Girl’s Night Out

A Girl’s Night Out

I’ve been dating this girl for about 5 months now. She’s very attractive, I’d say an HB7 or 8. Her interest level is extremely high. I’d say in the high 90% bracket. She always calls or e-mails me when we’re not together telling me how much she misses me, etc, etc. And she expresses her feeling towards me in many ways when we are together. So my point here is that I know she’s really into me. And I play by the rule of keeping my interest level slightly below hers to keep things going. And it’s worked. Also, I apply all of the Game principals in our relationship. So I’m no chump with this girl and I feel that I have a good grip on the realtionship.

Her friend from New York is visiting her for four days. Her friend is single and young (25). Tonight they’re going out to a dance club with another girl whom they know who is also not dating anyone. This is all just fine. I understand that I shouldn’t discourage or show any type of insecurities regarding her going out with her friends. But I do feel that her two friends are going to be interested in the possibility of hooking up with some guys even though my girlfriend is not. It only makes sense since her one friend is from out of town, and they are single. This concerns me because I think it will put my GF in an awkward position.

I’m a bit confused on whether or not I should ask her anything about that evening in a playful manner when I talk to her next. In other words, what’s the best practice to do in this situation? Should I simply ask how her night went and if she had fun and just leave it at that? Or should I playfully poke at her about dudes hitting on her, and how girls can be naughty?

So the dillema is that on one hand, I don’t want to seem too passive about the whole thing. But on the other hand I don’t want to seem insecure. Part of me says that I should express some degree of protectiveness toward her in this situation. But I don’t want to send the wrong signal.

What are your thoughts

Let her go.

“You do know what happens when your girlfriend ‘gets drunk, he was cute, and one thing led to another,..’?!!” Yes, I’ve been the guy who nailed your girlfriend.

“You do know that ‘taken’ girls just want to live vicariously through their single girlfriends?” I’ve written volumes about it.

This is a very common shit test. Don’t even pause to think about it and do NOT let her perceive for a second that you’re even contemplating it. Be matter-of-fact and tell her you’ll see her when she gets back. Don’t tell her to call you, and don’t you call her. If she calls be concise and ask her if she’s enjoying herself, nothing more – no details, nothing. Let her be as forthcoming as she wants and never for a minute give her the impression you’re suspicious or posessive. This is the surest way to pass this test.

When and if she asks about what you’ve been doing, tell her you’ve been busy with work/school, your family, etc., (i.e. something unavoidably responsible). Do NOT say you’re out with the boys in some lame effort to counter her going off with the girls. Do NOT give her the impression that you are doing anything as a reprisal to her going off with the girls. Do NOT give her the impression that you are pacing around the house waiting for her to call or sulking. In fact I’d advise letting your voicemail pick up the call and then call her back an hour later, if at all.

I’m sure many guys reading this are experiencing the twangs of possessive insecurity even in my suggesting this course of action. The reflexive response most guys will have in a situation like this will be one of mate protection; the fear being that if they don’t express their disapproval they’ll run the risk of their woman thinking they don’t care enough about them to be jealous. This is a trope most guys sell themselves, because it’s more about suspicion than jealousy. As intuitive as this sounds it really masks the insecurity that their girl will meet another guy and hook up with him. On an instinctual level we’re well aware of women’s pluralistic sexual strategies, thus an evolutionarily honed suspicion was hardwired into our psyches to protect men from becoming the beta cuckold provisioning for another male’s offspring. However, as counterintuitive as this sounds, a GNO is an excellent opportunity to display confidence behaviors.

The GNO Shit Test

The secret of the GNO (girls night out) shit test is, the truth of the matter is, that if a woman is determined to cheat on you, there’s really nothing you can do about it. You can protect your own genetic interests, but whether it’s on a GNO or with some guy from the office, if a woman wants to fuck, she’ll find a way to fuck and all the psychological, possessive arm twisting in the world wont change that desire. The covert message in this is what’s important.

