The Real You

One thing I’m always asked by guys is “How do I switch from a Beta loser to and Alpha winner?” There’s always a lot involved in how a guy can transition from one state to another and to today’s generation of low SMV men if you don’t have their immediate solution you must be selling snake oil. Most guys want a magic formula. They want a mantra to repeat or a set of steps to follow that will shift them from Beta virgin into Alpha cad. 

Well, maybe not ‘cad’. Most guys still cling to their Blue Pill hopes and attempt to see what the Red Pill presents to them as a key to getting to their Dream Girls. As I’ve pointed out countless times, a majority of men’s (80% Beta) only real problem is finding that one girl that fits their sexual strategy as ideal. In The New Polyandry I touched on this a bit; the Blue Pill conditions men to expect the old social contract of monogamy to be his default setting, even if he’s a high SMV man and could actually pursue a non-exclusive sexual strategy.

However, real change takes time. I know that sounds cliché, but part of that change almost always involves some kind of reassessment of one’s life during that process – and that’s always hard for the TL;DR generation. One of the more daunting aspects of unplugging a guy from the Matrix is that the goals he had while he was Blue Pill conditioned and ‘plugged in’ tend to fall away once he’s shifted to a Red Pill aware mentality. The “girl of his dreams” loses her veneer of desirability. The previous goal state that was defined for him by Blue Pill ideals is no longer the end he wished to achieve when he started his transformation. I think this is sometimes the hardest aspect of ‘awakening’ for guys to accept. Anger at oneself for wasting so much time and so much potential for not grasping the truth sooner is part of that process. So too is a sense of helplessness, if not hopelessness, that accompanies the realization that a man might not have what it takes (at the moment) to achieve what he’d like in life in this Red Pill paradigm.

There was a time when I was 21-22 and I first began playing in the Hollywood metal scene of the late 80s that I had one such transformation. By the time I was 20 I’d already been put through the wringer by my cheating ex-girlfriend from high school – who I was sure would be my eventual wife. I was Beta in the extreme, and thoroughly Blue Pill conditioned at that point, but I was going through what I termed the “Break Phase” in the timeline I created in Preventive Medicine.It took me about a year to shift from that mental state to one of making myself my Mental Point of Origin. Once I had – and once I’d decided I wanted to experience sex with hotter women – I found that through trial and error I could direct the path of what my personality would be, and what was going to be acceptable or not. I’d been emancipated from the expectations of being a Nice Guy as Game to essentially not caring what I was supposed to be doing to placate women. I figured out what worked for me.

I finally got into a ‘real band’ at 21. I played clubs every Friday or Saturday night between the ages of 21 and 25. I honestly only left my parents home because it was less convenient to bang a girl I’d met at a club on the weekend. But with that new identity came a new access to sex with women I could only fantasize about in a Hustler or a Penthouse magazine. The pivotal point came when one of my girlfriends (I had a rotation of about 4-5) was a bonafide swimsuit model. I thought I had finally ‘arrived’ at that point because my head was still measuring success by what the 15 year old version of myself thought was ‘it’. She was hotter and more fun in bed than any girl I’d gotten with previously. But my mindset was still mired in my Blue Pill ideals. According to those ideals she was the goal. And she was, until I managed to pull a centerfold who happened to live near me in Southern California. (Ask me about it sometime).

The point I’m making here is that a guy has to reconsider what his conditioning has taught him he should consider success based on the foundation of that conditioning. It wasn’t so much that I’d made myself my Mental Point of Origin, rather it was that I simply wanted to make the most of that time of my life and to do so meant that I needed to change my mind about who I wanted to be. I had transitioned from one personality to another and I liked it. I was rewarded with women’s genuine sexual desire and this served to further reinforce that new me as the genuine me. This begs the question, what is authenticity when it comes to ‘just being yourself’?

Later in my twenties I made the dangerous decision to involve myself with a woman who was clinically, psychologically disturbed. Of course she never wore a t-shirt that said “I’m insane” and I had wound myself up in her neurosis over the course of about four years. You can read the details about this relationship in Borderline Personality Disorder, but one thing I don’t get into in that essay is how I willingly became someone else – fundamentally changing my personality again – in order to solve this girl’s problems because I believed that who I was when we met was so flawed it was causing her neurosis. Now granted, I didn’t understand what I was involving myself in, but my point again is that who I was had shifted, but my core, internalized belief set was still very much informed by my Blue Pill conditioning. 

