Solipsism I

solipsism

“Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat. Women often have to flee from the only homes they have ever known. Women are often the refugees from conflict and sometimes, more frequently in today’s warfare, victims. Women are often left with the responsibility, alone, of raising the children.” – Hillary Clinton

I had planned on using Hillary’s now infamous quote for an upcoming post outlining the distinction between women’s innate solipsism and an acculturated narcissism, but fate delivered me a much more profound use for this quote last week (we’ll get to that in part II).

Before I dig in here I feel it’s kind of incumbent upon me to point out that I in no way align with, nor endorse Hillary’s political or ideological perspectives, and I think it should go without saying that I diametrically disagree with her feminine-primary social agendas.

That said, if you ever need a better quote to explain the realities of feminine solipsism I think I’d be at a loss to give you one. A lot of men, even Red Pill aware men, have a hard time understanding how solipsism fits concretely into the feminine psyche. The social conditioning and upbringing that predisposes us towards an egalitarian equalist mindset rebels against thinking women and men would have different psychological firmware. Equalism teaches us to expect that men and women’s needs share mutual origins and our impulses are so similar that any difference is insignificant.

That egalitarian frame predisposes us to consider that ‘not all women are like that‘ or to disassociate the idea that men and women could be anything but functionally equal agents. As a result we get convenient distractions to confuse our looking for comparatives to should anyone (or thing) challenge an equalist answer.

Simply put, we get rationales like “Oh well, men do it too”, or worse, or any opposite comparison that leads us away from considering the truth that men and women are psychologically, biologically and sociologically different; with different motives and different strategies which they employ to meet their different imperatives. And often these imperatives are at odds with the best interests of the other sex.

Separating Differences

The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies:
For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own.

It is the fundamental differences in either sex’s imperatives, acculturation and biology that creates this conflict. Of course, men and women have come together for each other’s mutual benefit (and love, and enjoyment) to create families and sustain our race for millennia, however, this mutually beneficial union does not originate from mutual imperatives or sexual strategies.

When I explain how women hold an opportunistic concept of love, while men hold an idealistic one, the resistance to accept that observable, behavioral, reality is rooted in a blank-slate belief that men and women are fundamentally the same. So, when we read a statement from a woman (to say nothing of a high status one) such as Hillary’s, we either scoff at the oblivious audacity of it because it is so counter to our (male) imperative’s interests, or we nod in ascension in the feminized belief that what best serves the female imperative necessarily is the best interest of the male imperative.

This is an illustration of the fundamental difference in the interpretation of experience between the sexes.

From a solipsistically oblivious female perspective what Hillary is expounding on here is entirely true. From a perspective that prioritizes feminine Hypergamy above all else, these three sentences make perfect, pragmatic sense. The idea that men losing their lives in warfare would make them victims at all (much less the primary victims) isn’t even an afterthought; all that matters is the long term security and continued provisioning of women and their imperatives.

Solipsism, not Narcissism

A lot of newly Red Pill aware men get confused at my using the term ‘solipsism‘ when I refer to this female-specific obliviousness to any concern – or lesser prioritized concern – of anything outside their immediate existential needs. The confusion comes from men who want for a similar justice to the one I outlined in Our Sister’s Keeper. Self-importance or narcissism would seem to be a more appropriate term for this dynamic, but I disagree.

Female solipsism in and of itself is not necessarily a net negative in the larger scope of human survival and evolution. On the surface that may seem a bit outrageous, but it’s only outrageous insofar as women’s solipsistic natures come into conflict with the biological and social imperatives of men. This solipsism is the necessary result of a feminine survival instinct that’s helped preserve women and their offspring in a violent, chaotic and uncertain evolution.

Recognizing the importance of feminine solipsism is not an endorsement of the anti-social, and often cruel, byproducts of it.

No doubt, men who’ve been on the sharp end of this will grind their teeth at the inevitable narcissism that becomes an extension of women’s solipsism. I’ll agree. Socially we’re living in an era of unprecedented (western) narcissism manifested in a vast majority of women.

