Trust Issues

I was driving with a friend of mine and his wife to a promo last month. The parking at this particular gig was packed so it made sense to take one car and as I sat in the back seat I observed the behaviors and connected them to the conversation his wife and he were having while we drove. He was driving as well as any other guy I know; observant, careful, efficient, casual, basically a good driver, I didn’t even give his driving much mind. However, judging from the nervousness and fidgety behavioral tics of his wife you’d think he was drunk and reckless.

She clung tightly to the “oh shit” handle you see above the passenger-side window in most SUVs today. Her body language was one of fear trying to maintain polite composure, but every time we’d slow for traffic or a stop she would gesture with her hands as if she were bracing herself for impact. She simply did not trust her husband in the driver’s seat. She’d insist he switch lanes miles ahead of a turn so as to be ready to make the turn, or she’d coyly ask him to slow down when we were on the highway.

I see this a lot in couples where the power dynamic is one where the woman is the tacit authority of the relationship. These two were a textbook example. The buzz word term for it is ‘passive aggressive’ behavior, but that behavior is prompted by a root-level influence of women’s security need. My friend, being the Beta he is, made every attempt to calm his wife’s fears by accommodating her passive (and some not so passive) posturing and requests. It still wasn’t enough. She simply doesn’t trust the man she’s been married to for 10 years with her safety – regardless of his actions.

Now, from a Red Pill perspective, it’s important to bear in mind that women are always looking for an emotional rush whether positive or negative. I detail this in Indignation but in the absence of indignation, women will actively create it for themselves. Any PUA worth his salt knows that leaving an emotional impression on a woman is a key to seduction. Some men can do this effortlessly and often unaware depending on the social context and circumstances he surrounds himself with. These are guys we think are ‘naturals’ even though the learning process and the trial, error, reward mechanisms of it for him are just an internalized part of his personality. However, making this emotional impression can be learned, expressed ‘naturally’ and it can be internalized.

When we look at the dual nature of Hypergamy we tend to focus primarily on the Alpha Fucks side of women’s sexual strategy. For obvious reasons, it’s the part guys tend to have the most interest in, and since seduction is the key to STRs and LTRs, it’s also the part guys need to develop most. It’s tough for most Blue Pill men to behave counter to what their conditioning has taught them. Just like my friend’s driving here, most guys believe that comfort, trust, rapport, friendship, appeasement, and generally self-sacrificing are what’s at the heart of a good relationship. All of course based on the mystical “open communication” trope.

Selfish vs Self-Interest

Vox Day had an interesting back and forth with Kitten Holiday about this dynamic this weekend:

https://twitter.com/voxday/status/762307577560563712

For men who’ve been conditioned to believe that the key to success with women is to play nice and solve women’s problems for them with patient understanding, suggesting selfishness is attractive to women is counterintuitive. However, agreeableness and humility in men have been associated with a negative predictor of sex partners. So is it selfishness that makes a guy attractive or arousing?

I’ve suggested in the past that it is actually men who dare to place themselves at the center of their lives who make the most significant emotional impact upon women. This emotional impression is a byproduct of men who make themselves their first priority and when this prioritization becomes an internalized second nature to a man we say that he’s made himself his Mental Point of Origin.

I’m clarifying this here because it’s easy to conflate ‘enlightened self-interest’ with “selfishness”. A common criticism among the MGTOW set is that a man investing himself into anything with the express purpose of attracting women is vanity or wasted effort. However, it’s defining the point where this personal investment in oneself crosses over into having the effect of being an attractive trait to women that needs some more clarification. I covered this in Crisis of Motive, and unfortunately, it’s a line that’s subjective to the man who’s invested himself in virtually anything that uniquely benefits him and is attractive/arousing for women.

So we have two countermanding imperatives here. Men are conditioned, personally and publicly, to believe that niceness, comfort, and trust are the keys to success with women (whom we are told will have an affinity and appreciation for it). All of these Blue Pill qualities are pro-social attributes, yet in practice, in the real world, we observe men with anti-social, ‘selfish’ interest are rewarded with women’s attention. Self-interested men make a more significant emotional impression.

