In last week’s comments Not Born This Morning dropped this comment in the last thread:
It has been said and it seems fairly well established as a presumed reality that “Women are the gate keepers to sex and men are the gate keepers to commitment”. This model of gender specific “gatekeeping” seems to be the most widely accepted model in the red pill community and the general culture accepts it readily. This model seems rational enough, it significantly forms our frame of understanding about gender dynamics upon which we base our interpretations of behavior & intents, and our decisions to act. But is it the best model to explain what is really going on? Could this model be inferior in that it fails to account for an underlying more fundamental motivator? Is there a more accurate explanation for women’s intents and behaviors? Could this model be potentially deceptive?
The sex side of this model is simple and easy to understand. It is very clear and specific to the fundamental biologic. It is inarguable, not negotiable. The primary drive motivating the sexual aspect is not political or social. It is biological. This is not the case with the commitment side. The commitment side is primary to the political and social realm. “Commitments” are always components of contracts written or otherwise.
To comprehend what I’m about to explain, we must first agree on the primary definition of commitment. As I understand it, a commitment is a pledge to do something, a proclamation to perform certain action (or inaction) within a specific context for the benefit of another usually in exchange for some consideration. In the sexual context women seek “commitment” from a man primarily for provisioning and sexual exclusivity. The man “commits” to the woman that he will abandon his freedom and not enter into sexual relations with other women. He pledges himself financially and sexually to her exclusively. Realistically, this form of “commitment” includes the man abandoning his options. If he becomes sexually involved with another woman, it is widely considered that he has “broken his commitment” and he is dishonored by her and society for “breaking the commitment”. But, has he really broken any commitment other than a self denigrating pledge to forgo his freedom and abandon his options? Since obviously the male imperative is polygamy and spreading his seed, then isn’t the imposition to “commit” in the first place really a dishonor of his sexuality and a dishonor to him? If so, isn’t “commitment” in this context nothing more than a form of enslavement?
So by saying men are the “gate keepers of commitment” aren’t we really saying that men are the “gatekeepers of their own enslavement”?
I’ve read this line of thought from various MGTOW hardliners in various iterations and I’ve even written a post on the concept of commitment and what it does or doesn’t mean to a man. The idea is to equate committing to a woman with some irrational agreement to self-induced slavery. However, the problem most men have with commitment is that the old set of books has a social mandate for men to keep their word or honor an agreement. It’s what men do. Say what you mean and stick to it, but as with most every uniquely male custom, Honor among men has been one more useful distortion of the Feminine Imperative.
As I mentioned in the Paradox of Commitment, men don’t have nearly the fear of commitment our feminized social order would have us believe. Men aren’t “commit-o-phones” when it comes to military service or dedicating themselves to a business. These are the areas the women’s magazines conveniently overlook when it comes to comparing men’s commitment with committing to women in monogamy. I’m bringing this up because it’s important to see how men commit to things other than fidelity to a single woman.
If we’re going to equate monogamous fidelity to a woman with slavery we also need to see how other commitments can be viewed as being, or not being, slavery. Is the commitment of military service slavery? Particularly if you know have a pretty good idea of what to expect from that commitment? Are you volunteering for slavery if you start a business and become financially beholden to it?
From the Paradox of Commitment:
You can even take marriage out of the equation; if I’m in a committed LTR with a GF and over the course of that relationship I realize that she’s not what I’m looking for (for any number of reasons, not just sex), even though she’s 100% faithfully committed to me and the LTR, should I then break that commitment? If I do, am I then being unethical for having broken that commitment irrespective of how I break it? Should the commitment to my own personal well being and future happiness be compromised by another commitment?
What’s my obligation; neglect myself in favor of a bad commitment or to the principle of commitment itself?
It’s my take that commitment ‘should’ be a function of genuine desire. Ideally, commitment should be to something one is so passionate about that the limiting of one’s own future opportunities that come from that commitment is an equitable, and mutually appreciated trade. This is, unfortunately, rarely the case for most people in any form of commitment because people, circumstance, opportunity and conditions are always in flux. A commitment that had been seen as equitable sacrifice at one time can become debilitating 5 years after it depending upon circumstance.
Under the old social contract, the idea that a man would compromise his sexual strategy to fulfill a woman’s (Hypergamy in the long term) had a presumed exchange – sexual access, parental investment, companionship, a good, supportive feminine role example for the kids, etc. – that made the commitment of marriage at least somewhat appealing, if not entirely equitable. I supposed a case could still be made that even under the old order of conventional gender roles and expectations men were still committing themselves to a downside bargain. But in our new, feminine-primary social order, with our broader communication, it’s certainly signing up for slavery of a sort in comparison to the options available being single.
A lot of guys think that by my advising men to spin plates and remain as non-exclusive as possible that its sole purpose is to free them up to indiscriminately bang as many women as possible. While sexual variety maybe an upside to non-exclusivity, there are many more freedoms and options that a non-exclusive man can invest himself in where committed men cannot, or wouldn’t even think to.
So yes, from a male sexual strategy perspective, and considering the terms of that commitment and consequences of breaking it are all glaringly apparent, signing up for that commitment might be assigning yourself to a kind of slavery. Under our present social conditions, staying single might be as good as it gets for men.
However, that said, there is still an undeniable, idealistic, hope that men can make the best of a marriage. Most men (see the 80% Beta men) still remarry in far greater margins than women, even after horrific divorces. We can attribute that to the sustainability of men’s sexual market value lasting longer than women’s, but the desire to want for a lasting monogamy is what I’m getting at. Even in light of the fact that women are hardwired for Hypergamy, and in light of women’s inability to appreciate the sacrifices men must make to facilitate their realities, men still, sooner or later, have a desire to lock down or otherwise wife-up a woman he idealizes. I have read the testimonies of men who will go to any length to stay in a marriage if even the outside hope of it improving exists.
I think this desire might be both a conditional and innate drive in men.
In Mrs. Hyde I quoted a study by Dr. Martie Haselton from Why is muscularity sexy? :
According to strategic pluralism theory (Gangestad & Simpson, 2000), men have evolved to pursue reproductive strategies that are contingent on their value on the mating market. More attractive men accrue reproductive benefits from spending more time seeking multiple mating partners and relatively less time investing in offspring. In contrast, the reproductive effort of less attractive men, who do not have the same mating opportunities, is better allocated to investing heavily in their mates and offspring and spending relatively less time seeking additional mates.
