I received the following from Mark Minter in this week’s comment thread. Regardless of what your or my opinion of Minter is, I will admit this is an area I haven’t explored before:
I have a request for a post. It is for a rework of a Rational Male post sometime back about sons of divorce that try to be “better than dad”.
I would think you might have more to say on the topic since a couple of years have passed since you posted it.
Or perhaps how a newly red pill divorced father might approach his son, especially if there has been a period of estrangement.
I have a “date” for a phone call with my son after quite a long period. You might imagine my relationship with my “old family” is sort of “interesting”, to put it euphemistically. My daughter has dropped my last name from social media accounts. My son calls himself “Younger Minter” and his assumed “middle name” is “Fucking”. Sort of a throwback to mine back in the day, but he seems quite pissed though.
I have been told these things can be quite emotional, and then a flurry of contact, but then a “backsliding” away from contact. Inevitably and probably rightfully so, he has innate loyalty to his mother. And he grew up in one of places that is so liberal it is often referred to as “The People’s Republic of …”
So the question is “How to bring him along?”
If by “bring him along” you mean convince him you’re not the asshole he’s convinced you are, that’s really subjective to your personal history and how amenable he is to listening to your side of the story. That said, there’s a world aligned against you that’s likely conditioned your son not just to hate you, but to loath his own sex by association with your past decisions and circumstances.
My intent with this weekend’s discussion isn’t to run Minter up the flagpole, but rather delve into a tough Red Pill area – reestablishing a lost or misguided connection with a son or daughter, from a post-Red Pill awareness perspective.
The post Mark is referencing was Promise Keepers. In that post I hit this situation from the opposite side:
Slay the Father
One common theme I’ve encountered amongst the more zealous beta White Knights I’ve counseled over the years has been this determination, bordering on fanaticism, with outdoing the life-performance of their asshole fathers. Before I go on further, many of them had legitimately rotten, alcoholic dads, who were abusive to them and their mothers. Others had the perception of their fathers colored for them either by their ‘strong independent®’ single mothers, or by watching their fathers resolve their own beta tendencies in a post-divorce life. Whatever the case, each of these guys had a mission – to be a better man than their father was, protect their mothers, and by extension the future mother their girlfriends and wives would become for them. His father’s personal failings would be his personal triumphs.
Being the father in this scenario and attempting to reestablish an after-the-fact, positive connection with a son is a very tall order. It’s almost easier to address the particulars of a daughter with ‘daddy issues’ who’s absent father contributed to her ‘victim status’ condition than it is to consider the upbringing and feminine conditioning a boy receives in his father’s relative absence.
The difficulty being that a son will have every negative perception of his father reinforced for him by a feminine-primary social order. Even in the rare instances when an insightful mother doesn’t resentfully color her son’s negative perceptions of his father during his formative years, there is an entire world of feminine social conventions pressing and affirming that impression into him.
From Daddy Issues:
Matrix Fathers
Have a look at postsecret this week. It’ll all be gone by Sunday so have a look while it lasts. This week’s thread is the usual fare for Father’s Day, a hearty “Fuck You Dad!” or “You’re the reason I’m so fucked up!” interspersed with a couple ‘good dad’ sentiments so as not to entirely degrade the feminized ideal of fatherhood – wouldn’t want to discourage men’s perpetual ‘living up’ to the qualifications set by the feminine imperative. There has to be a little cheese in the maze or else the rat wont perform as desired.
I always see a marked difference in attitude between mother’s day and father’s day, especially now that I’ve been one for 14 years. I was listening to a local talk radio show on the ride home Friday that was opening lines for callers to express their ‘gratitude‘ for their fathers, as they’d done the previously in May for mother’s day. Damn near every caller had the same “fuck you dad!” story about how shitty their lives were because of their father’s influence or his lack thereof. One girl had called in to bleat out her story about how her dad had left her mother 30 years ago and for the last 10 years she’d sent him a father’s day card with a big ‘FU’ on it to tell him she’d never forgive him. Another guy called in to say how horrible his dad was for leaving his mom and how he sends her a father’s day card because he thinks she fulfilled a masculine role for him that he owes some gratitude for.