At no other time in history have women become more accustomed to perceived entitlements of personal security, ubiquitous social control and relative assurances of optimizing Hypergamous imperatives. At no other time have women’s sexual strategies been of such primary importance to society. However, this narcissism is the result of an acculturation and learned social priorities that predispose women to expectations that border on arrogance. Over recent generations that narcissism has become learned and fostered in women to the point that narcissism is openly embraced as a feminine strength – women believe it’s their due after a long suffrage.

Women’s solipsistic nature however is an integral part of their evolved psychological firmware. Solipsism is the evolved, selected-for result of self-preservation necessities that ensured the survival of our species. As men we get frustrated by this intrinsic nature; a nature that puts women’s imperatives as their primary mental point of origin. As any newly aware Red Pill man will attest, coming to this realization is a very hard truth to accept. It’s cruel and contrary to what the First Set of Books have taught him he should expect and build his life around.

Furthermore, it’s cruel in the respect that this solipsism neither aligns with the romantic, Blue Pill hopes he’s been raised to accept, but also the egalitarian, equal and level playing field ideology he’s been conditioned to believe he should alter his priorities to accommodate for women; and in turn he can expect from women. As I stated earlier, coming to terms with men and women’s differing concepts of love is a tough disillusionment, but this difference in concept is simply one of many a man must come to terms with.

When I wrote Empathy I got taken to task about women’s capacity to feel empathy to a greater degree than do men. It’s not that women cannot feel empathically (a shared experience), my argument was that the idea that women feel a ‘greater’ empathy than men was a social convention with the latent purpose of masking women’s innate solipsism.

That wasn’t a very popular idea. The notion that women are the mothers and nurturers was predictably spelled out, but with regards to empathizing and caring for men the primary concern of women was worry over their own and their children’s well being before that of their men should they become incapacitated. Again, this is a cruel truth, but also a pragmatic and survival based one.

Mental Point of Origin

Women’s mental point of origin begins with their own self-importance, and the overriding importance of their own and their offspring’s survival. I’ve had women readers lambast me that they couldn’t possibly be so influenced by solipsism because they put their children’s wellbeing before their own. However it is just this solipsism that predisposes women to seeing their children as extensions of themselves and their own identities. And the good news is that this dynamic is one reason the human species has been so successful.

The following was a comment from Starve the Beast on the TRP subredd:

Women are bad at reasoning, but good at rationalization.

Let that sink in for a minute. One cannot rationalize without the faculty for reason. So are women really bad at reasoning? No, actually they’re great at it.

The difference is that women don’t place as much value on Truth as they do upon self-preservation, and therefore their reasoning processes do not abort when self-contradiction is reached. They’ll just rationalize their way out of that too, if exposed.

Ultimately, the so-called hamster reflects an underlying difference in value systems more than in reasoning ability.

Women can learn to sublimate their solipsism. In fact, cultures and progressive societies have been founded on sublimating female solipsism. Women can and do learn critical thinking quite regularly. Women can learn and function within a society that forces them to compromise their sexual strategies and mitigates the worst abuses that solipsism would visit on men (and themselves). Women can learn to be empathetic towards men as well as live within a social order that looks like mutual justice and fairness.

But the fact that these civil dynamics should need to be something a woman learns only reinforces the biological and evolved influences of female solipsism as women’s mental point of origin. The parallel to this is men’s learning to sublimate intrinsic parts of themselves – primarily their sexuality – to reinforce prosocial interaction in society. 

Women dislike the idea that their experience is colored by solipsism. It sounds bad, and it runs counter to what they believe are sacrifices on their own part to help others. That may be so, and I’m certainly not going to attempt to discount those investments, but they come from a learned compassion that must overcome an innate solipsism. That ‘me and my babies first’ mental point of origin isn’t necessarily a bad thing either – it’s only when that learned compassion and humility are superseded by it that anti-social behaviors and hubris arise.

I expect the predictable criticism will be that men are also self-important, and / or all humans are intrinsically selfish fucks. In part II I’ll elaborate more on this, but for now it’s important to grasp that female solipsistic nature is less about selfish individualism and more about pragmatic survival.

Many a male reader of my Hierarchies of Love series grated against the idea that a conventional model of love would progress from Men to women, women to children, children to puppies, etc. That model is a direct reflection of a uniquely female solipsism that seemingly discards men’s reciprocal emotional investment in women. However it is also the same dynamic that predisposes women to desire men who can decisively control their environment as well as dominate them sexually and emotionally.

