All In

I can remember reading with great interest the particulars of Tiger Woods’ affairs when they went public. Considering his talent and drive I had always thought he’d cashed in far too early by marrying his Swedish model, but this woman represented the feminine archetype most men idealize for most of their lives. When the unattainable becomes attainable for a man so deprived, he tends to look past anything but his most immediate gratification.

However, Tiger was following a common script for beta men, and just this weekend a new example of this script has been illustrated for us in the resignation of General David Petraeus. Petraeus’ story is a classic tale of when youthful beta idealism, an almost self-affirming obliviousness of the SMP, and a Contextual Alpha status run headlong into the realities of our contemporary sexual marketplace and the brave new world of a fem-centric society.

Understandably most of the media concern about Petraeus revolves around the political implications of his resignation as CIA director, but there’s much more ‘under the hood’ here with respect to how he came to resign. For the breakdown have a read here for the timeline of events.

First and foremost, Petraeus is a beta. I realize that’s going to come off as presumptuous on my part, and possibly offensive, but I’m making this assessment based on history and behaviors here.

Disgraced former CIA Director David Petraeus exchanged a sexually explicit email about having sex under a desk with his mistress and continued to pursue her by bombarding her with thousands of messages even after she had broken off the affair it has been revealed.

I have no doubt that manosphere readers subscribing to the “Leaders of Men” definition of Alpha will have their rationales about how Petraeus was never really Alpha, or his actions prove his betaness, but his story follows a common pattern for betas in a feminized social structure. He married his idyllic ‘high school sweetheart’ and launched his military career. Only later in life does he become aware of his true SMV as his wife’s nose-dives after hitting the wall. After his contextual Alpha status has been established he begins to come to awareness of his now matured SMV, and a flirty, subjectively attractive, late 30s PhD looks a whole lot better than clinging to the idealism that’s kept him unaware of how the SMP really works.

For young idealistic betas, the fairytale scenario of marrying the ‘girl of your dreams’ out of high school (college?) seems perfect. If you need a musical example of this, listen to any Taylor Swift song or ‘Hey there Delilah’ by the Plain White T’s. The idea of only ever having sex with that one special girl, that “genetic celebrity”, only reinforces the fantasy for a young beta who’s never gotten laid before. At 17-19 this seems like conviction, but 37 years later, and after realizing his true SMV it’s a liability; it’s a sacrifice that cannot be appreciated.

The cruel hoax is then revealed once a man becomes established in his personality, his career, his maturation and mastery of his particular elements. His achievements are commonplace to the wife he’s been with for decades, but they’re a wellspring of attraction and arousal for women unfamiliar with how he achieved them. As I outlined in Navigating the SMP, there comes a point (usually by his early 30s) that a man, at least should, become aware of his higher sexual market value while realizing the SMV declination of the woman he’s committed himself to. He starts to see the code in the Matrix, and the long term wisdom, or lack of wisdom, his youthful idealism led him to.

The Status-to-Marriage Failsafe

As I stated though, a man should become more aware of his higher SMV as he matures. For some, this is an internalized, subconscious acknowledgement –it’s something a man knows, but either hasn’t the reason or the opportunity to act upon it. For other men it may be a more overt acknowledgement, one useful in prompting dread or reigniting competition anxiety in women. Still for others, such as Petraeus, the acknowledgement doesn’t really come until the right opportunity to address it comes along. In this case in the form of Paula Broadwell.

One societal fail-safe against this inevitable male SMV awareness the feminine imperative has established for women comes in tying a man’s status to his degree of commitment to his wife. For as accomplished and determined a man is, for as lofty as his achievements may be, in girl-world none of that matters unless it directly benefits a woman he’s committed to in an enduring security. Beyond the obvious financial imbalances written into our contemporary divorce laws, there is the societal aspect that accompanies a man’s ‘downfall’ when he cheats on his wife. Tiger Woods could weather the cash & prizes settlement of his divorce, but what he couldn’t weather was the hit to his reputation. His status, his personal perception, was damaged as a result of his breach of contract. Similarly Petraeus, a General with the distinction of a storied military career and directorship of the CIA had his status diminished as a result of this status-to-marriage association.

