Even for the most abject Beta man there comes significant points in his life when he makes a Red Pill connection ā a point at which, despite his feminine-primary socialization and for all his own participation in a system that deceives him, his circumstance or a trauma rattles him into a state of clarity.
As I wind my way through the Preventive Medicine timeline in the second draft of the next book I come to understand the periods at which these moments of clarity most commonly occur for Beta men.
Early in life that promptĀ may be the sting of having a high school sweetheart break up with him before she goes off to college. In or after collegeĀ it might be the undoing of a long distance relationship he thought for sure his soul-mate would help him dutifully preserve. Later it maybe the realization of how much of his personal potential he truly lost after investing so much in aĀ wife who divorced him and separated him from his children.
Not all of these eventsĀ are as traumatic as this, but it’s during these Red Pill moments of clarity a man begins to see a hint of the code in the Matrix; a suspicion that maybe what he’s believed about how intergender relations should be really haven’t been directed toward his best interest.
So it was with a certain amount of interest I took notice of a man named Stephen when he petitioned advice from aĀ mouthpiece of theĀ Feminine Imperative this week. Though he doesn’t yet realize it, Stephen is at a Red Pill moment of clarity in his life, and as most Beta men are won’t to do, he seeks answers from the same feminine-primary trough that’s kept him in a state of patient stasis until his yet unrealized potential has now become useful to the Feminine Imperative.
Rather than simply allow the feminine crabs drag him back down into the barrel (until his next Red Pill moment of clarity), I’m going to re-postĀ his plea for understandingĀ here and give him (with the help of my esteemed commenters) the Red Pill truth he deserves at so critical a juncture in his life.
Lately Iāve been thinking about my college dating experiences. Iām 28 years old now and Iāve noticed a very odd phenomenon lately. Iām getting noticed (and approached) by women that never wouldāve given me the time of day when I was in college. Successful, accomplished women! One in particular is incredibly hot, but they all are attractive. I am baffled by this. You may laugh, but this is making me extremely frustrated and stressed out.
Reading your blog has offered some explanations. Iām an analytical guy, so Iāve been very impressed with the social science you weave into your writing, and the research about how 28 is the ideal male age for women helped to explain what might be going on. But I still canāt figure out whatās going on, with me or with them. I feel emotions like resentment and suspicion, as well as desire, but Iām not at all flattered. I find myself unable to respond in any way, positively or negatively. I feel paralyzed.
Sometimes I think Iām just offended. These are the very same women who rejected me time and again in college. I mean, I know theyāre not the same butā¦theyāre the same. I wanted relationships (I tried casual sexā¦EPIC FAIL), they didnāt want me. My one serious college girlfriend cheated on me with her professor. I was really, really hurt, felt like a chump, etc.Ā
To put it in a HUS context, the [college girls] preferred alpha males (Iām definitely a beta, introverted, overly intense, with a baby face.) Or maybe they were reluctant to get involved during college because they wanted to be free to move on after graduation and not be tied down.The thing is, I donāt think Iāve changed all that much. Frankly, I couldnāt change if I wanted to, even if it meant getting these women. I may have come out of my shell a little, but I honestly donāt think itās me thatās different. Itās them, and I donāt think I like the difference. I think Iām the consolation prize. I think they still want the alphas but theyāve given up. Time to settle. Iām offended. I donāt trust these women.
Am I too proud? Getting my revenge? Guarded from past humiliations? Or have I just grown up and learned from my experiences?
Stephen
Stephen, the moment of Red Pill clarity you’re now experiencing is coming from your newly realized status. The women you describe being attracted to you (different than being aroused by you)Ā are entering what I call The Epiphany Phase ā the point at which their sexual market value begins to decay in earnest while a man’s begins his greatest potential to capitalize upon his own SMV as it steadily (should) increase.
This is a precarious time for women, usually the years between 28 and 30, where she makes attempts to reassess the last decade of her life. Womenās psychological rationalization engine (a.k.a. the Hamster) begins a furious effort to account for, and explain her reasonings for not having successfully secured a long term monogamous commitment from as Alpha a man as her attractiveness could attain for her. Even women married prior to this phase will go through some variation of self-doubt, or self-pity in dealing with the hypergamic uncertainty of her choice of husband (āIs he really the best I could do?ā)
Itās during this stage that women will make radical shifts in the prioritization of what prerequisite traits qualify as āattractiveā in a man and attempt to turn over a new leaf by changing up their behaviors to align with this new persona they create for themselves. Since the physicality, sexual prowess and Alpha dominance that made up her former arousal cues in a Man arenāt as forthcoming from men as when she was in her sexual prime, she reprioritizes them with (presumed) preferences for more intrinsic male attributes that stress dependability, provisioning capacity, humor, intellect, and esoteric definitions of compatibility and intimacy.
Where you find yourself now, Stephen, is in the midst of these women coming to terms with their waning SMV and the increasing effort it takes women of that age bracket to effectively compete in a sexual marketplace where younger women simply outclass them with every new year that she doesn’t consolidate on a man who represents a good long term provisioning prospect.
As you suggest, these are theĀ same women who found you sexually invisible when they were younger and enjoying the same SMV peak with the relatively more Alpha men they wanted to have short term sexual experiences with. These women were the younger competition they now find threatening their sexual selection today.
Are they exactly the same individual women? I don’t know for sure from your outline, but even if they aren’t, the Schedules of Mating script women follow is so common and predictable that they may as well effectively be the same women to you ā and this is precisely what your subconscious instinct is attempting to relate to your conscious-self now.
ā¦I honestly donāt think itās me thatās different. Itās them, and I donāt think I like the difference.
Unless you’ve made a drastic improvement to your physical appearance or you’ve become more Game aware and have changed your intersexual outlook and behavior the obvious answer is, it is these women who’ve changed.
Now the question remains, why?