People who ride hard on the Personal Responsibility belief love to think that something so damaging must be self apparent. No one’s really a victim because they should’ve seen it coming – as they believe they would – but the reality is we want to believe that the Blue Pill ideals we’ve been raised with can come true. We want to believe that the ideals we internalized since five years old and on into our adulthood are in fact a possibility. In all my writing I make the case for a need to unplug oneself from the Matrix that is this Blue Pill conditioning. That’s what Red Pill awareness is; an awareness of the false existence we used to live out according to what others – often well meaning others – would like us to believe is true, because they want it to be true for themselves too. When I allowed myself to change my personality for my BPD girlfriend I had no idea that I was even doing so because I wanted to believe that she represented the ideal that the Blue Pill had raised me to think would be possible. A woman who fucked like a pornstar and looked like a swimsuit model and “loved me as much as I loved her”. And this came after I’d already check a swimsuit model and a centerfold off of my bucket list.

Personality is malleable, in fact it’s so malleable we often don’t realize we’re forging a new one. In both of these instances I’ve described that shift in personality was not by my conscious choice. I knew what I wanted to do; even in the worst case scenario with my BPD my shift was prompted because I thought if I changed my personality her own psychosis would resolve itself. My Blue Pill conditioning exacerbated this because it always teaches men that any problem a woman has with a guy is due to his own lack of investment, support, sensitivity or not giving enough of themselves. This is a very damning aspect of the Blue Pill and it’s also one that guys will reinforce in themselves and with other men because they believe their sacrifices are what women appreciate.

Beneath all this was my Blue Pill subroutine manifesting itself. Hell, even when I was on top of my game in the Hollywood clubs I still wanted to find a ‘good girl’ to be my girlfriend. I had changed my personality to succeed in getting what I wanted, but my root programming was still Blue Pill. Many a famous PUA has come to the conundrum of trying to make his Blue Pill idealistic dreams come true because he learned how to reliably ‘get the girl’. Good Game doesn’t make a man Red Pill aware. It’s certainly the gateway to understanding women’s nature and the nature of intersexual dynamics, but killing the Beta is a long term project.

So how do you shift from Beta Nice Guy to Alpha Cad? These are euphemisms usually meant to disparage the whole idea of changing yourself into something better. Most people don’t have it within themselves to even have the insight to think they’d ever want to change their nature. It’s easier to trot out “Just be yourself” when someone has that introspect. People don’t want you to change. Your predictability gives them comfort. You’re an easy element to deal with so they think that if you act in some new way you’re not being authentic. You’re a wannabe, a poseur, and they need you to behave predictably because it gives them a sense of control over you. Others want to pigeonhole you. They want to categorize you into immutable personality types or astrological designations that make them feel better about dealing with you. Again, if they can categorize you, if they can make you believe they know the truth of it, you’re just that much easier to control. Humans have a need to see patterns in their environment. The world is a chaotic place so it comes natural to us to think we can set some kind of willful order on it.

Eventually, after I’d finally torn myself away from my BPD girlfriend I returned to that Alpha personality that had been so successful for me, only this time I had finally realized that I needed to make myself my Mental Point of Origin. I looked back on all the women I’d applied the Blue Pill set of rules, ideals, hopes and dreams with. I was 26 and had nothing to show for all the potential that people kept telling me I had. I had done everything according to the old set of books; I was supportive, kind, sensitive, uplifting and empowering to every woman I’d been in a relationship with because I thought that was what would make me desirable. But as I looked back on all of that I realized I had done so at the expense of myself – at the expense of my potential. That sacrifice will alwayslead a man to his own destruction. I thank God it didn’t lead to my own.

It was at this point in my life that I realized that I had to unfuck my life and that meant a radical reimagining of who I wanted to be going forward. I get asked a lot about how I became unplugged and my usual answer is that it was a gradual process. This is true, but it was at this point I had to reject all the lies and idealistic fantasies that I’d been raised to believe in; to invest my ego in. I made a point to spell out to guys in A New Hope that you will never achieve Blue Pill ideals with Red Pill awareness and this is where that comes from. Unplugging, killing the Beta, reinventing who you are is not only possible for you, but it’s necessary to sustain you in a life of your own imagining. This doesn’t happen just by reading a book or going to a seminar, ultimately you have to live it and internalize that new you. You have to do this in spite of friends who want you to be ‘authentic’ and stay the old you so you’ll be comfortable to them.

All of this takes time, persistence and introspection, but it starts with an act of will on your part. You will only get what you have gotten if you keep doing what you have done. I can teach you Game. I can teach you the habits that would make others believe you’re a self-sufficient Alpha success, but only you can change your authentic personality. This is where a lot of guys lose the trail when it comes to being Red Pill aware. They read my books, they open their eyes, but they don’t know what to do with the information. Rich Cooper once told me that reading The Rational Male was like drinking from a firehose. There’s a lot to digest and a lot to confront with regards to how that information shows you, convicts you, of how you lived your life up to this point. But what do you do with it? Knowing is half the battle, the other half is action. The other half is implementing that knowledge to your own advantage.