Father’s Day is a slap in the face for me now – not because my wife and daughter don’t appreciate me as a father, but because it’s become a big “fuck you” Mr. Man. It’s now a reminder (as if we needed a special occasion) that masculinity, even in as positive a light as the Matrix might muster, is devalued and debased, and we ought to just take it like a man and get over it.
It’s a difficult task to unplug a man who’s a friend and open his eyes to Red Pill awareness. That guy has to be seeking answers to really be open to having his ego-investments in his conditioning challenged and realigned – you can’t really make a man Red Pill aware, he’s got to come to it in some fashion. This is a very important distinction to make when the man you’re attempting to unplug is your own son.
A father in this predicament has the double jeopardy of clearing his name as a father and as a representative of masculinity – the representation of all the negative aspects the Feminine Imperative has ever embedded into him about the taint of his own masculinity. As I mentioned in Promise Keepers, some of the most ardent anti-conventional-masculinity crusaders I’ve ever encountered all had the common denominator of a ‘bad dad’. There are no ‘deadbeat mothers’.
Minter’s not the first father to ask me for advice about this. One of the more painful aspects of waking up and accepting Red Pill truths is coming to terms with the consequences of basing your past decisions on a Blue Pill paradigm. I can empathize with younger unplugged Betas getting angry with themselves for having wasted part of their lives with the effort of chasing after the carrot of Blue Pill goals, but it’s an entirely different anger older men feel after coming to realize that their lives and the lives of their children (the only reason to get married, remember?) are the results of their Blue Pill decision making.
Fortunately I had my Red Pill awakening prior to my daughter being born and had the foresight to live by example. However I know enough men in similar straights as Minter to see what an impossible task it is to untangle the past Blue Pill version of themselves with the Red Pill aware men they’ve become. I do not envy them.
I think the questions for the weekend are obvious:
I understand that Mark is seeking reconciliation here, and it may not even be warranted, but what would advise you men in a similar situation?
Attempting to unplug a friend, even one in a trauma that makes him ready to hear Red Pill truths, is a difficult task, but when that man is your own son how do you go about it?
Bear in mind I do understand that raising your son by a Red Pill example would be ideal. I’ve written about it before. What I’m asking is how to approach a young man already steeped in a Blue Pill feminized conditioning for the better part of his life and make him Red Pill aware? That kid may be a son who’s made it his life’s mission to be a “better man” than you based on the definition of a feminine social doctrine that’s taught him to hate you, his own sex, or at the very least would prefer he remain confused about masculinity until after he’s committed himself to useful Beta provisioning when a woman needs it most from him.
I’ll give my own response in the comments.
Related:
Dreams of the Future Past
Rollo,
What is your policy on commenters who pretend to be someone else?
Gosh, hardly know what to say here. I read so much anger and resentment at fathers, I’m almost afraid to report I had a solid relationship with mine. And with my mother as well. H That must be so anomalous and on the far side of the Bell curve that I stand as some sort of freak. But maybe I can contribute one aspect of what I think my fahter did right by me and my brothers (of course my mother was the typical mid-Fifties June Cleaver wife,SAH-she didn’t even have a drivers’ license and we lived in the country,… Read more »
Are you seeking “reconciliation” or are you seeking approval? If it’s reconciliation you want, then exactly what is being reconciled? Any reconcilliation can only occur if ALL persons involved in the estrangement or rift admit the truth and each forgive and forget. Usually no party to an estrangement or bitter rift is without fault. It takes 2 (or more) to fight. And probably the most fault is with those persons promoting the FI. You may be willing to concede your past mistakes, etc. but I highly double the other parties will. Their self images, ego investments and entire approach to… Read more »
Oh and a couple of ther points that failed to escape my brain hereinabove: Of that time spent read to to your kids. Nothing expands their minds and builds up rapport like sharing the adventures of reading. Establish some common ground easily this way. Next respect their growth, but always act a firm, but not dictatiorial, Parent with a capital “P”. That means frequent use of the word “no”, but such use should be consistent and as fair as possible, with an explanation, as the kids get older, it shows respect. Sports—do them! I’m no athlete, but I got them,… Read more »
“You have this attitude, you’ll never have any kind of relationship with your kid.”
