The Best of The Rational Male – Year 4

Milestones-Photo

Four years ago on August 19th I finally took some SoSuave friends’ advice, stopped procrastinating and began organizing and building upon about 9 years worth of writing I had done on that forum and in my university work. Back then all I wanted to do was flesh out the forum posts I thought might make for some interesting reading. I had so many members and newly unplugged friends ask me to collect all of these essays in one place I had to make some sort of effort.

Four years later I think I’ve moved beyond just the core Red Pill ideas I had then. I don’t keep a personal journal. I do have a small notebook I write ideas into as they hit me, but my only way of reviewing my writing is looking back through these notes and searching back through 4 years of writing here. Even if I’m just going back through the previous year’s work it’s an interesting review of where my life was at as well as where the manosphere in general was too.

Even if you’re just peripherally aware of the events in the sphere you know that things have been more than a bit unsettled for the past 5 months. I really dislike involving myself in the manosphere’s PR, but as one of the primary writers (one of the three ‘R’s as it were) I’m sometimes compelled to do so. I would much rather be writing about what I do than writing about the ‘sphere itself. I don’t do this for a living, nor do I have any plans to ever make it my vocation. I enjoy the freedom of being able to focus on issues I believe are important to making men Red Pill aware unencumbered by any concern about how my writing  might affect revenue generated by web stats or advertising.

As of today I have 452 published posts. My posting has gone up a bit more this year to 1-2 per week. I’m getting a bit more comfortable with this schedule as it allows me to craft a post over the course of a week and give more thought (and counterthought) to what I’m mulling in my head. I like doing the weekend discussion questions too so I’ll be upping these for the weekenders here in the coming year.

2015_stats

In 4 years the view traffic is fast approaching the 13 million mark. My monthly views are averaging almost half a million now. I might be a bit off, but I think this is pretty impressive for a Red Pill blog that doesn’t advertise and has never been monetized. I have a stake in a couple of liquor brands that would kill for half of this traffic.

I’ve been a bit more public in the last few months. Since the last ‘Best Of’ post I’ve done 5 interviews, and in a couple of weeks I’ll be making my first in-person appearance at the Man in Demand conference in Las Vegas. I’ve got some high hopes for this event, but I should state for the record that it’s the first and only appearance I’ll be making for at least a year. I have no plans of ‘going public’ in the foreseeable future.

Obviously I think the best thing about the past years was publishing the second book Preventive Medicine. I now own the trademark for The Rational Male (just to be official and protected) and I do have plans for a 3rd installment of The Rational Male series, but this wont be until Q4 of 2016 at the earliest. I should also say that I’ve been entertaining the idea of writing what I call Red Pill fiction. Not to go into too much detail, but I’m toying with the idea of writing some down to earth, gritty fiction that’s firmly rooted in a Red Pill perspective.

Beyond all this, Sam Botta has just recently finished the audio and editing of the first book in Audible format. The plan is to have it available by mid-September, but I’ll be announcing it officially when it’s available.

The following are links to the posts I felt had the most relevance and impact for the year. The comment volume has increase exponentially this year which I’m very happy about. Open, unmoderated, discussion has always been the strength of this blog and it’s encouraging to see the interaction stepped up this year.

I have a love-hate kind of feeling with the Best Of posts. I want to highlight what I think were great, but I do so at the risk of marginalizing the posts I think had great merit, but just didn’t make the cut. These selections aren’t necessarily the most popular or the most commented on, but I thought they deserved some consideration as the most significant (several were even included in Preventive Medicine).

The Rational Male – Preventive Medicine

Interviews

Series

Social

Red Pill / Game

Hypergamy

SMV

Personal Development

Love

Thanks for another great year!

 

RT

221 comments

  1. Thank you Rollo. Your insights have been an incredible help to me on my journey. Keep up the good work.

  2. Thank you Rollo. I’ve bought both of your books and will be amongst the first to buy any further work you publish.

  3. This *is* the RP blog, free of political
    and religous agendas, distilled to
    perfection (I bet the same can be told about products under the liquor brands he has stakes in).

    I rember when I first found it something like 3y ago: I was going through some issues with a girl, playing to all the “understanding guy” stereotypes. I always felt it to be “wrong” somehow, saying to myself at times “this not how it is supposed to happen”, felling a splinter in my head for every supplicating gesture i made.
    Then one day, after a particulary strange encounter with this girl (she asked me to do something out of character, which surprised me), exasperated I ended up googling her exact words. Several results on the first page returned “shit test” (I had no idea what it meant at that point) and one of them brought me here.
    The rest is… history :).

  4. @ Rollo,

    I really appreciate that someone, anyone has taken the time to write the things you’ve written. A few years ago I would have dreamed to be able to connect such dots in a helpful and rational way as is done here, if only to have laid out such arguments so astutely and felt proud to have done so. If there’s anything I’ve learned from reading, it’s that I had absolutely no hope of doing so, all from lack of the perspective necessary to understand what is conveyed here.

    It’s your expressed perspective that is so valuable, if only because that perspective (if it exists elsewhere) is so routinely buried and blasted by the FI into self-perceived harmful expression. Its the rarity of the expression that gives it value. Even career psychologists do not and could not have helped so many men understand themselves.

    It’s is remarkable to find myself here at this stage, because You and I are not that separate in terms of age, and you grew up where I did. Literally in our youths, You were the guy fucking most anything, and I was the one holding himself back under the deceit of self-improvement. I (frankly) hated guys like you in my youth. I would have regarded men like yourself as the enemy, and I encountered a fair bit of them both directly and in the stories girls I blue-pilled for told me. Now, of course, from reading here and other RP sites, I recognize that I was simply wrong, plain and simply wrong through little fault of my own. I would not have made that shift in perspective out of lies and into self-awareness without your words.

    The fact that you are able and willing to offer such clear perspective to help guys who (still) grow up in the situation I did is remarkable beyond my own capacity for self expression. Thank you Rollo.

  5. I really wanna thank you for the work you are doing.
    This Blog is like a magical fountain for me, where i can dip in to gain energy, wisdom and persistence for the life outside.

    Thank you !!!

  6. I also want to express my gratitude to you, Rollo. You’ve been a major and life changing influence to me and I am thoroughly thankful for that.

  7. “I should also say that I’ve been entertaining the idea of writing what I call Red Pill fiction. Not to go into too much detail, but I’m toying with the idea of writing some down to earth, gritty fiction that’s firmly rooted in a Red Pill perspective.”

    That sounds quite charming, Tomassi. I encourage you to do so, I think it would be quite popular.

  8. I don’t think I’m overstating this but, you have not only changed many lives for the better; you have probably saved a few lives in the process. God bless you, Rollo.

  9. Holy hell
    Just wow man.
    I can’t help but be amazed to know how your writings have changed everything of me to the better.

  10. Congratulations on Year 4. Along with the progress on the blog, the progress noted in the comment section from various readers (myself included, heh heh heh) is very exciting.

    Sex/women/relationship problems were practically the singular driving force behind my history with suicide attempts. After a breaking point hardly a week ago where I’d tried again, I had a breakthrough. And that breakthrough was almost completely based on insights I’ve gotten from this blog.

    It’s been a rough road. But things are looking up, and RM has been one of the only things that’s truly helped me in my life.

    Being able to feel like a man literally for the first time in my life has been pretty huge. And at the forefront of that change has been absorbing and applying the insights and knowledge you’ve shared and we’ve all discussed in the comments here.

    I know this is all a lifelong deal, and we’re never “done.” But I do think there’s a “checkpoint” where you’ve assimilated enough RP knowledge that you’ve made a permanent change in yourself, the way you behave, and the way you perceive the world.

    And that’s where the real fun begins. No one ever said it was going to be easy, but nobody ever said things weren’t going to get more interesting either.

    Thanks for all the work you’ve done and continue to do, and to the other commenters here for helping to make this community what it is. I was at the end of my rope and I would’ve been lost without Rollo’s work and the community that’s grown around it. A lot of other men, I’m aware, could say the same.

  11. yes thank you Rollo – looking forward to sampling .wav quotes from the audio version of The Rational Male then layering the quotes onto audio tracks and sending .MP3s to you for consideration.

  12. Thank you Rollo,

    from my early days – thank god it’s not just me!

    to starting to understand – yes a man will be dropped if he’s a liability a womans’ first duty is to herself.

    to killing the beta – yes, everything mum taught was wrong.

    Thank you doesn’t quite do it – we’ve no right to expect your expertise for free.

  13. Congratulations Rollo! I have been following your blog for 8 months & I have made significant improvements in my life since then. Like so many guys in the “sphere” my instincts were telling me that malevolent forces were working behind the scenes to marginalize masculinity. Your posts have masterfully articulated the who \ what \ when
    why & how of things. Keep up the excellent work my friend

  14. Nice work. I’m handing out this information (books or links to sites) to younger men as I encounter them (or as they approach me for advice on women). It’s nice to have something like this site (or books) to turn to now……it’s info and material we didn’t have ‘back when’ to turn to when we knew something wasn’t right in the matrix.

  15. Awesome work Rollo, keep it going. You’ve been instrumental in my unplugging. Red Pill living is so much more fulfilling for me. Thanks!