To further complicate matters Petraeus himself ‘believes’ in this status association so strongly that he was willing to resign his position – relinquishing the source of status that made him attractive to the likes of Broadwell – in order to comply with it.

Back to Beta

Petraeus’ story of beta doesn’t end here. As his relationship with Broadwell decayed we can see further evidence of reverting to beta in his ‘thousands of emails’ to her. As with most people reinserted into the SMP after having married in their youth, Petraeus reverts back to the only social skill set he knew when he was dating his wife – an adolescent social skill set. So the beta desperation comes back strong. For all of his post-revelation posturing about how “We all will make mistakes. The key is to recognize them and admit them, to learn from them, and to take off the rear view mirrors – drive on and avoid making them again.” Petraeus literally made thousands of them. Like any desperate beta I’ve consulted with, he ‘wants his girlfriend baaaaack’ and so, like a teenage boy, inundates her with a barrage of emails over the course of months – not unlike the battery of texts Tiger Woods sent to his mistresses.

I often get criticism for suggesting men ‘explore their options’ in their 20’s. Spin Plates, learn Game, understand the intricacies of how a feminized acculturation has crafted men to be what the imperative would have them be. The idealistic zeal of young men is admirable, (it’s what makes us men) but it’s important to take a long-view of how that idealism is useful to a feminized society. Have a look at the context and reporters uncovering this story. There is no male perspective, there is no male insight, only the reactions of a female perspective in accordance with the feminine specific understanding of the SMV and the social failsafes instituted by fem-centrism.

The set of convictions idealistic young men cling to today aren’t what they believe they are. Your ideal of a “quality woman”, you’re grandfather’s high school sweetheart who was your grandmother are useful archetypes that the imperative is more than happy to have you delude yourself with. There may have been a time when that idealism meant something, but it’s important to understand that it is now a tool of a feminine-primary acculturation.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

127 comments on “All In

  1. “After his contextual Alpha status has been established he begins to come to awareness of his now matured SMV, and a flirty, subjectively attractive, late 30s PhD looks a whole lot better than clinging to the idealism that’s kept him unaware of how the SMP really works.”

    Especially with his biographer. Seems to have been quite a few examples of recent time in men cheating on their wives with them… a lot of alone time access and as they become the woman’s whole world, it’s not surprising that she’d become obsessed with him and things happen……

  2. Bob, you were writing about how a masculine thinking style is capable of high level abstraction and detailed big picture conceptualization, while feminine women have next to no big picture conceptual ability.

    You really need to understand how a girl experiences the world in her everyday life. You must understand that the way you see and understand the world is specifically masculine (unless you’re a girl or a feminine man). You must understand this crucial difference, and cultivate it. You’ll swallow the red pill the day you fully comprehend and embrace your own masculinity.

    I’ve written a few posts recently about the Men Going Their Own Way guys over at a mgtowforum. My take is that some guys developed in a tesosterone poor and estrogen high womb, and now have effeminate brains, lacking in masculine abilities of thought. On top of that they grow up to have extremely low testosterone, and so have unusually low sex drives. I made 4 or 5 posts about them recently. They are a freaky bunch, over at that forum. See if you don’t agree with my premise of hormones affecting their sexual (or non-sexual) choices and affecting their sexual abilities. It seems to me that grass eaters are totally fucked, in the sexual marketplace.

  3. Comment in moderation because of many links to my blog, but Bob, I’ve been having similar thoughts about masculine vs feminine thinking styles, and wrote some posts recently about how some MGTOW guys have very feminine brains, and speculated about testosterone levels during development in the womb, and as adults.

  4. Beta. No need to argue this. Look at his wife. If you are an Alpha would you allow such a slide in your spouse? Heck no, you’d be pushing her into the gym, getting her to run with you. Would you be so played by a ManJaw writer? It’s simple, Petraeus got duped. I’m in a position where I have lots of underling females that look up to me. Same thing, it’s at my place of employment. To get some there is career suicide. We’ve all seen it. Petraeus just did it on a national scene. Sure plenty of women will spread their legs for what they see as powerful men. Selection of who you seduce is in my eyes part of Alpha. Banging a chick with a husband, while your old wife sits at home? Razor thin margin on calling that Alpha or Beta, but in my eyes its Beta. Divorce your old hag of a wife, get your interested party to do same, then jet off to Costa Rica…now that’s Alpha.