This is not true. No matter what, every child and parent has some kind of relationship, even those who haven’t met. You will have some kind of relationship with your kid no matter what. What matters is the KIND of relationship that exists and how that relationship affects the parties in it.
Improve yourself, be honest, be in control of your life to the best of your ability and all your relationships will improve.
@Glenn “You don’t believe that children you raised and provided for owe you at least basic respect and civility? …. Just see what happens if you get sick or lose your job and have financial difficulties.” I am talking in simple terms of my actions being outcome independent and proceeding from the strength (even if it is economic), courage, mastery and honor of being a masculine father in a pitifully feminine society. If I failed to have these qualities in my tribe 10,000 years ago I might die and be nexted. If I fail in these masculine traits today, I… Read more »
@ cholo – Great comment, thanks. And I for one am glad to hear that you had a good relationship with your Dad – I’m jealous. But there is one subtle distinction I’d like to make regarding your comment about spending time with your children. Of course, at the most basic level you are correct. Time spent with your children is crucial, particularly when they are little, under say 9-10 years old. But I think some people have twisted that idea around, and I think it’s really a female informed view of how fathers should behave. Let me give an… Read more »
@ siffrellc – Nice, good for you. But just so we are clear, you agree with me. In fact, your children do owe you something in your eyes. Me, I don’t even ask for gratitude, I just don’t want to be lashed out at and denigrated and treated poorly. That’s not a very high bar. So we are not in disagreement. The rest of what you said was quite contradictory. I’m just talking about civility. Listen, I can even understand adult children and parents not being super close. Sometimes parents and adult children don’t like each other that much –… Read more »
@Not Born “This is not true. No matter what, every child and parent has some kind of relationship, even those who haven’t met. You will have some kind of relationship with your kid no matter what. What matters is the KIND of relationship that exists and how that relationship affects the parties in it. Improve yourself, be honest, be in control of your life to the best of your ability and all your relationships will improve.” This is completely wrong. I have no relationship with my father, none. I’ve said maybe a sentence to him in the past 2 years.… Read more »
I don’t think that I feel anger about most of the shit I went through anymore. I’ve started to view my parents exactly like I view everyone else: most people don’t hurt you out of malice, they just do it as a side effect of selfishly getting what they want. Hurting you is only incidental to fulfilling their own selfish motives. Doesn’t mean I excuse people in general or my parents for such behavior (which is why I still make no effort to talk with my father), it just informs me why I shouldn’t waste time being angry with them.… Read more »
Glenn, you are very perceptive. My middle name is Contradictory. It’s either a strength or weakness depending on the topic. I’m Meyer’s-Briggs type INTJ. Similar to the fictional Walter White in Breaking bad and how he viewed performing for his family. “A paradox to most observers, INTJs are able to live by glaring contradictions that nonetheless make perfect sense – at least from a purely rational perspective. For example, INTJs are simultaneously the most starry-eyed idealists and the bitterest of cynics, a seemingly impossible conflict. But this is because INTJ types tend to believe that with effort, intelligence and consideration,… Read more »
@zdr01dz You have to understand that this is an “unapologetically male space” – I usually never post here.. must be the lack of sleep from the recent baby. I read some, but I usually don’t read all the comments or even ever post a comment. My husband reads even less becasue of how little time he has. Is it depressing? yes. But it’s a male space where men can come and really hash out these things and feel all their feelings that they generally can’t show in society (even sometimes to their family – maybe especially their family). The truth… Read more »
Bravo to the commentorship of therationalmale.com! I teared up too many times to count. Let the walls finally come down. To the silent readership, let this be known—we are ALL human beings and we ALL must navigate the trials and tribulations of life. Everything else that ever crosses your path in the wider sea of popular media (blogs, TV, news, “seminars”, manosphere, game sites, government reports, public corporation annual reports, S&P financial analyses, etc, etc) is one giant exercise in OTHER humans trying to convince you that they are large and that you are small (ie, “game”). It is ALL… Read more »
Inspiration
http://www.builtlean.com/2014/03/03/70-year-old-man-muscle/
@ Fromm “You have a responsibility as a parent, male, female, alien, whatever. You have a responsibility to raise a kid.” +1 to that. I didn’t ask to be born into this world. I didn’t ask for my parents to have me. I always thought it was extremely selfish when people say to their kids, “We wanted you.” My parents gave me that line a lot. Wanted me? How can you want someone that doesn’t exist yet? What you wanted was an idea. It was like buying a new fucking car or some other material object. I got a double… Read more »
@Softek – “So if I have to endure this then I would say the only purpose I’d see in it would be to help other people, whether that would be in writing or whatever.”
