Environmental Stresses

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If there’s one Google search term that’s become synonymous with The Rational Male it’s the word ‘Hypergamy’. Seriously, Google it.

If you listen to my seminar lecture from the Man in Demand conference from last year (sidebar), you’ll get why I believe that Hypergamy is one of the most important factors driving our feminine-primary social order. I didn’t mention it in the lecture, but when I was writing the outline for that talk I titled my notes ‘Hypergamy; From the Micro to the Macro’. If you consider how women have evolved to be sexual selector or filters for what, on a subconscious level, is really directing the breeding course of the human race it behoves a man to understand the biochemical influences that predispose women to Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks.

One thing I get asked a lot about with respect to the hormonal nature of Hypergamy (ovulatory shift) is that most hormonal forms of birth control predispose women to the Beta Bucks side of Hypergamy because essentially their biochemistry is tricked into thinking it’s already pregnant.

I’ve covered this in the past, but I usually answer this by pointing out that the biological hardware and firmware of a woman still means her sexuality is cyclic while men’s is always-on. It may be that Hypergamy and ovulatory shift are less pronounced in a woman that’s on the pill, and even then women technically go off the pill on their placebo weeks, but the evolved mechanics don’t change. However, it’s no great secret that these mechanics become suppressed in women. This is just the cost of a women’s monopoly on a concealed form of birth control.

Milo Yianopolous generated a predictable outrage with his post Birth Control Makes Women Crazy, but it’s only pushing women’s indignation buttons because all his observations are true.

  • Birth control makes women fat
  • The hormones in birth control alters women’s voices to a sexually disadvantageous tone, evolutionarily speaking
  • Birth control distorts female subcoms that men consider sexy
  • It predisposes women to disregard their evolved sexual filtering mechanisms

There are other bullet points Milo covered in this article, however, the most important one I think ought to be considered here is:

Birth Control Makes Women Choose the Wrong Mates

It’s already established that going on the Pill makes you less attractive to men. But it also affects who you’re attracted to as well. Healthy, fertile women seek out men who are genetically different to them. Women on the Pill do the opposite, seeking out men who are closer to their own tribe.

Now, all that considered, when we introduce a variable like Vasalgel to the social mix it is possible that women’s sexual attitudes will progressively shift to a more natural state when and if the presumption of birth control falls mostly on men. Granted, most women who’re aware of Vasalgel at this point are enthusiastic about it. The common refrain is always the default of shaming men and how it’s about time men shoulder the “burden” of birth control , or how relieved they’d be for not having to remember to take a pill once a day and how they hate how it makes them feel.

This response from women is usually followed by, “But you could never trust irresponsible men to be honest about it, so women will still have to take the pill as a fail-safe for stupid and untrusted men.” So, at least initially, I’d have to be a bit skeptical that women’s birth control-influenced sexual habits and the social mandates that follow from them would be significantly impacted.

However, this also brings us to a point where we should consider how men and women in a monogamous or semi-monogamous state will have those relationships altered by a woman trusting a man enough, or confirming he’s on, with Vasalgel to the point that she abandons her own hormonal birth control. Hypothetically, consider this; a woman who was attracted to that man while under the influence of hormonal birth control now has her biochemistry revert back to a natural state.

There are quite a few studies that posit women’s hormonal birth control may be altering the course of human evolution. I’ve always argued that the root of women’s Hypergamous natures, their manifested behaviors, their sexual selection processes and even the rise of a feminine-primary social order can all be traced to women’s menstrual cycle and the extending behaviors inspired by it.

hormones_menstruation

For a more detailed analysis of how women’s menstruation and ovulatory shift influences women’s sexual natures and, more largely, how it influences Hypergamy, have a look at my essays You Friend Menstruation and Estrus respectively. From these posts, you’ll see that the latter half of women’s 28-day cycle is what I call the “Beta Phase” of women’s breeding preference, while the first 12 to 14 days of her ‘up cycle’ (proliferative phase) while she’s on build up to ovulation is the “Alpha Phase”.

Now imagine here that our hypothetical couple met while the woman had been on birth control for the better part of her adolescent and adult life. Her hormonal profile and subsequently her sexual selection predilections would follow along the line for progesterone in this graph. Thus, it would follow that her selecting this man was influenced by the behavioral set that progesterone predisposes her to – more Beta, more comforting, more rapport, more feminized physical features and more feminine (or feminine-identifying) sensibilities.

Once that guy goes on Vasalgel and affords her with the luxury of not needing hormonal birth control her hormonal profile and subsequent behaviors shift back to what evolution had found successful for women’s breeding for millennia. To put this into perspective, imagine the larger social implications of women shifting back to a natural hormone state. To be sure, this shift would be a gradual process, but as it stands now we have to account for the overwhelming degree of social control women are afforded in western(izing) societies today.

I don’t think it is too far a stretch to presume that the social engineering that’s led to the feminization of men today began around the time unilaterally female-controlled birth control became ubiquitous. I covered this in the Adaptation series of posts, but I think it needs to be added that the social power women wield today came as a result of this first shift towards hormonal birth control and the behavioral and psychological changes it’s wrought in women. Furthermore, men have consequently adapted to accommodate for this power shift as a result women’s shift in breeding strategies.

We now live in an age when women are expected to be Strong Independent® providers for themselves (however that’s achieved) and self-sufficient enough to make men’s provisioning relatively unnecessary, yet the characteristics of a hormonal profile of women on HBC (hormonal birth control) theoretically predispose them towards attraction to men who fit the, as Milo puts it, baby-faced ‘provider’ type.

Now consider that women who have been afforded this social power – power ceded to them from generations of feminized men who adapted to women’s hormonally influenced sexual strategies – shift back to the hormonal profile nature intended for them as a result of widespread unilaterally male-controlled BC. You get, at least initially, new generations of women who have the Beta Bucks side of the Hypergamy equation tied up nicely, but now, likely proudly, women shift back towards the extremes that Hypergamy and ovulatory shift predispose them to.