It’s entirely possible that a man’s sexual strategy is the simple result of his adapting to his circumstance.
Under the old social order, prior to the upheaval of the sexual revolution and feminine social primacy, investing heavily in one’s mate made good sense if the guy wanted to procreate. As men, I think we still want to apply more value to our commitment in this respect. I think it gets back to the fallacy of relational equity, but because most Blue Pill men believe that there is value in their committing to a woman, and they falsely think that women have the capacity to appreciate it, we tend to build more into it as some kind of mutually understood relationship leverage.
Gatekeepers
Back before Roosh began making his necessities into virtues, he had a pretty good insight about women being “gatekeepers” of both sex and commitment:
A popular manosphere saying is that women are gatekeepers to sex and men are gatekeepers to commitment. I wish this was an absolute truth, but it’s not. As a collective, women are often gatekeepers to both sex and commitment. Most men reading right now can surely attest to their failed attempts to secure commitment from women they slept with, and if you poll the entire population of men, you may find that they are the initiators of monogamous relationships more often than women. It only makes sense for this to be true: it is way more damaging for a man to have his woman sleep with another man and get cuckolded than the other way around. The 0.5% of the population who are skilled players and have more say with commitment don’t put a dent into this common reality. As a sex, men have very little say in determining the relationship dynamic.
[…]It would be a nice fantasy for us men to believe that we have a say in relationships and sex. It’d be nice to think that our “alpha” behavior and our game determines how a relationship can proceed, but often it doesn’t. We’re just giving the girl what she has already decided on. Do you really think you’re selling televisions to customers who came into the store with the intent to buy bicycles? The girl who falls in love with us wanted to fall in love with us, the girl who had fun with us wanted to just have fun with us, and so on. And even when a girl wants a bicycle, she still wants a certain kind of bicycle. This is why game is a numbers game, because girls are incredibly picky even when they are sexually available. The horniest girl in the club who decided on having sex will still have her pick of the litter and opt to get the best that she can.
From the perspective of men using Game to secure some kind of commitment with a woman, I’d agree, it is a numbers game. But, in general, most men aren’t learning PUA/Game to settle into an LTR and most Red Pill aware men (should) understand the nature of women well enough to leverage Game if (ever) they do look for commitment.
Roosh was correct about men not really being gatekeepers of commitment though. I think there’s a definite want on the part of guys to believe that they have some sort of leverage in the ultimate scheme of things. The Feminine Imperative constantly conditions men to think that their commitment to a woman is something insanely valuable to women. Thus, we see shaming tactics designed to call men out for avoiding commitment irrespective of men’s reasons for wanting to take precautions. This has the effect of conditioning men to think that they are the gatekeepers of something valuable.
In a sense, commitment is something valuable to a woman, however, in the age of Open Hypergamy and Strong Independent Women®, the writing is on the wall for men with regard to the convenient need for that commitment at the end-game phase of a woman’s sexual market value. So yes, a man’s commitment to monogamy with a woman has inherent value, but men are hardly the gatekeepers of it when it is a woman who does the deciding as to whether any one guy’s commitment makes any difference to her.
So, we come to a question of comparative equity with regard to men “signing up for slavery” and how inherently valuable his commitment (as convenient as it’s needed) really is to a woman. I have no doubt there are several women reading this right now who are in “relationship limbo” with a guy they desperately want to commit to them in some official capacity. And no doubt they’ll drop a story in the comments personalizing it to be typical of men, but I would argue Roosh’s point that men are the initiators of monogamous relationships far more often than women. Ironically, commitment only has value to a woman when it’s denied to her by a man who’s SMV outclasses her own.
For obvious reasons, highly desirable women, women at the peak of their sexual market valuation, are always the least concerned with men’s capacity to commit. They largely have the luxury to be selective, but furthermore the time at which women are at their highest SMV is usually the point at which men are still building upon their own. Eventually, commitment only has an appreciable value to a woman when she is most in need of it; when her SMV is in decline.
I should also point out that men, the majority being Blue Pill Betas, are the most necessitous of a woman’s commitment when she is at her highest, his is an unproven commodity, and he appreciates the value of a woman’s commitment. Thus, most men look for a stable monogamy in their early to mid 20s, while more mature men who’ve had time to build their SMV into their mid to late thirties tend to be less concerned with monogamy. This is why we hear the constant drone of women bemoaning that highly valuable, supposedly peer-equitable men’s unwillingness to commit and settle down with women aging out of the sexual marketplace. Women are far less concerned with the commitment-readiness of young, unproven men who themselves would commit to even a women in the mid-range of her SMV.
At the end here, I think it’s time Red Pill men disabuse themselves of the idea that they are the ‘gatekeepers’ of commitment, and rather employ their internalized Red Pill awareness and Game to be the ‘key masters’ of women. While I have no doubt that commitment can be a carrot on the stick for some women, the problem really lies in how that commitment is in anyway valuable and balance that knowledge with the fact that commitment, once given, becomes valueless and taken for granted when it’s established. The fact that you’d commit to a woman isn’t something that carries a relationship, no matter how badly she wanted it from you before.
There really is no quid pro quo when it comes to commitment or value in believing you’re a gatekeeper of it.
Law 20
Do Not Commit to Anyone
It is the fool who always rushes to take sides. Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself. By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against one another, making them pursue you.
Yet I am not sure that things remain the same anymore. A large number of women are approaching men for sex, and I mean just sex, and nothing more. Sex is a compelling biological need for men. But once you remove the social deterrents against women, a very different picture emerges.
@Fred: “confronting and controlling cisheterosexist patriarchy.”
Yeah, that’s what I said.
Sentient “Well the equalist gloating may elevate a few notches come January… job well done an all…”
And I don’t think it really matters who wins. They will both move in the same direction, but for different reasons. Hillary will act because strong independent women need of protection. Donald will act because men are not manning up.
@hank Alright, I’ve got a bit of time today. Let’s see if I can give ya some feedback here. (I dropped your comment into Word to work on and it was 3100 words lol, that’s over 12 pages in a novel. This is some serious content you’re pushing out) Eventually opened the asian. I think it was over the pokemon — my usual opener “You catching pokemon or swiping on tinder.” got into it. don’t remember much of this convo other than that the girl was very engaged and sexual pretty soon in. I do remember getting somehow on pokemon… Read more »
cheupez “Yet I am not sure that things remain the same anymore. A large number of women are approaching men for sex, and I mean just sex, and nothing more. Sex is a compelling biological need for men. But once you remove the social deterrents against women, a very different picture emerges.”