What has changed in these women’s lives that prompted this dramatic shift in how they’ve re-prioritized what they now find sexually acceptable? What is it about you in the now (and not back then) that makes you ideal for that acceptability?
Aunt Giggles wants to convince you to let bygones be bygones and follow along with the script the Feminine Imperative expects of you by shaming you for not forgiving a woman of her past indiscretionsā¦
No doubt the girls at college rewarded the males who were early developers and exhibited masculine qualities then. Why take that personally?
I’ll tell you why, because the men they were interested in short term sexual prospects with thenĀ weren’t being asked to make anything resembling the life changing personal investment in these ‘reformed’ womenĀ she hopes you’ll man-up and be a ‘Better Beta’ for. Those men got the milk for free because the cow milked herself and gave it to them, gladly.
Now that’s a hell of a proposition for a guy who’s played by what his prior feminine conditioning would have him believe were the ‘rules’ for as long as you have. Is it really that far a stretch to want to protect the investment of your personal potential, not to mention your yet unrealized peak SMV potential, with women who now hope you’ll be sex, love and desire starved enough for the past 10 or so years to look past all the short term sex they had with more Alpha men in the Party Years of their early to mid 20s?
Maturation of Beta Bucks
Aunt Sue has always ridden the fence when it comes to acknowledging the Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks nature of women’s sexual strategy. When it suits her narrative she agrees with Hypergamy, when it doesn’t, well, you’ll never know because those posts get scrubbed from her blog.
FortunatelyĀ you don’t need herĀ input on Hypergamy to understand women’s pluralistic sexual strategy ā there are many, much higher profile women than Susan Walsh who openly and publicly endorse exactlyĀ the strategy these women (who are suddenly attracted to you now) are using:
āWhen looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.ā
ā Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
And since we’re interested inĀ the research perhaps we can ask Aunt Sue why it is nearly half of women in relationships retain a ‘Plan B’ guy:
Whether heās the one that got away, the office husband, or a gym partner, chances are he is the āPlan Bā man you fantasize about running away with. Like an insurance policy, this man is the handpicked boyfriend or husband replacement you have on standby once āplan Aā starts to break down on you. According to a survey conducted by OnePoll.com, an online market research company, half of women who are married or in relationships have a Plan B man on standby who is āready and waitingā because of āunfinished business.ā
You see Stephen, it’s not those “Red Pill, Dark Triad cads” who perpetuate the “Beta Bux” theory; we don’t need to, it’s modern women who proudly, triumphantly, openly confirm their own HypergamyĀ and blatantly expect you to comply with it by default. In fact they’ll shame you, as all the commenters on HUS are doing now, for even questioning your expected role in affirming their sexual strategy.
So, with the knowledge of this new Red Pill truth, openly confirmed by the very same women who are ‘attracted’ to you now, how do you intend to benefit fromĀ it? Will youĀ stick your head back in the blue pill sand of HUS, or will you become curious about the broader truths of the Red Pill. Just remember, now you’re aware of a Red Pill truth, there’s no going back.
However, bear in mind, you’re 28, the women you’re dealing with now have had a lot longer than just the 4 years they may have spent in high school to decide if you were attractive to them ā these women have had the better part of the past 10 years and the benefit of experiencing the peak of their SMV potential up to this point in life.
Aunt Giggles’ would have you believe your new found SMV is the result some maturation process or change in your personal conditions when in fact it’s the very calculated result of an proudly confirmed, pre-designed sexual strategy.Ā And it becomes really insidious when the operative feminine social convention in play accuses you of wanting “revenge” for acknowledging the same strategy that these women do openly already; you could be cowed into the fear of remaining alone, but that’s a myth to bust in another post.
Commenters, perhaps I’ve missed something here.
Please, feel free to post your advice for Stephen in the always open, neverĀ moderated and entirely uncensored comment section only here at The Rational Male.
The women there are shocked, shocked I tell you, that a man like Stephen would be that cynical that young. SW’s ultimate advice, probably for our benefit because the women there wouldn’t like it, is “make women prove they really mean it”, meaning she pretends to believe the underexperienced Stephen is in a position to *force* the women to compete to demonstrate which one is most believably enthusiastically sexually attracted to him. She is deliberately rubbing his nose in the fact that he isn’t alpha enough. One can never overstate the sexual contempt of women for safe men, and AWALT.… Read more »
Getting back to a previous point, the reason that alpha harems thrive in bad situations is NOT because alphas are safer and have more bucks and provide & protect & kill spiders. In fact, the alphas are *dangerous* to their women, the alphas take resources from their women, and alphas’ women kill the spiders.
The general manosphere narrative is that women who ride the carousel and then fail to lock down an alpha in their prime are forced to settle for a beta. This implies that, at the time the wall is imminent (or has passed), if the woman had her choice she would pick the AF over the BB, but can’t because of her declining value. Though I am sure this is sometimes true, based on my personal experiences I’m not sure it is true as often as one may think. In some cases, I wonder whether she actually WANTS the beta at… Read more »
I have to give credit to this guy.. at least he saw through the crap. When I turned 30, all of the sudden I was “handsome” and getting looks left and right.. and now, in my 40s, women stare at me regularly. Now, I did become a little better looking with age.. I was skinny and could have carried myself better, and honestly.. my looks was never something I cared about when younger. But here is the thing, I bought womens compliments hook, line and sinker. I still do. Maybe because I like what I see in the mirror now… Read more »
10 months red pill now.
One piece of advice – as much as your tempted to, when gaming women dont make reference to red pill knowledge – ever. Its like the sun shining on a vampire…they dont like it.
@SAMO
Great questions. I’m curious as well.
Are women settling as they near the wall or are they wired in such a way that when she hits an older age she becomes attracted to provider type roles?
@Hobbes
Thanks man. I enjoy reading shared stories from older guys.