In the long term this might be good news for conventional masculinity on whole. Less Beta pandering, less ‘get in touch with your feminine side’ bullshit, more much needed male assertiveness, more conventionally male sensibilities and dominance.

Harold posted this in last week’s comment thread:

Women expect men to be dominant, problem is, society gives men no room to express it. You can’t be economically dominant because women can make their own money. Me, for example, I only know of one way to be dominant over a woman and that’s to use my god given physical strength. And I don’t say that as a good or bad thing, just pointing out something that is.

You know, I was on YouTube and I came across a Domestic violence video. And in the comments section, many young women left many of the same comments of “I wanted to leave, but it’s hard to do when you are in love”. And it made me think back over the last 20 something odd years of my life

I used to be the nice, beta provider type. And in every case, the same thing happened. Essentially I was used for what I could provide. Money, favors, a car to give rides. But not once did a girl ever fall in love with me because of the nice things I did for her. Yet at the same time, I see women professing their love for men who beat them.

These experiences have killed the nice guy inside of me and made me view women as objects to be used, especially the more I learn about hypergamy. The only exception, as far as I am concerned is a traditional woman who actively suppresses her hypergamous instincts in favor of the good guy. And shows it by her actions.

The sad truth is that the unleashing of female hypergamy is going to produce more ex nice guys who imitate the users and abusers women show that they want by her actions.

Harold’s experience and later disillusionment is a common one for men in the manosphere. However, what needs to be factored into his awakening is that his experience follows the exact scheme we can expect from women’s HBC influenced Hypergamy. For five generations now, feminized men progressively ‘get woke’ to the fact that what they’ve been taught is expected of them in order to be attractive to women are the Beta Phase attributes inspired largely by women’s hormonal imbalances. It’s when they come to realize, hopefully sooner than later, that those feminized characteristic are a detriment to their own sexual imperatives that this condition is exposed.

It’s important to consider the societal ramification that something like Open Hypergamy (even Open Cuckoldry) will mean in an era when women must look to the most Hypergamously desirable men and seek their approval if they are to breed with them after something like Vasagel becomes commonplace. Presuming Red Pill awareness, combined with women’s hubristic attitudes about Open Hypergamy spread as I believe they will, you will eventually come to a generation of highly desirable men with the awareness, power and the choice to deny undesirable women the satisfaction of their long term sexual strategy.

Whether or not the majority of Beta men will exercise this power is speculative, but the the fact remains that women’s Open Hypergamy will become more and more unignoarable to them and they will have a new determinative power women will have to adapt to and compensate for in their relating with men whom they hope to have children with.

In Milo’s article there’s a very damning comparative study that suggests the rise in U.S. divorce rates coincides directly with the advent of HBC for women.

divorce-pill

Exactly why there is such a close correlation between the rise of the Pill and the rise of divorce rates we can’t say with total certainty, but the relationship is stark. Possible explanations include: a lack of children leading to fewer reasons for couples to stay together, and… all of the items mentioned on the list above.

Though Milo is reluctant to speculate, I would suggest that this stark parallel isn’t the result of less child births (abortion rates are also commensurate with the invention of HBC), but rather it’s a result of the behavioral shifts HBC has worked in women’s breeding strategies paired with men adapting to them (i.e. mass normalization of men’s feminization). I think Milo is too kind in his suggesting a lack of children would lead to divorce, when the uglier truth is that women’s initiating 70%+ of all divorces today is the result of the Hypergamous control HBC empowers women with.

Environmental Impact

In chapter four of the book The Red Queen, Matt Ridley details how environmental factors, particularly social and population environments, have an influence on gender determination for humans and other higher order animals. A lots been written about R and K mating selection strategies in the manosphere so I’ll save that discussion for another post, but what was relevant to me (while I was listening to this chapter recently) was how socially created environmental stresses had an effect on what gender a society preferred a child be born to parents.

Contrary to popular belief a preference for boys over girls is not universal. Indeed, there is a close relationship between social status and the degree to which sons are preferred. Laura Betzig of the University of Michigan noticed that, in feudal times, lords favored their sons, but peasants were more likely to leave possessions to daughters. While their feudal superiors killed or neglected daughters or banished them to convents, peasants left them more possessions: Sexism was more a feature of elites than of the unchronicled masses.

[…]Lower down the social scale, daughters are preferred even today: A poor son is often forced to remain single, but a poor daughter can marry a rich man. In modern Kenya, Mukogodo people are more likely to take daughters than sons to clinics for treatment when they are sick, and therefore more daughters than sons survive to the age of four. This is rational of the Mukogodo parents because their daughters can marry into the harems of rich Samburu and Maasai men and thrive, whereas their sons inherit Mukogodo poverty. In the calculus of Trivers-Willard, daughters are better grandchildren-production devices than sons.

Needless to say, this chapter also covered the ‘one child’ policy enforced by China to address overpopulation and how for every 100 girls there are now 122 boys available. Beyond this, however, was the interesting hypothesis that depending on social and cultural stress present, preference for siring boys or girls has historically come in relation to which gender was more likely to make both the child and its parents’ lives easier as well as pass on its genetic legacy. There is even speculation that evolution has accounted for this in how our biochemistry changes to select for a boy or a girl in a given environment.

It’s an interesting aside to consider that until George Bush senior was in office, all prior Presidents had sons. Clinton, George W. Bush and Obama all have daughters. Granted, this is speculative, but also consider how HBC and the resulting feminine-primary social order since it was invented, has directed our culture to normalize empowering women while handicapping men – all in the name of egalitarian equalism of course.

