To start off today’s topic I thought I’d repost a Red Pill reddit thread I received a link-back to last week. Rather than give you my own summary of this guy’s situation, I felt the impact would be more significant by posting it in its entirety; and also because I don’t believe the guy really got a fair hearing on his original post.
I posted this earlier on another subreddit but it ended up getting removed because of fighting in the comments. I’ll sum up what happened thus far. I met my wife 7 years ago, she was extremely picky when it came to sex. She told me she only has been with 1 other guy before. She would never give a blow job, only would do certain positions and found almost every sex act degrading. I was frustrated by this, but I really liked her and hoped over the years she would open up sexually. Over the years, it never got any better but I learned to get over it. Well I ended up finding an old video from her college days of her engaging in group sex with 6 other people 5 guys 1 girl. In the video she has anal sex, oral sex, gets double teamed, and yells multiple times in the video she is a “I am a filthy whore.” All of it she was enthusiastic about it. I ended up feeling really sad. I can understand certain stuff people don’t want to do, but it wasn’t the fact she didn’t want to do them. She didn’t want to do them with me but every other guy she was their whore. I was angry hurt and I ended up saying some stupid shit to my wife.
I asked her if she could drop our daughter off at her sister’s house because I wanted to talk to her. She asked why, I told her we’d discuss after she came back.
I don’t remember all the details of the conversation, so I’ll try my best to sum it up. I was drinking a bit before she came which wasn’t the best idea.
Me: Is there anything about your past you have been hiding about me?
Her: Why are we talking about this?
Me: I just want to know were you in any type of porn or anything like that?
Her: are you taking drugs?
Me: I found your video from college with the other guys. I don’t know who you are anymore and I feel ill being around you.
She starts crying.
Me: Do you have anything to say?
She continues to cry. This was pointless I go to grab my keys to leave. And she tries to stop me.
Me: If you don’t want me to leave then I need you to be 100% honest with me, and tell me why you lied to me for all these years.
She: I didn’t want you to think I was a slut
Me: I would have been perfectly fine if you told me, I would have loved to have done those wild things with you. Look I get it I don’t turn you on like those other guys do. You liked sucking their dicks but not mine.
She: It’s not that, I didn’t want you to think less of me.
Me: No it is exactly that, there is a thing lying about sleeping with other guys. It’s not that you didn’t like doing those things. You didn’t like doing them with me.
She: I can do that stuff with you. I am attracted to you, you know that.
Me: I don’t want you to do it because you feel like you have to. I want someone that actually desires me.
She: I can change I promise don’t ruin our marriage over this we can work things out. We can go to marriage counseling seriously talk to me.
Me: Marriage counseling won’t change how you feel about me. Look I will try marriage counseling but I want a trial separation for now.
She: Please don’t do this. Don’t throw away our marriage for what I did in college please.
Me: Stop fucking acting like it’s a one time thing. Be honest with me how many guys did you fuck before me. How many guys dicks have you sucked, and how many guys have you let fuck you in the ass.
She: why does it matter, I said I’ll do them with you
Me: I am so fucking lucky. I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.
She: Please don’t waste all of our marriage for this. I am willing to change.
Me: I am not divorcing you but I want a trial separation for now, and I want to see how things go, right now I feel sick looking at you.
I ended up leaving my wife kept trying to stop me. She kept on begging saying I could do anything I wanted with her, it was truly pathetic and I lost all respect for my wife the way she was trying to manipulate me with sex.
I am staying at a motel right now; I have been getting constant calls from my wife. She has been asking me where I am, if I tell her than she is going to confront me and I don’t feel like I am ready for that. I feel so fucking drained. I feel bad saying those things to my wife but I don’t know what else to do I am so fucking hurt over this.
As I said before I wouldn’t care if she had a promiscuous past, seriously, wouldn’t care but the fact she did all those things for other guys but doesn’t do them for me hurts me the deepest.
I don’t see how this marriage can be recovered. I can’t change her attraction to me. My father has recently has been diagnosed with a tumor in his lung, and that has already been stressing me out pretty badly.
Please tell me what exactly I can do, my confidence as a man has been destroyed. Before I found out about this, I tried to get my wife to open up sexually but she completely shot it down. I really believe she isn’t attracted to me in the way she was to those other guys. That’s why she felt completely fine being “their whore” but won’t give me a blow job. I want a woman that looks at me lustfully, not that has sex with me to fulfill “wifey duties.”
I don’t feel entitled to other types of sex with my wife. I want her to want to do them. Now even if she does do them it will be out of guilt, not out of desire. I don’t see how we can recover our marriage. I feel really shitty that I won’t be able to seem my daughter as much, especially during her younger years.
I have already made some calls to reroute my paychecks and get my finances in order if we do go for a divorce. My brother works at a big law firm, I am thinking about contacting him to at least see what I should be doing now. Thing is once I call him it becomes the point of no return, if I tell my family members than their image of my wife becomes destroyed. Also I’d have to check because right now she is dependent on me for health insurance, and I don’t want her to be deprived of that if we do divorce, because she has been having health issues. I don’t want to ruin anything but I can’t see how things would ever be okay. If you don’t have any advice for me and are just going to be judgmental please don’t waste your time commenting. I know I said some hurtful things in there but you don’t know the level of hurt I am feeling right now. I have apologized to my wife since then, but I don’t see how our relationship can be recovered.
Edit – I want to make things work, between me and my wife. I understand she doesn’t want to do certain sex acts. I am considering proposing to her the idea of an open marriage. That way we can still be together as a family and we both can have the fulfilling sex lives we want.
There’s a lot going on in this situation, but I think the first thing that should be addressed here is that, personally, I think these sorts of past life revelations are a lot more common than most men are comfortable in admitting. I wish I could say this was the first time I’ve ever encountered a story like his — it’s actually the 7th time, and four of those were personal accounts from men I’ve counseled.
As our culture becomes more technologically adept, electronic records – whether they’re ‘self-shots’, incriminating GNO pics uploaded to various forms of social media, male-stripper party videos, or amateur / semi-pro pornography – will have an increasingly greater role in filling the pieces of the puzzle that constitutes a woman’s relational and sexual past. The real problem will cease to be doing any actual detective work, and more about what a (Beta) man will allow himself to believe about his ‘special snowflake’ in contrast to the gestalt knowledge of women’s behaviors on whole.
There was a recent article posted on Return of Kings by Emmanuel Goldstein detailing the Game necessity of presuming all women are sluts. In light of stories like this it’s hard not to see the pragmatism in that, but at least when you are single, Game-aware and spinning plates you have the luxury and (should have) the foresight to know that even the Good Girls ‘Do’ have the inclination to go feral with the hot Alpha in the foam cannon party in Cancun on Spring Break when she’s in the proliferative phase of her ovulatory cycle.