  16. As soon as I saw the photo (though I have no idea exactly where) I felt that instant certainty in its familiarity – the colours, the hedge-rows, the road markings – that it was somewhere in the British Isles. I am correct? The significance is, I presume, the Milestone.

    Much appreciate your essays – which, I would say, is your forte and always worth reading and re-reading.

  17. Looks like the milestone marker on the B 940 road from Crail to Cupar (South of St. Andrews) in Scotland.

    @ Softek

    YGBSM. Are you saying you tried another attempt at suicide hardly a week ago?

    And then you did the old recommended thing of trying something you always wanted to do (PIV) before you go out?

    Hey man, next time you get down it seems that there are quite a few hundred thousand people (men) in Rollo’s TRM stats to give you a helping hand if you ask for it. If you keep following the red pill/game script
    you have more potential than you realize. There is some sublime stuff out there in life that you don’t want to miss out on.

  18. Rollo – This blog helped me internalize and actualize Red Pill truths in my life in real ways rather than yammering about them. At a more meta level, it’s helped me embrace my own masculinity and end the war with myself that raged inside of me for my whole life, a war that all men raised and living in this FI soaked world have inside of them. Whether it’s sex drive, dominance, aggression, a predilection to action or driving myself to succeed, I no longer feel conflicted about these impulses. I’ve also rid myself of the pedestalizing of women, which in and of itself changed everything. I am now my own point of mental origin.

    I came here after spending time in the MRA and MGTOW world. I actually had a MGTOW channel with 22,000 views, growing very rapidly and saw myself slipping into a passive mode of living out this journey via a fantasy-world, virtual existence to which too many men in the ‘sphere retreat. I began to see that this was a coping mechanism to deal with a world that shamed me and denigrated me, and needed me to see myself as not good enough. I began to see that I truly did only value myself as a service animal to women and my employers and my country and the world (and earlier in my life, to God). I got that running away into the internet was no different than being a drunk or smoking weed all day long or jacking off to porn frenetically. It was a way to salve the endless suffering which had come to characterize my existence but did nothing to change it at a fundamental level – and I wanted more than that.

    As I read more here, I began to see that the first job was an internal one. “Internal game” is the only game there is. The rest is just bullshit and hot air (Mark Minter is a case study of this phenomena). I was actually challenged and threatened by the men here who were doing something to change themselves, rather than railing about how fucked up everything is. When I realized that I had given up on being a better man, that I HAD GIVEN UP ON MYSELF, I was floored. I saw that I hated myself for it but that this realization was buried under so much pain and cynicism and hopelessness and injury that I didn’t even know it was there. The only choice was to “start again” as the Buddhists say. In every moment, one can begin life over and that is what I did.

    It hasn’t been easy. Many men here watched me go through that brutal, existential crisis and angst publicly. Letting go of so many old ideas about who I was and instead grasping onto a self-loving, and healthily self-centered existence was an unnatural act for me. But I stuck with it, and men here cheered me along the way. I slowly began to serve myself solely for the purpose of my own joy and my own purposes and my own desires.

    A few months ago, I noticed there was still a big gap between what I believed and how I was behaving so I slipped into what Illimitable Men calls “Monk Mode”. More and more, I dropped off this site and instead began to internalize all that I learned here. I demanded that I live each day of my life consistent with what I’ve learned here and found that I was able to do so. Talking about it became unimportant and I also needed to prove to myself that I truly was on a serious path of self-improvement – the only path any “Rational Male” should put themselves on in this world.

    Field Report: As a result, for starters, I’ve lost 20 lbs and put on serious muscle mass. But even with this, I’ve also been able to be much more effective with my entire approach. I get much better results from the same efforts as I made in the past because I’ve become interested in maximizing the outcomes. I’ve done a “make over” to my business, creating a brand platform, business model and point of view that is actually inspiring and plays as big as I know myself to be in my industry. Business is racing towards me now and the general reaction in my network is, “It’s about time, Glenn”. I was playing too small due to how beaten down I was.

    I also get to pursue what I want with women, without shame. I currently have 3 20-something hot (7+) plates that I spin with no drama for me. I took up working on cars again and have had personal victories fixing things that may seem small to others but are so self-affirming. I’ve even taken on becoming a great guitarist instead of being the picker & grinner I’ve settled for. I’ve also attended to my appearance and while I’m 53, I look 40. Whenever someone asks my age and I say 53 they are just shocked. The most telling reactions are from my peers (female or male) who have let themselves slide and give themselves excuses as I had begun doing more and more.

    Best? I’m more me than ever. Far from perfect but with far less internal conflict. My anxiety, a lifelong issue is much better and I’m simply more self-loving and caring. I’ve even come to peace with the parental alienation my ex-wife did to my daughter and me. I accept where she is at now as a consequence of our divorce and her Mom’s behavior. No longer do I feel outraged that I’m the unappreciated Dad who provided for 2 decades and was always there, only to be shit on. I’m trying to build a new relationship with her, we’ll see how it plays out. But either way – I’m okay. I no longer see this as a central failure in my life. No, it’s just the shit that happens in this fucked up world. I’m also clear that I did my very best – I was a great Dad in the face of unbelievable opposition and I’m damn proud of that.

    You and this site have been a big catalyst for all this. The men here, this community of brilliant, high achieving, brutally honest men have been the support I needed on this journey. It’s magnificent, and you should be very proud of what you’ve created. You also exemplify what you speak of, which is perhaps the most subtly crucial aspect of what you do here, Rollo. My hat’s off to you, it’s a privilege and an honor to be a member of this community and to be taught by you. Thank you for saving my life.

  19. Quick question: What did Rollo mean when he said “Don’t LARP here”?
    I’m not familiar with live action role playing games and how that applies to comments here.

  20. @SJF

    It’s a usage coined by YaReally recently. He used it as a way to ridicule Roosh followers who were being highfalutin melodramatic about the pushback he was getting. They were acting like they were the heroes in a fantasy movie fighting bravely against evil, he quoted them as saying things like ‘whatever shall come, know, roosh, that we stand beside you.’ It was pretty funny.

    So basically, be real here. Accept the world as it is and yourself as you are – strong but limited. Avoid a narcissistic perspective where the world is a movie and you’re the hero.

  21. I’m sure it was difficult to pick blog posts for the best of Year 4, as so many of them were so good. @scribblerg – awesome post – illustrates the importance of focused action. Let us know how your progress goes. Time to get my ass back to work…

  22. I think the Roosh episode was very valuable. It was courageous — I would never be able to put myself out there like he did. Now there are two sides to this debate. In however ugly a fashion, Roosh put the ‘sphere in the public eye. No matter what, we won’t make any progress until that happens. We’ll see where this all goes next.

  23. To add — we have to build on the beginnings of that episode. The Roosh thing turned out to be brilliant, honestly. Perhaps not through any special wisdom, but through what we learned as a result. There is a way to insert the ‘sphere into the public political discussion. By triggering an extreme and violent reaction from feminists, he raised a legitimate question about the limits of free speech, an issue that is already heavily politicized and deeply unsettled. Many, many mainstream conservatives are already on heightened alert for leftist overreaction aimed at suppressing unwanted speech. So episodes like this gave mainstream conservatives an opening they couldn’t refuse, because it was a blatant, indeed violent example of speech policing by the left. They are, in effect, forced over to our side: enabled to join because they can dodge the substantive issue and harp instead on the more obvious procedural issue (free speech).

  24. @Lucien – Fuck Roosh. He’s a racist, a pseudo-intellectual and an loser. It would be great if we could proceed as though he’s yesterday’s news. His deal is simple. He painted himself into a corner personally and professionally. Any sentient man could have told him that running your entire life around fucking Eastern European women while you live out of cheap hostels or AIRBnbs and eat Ramen Noodles is no formula for a happy life. To build a business around it, and to throw horrific misogynist, racist and other idiotic rhetoric around so loosely has predictable consequences as well. He’s reaping what he’s sown. While he may have been helpful a long time ago, he chose his nihilistic, ridiculous existence and became a caricature of himself years ago. He’s a punchline to a bad joke. He also leads a battalion of flying monkey man-children who reveal with their every utterance what bottom feeding scum they are.

    To now announce he’s become a TradCon, and that this is the way forward men now is equally idiotic and and even more laughable. Do you think he’s doing some good for the manosphere? He’s damaging the manosphere by speaking for it. I don’t associate or identify with lowlife scumbags like Roosh. I checked him out 3 years ago, figured out he was a punk and moved on. He doesn’t speak for me and has nothing to offer me and now is in his last gasps of relevance as he pulls publicity stunts to squeeze cash out of his flying monkeys.

    On TRM, we are about being fully realized men on our own terms. That’s interesting and helpful for men. Fyi, if you want sound PUA advice, check out Krauser or RSD or some of the others out there, I like Krauser a lot. There is never a need for Roosh – unless one is also a racist, loser, pseudo-intellectual punk…

  25. Roosh has become a carnival barker, nothing more. His motive is publicity he hopes will turn into some kind of MSM notoriety, all at the cost of selling out the men who need real answers.

    Neomasculinity is just a vehicle for this. He is brilliant, but only insofar as predicting the most obvious reactions of his provocations.