At no time in history has it been more advantageous to be a woman in western(izing) cultures. Hannah Rosin acknowledged the advancement of women at the expense of men in The End of Men as far back as 2010. I add this here because it outlines the degree to which society has opted for the betterment of women, while simultaneously affirming the idea that men become more feminine since the time of the sexual revolution.

Is it mere coincidence that men have been encouraged to “get in touch with their feminine side”, to identify more like women, to alter their ways of communication to be more female-accommodating, and to redefine conventional masculinity as “toxic” while reinforcing a new feminine-correct definition of masculinity for men? Is it coincidence that 95% of all transgender children are boys being encouraged and affirmed by their parents and teachers to switch to being girls?

And is all of this coincidence in an era when the social condition is one that provides benefits and entitlements to girls; one in which teachers presume a feminine-correct bias in their teaching methods?

This of course is all speculative, but these are unignorable observations about our feminine-primary social order. I’m in no way implying that Vasalgel or its like will alter what already is in our social structure, but I will speculate that women’s physical and paradigm shift back from an HBC influenced mating methodology to a naturalistic one will eventually have larger societal implications.

I believe that the Red Pill men of today will be in the perfect position to exploit this, or to inform the next generations of men how to exploit this shift for themselves.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Mitch
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@sjf: Rollo:When you combine women’s opportunistic concept of love with a society that never holds them accountable for the ramifications of it, no matter who it impacts, you get generations of women who are simply not worth anything to men beyond sex. Yes, almost all of this stuff I get and see in a sort of meta-cultural way. I have noticed it to a much greater degree the last couple years that I’ve been single. I see it in a LOT of individual women, and I have noticed it more and more in the general media – actually, I’ve noticed… Read more »

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@ Mitch, I’m glad that the penny has dropped for you. It’s easy to conflate hypergamous women with the cluster B types. Your Ukrainian friend is probably just a cluster H broad as most women today have either no father at all while growing up or have some combination of weak bonds with weak BP fathers. This second group of women grow up watching their mother boss their father around the house and learn that men should adjust to the woman’s frame. They may even establish a decent bond with their father, but even then, if she grows up seeing… Read more »

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@Mitch Why would a coming up on 45 year old woman jeapordize a comfortable, secure future with a man that she genuinely likes, and does feel at least some chemistry for, to fuck the plumber? Because…hypergamy. Read all you can on it. I have a crazy ex who displays most of the BPD traits in spades. She dumped me 2 days before my birthday, told me she loved me, then when I walked away and ignored her came chasing back only to dump me by leaving me in a lurch 2 days before a big event she was supposed to… Read more »

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@sjf: Same thing with DJT. I think his alpha credo is an anti-MATRIX, anti-FI coup. I hope it holds something for masculine reclaimation for the Masculine Imperative. Very true. I could possibly pull the lever for this guy if he appeared to have at least *some* impulse control, and if he hadn’t expressed such enthusiasm for nuclear weapons. If he’s President, everywhere he goes, there will be a man beside him with a little suitcase that contains a computer allowing him to, on the spot, order the launch of nuclear weapons. Once an order to launch comes down from the… Read more »

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@Mitch

I don’t know that I’d call it her establishing Frame.

All female intersexual behavior centers around plausible deniability. Whether the excuse be a boyfriend, husband, or God himself, she’s only establishing Frame using an excuse that makes it not her fault she’s being a bitch to you. It’s a shit test. Pass it.

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@ Mitch,

Just remember this one thing in your dealings with women. To paraphrase: “A woman will do whatever you either can and/or won’t stop her from doing” – Rollo Tomassi.

It’s nothing personal and it’s not an indictment of women. It just is what it is.

Sun Wukong
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Case in point for my statement:

I have fucked very devout Christian women on the first date who you can be SURE gave exactly the same line you got to other guys before and after me. Be Alpha enough and you will out-tingle God himself in their minds. AWALT.

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@ Sun Wukong,

“I have fucked very devout Christian women on the first date who you can be SURE gave exactly the same line you got to other guys before and after me. Be Alpha enough and you will out-tingle God himself in their minds. AWALT.”

Yup. Good feelz and tingles is their God. Everything else is just a CHARADE and a shit test. You are spot on with that.

Colbert
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For hypergamy it’s always personalities over principals and perception over reality.

Lumpy
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@Dutchman, et al.

Hey gang, I’m working on getting the YaReally Archive back up. Work has been nuts the past year or so and the Archive hasn’t gotten the TLC it has needed.

I won’t let it die, I promise.

Colbert
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Correction:

…”can and/or won’t stop her from doing” – Rollo Tomassi.

Lol – for any of you knits out there: I meant “CAN’T and/or”…

Mitch
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If you guys wouldn’t mind indulging me one more time: A few of you have wondered about bpd in my woman. If you’re still reading (IRL, Colbert, et al) I’d be curious to hear what in my description prompted that. What I’m thinking now is that I should definitely work on establishing a strong frame with her – certainly sex in Italy is going to happen, or no go. But it must go way beyond that. I know that. I see that I need to control frame with her throughout the relationship. She’s a tough cookie, tho. But if she… Read more »

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@ colbert:

This second group of women grow up watching their mother boss their father around the house and learn that men should adjust to the woman’s frame.

This also seems very likely…

Mitch
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@colbert: The whole post an interesting analysis. I especially relate to the idea that whatever happens in our relationship is our fault – mostly because of choices we have made, scenarios we have accomodated, etc. Women do what they do because they are women having their own particular agendas. Nothing wrong with that, it just is. This has always been my mantra. Owning responsibility for what happens in your life is key. This tho: We have women to thank for our current civilization because, frankly, they nagged us and henpecked us to death to build it for them – lol.<… Read more »

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@ Sun Wukong:

I have fucked very devout Christian women on the first date who you can be SURE gave exactly the same line you got to other guys before and after me. Be Alpha enough and you will out-tingle God himself in their minds. AWALT.