Predictably, I’m sure the “ooh, ooh men do it too!” wing of the critics gallery will be the first to cry foul, as they ever have, about my drawing attention to the feral dynamics of sexual side of feminine hypergamy. And were it only about one side of women’s pluralistic sexual strategy (Alpha Fucks & Beta Bucks) they might have a point, but it’s the other half of the Hypergamic equation, the part that requires long term male provisioning paired with emotional investment that sets men’s short term sexual appetites apart from women’s short term Hypergamy.
The Best of Her
The author of this reddit thread is feeling the sharp end of that Hypergamic equation. While I’m sure there will be every effort made to paint this man’s wife as some fucked up, emotionally damaged, and conveniently, sexually abused victim (we don’t know this, but that was the default association in the comments of his original thread), the operative I’m driving at here isn’t about her individualized experiences, but the methodology she and all women use to justify their sexual pluralism.
Prior to the advent of technologies that could evidentially prove women’s sexual exploits (often proudly so now) the more visceral aspects of a woman’s sexuality, and the inconvenient hindbrain/hormonal prompts that motivate them, could be kept secret well enough to deceive a man with provisioning potential to commit to the long term security the other half of her Hypergamy demands. As the technology to record this becomes more ubiquitous, more permanent and fluid in its use, as men become more interconnected by it, and as women enjoy more self-affirmation from it, rationalizing her past indiscretions becomes more of an imperative.
Men saturated and conditioned over the better half of their lifetime by the feminine imperative to be the convenient cuckolds to women’s Hypergamy – men like the author of this confession – have an ego-invested interest in presuming the woman they pair with will be “giving him the best of herself” once his ship comes in and all of his patience and equalist beliefs finally pay off.
Only, men like this discover too late, usually well after they realize their commitment has hamstrung their SMV peak potential, that not only have they been a retroactive cuckold (sometimes even moralistically proud to be so), but they’ve been socially conditioned to be one, by their mothers, their emasculated fathers, their sisters, female friends, teachers and the whole of the feminine imperative’s effort for most of their lives.
One of the reasons I, and most of the manosphere, receive so much scorn from plugged-in, feminine primary society is that we risk to expose this process. This author’s story is the inconvenient truth of a pluralistic feminine sexual strategy. Women’s capacity to cash out of the SMP, to raise children, to create a semblance of a family life so conflicted with her single life, on what she thinks should be her terms, all rides on keeping men with a long term provisioning potential (greater Betas) ignorant of their pre-cuckolding and the conditioning that took so long to convince them would be their responsibility.
I am so fucking lucky. I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.
The primary reason men become preoccupied with women’s sexual past is rooted in ‘getting the best’ she has to offer him sexually. There is certainly more aspects to this (fidelity, secure attachment, etc.), but as I’ve stated before, all men want a slut, they just want her to be HIS slut. Once the belief that he’s getting the best sex she has to offer him is dispelled, viscerally and definitively, the nature of the Desire Dynamic comes into sharp focus.
I Want You to Want Me
Naturally, once a woman’s true sexual capacity is revealed after the establishment of her normalized, married sexuality, her first impetus is to preserve the provisioning she enjoyed while ‘her secret’ was working for her.
Me: No it is exactly that, there is a thing lying about sleeping with other guys. It’s not that you didn’t like doing those things. You didn’t like doing them with me.
She: I can do that stuff with you. I am attracted to you, you know that.
[…] She: Please don’t waste all of our marriage for this. I am willing to change
What we’re reading here is the script for negotiated desire. Her real desire isn’t for his satisfaction or any real resolution for the deception of her sexual pluralism, but rather a solipsistic maintaining of a normalcy for herself. Our author has no other rationalizations to fall back on, denial of his conditions are no longer sufficient, and he begins to realize a cruel red pill truth – you cannot negotiate genuine desire.
He wants her to want him, he wants her to desire sex with him with the same verve and enthusiasm she did with other men in her videos. He wants her sexual best, but her 7 years of unwillingness to give him that while enjoying the benefits of his provisioning, his patience, love and perseverance only puts her strategy, the Hypergamic strategy, into perfect focus. Her genuine desire, her sexual best was never intended for him in the first place.
Living Tree: So as to preserve some semblance of credibility, please answer this question: Do you condemn and denounce this woman’s fundamental dishonesty and fraud as Jeremy outlined above? Do you denounce her intentional lying to her husband about her N and her intentional and deliberate withholding of sex from her husband? This guy just wanted his wife to suck his dick and she refuses him; while he then runs across a video which simultaneously proves beyond all doubt his wife is an unrepentant liar and an enthusiastic participant in all manner of sexual conduct – with men she deems… Read more »
Of course I denounce it Deti, its repulsive! She married this poor guy under false pretenses, so she could pretend to herself that she was something other than what she was. She feels ashamed by what she did in the past, so much so that it is stifling her ability to even admit that she wants to be sexual! What really angers me is that even now, 60 years after the supposed “sexual revolution”, so many women still feel deeply ashamed about having sexual needs, that they have to cover them up and lie about them. And her husband is… Read more »
He wants her sexual best, but her 7 years of unwillingness to give him that while enjoying the benefits of his provisioning, his patience, love and perseverance only puts her strategy, the Hypergamic strategy, into perfect focus.
Her genuine desire, her sexual best was never intended for him in the first place.
Best summation of what women are thinking. Still can’t understand why men get married at all.
As an aside, I wonder what witness protection program she entered – to change her story that much to her husband. But, there were lots of things I didn’t know about my wife before we married. She only brought up the two kids she gave up for adoption because one of them had reached out to her – saying they wanted meet her and she was afraid they would show up at the door one day.
Past lives are very interesting. Still no excuse for not coming clean and/or lying to begin with.
I am going to stand on this platform and scream it until you listen.
IF YOU WANT TO MARRY SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR PAST HIDDEN FROM, OR THAT YOU HAVE TO SUBJUGATE YOUR NEEDS TO BE WITH, YOU ARE MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE.
Well for me marriage is the only legit place you can have sex…otherwise it is a sin. That would be my motivation along with having a family.
But I’m the oddity now…when this used to be the norm. And even with my personal feelings on how I regard marriage…I wouldn’t advise it for any guy unless he knows full well what he is getting into.
I’d rather do more productive things with my time on this planet and let the chips fall where they may.
“Women just get terribly upset when I deconstruct the mechanics behind it so men are better prepared for it.”
Ah the innate sexuality…otherwise known as the “feminine mystique”.
Women never tell men this stuff and I wouldn’t expect them too. So they get mad when a guy talks about it and could care less about their feelings.