  26. Rollo’s blog is a treasure in terms of its perspicacity, its depth of understanding and the quality of information it provides. Perhaps the best of its kind. Unfortunately however, at the end of the day it makes for a depressive conclusion because the AFC who comes to this blog will only realize how deep a hole he is in. The challenges faced by someone ‘too far gone’, like me are of an entirely different magnitude. In the final analysis, as M3 very poignantly points out in his ‘Confessions of a Reformed Incel’ post, confidence can only come from external validation.
    Absent that the AFC digs himself only deeper into the hole with the passage of time. M3’s post says everything that needs to be said. After a life time of deprivation, disappointment, self loathing and falling flat on one’s face it becomes almost pointless to pick oneself up for the 10,001st time. I can almost hear the response that the AFC may have been doing the wrong things and has probably not understood TRP correctly etc. The bitter truth is that it is all easier said than done. The practical obstacles in many cases are almost insurmountable. By the time many come to Rollo’s blog they are at ‘unhelpable’ stage 3 cancer level. Even if TRP helps, the quality of life that can be reclaimed before a possible relapse doesn’t seem worth the effort. At the end of the day, for someone like me TRP can only explain my condition but not cure it. MGTOW is not escapism, it is the captain standing in salute, instead of running around the ship, when he knows for certain that the ship will soon sink.

  27. @SJF

    Mmmkay then! Not responsive to what I said in any way, but that’s cool.

    Change is never clean or pretty.

  28. If you want a good example of LARPing read any tweet or blog post from Quintus Curtius.

    YaReally and RSD (I think) coined it, but essentially it’s guys quoting their favorite fantasy battle / historical movie battle speeches as if they have some IRL legitimacy.

    It’s dungeons & dragons for guys who think they’re on some idealistic crusade against SJWs.

  29. I love the fiction idea. Use a female pseudonym, get a few million fans and then drop the bomb.

    Thanks for the work.

  30. Rollo, thank you for your writing. The wisdom is much appreciated, even moreso as no man whom I know IRL knows even a fraction of what is written here and in your books.The only problem with it is that it arrived too late in my life but that’s not your fault.

    Regarding Roosh, my impression is that he’s perused one wet’n hairy hole too many. I aver from his writing that he’s surpassed a notch count limit where fucking for the sake of fucking loses it’s luster: if every woman is merely the life support system of a pussy and every pussy looks, feels, smells the same, then, for what get up every morning and work towards the next notch?

    Re Roosh’s Canada adventure: he stated at the beginning of this year IIRC that one of his goals for the year was to become a Youtube star. And, how best to become known if not by stirring controversy? Roosh would be a step closer to stardom if that was the purpose of the thing. It had it’s benefit though, as the cranky out-of-control Canadian feminists and their white knights demonstrated so convincingly how much they needed that punch into their soft underbelly.

    Still, my spidey feeling tells me that, with success, Roosh will eventually sell out to the MSM and become somebody more or less like that creepy Dr. Oz he met. I hope I’m wrong with this one. AFAIK he doesn’t have an income stream beyond RoK and his pickup books, and that will dry out with time. Does anybody still buy Mystery or Strauss or Shade? That’s how it will eventually work out for Roosh too. Nobody can live of sex, even pimps and whores retire eventually

    I bought Quintus’ book and liked it.

    Those criticisms of Roosh posted in this thread show convincingly (to me) that there is no such thing as “the manosphere”. The term is merely a contrivance used to denote an imaginary granfalloon.

    @InsanityBytes22: Tits out or GTFO!

  31. @rollo
    rock on dude. ur awesome.
    @insanity bites
    keep on keeping on you bitter hag/cat lady-in-waiting (note her use of “tomassi” in a transparent attempt to ‘put him in his place’. Hint: go re-read orwell you battle-axe.

  32. “..note her use of “tomassi” in a transparent attempt to ‘put him in his place’…”

    Not at all. It’s a sign of informal respect. If I didn’t find Tomassi somewhat endearing and charming, I’d simply call him an asshole.

    Also, your indifference is showing again, you morons. Are you all so desperate for attention, you cannot help but mention my name?

  33. @ IndiscreetThoughts

    The plight of the AFC is rooted in the belief he has something to lose by discarding the Bluepill. This a mirage, a self imposed prison of materialism and social validation. The AFC could lose everything in 48 hours if his house burns down and he gets fired the next day, and that would be tragic from a Bluepill perspective.

    The Redpill perspective would see it as liberating one from his immediate social and material burdens. The Redpill is a blank slate, ctrl-z, do-over, Mulligan, a new start. No easy paths, or simple recipes, but rather the wonder of liberty and true freedom. And you get your life back, YOUR LIFE. A life to be used for yourself, your happiness, your dreams.

    Your life is what you lost following the AFC script. The Redpill is the only way to get it back.

  34. @Badpainter
    “This a mirage, a self imposed prison of materialism and social validation.”

    Whoa about that part.

    “No easy paths, or simple recipes, but rather the wonder of liberty and true freedom. And you get your life back, YOUR LIFE. A life to be used for yourself, your happiness, your dreams.”

    I’m done with trying to bring men to the red pill if they want to know about they may be better off finding it for themselves I’ve lost to many of my male mentors by bringing this stuff up in public.

  35. rugby11ljh – “I’m done with trying to bring men to the red pill if they want to know about they may be better off finding it for themselves.”

    Stop trying. That’s not your job. You have no obligation to do anything.

    I don’t go about trying to change minds. However, many men are standing toe to the line with discovering the Redpill. These topics come up all the time. I just ask questions about their experience “why do you think that is?”, or make observation “have you ever noticed that…” little nudges that sometimes help a brother to see things a bit differently. I see my role as helping guide someone to finding the answers. Usually I can tell how receptive someone is to these ideas. The key is knowing when to change direction and start talking about sports lest I over step.

    So stop trying to convert the blues. Instead just listen to them, encourage them to rant simply by listening. Men have few people, and few places where we can talk about these thing free from the FIs manipulations, and shaming. You can be that, an ear to the voiceless. Of course, you have no obligation to do even that.

  36. What’s the ultimate goal of so called “manosphere”?
    Turn 100% males into alphas?
    Are you fucking nuts?
    In animal kingdom it never happens – animal “societies” are stable mostly because there is not so much alphas (up to 20% typically).
    Job you do here is “good” (educating poor betas), but…so what?
    Hypergamy doesn’t care…

  37. @Badpainter
    “The key is knowing when to change direction and start talking about sports lest I over step.”

    Well he’ll just came back from being a two buddy’s of mine. I am not the best of listeners out their. I do try but I have a long way to go.

    Just got done biking from DC went to meet some new pals. They are hackers in some way the Ashley website came up. I started getting into Rollos work… Than they mentioned that they did a scan of the site stats and found only 30 thousand actual men on the site. I wants to get into hypergamy and black hat hacking. How nothing online is fool proof how even if all my things are gone tommorow even if I lose all acess to the internet I can build something inside myself to maintain. My frame of reference. They where puzzled and asked about how the law handlers people who expose others to blackmail at work or suicide. I told them that those where things that can be changed from other than your own perspective of the event.

    White knight blue pill beta…
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ko3-iCZvnQk
    Buffers countless buffers I listen badly yet I try to give my time my presence.
    I need to work on myself. I need to get back to performing and knowing I need I most get over myself to becoming better than I ever was and grow into what I imagine is being a man.

    It’s a good day to ride a bike to drink water to sleep on sheets that aren’t from bed bath and beyond.

  38. @Red_Pill_For_What

    Rollo’s job is to bring the horses (and Donkeys like yoy) to the water, and it’s up to them to drink.

  39. Grandma Insanity: “Also, your indifference is showing again, you morons. Are you all so desperate for attention, you cannot help but mention my name?”
    Ps?¿
    I understand your obsession with Tomassi’s blog.

  40. @ scribblerg

    re: “Internal game” is the only game there is.”

    100% agree.

    @ Red Pill For What

    The men that read this blog and take it seriously are a fraction of a percent of the men in the world.

    Consider yourself lucky to have found this place, and luckier if you have the presence of mind to take the information seriously and apply it IRL.

    @ SJF

    Been on a rollercoaster. Everything going on with this girl has been a lesson in The Red Pill. The Twilight Zone shit really starts happening when you’re involved with women IRL and see how this stuff plays out.

    What a mindfuck. I see now that this is what most other guys on here are dealing with. It feels like I’m living a double life.

    But I know I’m not. It just feels like I’ve traveled to another universe now that I’ve progressed from thinking and writing about this stuff to actually applying it and observing it IRL.

    I can catch myself reverting to Blue Pill thinking. And I can correct myself to Red Pill behaviors. I’m still new to all this, but holy shit. What a mindfuck. At least for the time being. I trust that I’ll get used to it after a while.

    Knowing the guys here’ve got my back helps me a lot. I appreciate it.

  41. @Badpainter

    “The AFC could lose everything in 48 hours if his house burns down and he gets fired the next day, and that would be tragic from a Bluepill perspective.
    The Redpill perspective would see it as liberating one from his immediate social and material burdens. The Redpill is a blank slate, ctrl-z, do-over, Mulligan, a new start.”

    Fuck damnation, man. Fuck redemtpion, We are god’s unwanted children, so be it….