Feel free to elaborate. I’m curious to know if you are seeing what I’m seeing.
“Sticks and stones may break your bones but names not so much… AND she will be glowing inside when she relays these things to her GF’s… The routine is the same over and over Restriction meets outburst meets Resolve meets more outburst meets more resolve meets submission. Same with 2 YO’s for those without children. The catch is, are YOU high enough value to make it matter. All these things keep coming back to Why Ohh Yew…” @Sentient I don’t get this. Like what is the mindset? Why are you not putting up with the orbiters? I’m not saying it’s… Read more »
@ Sun Wukong…. my man!!! ” Just because a man grasps that women are how they are doesn’t mean he doesn’t get frustrated enough to rant and rave. Months/years without sex are… debilitating to reason. I speak from experience here. Shit sucks.” Of course you are 100% correct. When I read a few dozen comments that kinda point to women being some kind of all powerful entity though, I can’t help but feel compelled to speak up and remind guys of who they are. I can’t help it. I don’t see females in that same light at all, and the… Read more »
@radium
The girls fuck a guy now, fuck another tomorrow, and yet another the day after. Sometimes she does not even know your name before she is getting down. She just wants fun. At times girls appear to have a bigger appetite for sex than many of the men. To me the idea that we would consider these women gate keepers for sex…a bit far fetched if you ask me.
@ Andy Hey bro. Hope everything is going well for you. ” I don’t get this. Like what is the mindset? Why are you not putting up with the orbiters? I’m not saying it’s wrong, I just don’t get it. How would you re-frame it from something other than insecurity? I feel like it would just drive that behavior underground as opposed to eliminating it.” I’ma take a stab at this one till Sentient comes back. Orbiters. Lol. When I was dating both wives, they had orbiters. This was before social media and what not, so these guys had to… Read more »
“When I get a flat tire . . .”
. . . you can blame Mr. John Boyd Dunlop.
Bertha Benz rounded up her two teenage boys, stole a car and took an illegal joyride, so becoming the first person to drive a car between two cities instead of Karl.
Men invent and build; women appropriate.
@Blaximus: “it’s a throwback to what is correct behavior.”
Right, and I have pointed out here on any number of occasions that the system works, and works well, when, and only when, men push back.
However, have you tried that, as a single man, with an 18 year old 9.5 lately? I have the perspective of having been where you were, but also where they are.
You might find you’re not hip to the hepcats, daddio. You have become a stranger in a strange land, without ever having gone anywhere.
It is the land that bends.
@Blax “If some guy was always hanging around orbiting, first I let my girl know in no uncertain terms that I did not care for that stuff. Then I watched. Vetting process initiated. Usually she would have a ” talk ” with said orb and brush them way back. This here goes to the heart of “the problem with orbiters”. It’s not about insecurity/jealousy, it’s about diligent vetting. If you’re willing (brave?) enough to invest your time in a woman beyond casual sex, then vetting in proportion to your investment is required. The number of orbiters a woman has, whether… Read more »
@forge (I dropped your comment into Word to work on and it was 3100 words lol, that’s over 12 pages in a novel. This is some serious content you’re pushing out) and yours is the same length more or less lol. good tho, it has all that stuff in it I asked. thanks. That said, I would have gone with the bourbon thread there. Go into how she’s my type of girl for liking bourbon, I bet you get pretty crazy sometimes, this one time a friend’s wife was at a party with me and drank too much bourbon and… Read more »
@ kfg ” Right, and I have pointed out here on any number of occasions that the system works, and works well, when, and only when, men push back. However, have you tried that, as a single man, with an 18 year old 9.5 lately? I have the perspective of having been where you were, but also where they are. You might find you’re not hip to the hepcats, daddio. You have become a stranger in a strange land, without ever having gone anywhere. It is the land that bends.” I really do get that it’s different for a young,… Read more »
@ Chump No More The orbiter thing is definitely a step in vetting a chick. There are differing behaviors required or a single chick vs an LTR/gf or wife. They can’t exhibit the same behaviors if a man is investing himself and his time. They must be expected to reciprocate. Some times they must reciprocate even more than the man does initially. Lots of chicks do not know or understand this. The FI has very effectively changed the narrative in larger society. The question is, when a man is dealing with a woman on a personal one-on-one level, how much… Read more »
Andy I don’t get this. Like what is the mindset? Why are you not putting up with the orbiters? I’m not saying it’s wrong, I just don’t get it. How would you re-frame it from something other than insecurity? I feel like it would just drive that behavior underground as opposed to eliminating it. The mindset is IT [whatever IT is] simply displeases you and then you are training her that when you are displeased there are consequences, the big one is withdrawing your awesome self from her life. It is the same training routine for everything, how she wears… Read more »
Cheupez ” She just wants fun”
lyrics circa 1983…
“If some guy was always hanging around orbiting, first I let my girl know in no uncertain terms that I did not care for that stuff. Then I watched. Vetting process initiated. Usually she would have a ” talk ” with said orb and brush them way back.” Yeah but these days it would be her dismissing the guys in person, blocking and deleting them on the phone. Unfriending them all on all the different social networks and removing from chat apps… That’s just my generation. Then for the younger generation it would be uninstall tinder, block em from Instagram… Read more »
@ Andy ” Yeah but these days it would be her dismissing the guys in person, blocking and deleting them on the phone. Unfriending them all on all the different social networks and removing from chat apps… That’s just my generation. Then for the younger generation it would be uninstall tinder, block em from Instagram and make the account private, same for snapchat. It’s not like you can enforce that. And asking for all of that… Lol. Kind of unrealistic.” Yeah. I can hear YaReally already…lol. I get what you are saying, and I agree that it is a lot… Read more »
Re: Orbiting I think orbiting is a pretty good strategy if done right. Beta orbiters invest a ton of time and effort and lend and ear and become ‘good friends’ with chicks. TRP has covered extensively why this is stupid. But, keeping in light contact with women is a no-brainer. You meet, get her number, she flakes. Send her a text two days later. Then a week later. Then two weeks. Then a month, etc. If you’re constantly out getting numbers (ya turns out you can’t SNL pull every time), you’ll find that this kind of ‘orbiting’ approach will start… Read more »
@Blaximus
“Commitment is possible under the correct circumstances, but I see very little in that way of discussion.”