@earl Well for me marriage is the only legit place you can have sex…otherwise it is a sin. That would be my motivation along with having a family. I think about this from time to time. Probably because I used to be religious, but not any more. Also because I still occasionally meet women who are honest-to-god virgins (or at least as close as anyone could possibly venture to verify without an exam using some nitrile). After going red-pill, the female virgin is actually a hot potato, an enigma that’s difficult to reconcile. I can’t find a solution, because I… Read more »
@LT… You’d be surprised at how accommodating Men can be with regard to a woman’s sexual past. In fact, we can (and do, as evidenced by this story, and probably countless others) turn a blind eye to it. I knew my wife was on the slutty side – hell our relationship started out as a ONS – and she was more than willing to throw me under the bus and start looking for my replacement (and I still wanted her to be my wife). Oh, Men may be rough and hard around the edges, but once committed to something, it… Read more »
Great post, Tin Man. I’ve long suspected as much. 🙂
Men try to pretend their all simple and and unaffected and whatever, but I know the truth, they are really very emotionally complex. Probably much more so than women, if the truth were told.
Women are not emotionally complex, they’re just messy, messy from the shit of the world. If there were less shit in the world, or if we could rise above it rather than be brought down so easily by it… well, lets just say this site would have no reason to exist.
@Livingtree2013: Your argument, as I understand it, is follows:
This woman’s anti-slut conditioning was too weak to keep her from gangbanging 5 guys on camera, but was too strong to overcome to give her husband a blowjob.
Further, the husband is responsible for not getting what he wanted from her, but she was helpless in the face of her anti-slut conditioning.
Is that a fair summary?
By any chance, are you familiar with the terms “hyperagency” and “hypoagency”?
No, Roe, you missed the point completely. Anti-slut conditioning isn’t really enough to make women not want to have crazy sex. It may actually make them want to have crazy sex even more, just to be deviant. They just feel shamed about it when they do, because of the anti-slut conditioning.
Then, they choose to marry men who don’t want whores, because it can make them forget (temporarily) about the fact that they might actually be one.
Isn’t that dreadfully obvious?? I thought so.
@LT He was not defrauded though, I will not concede that point. If you won’t concede that, we’re at another philosophical impasse. The male in a relationship gets access to the woman’s, any blockage of that access is fraud. If you get access to the fruit of my labor, I get access to your body. That’s the deal. She’s a liar, she committed to the man without telling him her sexual past while telling him she would not do certain things. She let him believe she wouldn’t do them because of any other reason then the truth. She committed marital… Read more »
I think this is just a technical sticking point, not a philosophical impasse. We can get through this one Jeremy, don’t give up yet! lol… Is that the deal Jeremy? Did they make that deal when they married? I bet no-one ever has that type of understanding when they marry, they just make assumptions. Oh, the list of doomed couples I could list here… Plus, going back to our last argument, this is exactly why women wanted that dastardly “independence”, so they wouldn’t be bound by the confines of the trade, the trade in which they only had one thing… Read more »
LT,
For all she knew, if she had told him about her past, he would up and leave her.
It would have happened for sure before marriage.
Please reverse the genders in your mind and re apply. Feminism is getting the best of your reasoning.
Yohami, I’m not sure I get your point. Reverse that how? Like as in to say, if a man told his future wife about his sexual escapades prior to their marriage, would she leave him? That can’t possibly be a serious question. Women expect men will have whored around prior to marriage. Even my extremely religious grandmother knew about my granddad before they married that he was a drunken brawler and a scamp. After marriage, completely different story of course, he was as upright as anyone I’ve ever met. Point being, women don’t even bat an eyelash when men whore… Read more »
@livingtree2013 She feels ashamed by what she did in the past, so much so that it is stifling her ability to even admit that she wants to be sexual! What really angers me is that even now, 60 years after the supposed “sexual revolution”, so many women still feel deeply ashamed about having sexual needs, that they have to cover them up and lie about them. That’s pure conflation. You’re conflating being ashamed of having sexual needs, with being ashamed of sexual deeds. They are night-and-day different things. Shame over choices you made is appropriate and without such shame we… Read more »
Sure, OK you make an interesting point there Jeremy, but I think that more likely than not, the “deed” was committed out of a pre-existing sense of shame, it is exactly what motivated her behavior. Why would she say “I’m a dirty whore” in the video if it wasn’t about shaming? I wouldn’t be even the tiniest bit surprised if before the video was made, she’d already been date-raped, and taken the blame for it, so the experience made her have some deeply suppressed feelings of unworthiness. This chick is messed UP, I’m telling you. What he should do, this… Read more »
Good Lord in Heaven
What a nightmare.
This man chose poorly, overlooked the obvious danger signs and is now suffering the consequences.
Paternity test, divorce, learn and move on. This marriage can never recover
@livingtree2013 I am going to stand on this platform and scream it until you listen. IF YOU WANT TO MARRY SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR PAST HIDDEN FROM, OR THAT YOU HAVE TO SUBJUGATE YOUR NEEDS TO BE WITH, YOU ARE MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE. What is this, are we back to AOL days when caps lock somehow made a point more worthy of listening to? The man was defrauded. The marital commitment is one of committing a lifetime of work, provisioning and protection (for the man) in exchange for reproduction services, sexual services, and feminine support that… Read more »
This post is so raw, touches the bones of my spirit, and justifies every action I have been taking the last 8 years.
Thank you
The anti slut defense is needed, even without a moral or religious reason. A slut is more likely to cheat and trade up or look up for strange, and is more likely to be an immature emotional reck.
For the same reason girls have the anti-player defense when it comes down to relationships.
The difference is that players are usually alphas, thus attractive. While sluts come in any variety.
[…] here at Cigars and Legs don’t usually post relationship style things, but this story about a lying wife just… struck us as odd. That’s […]
@livingtree2013 Great post, Tin Man. I’ve long suspected as much. 🙂 Men try to pretend their all simple and and unaffected and whatever, but I know the truth, they are really very emotionally complex. Probably much more so than women, if the truth were told. You got that men are emotionally complicated creatures from what Tin Man said? Do you only come here to read what you want to think into what other people write? Anti-slut conditioning isn’t really enough to make women not want to have crazy sex. It may actually make them want to have crazy sex even… Read more »
Jeremy if you’re just going to get irate about every controversial comment I make, then we might as well stop talking because you may have already noticed, I am controversial almost all the time, just for the sake of opening up the discussion. I read what you said, I read what everyone here said, I just (like usual) think that we are limiting ourselves to a superficial reading of the situation. People are intricately complex, and that complexity provides endless sources for analysis, if only we are willing to go to that depth. If you don’t want to go there,… Read more »
@LivingTree2013 – Thanks for taking the time to engage (multiple assailants at once, no less!) Frankly, no, it’s not obvious to me at all. Debating gender often falls to these misunderstandings, because men & women have such vastly different experiences of these things. The idea that a woman would act in a completely unrestrained manner with men who don’t care much about her, and deny that to the man who displayed love and sacrifice to her is *completely counter-intuitive* to me. And to be blunt I feel *really bad* for the man in this situation, and a little resentment towards… Read more »
Good morning Roe, I did respond to your last night’s post before I left my desk, but my computer had a meltdown in the process of uploading it. Too bad, it was good (I thought so anyway)… Anyway, the gist of it was, yes, it is completely counter-intuitive, you’re absolutely right. There’s nothing intuitive about that response at all, but there is nothing rational really, at all, about the operation of the human psyche under duress. But that’s my point exactly. I’m adamant that most women/girls really need a large amount of psychiatric assistance, because they really don’t know how… Read more »
He reposted his thread in reddit, and also mentioned he filed for divorce. There was a post on roosh forum about it a week ago. About 60% of the people on reddit thought they were getting trolled with the story, and were angry with him. There was a guy who posted a thread a year ago in a city search forum about how he married a woman and found out she did blowjob trains in college, and how he couldn’t go on. Most of the comments there were angry with him as well, telling him he didn’t deserve her. It’s… Read more »
*sigh* Marriage is a contract, a license must be signed, registered with the state, and there are a myriad number of laws constructed around dissolving it if one or both parties wants out.. Besides a record label contract as a new recording artist, marriage is probably the number one contract that is consistently entered into in bad faith. Yet, somehow, the woman is protected from any and all consequences. She is also not required to have performed her wedding vows at any time during the marriage. Cash and prizes will be awarded regardless of contract fulfillment. This is nothing but… Read more »
[…] Saving the Best. […]
LT,
It would have happened for sure before marriage.