Remember, a woman’s default is to communicate covertly. When you are indifferent to her proposition of a GNO it sends the message that you are confident enough in your own ability to replace her should she cross that line. Let her imagination work for you. Women love to convince themselves, “he trusts me implicitly” while they secretly sift through your text messages, but the covert message is really a veiled threat and exemplifies your self-confidence. Bear in mind it’s what she feels in this communication. If you leave her with the feeling that you’re clingy, possessive, sulky and worried, the impression she has is that you’re weak and are the kind of guy that women settle for, not compete for. Essentially you make her the PRIZE by voicing your insecurities. Alphas don’t worry about their plates on GNOs, in fact women enraptured by Alphas don’t see the appeal of GNOs.

A Prince isn’t worried about the behavior of one woman when he has several more on the royal speed-dial; one more testament to the power of abundance thinking and Plate Theory. This may or may not be the case, but the impression of it and the covert communication of it is vital. If, by your actions you can leave her with the feeling that you have a lot going for you, you’re in demand, that you are a commodity that other women will compete for, that you are the PRIZE; you plant the seed of doubt and she will voluntarily curb her desire to go on GNOs – and this is the outcome you’re striving for. You want your attention to be more rewarding than the attention she’ll receive on a GNO. You can’t force this into being so, but you can covertly manipulate her desire. You want her to talk herself out of going.

Learn this now, making a woman cognizant of higher sexual market value can only be demonstrated, never explicated.

Disclaimer: At this point I should also add that this in no way excuses the woman who CONSTANTLY goes on GNOs as some kind of ritual with her girlfriends. This is symptomatic of a larger problem and this, again, is based in desire. If you ever find yourself in this circumstance your best recourse is to NEXT and remove your attentions entirely. Women who have a regular GNO in LTRs are seeking something vicariously through their friends that they feel deprived of and need a fix for to feel completed. It’s only a matter of time until the right circumstances arise for her to consolidate on that deprivation. Better to cut your losses on a bad investment than play the cuckold for a woman who has no genuine desire for you and regularly demonstrates this in her behavior.

Possessiveness

I’ve known seasoned players who’d pee themselves over a girls night out proposition, but I always advise they adopt the attitude that she’s free to go do whatever she’d like. In fact I’d encourage it. That’s where confidence makes you a man, when you can say “go ahead, have a good time.” It’s what’s implied in the action that counts. If a woman (or man) wants to cheat, they’ll find a way to do it, with or without your knowledge. The only person who’s actions you can control are your own. Now, would it suck to break up a marriage over that? Yes, but I’d rather it be dissolved than to live disingenuously one minute longer than necessary.

If I locked my wife/GF up in a closet that only gives credence to my insecurity about my relationship and changes the nature of my LTR. In fact, in doing so the frame automatically transfers to a woman the moment you become possessive, because you confirm for her that you lack the confidence to generate new options (i.e stimulate competition anxiety) – to be a man that other women would desperately want should she decide to cheat. You must be a Man that your GF/Wife doesn’t want to cheat on. Sometimes a woman can’t appreciate this because she’s too immature to get it, but you have to be the Man confident enough to say “do what you want” while communicating higher value. As I’ve stated before, when your silence inspires more dread than your words, you’re probably an Alpha.

A lot of guys have a real tough time with possessiveness. What they tend to overlook is the element of desire. If you’ve got a girl who want’s to go off with the girls to Vegas for a weekend the operative in the whole situation is that she WANTS to go. While I do understand the necessity of ‘mate protection’ this desire is already established BEFORE you issue any ultimatum (which is a declaration of powerlessness). If she had a fear of loss to begin with she would’ve passed on the trip because she had a genuine desire to do so. In fact considering it wouldn’t even be an afterthought.

This is the Desire Dynamic – you can never force a genuine desire by means of coercion or negotiation. You can pay a woman to fuck you, it doesn’t mean she wants to fuck you of her own volition. The girl still wants to go to Vegas even if her man were to give her an ultimatum, and in addition he comes off as an optionless, possessive chump. I realize the idea is that if he’s uncompromising and she magically respects him she’ll develop a real interest level in him because he put his foot down as a “real man”, but the damage is still done. Her desire isn’t for him, it’s for Vegas, even if she says “OK honey, you win”. It’s not genuine.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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patrick
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patrick
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I’m not saying that I wouldn’t feel bad in that situation, but I would certainly think so after a couple of days have passed.