Goddamn you! I actually believe you.

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@ Mitch, Regardless of whether she is cluster H or cluster B (it sure sounds to me that she is at the very least cluster H) you should be done with her. A previous commenter said you should go over there and “hit it and forget it”. That would be fine for him and I have no problem with that, but given your level of BP infatuation with her (don’t deny it Mitch!), I would suggest that you just MOVE ON. I can see your hamster spinning in your own head my friend. Your rationalizing your own lust for her.… Read more »

Mitch
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@colbert

Fuck. I don’t know. Good video tho.

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@ Mitch,

School is out Mitch. If I pontificate and bloviate any more I’ll start catching flak – lol. You know what I think. I hope you make the right decision. If you don’t, you will have only yourself to blame. One last video for you. This one is for the road to the abyss, if you will, because she will likely take you there:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrKEVZcSxNM&w=560&h=315%5D

Good luck

Mitch
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It’s hard to keep up with such a prolific group, but @OS, great story: GUYS! So if you take on the female role and put kids before money, status – you get the power. The courts cannot discriminate against you if you do the stay at home job well. My kids are both well adjusted and in prestigious universities. They saw how she emotionally abused me and look down on her. Taking care of the kids helped me have a strong relationship with them. My method did not help me get a decent wife, but id did keep me in… Read more »

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This is her. For you fuckers out there: do NOT dox her. Ok, she’s not a unicorn, but…

Mitch
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Damn, that didn’t work. I’m old and don’t know how to post a pic…

Culum Struan
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@Mitch – congratulations. Super rare for a guy to challenge his own preconceptions, take advice on board and take action to test the advice and accept what has happened. There’s a whole (fun) world of Game to learn next to improve your skills with women – this is a good place to learn that. And don’t post pictures of her – the doxxing risk isn’t worth it. @Everyone else – what’s happened to the YaReally Archive? Have the Men in Black tracked YaReally down and taken him away to the FI Re-education Camps? @Sentient – I totally get that experts… Read more »

Playdontpay
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@ Colbert

“Good feels and tingles is their God, everything else is just a CHARADE and a Shit test”.

The true nature of women and the red pill summed up in one sentence.

Outstanding! Didn’t think it could be done, but you just did it.

Lazy H
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Mitch, regarding BPD, your story about fighting on the _first week_ with your woman and all the terminating talk from her brought back a memory from years ago when I was involved with a BPD woman. I had been with her for a few weeks when my brother’s wife asked me how it was going with her. I mentioned something about difficulties, to which she responded something along the lines “I though relationships were just pure bliss for the first half a year at least”. That comment snapped me out of it. Up to that point I had been rationalizing… Read more »

Culum Struan
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Re BPD – the subject has been discussed here many times before, and while I have no personal experience, something YaReally said made a lot of sense to me.

It really doesn’t matter whether she’s technically BPD as diagnosed by a psychiatrist or not. For our purposes, it’s just shorthand for saying “she’s crazy, stay away”.

Truman
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@Lumpy
Good to hear! It’s a great service you’re doing keeping that archive going. Hopefully others have backed it up in case you get hit by a bus etc.

@Culum
See Lumpy’s comment above. It’s him that maintains it, not yareally. Pretty sure the two of them don’t know each other beyond their interactions here and at CH.

Culum Struan
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@Lumpy & @Truman – ah I hadn’t seen that.

Thanks a lot – kudos to maintaining that archive Lumpy, it’s hugely useful.

Some guys made a PDF compilation of YaReally’s posts as well and that’s floating around but the Archive is the most uptodate and comprehensive thing there is.

DisgruntledEarthling
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@Mitch
“I need to read some more Rollo essays. And re-read some others.”

It takes about 3 re-reads for this stiff to sink in… And even then, old farts like me need more

freebornyossarian
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Rollo, reading your work here at TRM and Preventative Medicine has been very eye opening, and it has helped me out immensely (as well as being somewhat difficult to swallow). As with reading Marcus Aurelius and Seneca, it has been important to reflect on the implications about my character and behaviour that have arisen from the theories and observations you’ve set out. I have also begun reading the comments section- I haven’t caught up on everyone’s names and positions yet, but I have enjoyed reading Blaximus and Forge. For a long time my goal was to establish a stable career… Read more »

YaReally
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@Klem “Did you check out BD’s latest post about non-monogamous mariage? Very timely hehehe” Very: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2016/10/10/give-nonmonogamous-marriage/ Blackdragon has come to the same conclusions I have because he understands how attraction works and can look at things objectively instead of emotionally where, objectively, following the princples we all know and love about pickup and attraction, what we’re saying makes blatantly obvious sense. And he’s not even really factoring in social media culture or Hypergamy helping turn an oLTR into a pLTR in that explanation. And his first paragraph of that article is spot on. Busy right now so I don’t have… Read more »

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Also before I vanish: @all @Culum @Hank @Forge @Sun @etc Halloween is coming up, literally THE sluttiest time of the year with not just NO consequence for girls to be slutty but MASSIVE SOCIAL PRESSURE to BE slutty, and you can open EVERY chick with the EASIEST opener in the WORLD built into the holiday: “Hey, I like your costume” (or in my case “lol wtf are YOU supposed to be?” lol) This year Halloween falls on a Monday so the hotties will be costumed up Fri, Sat, Sun, and Mon. That’s 4 nights in a row of slutty costumes… Read more »

EhIntellect
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Update on my previous post on “Spare the Rod”: Dateline October 12, Milady spends 5 minutes telling my out-loud-laughing 16 y.o. son not to be like his asshole dad. 15 minutes later in bed she’s banging me telling me she can’t stay away from me, wants me in her always and (I shit you not) says “I don’t know what’s happening here. I can’t explain it. It’s all you!”