Please reverse the genders in your mind and re apply. Feminism is getting the best of your reasoning.
This poor man never had a marriage. He doesn’t have one now and never will have one with this woman. This woman pulled the ultimate cuntery-of-a-scam on this poor fellow. She willfully used him as a financial-slush-fund to lock in a lifestyle she knows she damn well does not deserve. The baby, if it’s even his, is nothing more than a grappling-hook that she used to secure said funds for squanderous use in a planned future lifestyle (Away from Hubby, back to the boys-in-the-band). It’s all part of her diabolical plan. Don’t be fooled. No woman on earth would keep… Read more »
@livingtree2013 Is that the deal Jeremy? Did they make that deal when they married? I bet no-one ever has that type of understanding when they marry, they just make assumptions. Oh, the list of doomed couples I could list here… That absolutely is the deal. Would you ever stick with a man who would not provide for you even after you shared your bed with him regularly? Of course you wouldn’t. Neither should a man stick with a woman after discovering she was holding out on him. Plus, going back to our last argument, this is exactly why women wanted… Read more »
Arggh, Jeremy I can’t reply to this tonight, I’m going to have to think on this, more than I can offer you tonight. Its late, I’m tired, I’ve barely eaten, I’m frustrated, and there’s a blizzard going on outside. I have to get on the road.
Talk more tomorrow.
Jeremy. I thought long and hard about your statement last night, and after much deliberation I think this IS where we come to the philosophical impasse. “Would you ever stick with a man who would not provide for you even after you shared your bed with him regularly? Of course you wouldn’t.” A statement founded in several incorrect assumptions. Yes actually. I would. Because in the modern world, I am not trading sex for food. We both get sex, we both get food, and we both get a whole lot more too, and with neither of us laboring under the… Read more »
LT,
Shame is at the core of it, I concede you that.
Like everything in feminism, rape explains it all. Do you get a high thinking about it?
@ livingtree2013 Sure, OK you make an interesting point there Jeremy, but I think that more likely than not, the “deed” was committed out of a pre-existing sense of shame, it is exactly what motivated her behavior. Why would she say “I’m a dirty whore” in the video if it wasn’t about shaming?… This chick is messed UP, I’m telling you. You’re creating a distraction again. You’re shifting focus to the woman being messed up and some kind of “victim”. That the woman has issues is not in question, her behavior within a marriage contract is the issue. She lied.… Read more »
This situation is Game Over. Again, it is a contract that was entered into in bad faith, and there are only enforceable benefits for one side.
The emotional contract between spouses….yet again an area where people are lying through their teeth from day one. And again, in this situation, only one spouse can have her desire fulfilled, Beta bucks….the husband can never have his true desire. Ever.
There is no salvaging this marriage, because there has been a Point of No Return discovery.
Another tragic case of a ‘nice guy’ learning the hard way. If he wasn’t getting what he needed from the start, why the hell did he marry her? The sexual history isn’t the primary issue. It’s the lies. She lied about her past. Accused him of being on drugs when he confronted her. What else is she lying about or hasn’t been discovered yet? He needs to get a paternity test immediately. If he didn’t have a kid, I would suggest immediate divorce. No counseling, no trial anything. However, he does, so he has a decision to make. The relationship… Read more »
*If* this is real… then the dude handled it badly by blowing up so quickly. YaReally got it. The right attitude would be nonjudgmental about it at first, hard as it may be. As in: “We should do that, you and me” and see where it goes. Does she change of her own accord, which would validate her story, or does it stay the same? There is a slight chance that she isn’t just lying or not attracted, but honestly felt what made her “slutty” wasn’t the gangbang, but the blowjob and enthusiasm itself, even for one person. So, to… Read more »
I’m guessing that the wife in question was hot and out of the husband’s league. That’s why he’s been afraid to demand better sex all along. If he would have married someone of lower SMV he never would have tolerated the substandard sex. He would have told her gag on his dick or he would leave her. Don’t confuse my theory with the idea that the wife is anything but a horrible woman. Clearly this woman has the moral compass of Satan. All I’m saying is that married men have got to stop treating the women like delicate little flowers.… Read more »
I think that more likely than not, the “deed” was committed out of a pre-existing sense of shame, it is exactly what motivated her behavior. Why would she say “I’m a dirty whore” in the video if it wasn’t about shaming?… Mmmm, yeah, so much shame she held onto the video for 7 years. Why do you suppose that was? One would think that she would never want to be reminded of all that shame and it would’ve prompted her to destroy it a long time ago, but no. Wouldn’t it follow that the last thing any girl concerned with… Read more »
Hey Rollo, that article you wrote about ASD – totally spot on. I was expecting it to be full of typical feminist-blaming bullshit, but I think you at the very least delved into how messy the sexual landscape is for many women, and how not worth it it is for men to get into that sort of mess. I’d almost say that by posting this link as your response, you actually are, perhaps without realizing it, agreeing with the points I made earlier! I’m sure you’ll deny that though, and that’s OK. I get it. Look, just because I don’t… Read more »
@livingtree2013 I don’t know what kind of world you live in, but here in the real world, it is male sexuality that is demonized and female sexuality is seen as empowerment since at least 1960 to present.
Though I agree with the first half of your response. His needs were clearly not being met, and yet he wrongly decided against his own best interest to stay with her for 7 years too long.