When we contrast this with the two aspects of women’s sexual strategy we see that the Blue Pill (pro-social) traits align with the Beta Bucks side of Hypergamy, while the ‘selfish’ (anti-social) aspects align with the arousing Alpha Fucks desires of women. For the Blue Pill invested man, it’s baffling to see how ‘selfish’ men are rewarded with intimacy, genuine desire, and sex. What they lack is a complete understanding of women’s dual sexual natures.

“So I gotta be an asshole to get women to notice me? Chicks really dig jerks?”

I’ve been reading this response from newly unplugged nice guys for as long as I’ve been writing. It’s the binary response I’ve come to expect from guys still on the fence with regard to Red Pill awareness, but it goes back to the negative associations they have with making themselves their own mental point of origin. It’s ‘selfishness’ not self-interest and this is exactly the opposite of what they’ve been taught will resolve problems for them.

This then comes back to my first point about women’s need for security. I’ve been married for over 20 years now, and for as good a marriage as I have, I still have my doubts that Mrs. T trusts me implicitly with her life.

It’s ironic because I actually saved her life when we were first married. There was a very swift moving river we used to walk our dogs along when we lived in Tahoe. It was spring and the river was high from snowmelt runoff, and it was cold – as in take your breath away before you’re paralyzed cold. One of our dogs had spied a few ducks on the opposite side of the river and bolted into it to go after them. About half way across he realizes it was a stupid idea and turns back. He couldn’t make it and the river swept him downstream. We both ran down the river after him to a point where he’d pass and Mrs. T jumped in to catch him. She goes numb in seconds, but she caught the dog by the collar. I know I’m going to have to go in to get them now so I prep in my head what to do. I get in now and grab the dog and bodily throw him up on the steep bank. Then I do the same with Mrs. T right before the water is so cold I can barely move. I managed to grab a large tree root in the bank I’d seen earlier to haul myself out.

In spite of that very memorable event, I’m not sure I have my wife’s implicit trust in this respect. I know that sounds bad, but even after all of that, there was no acknowledged appreciation for it. I was just doing what a man is expected to do. In many other aspects, I have my wife’s trust, but I wonder if the want for an emotional impression isn’t buffered by a need for security.

In my friend’s case, this lack of trust is manifested in his wife’s demeanor and interactions with him. The more Beta the man a woman’s paired herself with the more evident her need for security becomes a part of their relationship. Remember that security comes in many different forms. It’s entirely possible for a dutiful Beta to be a great provider, but still not be trusted with his decision making or his capacity to protect his woman from harm.

Women today are already raised to never put their trust in men as it is. Men are at best lovable buffoons, at worst untrustworthy incorrigible players. Popular culture directs women to only rely on themselves, to only trust in their own, implicitly correct decisions and directions – and then absolve them of any negative consequence of those decisions. Thus, we have several generations of women who claim the authority role in their LTRs and relegate their men to only marginally trusted companions.

All of that said, I would suggest that men opt to not concern themselves with so-called “trust issues” with women. Women’s feral nature is founded in Hypergamy and part of that nature will always be to doubt the quality of the man she’s paired herself with. It may seem ‘selfish’, but placing yourself as your first priority will be far more appreciated and accepted than a man attempting to endlessly earn the trust from a woman that can only be temporal at best. Your lack of concern over her status of trusting you will have much more impact than trying to appease her for it.

Beta men are endlessly told that a woman’s trust and rapport, her comfort level with a guy, is essential to her being intimate or sexual, or having a good relationship. Those are the guys who feel the sting the most when they see a woman at her feral best fuck the hot guy she met the same night who made a significant emotional impression on her. The guy who invested his interests in himself and she happened to be along for his ride.

Trust is just a convenient term used by women to vet for Beta men. ‘Trust’ only amounts to a list of prerequisites and rules for a Beta who believes it’s his duty to fulfill them, which are never an afterthought for women with more Alpha men.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Not Born This Morning
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Don’t know if this has been posted here before, it certainly should have been and if it has it is damn well worth posting again.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GWW2QY-ybr4

This should be the feminazi national anthem.

redlight
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so you are saying she would be an ideal wife for roosh?

Forge the Sky
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What’s with all the anonymous chicks here alla sudden lol, did Reddit close?

Long time no see you two.

Forge the Sky
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Sounds like you’ve got some fun stories, Miss Charland. I’d trade you but I’m a bit busy making new ones currently.