Fellow travelers, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. Her menstruation cycle=your friend.

Sentient
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Culum I totally get that experts aren’t always right and have their own agenda etc, so I’m willing to believe that the polls and prognosis about Trump being routed following the last week of revelations is wrong. That said, accepting that the mainstream view could be wrong isn’t the same thing as a positive argument for WHY it is wrong That’s the thing though Culum, where would one get the actual data to make a counter argument when all that is being published and discussed and analyzed is a deliberately false narrative…? They are all in on the game… Consider… Read more »

newlyaloof
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@YaReally, that last comment of yours is quite inspirational. No matter what you disagree about with some of the other dudes here, nobody can deny that your comment was a massive motivational speech. Thanks man.

having a bad day
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@Mitch I now think I came here because my subconscious was telling me I was about to jump off a cliff, and I’d better make damn sure where I’m going to land. Seriously, thanks for sticking with me. props on finally putting yourself first in your MPoO… that’s a big step and it takes awhile to finally accept that it’s ok to do that… just some points… to further the ‘teachable moment’…lol I sent her a text this morning that basically said I am going to fuck you in Italy. I love you, and this is what’s going down. We’ve… Read more »

Truman
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@yareally
speaking of manosphere chodes, you’ll probably enjoy the “Alt-Right Dogs Trailer” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YkWvIkED0s

Your friends Matt Forney and Davis Aurini playing at being in Reservoir Dogs.

having a bad day
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@Lumpy

Hey gang, I’m working on getting the YaReally Archive back up. Work has been nuts the past year or so and the Archive hasn’t gotten the TLC it has needed.

I won’t let it die, I promise.

thanks…

good luck!

Blaximus
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Hey YaReally, good to see you. I’m busy as fuck too, but I wanted to say that I didn’t get ” blown out ” on anything. I posed a question and got like 4 or 5 responses. Not a blowout IMO. My position still stands. I don’t see what you are seeing, and neither do a majority of men I know, including the young cats. No thousands of orbiters. No celeb vacations. None of the stuff you claim EVERY hot chick has going on. So again, I’m trying to figure out why some guys see this, and I don’t, nor… Read more »

Blaximus
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Above should read ” ….celebs offering them “, not ” depends offering them “.

kfg
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I have the balls, so I make the babies.

While it is not reasonable to expect all men to walk out, neither is it reasonable to expect all women to forgo babies.

There’s this phenomena known as The Balance of Power.

kfg
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You can adapt to the environment as does a slave, or you can adapt as does a warrior.
The former seeks the best conditions of capitulation, the latter the best conditions for a fight.

Which route you take is a choice.

Blaximus
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But be forewarned, women will text their girlfriends and fuckbuddies and laugh at you if you choose to be masculine and set boundaries.

Women laughing. A warrior’s toughest opponent yet.

Mitch
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@kfg:

I have the balls, so I make the babies…..There’s this phenomena known as The Balance of Power.

Sperm banks, guys who happily offer their genetic material gratis, via natural methods or not:

http://www.npr.org/2014/07/12/330749214/looking-for-free-sperm-women-may-turn-to-online-forums

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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@ kfg

Evidently in 2016, it’s now men’s jobs to figure out a woman’s frame, and then proceed to integrate one’s self into it.

Winning.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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@ Mitch

In 5 decades, I don’t know of one single woman that’s used a sperm banks services. Ever.

Again, I’m trying to understand where all of this is happening in great numbers, and why everyone I know, or have known are not experiencing the exact same phenomenon.

There must be reasons.

People tend to point to extreme examples as the norm. I know this from personal experience over a lifetime. It becomes pervasive because people tend to lose objectivity. They create their own personal bubbles where their views are reinforced.

freebornyossarian
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If I’m correct in my interpretation of YaReally’s statements it’s not that your job is to integrate into her frame, but that the long-term advice regarding establishing and holding Frame for an LTR is less effective (I’m guessing he argues for totally ineffective?) over a long enough timescale than it would have been pre social media etc. I can’t speak to how valid that is without more first hand data. What answer is there other than continuing to hold your Frame and accepting a higher attrition rate due to the conditions of the market?

scray
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scray
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@ya You don’t actually spend your weekend holed up in your apartment (or going OUT in public places or around her friends or to social events etc) with a <25yo 8+/10s in 2016, hanging out and watching their phone blow up all weekend on the nightstand beside your bed and going through their texts with them as they show you what you're competing with. honestly this. And it extends to a lot of the other discussions about monogamy, marriage, etc. it’s. OVER! Like holy fuck hot women just do NOTHING and the WORLD is at their fingertips. LITERALLY at any… Read more »

kfg
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kfg
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“I’m guessing he argues for totally ineffective?”

He likes to highlight the extreme position, to the point of reductio ad absurdum, then prop it up with strawmen.

As he is essentially a post-modern style debater, relying on emotion stirring rhetoric, the absurdity he reveals, speaking logically, is at least as often his own, rather than his opponents.

He is quite easy to agree with, as in that case he stipulates freely, but he is impossible to disagree with, because he launches into this sort of thing:

kfg
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kfg
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“What answer is there other than continuing to hold your Frame and accepting a higher attrition rate due to the conditions of the market?”

What other answer is needed?

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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@ freeborn The point is that if a man is struggling to hold his frame, he’s doing it wrong. Evidently he’s faking it. I don’t get this argument concerning frame. it’s like saying a man might forget to breathe because he’s in a LTR. The idea that a man must except whatever a woman or women are doing, and it’s useless to ever correct them ( because they will laugh at you and jet off with a billionaire orbiter ) is playing into a feminine frame. That IS the data right there. So what’s RP for??? What’s the use of… Read more »

freebornyossarian
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kgf + Blaximus. Yes, that was the logical conclusion I came to- that it’s simply not worth the compromise even if it lowers your attrition rate. But I will freely admit that I’m keyboard jockeying here, and if the attrition rate is 100% then it makes LTRs impossible. I’ll see for myself, I’m sure.