Wesley Dabney
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patrick,
you can’t reason with men that think with their emotions. fear rules them. they are as bad as women. i agree with you but they’ll never understand.

jim
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Before civilization started to decay,which is to say before 1830, women were never allowed to have unsupervised contact with strange males, because it was expected that they would fuck them, causing the collapse of the family and thus society.

Well guess what. They did fuck them, the family collapsed, and now society is collapsing.

nek
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nek
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In all sincerity Wes, it does seem like you have alot going for you. You seem to have tangible attributes and accomplishments from which you derive your confidence, which makes your confidence seem genuine to me.So yes, given what you have going for you and what not it would be more difficult for your woman to find a man of higher value. So when you say that the guys expressing concern about loyalty are just “lower value men”, there might be some truth to that. However, that only goes to prove the point that they’re making. I think what’s trying… Read more »

nek
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Here’s what gets me, and I’m open to suggestions on this, but how can one NOT care about fidelity and not get jealous when they’ve invested themselves in a relationship and their investment is being met with disrespect at times? The purpose of an investment is a return on that investment in some form or another. So just by the nature of the relationship, you’d have to have some sort of outcome dependence (just like stock investments and one’s desire to make sure they’re profitable). It seems like some people manage that well from what I gather in the comments.… Read more »

redneck01
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> So, given that a) girls don’t go out on GNOs to be a cum dumpster

If a wife is actually in to her husband, she has no interest in Girls Nights Out in the pub.

It being easier to observe whether a wife is in to her husband, than whether she is a cum dumpster.

This correlation is evidence that girls that go out on a girls night out, are cum dumpsters.

nek
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One last thought (I drank a red bull for the first time in a while so I’m on a roll)…. Not just from this post, but from other one’s i’ve seen the saying along the lines of “all girls in the modern world go on GNOs, it’s normal” in the comments section. Yes, this is true, but this needs to be placed in the context of hypergamy. The modern, “normal” dating scene exists in the context of a world in which there are not checks for hypergamy. It’s due to the overall fem-centric nature of current society that facilitates the… Read more »

patrick
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“Here’s what gets me, and I’m open to suggestions on this, but how can one NOT care about fidelity and not get jealous when they’ve invested themselves in a relationship and their investment is being met with disrespect at times? The purpose of an investment is a return on that investment in some form or another. So just by the nature of the relationship, you’d have to have some sort of outcome dependence (just like stock investments and one’s desire to make sure they’re profitable). It seems like some people manage that well from what I gather in the comments.”… Read more »

GenuinelyCurious
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– You cannot stop hypergamy by denying GNO’s, in fact I would argue that you encourage it by displaying betaness – It is normal for girls to spend some time out with their own gender, and we all know from experience it is much harder to snag a girl who is in a group, often they are not interested at all, what does that tell you? – Time and energy is better spent on improving yourself rather than trying to own your girlfriend’s schedule. Honestly, I would find it a utterly humiliating if I found myself trying to control someone… Read more »

nek
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@patrick: Very good points, I agree. Here’s what I guess gets to me. I’m seeing a girl, having fun, truly not dependent on an outcome but then she pushes for a relationship, to take things to a “more serious” level. However, it seems the expectation is for me to take it to a more serious level while she’s not really meeting me halfway on it. I agree with you on what love is or at least ought to be, but that makes me think love is really something that exists between parents and children, not men and women. That saying… Read more »

dave843
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Dump her for even asking. Find a new one. You already know you’re able to attract good looking women from past experiences so why worry about losing one who isn’t treating you right? Yes it might be a bit painful since she’s been saying how much she likes you and stuff but you gotta realize from this behavior that she isn’t long term relationship quality and move on. Let her go on her ‘GNO’ single and go out yourself and find another one. Or mourn for a day or two and then go out, but I would go out right… Read more »

RDIAN
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I’m long gaming a girl who lives in a different country that I met. There are feelings there on both sides (possible oneitis, I’m afraid to report) and I’m confused as to what point bringing up the pick-up aspect of my life into conversation with her should be (she already knows about it and we spoke about it in person, but I’ve been reluctant to since we have only been speaking online from different countries so as not to “lose her”). How do I communicate “I picked up a girl’s number at the bar” or “I’m going on a date… Read more »

Nek
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@RDIAN I don’t have the link to the post but Rollo said it best: “If you have a long-distance relationship, you have no relationship”. Get out. A long-distance relationship is to a woman what a fuck buddy is to a man. With a fuck buddy, a man gets sex without giving emotional commitment. A LDR is commitment without the sex. You’re basically doing the male equivalent of whoring yourself out. Don’t do it. Pick up ass in your own country. To be honest, it sound to invested already. I recommend dropping it on peaceful terms. Loading...