Hey, I’m willing to step up and discuss it and relationship game. And be vastly misunderstood. With authentic enthusiasm.
It takes Key-Mastery.
Andy: “Just don’t fuck up the innocent bystanders that haven’t yet realized that you’re not actually wearing any clothes.
I’ll even do it without wearing any clothes.
@ SJF ” Hey, I’m willing to step up and discuss it and relationship game. And be vastly misunderstood. With authentic enthusiasm.” Nah man. Thing is, only a few of us older, married guys want to speak more positively about LTR’s and marriage, and how it can work in a man’s favor. Mostly, lately, I’ve seen more of how marriage is a losing proposition where every man will eventually get divorce raped or cheated on, or the wife will turn into a frozen harpy. But the devil still resides in the details. Idk all of the details in many failed… Read more »
@Blaximus “Yeah. I can hear YaReally already…lol.” I don’t know why you keep making me hit you, baby. You know I don’t like it when I have to do this. I bring to the table a discussion about the REALITY that guys LTR’ing up hot young <25yo pooon in 2016 and beyond, for a long-term having kids settling down relationship, are facing. Maybe we can make some fucking progress and give guys a road-map to navigate the changes in society. But of course, in come the old guys to squash that discussion with "JUST BE ALPHA BRUH. JUST TELL HER… Read more »
@YaReally Indeed getting a 20’s girl to delete her Facebook/Tinder etc is not going to happen. However…some of the 23 year olds I’ve met on OKC once I start banging them delete their profiles or suspend them temporarily…..some don’t. One 24 year old in my rotation still keeps her OKC profile. I say nothing about this. Clearly she’s keeping HER options open while still sexting me and sending me 3-4 ping texts a day. One thing that bothers these 20’s girls is if YOU don’t accept them as a Friend on FB. This is a huge deal for them. The… Read more »
Yareally
I’ll leave this here as a placeholder… I look forward to my further response…
question – if your answer here,How many <25yo hotties have you fucked and converted into monoLTRs since 2014? is also zero (assumed from your writings)… are we are the same footing?
I’m not here to talk about picking up <25 year old hotties and settle down with them and have children with them because they can. Last time I checked, that wasn't in the posting guidelines. But I'm not going to also choose to eat at a restaurant, complain that I've been waiting for my steak, and that I need that baked potato because my insulin is really kicking in and I'm on my own schedule, why can't the restaurant staff be also?. And then bitch that the steak wasn't done yet and give me some of your restaurant glucose. TRM… Read more »
@Blaximus: “Thing is, only a few of us older, married guys want to speak more positively about LTR’s and marriage. . .” You have a clue, you just haven’t unwrapped it yet. “What’s there to lose?” Only everything. And putting everything on the line is not a foreign concept to me. On one of the courses where I hold the record there is a memorial marker for one of the guys who didn’t make it. You can’t even see the online listing for the course until you have clicked a liability waiver, which you can’t get to until you can… Read more »
Addendum: when I speak of LTR game, it makes no difference to me whether a guy is in a mono or poly situation. I don’t believe it makes a difference. If a guy wants to have many balls juggling in the air, he should be good at it and enjoy and be congratulated by his guy friends as to his mastery in that department. I’m not advocating exclusive monogamy. I see a lot of frustration sub-communicated here. Monogamy is an option and so is polyamory and so is serial monogamy. It’s an individual guy’s call. It is not the same… Read more »
@Ya calling out for volunteers on the front row lieutenant said witch one you all will volunteer to go? It wasn’t me. 1;59 cant wait for 69 2;lost track 30yrs ago 3;0 4;0 5;0 I have to agree with the Blax, if she won’t commit to you enough to shut down the orbiters def don’t commit to her,although the last time I had to do this was at least 25 yrs ago.What can I say If I am paying,and I am btw I am not sharing. I can tell a woman who’s man has a strong frame,she is reserved,resists making… Read more »
“People don’t pitch woo any more.” Of course they don’t. You would actually have to expose yourself to pain and vulnerability to do that. Who wants that? “… Gatorade . . .” “Don’t get me started on that shit, but if you must, order the real powered stuff from an athletic supplier.” Honest question KFG: Is the real powered stuff from an athletic supplier different from the commercial, retail powdered stuff on the shelves at Costco, Sam’s Club and Walmart? Does it have less or more glucose than the retail store powder? Do you know approximately how much Glucose (grams… Read more »
@ YaReally Damn bro, did you crack your knuckles before typing that? Lol, I heart you anyway… What I am proposing in 2016 is that guys stop just accepting any and everything that’s placed before them. Why not say that you don’t like a girl using an assload of dating/social media apps? That’s my issue in a nutshell, the whole ” Well, I have to eat this shit or stay all alone forever ” mindset. I actually do really think that guys speaking their minds is a part of a larger solution. That’s why I’ve been posting about the negativity… Read more »
@walawala “@YaReally Indeed getting a 20’s girl to delete her Facebook/Tinder etc is not going to happen.” These guys are fucking delusional. She posted a pic of her with her grandma 4 years ago and got 40 likes and comments, now she’s going to delete her Facebook, delete all her MEMORIES, say “bye grandma, I’m deleting my facebook” “why?” “this guy I’m dating told me to”, and that’s NOT going to trigger any kind of interference from her family/friends? fucking lol “Hey granddaughter, how’s the new baby that I don’t get to see because I live in another part of… Read more »
@ walawala ” If you want to bang 20 year olds and you’re in you’re 40’s you have to understand what all these things mean to them. Your text game has to be tight. You have to be able to banter beyond: “Yo what up?” You have to be able to reference recent movies and tv shows and songs or they perceive you as “old”. They want an older guy….they don’t want an OLD guy.” Lol… So much this right here^^^^ Being around dozens of teens-twenties girls, I get constant exposure to what’s tripping their wires. I had a great… Read more »
@Blax That’s why I watch every new tv series—including the stupid ones. Girls? It’s a fascinating look at how these 20’s girls think and act. Pretend to be above it and you look lame. But…you don’t want to totally lower yourself to their level. Part of the attraction is your experience. So the ones who are attracted are the ones listening to Metallica because it’s “cool” to be the outsider in their group. The idea an older guy can bang 20’s girls blows away my friends who are still stuck in the idea of what society expects of them…ie Feminine… Read more »
@ stuff ” I have to agree with the Blax, if she won’t commit to you enough to shut down the orbiters def don’t commit to her,although the last time I had to do this was at least 25 yrs ago.What can I say If I am paying,and I am btw I am not sharing.” I dunno man. I must be losing my mind. Orbiters and dating apps especially…. I don’t grasp the attitude that a guy should just be like ” well, that’s the way it is. Nothing I can do or even dare to say..”. It’s like guys… Read more »
@ walawala
” That’s why I watch every new tv series—including the stupid ones. Girls? It’s a fascinating look at how these 20’s girls think and act. Pretend to be above it and you look lame.”