  5. “Further, Fox News confirms that the FBI agent who originally spurred the Petraeus investigation was taken off the case because authorities grew concerned about his relationship with Kelley. Kelley had alerted this agent to her concerns about the harassing emails from the start, but the agent was removed from the case over the summer because of his behavior, which included sending shirtless photos of himself to Kelley. He now faces an internal investigation.”


  6. If Petraeus was such a beta weakling at heart, how could he accidentally induce a high-quality woman like Broadwell to betray her “contextual alpha” husband

    because she’s not a high quality woman. she is, for all intents and purposes, a high quality man.

  7. This is a fine piece of work, sir. Really well written, and much appreciated.

    There’s something that bugs me, though, and you can probably guess what it is: Patreus is a highly decorated military man, with combat tour stripes all the way up his arm. A “leader of men” as a result of brave accomplishments. He is Alpha, by your definition: “you are not Alpha because of your achievements, you have your achievements because you are Alpha.” Yet, he is, in the end, or in the beginning, or now, Beta. The concept of contextual Alpha seems an easy out. Alpha behavior may get a man in jail, but in Jail, he may become somebody’s Bitch. There is no “total” Alpha. There is no “Corey.” He was just a guy who happened to make a party and respond with youthful arrogance. We will never know what he’ll become 10 years from now, and then 10 years after that. As it is in the Animal Kingdom, Alpha is a merely a temporary state, subject to tests, and in the case of Patreus, as is the case in the Animal Kingdom, you are immediately stripped of that status with a single failure.

  8. Guy’s a bureaucrat. Married into the aristocracy.
    Had a glittering career, implementing the decisions of others, under strict supervision.
    Sure he wielded unimaginable power.
    So did the Emperor’s Chief Eunuch, compared to say, Spartacus.

  9. @Aleph…

    Ever heard of the concept…kitty kats kompete. She was trying to do the same thing the other manjaw was trying to do. But I guarentee you if she got Petraeus…he would of sent her thousands of emails.

    Beta is a mindset…he was alpha in stature.

  10. Robert wrote:

    Yup. Honeymoon bed. All that conquering and rapine, and he still couldn’t Game her pants off.

    Brush up your history before you make a comment. Read the story of Honoria and Attila and get back to me about what a beta he was.

    Now Attila the fucking Hun is a betamale according to game logic. You are becoming a parody of yourselves.


  11. Rollo snarked:

    Matt King’s absence noted without comment.

    What absence would that be? Correcting your errors is not my favorite pastime. I do what I can, when I’m inclined to.

    I see nothing in your doubling down on precipitate innuendo that requires further debunking. Confirmation bias’s gonna confirm bias.

    You mock the idea of alpha as “Leader of Men®” as if that were some erroneous and competing definition of the term rather than the original and more precise meaning before gameboys claimed the word for themselves to turn it on its head.

    The affair simply would not have happened if the general’s alpha cred did not precede him. If he were the beta herb from the suburbs you claim him to be, the vivacious woman 20-years his junior would have no interest in him. Your reading schlubbiness into his persona is pure conjecture backed up by nothing. While you’re trolling the tabloids for increasingly sparse confirmation of bias, pause to consider that sexual addiction/exploitation is not the most reliable indicator of alpha, particularly in a world of easy panty-droppers.

    You live in your alternative universe only selectively. How is an alpha general supposed to act? Is he to “maintain a harem” while leading the surge forces in Iraq? Was he supposed to “keep a couple in the kitty” while undergoing DCI confirmation hearings? Kick his old helpmeet out on her ass for a series of trophy wives?

    You read your small ambitions into the lives of great men and expect us not to notice. Granted, plenty of your fans do not have the wherewithal to determine when you’ve taken your pet theories entirely too far, even to absurd lengths. I am not one of them.