I wouldn’t mind trying a MFF sometime though. Unfortunately my current girl might not go for it right off. Any tips?

redlight
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vickie was great for staying in character, see the video here and the pix on her r/l recent marriage:

http://www.wrestlinginc.com/wi/news/2015/0913/600602/vickie-guerrero-gets-married-photo/

her first husband was not exactly beta:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Guerrero

Sentient
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Now, from a Red Pill perspective, it’s important to bear in mind that women are always looking for an emotional rush whether positive or negative

When juuuuuuust enough trust meets an emotional rush…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dJfyKZyLSs

err on the side of emotional rush…

redlight
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The key to threesomes is trust issues (sorry Rollo, he hates on topic stuff): So the very first rule of threesomes is that you have to trust your partner completely, and they have to trust you completely as well. You should either be damned secure in your emotional commitment to each other, or be on the same page when it comes to your beliefs about sex and sexual fidelity. You also have to be able to trust each other’s judgement and behavior. This means being absolutely above board with everything. Full disclosure is paramount; no communications that both partners aren’t… Read more »

Blaximus
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… lol at the look on the guy’s face

Jimmeh
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@Colbert @newlyaloof

It literally took me 100s of hours to make, so I’m glad it’s well liked, and I hadn’t completely waste my time.

And the cover is a never before seen pic of the real YaReally.

redlight
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rollo, when you do negs it just an emotional spike, and drives attraction, and there is a chance with this one it could be a r/l concern

Forge the Sky
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Whoop, she’s expunged lol

At least I learned that it’s rude to ask your girlfriend for a threesome. Unfortunately I have FWB’s instead….

redlight
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The PUA community (or National Fuck League) seems to have mixed messaging on threesomes. For example there is this: After been reading old school pick up theories about threesomes (referring to Mystery and Style), I have seen that they claim that only guys with heavy game are able to have threesomes … The reason is simply because Mystery and Style would have a much harder time getting a threesome than I would, simply because they focus primarily on social value as a way to get attraction. Social value does indeed make women attracted to a man, but not always in… Read more »

redlight
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@otherbrain

The PUA quote is a single quote, not two quotes. The quote on trust was about Rollo’s topic.

Forge the Sky
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@Redlight

Interesting. It does seem like threesomes would tend to happen more in a ‘burn it to the ground’ type set than in more careful sets. Just having a frame of ‘I’ll bang all comers’ straight up might be the high-risk/high-reward strategy here.

Although the low risk/ high reward strategy is to have a gf who helps you find the #3 lol.

redlight
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the person is unnamed until you take the 10 seconds to google, with the quotes

“After been reading old school pick up theories about threesomes (referring to Mystery and Style”

“after been reading” is not a popular phrase

anon
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Rollo,

I’m still digesting the red pill.

How do children factor into hypergamy?

How do kids affect what can be expected from a women as the kids get through high school and move on to college or career?

Is there greater attraction towards beta bucks branch swinging?

What would you suggest a father tell his daughter so that she is better prepared do deal with the red pill world?

If any of this has been addressed in prior posts, please let me know where.

Thank you for sharing your analysis and insights.

hank holiday
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@jimmeh

good work on book. i also think it should be linked to the yareally archive.

although, its been known for quite sometime that yareally is actually tyler from rsd, so no news there

SJF
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I’ll play on the simple, stupid questions. Stupid and simple because they are obvious, but neglected. Because life is hard unless you have a plan. Yes, Eemi this information has always been available. You just refuse to assimilate it. You see it and you refuse it. You’ve been studying it and you lie about it’s importance, you deny it and you can’t digest red pill because it puts you at a disadvantage. You have to own your own shit. “What would you suggest a father tell his daughter so that she is better prepared do deal with the red pill… Read more »

Blaximus
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@ hank ” okay, blax, I need your stories about meeting celebrities I’m going to steal them lol here’s the deal. my wine dhv is falling flat because my subcoms aren’t sexworthy enough to pull off. my whole “yeah sometimes I feel like a hot chick” is falling flat because I am not ACTING like it — plus I wouldn’t MENTION it if I was really that good lol so I need to redo this dhv — and wait a bit until to use it until my subcoms improve what I CAN do now is use a dhv about meeting… Read more »

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@Culum @anyone who cares lol Quick summary of last night – out with a few buds, got to venue earlier than they did, still early in the night – after-work crowd. I aimed to short-set a bunch of groups – both seated & standing – before they arrived to ‘shake girls from their groups’ (as I’ve read Tyler describe it in his archives). Reality of having 6 days between last night out = feeling suuuuper stifled & fearful. Opened group of guys on entry, all positive, work banter, roll off then couldn’t open a fuckin thing lol. Walk to bathroom… Read more »

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Red light

Sorry mate, didn’t realize the burden of providing sources was on the reader now. Regardless, it doesn’t actually matter WHO said it, but you’ve replied twice now to me without addressing the point I’m making: what about this one man’s writing is self-contradictory, let alone contradictory of “the PUA community”

I asked you a question and you wasted 4 posts telling me to Google some anonymous poster.