Lmfao. Okay, I at least know what the popular shows are, I just won’t really watch them. But I can explain in detail why I don’t care for them.
@SJF: Last time I researched it, about 5 years ago, if it didn’t say “Original Formula” on the package, it wasn’t. You could only get it direct from Gatorade or through athletic supply houses. Doing a quick web refresher I don’t turn it up anywhere. There is stuff that Gatorade calls “Original” on their website, but not “Original Formula” and it doesn’t actually say even “Original” on the package. Looking at the ingredients it lists sugar first, dextrose second. The original formula tasted something like artificial orange flavored saccharine sweat and piss. If it tastes like “fruit drink” it can’t… Read more »
@Blax Ya I watch these young guys on break working their magic on the phone screen,so i ask how many texts per lay,idk they usualy reply so i say about a hundred? Ya about a hundred,the more things change,the more they stay the same. There definitely are some good girls out there that don’t play these games,but for the most part the face is in the phone every chance,that overwhelming need for validation,herd instinct,seems to be virtually met with social media. Maybe this will pass,maybe not until a black swan emp event,idk but the shit is unhealthy,I mean come on… Read more »
@ kfg I get that things have drastically changed. I have always admitted as much. It just seems like an awful perception problem on the part of my fellow man. I know that I’m speaking about ” The Past “, but there’s timeless goodness in some of the past. Like, if some catastrophe happened, and we were blown back into the stone age. Who’s gonna get us out of that mess? Who knows how to generate electricity and build a battery to store it? Or even a light bulb? ( LED’s are a taller order…). A few months back a… Read more »
@SJF “I’m not here to talk about picking up <25 year old hotties and settle down with them and have children with them because they can." Cool, so who's your advice aimed for and for what goals exactly? What relevance does it have to an 18-30yo man in 2016? Are you admitting it has no relevance, because that's my point. Talk about whatever you want, but understand that you're talking about a world that this generation and the next do not and will not live in and they need to understand that. "And ask: How did that happen? What were… Read more »
@ YaReally Damn, my head…. Thanks for the response. I’ma have to re-read it a few more times tho. This is hard for me to wrap my noggin around fully. ” Cool, can you make them delete all their social media and keep them off it for the next 40 years? Or the second they leave your house do they flip open their phone to catch up on all the texts and messages they’ve missed?” … uh yeah. I see them on the phone before they clear the front porch actually. Whew, this shit is harder than the ” social… Read more »
@Ya My head is definitely down most of the time working my skills to pay for someone else party.However not in the sand,these old guys have some serious skills,don’t kid yourself nobody ever handed me anything. The only way to beat virtual validation is for people to be valid,really valid. This doesn’t happen overnight although that will probably be a requirement at some point in the not to distant future. I think you are on the right track,but everyone has to try their own solution until it quits working then come up with another.You definitely have some great insight into… Read more »
@walawala @Blaximus lol I play up the old guy thing. “Oh is that one of those SnapTalk things?” “snapCHAT!! OMG!! You’re so old!!” They love it. But I’m also in-touch enough for that to come across as me being aware of it (from hanging out with young girls like them) but thinking it’s stupid, VS being completely out of touch with modern society (like a guy who doesn’t have any young girls in his life would be lol) Like I don’t watch any of the shows girls watch and I’ll make fun of the shows as looking dumb, but I’m… Read more »
@YaReally “The other thing I’m noticing is the boredom thing. Everyone is so fucking BORED. Why is that?” This is something I hear from some 20’s girls I meet/bang. It’s the Cluster B types like the 28 year old causing me all that drama. The “boredom” comes from a place of her own lack of self-esteem that has been validated and compensated for by InstaGoogleTweetFace… She would say “I’m so bored….” but it’s more a factor of “entertain me…” the way my social media contacts entertain me… This is why it’s critical for guys in their 40’s like me to… Read more »
“Cool, so who’s your advice aimed for and for what goals exactly?” Any man that wants to improve through red pill awareness, masculine self improvement, self limiting beliefs, enlightened self interest. Abstract concepts of masculine strength, courage, mastery and honor among men and their surrogates. I love game and PUA principles. I’m skeptical that a significant portion of men can actually achieve mastery over Game. (but of course I’m idealistic cynic that thinks most people are too lazy, short-sighted or self-serving to actually achieve those fantastic results while knowing without a doubt that with effort, intelligence and consideration, nothing is… Read more »
Sentient “Play along with this… it is coming. Already in Australia… if you are in a LTR (which can be defined as little as 3 years currently) you may be liable to pay partner support… Palimony in the US for now, but this type of support classification IS coming no doubt. It will be accelerated if Clinton wins…” Rollo and everyone, you may find this interesting. British Columbia, Canada, is as far as I know the first and only jurisdiction in North America to make living together EXACTLY the same legally as a registered marriage. The legislation passed in 2011… Read more »
@SJF, kfg
Forget Gatorade. I mostly agree with the approach of finding natural alternatives, but for convenience:
http://www.metagenics.com/mp/products/endura
I’m told by people who know their shit that the sugars in this are treated in a way that prohibits over quick absorption (something something bound to amylodextrins sorry don’t recall specifics) but it might be worth looking into.
And kfg – no fears re: celiac. I’ve got your poison and both labeling and my experience speak to its safety.
She is not on social media looking for sexually neutral orbiters. There are plenty of those for sure. Annoying to her. She is trying for alpha dick. Yours is already in her clutch, she needs other alpha dick. If some blazing hot celeb type mofo hits her up n asks to meet up she is going to be fucked while you are busy fucking some other broad somewhere. Reality is that; marriage in 2016 is a joke.