@livingtree2013 Jeremy if you’re just going to get irate about every controversial comment I make, then we might as well stop talking because you may have already noticed, I am controversial almost all the time, just for the sake of opening up the discussion. I would go with illogical. People are intricately complex, and that complexity provides endless sources for analysis, if only we are willing to go to that depth. If you don’t want to go there, I can certainly pander to you if you’d prefer. I would like to think that we’d all like to become better at… Read more »
@Jeremy, while I understand your point regarding women’s N count, I really think that the root of that discontent for men is wanting to get the best a woman has to offer sexually. Rollo, I think you’ve nailed it here. Taking it one step further, I think it is connected to the idea of a “fair trade” taking place. In a sense there is no higher compliment or greater gift a man (especially a higher SMV man with options) can give a woman than to make her his wife essentially making the proclamation I choose you over all others and… Read more »
LT,
May I suggest rereading and editing your comments prior to posting them. I honestly cannot follow some of your comments because they are basically a stream of consciousness of non-sequiturs.
@Rollo “I realize how twisted this is going to sound, but I can’t help but wonder if the commonness of situations like this aren’t somehow influencing the increased popularity of internet cuckold porn.” I can tell you from first hand experience that this is EXACTLY what’s increasing the popularity of cuckold porn. I’m ashamed as hell to even admit it, but prior to swallowing the red pill, cuckold porn sucked me in. Shitty sex life with the wife, no physical affection at all, her flirting with my friends, me beta as shit, and before you know it I’m having these… Read more »
Rollo, one of your best. Now I see why you were not so intrigued by my ideas for a new post. Anything that gets a debate going with Deti and YaReally is first rate.
People are intricately complex, and that complexity provides endless sources for analysis, if only we are willing to go to that depth. Meh, not so much,… http://therationalmale.com/2012/11/06/people-are-people/ An integral part of our feminized, equalist conditioning teaches us to reject propositions of ‘human nature’ – really even venturing to guess about it – in favor of a blank slate philosophy. Equalism, the religion of feminism, cannot exist in a world predicated upon even a margin of common influence determined by our biology’s, our evolved psychology, or even evidence of the mechanics which account for that collective influence on human beings. It’s… Read more »
I think that both of them are at fault, although for considerably different reasons, both of which are interesting and worthy of discussing. Why? Because he naively bought the bullshit he was fed for probably decades. Let me tell you something. Most men grow up and most confrontation is physical and direct. Not a lot of men get practice in their teens like women at deception, and playing games, etc. So when a guy hits his 20s he is ill-equipped to either recognize or deal with the sort of Machiavellian fraud many women are capable of with a straight face.… Read more »
Morpheus,
Depending to what’s convenient each time.
LT even tried to make this woman look like the victim – she might have been date raped! so blaming her would be victim blaming.
Even though I know this is how it works it still fries my brain.
Morpheus, how exactly do you see that I am “demonizing” anything said here by Rollo? Where? When? What I have REPEATEDLY SAID here is that I agree with most of what is being discussed here. I’m not quite prepared yet to accept the belief that women could eliminate all their own problems if they would just stop sucking, but it certainly wouldn’t be a bad place to start. Hey, why not give it a try? I advocate for it daily in my own life, just so you know. I know you guys don’t like to hear a woman make excuses… Read more »
@LT “Women are not emotionally complex, they’re just messy, messy from the shit of the world. If there were less shit in the world, or if we could rise above it rather than be brought down so easily by it… well, lets just say this site would have no reason to exist.” There is a subtle different here – and a point that Rollo made in the post, and has made several times, that until I started reading (Manosphere blogs) and learning (about red pill) – I really had not clue – and it why, there are many, many Men… Read more »
“You just got involved with the wrong girl” is just another variation of “Just Be Yourself”
http://therationalmale.com/2012/01/13/just-be-yourself/
It’s what women (and femen) say when they don’t know what else to say.
@livingtree2013 Great post, Tin Man. I’ve long suspected as much. 🙂 Men try to pretend their all simple and and unaffected and whatever, but I know the truth, they are really very emotionally complex. Probably much more so than women, if the truth were told. @Jeremy You got that men are emotionally complicated creatures from what Tin Man said? Do you only come here to read what you want to think into what other people write? I don’t know if that’s what I said or not…but I guess that’s how was interrupted. And to tell you the truth, I’m not… Read more »
@livingtree2013 As long as women always see men as a walking wallet/ATM machine to exploit and dispose, and feminism remains a force of influence over modern social laws and mores, red pill men will always see women as the said disposable commodity you speak of until some sort of social collapse happens and then the real fun begins.
But I do have to say…
Ole LT has gotten the Boys all riled up!! She showed up Rollo’s comments have blown up. And the stars have come out to play!!
Trust me, today’s numbers are less about LT and more about the reddit linkbacks.
@Shaman I find it fascinating that your porn interests warped over time to essentially reflect what your brain perceives as “this is the limit to what I can expect from my sex life” in your reality. I wonder if single guys watch freakier and a wider variety of porn with a wider variety of girls in them than incel marriage guys…and if “reality porn” with average/plain girls tends to be viewed more by guys without game who’s brains tell them that an average looking semi-chubby normal chick is the limit of what they can expect from their sex life. Thanks… Read more »
This is one of the hardest things to swallow about the red pill. I don’t remember which article, but I remember Rollo talking about how men just want somewhere they can relax…but then it turns out that we were fed the lie that once we have a girl who loves us, we can relax with her, and it’s encouraged that we do…except no one told us the truth: that she’ll lose attraction for us. The Game doesn’t end. That’s why it’s all the more important for guys to learn and internalize this shit when they’re young, so by the time… Read more »
@ Morpheus
The movie you’re thinking of is Fireproof
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fireproof_%28film%29
It’s like corporate training for hypergamy.
Take your time LT. I’d rather you think before writing than not.
She’d make a good candidate for cheating on him.
“Unsurprisingly, 81 per cent said that they are more sexually experimental with their lovers than their spouses.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2517624/Would-cheat-husband-wears-socks-sex-The-reasons-women-seeking-affairs-revealed.html
@Shaman – take it over the edge and enjoy it. As you say, she can deal or GTFO. I’m still astonished that you guys are bothering to try and educate that retarded LivingTree. It’s like you haven’t yet figured that anything coming out of a woman’s mouth has only one purpose: to deceive you into her frame. Even when she’s agreeing, especially when she’s arguing, and most especially when she’s trying to achieve a consensus or compromise. The problem when you compromise is that you have walked away from the truth – what is real. You have been lured into… Read more »
My first impression was that LT showed up (again) and the comment section went to shit (again), but it’s just. too. damn. funny. reading the trainwreck.
I salute your comment policy, Rollo.
“Me: I am so fucking lucky. I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.”
I am glad I found sites like these a long time a long time ago, because, Jesus, that could have been me.
Easily.