Anon
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Ohh fwb. Well in that case Forge it honestly just depends on how attractive she finds you and how open she is to stuff like this.

You can contact me on Reddit btw

redlight
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@othergrain

the point I’m making: what about this one man’s writing is self-contradictory, let alone contradictory of “the PUA community”

I never said or implied his writing was self-contradictory, that was your pointless assumption that you are fixed on

The quote clearly shows the mixed messages, that Mystery says one thing and he says another

From India With Love
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@yareally @Culum Straun FR. I am 25 and my wing is 28-29. went out yesterday night but shit, every (99% of them)set is a mixed set here in India and my wing and I can see the IoIs from the girls(my friend has an foreigner accent for an Indian and myself typically good looking guy who is fit and athletic(not jacked) and wears fitted clothes) but are afraid guys in their group would become judgemental if they are overt. They would be happy if we picked them up. At the same time, my wing and I aren’t at the level… Read more »

Culum Struan
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All PUA guys – thanks for the comments. It was a good evening and I think the key takeaway for me from these comments and generally thinking about it is that I should have just LED her forward for the main girl in the FR..venue changed to the bar to get some water was probably optimal, or even gone for the kiss really – her friends didn’t seem to mind. But basically (as the HABD maxim goes) – When In Doubt Escalate. I think I got a bit too hung up on going through the M3 model steps but with… Read more »

Forge the Sky
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@Sentient

Not quite the same thing, but just to help disabuse guys of the notion that female sexuality is rare or complicated:

http://thechive.com/2016/08/12/women-share-great-stories-of-accidental-orgasms-16-photos/

Sentient
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Junior / culum

Junior great example of showing Culum the “baby steps”… Bounce off dance floor, bounce again internal, isolate, escalate and bounce out… Perfect.

No sex from wanking? LOL that is a new one.

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Junior
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@Culum “I kept trying to flip into comfort and it wasn’t working but I could have instead just LED a venue change and that would have worked perfectly well as a compliance test and isolated her fully and then the comfort would have come just with spending more time with her.” It’s funny that even after I wrote out why moving her could’ve progressed things, you writing it out for me to read further imbeds how key movement & isolation are. Well articulated. Just to reassert => I’m just making suggestions, not at all implying I’m any kind of authority… Read more »

toocutebyhalf
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@sjf, “Being comfortable with not being in control is something you have to learn.”

Sigh. That’s hard to “learn” after a lifetime of a feminism being thrown at you. Like, I want to be able give up control to someone I trust, but if he isn’t even supposed to want my trust…

Like trust is supposed to be this thing that’s never spoken, only acted.

Sentient
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hJfBM2sRkQ

If you watched the whole Patrese video, this one pops up next… same thing LOL but some out the front window angles as well…

and a reminder from James Hunt on the importance of breakfast…

http://www.blouinartinfo.com/sites/default/files//1963_59963516904_8407_n.jpg

SJF
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@Too Cute “Like trust is supposed to be this thing that’s never spoken, only acted.” Some red pill theory on trust: Here is a passage from the author Shark’s “The Black Flag” book on dominance at the end of page 119 and start of page 120: Dominance is not a candid declaration of ones power, it is not the establishment of authoritative behavior cycles, nor is it the exercise of influence over a woman’s esteem. It is, in it’s purest form, the exploitation of a woman’s SELF-­‐desire to be seduced, led, and loved by a man she is attracted to;… Read more »

hank holiday
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@blax thanks man. I can use some of that stuff. still got to work on the big DHV of spending time with a celebrity. that requires a lot of lying, lol, so may be a while before I can get that figured out. but I have a bump into a celebrity DHV that works since most of it is true to a certain extent, its just the seeing the celebrity that isn’t so like I say, I’ll use this after my stalker dhv “yeah, having to deal with stalkers like this gives you a little more respect for famous people.… Read more »

toocutebyhalf
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@sjf, thank you for that detailed response. I’ve read some of that theory before in the red pill/manosphere, but I appreciate you putting it in this context.