In part II I’ll outline more examples of feminine solipsism, how it’s reflected on the individual and societal level and how a man might best use an understanding of it to his advantage.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Seraph
Seraph
7 years ago

He must’ve been terrified, especially with the Attic comment. Stop gaming the poor guy.” My fellow brethren of the Red Pill…we are faced with a task of monumental importance, a modern day Crusade to liberate those in peril! SAVE MR. IB! Save him from a fate worse than…well, a fate almost worse than staying alive and married to InsanityBytes! We must locate our brethren in testosterone, spirit him away from the evil, fascistic and insane machinations of IB, and deliver him into freedom and deliverance, where young women with tight asses pour him bourbon and grind those pert asses on… Read more »

keyser Soze
keyser Soze
7 years ago

How about religious solipsism or religious Hypergamy (?)

A woman can dumb her religious poor husband for a rich religious husband ! She would have ZERO guilt, cause God on her side.
How about :
God fearing Alpha fuck kind of a guy.

keyser Soze
keyser Soze
7 years ago

Insanity is giving me something to think about,
Which is worse ; religious solipsism or secular solipsism?

Ps
Yes, Save Mr. Bytes

kfg
kfg
7 years ago

” . . . staying alive and married to InsanityBytes!”

No! Noooo! Anything but that. Take me to Detroit!

rugby11ljh
rugby11ljh
7 years ago
Reply to  kfg

@Rollo Approached 3 girls today 2 of them where a ten and I got the contact information from one of them. Think your blog has done more for my well being than anything else. My confidence is increasing and I am able to get rejected which is the fun part. I’m losing buffers and screens and dealing with people with your help. It’s so much appreciated. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1ubs6iUMdyo I think your ability to give men their balls back from the brutal world it can be is worth a lot in return. Going to donate again for your dogs and when I… Read more »

trackback
7 years ago

[…] comment from Truman gets us started […]

lh
lh
7 years ago

“I dunno man, I just think that spirituality is a good tool in a man’s self arsenal. Naturally it depends on what form of spirituality a man seeks out, but I’m talking about the basics. The idea that there is something/things bigger than ourselves and a way to see our immediate problems in a truer scale.” The more I think about it, the more I see spirituality as an exercise in solipsism, female thinking. “The distinction between introspection and solipsism lies in that introspection assumes the external world is the root, attempting to understand where the individual fits in relation… Read more »

kfg
kfg
7 years ago

@lh:

I haven’t finished the whole article yet, but I have already run across one thing where he is wrong. Things only change by force. There is no evolutionary force on a neutral aspect and a 60 year old woman is neutral with regards to evolution. There is no evolutionary damping of her solipsism, simply because she no longer matters.

A neutral aspect may fade over a very long period of time, because it is not reinforced, but it may well continue unabated through millions of generations, because it is not countered.

lh
lh
7 years ago

@kfg: He has surely better articles over there, I also find some things imprecise or wrong. The quote was close enough to what I wanted to say though.

scribblerg
scribblerg
7 years ago

Still getting caught up on this long and great comment stream. Have to distract with this: U.S. Rep Polis stating – to applause – that even if you are only 20-30% confident a rape accusation is true, the man should be banned from the college/university. For those of you who seem to think we are on the cusp of some “Red Pill awakening” stop kidding yourselves. We are accelerating into the insanity, it’s not slowing down a tick. Our entire society and it’s institutions are accelerating in a spasm of Social Justice Warrior infused (read Marxist, Gramscian counter-hegemony if you… Read more »

scribblerg
scribblerg
7 years ago

Postcard from the edge. Am working from a Starbucks this morning and sat at a table for 4 occupied by a woman who had spread out all over it. It was really the only choice for me as a seat as I needed power (the seat I was in originally was suddenly in the sun). She could barely make space for me, including baher sprawled out legs bumping into me. She’s taking calls at the table – 3 feet away from me and talking like she’s in her home office. I see women like her all the time in the… Read more »

w2uchris
7 years ago

@yareally So………I read all the post on your blog…literally. and I’ve been going out ( I was a home hermit type ) but i’m not like beta at all literally. Its not even so much alpha beta stuff with me I just never went out by habit. Anyways so Ive been going to malls and stuff and I’ll talk to like one girl one day. maybe 2 the next. don’t go out the next 2. not very consistent but i have like stupid standards and I figured the only places that have enough girls for me to want to talk… Read more »