It sort of helps prepare me, or give me any idea of, what I might be in for.
SAMO – “But I really doubt she would leave her husband even if me or some other fling (with fewer provisioning resources than her husband) encouraged her.” If I understand this correctly… She’s having her cake and eating it too. She didn’t settle and make a choice so much as she found an easy mark to con. There’s no loyalty or fidelity in her, no commitment, no sacrifice on her part. If she’s got an open marriage fine, but otherwise her husband is a chump in a sham marriage. If the flings were cut off by her husband she’d either… Read more »
What Rollo writes and these comments have been great for understanding hypergamy. I still feel like I have virtually no tools to distinguish between normal hypergamous behavior and the bunny boilers or the girls that are planning the divorce before the check on the first date has been paid. Some of these women can be so convincing, especially in the short term. Their manipulative skills outstrip my ability to detect it at this point. Anyone care to school me on this bit of reality?
This plays into a feminine imperative archetype, ‘the ugly duckling becoming a swan’ trope, the classic beta bucks story if there ever was one. And this precedes Hans Christian Andersen, Hephaestus and Aphrodite is one of the earliest renditions.
I think the frog and Price Charming is another variant though orientated towards women, to just get on with it and marry anyone. Nice that they were ‘keeping it real’ and didn’t eschew conflating a frog with beta bucks.
Just look at the Hussies, they can barely refrain from talking about ‘blooming into adulthood’.
Yeh, Stephen is positively blooming…
Good Alpha Fux – Beta Bux story from Mike Rowe
https://www.facebook.com/TheRealMikeRowe/posts/884423801567764:0
” Why involve yourself at all with a creature capable of such behavior.”
Because you are biologically driven to do so. It’s not only the only reason, it’s a tautology.
“Do you prefer longer days or longer nights?ā
This question is based on a blue pill illusion. Time standards have no effect on the length of day/night. Day and night are physical realities beyond the manipulation of man. Noon occurs at the same time every day.
“These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in a conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs.”
R.W. Emerson
‘Self-Reliance’
@rollo This blog is an awesome source of information and I have been reading your book over the last weeks daily. That being said, I think it would be beneficial if actual advice for the case studies and / or phenomena described became part of the original post. In most cases, a phenomenon is explained but I’m left with the thought “OK, now I understand, but what do I do?”. While the articles are excellent for raising awareness, I find them lacking in suggestions on how to cope with the situations detailed. Not that RM should transform into a How-To… Read more »
@ is this thing on,
ohhhh this is gold. Three months later she married an investment banker. How coincidental, and she still emailed him to say the kids like dirty jobs??. the comments are golden too..
“… girls that are planning the divorce before the check on the first date has been paid. Some of these women can be so convincing, especially in the short term. Their manipulative skills outstrip my ability to detect it at this point. Anyone care to school me on this bit of reality?”
look at your date, watch her closely, and say “I would never get married without a rock solid pre-nup”
Stephen,
Your relationship with women, at this point in your life and understanding, should resemble simple husbandry. Necessarily empty vessels, waiting to be filled.
Find your emotional support within or within fraternity. What ever emotional depth you see in a woman is a reflection of yourself.
They are natures perfect predator and if evolution has done it’s job well, they are savage barbarians, Farmer Janes.
Learn to love them in spite of it, but never ever ever trust them.
@Razorwire
>keeping a horse 20 miles away that must be cared for and ridden every weekend.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79tjHotvuy4
LOL
This all comes back to the psychology of personality. I’ve commented here and elsewhere about Fi and Fe-dominant personalities, and about how Fi-dominant people base their personality on their own feelings/wants, while Fe-dominant people base their personalities on internalization of the values of others/society. Most women are Fe-dominant, while a greater percentage of men are Fi-dominant. Why am I bringing this up? Because it is directly applicable to Stephen’s situation. Women who are Fe-dominant (majority of women) change their personality and their desires based on their stage of life/perceived role. A woman in the “girlfriend” stage will want different things… Read more »
“Iām just questioning whether the woman truly believes sheās ‘settling’ as the wall nears- or if as she gets older her attraction triggers are actually rewired to be geared towards LTRs with betas.” Neither. The woman you describe–a common enough type in Los Angeles (proudly, my hometown)–is not really “settling,” nor is she particularly attracted to her BB guy. Instead, she realizes she’s in a place where the competition for higher-end providers is fierce, and she doesn’t have much time left to compete. She realizes that when she was younger she didn’t have to make the AF/BB tradeoff, but now… Read more »
Re: horsey girls. Boy, do I have some tails, I mean tales. When I was growing up quasi-hillbilly, the pre-pubescent girls who rode animals tended to be farm girls who rode their daddy’s good plow mule and got in trouble for it. Later in the big town and post-college etc., the horsey girls have tended to be rich girls who enjoy the eau de manure and wear leather accessories. Growing up in Texas, my son noted that every girl goes through a cowgirl phase, and even though a lot (a LOT!) of (admittedly, rich-ish) adolescent girls go through a phase… Read more »
In the wake of heavy discussions YMY and catcalling etc, SW muses “Why shouldn’t men expect to have to qualify women for relationships?”
Apex fallacy compounded by harassment charges. “Why shouldn’t all men expect to have a Tom Brady ability to qualify?”
“I might consider being your boyfriend if you show me how enthusiastically you can consent.”
Do any women *think*, at all? Do any women *empathize*, at all? Are they all truly as stupid and solipsistic as they all seem?