There is no “Soul Mate”
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm5pf1uRyYE&w=640&h=360]
Aaaaaaaand let’s hear from a professional:
http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/on-a-mountaintop/
LT gets her male attention for the day. @ Jeremy “Yet at the same time the world has changed so much with the advent of female birth control, how do I not demand she put some skin in the game? How does one verify she’s not just going to be holding out on you forever like the poor guy in this post by Rollo, without convincing her to notch an N for your sake?” Birth control is definitely the big game changer. However I still stick with the Bible teaching when it comes to fornication….because that never changes. And by… Read more »
“What really angers me is that even now, 60 years after the supposed “sexual revolution”, so many women still feel deeply ashamed about having sexual needs, that they have to cover them up and lie about them” Hey ho, arse-about-tit as per usual. The reason that women lie about their shagging mileage, so many years after their supposed liberation, is (despite mens’ best efforts to enable their professed desire for independence) because they have money needs, not sex needs. Women have a steely determination to depend on Other Buggers’ Efforts which defies all reason and looks set to continue to… Read more »
“And you need to understand that “whore” is a term that should never, ever be used outside of the bedroom, in any way besides affectionately.”
This could not be more incorrect.
While it behooves men to know the nature of women…it is also wise that IRL they don’t go spreading around they know what women are up to. Unless you enjoy getting into illogical arguments with women who just want your attention.
@nipnup I totally understand it. Your mistake is that you assume every man wants sex and primarily sex. This guy may want a family life more than sex. I actually don’t really like sex much. I like being a husband, dad, having a normal home, family life, normalcy, having a reliable ally type of wife, and generally having a set of duties that give me aim and direction in life. We both are pretty much asexual – see it like bowel movements, a disgusting but necessary function of the body – although managed to do it because we want kids… Read more »
“Long, long way to go and who knows if the marriage will ultimately succeed or not, but the truth is I simply no longer care. I now speak my mind, hold nothing back, piss her off on a daily basis and care less and less whether she gives a shit” It’s a hell of a thing, isn’t it? Counterintuitive as all get out. Sometimes the only way to save a marriage is to stop caring about whether it is salvageable. Sometimes the only way to save a marriage is to stop trying to save it. Sometimes the only way to… Read more »
Counterintuitive is pretty much how you deal with women.
@sunshinemary “Is that really true? Would it really be okay with you to see your hypothetical wife on video doing that kind of thing if she were also happy to do it with you, too?” I’d accept it, to a limit tho. If she enjoyed performing with me as much as on the video, at least she’d be consistent. It might leave a sour taste in my mouth but i accept there is no ‘the one’. Depending on age, i wouldn’t expect who i was with to be sitting in her locked tower waiting for me to one day come… Read more »
Morpheus, 12/3, 11:09 pm Spot on, steel on target. The argument Susan Walsh and like minded women often make is usually something like this: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that you guys were fed a load of BS. But come on, guys! You lived in the real world! You were getting rejected and saw the bad boys and the dickbags getting laid left and right! How come you didn’t figure it out? “You should have ignored everything everyone else was telling you. You should have defied your parents and told them to piss up a rope. You should have deliberately… Read more »
We don’t care about your problems; we care only that you are there to be boyfriends, husbands, packmules and servants for OUR needs, how we need you, when we need you. Deti, I think you just crafted the clearest, most concise definition of the feminine imperative. Sadly, this basically summarizes the HUS “mission” as well. With the new echo chamber of comments, you can actually see this attitude above on full display. I’ve noticed one of her new buzzwords/catch phrases that she likes to use over and over again is “emotional intimacy”. The “good guys” are capable of “emotional intimacy”.… Read more »
The argument Susan Walsh and like minded women often make is usually something like this: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that you guys were fed a load of BS. But come on, guys! You lived in the real world! You were getting rejected and saw the bad boys and the dickbags getting laid left and right! How come you didn’t figure it out? “You should have ignored everything everyone else was telling you. You should have defied your parents and told them to piss up a rope. You should have deliberately disobeyed the authority figures in your life. But hey.… Read more »
@Deti, in other words, you didn’t “Just Get It”
http://therationalmale.com/2012/08/22/just-get-it/
@BlackPoisonSoul
Yes, but understand, LivingTree doesn’t understand that that’s her own purpose. She believes she’s being rational.
I was actually more shocked that Kate thought LT had valid points than anything else.
“What gets me is many women, such as yourself or someone like Aunt Giggles (see Deti’s comment) want to blame the guy when he selects a woman of “bad character”yet at the same time demonize Rollo and what he is trying to do here in shining a spotlight on all the various things women are capable of. Many women want to simultaneously keep men in the dark about various aspects of female nature and psychology, yet also hold him partially responsible in situations like this when he didn’t know any better.”
Exactly right.
Is that really true? Would it really be okay with you to see your hypothetical wife on video doing that kind of thing if she were also happy to do it with you, too? No. Some guys may say that they wouldn’t care, but that’s simply not true. Men are visual, and the shock of seeing her not only doing it, but enjoying it(which is where the real pain comes from for men), would be something that you would never get past. Even if she did it with you, you’d never be able to get rid of the nagging questions…..what… Read more »
This is just a lazy shlub who never wanted to face reality. I feel bad for him on a personal level because this is a heartbreaking situation. However, with so many clear red flags in prior behavior, the only lesson we should draw is to take life seriously and not settle for anything except what we really want. The woman is just a disingenuous bitch, but the reason we have a victim is because he willingly let himself become one. Otherwise, she would be trolling for a different sucker.
@ Rollo
“LT will never appreciate the red pill perspective because her life’s conditioning has been one of denying the evolved psychology, biological predispositions and hardwired neurological vestiges that influences human behavior today.”
CH’s post yesterday on brain pattern science must have sent her over the edge.
It’s probably too late for this marriage, but this may help the guy in the future: http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339 I feel bad for the guy and even worse for the daughter. However, he is an example of the pathology of the ‘Nice Guy’ that infects so many men in the world. It is the nice guys that are the betas in the ‘beta bucks’ side of the equation. Most of the white knights in the world are also nice guys. It is a disease that enables much of the bad behavior of women, and it is the nice guys/betas that financially support… Read more »
@earl And how does one verify…well how much does she try to paw at you when she gets the chance…or pursue you…or do things for you. You don’t need to have sex before marriage to see how much she desires you. I’d rather leave God’s commandments out of this, if only because Rollo and others have outlined perfectly valid reasons for women to want to protect their virginity even if religion never existed. I would say that that is not verification. I’ve actually witnessed friends *and* family fall prey to women who were extraordinarily “hot-to-trot” (but chaste) while dating, only… Read more »
It’s obvious the guy in the story fell in love with her and did the ‘feminine imperative’, feminist approved right thing to do every step of the way.. Not press for her for the sex he wanted Not be a dick and respect her boundaries To repress his beastly sexual oppression of wanting her to give him a blowjob.. that animal To accept her ‘as she is’, faults and all Respect her needs and wishes What kind of sick twisted fuck are you to think of NEXTing such a wonderful woman because she won’t sex you up like you want… Read more »
Jeremey said:
“I’ve actually witnessed friends *and* family fall prey to women who were extraordinarily “hot-to-trot” (but chaste) while dating, only to turn into icebergs after marriage. My brother had this happen to him with his first wife, she was totally eager to engage in everything up to the deed before, but when married they had sex like twice a year or some such.”