I understand the dynamic explained here, but I think the whole “fake it till you make it” mantra only really works for dominant ideas. It’s hard to fake trust. (Well, maybe, I don’t know. I’ve never tried.)

Stop being logical if you want to be in love. I’m gonna put that on a t-shirt.

Not
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I’m not sure what the real reason is for the life savior of the dog & wife account is or why it was necessary to tell it in the context of this post. It doesn’t prove or support your thesis. It is only a recollection of a claimed event, but I’m not sure what the actual purpose is for describing it here. Can you explain?

redlight
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@not

he was comparing it to the fish he saves from the lake

Softek
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Really rough times over here. Just searched “Rational Male codependency” and nothing direct came up. I’d love to see a post dedicated specifically to the concept of codependency. I’ve been thinking about it, and I feel like codependency is a more accurate phrase for what we call “ONE-itis.” “ONE-itis” makes it seem like the problem is the fixation on a particular girl. But in reality, the problem is the HABIT of fixating on one particular girl, which repeats with different women over and over ad nauseum. Not to mention “codependence” is a popular topic and I feel like more guys… Read more »

Sentient
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” If anyone else has ideas about co-dependency it’d be interesting to hear them.”

There are posts about Mental Point of Origin… when you are your own, or pursue the Platinum Rule, there is no co-dependency possible.

walawala
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@Softek Codependancy in simple terms is “Beta”. Overcoming those people-pleasing behaviours: neediness, supplications, pedestalization are what this blog and the manosphere is all about. Overcoming those behaviours takes a lot of work starting with notion that it’s ok to feel your own feelings. It’s ok to get angry. The problem with codependency and codependents is you’re never quite sure what you’re feeling or what’s appropriate because your entire value system was predicated on external validation. It starts in early childhood and dismantling it goes beyond this blog. Understanding the behaviours is one thing. Moving beyond them requires a lot of… Read more »

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@Softek: ” Just a thought.”

You have a lot of thoughts. Some of them are even rather good.

“If anyone else has ideas about co-dependency it’d be interesting to hear them.”

Stop thinking and DO. You already know what to do.

SJF
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Co-dependency. a noun: Excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction. Co-Dependency is an unhealthy psychological dependency…. Softek: “I’ve been thinking about it, and I feel like codependency is a more accurate phrase for what we call “ONE-itis.” Rollo: “ONEitis is paralysis. You cease to mature, you cease to move, you cease to be you.” ONEitis is an unhealthy psychological dependency…. ONEitis Co-Dependency is insecurity run amok while a person is single, and potentially paralyzing when coupled with the object of that ONEitis Co-Dependency in an LTR. The… Read more »

Forge the Sky
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@Softek

I might be alone here, but I think oneitis and codependency overlap but are distinct. But kfg is right and I refuse to expound further until you’ve given some sign of DOING something new.

Just, like, anything you haven’t done before. Try something this weekend. I don’t give a shit if it’s game-related or not.

Forge the Sky
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I went to a wine-growing region today. Just a spur of the moment road trip. I’m scouting out the area for some long-distance bike rides this fall. I invited FWB but she declined, on the basis of not being dressed right. Lol, girls and their half-assed excuses. Like, just throw on a dress, no-one cares. She prolly had plans with the fam/bf or was just being lazy. Had a great time exploring and talking with the people there. I’d hoped there would be some good sets, but most of the girls I talked with were with bf’s or were sub-hb4,… Read more »

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@Softech

Everyone is born a dependent,and matures through codependency,to become independent.For most females codependency is a natural state of mind,it seems to me to be biological.
Oneitis would appear to be a male type of codependency or immaturity.

Just getting it
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Just had the weirdest experience at a supermarket: a female supervisor was nagging a male operative about what he’d got to do that day.
I just couldn’t stop grinning because it was so ridiculous, like a cat trying to lecture a dog.
I don’t accept being nagged any more, but I didn’t realise until now that I guess I’m at a stage I hadn’t realised I’d got to until I noticed my reaction.
I don’t normally get to see this reaction in myself because if nagging starts I shut it down.