    It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

    (here’s the clip)

  42. @Badpainter
    “The AFC could lose everything in 48 hours if his house burns down and he gets fired the next day, and that would be tragic from a Bluepill perspective. The Redpill perspective would see it as liberating one from his immediate social and material burdens. The Redpill is a blank slate, ctrl-z, do-over, Mulligan, a new start.”

    I realize that it is your intention to help the AFC see things from an entirely different perspective. What you are describing is an experience akin to religious conversion or seeing life for what it is. It is a somewhat simplistic take on the situation. An analogy would be ‘why can’t a homeless guy stop being a victim of his own actions and make something of his life?’. Sure he could but ask him and what he will say is something like ‘at the end of the day I am not going to be a successful because I start imagining that I am or by redefining success. Only a king who has been treated as one can actually experience the true confidence of being a king.’

    Of course, one can say hell with social expectations, it is all so BP. Another analogy is that of serving life in prison. Sure one can escape or can die trying. Easier said than done. At the end of the day no human being can pursue quixotic enterprises with abandon. Reality will bite you in the ass so hard that it hurts to sit. What then, f*%k sitting? Stand and walk all day? You see where I am going?

    Again, it is not my intention to denigrate Rollo’s excellent work. But as Red_Pill_for_What points out, alphas by definition, will be a small minority of the male populace. Personality is not simply an uncomfortable jacket one can take off and upgrade. It is not just biological but a slave’s shackle too. Easy to say ‘cast it off’ and the slave will wonder what it is that you are smoking.

    Yes, I am using hyperbole but to make a point. Competition and hypergamy are relentless. TRP guy may not want to compete but out in the real world he has to compete and statistically there will be far fewer winners than losers. Without sufficiently many victories it is difficult to stay at the top for an extended period of time. There is a zero sum game aspect to the situation because confidence is intimately linked to social status which by definition is a pyramid like structure. Why do 99% of startups fail? Why can’t they improve their products? Well because even if they did, a startup remains valuable only to the extent that it can provide more value than its competitors. The moment it produces lesser value than its competitors it gets onto a slippery slope.Your product may be genuinely good but you can’t remain solvent if there is a better product out there that is being sold at a similar/lower price. The customers don’t care one bit whether you are an improved product. They won’t even notice you unless you are the best in some objective sense. You are out of business and your confidence will soon follow.

    If this sound somewhat like a communist manifesto that focuses on envy, one must point out a key difference. Health and wealth can reasonably can belong to all. But status is a different animal altogether. To the extent that one individual gains status someone else has to lose it. In the context of game, sure an AFC can become irresistibly seductive but then knowingly or unknowingly, he is nullifying the charms of some previously charming seducer and given that he is a relative newbie chances are that he will struggle to stay at the top. But the top is precisely what women are concerned with. Ignoring the reality of your status often becomes borderline delusional.

    There is a reason why we have twice as many female ancestors as compared to male ancestors. The majority of males in history never reproduced. Hypergamy weeded them out.

  43. Congratulations Rollo and long live to The Rational Male, for the knowledge you provide is becoming more necessary by the day for all men. I found this blog about four years ago. I had been reading other manosphere sites for a while, but it was yours that finally rammed down my throat The Red Pill; specially the “Women in Love” post. Boy, did it hurt like hell, so many illusions broken, so many questions answered in the few minutes it took me to read that short piece. I know this new found wisdom will spare me a lot of pain and possibly financial ruin, yet I’m no longer capable of loving women (not even my mother) the way I supposed I should and still can’t say if that’s good or bad. Definitely freedom is not free.

  44. Roosh has become a carnival barker, nothing more. His motive is publicity he hopes will turn into some kind of MSM notoriety, all at the cost of selling out the men who need real answers.

    Neomasculinity is just a vehicle for this. He is brilliant, but only insofar as predicting the most obvious reactions of his provocations.

    I agree. This explains his obvious attempts to pander to the mainstream Right. The obvious problem with this approach, as with any similar one, is the implicit assumption that more and more men will be willing to engage in any sort of political and social activism in the future and thus act as useful idiots for him and his ilk. The opposite is in fact true.

    On a different note, again I’ll make the suggestion that you add a “10 latest comments” feature to the blog.

  45. I’ve been presently surprised by this blog and your teachings Rollo. Before I found this blog I’ve known about Tom Leykis for years, and I really enjoy his advice on women and dating, but there is no real explanation of female behavior there. It’s too superficial. It doesn’t go deep. You are no PUA, I like that because I’m tired from reading books that only tell men what buttons to push and when. And I don’t want to be a PUA clown anymore like I was in my early twenties. I’ve bought both your books and am happy that I found affirmation for what I have been thinking about for so many years now. Please continue and make sure no blog will ever get lost.

  46. What’s the ultimate goal of so called “manosphere”?
    Turn 100% males into alphas?

    There is no goal because there is no leadership. The manosphere is an information clearing-house and discussion forum, not a political party.

    My ultimate goal is to live a good life for myself and my family, with a macro goal of sustaining and re-invigorating Western Civilization, which is by far the best thing humanity ever produced.

  47. Those of us that “Just Get It” have reveled in Rollo Tomassi’s idea that a bottoms up approach is where it is at, more-so than a top down societal approach

    @Softek

    From Rollo’s first year essay “Dream Girls and Children Playing with Dynamite”:

    “Another very common occurrence is the “reformed” AFC who makes progress toward becoming more Game savvy, and as a result gets his “dream girl”, only to lose her after reverting back into an AFC frame once he’s in an LTR with her. I’m not a big Ross Jefferies fan, but he did say something very profound once, he said “teaching PUA skills to these chumps is like giving dynamite to children.” This is probably truer than he realized, because the potential for disaster is much higher. Most guys want that silver bullet, the magic formula that will get them the girl, but it does nothing to prepare them for the idyllic LTR their beta nature has fantasized about for so very long. They don’t become Men, they become children with dynamite. So are we really surprised when the guy who finally gets his Dream Girl as a result of learning Game becomes despondent and suicidal when he loses the “best thing he’ll ever have” when she leaves him? Are we shocked when his ONEitis turns out to be a BPD girl and his life’s ambitions fall into a death-spiral because he was unprepared to deal with a post-Game LTR?

    The problem with just employing PUA skills to get any woman is that sometimes it actually gets you ANY woman. There’s no vetting process, no discernment, taught as part of technique. AFCs get so impressed with their new found PUA confidence and getting hotter women, getting their old friend-zone girl interested, or getting women at all, that they have no motivation to think about who they should get involved with. They’re unprepared for emotionally manipulative women, and particularly when they’re more attractive than anything they’d ever had before. They obsess. They predictably get ONEitis, but they develop a ONEitis and in such an extreme case they can be suicidal about a woman they’d previously never been able to attain.

    PUA skills are tools, and valuable ones at that, but adopting a positive masculine mindset prepares an AFC for more. An AFC needs to divorce himself from deep set social and psychological schemas – he needs to unlearn the self-delusions that a lifetime has conditioned him to internalize into his personality. Giving an AFC Game skills before this transition will only condemn him to disappointment and despair in an LTR. The more important lesson is learned in the discarding of that old, beta, way of thinking, while understanding the tools and techniques to apply the new, confident, positive masculine mindset.”

    Don’t wish it were easier. Wish you were better at being a masculine man. Make yourself better. Don’t be a pussy and commit suicide. That’s the easy way out.

    We are here to help.

    A wise man said this to me recently: “Isn’t it amazing how really owning yourself and your life is the key? It’s not esoteric, nor is it even “hard”. It’s simply about taking yourself and your life seriously in terms of what you want and how your actions connect to it.”

  48. My ultimate goal is to live a good life for myself and my family, with a macro goal of sustaining and re-invigorating Western Civilization, which is by far the best thing humanity ever produced.

    On the other hand, many people in the ‘sphere promote hastening its inevitable demise. The funny thing is that SJWs, other useful idiots and average women are doing much more to bring that about than Manospherians ever could. We won’t even have to try.

  49. @IndiscreetThoughts – It literally turns my stomach to listen to you embrace your weakness and failures. You can look at loss and failure as validation of who you are (or aren’t) or simply as feedback to help you adjust course to maximize your life and the outcomes you seek to create. A few thoughts for other guys out there who may be tempted to be like you (not for you, as you are clearly a lost cause):

    1. All game is local and to some degree, relative – Even In a group of incels there is a pecking order. In any ecology you find yourself part of, the social order is relative, not absolute. I’m in technology and in certain geekish/nerdy groups, some guys who wouldn’t stand a chance of getting laid in the world I roll in get pussy as they have high status and are clearly of relatively higher value in those cirle. These guys are usually fit and also have some social skills though (which one can develop). I play this game as an older guy as well. Example: A wingman I tried working with for a while insisted on going to bars and while I enjoy approaching and flirting in those settings as a way of sharpening my skills, it’s a very low probability scene for me. Instead I focus on settings where I can demonstrate my high value easily – other social gatherings and volunteering and playing music/doing gigs. There is this thing called “strategy” which can help you in life, you ought to try it sometime. Next time you are about to whack off to porn, instead try reading Genghis Khan or Sun Tzu or Porter (MBA style) on strategy.