That’s noble & beautiful.
“My shit is handled and if my daughter wants me back in her life she can apologize and treat me well or go fuck herself. I’m good either way because I know I did the right thing, and ultimately that’s all a man has in this world.” Glenn, I am praying for you, brother, personally. I believe that I’ve read previous comments of yours to the effect that you don’t believe in that (totally fine with me), but I do (simpleton that I am). I am praying for your pain to be reconciled inside of you, for what’s that’s worth.… Read more »
@ Steve – While I appreciate the sentiment, don’t pray for me. I’m good with my daughter. You see, I deal with reality and here’s the reality of it. My daughter is an ungrateful, spoiled, nasty cunt towards me. I react accordingly. She’s an adult (now 26) and made these choices as an adult. I saw a psychologist who specializes in parental alienation and deals with many non-custodial Dad’s like me. Men who have been dedicated fathers and met all their responsibilities (unlike the loathesome Minter), who find themselves with an adult child who treats them like shit. Like most… Read more »
@ Minter – Your crime was getting laid off in the ’08 crash? Really? You are going to lie to us even here? Mark, newsflash – men don’t lose their visitation rights due to failure to pay child support. You could have seen and spent time with your kids no matter what the support situation. So first off, stop lying to us and perhaps yourself. If you stopped seeing your children and attempting to be some kind of father, that is all on you. As for not getting work, that’s also your choice. At a certain point after ’08, I… Read more »
You are correct in that it is extremely difficult to impart red-pill knowledge to a son post-divorce, particularly if he lives in a different state / city. I am 41 now, and began unplugging from an extreme blue pill life at the age of 33. The process took 4 long and painful years. It did not help that my ex has Histrionic personality disorder. Let me tell you, there is no better form of self-flagellation than a hardcore beta personality latching to an axis II cluster B PD girl at an early age. Long story short, I had 3 children,… Read more »
Glenn, Got “counselor” in my job title and have worked with the best and worst in people for nearly 40 years. After reading your posts, I see a couple of things from you that could be causing some issues: It seems you want your daughter to now respond to you as “daddy, the parent” with all the childhood aspects of that term, including a demand for respect, absolute authority and control, and dare I say, fear of adverse consequences? Second, you seem to demand things , rather than let them flow from an adult relationship. I also detect a rather… Read more »
@ GWADFT Thanks. Although I see it as a matter of necessity more than any kind of nobility on my part — having almost killed myself a number of times, obviously I never succeeded, and my heaviest burden and what I’ve been racking my brain over for the longest time is how to focus my thoughts into a book that could help people. There’s so much, I just don’t know how to focus it enough so it would be clear and coherent instead of a jumbled mess. A lot of times I imagine myself on my death bed and asking… Read more »
@ Softie – Yo, focus on yourself and your life before writing that book. It will have a much happier ending. While I’m overly analytical myself, I figured out that the RP is an inside job, first and foremost. It starts with developing a profound and honest relationship with reality. And reality is where our lives occur, not in books or on websites. I’ve written two books and have an editing credit on a third, so I know what it’s like to “have to write a book” – go for it. But first things first. I want to see you… Read more »
Whenever I talk to someone about relationship/family issues who is beta, I ask a probing question. The conversations have gone something like the following: Me: “Hey, have you seen the movie The Matrix? Beta: “Yeah, I’ve seen it.” (if he hasn’t seen it, I ask him to watch it and tell me if he’d take the blue pill or the red pill.) Me: “Well, would you take the red pill like Neo or take the blue pill like Cypher and continue enjoying the fake steak.” Beta: “I’d take the red pill. Me: “Well, there’s a red pill for relationships too,… Read more »
@ Glenn This is what my gut’s been telling me too. It’s been a rocky road lately but I’m coming back, and developing more skills. I’m getting very good; I just have to get myself out there and get the exposure. The trade I’m in is pretty esoteric, and on top of that, I’ve built my own tools that are trade secrets and put me at a tremendous advantage over everyone else. I just haven’t put myself out there yet. I have business cards and I’ve handed them out to everyone I’ve done work for though, and continue to do… Read more »