GW
GW
7 years ago

I love your stuff Rollo, have bought both books, and will likely be posting more. Here, I simply want to clarify the use of the term “Egalitarian”. As a student of social ethics, the term “egalitarian” doesn’t mean, or even suggest, that all people (or any grouping of them) are equal. It is the belief that all people should be subject to the same ethical standards at all places and times. I believe this definition is consistent with what you advocate (which I agree with). Insisting we are the same species, and thus entitled to the same/equal rights as each… Read more »

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7 years ago

[…] of the MRM are willing to acknowledge – this is yet one more example of the innate feminine solipsism we’ve dissected for a decade now. From Eat, Pray Love to Gone Girl, the female self-discovery […]

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[…] feminist activists are at least partially motivated by female solipsism. They project their own atypical experience and feelings onto normal woman and imagine all women […]

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[…] this point I will mention the principle of female solipsisim. These guys all define it in stellar fashion, so I will simply add that if you combine the 80-20 principle of […]

Sam Patterson
Sam Patterson
6 years ago

Dear Rollo Tomassi, Love your blog, many thanks for your work and advice. I was reading your post on Solipsism when I thought of this question and wanted to ask your thoughts: Can female obesity be largely eliminated by telling women that men do not use the same tactics as they do when being asked for dating advice? Feminine passive aggressive competition techniques like ‘No, you don’t need to lose weight. Fat is beautiful’ seem to work on women despite many men writing/telling them and all observable reality that thin girls are preferred. They seem to spend lots of time… Read more »

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

@Sam Patterson In regards to your questions, the answer is no. Fat women have collective power through social conventions to enhance their sexual strategy. In order for fat women’s sexual strategy to succeed, then a man’s strategy (to prefer thin girls) must fail. Right now, fat women have social convention, feminism, go-girl power. That power is strong. Perhaps the best explanation of why men cannot employ a top down approach is in a sub-link in the the original post here. Namely Our Sister’s Keeper. https://therationalmale.com/2015/07/14/our-sisters-keeper/ If the collective fat-girls society are with a society of men trying to become dominant… Read more »

SJF
SJF
6 years ago

Forgot this one:

IM MAXIM #7: “The sexes desire to trust one another, but they wish to actualise their sexual imperatives far more. As such, trust is predicated on the degree of one’s control far more than it is any sense of blind loyalty.”

https://illimitablemen.com/2015/07/17/fifty-shades-of-red/

gdeejay
6 years ago

I struggle with this concept. That said, this article seems to be an example:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201603/the-big-stall

“At school, on the job, and in mating life, young men are making no progress and even backsliding. This isn’t the way women’s advancement is supposed to work.”

projectrevo
projectrevo
6 years ago

What a surprise, uneducated male morons making up shit to feel better about themselves because they can’t handle the fact that women are better, in every way. I guess the statistic of women graduating college more is pretty accurate and expected 🙂 cry your mangry apologetic tears people, but please please get yourselves mental help. As a woman, I can tell how pathetic you all are, and how emotional you guys are being. Instead of making sense, you spew bullshit like typical men. Go back to school please! I just feel sorry for y’all… Btw, please don’t embarrass yourselves into… Read more »

Terry
Terry
6 years ago

Hi Rollo,

I read that autistic spectrum disorders such as asperger’s syndrome involve a “complete focus on the self.” Since autism is considered to be an extreme male brain psychology, how does extreme male brain-ness differ from female solipsism?

http://cogsci.bme.hu/~ivady/bscs/read/bc.pdf

http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.177.9585&rep=rep1&type=pdf

^ these are the resources I was reading.