    2. How often does one have to “win” to be “successful”? IRL, people who are successful fail most of the time at the various things they attempt (falling short is a better way to think of it rather than black or white, succeed/fail thinking). You mention startups, lol. I coach/advise founders of startups for a living and I can tell you that they all know the risks of failure are high. Many have done multiples – just as I have – and most efforts fail just as I have. In the startup world we embrace failure as a learning and growth experience, not an end state. Fyi, in tech, about 90% of angel funded startups fail within 7 years, so your 99% is just more negative projection. A 90% chance is a much better chance, 1 in 10 versus 99%, 1 in 100. My point? Everyone you think is outperforming you isn’t, they just don’t give up when they “lose”.

    3. Alpha is a metaphor – The alpha idea doesn’t even really fit humans that well, or even wolves as it turns out. Our social systems and intersexual relations are much more complex. Attraction is triggered by many factors and dominance can be achieved via many means other than being a brute or an asshole. What it does reveal though is an essential truth about life that is hidden from most of us in this anodyne, feminized world. All of life is a competition from the moment we are born. We compete for the affection of our parents, for jobs, in games, for love, for sex, for all material goods. The very fact that we overreproduce sets all this in motion. Alpha allows one to see oneself as a powerful actor in all of these settings. I just watched the new Netflix series, Narco (worthwhile and well done) and one of the bad guys asks himself and his son several times. “Are we wolves or are we sheep”? This is a decision a man makes based on who he decides to be, not based on externalities or outcomes. I’m a wolf, you are a sheep and you apparently love it – that makes me puke. This is a den for men who have decided to be wolves.

    You have a choice. Do you like being on the losing end of the games in life? If not, you can choose to play to win – knowing (like the rest of us already do) that you will not win most of the time. Even look at the PUAs like Krauser, his failure rate is incredibly high. Does he just say, “Oh well, the game is too hard, I’ll just embrace being a loser”.

    Bottom line? The difference between you and the men playing the game to win in the world? We already got up off the mat the 10,001st time and will do so after the millionth time. We hate the taste of giving up and surrender far more than the bitter taste of losing/failure. And oh yeah, if you start grooving in these ways of thinking and set about improving yourself seriously, you will win sometimes. It’s the taste of sweet victory that makes the rest worthwhile. Whether it’s SJF and his farm or sinking your cock balls deep in a hottie or getting “desire sex” from one’s wife, victory is sweet. But you’ll never know it because you have embraced a losing mentality.

    Last. Your life is no harder than any other man’s, you’ve just being a pussy. What’s bizarre is that you are wearing it like a badge of honor – there is no honor available here for you with such an attitude. We only have disgust for you. Go back to reading your incel manifestos and bitching about how unfair life is somewhere else, we aren’t buying what you are selling and see through you easily. Life sucks – get a helmet and toughen up, buttercup

  50. I can’t link to it but go to Rollo’s Blogroll on the right. Click on The Man The Myth.

    Go to the section on Cognition and read the following essay:

    “Self Destruction is Not Self Improvement

    If you’re a man who is interested in self-improvement you know that change hurts. Growth is uncomfortable. Introspection is worse. Whether your battles are mental, emotional, social, or physical, chances are if you’re striving to better yourself it’s gonna hurt like hell at some point in your journey. Some men are not cut out for that journey from the get-go, but luckily for them there are ways that you can conserve and strengthen your will power and resolve. Even if you don’t have strong willpower and have no desire to cultivate it, there’s a pretty good workaround for that too. While some men are capable of dealing with the pain associated with personal development, others get their wiring all crossed and start to crave the pain associated with self improvement instead of the improvement itself. This post is for those guys.

    “Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen. Few in pursuit of the goal.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

    People create identities around suffering. Because most things worth having or achieving require some amount of suffering, people often confuse the suffering part with growth and development. Nothing could be further from the truth. While suffering is often a normal byproduct of self-improvement, introspection, and even just mastering a new skill – suffering for suffering’s sake is a waste of time and pain.”

    How to Know if You’re a Self-Made Martyr:

    Communication
    -You talk about your suffering more than your accomplishments
    -You loudly and often declare your “principles” unsolicited, and how they directly lead to more suffering
    -You humblebrag
    -You boast about injuries/financial loss in a not-so-indirect way of showing how badass you are

    Choices

    -You take the harder road just so you can say you took the harder road
    -You create enemies so you have enemies to complain about
    -You subscribe to intense diets/workout routines and then tell everyone how hard they are, but how great you feel
    -You adopt an unhealthy work schedule of your own choosing – and then complain that you have no life

    Identity

    -You self-identify as a rebel or an outsider
    -You intentionally alienate yourself from support so you can say you have no support
    -You surround yourself with yes-men that congratulate you every step of the way while professing that you’re besieged on all sides by enemies of your own making”

    Read the rest at the blog described above.

  51. Hey fellas, don’t mean to be off subject but I figure this is a great place to ask a quick question.

    If a girl calls you “very pretentious”, well actually two at the same time, haha, thats pretty good, right?

    And yes, one of them was very upset while talking/yelling at me.

    Am I acting too important or should I pull it back a little bit?

    One of the chicks I know only said it because she wants the D from me so bad and I do no more then barely talk to her. I got one of those “I’m a female and have this incredibly intuition and do whatever the fuck I want” ear fulls, about the way I act, last night. I think it’s a compliment.

    FYI – I didn’t apologize and did no more then laugh and agree and amplify. I even sent her a friend request on facebook, this morning.

  52. Good year. I’ve been reading you for years, Rollo, and I finally decided to leave a comment and I retreated it for everybody following me on Twitter. So this reply, is a first for me. Keep up the great work.

  53. @23 – Fucking perfect. If you were @IndiscreetPussy you would have killed yourself instead. But you didn’t, you played it like a man who’s playing to win.

    Here’s a deeper insight. You may actually be pretentious but she secretly loves that you are and wishes she was. I’m starting to realize that one of the drivers for modern women is that they are trying to be like men but suck at it. They are socialized to tear others down to bring them down to their level (this is how female social circles work, the opposite of most male ones where we give each other shit to build each other up, not keep the other down). But deep down inside know they also know they are fucked in the heads and crave what men possess.

    Like @Insanitybytes telling us we are all morons, or referring to Rollo as “Tomassi”, it’s all a pose to be seen as tough like a man. But it’s just a pose to cover up how powerless and inadequate she feels in the face of powerful, actualized men who’ve spent their lives developing real toughness and wisdom instead of checking their makeup/outfits in the mirror…The proof of this occurs in the real world when confronted by real risk or danger or adversity – they crave the protection of a man/the state/the crowd rather than standing up against it every time.

    Biggest blind spot for men? How far superior we are in so many ways compared to women. The more you realize this, the less power they will have over you and the easier this all gets.

  54. @befromtexas – Don’t be humble here, give us what you’ve got, brother. Texas is awesome, fyi.

  55. @SJF – Mind blown, incredible wisdom right there. I lived this way and it ground me to dust. Put much more simply, i was told a long time ago that “pain is necessary for growth, but misery is optional”. Even worse, I wanted credit for my agony, and wanted others to notice.

    I think this is also about having an external point of origin in some ways. I’ve noticed that as I’ve become my own point of mental origin that I’m into optimizing everything more. It used to be that it was good enough to be working out 6 days a week and that I “deserved credit” in people’s eyes for that – which somehow had me take my eye off the ball of being effective. Now I’m always seeking the “better way” forward, not the hardest or the most “meritorious”. I don’t mean being immoral or cruel to others but as I mentioned, my workout program is so much more optimized these days cuz I seek what is most effective, not what is most grueling. I used to think it was cool if I puked while working out, lol. Not so much anymore.

    Brilliant stuff buddy, just brilliant.

  56. Re: Mental Point of Origin. A big thing for the Manosphere is just teaching men to do things that they want to do and benefit them instead of turning themselves into a draft horse for a woman’s fantasies. Which is what we are, increasingly, conditioned to do.

    That’s more a goal than “turn every guy into Don Juan.” I don’t think most people understand that, though.

    My Sunday morning is, I guess, boring as hell. I am keeping my house clean and weeding the lawn and hopefully cleaning my gutters. I have CSpan on in the background. I’m happy enough. But Red Pill =/= bottle service and strippers, anymore than AMOG=boisterous fratboy.

  57. More on @InsanityBytes – Notice that she wraps herself in Christianity. The reason why is that this is borrowed authority/power. She can’t rely on her own weak self and mind to interact with the world, she would have to be submissive in such a frame of reference because she really can’t stand on her own two feet without a man carrying her. But like so many “independent” women today, she’s got to pretend she’s powerful and wise to maintain her false consciousness. So, she leans on Christianity to borrow it’s credibility and set herself up as an authority.

    The proof is in the pudding. Has anyone here ever been uplifted or informed or inspired or motivated or educated by a fucking thing she says? Nope, it’s just amateur level logrolling and hyperbole. If she were a man, she’d have gotten the shit slapped out of her a long time ago and would just keep her mouth shut. But since she’s a modern woman, she gets away with murder. Not here of course…

    She’s such a stupid cunt, it’s entertainment at this point.

  58. @Definite Beta – Not boring at all, it sounds industrious. It sounds like you take your life and self and time seriously. Let the FI denigrate masculinity all it wants, your gutters won’t run over during the next big thunderstorm and maybe wash out the beds or gush on your families heads as they go in and out of the house. This is the stuff of being a man, living in the world, understanding its forces and engaging it to your own ends. Have a great day.