    The first rule of maintaining solid theory is to acknowledge its limits. Game is a skeleton key that unlocks many doors, but not every door. Intellectual modesty is the watchword here, or you will make a shambles of your legitimate observations by tying them to conjectures that make a mockery of your entire project.


  12. taterearl writes:

    Beta is a mindset…he was alpha in stature.

    The “alpha in stature” defines the alpha mindset. Men do not/cannot attain the stature through a beta mindset. If they did, it would ipso facto become the alpha mindset.

    You have reverse engineered the process to confirm a theory that is notable by its inflexibility and goes against every piece of incontrovertible evidence that indicates Petraeus’s alpha, preferring rumor to fact.


  13. So, no comment on Petraeus’ and Allen’s white knighting influence to overturn custody of a child from his father to a woman the judge described thusly:

    The generals’ letters to the court — written in the past two months — supported a motion to overturn a ruling made nearly a year earlier by a judge who resoundingly denied custody to Khawam, because of serious reservations about her honesty and mental stability, court records show.

    The father, Grayson Wolfe, was unable to see the child for more than a year, according to court documents. The judge overseeing the case cited Khawam with “outrageous conduct,” “bad faith litigation tactics,” and “illogical thinking,” awarding full custody to the father and socking the mom with $350,000 in legal fees in 2011.

    The judge gave Wolfe sole custody of the couple’s son after finding that Khawam, a lawyer, repeatedly lied under oath and filed bogus domestic-violence and child-abuse claims against her husband after their one-year marriage began crumbling in 2009.

    That judge also found that Khawam routinely defied court orders to let the child see his dad and sent harassing e-mails to Wolfe’s friends and business partners that “excoriated Mr. Wolfe for being a horrible father and husband.”
    The judge blasted Khawam for giving false evidence, and noted that a court-ordered shrink had found her domestic-violence allegations to be “part of an ever-expanding set of sensational accusations . . . that are so numerous, so extraordinary and [so] distorted that they defy any common-sense view of reality.”

    The judge also noted that she “is a psychologically unstable person.”

    I dunno Matt, deliberate actions like this read to me a lot more like extreme Beta supplication and a lot less like ‘Leaders of Men’, but maybe you know something I don’t?

    And for the record, as you well know from all your PUA crticism, Alpha cred can be an easily simulated front. Many a disappointed girl after her first ONS can attest to that.

  14. Matt seems to agree with the alpha/beta terminology when it fits his right wing republican view points.

    I have seen him refer to the President of the United States Barak Obama as a beta. A man that is infinitely more masculine and suave than a thousand Peteraus’.

    Petreaus is a nerd general, plain and simple. He has the X and Os down pat but he is (beta, dweeb, whatever fuck you want to call it) when it comes to acting in an instinctively masculine manner.

    If Petreaus was a liberal democrat Matt would be in total agreement of the assessment of Gen P. being an uber beta male.

  15. It seems to me you two squabbling boys are simply disagreeing over the definition, or definitions, of that unfortunately chosen word ‘alpha.’

    Remember what happened to Mystery once? In the middle of getting his professional PUA career going, when he was already a bona fide seducer and proven quantity as a man who could talk his way into bed with beautiful women, he had a complete oneitis breakdown over a woman. It’s all documented in Neil Strauss’ book.

    Clearly this alpha/non-alpha thing can be rather complicated at times.

    According to one given definition of alpha, Petraeus is it. He drove his way straight to the top of the heap by sheer ability, determination, earned respect, and proven results. As a man among the men of his society/culture/subculture/what have you, he has few peers.

    According to another definition of alpha, the one limiting itself to strictly enumerating the numbers of hot women who would potentially be willing to sleep with him, anyone with sufficient post Red-pill education can see that he passes with flying colors.

    But it seems you two (among others) manage to pass or fail Petraeus according to yet other definitions of alpha, which, as far as I can tell, involve the degree to which one plays along with moral codes of various kinds. Rollo is disappointed because Petraeus has a Mystery-style oneitis breakdown once in his life, thereby proving somehow that he always was a beta and always will be. Matt of course is off in his supreme-deity fantasy which has its own set of rules and thus generates its own definitions.