@hank Thanks for your clarifications, I can see the situ a bit better. You met a sexually brash girl. That does factor in a little bit, but why do you think her coworker gave you a weird look when she started going off? Instead of just rolling his eyes and saying to himself ‘oh god here she goes again’? Have a little irrational self-confidence, man! 😉 You got her in a show-off mood. That’s what her show-off looks like. Yesterday I got a girl into a show-off mood and anticipate banging her soon. For her it just looked like acting… Read more »
@YaReally “The other thing I’m noticing is the boredom thing. Everyone is so fucking BORED. Why is that?” This is something I hear from some 20’s girls I meet/bang. The “boredom” comes from a place of her own lack of self-esteem that has been validated and compensated for by InstaGoogleTweetFace… She would say “I’m so bored….” but it’s more a factor of “entertain me…” the way my social media contacts entertain me… PUA and Game are about breaking through the loneliness and isolation brought about by technology and peoples’ buffering in real life to avoid really engaging in other people… Read more »
In another realm, my thoughts:
I’m staying the hell away from this whole YaReally/SJF/Blax/Sentient shindig. But my detached perspective is that married 50-ish men and single any-ish men are different demographics and may require different advice for differing situations. I personally resonate strongly with the initiative to gain more knowledge about what a young or single man is to do in contemporary, digital, changing culture. That’s what I want to figure out, personally. But there are also married men who need advice about how to ameliorate their circumstances. It’s not irrelevant. And I have particular respect for men who, though older, make a continuous effort… Read more »
@SJF “Really, YaReally? Your view is that your PUA world is all that can be known to exist. And that is all that matters and the only thing that matters in Red Pill to other commenters, readers and lurkers on Rollo’s blog?” No, but my impression was that part of the purpose of the site is to guide future generations of men into understanding the red pill realities of the world around them so they can better navigate them and we can have less men putting a noose around their neck (metaphorically and literally). Like it or not, you and… Read more »
My not so detached perspective is that married 50-ish men and single any-ish men are different demographics but have universalities that the younger demographic doesn’t think matters. SJF Maxim #1 is: Everything Matters. In my last link which the younger demographic probably won’t read is the words of Robert Pirsig in early 1970’s: “My personal feeling is that this is how any further improvement of the world will be done: by individuals making Quality decisions and thats all. God, I dont want to have any more enthusiasm for big programs full of social planning for big masses of people that… Read more »
So, if everything changes every six years and we are mortal, how does that legacy leave a meaningful trace? Is figuring it out a completion in life to leave behind?
“Personally, I think it’s important that that writing focus on helping those future men overcome the challenges they’re going to be facing instead of focusing on crying about negativity and bragging about fucking old wrinkled wives from a bygone era.”
Exactly what my purpose is. How did our purposes align so? Let’s me and you fight.
Note to self: Wife overdue for Botox. Do her.
“I’m staying the hell away from this whole YaReally/SJF/Blax/Sentient shindig.” I sat out the last few rounds, because I didn’t see any value in getting all covered in mud for nothing. And I only stepped in this time because I can’t be accused of being some young pup only interested in PUA, neither applies to me. I fully understand what it was like back in the day. I fully understand where the Old Guys are coming from when they talk about the advantages of marriage. AND I fully understand the guys who got burned by marriage, hence I understand what… Read more »
” . . . you’re probalby not going to disassemble and reassemble a Tesla with a wrench.”
Disassembly is no problem, but it’s kinda hard to reassemble “blowed up real good.”
I know the technology has advanced some, and I do mad scientist type shit with them myself here and there, but idea of that many lithium-ion cells wired together gives me the heebie-jeebies. It’s just asking for trouble.
“I fully understand where the Old Guys are coming from when they talk about the advantages of marriage.” Marriage after the fact and sustaining a good thing is good. You don’t Run Forrest Run from every damn difficult situation, rather than thrive on your own intuition and skill and adaptivity. Marriage for the sake of marriage is a shitty proposition. I agree with the facts in 2016. There are pockets where it works. But. Marriage on this forum is a red herring (something, especially a clue, that is or is intended to be misleading or distracting). Totally distracting from a… Read more »
Marriage can only be meaningful to a man in a situation where he stays because he is treated well, he is loved, he is respected, and he is treated like a man. If he is bringing in 100% of the resources to sustain the marriage and the wife is more than eager to kick him out so she can have the resources without the man, all the while cuckolding and bringing in bastards from who knows where? I don’t know how the west expects men to put up with this any longer. It is a wonder how this has gone… Read more »
YaReally’s comments on orbiters ring true from everything I’ve seen lately. I work with, and am frequently around many (50+) women in their teens to early 30’s. It’s common for the attractive ones to have lots of orbiters. They provide everything from validation to handy man services with little more than a pat on the head in return. They come to expect it. How many would walk away from free shit, and all the praise they want? Few, but more likely, none of them would. As long as they provide some value to her, they will be there. As for… Read more »
@Yareally
Hey man, I was wondering what is up with http://yareallyarchive.com site. havent been updated for a while. its kinda annoying reading your material through tiny font comments. any chance for an update soon ??<3 😀
The only thing I have to add to the orbiter thing is that there’s nowhere to hide your girl. Even the stay at home Mom. Stay at home Dads are fairly normal right now. They aren’t all over the place, but there’s enough of them to point it out. There will probably only be more as time goes on. Men are in girls spaces too…
I’ve been using more overt dread recently. Only upside so far, and I think as time goes on that will be more and more necessary for guys.
Game is like a levee. At first, Game is a big tall wall beating back the feminist tides of society. But the matriarchy isn’t a static thing. Much like the real thing, the waters of society rise until eventually the original walls of Game can’t hold back the floodwaters anymore. Then you either update your game (building a taller levee) or let the floodwaters wash away your sex life. The tactics which worked back in Neil Strauss’ day for getting laid are ancient history today. The moves to close in 2016 will be obsolete by 2020. Methods used to vet… Read more »
@Yareally “I’m looking ahead to what realistic solutions there are for men to accept this shit and work within the new shifts in culture, instead of denying they’re happening” Well, to be fair only BD has concrete applicable solutions in this area for the times we live in. The only thing left to be fully sorted out is how to raise kids. Ok, we already ruled that mariage is out of the question if you dont want your life to be fucked beyond repair. From that, I think in 2016, guys just need to decide what % of drama they… Read more »
Yareally I’m not telling anyone to shut up or not post their advice. I’m pointing out that for young guys and future generations who read this, that advice is outdated and NOT field tested in 2016. So you and I are in the same place… you’ve not passed your own hypethetical [How many <25yo hotties have you fucked and converted into monoLTRs since 2014] and you've not even tried to get a girl to delete her social media. Yet you say it is impossible, delusional and retarded. Perhaps this is just a limiting belief you hold? Welcome the the Armchair… Read more »
I think it’s really time for young guys to let go of the “old rules” : you won’t work in the same company all your life like your dad, you won’t live in the same town all your life like your dad, and you won’t keep the same woman all your life like your dad. That’s it, due to social and technological changes we will NEVER go back to that. People will have access to an ever increasing choice of options in every aspect of life, including for partners. And the more options you have, the weaker your loyalty link,… Read more »
I will drop this article right here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jamie-utt/5-common-behaviors-cis-me_b_11666636.html?
