ll find the execrable behavior of the makers of Oxycontin, hydrocodone and Fentanyl, among others, changing their marketing from “severe injury” and “end-of-life relief for the dying” to popping them like M&M’s, plain or peanut. All now being sold as “good fer what ails ya”. And boy does Fentanyl make that heroin rush go down smooth! Ask Prince! Most shameful: when the FDA pushed… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

@Sentient, exactly.

whole thing is soooo 80’s hip hop…. well if it ain’t broke and all…

http://images.complex.com/complex/image/upload/c_limit,w_680/f_auto,fl_lossy,pg_1,q_auto/gbwbb6syvzf7ivj4prs9.jpg

Is This Thing On?
Is This Thing On?
3 years ago

The story related in this one is on point as usual and pretty well describes my situation. It also illustrates the limits of red pill awareness. If you become aware post-children, you are still stuck with a shit sandwich. This is why the MRM still holds some real estate in my head.

I couldn’t care less if “she” ever comes around, but who wants to be relegated to being a two weekend a month father? That is no way to raise a red-pill aware son.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi28HTJ7kpo

Big Mike is a smart and successful guy, no doubt about that.

gdeejay
gdeejay
3 years ago

@sentient

That RSD vid … I think I lost a little of my soul. Then I read this guy ( https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5norfy/a_letter_to_you_a_letter_to_me/ ), and I lose a little more. Maybe I am just having a bad day.

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

I think I lost a little of my soul.

How so gdeejay?

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

http://www.therichest.com/celebnetworth/celeb/rappers/big-daddy-kane-net-worth/

Net worth: $400K

Is this legit? (perhaps you know) and how precipitous is the impending fall of the Big Mikes of L.A.? Does he fade away or crash and burn?

This stuff is insightful here in flyover country.

scribblerg
scribblerg
3 years ago

While I respect the commentary about opoids and pain and have seen people become addicts, I have also seen chronic pain destroy people. It’s so easy and tempting to blame “big pharma” or the docs, but most of them that I’ve known feel like it’s a Hobson’s choice. And of course the docs cut people off when they become addicts, so they are only part of the issue. It’s also true that a certain number of people will always become addicted to some drug. When one studies addiction, a simple and not so profound truth becomes plain. Addicts, for the… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“And of course the docs cut people off when they become addicts, so they are only part of the issue.”

The 2 most neglected medical populations: the addicted and mentally ill. Both populations are often too unstable financially to gain attention. Moreover, these populations have extremely long treatment course, unacceptable success rates. Medicine has long ago shifted the responsibility of both to charities, the streets and prisons where they sadly languish.

scribblerg
scribblerg
3 years ago

@Sentient – RSD is becoming increasingly comical to me. I took apart Luke’s Social Circle game in another post here. In Vegas, it looked like he basically was attracting whores, strippers, bottle girls and star fuckers (often one in the same, I’m sure). Not saying he was paying to fuck them, but these are professionals wrt sex and social climbing. It seems that Luke had worked himself into Dan Bilzerian’s crowd and other mini-celebrity social circles. Sure, he’s a limb on the tree those girls are climbing up or swinging from branch to branch on, got it. Is it something… Read more »

Fred Flange, persun of interest
Fred Flange, persun of interest
3 years ago

Actually I agree with Grandmaster G that opiods, properly used, work as advertised and do their job (lose weight now ask me how). In severe pain situations you no longer care about the addiction chances, you’re trying to provide relief. Also it’s clear there are people who we might say have an “addictive” tendency – they react much more severely to habit-forming meds, and have a harder time than most getting away from them. Many former smokers (including my mom, who was an RN) will tell you they still crave a cigarette though they’ve stayed clean. The literature does show… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Scribbs Julien is starting to get what the Platinum Rule is all about it seems, he he. Too bad he didn’t meet you, Sentient, here, a while ago. He could skip all the “transformation” mumbo jumbo and just get on with it. Lol. He is… and I applaud it. It should be noted that the problem, if any, is not where RSD is going per se, I mean these guys are growing up, they should be learning… it is the light that they and game were cast in by the dearly departed – the Pickup Uber Alles PUA crowd. I… Read more »

SFC Ton
3 years ago

I live in the occupied Confederate States.