@JF12 Women empathize all the time – with other women, and with children. Women do not empathize with men, because they believe that men have it better than them. No matter how much pain a man is going through, he is always better off than any woman, so the feeling goes, and he should not complain. Hence women’s inability to empathize with men when they are sick (“man-flu”), suffering (“he should try child-birth!”), or scorned by society (“privilege”). This is why so many women on HUS thought Stephen’s letter was fake/trolling, while others commented that women have it so much… Read more »
@jeremey:
http://therationalmale.com/2013/11/13/empathy/
@jf12:
Thinking: yes, I’d call it calculating
Empathize: for men, not mucho
stupid: see 1)
or were these rethorical questions š
@redlight In my jurisdiction, prenups are useless after a few years. They are thrown out if any circumstances change from when it is signed. Something always changes.
@jeremy, re: “women have it so much harder”
LOL. The Woman’s Burden of having to be contemptuous of 80% of men, of having to share the planet with so many undesirable men, is so much harder than the 80%’s Burden of being undesired.
Teh menz and teh womynz advice to Stephen BOTH boil down to advising him to make the effort to connect with a lot more of the women who are now increasingly easier for him. The men, of course correctly, are advising him that younger less-experienced girls will be more authentically sexually desirous of him, while the women, of course incorrectly, are advising him that the older more-experienced women “now finally know what they really want”.
Women’s reasoning:
Women want it, so therefore it is good. Women want it, so therefore men should want it too.
If men do not want what women want, the men are wrong and evil
Don’t call them …
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201411/don-t-call-them-rape-fantasies
Instead, force them to call you … “Say my name!”
92% of men’s fantasies revolve around giving pleasure, compared to 6% of women’s fantasies. Most women’s most effective masturbatory fantasies involve being forced by a dangerous stranger who is threatening bodily hurt.
It’s not my fault.
I’m not saying a pre-nup makes you bulletproof, just talking about it detects and deflects the GDWs.
See all the love in this discussion:
http://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/2ead1o/boyfriend_36m_wants_a_prenup_i_30f_was_willing_to/?limit=500
Another article from same guy trying to dredge up stuff from women’s psyche. Of course, he has to pay lip service to the clearly silly idea that women want to find *comfort* in dangerous alphas. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201205/the-triggers-sexual-desire-part-2-what-s-erotic-women But this detail caught my attention: “romance novels pay scant attention to details of their genitalia”. It’s true. But it is also true about the heroes’ faces and other attributes: women’s objectification of men seems muted and hazy because it is muted and hazy because the men’s attributes are seen through the cloudy lens of how those attributes make the women feel. This doesn’t… Read more »
Review of some findings in Dataclysm.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-murder-and-the-meaning-life/201409/sex-lies-and-big-data
Big takeaway: “So, older men are perfectly willing to admit an interest in much younger sexual partners, just as their teenage grandsons are willing to admit an interest in college-age women. Neither group expects to be getting much sexual interest back from those 22-year-old women, incidentally.”
And this is where the men have been misled by the FI.
“Donāt call them ā¦
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201411/don-t-call-them-rape-fantasies
Instead, force them to call you ā¦ āSay my name!ā
92% of menās fantasies revolve around giving pleasure, compared to 6% of womenās fantasies. Most womenās most effective masturbatory fantasies involve being forced by a dangerous stranger who is threatening bodily hurt.” posy by JF12
that’s one of the many reasons why a man needs to be viewed as and better yet actually be, dangerous
More clarity: men cooperate, women quarrel.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/homo-aggressivus/201410/men-make-gangs-women-make-quarrels
Basically, if you take everything sugar-and-spice you’ve been told about women and invert it, then you’re still giving way too much credit.
So, why is the desire to believe good about women, contrary to all evidence, so hard-wired?
” . . . force them to call you ā¦ āSay my name!ā”
Sho’nuff!
It should be pretty clear what I think is the reason that women want to think evil of men: fundamentally evil is what turns them on. It’s intrinsically as wetting for her to suddenly see, really see clearly, “I am the danger” from a nice guy, as loathe as they are to admit it, as it is for her to think that her attraction to her head-punching boyfriend is based on it feeling good when he stops.
Reading through reviews of Dataclysm, women tend to be upset by or quarrelsome with its conclusions. So it must be a good read.
One more plug for a book that I haven’t even read yet.
http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/christian-rudder-dataclysm-okcupid/
The goal to āmake the ineffable effableā is a great redpill tagline.
Deti at Donal’s continues to hammer the most basic truths, and the women keep pretending to be confused. “Suppose the culture, the Church, society, and everyone in it sent the following message to women at large: “Your dating/marriage to this man is no guarantee of his continued investment in you, his commitment to you, or his sexual fidelity to you. Every day you awaken until the moment you go to sleep, you must prove, prove and prove again to him your worthiness for continued investment, commitment and fidelity from this man. You are being constantly judged, evaluated, weighed in the… Read more »
A warning for Stephen and all others who may not be aware… The information on this blog is true and excellently written. The comments are open and freely expressed. You can trust Rollos take on everything 100%. For your sake read the book, the posts and any recommended reading. Most of the subject is discussed from a sexual deprivation perspective and frustration with unbridled feral hypergamy. The concepts of game are very effective and powerful when applied in conjunction with physical development. Be warned. You will experience results. The results can have very negative consequences. Some women will “fall madly… Read more »
@yourtallness “Red Pill = Theory, Game = Practical” -Rollo āOK, now I understand, but what do I do?ā The actionable advice to turn the Red Pill into something useful is Self Improvement + Game. Go to Game sites. Try GirlsChase or Roosh or ROK. After having accepted the Red Pill you must now go outside and try all that you’ve learned from Game, on the women you meet, date or have in you social circle. Results won’t happen right away. But once you realize that all it takes is time and effort to attract a female then you will start… Read more »
“You might or might not know the reasons why youāre being jettisoned. He can do so for any reason or none at all, and if you are, you will probably never really know why or what standards you failed to meet.ā Just comply with her most urgent wishes–whatever they are, whenever they arise–and you won’t have a problem. After all, most successful relationships require hard work. Getting married is the easier part; keeping her is where the real work… Wait, what? Wasn’t the marriage or “commitment” part supposed to be the keeping part, barring some major breach of the marriage… Read more »
Saw your twitter requesting alpha tells:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75aX9mlipiY
Wait till the very end for the beta guarding. I’ve seen many more instances like this in person and on other pictures/videos, which i can’t recall right now. I’ll post more when I come across anything else. anyway, a huge bulk of the alpha tells i’ve seen are where the man is physically attractive. coincidence? i think not.