If you can resist punching the monitor. his weep-fest is great reading, chiefly because he inadvertently blunders into discussing red pill truths along the way. Either it’s a world class trolling of Huff Post, or this guy is a standout example of a shame-filled, neutered and reprogrammed Beta from the ground up.
“Used to be fat women were shamed by other women. Now they’re cover models for print media .” Now they are being told that because they are fat it is an unrealistic expectation to become not fat, that the not fat version of their actual body type is as “unachievable” as becoming Barbie. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Go strait to fail. “Used to be women dated guys exclusively in high school and college. Far as I can tell now that’s a dead and gone practice below high social echelons.” There’s even a new TLA: LUG, Lesbian… Read more »
Andy
I’ve been using more overt dread recently. Only upside so far
And why do you think your wife is responding Andy? Is it because of the legal ramifications of being married? Or is it because she percieves YOU as high value?
And why is she responding at all right? Shouldn’t she, according to Yatheory, just be ignoring you and getting all her validation and sex from orbiters and social media? Shouldn’t she be pursuing her unchained hypergamy?
Or is she pursuing it and YOU are the focus? hmmmmm.
“And why is she responding at all right? Shouldn’t she, according to Yatheory, just be ignoring you and getting all her validation and sex from orbiters and social media? Shouldn’t she be pursuing her unchained hypergamy?”
Yeah, I’ll make it work, but it’s not going to be called monogamy. And I’m working from the advantage of a mid-thirties girl. And *I* can’t make it work with monogamy… Even with all the resources we have here. With a fucking former 7… lol. The dream is DEAD.
Gonna have to agree with Yareally here, need more game strategy targeted towards LTRing in 2016. Find most pua material is centered around ons or 2-3 day closes in general. Im in a situation where im open to ons when going out and having a good time but at the same time on the look out for potential LTR material where it may take longer.
Bromeo – the “game” is the same. THAT is the takeaway. Have hand, never lose it.
But it brings up an interesting paradox. You have to instill dread because of her bad behavior which is an indicator of your lower value. But in my recent case her bad behavior is acting out NOT because she sees me as “lower” value…but just the opposite, she feels pissed off I’m NOT committing to her. The reasons I’m not committing to her without getting into specifics is because i’m not convinced she’s sincere. Beyond being a great bang…she did nothing for my birthday and every month is struck down by some incurable disease which is a shit test that… Read more »
Looks to me like Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World is right at our doorstep. The corporate State practically raises our children already. Even when they are home from school the children are getting programmed by the corporate social and entertainment medias and FI indoctrinations. Women seem willing and ready to allow the corporate State to fully take over the raising of our children in some kind of collectivist “utopia” even if it’s not as dystopic as the book in how it achieves this, the end result will be the same. Women may just begin to hit the sperm bank or… Read more »
@Sentinent “”Maybe men just weren’t meant to be involved in child-rearing until that child was old enough to be a warrior.” You have two children, you’ve had no impact on their early development?” Oh I had huge impact. My software developer career suffered because of it. My golden rule was ‘everyone at the dinner table every night’. I can count the exceptions on one hand. I build a farm around them. I played with their toys and dragged them thru museums… I’m just saying the older model of a distant father used to work (think pre-1950), Maybe current RP men’s… Read more »
@cheupez “The girls fuck a guy now, fuck another tomorrow, and yet another the day after. Sometimes she does not even know your name before she is getting down. She just wants fun. At times girls appear to have a bigger appetite for sex than many of the men. To me the idea that we would consider these women gate keepers for sex…a bit far fetched if you ask me.” Yep. I have experience with inner city kids, and the only thing I would add to that is the type of guys the girls are sexually attracted to tend to… Read more »
@Msam No idea, I’ll tell Lumpy. @Sentient “you’ve not passed your own hypethetical [How many <25yo hotties have you fucked and converted into monoLTRs since 2014" My hypothetical is "it's not possible to make <25yo hotties delete all their social media accounts and quit interacting with other men or have any orbiters in 2016", which we've all passed a bunch of times by not being able to do it. You're the one making unreasonable claims that gravity doesn't work if you just believe strongly enough even though you haven't demonstrated that you can actually think gravity away. What you're saying… Read more »
In my opinion, the comments are lacking context. I want to drop a few well constructed chapters from The Black Flag book by Franco that was written in 2004 that are not so disagreeable to “our” tribe. Being a single man and living alone It’s a big mistake getting married and entering a permanent relationship with a woman without having experience with women. Before allowing yourself to enter a permanent relationship with a woman you must learn: 1. To be alone. 2. To enjoy life alone. 3. To be completely independent in all areas of life: cooking, taking care of… Read more »
Also from Franco (this has all been said many times before, but it is concise context): A new context Marriage or an exclusive long-term relationship with a woman has become, in our western society, an ugly affair for men. The changing process from a patriarchal society to a post-modern society, which includes women’s liberation, has kept the subservient mental state of men but it has taken away all the advantages men used to have from being a husband and the head of the family. Getting married, being faithful to only one woman has become a one-way affair from which everyone… Read more »
Franco Being a playboy “Starting from this point of view, a life as a playboy, while waiting for a woman to show up who really loves you and shows that she wants to support and respect you, without trying to manipulate you for her interests or making you feel guilty for your sexuality might be an excellent alternative to marriage or to a long-term relationship As definition: if a woman says she loves you, then she must demonstrate it by showing you respect and accepting as part of your humanity the fact that a man is an active sexual animal,… Read more »
Franco: Being a husband and father “In order to be one day a father and a husband you must be a selector and not the “selected.” You must reverse your relations with women so that it’s you who selects who is the right woman to be the mother of your children and not the other way around. A woman who is suitable to be the mother of your children: – Shows respect for you. – Supports you. – Accepts you as an active sexual animal and she doesn’t try to make you feel ashamed or guilty for the fact that… Read more »
@Sentient How about some bodybuilding dude: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=150772183 Scroll down on this one for all the un-asked-for advice she’ll get from her friends and family when her social media accounts disappear: http://www.girlsaskguys.com/social-relationships/q605101-do-you-think-making-your-girlfriend-delete-her But if they’re engaged that’ll make a difference right, let’s see how the wedding forum crowd react, surely they’ll sense what an alpha badass he is: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/fiance-wants-me-to-delete-my-instagram-account/ This isn’t even a RECENT one but here’s one of the sosuave guys’ attempt lol: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/my-girlfriend-chose-facebook-over-me.182320/ And that’s with a basic google search, I could dig you up hundreds of these. Your turn: how many 7+/10 <25yo hotties in even 2010+ have… Read more »
This is just theory, but I think that if you pick an <25 7+ and just knock her up immediately, and keep her knocked up/nursing till she's post wall you're probably going to be fine. Especially if you have girls on the side and she knows about it. She'll be occupied with the kids enough that it shouldn't be a problem.