@ softie – I missed the email, sorry, have had a hectic week. Will go find and reach out. Great post. Particularly the denial piece. You might recall I’ve mentioned “keeping two sets of books” here, and of course that’s how one maintains denial. Sexual frustration and tension will creep up on a guy – hell, it may explain the entire MGTOW movement…
@Steve: THANK YOU for sharing (sharing is what brings down the walls)…I am going to begin praying WAY more. Try Dalrock bro, but even there this is thin gruel. You post like a Care Bear. Sharing is caring? Like double hellfire it is. Plus Glenn is not sharing willingly. We dragged this story out of him over many posts. @Glenn: I have seen this alienation of affection thing as a legal investigator putting together high end divorce cases a bunch of times and it is most definitely a real thing. The courts refuse to prevent it and the custodial parent… Read more »
Wow, this post hurts. This is basically me. Discovering red pill *after* getting divorced (with 2 kids who are my world) is hell. I need to write Rollo a longer message when I get a few minutes. Luckily for me, my two very young kids have me in their life and are doing great and adore me, for now (but have not gotten to the teen years yet). It’s a fight every day to be in my kids’ lives and to support their mother and protect them from their mother’s ignorance, to the total detriment of my having any chance… Read more »
That’s an angle I hadn’t considered – women’s constant provisioning requirement is a form of indirect sexual containment of a previously parentally invested mate.
Interesting.
@Rollo, of course it is. I could write my own book. It’s been six years since my separation (she moved out) and I have paid about $300,000 in after-tax dollars as “child support” (not tax deductible), which is really “shadow alimony.” Google it. A well known problem in the divorce law field. In my state and all states today, the divorce laws are indeed “gender neutral,” both in terms of “custody” and “visitation” and child support/alimony. The real-world problem–and I’ve commented on this at length over at Heartiste–is when you have a truly caring father and a mother with no… Read more »
tldr version: despite what the left wants to say, women and men are not equal, of course, and if your ex wife is not a lawyer or other high earner yourself, then your statement applies. total disaster of an economic situation. a good father will do whatever it takes for his kids who he loves. they came out of my balls, did not ask to be born, and I will do whatever it takes to protect them, even if it means paying my ex 3 times the child support guidelines as “shadow alimony” that is seen by the IRS as… Read more »
@anon
say you continue the expenditure of time and money, including greatly assisting in paying for college, and then after all that the new college grad goes “I don’t owe you anything”. What would you guess would be your reaction?
There comes a time when children need to grow up. To face that parents are just human. When my Dad apologized and changed (as much as he could) I forgave him. He did he best he could with the handicaps he was given. It took me until age 40 to get that. It took him until I was 50 to make amends as best as he could. Now that he is gone I’m glad. There was a hole in my soul until we reconciled. The fm still has several from her parents never getting it.
@redlight yeah I would be beyond devastated. I read the comment above from someone in that situation who reminded me of me (was it you?) — the daughters loved him when they were still young. That’s where I am NOW and I cannot imagine a situation where my daughters don’t love and appreciate me. If that happens to me through no fault of my own, because of my wife poisoning them or whatever… there is no telling what I would do. I’m devastated and overwhelmed even now, as my former fiance who loved me and pities me could tell you.… Read more »
Sorry for so many comments but let me add something I know will be new to most of you. Contrary to so many and to the stereotype, my ex wife not only has not had a string of new fuck buddies, she has not had even ONE date with a new man in the six years since we separated. This is not my wishful thinking; it’s the absolute truth. Now, she was always kind of a cold fish, not that into sex (very rare for a woman), and she has me giving her $5,000 a month (she does not pay… Read more »
I’ve seen friends stick out the bad marriage until the kids grow up; I’ve seen other friends get divorced while the kids were still pre-teen. I think that the kids whose father is able to stick around in spite of all the crap the wife throws at him tend to do better than the kids whose father leaves (whether voluntary or pushed out). So for the fathers who grit their teeth and stay in for the kids, that is the potential payoff. No guarantee of course, YMMV wildly.