    The fact is, because of this definition problem concerning ‘alpha’, you are both entirely correct, or entirely incorrect, or partially correct, because you are seeing it all through your own definitions and terms. You might as well argue over what is the best music.

  16. It might be helpful if, every time a discussion involving ‘who’s alpha’ like this emerges, the poster or commenter includes a link to his preferred definition of ‘alpha’, or otherwise clearly defines his terms.

  17. Rollo wrote:

    So, no comment on Petraeus’ and Allen’s white knighting ….?

    I in fact have no comment. You know why? It’s not because I don’t have my criticism of Petraeus. He is lacking in many ways.

    The reason why I don’t care and you do is because you have a bloodhound’s sniff for this kind of irrelevant trivia, seeking as you are to fit pieces of evidence into a prefabricated theory, regardless of the quality of that evidence, regardless of the weakness of that theory.

    This was never about making Petraeus out to be the ideal incarnation of the Alpha Male. It was about criticizing your attempt to force-fit a square peg of game theory into a set of circumstances that simply have nothing to do with the pick-up arts.

    There are no lessons to be learned for the rising chump here. The ambitious beta seeking alphatude has no frame of reference for the life a man like David Petraeus leads, and neither do you, nor will you ever. His decision to fuck an aggressive girl two decades his junior right after becoming DCI cannot be reinterpreted to apply to a herbly middle-aged student of yours wondering how to bang the intermittently flirtatious Marge from HR.

    What can be learned from distant examples like these — rather than your much more relevant first-hand experiences — is the general nature of alpha. But that would require an in-depth study of the man in full and his journey to preeminence rather than a couple snarky comments based on unsourced rumors from a narrow slice of his sexual life.


  18. FuriousFerret wrote:

    Matt seems to agree with the alpha/beta terminology when it fits his right wing republican view points.

    I have seen him refer to the President of the United States Barak Obama as a beta. A man that is infinitely more masculine and suave than a thousand Peteraus’.

    So clever. Everything is just a reflection of ideology. “The personal is the political.”

    When I see beta behavior in front of my eyes, I call it out. When a rise to leadership is based on competition and self-initiative, rather than passively benefiting from a wave of racial condescension, I take that into account. I might even consider that one man has personally led other men into combat, rallied them, and gained the sufficient respect of them to attain victory, while the other publicly moped about himself clear into his thirties, married a sassy battle ax, and appeared at the right place at the right time to rapidly gain a string of positions he did not appreciably earn.

    But that’s all beside the point.

    The point is, alpha is defined by one’s capacity to personally lead other men. Maybe there are metrics here and there that are for and against one’s alpha aura. But for the game community to actively discount these classic qualities in favor of promoting pussy management is the guppy swallowing the whale. And this foundational distortion will skew their derivative theories in ways they do not notice or feel the need to adjust for.

    Pick up arts are about imitating the alpha to get the kind of pussy only an alpha can get. Cheers to that! After a century of estrogen injections, men need to taste the primal thrill of the conquering again, and the sexual market place in an age of sluts is an overstocked hunting ground, the nearest place to accomplish that thrill most easily.

    But the counsel to mimic the alpha for the purposes of attaining one specific result (notches) diverges from the project of becoming alpha. For one, the latter requires a definition of the goal that is more than the attainment of perpetual vaginal friction. Otherwise one confuses a side effect for the main cause, mimicry for the genuine article.

    The idea that a general like Petraeus has something important to learn about women from the likes of Neil Strauss or Erik von Markovik is more than asinine: it is positively destructive to the latter’s far more limited mission. Once the idea that success in picking up eager, drunk coeds can translate one-to-one into other realms of success, the PUA oversteps his limits and unwittingly makes an idiot of himself.

    I gamed a thousand women, therefore I can tell you how a DCI is supposed to handle adultery is like saying I shucked a thousand ears of corn, therefore I can tell you all about intercontinental fusion cuisine. Stay focused on what you know and your advice will remain solid. Stray, and beclown yourself without even realizing it.


  19. I’m a hopeless romantic but even I know that lifelong monogamy is not natural for many people. Open marriage peeps, open marriage. For the sake of the kids!

  20. Pingback: Too Hot «

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