And they say guys who use game to trick a women into bed are manipulative…
@New Yorker I tend to agree. Being blind and unaware of your surroundings is not the mark of a victim, it the mark the next antelope that kills. There are not victims, we are the makers of our lives – that is first thing this Man will have to realize. It was his choice to first date then marry this woman – from what I can gather, this was not an arranged marriage – there were no guns pointed at his head. It was still a choice. Once again, this should be a cautionary tale to any Man that is… Read more »
The good news is they divorced about as amicably as you’ve ever seen. No kids, assets split down the middle, no alimony. He still lost out on the deal, because he paid for her degree in accounting.
I think people are forgetting the volatility of a woman’s own desires. This guy did the Alpha thing (mostly) and flat out confronted her on her prudish behavior. However, desiring a woman to want to do those things should be of no consequence to him. I know it seems like he’d be using her and that she’d be doing it out of fear. But eventually that fear will subside and as long as she keeps on doing those things with him in the process, she will want to do it. Right now, this man is choking on the Red Pill… Read more »
@Deti… Yes, counterintuitive and 180 degrees different than everything I was told when being raised by a single mom (absent beta father) about being a “nice boy.” Intriguingly, I had my alpha and beta days growing up. Alpha always worked and got me laid, beta never worked and got me dumped or LJBF’d. You think I would have internalized the results and opted for alpha but the feminist imperative/feminist conditioning was THAT strong. @Redpillsetmefree “In terms of cuckold porn, that has to be filed under the heading of, ‘Good Fantasy, Bad Reality.’ It’s something that guys just think would be… Read more »
Jack Schitz
December 3rd, 2013 at 4:15 pm
Not a smart move. This whore is still his daughter’s mother. Wouldn’t want to do that to my kid.
@swiftfoxmark2 However, desiring a woman to want to do those things should be of no consequence to him. I know it seems like he’d be using her and that she’d be doing it out of fear. But eventually that fear will subside and as long as she keeps on doing those things with him in the process, she will want to do it. He was led to believe that she loved him. He was led to believe that she simply couldn’t stomach (swallow?) those extra activities that he wanted to do, but still loved him regardless. He then discovered a… Read more »
@Shaman I never thought of it as “good fantasy”. It’s not even that I thought it would be fun or enjoyable. And it wasn’t something I ever wanted to really try…ever. Best as I can deconstruct it, it was the eroticization of shame pure and simple — the subconscious shame I felt as a consequence of pedestalizing women and still being walked all over by them. The shame eventually sought an erotic outlet until I realized what was causing it. I can almost guarantee that men who have cuckold or “hot wife” fantasies are dealing with huge degrees of shame… Read more »
When you think about it, isn’t all porn really ‘cuckold’ porn?
Then it seems the fastest way to hell for a man is through a woman.
“I think at a certain age it is damn near impossible to make sense of something when what you think you are observing as reality is at complete odds with a message that is being delivered repeatedly from all different directions and sources of “authority”.” Yes, exactly. Because what you are seeing is something you have no real world experience with until it happens. Then you have your parents and “authorities” telling you that what you’re seeing is not really what you’re seeing; but instead is something else entirely: “Those girls are just stupid.” “You’re obviously not being nice enough.”… Read more »
I am actually shocked at how many posters here are talking about fixing it for two simple reasons…. 1. For the marriage. 2. For the child. Number one is just bunk. Marriage doesn’t mean $hit anymore. Wives get married at 30 when they are done wh0ring around, divorce 50% of the time and men get cleaned out. Now tell me, why should a man have to sacrifice and pay the bill due for the awful decisions made by a wh0re, all for the sake of “marriage”? Seriously? Listen up fellas, society doesn’t respect marriage, women don’t respect marriage, and YOU… Read more »
@Morpheus: “The “good guys” are capable of “emotional intimacy”. What becomes clear though is she is absolutely clueless what this means from a male perspective in terms of expectations. Emotional intimacy is a one-way street flowing from the guy to the woman.” Blue pill/HUS “emotional intimacy” appears to mean “he gives me what I want and he just knows what I want and need when I want and need it”. “whatever I want it to mean at that moment in time”. See, this I think is what Badger and others mean when they talk about how feminism and the current… Read more »
Well, some porn is pure animation, not sure how I could squeeze that into being cuckold since the “actors” don’t exist.
After seeing all this worthless back and forth with LT I came to realize it doesnt matter. I dont care if a woman, or women in general, can sympathize or not with this guys feelings. Its an interest exercise but pushing it is pointless. This is how men feel and its not going to change. The reasons and whys men feel this way are out there to explore, if any woman wants to understand these things, but really, it doesnt matter. Bottom line, if the genders were reversed and the story would be told from the perspective of a woman,… Read more »
But fuck it. End of pointless trying to get a woman “understand” which is more like dialectical raping a snake of smoke and mirrors.
This is how men feel, it doesnt need any woman or political faction to be validated. Instead use that information for your own benefit or ignore it for your own detriment.
Amen.
Recently the Canadian newspaper National Post asked readers to send letters on the topic: What invention has benefited you the most? Most were obvious like the printing press, airplanes, the Internet, flush toilets etc. Here is a slightly different one: “The world as learned more in the past 10 years about female sexuality than in the previous 10,000 due to the complementary metal-oxide-semiconductor (CMOS) technology found in cameras and cell phones. Without it, we would all be back in the dark ages where women were as mysterious as the stars.” This was printed in one of Canada’s two national newspapers!… Read more »
I went through nearly the same shit that man did, and I can feel the intense pain he’s going through. Same thing, wife very cold and withheld sex, but she did have multiple affairs at the end of the marriage. It’s a bitter pill to swallow when you realize you were a sucker beta provider. I quickly hired an attorney, divorced her, and have joint custody. I came out OK on the settlement, too. Learned some game, and I’m now enjoying bachelorhood. This is what would happen if he tried to work it out – He would hold in that… Read more »
That’s why people married early before, and by early I mean not after teens. Human beings feel the urge to mate since very young (is an hypocrisy to ignore it). And by marrying young we were forced to mature and develop our abilities to survive. A way better way to grow compared to the common traumatic lifes of the pregnant teenagers. Thats how financial empires were build, from a solid family working together, the their children inherit it and continue to build it through generations of work and emotional stability (and thats one of the reason ‘you-know-who’ invest so much… Read more »
Do you fellows fall for every hoax, or just the sex fantasies in which you detect a potential “teaching moment”? This “confession” screams cuckold slutwife sex fantasy. The woman’s psychology is inconsistent and sounds like it was fabricated by a man who has watched too much porn. The kind of woman who would subject herself to a videotaped gang bang, while seemingly common to a certain species of internet denizen addicted to prurience, is actually a deeply disturbed and rare female. You skip over probabilities in haste to make your academic points about the nature of women. He “stumbled” upon… Read more »
Yet you get all these people saying there’s nothing wrong with her behavior and telling him to man up.