Softek
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Most men have not heard of “ONE-itis” or anything having to do with TRP, but they could potentially stumble onto TRM after doing a Google search for co-dependency and take things from there. Perhaps that topic is beyond the scope of this blog, but I was just mentioning it as a suggestion for the purpose of attracting more men to the blog. How many men have never heard of TRP or ONE-itis or PUA or ANYTHING having to do with that, but have issues and are Googling pop psychology things like “codepent relationships” or “codependent men” or “codependent women.” I’m… Read more »

Forge the Sky
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@Rollo

About TIME, I hardly have the chance to listen to podcasts and even I’m caught up by now :p

Forge the Sky
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@Softek Hey man. Let me point something out to you. A lot of the things we do are governed by our limbic reactions to small triggers. This is what makes the difference between people who consistently take risks in the face of adversity, and those who avoid it in order to avoid pain for example. One of the best things you can do to alter the way that you behave is to observe the way your base emotions work in common circumstances. And then to conciously alter them as needed. Whenever someone offers productive criticism about your circumstance, you react… Read more »

Forge the Sky
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Just to geek out about writing for a second, it’s interesting how one’s style changes when using text-to-speech instead of a keyboard.

Even when I write stories, they turn out a little bit differently when I use a computer as opposed to when I use paper and pencil.

IAS
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@Rollo: thanks for the Frame “episode”. Near 1 hour before taking questions, you mention in passing a man deriving identity from work (you gave a family example in the episode). I’m at least a little bit in that position as I see it as my mission to do some rather specific type of work, it is something that I have been doing all my working life. Sticking to it limits my options geographically and is linked to my current personal situation of being in a LDR. I sometimes think that it is akin to having One-itis for the specific career… Read more »

Roused
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Rollo has made mention a few times about men literally losing their lives because of various messed up relationships. Whether it was the wife cheating, custody battles, or other forms of hypergamy or depression resulting from those or other things. Whenever I came upon that in writing I always thought of it in the abstract. I was glad I had made it through my own depression that resulted after the ugly custody fight I had so I could at the least get a 50/50 shared parenting plan. I had a good idea what depression was and how hard it is… Read more »

Roused
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“but was not putting on a show. It was just fucking sick.”

Should read: but was now putting on a show.

newlyaloof
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@Jimmeh/hank I doubt YaReally is Tyler. I say this for the following thing YaReally wrote, which is included in your pdf: “wow bro nice work. How’d you get so many hot girls around you? I came here with GUYS lol fuck MY life hey” That expression “hey” must be something from Australia or something. I’ve never heard American’s using that expression at the end of sentences. I’ve never heard Tyler use that expression in any of his videos. Someone more traveled than myself would know which geographical area people use that expression. But, really, I don’t care WHO he is;… Read more »

having a bad day
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@Culum just skimming bc i’m still swamped at work… but one quick point… do you really WANT to get laid?… i mean REALLY?…lol… bc you HAVE had some good progress, but now it seems like you want the ‘perfect’ PUA approach/gaming/leading to isolation/bang… and you won’t accept a bang on less than Mystery-level ‘perfection’…lol… (which actually is cool if that’s what you want, but you CAN’T get there without success at a lower level first…lol) OR you just really like the ‘socializing’… (which isn’t all bad… it’s just not going to get you anything but ljbf-zoned…lol… at least not if… Read more »

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@ Forge Thanks for the encouragement and also pointing out my defensiveness. It’s a major reason I’m avoidant, too. And also a huge Beta tell, which I need to be more aware of. (this is one thing I’m trying to work on: how to take harmless jokes and also productive criticism while maintaning Frame and being Alpha, instead of shutting down and acting Beta, which is my main habit, which encourages people to look down on me/disrespect me) The cause of that defensiveness is also what keeps me from wanting to try new things or meet new people doing new… Read more »

Softek
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Softek
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@ Roused Positive masculine influence is one of the most powerful things a man can have in his life. A lot of men here didn’t have great childhoods, and didn’t have fathers that fulfilled that masculine role in their life. I grew up thinking I needed love and affection from a girlfriend in order to really make it, in order to heal. Nowadays after finally getting a girlfriend I’m feeling like I need to spend more time with my friends and by myself and developing and honing my masculinity to truly heal. Crazy how that works. Never would’ve thought in… Read more »

Jeremy
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@Roused

In that situation, is it so wrong to simply return stare until the EB looks away? She’s the one in the wrong. You’re a man. You recognize the despicable behavior she’s manifesting, but no one else will recognize it and correct her unless it becomes obvious enough. It seems to me if you met her gaze, met her behavior with just enough that other women and especially her BF sees it, then it becomes immediately apparent what EB is to everyone there.