Rollo – Thank you- I have been mindful of this recently as I have had IOIs from women in relationships looking to monkey branch. It is good to remember that this is nothing to do with my personal qualities, but everything to do with their mating schedule.

SJF
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SJF
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@Freeborn One thing you don’t want to do is use your introverted nature as a crutch, buffer or excuse to not socialize well. If you turn your interactions into a game, as in PUA game, then that will offset your tendency to have energy suck out of you by socially interacting. You said: “though I enjoy the performative aspect of small groups and sparring verbally with people”. Gaming women becomes fun when you get more mastery over it. Remember to be fun and add value when socializing. YaReally has a nod to this idea that introversion is not a set… Read more »

rugby11
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rugby11
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Talk about environmental stress.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a0nL8kxwzBM

Novaseeker
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Novaseeker
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Some things have changed and others not as much as you think. Social media is new, and so it is a change, as is the smartphone use. It’s a broader change, though. Broadband porn on smartphones is also new and is also having a huge impact on the sex game in various ways. So some things are new, yes, but other things are not. The hot women getting whatever they want at any time is not new — that’s been going on for a long, long time, at least as long as the OMGs have been around. The difference is… Read more »

Sentient
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Sentient
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1. “Where are you going to, my pretty maid? Where are you going to, my pretty maid?” “I’m going a-milking, Sir,” she said, “Sir,” she said, “Sir,” she said, “I’m going a-milking, Sir,” she said. 2. “Shall I go with you, my pretty maid?” “Yes, if you please, kind Sir,” she said, “Sir,” she said, “Sir,” she said, “Yes, if you please, kind Sir,” she said. 3. “What is your fortune, my pretty maid?” “My face is my fortune, Sir,” she said, “Sir,” she said, “Sir,” she said, “My face is my fortune, Sir,” she said. 4. “Then I can’t… Read more »

Sentient
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Sentient
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http://images.npg.org.uk/800_800/0/4/mw166804.jpg

Not just Cash… or fucks… but real live commitment…

Hawkes was married five times:

Major Anthony Ashley-Cooper, Lord Ashley (married 3 February 1927 – 28 November 1934)
Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., American actor (married 7 March 1936 – 12 December 1939, his death)
Edward Stanley, 6th Baron Stanley of Alderley (married 18 January 1944 – 1948)
Clark Gable, American actor (married 20 December 1949 – 21 April 1952)
Prince Dimitri Djordjadze, hotel executive and race-car driver (married 1954)

not a bad haul…. for a near 8…

newlyaloof
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newlyaloof
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@YaReally Halloween:

I’m thinking about what I’ll say for each costume I expect to see. Any favs of yours you care to share?

sfer
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sfer
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There is some evidence that introverts feel more authentic when they are acting extroverted: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/12/faking-it/382246/ “psychologists from Wake Forest University found that subjects sometimes reported feeling more authentic when they acted “out of character” during activities in the lab, such as playing Twister or debating medical ethics. Introverts felt “truer to themselves” when they were acting like extroverts; ditto disagreeable people who were acting agreeable, and careless people who were acting conscientiously. The study concluded that, by actively trying to adopt these traits, individuals might be able to “improve their mental health” [7]. Curiously, the researchers maintained that subjects who… Read more »

kfg
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kfg
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From a version at least 100 years older: “I’ll beg you’ll withdraw and don’t tease me I cannot consent unto thee, I like to live single and airy, Till more of the world I do see, New cares they would me embarrass Besides, sir, my fortune is low, Until I get rich I’ll not marry,” Says cailín deas crúite na mbó. “An old maid is like an old almanack, Quite useless when once out of date, If her ware is not sold in the morning, At noon it must fall to low rate, The fragrance of May is soon over,… Read more »

Andy
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Andy
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“an update of the Watts philosophy”

It’s not the “Watts” philosophy, it’s the only philosophy.

Along those lines, just finishing up The Power of NOW. Amazing book, highly recommended. I liked Radical Honesty too, but the free pdf is almost better than the book IMO.

Sentient
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Sentient
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oh well remind me again KFG just how many ships did a certain woman’s visage launch? Pre cell phone era if I recall?

Sentient
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Sentient
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Newly

“I’m thinking about what I’ll say for each costume I expect to see. Any favs of yours you care to share?”

Anyone grabbed your pussy yet tonight? [and begin]

Sentient
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Sentient
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoEYY5TwRnw

LOL…. What was Trump going on about again?

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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@ Novaseeker ” The hot women getting whatever they want at any time is not new — that’s been going on for a long, long time, at least as long as the OMGs have been around. The difference is the trickle-down to the lower women (say 6s and 7s), where things have changed a bit in the intervening decades. But hot women have always had carte blanche in life since the time OMGs were younger as well — that isn’t new.” Oh Jesus Christ Thank you for these comments. All of the new for 2016 talk was getting so repetitious.… Read more »

trackback

[…] arise in the comment threads. A new(?) reader, Mitch, dropped in to recount his affair with a Ukrainian woman he’d become enamored with, emphasis […]

Colbert
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Colbert
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newlyaloof
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newlyaloof
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@Sentient, LOL hard! See, that’s what I’m talking about. Short circuit their brains right off the bat.

I thought of one for the cat girls.