Them fuckers in Congress aren’t mine

Trump is the 1st time I have voted in a federal election since Jessie Helms retired and Trump’s best recommendation was big city yankees hate him

Fuck Congress, fuck the POTUS, fuck the whole God damn thing

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

EhIntellect

Is this legit? (perhaps you know) and how precipitous is the impending fall of the Big Mikes of L.A.?

His company is legit and the strategy is sound, selling shovels to miner 49ers… they sell fertilizer and grow equipment… His big blitz into social media, I think was more about a book he was coming out with. No idea why he shut his account down.

http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2003/1110/146sidebar.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3218583/Meet-Big-Mike-multi-millionaire-marijuana-entrepreneur-trying-new-King-Instagram-wild-postings-scantily-clad-ladies-private-jets-cannabis.html

will be interesting to see how Jeff Sessions gets involved in state vs federal questions…

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Ah I see it is just rebranded https://www.instagram.com/bigmike/

scribblerg
scribblerg
3 years ago

@Eh and Fred – We did a deep dive on this topic a while back, after I’d read The Biology of Desire and recommended it to men here. Some of those guys reported back that it blew their minds as it had mine. A few tidbits, and of course, you guys may be up to speed, i mention this for other newbies here as the mythology around addiction is so pernicious, it has be shattered IMHO: – The medicalization of addiction, treating it as a “disease” does more harm than good. The author, Marc Lewis, Ph.D. and serious researcher on… Read more »

Agent P
Agent P
3 years ago

@scribs.
That was a great book, it should be required reading for RP in terms of understanding what happens under the hood with pleasure centers and all.

Culum Struan
Culum Struan
3 years ago

@EhIntellect – thanks dude, that looks like a useful framework to work out effort vs risk and put it in some kind of objective context.

Also I knew spinal surgery was no panacea but I had no idea the stats were so bad..

Agent P
Agent P
3 years ago

PS, Canucks now call “Indians” First Nations Peoples, or if they be way up North some time they are Inuit or the Innu.

scribblerg
scribblerg
3 years ago

err – should have proofed better. “…via a disease lens” should be “…versus a disease lens”.

newlyaloof
3 years ago

@Sentient, saw a vid RSD Madison did with Mike last year. Mike is a go-getter for sure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmAC-0L_yYI

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

Before I forget: Thank you for your comprehensive reply Blaximus.

“It tells me that there’s been some kind of massive miscommunication. My first thoughts are ” why does she think she can do this when she’s not *special*??”.”

I’m not angling for an answer per se, but do you know why she tested you?

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Culum The fact is, while I have a legit back problem, and a pretty serious one, a big chunk of the problem is simply that my hindbrain is trying to protect me and I’ve evolved protective habits over the years that restrict my activities and functional strength, even when the need for them is long gone. This is congruent with the current teaching on pain. Forge can discuss it further, but long story short pain is a signal that the brain generates to protect the body. It may be totally valid, as when a sprained ankle hurts so that you… Read more »