Corey
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It depends mostly on the venue. If she’s going out with her friends to a bowling alley where there’s a small chance she’ll be hit on, that’s one thing. But if she’s going to a bar/club or any environment where she’s guaranteed to be hit on, that’s a huge disrespect to the boyfriend regardless of whether she actually intends to hook up with these other males. A lot of PUAs say you should act like you don’t care, suggesting that passivity equals alpha/confidence. That’s doublespeak in my opinion. The alpha is supposed to be the strongest, most dominant male in… Read more »

DaddyCool
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Stupid advice. If you gf is doing this you need to go out and make it obvious you don’t give a shit about her.
If your gf/wife is doing this she is likely to end up with Yareally’s dick in her mouth.
A prince will kick her out of the palace as soon as she comes back and sees him with the next woman.

Djeed
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I do not fully understand many comments of this post. Maybe it is because I have been a beta for too long but, if any of you have the ability to seduce hot women at will, why the hell would you care about one of them having a GNO?

Sincerely, I imagine myself being a true seducer now, and I can’t see any reason I would even start to care about a GNO.

EltaX
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If a 25 yo woman is considered young, what about a 26 yo?

Boys Night Out
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“At this point I should also add that this in no way excuses the woman who CONSTANTLY goes on GNOs as some kind of ritual with her girlfriends. This is symptomatic of a larger problem and this, again, is based in desire. If you ever find yourself in this circumstance your best recourse is to NEXT and remove your attentions entirely. ”

Does the same apply for BNOs?

Bobbington
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So in the event your girl goes out and makes a drunken mistake without telling you and you end up with some incurable sexually transmitted disease then what?

Bobbington
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So in the event your girl goes out and makes a drunken mistake without telling you and you end up with some incurable sexually transmitted disease, then what?

tim
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tim
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My wife went out with her girl friend years back and said only girls but it was happening to much so i asked a few questions and went later to her friends house any ways and her friends car was in the drive way still after my wife told me she was driving . i called my wife on the phone she told me again her friend drove and they are at the bar i asked her why is her car still at her house she told me nothing was going on she is drunk .I went down the street… Read more »

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[…] with me when I suggested that if their girlfriends or wives wanted to head out with the girls for a GNO they should, as indifferently as possible, let them go. Granted, I attached more than a few caveats […]

saintNick
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I fell upon this website by chance Friday the day before the dreaded girls night out, (how silly it feels after reading this I dreaded it) discussing it with my mom what I discovered really upset us both (she still thinks its aload of shit)but only cause I was the ideal beta.(raised by my mother no father figure, cheated on constantly by my exes,person who belived in the ideal of true love n soul mates and if I don’t cheat she wont cheat, n all that shit ) I even chose a girl below my station , shes overweight and… Read more »

phamrich
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I can totally accept GNO’s when the girl comes home to you or her house at the end of the night. But it would be great to hear more advice if it would be any different if the girl isn’t coming home for the night or even consecutive nights where she says shes sleeping over somewhere which could be a girl/guy friend, condo, etc. To top it all off my girlfriend likes to go party with druggies and dealers that are willing to blow huge amounts of cash in one night which is always a challenge for my jealousy complex.… Read more »

Jean
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Jean
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Phamrich, I say: if that happens, take note of her behavior and re-evaluate her status in your life. Don’t get emotionnally involved, just realized she is willing to take the risk of losing you (she knows that it will make some doubts arise in your mind). If she is willing to risk losing you, then it can mean two things : First, she thinks you are desperate and that you will not go away anyway. Second, she doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Anyway, you can NOT change her behavior. Even if you talked to her, it would be… Read more »

Jason
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What qualifies as too many GNO? I am currently in a relationship with a girl in college who goes out once or twice a month to parties with her friends in different colleges. These are college parties and she is with a couple girl friends but otherwise knows no one. So of course If she didn’t want me to know something I won’t. I don’t try to stop her, but we do have rules, I don’t condone drunkeness or drugs or nudity. And she as far as Ik never dances with other men. What concerns me is now that she… Read more »