Me to cat girl: “Let me guess. You’re a … dog?”

kfg
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kfg
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL6KgbrGSKQ

And here she is, “The Most Beautiful Girl in Vienna,” in the prime of her youthful bloom:

comment image

sfer
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sfer
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Williams James’ Variety of Religious Experience’s states that there are two main religious temperaments the “once born” and the “twice born”. The “once born” are religious optimists who believe that suffering is an illusion (like the ” Power of NOW”) and the “twice born” are those who believe that suffering or hitting bottom is needed before an authentic religious experience can take place (like in AA). My gut feeling is that even a small exposure of “once born” ideas will resonate with the “once born” and a small exposure of “twice born” ideas will resonate with the “twice born”. You… Read more »

kfg
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kfg
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“Let me guess. You’re a … dog?”

Refine that a bit to, “What breed of dog is that?” Say it absolutely straight. Make her brain have to skip a beat before she can interpret it as a joke.

newlyaloof
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newlyaloof
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@Sentient,

Me to cat girl: “Let me guess. You’re a cat in heat.”

Sentient
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Sentient
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Newly

Make American Pussy Great Again!

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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The online porn accessible to guys on a myriad of devices is in ways also responsible for the dickishness displayed by a lot of women.

The result of all of this easily had pseudo excitement has served to dull the senses, sexually, of great many young males. Makes them lazy.

Lazy as fuck.

It also skews their perceptions regarding women negatively ( for them, that is…).

So talk of online porn and virtual porn use by males will only serve to make their positions in the SMP ever weaker.

The remaining men not addicted to these things are gonna drown in snatch. Lol.

newlyaloof
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newlyaloof
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@Sentient. lol again.

Me to cat girl: You can’t drink tonight though.
Girl: Why not
Me: your kittens are waiting to suck on your teets. Can’t be giving them Blind Russians. Did I mention I love Blind Russians.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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@ freebornyossarian Oh, and forgive my bad manners: Welcome to TRM brother. Nice to have you here. Now… ” kgf + Blaximus. Yes, that was the logical conclusion I came to- that it’s simply not worth the compromise even if it lowers your attrition rate. But I will freely admit that I’m keyboard jockeying here, and if the attrition rate is 100% then it makes LTRs impossible. I’ll see for myself, I’m sure.” You don’t have to necessarily raise your attrition rate by not compromising so much. Remember that there is always more than one way to skin a cat.… Read more »

Höllenhund
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This is what we’re up against. The huge increase in male suicide in developed countries, the “grass-eater” phenomenon in Japan, Sheryl Sandberg sharing Facebook data on “gender and leadership by women” with Clinton’s campaign, the entire foreign policy establishment recalibrating towards “soft” issues like “gender rights”. Open hypergamy is here to stay for a long while I’m afraid and its being pushed relentlessly and unceasingly by elite decision makers at the top. The question is why? I believe it’s because of a fatally mistaken belief that a matriarchal society would be more peaceful and harmonious than a patriarchy. If women… Read more »

kfg
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kfg
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@Höllenhund: “Men generally don’t even bother to compete. What are they supposed to compete for anyway?”

What would you do if you were free to compete for whatever you wanted to?

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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” What would you do if you were free to compete for whatever you wanted to?”

You mean, I’m not already??

Novaseeker
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Novaseeker
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HH — Well, keep in mind that, as Blax notes, the ubiquity of online porn and its accoutrements has the impact of dulling the sexual competitiveness of men in terms of dulling their interest in competing for sex to begin with. Japan is a good case study in this because Japan is marinating in porn and the assorted sex industry add-ons, and has been doing so for years. There are other factors going on in Japan as well, such as the economic stagnation there, as well as the growing disinterest in women in getting married at all there, but the… Read more »

freebornyossarian
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Thanks for the welcome. Just want to clarify that I don’t believe that things are as bad as YaReally argues, but I was taking his argument to the extreme to see if it would change my response to things. In the thought experiment, even if it was 100% true, I would still not want to compromise or pander to certain behaviours, and if that led to a life without an LTR then that’s an acceptable price. “Never compromise, even in the face of Armageddon.” I also have a bad habit of bloviating as though I know what I’m talking about,… Read more »

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Sheesh. I’d better just go home and mow…er…I mean eat the lawn then.

othergrain
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othergrain
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Blax “Theory being put forth that by not compromising results in a 100% attrition rate is unproven. That’s the keyboard jockeying right there. To convince yourself before actually trying it, that it will hopelessly fail always because ALL WOMEN, every. single. one. will reject a man that won’t compromise himself to the FI is not logical at all.” Your concern was addressed here: “If you had high enough value to her that this tactic would teach her a lesson, she wouldn’t be ON her phone in the first place, at worst she would be apologizing profusely for having to respond… Read more »

Höllenhund
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@Novaseeker

And how is any of that supposed to lead to the dystopia of rising male violence that Jeremy has envisioned?

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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@ othergrain ” Your concern was addressed here: “If you had high enough value to her that this tactic would teach her a lesson, she wouldn’t be ON her phone in the first place, at worst she would be apologizing profusely for having to respond to the text from her dying grandmother and worrying that it’ll mean she loses you. The scenario you guys recommend a guy walk out on is a scenario that only exists when that guy doesn’t have enough value for her to give a shit that he’s walking out.”” Of course I’ve been trying to get… Read more »

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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@ othergrain Oh yeah, just thought I’d mention ( again ), I don’t know one man irl that agrees with your seniments, and before you go all ” old man ” on me, many of them are in their 20’s. I’ve talked about the things Yareally says are undeniable gospel facts, like you anxiously cosign, and they all look at me like I had 2 heads. So again, my main point stays the same. I’m not seeing what he’s relating and I’m trying to figure out why that is. He or you can’t convince me to not believe my own… Read more »