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

@ Eh From what I’ve learned reading here, she was attempting a frame grab. I used to believe in those days, that after a dozen or so bangs, a woman whose not stuck in her own head would’ve ” learned ” what her position was in the relationship, and played it. It was my responsibility to teach and show her. But for whatever reason ( maybe some misdirection or miscommunication on my part ) , she still tried to hijack the relationship. It happens sometimes with certain chicks. No harm, no foul. But it was certainly a red flag. She… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Lost Patrol I’ve never figured it out. Do concern trolls have genuine concern, or is the point to be disruptive with concern as a smoke screen? Are you kidding? “Oh, you guys are so smart and intense on your Topic A but I’m just concerned that you are not addressing my Topic B” or “Gosh, people, you are too intense, you need to mellow out a bit or people will think you are crazy“, etc. Bites is attempting to rebuild the mound. She’s an aging, 2nd stage feminist who can’t stand to see men getting even a toe off of… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Scribblerg Perhaps a certain pct of people will always be troubled, and seek the relief mind altering substances can provide. But we have to start with an understanding of the problem based on actual causes. Why does an addict want to medicate himself in the first place? Cosign. My experience with AA is via second hand, but I’ve heard similar things from old hippies about opiates of various kinds and other “stuff”. It’s self medication, somewhere down the bottom. Self medication with legal stuff is still self medication. Heck, self-medicating with sugar brings on diabetes, which kills a little bit… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Culum Also I knew spinal surgery was no panacea but I had no idea the stats were so bad.. Every single person I know who has had back / spine surgery has wound up either getting cut on again (“we’ll get it right this time) or wished they’d never been cut on at all. Every single one – the friend of my parents when I was a boy, the former Marine, my friend who was in the Air Force, the list goes on. Physical therapy is a lot more advanced than it was years ago, they incorporate what is known… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“feminist who can’t stand to see men getting even a toe off of the FI’s plantation” Finishing up paperwork in side office, lactating colleague enters and declares room hers. Me: Sure, one moment and I’ll be done. Her: That’s not gonna work. I have appts soon. I ignore it and continue… Her 15 seconds later and tone change: Listen EhIntellect, I have nowhere else I can do this… Me: Ya know what? You need to time. out. This isn’t a panic pumping room. Stop panicking. We’ll see if the FI presses harder. IDC, honestly. She’s tried to pull the “poor… Read more »

newlyaloof
3 years ago

@A R, one exception to the rule about that – it’s necessary to get cut open if a piece of the disc breaks off and gets lodged against the nerve. That piece has to come out or a person will get “mud foot” and have parts of his leg or foot become like a dead weight that they can’t control because of all the nerves that serve that area being on constant “on position.” for such a long time. EhIntellect may be able to talk more on specifics. You can have phantom pains, but when you go back and get… Read more »

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

“Don’t never let them cut you! Don’t never let them fuckin’ cut on you!” – former Marine I used to know, who had back surgery 3 times. Once in the military, twice from the VA.”

Cosign, Heh.

http://www.ebmconsult.com/articles/homunculus-sensory-motor-cortex

Dense Pacinian corpuscles, Meissner’s corpuscles increase pleasure sensations in enlarged areas of homunculus.

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

True, true. what you’re describing is motor loss and outcomes don’t get better toughing motor loss out. No virtue in that. That’s crippling and needs correction if one cares to maintain function. If a person will never leave the bed because of age or other dysfunction surgery might be irrelevant.

My comments focus generally on pain, and the individuality of all this is too complicated for even the entire neurosurgery community to conclusively defeat. Not that we’d want you to know that though.

newlyaloof
3 years ago

@EhIntellect, to my credit, I went 18 years without surgery after learning of the herniated disc, but then the piece broke off and I was forced under the knife. I, too, didn’t think surgery was the way to go until then. Knock on wood, only acts up about 1 or 2 times per year.

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

Newlyaloof @A R, one exception to the rule about that – it’s necessary to get cut open if a piece of the disc breaks off and gets lodged against the nerve. You’re beyond my knowledge base. I got no opinion, you and EhIntellect work that over, I’ll just read. Sure, my “don’t let them cut” rule is not universal, if I fall off of the roof and wind up with arm bones sticking out for sure I want an orthopedic cutter to put that back together – cut away, dude, stick titanium in where it’s needed. Ditto appendix blowing up,… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
Anonymous Reader
3 years ago

EhIntellect, that’s even a better image than the one I had in mind.
Bookmarked. Thanks.

Fred Flange, PhD, Jim Jones Univ.
Fred Flange, PhD, Jim Jones Univ.
3 years ago

@scrib Oh yes The Biology of Desire is quite interesting and I appreciate the congruence of the neuroscience with behavioral science. The behavioral stuff it’s what’s gold about it. But I still hold out that there are more organic tendencies – whether genetic or dispositional – which render some people more susceptible to addictive behavior, and giving them more difficulty in overcoming it (i.e., the reformed smokers who still have cravings though they’ve taken control and beaten the addiction back). I know that’s based on older literature which is not to be dismissed as totally off base because it’s older.… Read more »

Agent P
Agent P
3 years ago

Isn’t a “booger of desire” just a money shot?

newlyaloof
3 years ago

Happy Friday, gentlemen. Here’s some Friday fun that always makes me tear up with laughter:

EhIntellect
EhIntellect
3 years ago

Oh shit! It’s Friday the 13th.