@Tom LOL indeed. T. Popp is great. She also “overpets”, one from his “why you are not married” post. Red flags aplenty. Which is why I mention her. She’s but one plate. And she is quite sweet, pleasant, and kind. Just not helping herself out in any kind of way. She’s already got the cats. The job she dislikes. The boomer parents and beta orbiters who help her around the house. I’m certainly not looking to save her from anything nor am I bending any of my life in her direction, but I can see how she might be a… Read more »
I don’t want to break off the vinegar vinegar waves going on over here, but as the probably only guy who is under 40 here, let me tell you that this is all bulshit. I have a social group comprised of 18-35 year Old men and women and most of them are paired-up. None of the men are rich. Not one of the guys is Brad pitt and the women are decent, fit, and attractive. There’s this thing called “personal taste” which accounts for people of healthy weight pairing up with their esquals. And trust me, there are so many… Read more »
jf12 “Most womenās most effective masturbatory fantasies involve being forced by a dangerous stranger who is threatening bodily hurt.” In my experience, this seems to be increasing in demand/popularity. Perhaps due to the feminized culture juxtaposed with so much violence and porn in the media (?) and the natural path of a hyper-sexualized SMP. For example, my HPI (hair pulling index) is up 20 points this year. These 30-something women have been at it so long that they are well past the gateway drug of a simple hookup. They need to be dominated. Merely knowing what you are doing is… Read more »
Rollo, OT post but was I thinking recently about how in how in my youth around the 90s and early 2000s there was a lot messages in popular culture about the importance of sexual technique. There were ideas floating around in the public consciousness that being sexually “skilled” was really important. There was a big emphasis on foreplay and pleasing the woman. As an adult this seems very puzzling to me. There is certainly a learning curve to sex but we’re hardwired for it so we’re not exactly talking about splitting atoms here. And the real issue is that technique… Read more »
@Razorwire re: “Perhaps due to the feminized culture [including] so much violence and porn in the media”
There I fixed it for you. When women sexually devalue real men, typical men, then women greatly increase the sexual value of fantasy men, cartoon men. By far the easiest way for any man to increase his SMV is to become more cartoonishly villainous, if he didn’t feel like installing bloody fangs and becoming cartoonishly monstrous.
@Aaron…..if a woman is genuinely aroused by you, her satisfaction with sex is purely through the level of your arousal and satisfaction. She just wants you to go nuts on her in whatever way you want. Nothing else.
re: technique concerns. They were simply looking for an excuse to keep blaming the man even after he was doing everything she wanted. btw boys, you know how easy quickies are always the best? You know how when it’s not a quickie and you have to labor to try to get her off that it’s never as good? You know how she never thinks it’s her fault for being difficult? You know how she hardly ever reciprocates? It all gets worse, worse and worse and worse, post menopause. The Labors of Hercules are playtime compared to what an old man… Read more »
[i]anonG on BB:[/i] I had to read your comment a couple of times to get the correct implied situation. Otherwise, it would have seemed strange indeed, given my experiences when around such couples. Namely, that the deal for him is indeed covertly if not outright acknowledging cuckoldry, at least accepting a possibility of serial affairs on her side. Ie. knowing that he’s largely buying the social front of her commitment and desire. Often these men do put up a confident-looking front, but sometimes the competition anxiety can manifest itself in semi-aggressive, semi-weak mate guarding actions. Non-physical, that is. Which the… Read more »
@High Ball Hi Princess, when you scurry back to the hen house be sure to take this message back to Giggles; tell her her concern with the Red Pill is misplaced ā it’s the likes of Sheryl Sandberg, Jenny Bahn and the rest of the open hypergamy femosphere she should worry about confirming Red Pill truths. Tell her to take on the Sandberg quote, or the Bahn article on both Time and XOJane instead of c&p’ing the top 10 lists she reads in Marie Claire. Also, she should really pay for the premium service at Alexa.com the demographics of the… Read more »
re: women not knowing what they do, unforgiveably.
Mayo Shattuck’s first wife’s net worth, gleaned entirely from him, is in the low eight digits. Molly probably had visions of nine digits easily when they separated over a year ago, and she was careful to have no boyfriends or even be seen in public with a man. But she began counting her chickens a little too early, one might say.
Rollo, is the reason that “successful accomplished” women go after beta bux
1) Mostly about age (i.e. because it takes them years to become successful)?
2) Mostly about future time orientation (AF being a frantic choice, not a calculated choice)?
3) Something deeper?
I’m leaning to 3). Societal conditions that enable a woman to be comfortable cause her to be less sexual. When she is able to, a comfortable woman chooses comfort, i.e. betas and cats virtually100%of the time, and seldom if ever bothers choosing the poolboy/son’s friend.
Anyone even slightly considering any validity to @High-Ball please save yourself the disallusionment.
Those comments are masking for gross insecurity and probably a mortal gagging on the red pill. There is far too much truth here cross verified by numerous sources from a significant range of ages and a large geographical area as well as varied professions, ethnicity, and back grounds. Do not ignore this truth.
Ignore @High-Ball bullshit.
It’s just Princess sock-puppeting for Giggles’. She just mentioned how we’re all old fat and balding men with our dicks in hand over at the hen house.
Which is funny because last month we were rapey rapists, and the month before that, neckbeard gamers living in our mom’s basement, and the month before that…
aww you get the picture.