Andy
Now we are getting somewhere! Welcome Back to the Future? But it is not theory it is history… there is a big difference…
You have to be high value and giving something in the relationship though… you won’t get a rando hook up or a once a week FB to fully commit to you… You can’t view potential via that lens only… you have to have another side of the coin KeyMasters…
Hypergamy is in service to the Prime Directive which is gene replication… Her genes (solipsism always in all ways!)…
@cheupez “Marriage can only be meaningful to a man in a situation where he stays because he is treated well, he is loved, he is respected, and he is treated like a man. If he is bringing in 100% of the resources to sustain the marriage and the wife is more than eager to kick him out so she can have the resources without the man, all the while cuckolding and bringing in bastards from who knows where? I don’t know how the west expects men to put up with this any longer. It is a wonder how this has… Read more »
Continued from above…A man has to decide if he wants to have a family or if he wants financial security. He can’t have both. And if he choses a family, he sets his own work quota by his past education and work. Why work hard if that work will only increase your burden at some later date? The Soviets tried to impose a work quota, and in response, everyone worked less until the system collapsed. The West has created a very similar type of system. Many women seem to be having an oh shit moment, which is likely the reason… Read more »
If you can resist punching the monitor. his weep-fest is great reading, chiefly because he inadvertently blunders into discussing red pill truths along the way. Either it’s a world class trolling of Huff Post, or this guy is a standout example of a shame-filled, neutered and reprogrammed Beta from the ground up.
That’s just a faggot trapped in a straight man’s body, is what that is.
@Yareally Ignore the trolls lol, the idea of getting a girl to give up fb/phone is totally ludicrous to me. I’m currently living in a Mediterranean country where social circle is key and isolation incredibly difficult to achieve. I’ve tried MM group theory and having a (half-useful) wing, but it’s tough going. Three questions: 1) What sort of interactions do you try and achieve if other people are present? I’ve dropped most of the kino and go for laser-eyes, toned down a bit of the sexuality a bit as well. Engage the friends and make them like me, but keep… Read more »
@Radium I must admit, I don’t have a lot of experience with inner city populations. The happy-go-lucky-“I-will-fuk-them-all-guyz” type of girls I was describing are actually the college girl types. Those ones seem to be keen to prevent any pregnancy from occurring because they do not want to curtail their fun. Any pregnancy that occurs will usually be flushed out as soon as possible, and the girl carries on with her life as if nothing happened. It appears to me as if the pussy for sex is not the pussy for getting kids. A woman who wants kids, then she does… Read more »
re: monogamy LTRs 2016 social media
http://www.lowbird.com/data/images/2011/05/tumblr-lkwcidfqzv1qjhisho1-500.gif
honestly.
marriage is just a death trap for men from any RATIONAL, LOGICAL perspective.
just let those chicks ROAM FREE. who cares?
do your own thing, let them come into your life for however long and then just sayonara.
lol
i can’t really wrap my head around why people are so into marrying a chick or monogamy or her being monogamous to them.
who fucking cares?
“who fucking cares?”
@scray
Seeing your kids every day and raising them in this fucked up society is the dilemma.
“Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon”
– Walter Kovacs
[…] post over at The Rational Male and the comments that follow got me thinking about some of the games […]
^^^Hehehe…just when you were mentioning it, there goes another oh-shit woman.
YaReally Well what I can glean from your very long non answer is you have not tried to monoLTR a <25YO since 2014 and you did not try to get this girl you didn't monoLTR to delete her social media. Am I correct here? But you have come across posts that indicate it will be difficult to do so… and from this we are to infer now that it is impossible? OK Wala – correct the record here… have you been trying to get one of your 30 girls into a monoLTR? I haven't gotten that from your many posts.… Read more »
Sentiment
You have defeated him with his own logic! There is no need for anyone to test any of this. First principles for the win!
@N1 lol something I can help with 1) What sort of interactions do you try and achieve if other people are present? this is basic MM. engage your obstacles. jester them. find out that their passions are (where you guys from? really, what made you move out here then? for engineering, wow, I’m way to bad at math for that shit. its like greek to me lol. when did you know you wanted to be an engineer? Yeah, I’m sure your uncle would have been proud to know you were following in his footsteps, etc.etc.) If these guys are cool,… Read more »
@scray
“i can’t really wrap my head around why people are so into marrying a chick or monogamy or her being monogamous to them”
That’s the real question isn’t it…
I can intellectually get that some guys don’t want an endless parade of ONS, or even FBs, but nowadays we KNOW how to set up a p/oLTR which have all the benefits of a monoLTR without the drawbacks.
Blows my mind that guys who are aware of this choose monogamy….
Blue Pill conditioning has raised generations of Beta men to see monogamy as a Buffer against rejection. Betas embrace committed monogamy as an article of personal virtue, when it is in fact his discomfort with rejection that makes this an ego-investment.
Not everyone is cookie cutter.
Some guys prefer a monogamous relationship.
Some dudes don’t mind kissing a chick after she’s sucked some guy off the night before… Lol ( I’m kidding ).
To my mind, it is just as strange to hear a guy profess that they have zero interest in a monogamous relationship.
Not saying it MUST be, but the complete lack of interest seems odd.
Banging multiple chicks is the standard. Anyone can do that. It’s a great default position.