After all, you’re the predator, you’re the one in charge. She should look away.

Jeremy
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Jeremy
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I’ve been busy lately.

http://imgur.com/a/CCMVR

Culum Struan
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Culum Struan
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@Junior – so it’s an interesting point on the porn thing. The evidence appears to be somewhat contradictory – if you look at yourbrainonporn type stuff (there is a TED talk that is a good summary) there are strong suggestions that there are long lasting biochemical changes in the brain, ED etc because of too much porn (and it’s worse in younger men who came of age in the era of free Internet porn – at least we missed that by a few years). But there’s also other studies and plenty of anecdotal experience which suggests that the effect isn’t… Read more »

Jimmeh
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Jimmeh
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”But, really, I don’t care WHO he is; his knowledge is the shit and has helped me tremendously.”

Agreed:)

Anonymous Reader
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Anonymous Reader
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Softek

Really rough times over here.

Get Out Now

Just. get. out. NOW.

having a bad day
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having a bad day
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@Culum

on my phone, and I hit the wrong thread…lol

https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/15/the-red-pill-monthly-frame/#comment-166375

good luck!

having a bad day
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having a bad day
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@Culum

…also…epiphany chick?…she should be reset by now…

good luck!

Bachelorocles
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Bachelorocles
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The wife passenger exhibits classic female manipulation. it’s how females have manipulated beta worker providers since the beginning time. They exaggerate their weakness and vulnerability. They thus imply or even outright tell their worker provider hubbies he is incapable of protecting her and providing for her. This greatly disturbs the fragile beta ego and hyper-competitive passions of the beta worker. He will then strive to prove his worthiness by working harder for divine pedestaled princess. It’s how women manipulate their men into working for them. It’s why beta males flock obediently to the factories, construction sites, logging camps, etc. Loading...

francischalk
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“The 2 things not covered by PUA, which is what I always credit Rollo for, are: 1) fully understanding all the nuances of Hypergamy (but even then as you can see in that Mystery Method quote about running mixed/group sets, we already understood the general idea of it and how to use it), and 2) solipsism (which doesn’t have a lot of relevance in the actual execution of game principles, but it’s a huge clarifier in understanding WHY women think/act/behave in the way they do).” For long-time married men (35+ for me), this is the essential element of Red Pill… Read more »

CEO Nikolic
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There is something else to consider beyond the notions of “women consuming” and “penis envy” pointed out by Anon and Boxer. And that is, women are desperate to join the Social Group. And men are it. Wherever a group of men goes, that is a Social Group. Even a single man is like a particle around which a storm cloud of a Social Group can form. Women are volitionless and cannot form Social Groups. Groups of females are not real entities: they have no purpose, no push, no direction, no real command in charge. So, when you consider that, and… Read more »

Emina
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Emina
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Hello Mr Tomassi, and hello to everyone. Though I am not sure if my writing will be welcomed here i must try. First I must say I am a female. Second, I am not a native english speaker, and apologize in advance for my english. Third, I do not live in America. I came upon this site quite by accident whilst i was searching for a way or a method to help my brother, and his speedily diminishing spirits while married to (I came to this conclusion only trough observation) a quite volatile woman. We loved her dearly, but upon… Read more »

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[…] If Mike was able to come to terms that he was no longer poor, no longer a child, he would be able to become rational. He could see that, he has all the money. He could see that he didn’t have to prove anything, to anyone. He was the greatest, he had money, and no one could tell him otherwise. Instead of having trust issues with a partner, he had trust issues with himself. […]

Yollo Comanche
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@Emina

If you’re going to help him, I suggest you brace for a screaming contest. I was once in love with a master manipulator and my brother knew, but I was fiercely angered by his insinuations.

When you help him, I want you to remind him of what you’ve been through together and assure him you’ll encourage him to find new love.

Also good for you on meditation. It’s good for helping one to catch liars.

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