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[…] Does she keep a core peer group of ‘girlfriends’ she insists on prioritizing over being with you? Frequent GNOs? […]

dunav78
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hi mate im lady but my answer on this is if women who is either married or in LTR she wont go nowere without you ,best thing you tell her that you not happy about that if she not agree let her go you deserve better person who will love u

master
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master
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I don’t agree you need to dominant tell want you need from her a women is made to help men no to do wherever the hell they want by telling her what you want is not showing that you care but showing that you haverules and if she does not follow she is out so don’t let women do as they please

Sarah
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Sarah
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As I woman, all of you guys have a messed up way of thinking. Woman do not seek out a GNO to cheat on their man but they are seeking a different kind of relationship with their girlfriends that a man can not provide. If a woman is secure in her relationship and her man trusts her enough to have a GNO then so be it. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t respect you. It doesn’t mean she is going To cheat on you. She just needs to bond with her friends and express herself as a woman. That might mean… Read more »

Brandon
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Brandon
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About the guy who posted the suggestion in the main body after it says “Let her go.” Look at the faggot white knight male feminist. Have some spine. Roll over and take it is the first step to male pussyhood. If you are a man and she leaves because of it, let her fucking leave and dupe the next idiot. You’re a tool

Pwn
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Pwn
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I found some comments here pretty sad. As someone who went to bars and clubs 3-4 times a week for a few years, I can safely tell you most men out there are horrible at picking up girls. I’m not amazing, but most men in these venues reek of desperation. Something else I noticed is that no matter how solid one’s game is, women don’t cheat ‘because it just happened’. She knows full well if she goes along with a man’s game past a point, she won’t be able to control herself. If your girlfriend is both into you and… Read more »

George
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George
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This is what i said to my wife , clubs and bars are good for sex and drugs including alcohol. Hey they want to go out and get hit on.Their all sluts and were all dogs. They need excitment , remember this women want a gentleman in public and a crazy sexual man in the bedroom that will ravish their bodies . Everytime you have sex make sure she has a least one orgasm shell tell all her friends , then watch them pay attention to you because your a fucking man .If you give your woman crazy sex most… Read more »

yep
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yep
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I would let her know that girls night out bothers you and tell her why in a non-insecure sounding way. Let her know that bars aren’t safe places for women. Which is true and give true information alike to back up your reasoning. If it is about her and not you then she will probably understand and not conform to some modern day norm. Pray to Jesus for more answers….btw ive played the field as a former athiest and know the game better than most RSD coaches and i can confidently assert being single and reading the bible is best… Read more »

John
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John
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Hahaha!! I’m the guy who fucks your girlfriend when she is out with other girls. Let’s face it alcohol and dancing mixed with a little conversation with another guy often leads to sexual encounter. Even if your girlfriend is madly in love with you. I have had girls at the beginning of the night flat out refuse a dance but after a little conversation and drinking she will dance cheek to cheek with you all night long. Women love to be loved by good looking men.

SJF
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SJF
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yippeekyay m*****fucker. Thanks for sharing.

Jay Clark
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Jay Clark
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Let her do what she will! My wife of 50+ years was a or still is a knock out. Told me in the beginning to never be jealous as she will always be hit on. If I had a problem with that better to not get involved with her. This gal was everything I could ever have dreamed of as a wife. Beautiful, smart, loving in every way, exceptionally fun to live with, popular socially, humble by recognizing all her good fortune and not putting herself above others. After four children, she told me we needed to Do all we… Read more »

bogdan
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I only wonder whether such a concession and agreement doesn’t have potential to come across as beta. Girl wants to have a night out, the beta agrees, as he does to everything else.

though I agree that basic psychological patterns in people would suggest that the beta would sooner disallow such an excursion, or at least make his displeasure known.

Bro
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Bro
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I disagree. You must have the ability to tell her NO, but if she goes on that Girls Night, then you leave her the next time you see her. Pua had this passive mindset when it comes to women going out to bars and clubs for a Girls Night while in a relationship. There is only one simple reason she’s going out and it’s to meet new people. It is not normal behavior and we should not accept it.

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