  59. @scribblerg

    Thanks for the response.

    And yes, when you swallow the RP and actually get out in the real world, you start seeing how utterly useless and self centered (self centered doesn’t even describe it ), women are.

    QUICK BACKGROUND – Last night, I go out with a buddy and meet up with another group of 1 guy and 2 girls. My two buddies WILL NOT approach women. It’s sad; my one friend is a tall, good looking guy whom owns a gym.. but he ain’t approaching any chicks.

    Anyways, I make an approach last night and then join my friends outside, after. This when the chick(s) starts in with me by criticizing the way I smoke my cigarette. Yes, really, the way I smoke my cig.

    This isn’t the first time I’ve had a chick lay into me but it cracks me up every time. This was the 3rd time I’ve ever been around this chick and I said this to her with a laugh and she said “Ooohhhhh, I’ve seen enough, to know”. Yup, that mythical female intuition and thinking they’re social masters and can pass judgment on anybody at any time, working right in front of my eyes. The RP truths being displayed right in front of me and I’m loving every second of it.

    I know that her anger was produced by me approaching a chick and completely ignoring her.

    Isnt this amazing, though? We’ve got to a point where there’s SO MANY BETAS and guys are so terrified of approaching, that if you actually approach, you get hated on and made fun of??!!!

    It’s like you’re EXPECTED to stand at the bar, drink pressed against your chest and be a plugged-in boob. If you break this norm, you’re a d-bag, that’ll be hated on.

    And I know my two buddies wanted me to fail on my approaches. It’s said but its the truth. A dude that can’t approach, will NEVER root on a guy that does. It’s a sad reality.

    The amount of examples you see of female solipsism after you internalize the red pill, is FRIGHTENING.

  60. @23 – I’m no master at pickup. YaReally,Vulpine and some others around here are genius but I do have some advice anyway. If you are getting serious hate, my guess is you aren’t doing the push/pull thing that well. Responding in a way that is humorous, not dismissive is the key. Amplify, but do so in a goofy way, with a smile and carefree attitude and then turn it back to her. “Yeah, i’m super arrogant, it’s ridiculous I know. But how ’bout you? I don’t see you reeking of low self-esteem either.” Or “There is a really insecure guy over there, why aren’t you talking to him instead of me?” Engaging, puts it back on her and a sly compliment. There has to be up/down/push/pull to activate her fantasy hamster.

    The denigrating all attempts is merely a social convention which comes from all women believing they are dimes, which is more delusion born of the “adipositivity” movement and other attempts to shift beauty norms in favor of women all being able to shoot high. But do you see how I flipped the script to get right back in her head? You have to get in a woman’s head if you want to fuck her. Their weak shit can be easily overcome if you don’t get pushed off your game. Great field report, keep ’em coming.

    One important point. I don’t believe women are useless at all. In fact, when it comes to aesthetics (a crucial part of life), emotions, maintaining coherence in social settings, nurturing and smaller but important tasks that are part of a bigger picture, I think women are impressive. Where they fall down is the big picture/complexity/technology and at managing risk intelligently. I believe men and women are complimentary when they both behave like men and women. The problem today is that women are aping men, and also have been filled with delusions by our FI soaked, femcentric society about their worth/power, and with denigrating views about men, fathers, boys etc. But a woman who is comfortable being a woman and lives her femininity full out is a thing of beauty, and a wonderment to behold. It’s just that most of them aren’t living this way anymore. This is also why so many of them are so stingy emotionally, which may be the most vile aspect of modern women.

    Okay boys, I’m off, have a busy day myself. Love reconnecting here and being part of this community again.

  61. “She’s such a stupid cunt, it’s entertainment at this point.”

    I forgive you scribblerg, because you are such a wounded and broken human being you cannot even see beauty in the world anymore. I am so sorry for all the crap you have been through, and for your inability to heal.

    Here’s a little bit of wisdom you should avail yourself of. The words you speak over others you are really speaking over yourself. Step one, stop perceiving yourself as a stupid cunt unworthy of anything good in life. Your words don’t hurt me at all, they only hurt you. Stop hurting yourself and start pulling something more positive your way.

  62. @23

    “This when the chick(s) starts in with me by criticizing the way I smoke my cigarette. Yes, really, the way I smoke my cig.”

    this is mega interest

    @longgone

    Church? She’s stuck in Sunday School, “sticks and stones”, “it takes one to know one”

  63. I just got back from lifting at the gym, then delivering a truck bed of firewood (ash) that I had stockpiled and split at my farm to a friend. Also gave him a canvas panoramic photo of him piloting his express cruiser boat (out of respect for him taking us boating and being a masculine male). Then went and picked up some fertilizer and ironite for the lawn, as well as some peat and hummus to plant some new hydrangeas in the yard.

    So.

    I find that humorous because anyone that has been following the comments section can comprehend that ScribblerG has stopped his self-loathing and has become more self actualized and positive thanks to Rollo and The Rational Male and the comments section. It is self evident to someone that cares about the male condition. (She either didn’t read or can’t comprehend what he wrote above).

    When women lose frame (ie. we are not in her frame here–whatever that frame may be, I don’t know), or whoever they are arguing with refuses to submit to their emotions they make shit up and try to double down on shaming like “…because you are such a wounded and broken human being you cannot even see beauty in the world anymore.” A crude, simple attempt at shaming.

    Frame is not power. You are not in a man’s frame on the comments section. You are off to the side sniping. And you are making shit up out of thin air.

    If you want to read a great expose of how women argue go to the Illimitable Men blog and then to it’s archives section (Issue 20 How Women Argue).
    This essay is a must read for LTR’s. Anyone in a LTR please do yourself a favor and go read it.

    Here is a sampling:

    “The fundamental difference in what women say they want, and what they actually want is a product of the notion that women tend to exercise rationalization, not reason in and of itself. Most women have extremely weak reasoning, you’ll notice in arguments with them that they will try to attack the credibility of your logic to try to make themselves look better, this is the classic “I can’t beat the competition so I’ll try to make the competition less effective” strategy that women employ on a grand scale with ideas like fat acceptance, but applied on a micro-scale in their interactions on a one-to-one basis.

    Questioning a man’s logic and credibility is a way a woman essentially “brings a man down to her level of absurdity.” There comes a line of questioning so invasive, so interrogative and so unreasonable, that a man, feeling like he is on the defence, will yield his logic to his sense of frustration, and then the woman who deliberately and calculatingly imposed this form of mental tyranny in her sense of outrage will then use this frustration as a weapon against the man to further reduce his credibility by pointing out quite proudly that he is in fact no more logical than she!”

    Although you have to admit in this case it is an extra-ordinary weak salvo.

  64. @ All – Took a break to eat a late breakfast on the deck, lakeside 😎. Couldn’t help it I picked up the iPad to see what drivel would fall out of this insufferable bitch. According to her own “logic” she must be a moron as she called all of us morons. This is junior high school level rhetoric.

    She also makes a big deal out of forgiving me, lol. Guys does she sound like she forgives me? Or is this just more of her hiding behind her faith to boost her own sense of weakness and powerlessness? She once again ignores that she threw the first stone on this thread, calling us all morons. Yet she presumes moral superiority – like I said, it’s just entertainment and education at this point folks. Also get that none of us actually matter to her, she’s just out to get tingles from Rollo’s attention.

    She’s just another status seeking whore living vicariously through others because deep down inside she hates herself , and for very good reason as she demonstrates amply non-stop.

  65. @SJF
    “Whether your battles are mental, emotional, social, or physical, chances are if you’re striving to better yourself it’s gonna hurt like hell at some point in your journey.”

    It’s as if hard work hurts but it’s needed to get something done. Something worth doing.

    @scribblerg
    “The proof of this occurs in the real world when confronted by real risk or danger or adversity – they crave the protection of a man/the state/the crowd rather than standing up against it every time.

    Biggest blind spot for men? How far superior we are in so many ways compared to women. The more you realize this, the less power they will have over you and the easier this all gets.”

    That’s real biological truth

    @23
    “A dude that can’t approach, will NEVER root on a guy that does. It’s a sad reality.”

    You know I’ve noticed that to. I don’t get angry about it but it’s rather disconcerting. Kinda how men can be more feminist like than women who already are.

    Keep
    At it approach and approach I try at least one a day.

  66. “sticks and stones”, “it takes one to know one”…..?

    Whatever…..however no queefing from that one for a very long time…from the pew or elsewhere.

  67. Alpha is a mindset
    10%
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k6JLo4FsWoI
    http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gustave_(crocodile)
    Just was reading this and think it shows that in nature some animals are alpha while others will never be. But still this guy is expressing all parts that I find get beating out of males in my species. The fact that he can attack a hippo because it’s their or that he can escape traps set up to kill him.

    On twitter astonishing pics I saw a photo Rollo shared of a lions face full of scares it lead me into thinking about this guy.

    Nature is the redpill.

  68. @ib

    here’s a site that will help you:

    http://joannameriwether.com/

    (note that “she decided to become an ordained interfaith minister. This training opened my eyes to the richness of spiritual belief across many traditions and the value of spiritual practice– calming and centering the self”).