Everyone just ask yourselves: Is there evidence for AFBB? Have you seen it? If it’s not AFBB, what else explains it? Do women have sex with more attractive men when younger, then seem to shift strategies when they get older if they have not locked in commitment from a sufficiently attractive man? And why is this mentioned online? Why is this mentioned in fora where the participants are men who have seen this? Why is it so vociferously opposed in other fora where the participants are 1. a combination of women of around age 30 (married and single) and married… Read more »
Time’s Up http://therationalmale.com/2012/10/18/times-up/ Between the sexes, these are conflicting breeding methodologies. For one sex to fulfill itās methodology the other must rescind their own. Thus, in order for one gender to maintain a social dominance in terms of breeding methodologies, the other must be characterized in the negative. This is why menās polygyny is socially vilified while womenās hypergamy is the accepted norm. Men are then socially predisposed to accept women not only as the sexual filters of society, but the rules makers and the arbiters of that same social and moral acceptability. Your indignation at this blog or the… Read more »
@Deti: When these woman tell Stephen to go with the flow because these woman have “matured” and “grown,” don’t these female mouthpieces know that both of these verbs equate to time ticked away? Does maturing not require time? Does growth not require time? So they admit these girls have grown and matured, but refuse to admit that time itself has grown with them, i.e., these girls are approaching the time wall. Simple logic hurts and that’s why they are name calling. Much easier that way.
deti – “Why is it so vociferously opposed…” Because of this: http://therationalmale.com/2014/04/08/preventative-medicine-part-iii/ And this: http://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/ And the very real possibility implied therein that the entire notion of commitment is a long con. Combine that with a very nebulous understanding of how commitment benefits the man who pays for it and there is of course going to be suspicion that the calculated goal of the lane changer is to suck resources out of a man she doesn’t care to have sex with, but who is fool enough to commit to her and her deluded belief that she is doing him a… Read more »
Big Mike disagrees with the hen house…
https://twitter.com/PlayDangerously/status/523661279521546240
Women are so good at lying that they are even lying to themselves.
This has a foundation in the fall of man.
How The “Thou Knowest Not” Problem Began
http://www.maranathamedia.com/resources/authors/robert-wieland/179-the-knocking-at-the-door/2808-4-how-the-qthou-knowest-notq-problem-began
I simply want to point out that all that has been done here is to take Stephen’s correspondence at face value, take the advice given by others at face value, identify the issues in Stephen’s letter, critique others’ advice, and offer our own respective perspectives and “takes” on the letter.
I have made no personal attacks on anyone. Asserting that another person’s arguments, points, premises and/or conclusions are wrong, incorrect, misinformed, and/or incomplete is not a personal attack or “taking shots” at anyone.
Being serious, I posted this not just to address Stephen, but to illustrate the kind of direction many guys this age get from the generation of women who are well beyond the Epiphany Phase and know damn well what transpired when they themselves had to formulate their own rationales to explain why they were now ‘getting themselves in the right place’ after their own party years indiscretions. The sisterhood uber alles aside, there’s a want on the part of post-menopausal women to reaffirm for themselves that they ‘did the right thing’ back then in spite of themselves in their 20’s.… Read more »
I also believe that the illuminati takes advantage of this “Thou Knowest Not” veil in the mind . They use this to do project monarch programming. They abuse people and create split personality disorder aka multiple personality disorder. This is how women’s hamster of rationalization is able to disassociate their true motive from what they are doing. Men can also have this, but this disassociation thing is strongest with women. Their motives are not as pure as that of men in all that they do because of this. This link provides more on that: http://www.maranathamedia.com/resources/authors/robert-wieland/179-the-knocking-at-the-door/2808-4-how-the-qthou-knowest-notq-problem-began Because females are not as… Read more »
re: vociferous opposition.
The FI’s life suport system upon the inflation of women’s SMV at the expense of men’s SMV.
http://www.womeninthebible.net/bad-women.htm
Red pill for one year. The more I read the more simple and obvious these truths become: basic truths that can be distilled to fit on one laminated 3×5 card with font large enough to be read in the dim light of both bars and churches.
@NNJ
DING DING DING DING!
DING DING DING DING!
DING DING DING DING!
You have just entered theTwilight Zone……
@NNJ
Think about this question very honestly and carefully. Do not jump to a conclusion (if you can help it).
Did God issue the Ten Commandments because they are good or are the Ten Commandments good because God issued them?