Ever since I started writing I’ve always referred to myself as a Lesser Alpha. Some people think that’s self-deprecating, others think I’m just a married Beta with delusions of Alpha. Whatever. Either way, I’m a guy who took this knowledge and applied it to serve my own best interests and forge a truly authentic personality based on what I understand of what we call the Red Pill. I created a me of my own volition based on a realistic understanding of intersexual dynamics, but also of a better understanding of myself in that Red Pill paradigm as a result of it.

So, who is the real you? Who decides what your real personality is and what is authentic for you? What is the estimate that your  personality is based on? I get sick of hearing women and men talk about finding themselves. Women love the idea of a journey of self discovery. This is a fantasy of Blue Pill idealism meant to, again, keep one in a state of helplessness and hypoagency. Women use this garbage as a convenient rationale meant to excuse their past bad decisions. 

Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves. 

They forge themselves  into a creation of their own choosing based on realistic assessments of themselves, their conditions and the world that challenges them not to build himself. I wrote this essay to encourage you, but also to warn you that this building takes time, and you will meet all manner of resistance to the masculine project that is you.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Who asked “Can you see the real me” in 1979?

kfg
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“Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves.”

Roooooooooooll credits.

Zordaz the Hammer
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Rollo, Thank you for the Truth Bomb. I am still digesting my Red Pill. As you said, it will take time. My eye opener was when I first read that the Nice Guy wasn’t as special as I had always been told (he’s that 80% beta population). Since then I have started making myself my mental point of origin with six days a week lifting in the gym to transform my body. I am also transforming my mind. I just finished your third book Positive Masculinity. I was VERY impressed with your contrast of AROUSAL and ATTRACTION. I no longer… Read more »

walawala
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Just in case you’re wondering how far feminism has destroyed the last vestiges of any notion of Blue Pill romance…here’s your daily dose of Red Pill and just in time for Valentine’s Day…In Japan these ads were deemed offensive to their target customers “women”. https://www.mumbrella.asia/2019/02/loft-withdraws-valentines-day-campaign-for-japan-after-being-called-out-for-sexism Users on the social network asked why Loft was running down its primary audience — women — in an ad for chocolate. The pulling of this ad was seen as a victory. Meanwhile the shaming of white males in the Gillette ad is seen as some sort of milestone in breaking new ground in “manning… Read more »

rugby11
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Social Proof

IAS
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Great post, Rollo, thanks.

I also take the opportunity to again thank many of the commentators here, who I think actually do want to see me succeed and give helpful advice well beyond JBY.
Blax, HABD, KFG, IRL, Palmasailor, SJF, and especially Sentient come to my mind readily.

I’d like IRL to post more but I imagine he is busy IRL…

IAS
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@Walawala: the ad at the bottom of the article where the girl is getting hit in the face by a couple of plates full of cream and then happily smearing the cream in her face is even better LOL. I wonder what the inspiration for that one was grin

rugby11
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“This begs the question, what is authenticity when it comes to ‘just being yourself’?
I look in the mirror and see my faults and mistakes. I change and eat and build muscle

“Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves.”
Business and solitude The truth speaks for itself

“They forge themselves into a creation of their own choosing based on realistic assessments of themselves, their conditions and the world that challenges them not to build himself.”

Film Crafting yourself into a story of truth and legacy
Man this is such a great post to rest upon

Rudd
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” But as I looked back on all of that I realized I had done so at the expense of myself – at the expense of my potential. That sacrifice will alwayslead a man to his own destruction.”

This is or should be the key motivator. Stop self fucking sacrificing. Next step is make yourself your mental point of origin. Then find out what that means exactly in your context and act it out. Be fucking ruthless about it.

walawala
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@IAS Yes, that pie in the face/creampie ad was also seen as demeaning women. But any ad which depicts men as overweight indecisive “Delta Male” slobs…passes the SJW test for approved content.

Brian Connor
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Rollo ease up on the big words,its enough just trying to become Red Pilled without not being sure of understanding the actual word in a sentence , this on my part knocks me off the hole meaning of your point when I come across words I never heard or read before. Please feel free to help me in this matter.

Kindest regards Brian

Inigo Montoya
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In my opinion, this is one of the better posts I’ve seen on here lately. I personally prefer the introspective, “this is my position: take from it what you will” style. Thanks for your contributions and helping men along their journey towards self-improvement.