You: Hey babe. It’s Friday the 13th. You superstitious?

Yes> Me too. I refuse to date thirteen-year-olds. Just to make sure, let me see your I.D. missy.

No> Me neither. But I dread a Friday the 13th more when it’s on a Monday.

theasdgamer
3 years ago

“Don’t never let them cut you! Don’t never let them fuckin’ cut on you!” – former Marine I used to know, who had back surgery 3 times. Once in the military, twice from the VA.” Reminds me of a guy I know…he had diabetes and developed gangrene in his right foot and wouldn’t get it cut off, so it spread up his leg and he had to get it amputated, but the doc took off the wrong leg (see! don’t never let them cut you!)…so he had to go back under the knife…of course, when he went to sue, the… Read more »

newlyaloof
3 years ago

@EhIntellect

You to girl: If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

newlyaloof
3 years ago

@EhIntellect

You: Hey babe. It’s Friday the 13th. You superstitious?
yes (You): Me too. I believe if a dude doesn’t flirt with girls, he’ll get blue balls.

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

Re Herniated discs – After the initial injury, I was in severe pain and walked around humped over for 9 months. I was on a steady diet of Percocet and Ibuprofen just to be able to halfway function. The pain was relentless, but the pain killer and anti inflammatory rendered it bearable for the most part. I’d lost all feeling in the left side of my left leg all the way down to my foot. My little toe was totally numb. Every couple of days sciatica would flare up and it felt like my left leg was literally on fire.… Read more »

Sentient
Sentient
3 years ago

Newly…. LOL love Vitaly… that is abundance mindset… stick in a thumb and pull out another plumb…

But seriously… look how the girls react to ZFG… so funny…

rugby11
rugby11
3 years ago

Going to Dance

Enjoy the best of yourself’s gentlemen.

SFC Ton
3 years ago

My back isn’t what it used to be, hard living takes it toll but walking helps a lot

So does tossing a med ball over my head, granny style. Weird, I know but you can feel all that shit getting right as you do it.

PullI get trucks helps too; pushing them helps my knees.

Most of my training these days is dumbshit like that but it keeps me going

Blaximus
Blaximus
3 years ago

@ Ton

Cosign.

I’ve taken to using the wife’s kettlebells. I used to throw them in the corner on my way to the bench, but now I swing them around for core exercise. It looks ridiculous, but it works.

Medicine balls are old school and they work. A bench ( my fave ) can’t activate too many muscles. This summer I’m gonna hit the pool with a vengeance.

SFC Ton
3 years ago

This will cause some warm and fuzzy feelings

http://5newsonline.com/2017/01/12/oklahoma-man-ordered-to-pay-child-support-despite-not-being-father/

Nothing new but a good reminder

Signor Farfalla
Signor Farfalla
3 years ago

Reading the essay here, it was impossible for me not to think of another very well-known manosphere institution/blog. The commentariat there learned their game, picked up some edgy political/racial viewpoints, and went rushing back to the pedestal of their white girls to get another shot at them. Same pedestal, different angle. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

dr zipper
dr zipper
3 years ago

sharp writing, Signor

Tarl
3 years ago

I’ve never been married, but if I was and my wife cut off the sex because she saw me as a beta, I would cheat. If she see’s you as a beta, she will never suspect anything right? On TRP this is what they call going “Red Pill Rambo”. If you go redpill properly then you can fix your marriage, get sex, and you will not have to cheat (jury is still out on whether or not that will work for me, but that’s the theory). If you don’t internalize TRP so that it’s natural, and you cheat thinking that… Read more »

Jafyk
Jafyk
3 years ago

This isn’t related to this post but I had to ask. I was just watching a movie and came across this recurring theme. So, I have to ask cos it’s been bugging me. Why is it that attached women are intent on inviting another male over to some function that involves their significant other (and in some cases their family) when one can sense that the S.O. isn’t down with the idea? For how in touch and sensitive women claim to be can they not pick up on this vibe from their partner (who often times begrudgingly goes along) or… Read more »

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