    Focus on “Partnered women focused on someone else” and imagine that Rollo is your The Forbidden Fruit (albeit Rollo doesn’t seem a Fruit). I hope the spiritual help you find there blesses you.

  69. scribblerg,

    I see your point and all the more power to you. I am honestly happy for those of you who are doing well. At no point did I request sympathy in my post nor was it the purpose. Nor do I wish to pull anyone down.

    Naturally a sportsman entering the arena has to believe in his chances and fight his heart out. But if you are betting on the said sportsman I doubt if you will put your money where your mouth is based on his attitude alone. There is a real world in which there is an objective winning % he has been able to attain. He better be realistic about his limitations. Otherwise he is simply setting himself up for disappointment. All I was stating was that an individual’s character, circumstances, strengths/weaknesses etc. along with the level of competition he is facing place very real limitations on his overall possibilities. It is not my intention to wallow in despair. Rather the point is objectivity. It is one thing for a doctor to give courage to a patient but that’s not how he estimates the chances of success, however success is defined.

    But why the disgust and insults? That makes me suspect that you haven’t entirely made peace with some uncomfortable truths. For all the bluster, there is some anguish that can be read between your lines. Why? Therein lies my larger point. that fortune, circumstances, competition and personality are not necessarily overcome by will power, positive attitude and hard work alone. Again that is not a call to inaction but rather a call to reflection which is a necessary ingredient of wisdom.

  70. @IndiscreetThoughts

    “Therein lies my larger point. that fortune, circumstances, competition and personality are not necessarily overcome by will power, positive attitude and hard work alone.”

    actually your point was

    “circumstances, competition and personality are not overcome by will power, positive attitude and hard work”

    implicit in that is to give up or don’t bet on it if the odds are stacked against you. Scribblerg is telling us that will power, positive attitude and hard work does make a significant difference. Don’t ever allow some random dude or stupid cunt to tell you to give up.

  71. “But why the disgust and insults?”

    Can I take a stab at answering that?

    It’s to scare the pussies away. It’s masculine talk. To him, the only issue is “whether a comment is adding value and moving the dialog along in interesting ways. The ‘burden’ is to be engaging.”

    Unplugging from the matrix is hard work. Triage is needed to save those that can make it. And perhaps give up on those that aren’t willing to go forward under their own masculine self-improvement power in a quest to have control over their own circumstances and control the directions of their lives.

    Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life

    “Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done. They think, “If I can work enough, then one day I could rest.” Or, “One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining.” Or, “I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.” The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won’t. It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.” D. Deida, 1997

    If you don’t have a unique gift, then, well yeah, you might have it more difficult than those that are “doing well”. Doing well is relative both in the singular and the collective.

  72. OK, let me put it this way. I imagine most of you may have seen Nick Vujicic’s video below. I mean that’s TRP right there. Just one look at the man gives one a chance to learn a lot in life.

    But objectivity requires me to wonder how many individuals in his physical condition have been able to make as much of their lives as he has. It is likely to be a small percentage. That is not negativity. It is what it is and it is not their fault.

    Before one attains anything one has to have a personality built for it and more importantly, one has to accept some very harsh truths. One has to be realistic about what is possible. For many, the acceptance and realism are The hardest part because they bring into focus, the limitations on what can be achieved.

  73. @SJF

    “It’s to scare the pussies away”

    It’s how we talk in manspaces, and how men used to talk much of the time when there were lots of manspaces.

    “Put the fucking 50 cal on target cocksucker” is no longer allowed

    The FI is literally removing our ability to talk directly as men, and you can see that in the butthurt that results when Scribblerg calls it like it is.

    “Put your fucking talk on target cocksucker” seems to be no longer allowed here when discussing a FR. It has to be “constructive” and “not insulting” and offend nobody. We are being trained to talk like pussies.

  74. @IndiscreetThoughts

    First you had “Why do 99% of startups fail?” riff, and now you post a “no arms, no legs” video. Still pitching the defeat is ours BS. You might as well be IB and her “compelled to win is losing” crap. If you want to be a pussy, fine, but don’t try to turn it into a men’s club.

  75. @ IndiscreetThoughts

    You essential difficulty is to think the aggregate odds apply to individuals. The odds are a measure of aggregate difficulty and nothing more.

    One of the factoids I like least in the ‘sphere is the whole “only 40% of men breed’ thing. Assuming that’s true there’s no other useful data in that factoid. It doesn’t explain historical male vs. female infant and youth mortality. It doesn’t take into effect local environmental conditions. It doesn’t account for for lost opportunities due to injuries and deaths from war, occupational death and disability, or death and disability due to criminal activity. It says nothing about rates of infertility amongst men historically, or geographically.

    All of those things measured in the aggregate will remove men from the gene pool without consideration for how attractive they might have been, or how solid their game was. So if the 40% is correct it just tells us that being a man is hard. At the end of the day it’s just you, the individual coping with the environment (social, economic, physical, etc.), and all the other people. The aggregates don’t apply until you die. The test can’t be graded until completed.

    I have always worked under the idea that if one man can do something then it’s possible I to can do that thing if I really want to. If I really WANT to. It’s the wanting that is the limiting factor. If you wanted to be the owner of your life you would. If want to quit smoking you can. You can do anything you want to do if you are willing to pay the price. It seems you don’t really want to swallow the Redpill, and until you want to you won’t.

  76. “I have always worked under the idea that if one man can do something then it’s possible I to can do that thing if I really want to. If I really WANT to. It’s the wanting that is the limiting factor. If you wanted to be the owner of your life you would. If want to quit smoking you can. You can do anything you want to do if you are willing to pay the price. It seems you don’t really want to swallow the Redpill, and until you want to you won’t.”

    Neuroplasticity in the human brain is real and it is spectacular. Desire is a driver that gets that reprogramming a jump start. Masculine self-improvement starts with wanting and then is fueled by desire. It then proceeds from apprentice to a creative-active phase and on to mastery. (ref. on the latter Robert Greene’s Mastery)

    Come along for the ride here at TRM. Apprenticeships are free.

  77. “The problem with just employing PUA skills to get any woman is that sometimes it actually gets you ANY woman. There’s no vetting process, no discernment, taught as part of technique.”

    Just because I’m a stickler for accuracy, straight out of Mystery Method’s section entitled Screening:

    “So how can you convey to her that she is being screened? By asking screening questions, by giving IOIs and IODs at the right moments, and by actually having real standards about the kind of people you spend your time with. It has to be true for you in order to carry the necessary congruence.”

    PUA has taught guys to go gather field experience to determine what they want in women (the types of women you THINK you want before you go out and actually meet and interact with hundreds of them and see what qualities in them actually flip your personal switches, are often very different) and screen for it.

    I agree that newbies go power-mad and run wild with it and ignore the stuff on Screening or try to avoid ACTUALLY Screening because if a girl doesn’t pass their Screen it means potentially turning down sex with a girl which is new and exciting to them, but it was always TAUGHT. Human nature though, is to run wild with their new powers until they look around and realize they aren’t getting the quality girls they want and have banged a bunch of shitty girls and then go back and re-read stuff on Screening and go “ok, ya, I gotta do THIS more, shit…” lol

    The unfortunate reality of trying to give guys warnings is that most guys need to experience shit first-hand before they accept it. I can tell a newbie all about one-itis and BPD and unicorn syndrome and all that, I can break down every nuance of it and he can agree 100% with it, he can even relate to it because he went through similar stuff with a crush he once had or maybe his first girlfriend who broke his heart, and he’s seen his friends go through it etc. And he can 100% agree and nod his head at the end of the conversation and listen to you talk about it for months and months on end and even fully explain it himself because he listened so fuckin well.

    But the first decently cool HB7 he fucks, he’s going to come to you to tell you he’s met a girl who’s “not like the others” and is “special” and he’s going to probably get burned. And you’ll warn him but he’ll brush it off because ya he gets that OTHER guys run into that one-itis thing but you don’t KNOW her like I do man, you just don’t get her, you’re jaded and cynical from the bar sluts you pick up, you don’t know this girl she’s DIFFERENT.

    And when that doesn’t work out because he lets himself get absorbed into one-itis thinking he’s immune to it despite all your warnings and explanations, and he ends up doing everything wrong, he’ll simply rationalize it as “oh she was the wrong girl, if I had had the RIGHT girl it would be different” because society/Disney has taught him (and everyone) that if a monoLTR doesn’t work it’s because they had the wrong partner and not because they’re doing something wrong or because the institution of monogamous LTRs is inherently broken (in 2015 especially) or an uphill battle at BEST. Instead he’s told by everyone around him that he just needs to find the right girl.

    It’ll often take him getting burned a few times before he finally releases his fingertip death-grip on the Disney fantasy and realizes “maybe it’s not about which girl, maybe it’s something I’m doing or something wrong with the very structure of monoLTRs in general…but wait, what does that mean about marriage? What about kids? The doting monoLTR wife and white pickett fence and 2.5 kids vision I had? I can’t throw that out that was my whole reason for BEING, my entire LIFE!! I don’t HAVE a future in mind that doesn’t involve that exact classic stereotypical lifestyle in mind, it’s too scary to think about this new reality” and he’ll often try AGAIN, one last-ditch effort.