Incubus_Rising
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Did any of you guys receive e-mail notification for this post? I did not. Something is up.

HF
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HF
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@Incubus_Rising: I did get one as usual. The problem is on your side.

jbird669
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“Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves.” This is a great quote.

wahoo Mcdaniels
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There is a feeling one gets when he gets out of school for the summer,quits that suck ass job or walks away from an abusive relationship. This feeling is freedom wrapped up in civil disobedience. This disobedience is alpha in its essence,and can be dangerous to society. Prisons are full of alphas that pushed this to far,crossing the line between thinking outside the box to causing harm to others. This is why alpha gets so much push back and pull back. Like shit tests and crab claws on the ass. The trick is to know the rules and the loopholes… Read more »

Sentient
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You have to start somewhere to break free from the “matrix”. Action towards non encroaching freedom.

Used to be movies about this stuff…

“What the Fuck gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.”

Sentient
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“Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves. ”

Very true. A guide:

Step 1. “What do I want to do, right now?”
Step 2: [does it]

The Platinum Rule is a reliable way to start the process… [Do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it]

wahoo Mcdaniels
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The beta musician can copycat and hit all the notes just right,the alpha can take them bend,stretch,bounce,cut short and rearrange into a masterpiece. This doesn’t mean he can’t fit himself into a band.

theasdgamer
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Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves.

Can Red Pill men be built by their fathers?

wahoo Mcdaniels
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“What the fuck”gives you freedom” +1

drShredz9782
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My destructive short lived marriage to a BPD girl is what brought me here to the Red Pill. How my personality changed to be what she wanted is exactly what you describe in this article. I had to hit the bottom before I was willing to open my eyes and truly make changes to be the man I want to be. Still a work in progress, but I am happier now than I have ever been in my life.

DR Smith
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@ Rollo

The picture at the top of this blog post is too funny – captures exactly how guys often view themselves. I admit that in my dreams when I picture myself I always think of my ‘better’ self. However, when I wake up and look in the mirror, I chuckle and realize how powerful a motivator reality can be in the form of an image in a mirror….got a lot of work to still do, Smith, I say to that image.
Funny, though – why does the guy in the image’ idealized self look like Putin?

Sentient
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comment image

Veneno1
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Just yesterday I thought you’ve only been RP for 2 years, for 26 years you’ve been fed shit. I don’t expect to become a pussy slayer after reading 3 game books etc. But one thing I have seen is how people challenge your frame. Your told what to do by every well meaning asshole under the sun. But the essence of TRP is to think for yourself.

rugby11
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Magnus Stout
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Excellent post. Your question, “What is authenticity when it comes to ‘just being yourself’?” can best be answered by stating you are what you do. Your “you” is mostly post-hoc rationalization. Acting in conformity with your “you” is one of the strongest principles of psychology (the “consistency principle”). Our actions express our values. The Red Pill is essentially amoral, thus it cannot provide you a telos (reason for being). It is but a means to an end. Otherwise, it is hollow and nihilistic. This is why, as you state: “Many a famous PUA has come to the conundrum of trying… Read more »

Darklord
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isn’t it crazy that Asia Argento recently walked a fashion show and one of the greatest American Anime voice actors was fired over a lie

https://comicbook.com/anime/2019/02/11/vic-mignogna-funimation-fired-anime-react/#7

Anonymous Reader
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Question: what is involved in living in the modern world yet not routing data through Amazon, Google, Facebook, Apple, etc.?

Quite a bit more than you might think. It’s not the 1990’s anymore.

https://gizmodo.com/i-cut-the-big-five-tech-giants-from-my-life-it-was-hel-1831304194

O.B.I.T.
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There are two ways to read that drawing, you know — it could be the dog’s fantasy.

The guy might have long since lost the ability to even dream.

StrikeForce Morituri
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“Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves.” Thank you for writing this, a great way to extemporaneously explain the road you have to take to be the better you. A few years ago I was dumped by my girlfriend as she found out I was cheating on her. Surprisingly to me I found myself without any friends as she had directed our social life completely, and they all left with her. There I was for the first time since my twenties having to start all over in the SMP. I was overweight, fashionably clueless and had only one… Read more »

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@Darklord

Nah, not surprise.
It is all about the “Who? Whom?”.