Thanks,

Terry

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[…] Jokes aside, female-centric marketing is a naked attempt to appeal to female vanity and/or solipsism in order to bypass sound judgement to close the sale. That such marketing is relatively common […]

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[…] Solipsism I […]

Progressive Nihilism
Progressive Nihilism
6 years ago

I took the red pill in December 2015, a few months after this piece was written. I thank the author for a well written and interesting piece because it has many good and enlightening points. But, I’m so sick and tired of hearing that women “can’t help it” and how they are not inherently evil, but that “it seems that way to us”. What’s the point? First of all it seems that very few mgtow understand that female sexuality is extremely dangerous when it is put to power. Second, as a male I take responsibility for my biology, by not… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous
6 years ago

As a woman, happily married to the love of my life for 12 years with two beautiful children, who has worked hard alongside her husband to see his business grow and our relationship thrive, I just feel so sad for all of you….. These are the perspectives of someone who has clearly never known true love; Someone who is emotionally unavailable and therefore unable to experience the fulfillment that a loving, committed relationship with two people who genuinely respect and cherish one another can provide. This so-called “red pill” is just another pills being shoved down your throat, altering your… Read more »

Progressive Nihilism
Progressive Nihilism
6 years ago
Reply to  Anonymous

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel and wait for a video on this topic. I was married for 33 years, she gave me hell and heaven, and we worked and worked on our marriage. Then I realized that the reason we worked on it is because women just can’t “be” and just stay the way they are. They have to change everything and make decisions and create something negative out of nothing. You surely do that as well, don’t you?. I noticed over the years how I was always happy when I was away from home for three days on… Read more »

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[…] sense of reward ought to be found in fulfilling the ideals of Fempowerment who instead find that women’s solipsism and their own, life-long approach to appeasing it has instead driven them to find that something […]

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[…] the drawback of women’s imaginings of the worst possible thing that could ever happen. Throw women’s evolved sense of solipsism into this mix and it’s the worst possible thing that could happen, to her. On one hand, […]

rugby11
rugby11
6 years ago
trackback

[…] the drawback of women’s imaginings of the worst possible thing that could ever happen. Throw women’s evolved sense of solipsism into this mix and it’s the worst possible thing that could happen, to her. On one hand, […]

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[…] while back Rollo Tomassi at the Rational Male quoted an infamous statement by Hillary Clinton representing the height of gynocentric-based […]

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[…] that is the reaction to women’s (often unflattering) Hypergamy. Women’s innate solipsism only reinforces this presumption because only an action that impacts a woman (positively or […]

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[…] sie mit dir geschlafen. Also: Weitermachen und unbesorgt Rationale Ankerpunkte setzten, sodass der “Hamster” alles schön nachrationalisierten […]

Trolius Maximus
5 years ago

The ‘final solution’ for “the female question” was gifted to men by men who play the woman better than women themselves do — transsexuals (the Wachowski brothers-cum-sisters). Of course, I refer to the “red pill” meme / analogy, that is oft availed in such discussions tabling truths which — before the advent of Internet-empowered, free and open expression — were shied away from; if not outright noli me tangere. What I mean by “final solution”, is that men will ultimately prove the most suitable partners for men — be that in ‘straight’ male-male homosexual relationships, or as in the form… Read more »

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[…] kadın bencilliğinin türümüzün başarısında büyük katkısı olduğu gerçeği. Çeviri : Solipsism 1 Author Erkek AdamPosted on August 25, 2017Tags Bencillik, Kadın Psikolojisi, Rollo Tomassi, […]

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[…] but the tone and the presumptuousness that drives these conversations are rooted in women’s solipsism. All iterations of this show are presented from a perspective that assumes a pre-understood […]

Sri
Sri
5 years ago

For a perfect example of sollipsism, just look at the mother in law and daughter in law jokes. It was so bad even Jesus had to declare that “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh” Once a mother in law was asked about her daughter in law and she said, “Oh! Such a lazy girl. Gets up late, my son has to do all the chores, she thinks she’s a queen, only cares about shopping stuff and beauty parlors/” When asked about… Read more »

Sri
Sri
5 years ago

> I read that autistic spectrum disorders such as asperger’s syndrome involve a “complete focus on the self.” Since autism is considered to be an extreme male brain psychology, how does extreme male brain-ness differ from female solipsism?

Too much logic and no feeling makes a person ruthless and turns him into an automation, more robotic than man. Too much emotion and no brains turns one mad with no fixed concept of self.