@ Matt King, None of us can be certain about the veracity of the story. That said, I don’t think your reasoning that it is an “obvious” fake has any validity. I’d point you to this post from Badger: http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2013/11/04/unbelievable/ Danger&Play recently posted a fantastic tweet that mirrored the subtext of some of his game-centric posts: “At some point in the game, your stories shouldn’t even sound believable to regular people. That’s how awesome being alive today is.” I’ve had a couple of game-oriented friends whose exploits were really unbelievable, and I wouldn’t have bought it had I not been there or… Read more »
@Matt, http://therationalmale.com/2013/03/19/quality-women/ Back when he had a terrestrial radio show Tom Leykis did a topic about this: He had everyday women call in and tell their stories of how they used to be sexually (i.e. slutty) and how they are now. He came up with this after driving past a grade school on his way to the studio and seeing all of the women there waiting for their kids to come out and wondered about what their lives used to be like in their childless 20s. This was a wildly popular topic and the confessions just poured in like all… Read more »
Lol, busted. This is the most dramatic, most horrifying, hilarious and tragic busted story ever. Loving all the manginas immediately calling her actions a result of rape or sexual abuse. Even when she never mentioned any rape or abuse herself (and kept the rape tape around). Don’t worry, regretful liars, even if you forget to accuse someone of rape, the caring manginas will do it for you.
Also, funny how livingtree was berating the guy in capslock and the culture the most, while criticism of the wife is more like an afterthought.
@Matt He “stumbled” upon her video after seven years? She betrayed absolutely no signs of her extreme, abject depravity for that entire time but rather erased it from her psyche altogether and, in fact, somehow achieved the absolute opposite: unhealthy marital prudishness? This only happens on porn sets and in fapper fantasies. And if it ever were to happen in real life, it would be so anomalous that it would be an exception proving the rule. Actually, no, you’re wrong. It happens all the time. There are multiple women I know personally who have extraordinarily depraved sex lives from when… Read more »
I’ve personally counseled at least 4 men IRL and 3 online relating almost identical variations of this story.
The only way to save a marriage like this is to completely destroy the marriage that existed before, and rebuild it from the ground up. A few caveats: 1. She has to agree to every condition you set, without fail and without even the slightest deviation. This is nonnegotiable. 2. Sex on demand. Also nonnegotiable. 3. It requires constant vigilance. You have to absolutely crush disrespect. You have to be willing and able to run some decent asshole game; and graduate to full on Dread if necessary. 4. Forget about the niceguy, relaxation you used to have in your marriage… Read more »
Matt King: Sorry, I’m with Jeremy, Morpheus and Yohami on this one. The story might be embellished, but I can tell you that similar things like this happen all the time. I know it first hand, as anyone familiar with my commentary can attest. My wife lied about her N before we married and became a sexual prude. The exchanges we had about those discussions went down in similar fashion: -truth emerges -confrontation -confession -rationalization, justification, explanation –“don’t you judge me” “you did it too” “It’s in the past it doesn’t matter” -crying, weeping, begging, pleading “I’ll do whatever you… Read more »
@Deti,
Sure, it *could* be saved if all those things were done. But the average blue-balled, blue-pilled beta male is not in the right state of mind to even conceive of how those things help him. It has to be better to blow up the marriage, take the lumps, learn the hard lessons, and find something better.
Jeremy:
Only reason to do any of that stuff I listed above is if kids are involved. There is in this situation.
@Rollo Tomassi
Sounds like you’ve got quite a collection of cuckold porn stacking up there…
@Jeremy I hear what you’re saying. He could just be alpha and disregard her feelings entirely, but that is not the life he committed to. I didn’t mean for him to disregard her feelings. He did that already. I’m saying he needs to disregard his own and stop whining. Sure, he has every right to mourn the past seven years of his life he’s wasted with this prudish whore, but mourning is process that can be done with in a few days. After that, he needs to take action and either make his marriage better or, if she has been… Read more »
[…] My new book is a textbook. Every page offers specific actionable advice for what to say and do while interacting with a woman you’re trying to seduce. To adequately convey this advice I need to bring my poor reader up to speed on key concepts and mindsets so I’ve been writing little “box out” sections as tangents to the body of the text. During my chapter on “daygame is dirty” I go into detail about the female’s dualist sexual strategy: […]
“I believe there is a very primal aspect to female sexuality that under the right circumstances can be unleashed.” Yes there is. I’ve long said: Right man, right time, right circumstances, low risk of detection, and many married women will cheat. I’ve heard too many stories from bartenders and bouncers talking about seeing married women slut it up at bars on girls nights out to believe otherwise. I’ve seen too many married women sloshed on rum and Cokes and hanging all over some old flame at a high school reunion to believe otherwise. I’ve heard too many women confess to… Read more »
@swiftfoxmark2
This is like saying that because you’ve never seen an alcoholic drink in public for 7 years, that they’ve never had a drop in that span. Most alcoholics are experts at hiding their problem, and remaining functional despite their issue. Can you honestly say you suspect this woman has not cheated on him just because she hasn’t been putting out for him? Isn’t that like saying, “Well shit, this house is dry, there’s no way that alchy has been drinking whisky!”
@Jeremy “women’s biggest beef with porn is the “objectification of women”. But if actually know porn, in most porn ever made, the woman is usually shown head-to-butt in frame, she’s usually front-and-center and the center of the action. In contrast, the man is usually represented only by his genitalia, the rest of him being off-frame. So, who exactly is being objectified?” The book “A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships” has an interesting treatment of this phenomena. The researchers concluded that men’s sexual arousal is primarily visual and women’s is primarily mental — so we… Read more »
Let’s drill down into this… I want to hear some theories on WHY the woman in the story enjoyed being a “filthy whore” so much… “In the video she has anal sex, oral sex, gets double teamed, and yells multiple times in the video she is a “I am a filthy whore.” All of it she was enthusiastic about it.” -OP “As f-ed up as it sounds, if he had slapped her during that conversation, he might have started the tinglings of the attraction that he never aroused in her before” -Jeremy “If he wants a whore for a wife,… Read more »
But why, as it appears, do the same women, on some level or at some point in their lives, want to be treated as – and think of themselves as – filthy whores? For some reason, people can’t seem to grasp that just because a woman’s triggers are different than a man’s, that she wouldn’t want nasty, dirty, swarthy, slimy sexual experiences just like men do. At some level, and I’ll have to study it out to find if my theory is true, I suspect it has something to do with the pedestalization of European females in the West. That… Read more »