Psalm 19:7King James Version (KJV) 7 The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. Psalm 119:65King James Version (KJV) 65 Thou hast dealt well with thy servant, O Lord, according unto thy word. The fact the Jesus, the Christ (Anointed one) had to die demonstrates that the law is immutable. None of the 10 commandments and the approximately 600 laws have been abrogated. If they have to do with atonement, they have been fulfilled. If they have don’t have to do with atonement, they remain in the… Read more »
@Razorwire great post. I am in a similar situation as you but the women I now rotate are all in their 20’s with one exception of 31. All are great when we’re together but then sort of disappear into wherever. Sometimes they’ll re-engage or I will. In my Blue Pill days I would fret over how to pursue them. Now I’m more interested in how to pull away just enough to stoke the hamster. However…I have never seen a woman who I’ve been involved with and backed away from not come back. In some cases the fact I’m seeing several… Read more »
I forgot, about the stoning thing. Jesus cancelled that in the new testament. He said let the first one that did not sin cast the first stone. He is basically saying that in the new covenant, that it the job of divine power to perform executive judgment. Stoning and capitol punishment would fall under executive judgment. This is separate than investigative judgment. Investigative judgment is investigating and determining the facts of a case. That is why the bible says, “Judge not lest you be judged.” When someone does open sin, there is no investigative judgment to be done. In that… Read more »
@ The One Reason: “Ie. knowing that heās largely buying the social front of her commitment and desire. Often these men do put up a confident-looking front, but sometimes the competition anxiety can manifest itself in semi-aggressive, semi-weak mate guarding actions.” I wasn’t generally denying the type of phenomenon you’re describing. But I might have been mistaken (due to the “Hollywood A-list” reference) in thinking you had in mind a place like Los Angeles, specifically, the westside. The men I was describing seem truly to not GAF: there’s no indication they take themselves to be buying their woman’s desire (she… Read more »
Stephen, my brother, you have not changed that much, but you have to admit that you are “better” objectively than you were years ago when these same girls were rejecting you. At some point you crossed the threshold and you become “Alpha” enough to activate the tingles in more women. SOME of the women you are pulling are actually attracted to you, sexually. Fuck them, literally. Do it hard. As for the women who are looking for your Beta bux paycheck. Fuck them also, if you can, literally. While I am at it fuck off your Hamlet level whining and… Read more »
One does not need to be a Christian to follow these words in the bible: (To Eve as punishment for disobeying God): Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. Genesis 3 This is God’s punishment to Eve, but it’s more than a punishment. It shows clearly the nature of a woman and a man. If he is ruling (governing/leading) over her, then she will have desire for him. If she rules over him, then she will not have desire for him. Again, you don’t have to believe in God or the bible to recognize… Read more »
Having now read “The Pet” chapter I do understand Rollo’s PoV better: “I can understand the want for practical applications of this field of study, and while in my line of work I have done my own āfield testingā with the majority of what I explore here, I have neither the time, opportunity or resources to develop practices beyond what I offer here. At least not to the degree of which the majority of my readers are able ā and thatās the good news.” So I guess that’s a fair point and I certainly appreciate the awareness this blog has… Read more »
@NNJ
Are you hoping (pretending) Jesus will make everything better for you by destroying those you envy and altering human nature?
Abbra-Ka-Dabbra
@Adam Man She will attempt to rule over you in an LTR only if she knows she can. By the time an LTR is being negotiated, she will have shit tested you more than enough to determine if you are a wuss or not. She will not even considering such an LTR unless she has finished “sowing her wild oats” and you have failed enough shit tests to prove to her you are suitable. Clinging to religious dogma in an attempt to “control” life or manage your realm is exactly one kind of mentality being promoted for you. It leads… Read more »
@NNJ
Are you a white knight or are you wearing a white robe?
Better keep a supply of bleach on hand for the masturbation cum stains.
re: clarification from the Cathedral.
The defense of Dunham’s incestuous molestation is anti-YMY. The defense is based on these following ideas.
1. The mindset of the perpetrator is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if the perp knows (s)he is doing something wrong and is sexually gratified by the wrongness.
2. The consent of the victim doesn’t matter. All that really matters is that the victim didn’t mind it, at least not enough to say “no.”
3. The victim wasn’t really harmed by it, and may have enjoyed it, the attention etc.
There are only two rules pertaining to how men should behave with women. Just these two rules alone are all thatās needed. All other rules become superfluous when these two are not violated. In fact any additional rules serve to produce undesirable results and support negative conditions. Any additional rules only confuse and distort the real nature of women and mans natural relationship with her. Any more rules than these two rules are beta conditioning imperatives. Rule number one: pump. Rule number two: dump. Thatās it. No more rules necessary. If you find yourself thinking you need more, it is… Read more »
Oh yeah, I forgot one. It’s Ok If You’re A Lesbian. I predict, follwing this testing of the waters, that IOKIYAL will be increasingly invoked in 2015.
How did it happen that lesbians are in the driver’s seat of cultural norms?
If it hasn’t been said before, one other piece to Stephan would be not to participate in the game of dangling the sex carrot for commitment that I believe has been discussed about women at this stage.
And if he chooses to go out, spin plates with them, only spend your money on things you want to do, not on them. He doesn’t need to start with the wooing and romantic dates, when before with these women it may not have needed to be a date for them to do something with a guy.
Just glanced at the post at HUS and there are zero comments. Did somebody try to direct Stephen over to this blog and make her shut all comments down?
never mind, looking at something else.
There is a single question – what do you expect from a woman. What do you need from her? What is her role in your life? I agree with what has been already mentioned here – woman are creatures between an animal and a man. I realized this years ago. It took me quite a time to fully digest it and to find out a way how to interact with them, given this reality. After many trials and errors, I realized the following: 1. They are not my equals, they have no sense of responsibilty, justice, goodness, no higher soul.… Read more »
Stephen’s intuition — that he is in the box labeled ‘Beta Chump’ — is correct. Big risk. What’s ignored most places is the lie that lane-changing is one-directional: from Sandberg’s “have fun in your twenties” to “find a neat guy who offers safety and security and potentially a condo at Crested Butte, provided he will help you get off with your vibrator if need be.” Sandberg is ignoring the “And then …?” part. Frankly, in my opinion, so do most red pill discussions. We usually discuss AF-BB, and focus on the unpleasant conditions of being BB-guy. These women are alpha… Read more »
BV you should probably read this series:
http://therationalmale.com/2014/03/16/preventative-medicine-part-i/
http://therationalmale.com/2014/03/26/preventative-medicine-part-ii/
http://therationalmale.com/2014/04/08/preventative-medicine-part-iii/
http://therationalmale.com/2014/04/13/preventative-medicine-part-iv/
Princess’ comment about men — those willing to discuss these matters — being fat, rejected, bitter, hirsute losers, is amusing. If she’s over 30, such women will bang or blow you on the first date, so charmed by any red pill man of accomplishment who isn’t fat, bitter, hirsute, etc. And she’ll brag on her divine sexual power to her girlfriends. The stridency of her remarks just proves that her lifestyle of roving sexual affirmation is primary. The lifestyle is affirmed by her selection of men to off who are not fat and bitter. To wit: “I attract charming, dominant… Read more »
Thanks, Rollo. Did not intend any aspersion of this blog.