Soften: “Sexual deprivation is like a beast lurking in the shadows. You can have very good days and feel like you’re on cloud nine. But in a day or a week or whenever, it sneaks up on you and grabs you. It doesn’t mean you didn’t genuinely have fun, or that you can’t enjoy yourself without having sex — but if it isn’t straightened out, and you act like it doesn’t exist….things can get ugly very quick, and a lot of times it’s like a switch snapping on. One second you’re fine and the next you’re overwhelmed, and you didn’t… Read more »
@forgetthesky:
http://therationalmale.com/2013/06/26/you-need-sex/
Anon: “Married her at 28 before I had even approached my peak, had been with 10 girls the prior 2 years even before knowing anything about red pill, was just getting warmed up, married her because I felt sorry for her and she was sweet….. bam. ” This is a bit terrifying to me. I started dating the (aforementioned) girl at 27 or so, and I think part of what drove me to her is me feeling bad for her and wanting to fix things, and the fact that she is very sweet and kind in demeanor. I didn’t have… Read more »
@foregetthesky, it should be terrifying. I don’t want to give too many details, but let’s just say she is from a very, very poor family background. But she was very very sweet when we met. I was “in love” with her, or I thought that I did not want to lose her and that she would make a good wife and mother. Also, she never pressured me to marry her. It was totally my idea. I was 100% blue pill beta at the time, my dad is as beta/blue pill as they come and never gave me *any* advice about… Read more »
@ forgethesky I think part of the problem is the FEMINIZED “esoteric significance” of sex that Blue Pill guys adhere to. Not the biological significance. Not a genuine curiosity in what the actual biological relevance of it is (like my curiosity about it) — but a belief that there are “soul mates” and that sex is a vaguely defined “mystical” experience that’s as essential as food and water, etc. The FI message is that FEMINIZED sex is essential. The stuff they sell Blue Pill guys that they actually don’t want to fuck. A lot of ‘sexual frustration’ can be a… Read more »
when that man is your own son how do you go about it? You have to lead by example – trying to tell someone something is an exercise in futility, they have to see it with their own eyes to start to wake up. I have a friend that after his marriage exploded, I invited him to join us for a weekend at one of our performances – figured he could do little stuff, but partake of the women afterwards to start to see how life and women really are. Since then he’s dusted off his guitar and started to… Read more »
Thanks Rollo. I read it but evidently needed to again. I went to a very strict Christian school and learned to demonize my sexuality except as a platonic ideal. Good thing my parents were rather more balanced or I might still be stuck there. Anon, thank you for your reply. I didn’t mean to make you hunt for my post, just didn’t want to tell the same mostly unremarkable story over and over. Yeah, it’s a past relationship, a few months ago. It was weird to me for a long time that two people could care a lot for each… Read more »
@Softek, That was a quite apropos comment for me, actually. I’ve been on both sides of what you’re talking about – having options and feeling a pathological pull to ‘the one’ – just in a recent span, so I know what both feel like. Just last week I was all about building myself into the sort of person I’d like to be. I bought a car, negotiated successfully to buy a house, developed a plan for the future. Might not sound like much for the men here who have built multiple businesses, but it’s actually a big step for me… Read more »
@Softek – it sounds like so many ideas – very good, writing anything, even small pieces like you’ve done somewhat here (I believe) would be helpful towards your eventual goal. You’re so young, you have so much time to figure it all out and work out the kinks…. Some sage advice from Hemingway (a true man’s man): “Do not worry. You have always written before, and you will write now.” “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter, and bleed.” “There is no use writing anything that has been written before unless you can… Read more »
This thread has been helpful. I am a father. I have young sons. My problem, now, is not the boys. My problem is the inverse to the one discussed in this thread. How does one go about showing his own father the red pill? He suffers from the blue pill, but has kept the same wife for 40+ years. He comes from a time when you could be beta and still keep the house. I don’t even know if it is worth it, to show him. He is a fretful rabbit all day long, but the trama of ripping out… Read more »
I wanted to thank everyone that shared. Some of these stories really moved me and I wanted to thank you. I tried to put some replies together regarding my own Father, but I found it too difficult. Simply put, I met him once when I was 15 (29 now) and I came to the realization that he did not want to have anything to do with me. We could spend a lot of time analyzing why, but that’s not what matters. What matters is that I spent my life seeking to be loved. I think many men do. Blue Pill… Read more »
dorsey, leave your father alone at this point. He’s close to 70 and still married to your mom? why would you tell him about red pill now? he might even be happy.