Borderline Personality disorder is the female equivalent of autism.

Sri
Sri
5 years ago

> “…Someone who is emotionally unavailable and therefore unable to experience the fulfillment that a loving, committed relationship with two people who genuinely respect and cherish one another can provide….”

This man-blaming argument again?

Cheating, false paternity claims, institutionalized, divorce rape, getting arrested by merely word of mouth — this isn’t due to emotional unavailability. It’s corruption.

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[…] thought experiment is a good way to illustrate solipsism in women, but it’s an even better example of the default presumptions men and women have of each other […]

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[…] thought experiment is a good way to illustrate solipsism in women, but it’s an even better example of the default presumptions men and women have of each other in […]

JohnD
JohnD
4 years ago

Solipsism Solipsism is a very interesting dynamic to understand about women, and I think it is one of the most difficult to grasp after just one read because we are trying to envisage this nature though the eyes of us as males. In my opinion it’s one of the most important red pill aware concepts to fully grasp about the feminine because it awakens you to fully understand what you represent to her. After having read about solipsism more and more on the internet, I am beginning to view the world through the eyes of a feminine but you really… Read more »

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[…] note: for a more in-depth definition of solipsism in women and examples of it, look here and […]

John D
John D
4 years ago

Solipsism is what it all comes down to when it comes to female human behaviour. It’s what makes them use and abuse men’s good nature’s (but he was just being nice to me.. hamster rational) when he flies her to another country. The fact he did it for sex with her isn’t an after thought (because she didn’t do it for sex he obviously didn’t). Her self centred, obliviousness isn’t an after thought. High flake rate with dates. The fact he drove 30 miles to be left with an excuse last minute as to why she cannot go isn’t even… Read more »

Dualist
Dualist
3 years ago

Hundreds of millions of years ago life itself figured out that it is superior if it distributes its two most important tasks (survival and reproduction) to two specialists. Henceforth every higher species was divided into two groups. The experts on surviaval (men) and the specialist on reproduction (women).

Both doomed (blessed) in an eternal pursuit of each others gifts.

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[…] Let’s flip the script and look at it from the perspective of the above described unattached, good-looking, successful, and fit man in his late 30’s or early forties. Whether this man is acutely Red Pill aware, or even an unenlightened Beta, if he is as described above, he is aware, at least on some level that he has options. He is at or near his SMV (Sexual Market Value) peak, while ladies in his ‘age-bracket’ are well past their prime. His ‘resume’ affords him the power to choose; to pursue women in their 20’s and 30’s that find him… Read more »

Arinze Onyiah
Arinze Onyiah
2 years ago

Man this a brutally honest read 😂

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[…] Solipsistlik: Kendinin “hayali” dünyada gerçek olduğuna inanır! Her şey onun içindir, ileri boyutlarda olursa psikoza dönüşür. Şizofrenik bir durum ortaya çıkar. Kadınlar ilk çağlarda kocaları öldürüldüğü, tecavüze uğradıkları, devamlı esir alındıkları için, buna uyum sağlama amacıyla hayali bir dünya yaratarak solipsizme yaklaşmışlardır. Eğer dışınızdaki her şey hayal ürünüyse neden üzülesiniz? Bu sebeple kadın ayrılıkları daha rahat unutur, kendini kandırabilir.“Referans”  […]

riya pandy
2 years ago

Thank you very much, you wrote a very good post, you have written this post through your thoughts and this post is really beautiful, such a post has seen very little till date and I am thankful that you have posted this very well Written.

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[…] at men”, Black women nevertheless FIND A WAY to make it about themselves? This is the inherent solipsism of (Black) women fellow dating coach for men Rollo Tomassi has written about extensively, and his “The […]

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[…] to seek women who are far less than optimal is nothing short of delusional. But then that’s women’s solipsistic nature in a nutshell isn’t […]

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[…] by Hypergamy, her own ego, and female solipsism, the ‘Boss B*tch’ will begin to experience sadness, despair, frustration, and often […]

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[…] lying, psychological displacement, psychological dissociation, psychological projection, shame, solipsism, […]

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[…] displacement, psychological dissociation, psychological projection, shame, solipsism, […]

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[…] comment from Truman gets us started […]

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