    But at some point he finally gives up and realizes that AWALT and that a lot of the shit he was taught by society gave him a lot of false hope and was full of a lot of bullshit and lies to keep him in line being a good worker bee and sacrificing himself and his happiness for other people or “the greater good” (as determined by people who don’t care about his needs or wants or what’s a greater good for HIM as a human being and man).

    He can’t get to that point from reading a couple chapters in a PUA guide or some blog articles…I wish he could, it would save guys a lot of pain. But like Tyler says in Fight Club “Only after disaster can we be resurrected.”

    The red pill is a jagged little one with razors sticking out of it.

    Also props on 4 years worth of excellent content. I found your blog when you were only like 4 posts in, I remember reading one of those first posts and being like “I like this guy’s explanations, I’ll have to bookmark this blog”

  78. @IndiscreetThoughts

    “If this sound somewhat like a communist manifesto that focuses on envy, one must point out a key difference. Health and wealth can reasonably can belong to all. But status is a different animal altogether. To the extent that one individual gains status someone else has to lose it.”

    Brilliant post. Unlikely to get a lot of cheers from the stands, as we’ve already seen, but you’re right on.

    Nothing works like telling people what they want to hear . . . which is that they can do anything they put their mind to! There is a core of people in the ‘sphere though, maybe about 20%, with an appreciation of the bigger picture, while everyone else talks self-help. Illimitable Men is great – note his most recent post on promiscuity and civilization.

    There are tons of reasons why you would want to be objective about aggregate phenomena, aside from some deep internal self-loathing. First of all, its a precondition to actually changing anything at all. Second, even if you think you individually are going to sail to the top, you want to know what kind of world you’re going to be living in so you can plan accordingly.

    In any case, different people want different things out of the discussion, which is fine.

  79. @Lucien
    “There are tons of reasons why you would want to be objective about aggregate phenomena, aside from some deep internal self-loathing. First of all, its a precondition to actually changing anything at all.”

    Change is hard but loving yourself for where you are and who you are trying to become is essential for the betterment of your long term self. We are all alone in a lot of ways.

    A clean well lighted place
    Ernest Hemingway

    It was very late and everyone had left the cafe except an old man who sat in the shadow the leaves of the tree made against the electric light. In the day time the street was dusty, but at night the dew settled the dust and the old man liked to sit late because he was deaf and now at night it was quiet and he felt the difference. The two waiters inside the cafe knew that the old man was a little drunk, and while he was a good client they knew that if he became too drunk he would leave without paying, so they kept watch on him.

    “Last week he tried to commit suicide,” one waiter said.

    “Why?”

    “He was in despair.”

    “What about?”

    “Nothing.”

    “How do you know it was nothing?”

    “He has plenty of money.”

    They sat together at a table that was close against the wall near the door of the cafe and looked at the terrace where the tableswere all empty except where the old man sat in the shadow of the leaves of the tree that moved slightly in the wind. A girl and a soldier went by in the street. The street light shone on the brass number on his collar. The girl wore no head covering and hurried beside him.

    “The guard will pick him up,” one waiter said.

    “What does it matter if he gets what he’s after?”

    “He had better get off the street now. The guard will get him. They went by five minutes ago.”

    The old man sitting in the shadow rapped on his saucer with his glass. The younger waiter went over to him.

    “What do you want?”

    The old man looked at him. “Another brandy,” he said.

    “You’ll be drunk,” the waiter said. The old man looked at him. The waiter went away.

    “He’ll stay all night,” he said to his colleague. “I’m sleepy now.I never get into bed before three o’clock. He should have killed himself last week.”

    The waiter took the brandy bottle and another saucer from thecounter inside the cafe and marched out to the old man’s table. Heput down the saucer and poured the glass full of brandy.

    “You should have killed yourself last week,” he said to the deafman. The old man motioned with his finger. “A little more,” hesaid. The waiter poured on into the glass so that the brandy slopped over and ran down the stem into the top saucer of the pile.”Thank you,” the old man said. The waiter took the bottle back inside the cafe. He sat down at the table with his colleague again.

    “He’s drunk now,” he said.

    “He’s drunk every night.”

    “What did he want to kill himself for?”

    “How should I know.”

    “How did he do it?”

    “He hung himself with a rope.”

    “Who cut him down?”

    “His niece.”

    “Why did they do it?”

    “Fear for his soul.”

    “How much money has he got?” “He’s got plenty.”

    “He must be eighty years old.”

    “Anyway I should say he was eighty.”

    “I wish he would go home. I never get to bed before three o’clock.What kind of hour is that to go to bed?”

    “He stays up because he likes it.”

    “He’s lonely. I’m not lonely. I have a wife waiting in bed for me.”

    “He had a wife once too.”

    “A wife would be no good to him now.”

    “You can’t tell. He might be better with a wife.”

    “His niece looks after him. You said she cut him down.”

    “I know.” “I wouldn’t want to be that old. An old man is a nasty thing.”

    “Not always. This old man is clean. He drinks without spilling.Even now, drunk. Look at him.”

    “I don’t want to look at him. I wish he would go home. He has no regard for those who must work.”

    The old man looked from his glass across the square, then over at the waiters.

    “Another brandy,” he said, pointing to his glass. The waiter who was in a hurry came over.

    “Finished,” he said, speaking with that omission of syntax stupid people employ when talking to drunken people or foreigners. “Nomore tonight. Close now.”

    “Another,” said the old man.

    “No. Finished.” The waiter wiped the edge of the table with a towel and shook his head.

    The old man stood up, slowly counted the saucers, took a leathercoin purse from his pocket and paid for the drinks, leaving half a peseta tip. The waiter watched him go down the street, a very oldman walking unsteadily but with dignity.

    “Why didn’t you let him stay and drink?” the unhurried waiter asked. They were putting up the shutters. “It is not half-past two.”

    “I want to go home to bed.”

    “What is an hour?”

    “More to me than to him.”

    “An hour is the same.”

    “You talk like an old man yourself. He can buy a bottle and drinkat home.”

    “It’s not the same.”

    “No, it is not,” agreed the waiter with a wife. He did not wish to be unjust. He was only in a hurry.

    “And you? You have no fear of going home before your usual hour?”

    “Are you trying to insult me?”

    “No, hombre, only to make a joke.”

    “No,” the waiter who was in a hurry said, rising from pulling down the metal shutters. “I have confidence. I am all confidence.”

    “You have youth, confidence, and a job,” the older waiter said.”You have everything.”

    “And what do you lack?”

    “Everything but work.”

    “You have everything I have.”

    “No. I have never had confidence and I am not young.”

    “Come on. Stop talking nonsense and lock up.”

    “I am of those who like to stay late at the cafe,” the older waitersaid.

    “With all those who do not want to go to bed. With all those who need a light for the night.”

    “I want to go home and into bed.”

    “We are of two different kinds,” the older waiter said. He was now dressed to go home. “It is not only a question of youth and confidence although those things are very beautiful. Each night I am reluctant to close up because there may be some one who needs the cafe.”

    “Hombre, there are bodegas open all night long.”

    “You do not understand. This is a clean and pleasant cafe. It is well lighted. The light is very good and also, now, there are shadows of the leaves.”

    “Good night,” said the younger waiter.

    “Good night,” the other said. Turning off the electric light he continued the conversation with himself, It was the light of course but it is necessary that the place be clean and pleasant. You do not want music. Certainly you do not want music. Nor can you stand before a bar with dignity although that is all that isprovided for these hours. What did he fear? It was not a fear ordread, It was a nothing that he knew too well. It was all anothing and a man was a nothing too. It was only that and light was all it needed and a certain cleanness and order. Some lived init and never felt it but he knew it all was nada y pues nada y naday pues nada. Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give usthis nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee. He smiled and stood before a bar with a shining steam pressure coffee machine.

    “What’s yours?” asked the barman.

    “Nada.”

    “Otro loco mas,” said the barman and turned away.

    “A little cup,” said the waiter.

    The barman poured it for him.

    “The light is very bright and pleasant but the bar is unpolished,”the waiter said.

    The barman looked at him but did not answer. It was too late at night for conversation.

    “You want another copita?” the barman asked.

    “No, thank you,” said the waiter and went out. He disliked bars and bodegas. A clean, well-lighted cafe was a very different thing. Now, without thinking further, he would go home to his room. Hewould lie in the bed and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep. After all, he said to himself, it’s probably only insomnia. Many must have it.

  80. Rollo,

    Thank for the TRP and all that you’ve done to help the men of this world. While certain “christian-esque trolls” (you all know who I mean) disagree with your approach, I find your method of delivery refreshing – calling the world as you see it. And it’s for us to prove/disprove.

    And thank you for this comment space. As @scribblerg has said a number of times, this is perhaps the only place in many men’s lives where they can come, ask questions, listen to experiences, share our thoughts, and opinions and even have those pinions shredded through open debate and discussion.

    A year ago, I accepted a temporary promotion in a different division at work. I accepted the job permanently in December. I supervise over 200 people of which 185 are women. By all measures, I’ve been extremely successful and I owe a lot of that to what I’ve read at TRP and helping me understand the dynamics in play and to the many men here that share their experiences.

    Thank you, Rollo and all that comment here, thank you as well.

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