I admit it would be hilarious to read a HUS discussion of how a “I finally know what I want” woman, who’s locked down her Plan B Nice Guy, deals with her ‘sexual needs’ after the two children have been produced, and a suitably comfortable home has been secured in both names. The current convention in the culture is that such women never pine, again, for AF strange. Hahahahaha.
^^^
You just described Susan’s marriage.
Why do you think she started HUS?
Catharsis.
I just went to HUS’s article (http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2014/11/03/relationshipstrategies/where-were-you-when-i-was-still-unattractive/ for anyone wondering) and the explanations given by the women and white knights there actually impressed me because they conveniently demonstrate so many things: – The most important point is that the whole scenario is defined by the feminine imperative, this point really overrides and defines all others. It’s a form of thought control. If you define what was, what is and what could be according to your imperative then you can make yourself look right. It’s like a way more sophisticated version of 1984’s thought control. – Women keep chiming in with… Read more »
Excellent breakdown salemsuwareh.
Of course now one of the HUSsies will write you off as a balding, obese, basement-dwelling middle-age red piller loser who thinks 22 y.o. women want his cock, so they’re correct afterall
Molly the bubbly girly-girl head IUP cheerleader took her marketing degree and other assets to DC in 1985, having naturally snagged her congressman’s attention, and who knows who else’s (here, I’m asking: who knows?) For four full years the poor but adventurousyoung gal did something or other amongst the rich and powerful in Washington. Eventually she got an actual job at Alex Brown in 1989, and met Milo in 1990. They were photographed together several times, albeit not necessarily together together,before his becoming separated from his wife in 1994. Theyweren’t an official item until the divorce, by which time Milo… Read more »
And one last thing. They define men in convenient stereotypes. As Rollo has said before (he usually has), men didn’t invent terms like nice guy and jerk – they got them from women. The guy that arouses them isn’t who they really want (that’s Stephan!) but can’t lock down for whatever reason (if they even want to, I personally think that locking down an alpha is something they want to do for secondary reasons like scarcity – it’s not why they seek him out in the first place unlike beta bux), he’s the “Player” that women are entitled to “make… Read more »
@jf12 “How did it happen that lesbians are in the driverās seat of cultural norms?” This is a question worth examining. I do not know the answer. Perhaps Rollo can provide some insight. Homosexuality has been worn as a chip on the shoulder of the FI for at least 35 years in our culture. Some facts.. Homo sapiens are a species typically exhibiting sexual dimorphism defined as a phenotypic difference between males and females of the same species; there are obvious differences between the males and females of the species. The primary biologic sexual differences are the presence and absence… Read more »
Long time lurker here. My first clue about SMV? In 1987, finishing Engineering at University. It was a hard slog for me. I was a blue pill, also orbiter of some chicks I had a crush on. But misery -financial and emotional – has a way of toughing you up. I never lost sight of the objective: Graduate with an engineering degree. My best friend studied in History, went to parties and was a bassman in a band. Lots of pussy for him, but he never threw any my way. The coming end of University life hits everybody. People think… Read more »
Marriage should NEVER be a mans goal. Man should have only two goals with women. Goal one: pump. Goal two: dump. Marriage should only be a consequence of pumping the best fit who properly serves your needs and you must keep her on the edge of the dumper. If she doesn’t like it, pump her in the dumper.
Game, red pill, whatever, does not turn unattractive man into alpha. Women are machines, tuned to spot good genes and ensure that those genes are brought into the next generation. When you have them you have women lining up for you..they have no choice. They are nothing but a bodies ruled by emotions and those very emotions are designed to fill their vaginas with sperm of an attractive man. Again, women have no choice in that. All their talks, bullshit, emotional games are here to cover this truth…women are very simple in this aspect. Therefore they need betas to be… Read more »
Apologies for Molly’s timeline errors. Evidently she was in DC prior to graduation, maybe summers and holidays I don’t know. She was interviewed at Alex Brown prior to graduation spring 1989 and started work there in the fall.
OT. When the book Trim Healthy Mama book came out and began making the rounds of churches, yes some women lost some weight, but it was their husbands who actually got substantially thinner whether they needed to or not. As we all should know, when mama’s unhappy then she makes everyone else unhappy. And when mama is dieting then she makes everyone else diet too.
Not knocking THM though; the diet works.
re: what’s the point in being the Good Man, as opposed to bad boy or whatever. Tell me when the clarity becomes bracing. Teh GMP has launched a Marriage Rx initiative, because teh women there know evidently a man can’t get a word in edgewise in his marriage or on a website ostensibly about men. http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/hlg-marriage-advice-cant-get-anywhere-else/ Luckily for any man who writes in to complain about his lousy wife, the counseling team of Hilary, Jenny, Sue, Shannon, Jean, Alexis, and Heather will help him see *his* errors. Heather has also brought in Bryce for this purpose, because Bryce specializes in… Read more »
It’s so funny that on GMP they have this whole page on which it says that men would get help but on the bottom it says:
“The blogosphere is full of advice mostly geared towards women and largely ignores same sex couples.”
And again, help for everyone, except straight men especially the evil white ones.
This is sick
” . . . a man with options by definition cannot fear being single, since he has options. ”
One of my options os solitude, which I rather enjoy. I’m good company.
Perhaps those who fear solitude are not such good company.
Stephen – You are well on your way. But don’t just listen to the “manosphere”, also look at what actual scientists have to say. There are a number of really great sites and podcasts out there which are run by non-game purveyors. You will learn a lot here, but there is huge bias and much mythology in the world of “game” that is laughed out of the room by real scientists. Just google “debunking pick up artists and game” and you’ll be on your way. The mating grounds is run by a natural alpha who gives lots of advice about… Read more »