SJF
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SJF
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@Freeborn “I will need to get his (Alan Watt’s) books.” This is a start: http://www.menantol.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/AlanWatts_TheBook.pdf It actually might be even more productive to just Google reviews of his books for synopses. https://www.google.com/search?q=review+of+Alan+Watt%27s+the+book+on+the+taboo+about+knowing+who+you+are&oq=review+of+Alan+Watt%27s+the+book+on+the+taboo+about+knowing+who+you+are&aqs=chrome..69i57.20776j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#q=review+of+Alan+Watts+the+book+on+the+taboo+about+knowing+who+you+are The fourth one in that last link “7-profound-lessons-from-the-books-of-alan-watts” gives perspective on what he is trying to get across. The main thing to do is to free yourself via “Eastern Mysticism” tactics to actually not be afraid to engage in life and not buffer every damn thing. To actually exercise your free will without the little thing called cognition that humans were blessed with. To have the mastery to… Read more »

Anonymous Reader
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Blaximus In 5 decades, I don’t know of one single woman that’s used a sperm banks services. Ever. How do you know what you know? C’mon, do you really think that women are going to be public about that? Or are they just going to keep it quiet and any baby they have…just…happened? I personally know of two never-married women who are mothers, both in the academic world. One of them probably went the sperm bank route, based on her personality. The other? Not sure, but there’s this woman I know who is a distant cousin — she had /… Read more »

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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” Not to start up a tangent, but…last time I was in Oregon there were entire towns with no black people in sight. Lots of Scandanvian looking types. So if I lived there, and I was to say “LOL, whut’s all this talk about cops killin’ black men, I never seen that and everyone I know says the same thing would you find that to be a convincing argument of any kind? It’s an obvious logical fallacy, right? ” Problem with that analogy is that I am not ” locked into ” any one place. Never have been. Seen life… Read more »

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Oh, btw..

” Ditto the lesbians. How many lesbian couples with children do you know? ”

I know 4 lesbian couples. Only one has children. I even know the father. I respectfully turned down the offer to impregnate.

Anonymous Reader
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Say, Blaximus, less than a week ago I put out a dinky FR just on phones, based on my observation of three (that’s 3) different bars near a college campus. Lemme add to that, yesterday I was in a coffee joint after 5 PM. About 20 – 25 people in the place. Half on some device; laptop (I confess!), tablet or phone. 30-something Asian woman with a boy of maybe 3 along side, she on her big phone, he on a small phone. I opened a couple of people just in conversation, and it’s like this: eye flick up –… Read more »

Anonymus Reader
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Blaximus
I know 4 lesbian couples. Only one has children. I even know the father.

It’s cheaper that way….for the girls.

I respectfully turned down the offer to impregnate.

Same here, for various reasons, some philosophical / ethical, and of course the very, very practical….cheaper for the girls.

But say, you really don’t know any lesbians that have gone the sperm bank route? That’s interesting.
Maybe it’s a college-bubble-world / tech-bubble-world thing.

Blaximus
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@ AR ” So where’s that FR from Seton Hall partyworld? Eh?” Party Friday night. I’m busy all this weekend ( my first weekend off in a month ). ” I opened a couple of people just in conversation, and it’s like this: eye flick up – (talk) – eyes back down to phone – pause – eye flick up (talk). This is fairly typical in conversing with under 25’s now. Not the “my earbuds are IN” grumpy teenagers, either. They are in a different world. ” I don’t deny that young folks stare into their phones, but what I’ve… Read more »

Blaximus
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@ AR

” But say, you really don’t know any lesbians that have gone the sperm bank route? That’s interesting.
Maybe it’s a college-bubble-world / tech-bubble-world thing.”

And that’s what I am trying to parse. There’s got to be an explanation. I just don’t have enough data from both sides to come to a decent conclusion.

Anonymous Reader
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Blaximus Problem with that analogy is that I am not ” locked into ” any one place. Never have been. Except when you get off on the “I’ve never seen it, so….” tangent. Then it looks a lot like “locked into one place”. Nothing personal, it just looks that way. Seen life from different angles and perspectives. Cool. But not every angle or perspective. Just like all the rest of us, right? One useful attribute to me of this site is reading other angles / perspectives I’ve never had and in fact cannot have. I can’t ever grow up black… Read more »

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Project for the rest of the month: any time I talk with a man obviously under 30, ask him “Do you lift?” and see where that goes, and also “Do women put their phone down to talk with you”? Not necessarily in that order, either.

The challenge will be to actually follow through, and to keep some kind of notes, because I have a good memory and I’m also lazy.

I’ve got an hypothesis to test. Karl Popper would surely slam my methodology, but it’s a start.

Blaximus
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@ AR

Lol. I’m really not trying to be an asshole.

You’re right, I haven’t seen life from every perspective, but I’ve seen a whole lot of it that most people I run across have barely a clue about.

That’s why my wife learns new shit about me and my travels in life, every month or so….for 18 years+. I gave up on a bucket list a long time ago.

But as scrib warned me once, maybe at times I can be a loudmouth.

So overlook any loud-mouthishness.

othergrain
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“If you really, really think the ” talk ” of being in her frame is bullshit, then you don’t except that RP is valid, right?” Wrt this texting issue, I think it’s a bit of an overreaction… “Deserve her??? Wtf???” It’s that Martin Monroe quote all (and when I say all, I don’t mean every last one on the planet) the girls love to spout… “No. The disconnect is that guys are still operating in a feminine primary frame and justifying it by being overly concerned with what the woman thinks, along with her girlfriends and anybody else.” So wanting… Read more »

Blaximus
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” So wanting her to want to see me again is operating in her frame?” it is, depending on how you go about it. Your mindset. ” So stop flying off the handle accusing me of being plugged in, denying RP truths, just because I’m telling you what I see. I’m not the one claiming to have the solution, you are. For all your talk about people dismissing you as an old man, you sure are quick to dismiss others.” I don’t fly off the handle. And no, you don’t claim to have the solution, because if you think capitulation… Read more »

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