I on the other hand have been telling my uber-beta dad about red pill and letting him know that I think it sucks that he never taught me a damned thing about women. Any alpha in me has been self taught. My dad didn’t have the internet and is married to his high school sweetheart (my mom), but how could he not learn some things just from living in this world? He left the house and went to work every day, saw women in the office. He never once gave me one bit of advice when he saw me struggling… Read more »
@ anon I had hot “study buddies” My first date with my college gf was a study date. I had met her through a friend and his gf–my eventual gf was his gf’s sister. I wasn’t expecting anything since she had previously told me that she was madly in love with her bf back home and wanted to marry him but her parents didn’t approve of him because he was 10 years older. So when we were studying in lounge chairs in the library facing each other about fifteen feet apart, the girl kept looking over her textbook at me… Read more »
Red Pill song of the week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH3ruuml-R4
@theasdgamer:
wish I had that grandmotherly advice, yeesh. Coulda used some breaking out of my stick-up-the-ass purity crap.
I have an alpha father though, so that’s helped in the long run. Huh, when I think of it my younger brother may have too – he’s a natural, but it’s hard to learn from a younger brother until you get to an age where the age difference isn’t significant.
Before that, you tend to look up to the older brother. My older brother is gay. Maybe that explains a lot, actually.
@Glenn, Look man, still praying for you. I pray for me, too, so please don’t take it as anything too particular. Similar situation, different details. To be clear, NOT praying for what’s right, but merely for the lifting of pain… that’s the extent of the prayers… the lifting of pain. A better man would pray for more, but I’ve been down that path, too many times to count, so my prayers only extend so far, realistically… to relief of pain. “My ego and identity was far too invested in it all.” I hear that. That’s a whole other *BLOG* that… Read more »
@bluepillprofessor ie Care Bear, Thank you for your “caring.” “Try Dalrock bro, but even there this is thin gruel. You post like a Care Bear.” Assuredly so, and you? “Sharing is caring? Like double hellfire it is. Plus Glenn is not sharing willingly.” That’s true. Perhaps he’s hurting. I have hurt my lower back in my life, to the point that I couldn’t even get off of the couch… and you? “We dragged this story out of him over many posts.” That’s true. But he’s here, working through his shit. And you? Look, man, I’m sure that you are perfect,… Read more »
From my own personal experience (my parents being divorced) I’d say that your chances to reconcile with your son depend on how deep his liberal/blue pill conditioning is (I’m also assuming that the blame was unjustly put on your shoulders and you weren’t beating the living shit out of them). It may be outright impossible until he finds the red pill truth on his own (which may require him to get burned by women one way or another). Maybe you could somehow get him to read Rollo’s books and hope he will connect the dots by himself but again that… Read more »
My work – if there be any – in the world of “red pill” seems to be reaching other fathers and I have a goodly bit of experience on this so I’d like to add a few notes to this one by Rollo. First – in all things in life – everything – from mundane workaday to “red pill”, I notice that the most important thing is this: Show up. Be physically present. A problem with “red pill” is at day end even if it comes with insights impossible otherwise, it still is 4 steps of 5 to an ideology… Read more »
@ Bluedog – Showing up and being there is key. But what do you do when your ex moves an hour’s drive away? Not far enough to go to court over but too far to just do all those daily things that you can do when you live in the same town. This is what my ex did to me, and I didn’t even realize it. Moving to her town would have resulted in a 2.5 hour commute each way to work for me and all my work was in NYC so there was no moving to that town. The… Read more »
” (the only reason to get married, remember?) ”
What is this in reference to? I’ve said this to my wife before, that was the only reason I got married. To have kids. She didn’t appreciate it, but it is still the only motivation on balance.
https://www.instagram.com/p/aoSrKhD0Yu/?taken-by=tiffanytrump