EhIntellect
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I’ve another opinion re: “Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves.” Being RP. aka authentic, living in accordance with our best interests, is a reductive process. Consider this: Picture yourself when you were your best self in your life. Were you an unalloyed you or something more to a degree? Was being your best self a building process, thinking about the next step in a grand development of masculinization or did you “just get it”, living life unadulterated? Was it difficult to do or relaxed? When did you feel most satisfied, competent and at peace with your lot… Read more »

panopticonism
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You want to be alpha? Never be controlled by women and always control them. You don’t need to be a huge, rich good looking guy to do that. You just have to understand how women manipulate you and why. You have The Rational Male to teach you how to do that.

Also, any RP guys in Scotland? I need to build the tribe.

elooie
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Since finding this blog after a nasty breakup where I walked out of my apartment with nothing but a trash bag of work clothes and my laptop I found this blog to be eye opening and connected lots of dots. In the 2.5 years since that has happened, I’ve lost 35 lbs of fat, gained toned muscles, quit my job, live off my portfolio investments(I’m a professionally trained investor), grew a beard/long hair, have my own apartment in one of the most expensive cities in the country, and I’ve traveled all over ranging from Panama, Dubai, to the French and… Read more »

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I will give a visual metaphor that explains what I think to be the truth about personal identity. Take a pile of wood, and a big stone. These two things both have potential, but potential for different things. I can make a house and a ship out of the wood, but if I try to make a statue it will have problems. From the stone, I can make a better house, and a better statue, but the ship will be horrible, it will sink. Think of personality like this, we each have potential based upon a certain “character”, but this… Read more »

kfg
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comment image

Snoman
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@ Rollo
This post would be a great opener for the next book. At the very least a series of upcoming posts.
Your time and effort is appreciated. Excellent art work as well.

Blaximus
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Kfg

😂👍👍👍

Blaximus
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Most men can be anything they want to be, and so anything they want to do. The very first step is to understand this and internalize it. Then you gotta gain whatever knowledge needed and get to work. As age advances, I realize that time will limit my ability to do all that’s possible ( that I’d like to do ). Not enough years left. Hell, I’m still trying to fit learning to fly into a reasonable schedule. The problem guys bump into is maintaining motivational fire while constantly being pulled in other directions and distracted. Everything always seems to… Read more »

theasdgamer
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Most men can be anything they want to be.

“Army! Navy! Air Force! Marines!”

Blax the Recruiter

SJF
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“I wrote this essay to encourage you, but also to warn you that this building takes time, and you will meet all manner of resistance to the masculine project that is you.” Ah, Yes. Resistance, it is always there. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to wage war against Resistance.: https://therationalmale.com/2018/05/07/emotional-differences/comment-page-3/#comment-251254 Refer to the comment that starts like this: @Rugby and Marelius One of the biggest stumbling blocks is those Walls in front of you. Those walls are Resistance. Your job is to make those walls lower, so you step over them like they are small, not… Read more »

panopticonism
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@palmasailor

Shit, that is not much of a tribe. Worthwhile getting in contact though. Do you have a usable email address? I only have addresses with my name in them and I’m fucking paranoid about putting them up!

Daniel Hughes
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I’m just about to finish positive masculinity for the second time. 1st in book format second in audio book. I’ve listened to the rational male and preventive medicine about 20 times between the two. Things such as female solipsism and mental point of origin are not simple concepts to properly under stand to a point where you can see examples before your own eyes. I got dumped last year by someone I loved for th first time. I’m 34. That set the wheels in motion to answer some familiar questions. I think I listened to the RM in June last… Read more »

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[…] read an article this week by Rollo Tomassi which addresses this issue well: when you unplug from the matrix you […]

Sentient
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On the FR thread, Blax asks: But kissing, fingering, titty and was squeezing isn’t ” cheating ” imo. Is that strange? This ties in to something I’ve been thinking about since Rollo posted this: They want a mantra to repeat or a set of steps to follow that will shift them from Beta virgin into Alpha cad. Well, maybe not ‘cad’. And that is – can one be Alpha and not a “cad”? That’s the question I pose to the assembled. I’m sure it is contentious. My working hypothesis is “No”. With a qualifier, which is “cad” is defined as… Read more »

Not Born This Morning
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Yea, that’s the ticket man. Gotta “build” a new SELF, a better SELF. Make it a real SELF make it an authentic SELF. Its all about SELF, your SELF, developing your SELF, isn’t it now? You will encounter a lot of resistance. It will take time. The world is against you. The only way is to “become “authentic”” Kill the beta, become alpha, be authentic…… It’s all building a new SELF, developing a new SELF to get with hotter women, and so your new SELF will enable you to be happier about your SELF… ….because YOU were never controlling anything… Read more »

Not Born This Morning
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The fantasy of SELF appropriately backdropped by Boris Vallejo fantasy art. Ohh how inspiring. Hop on boys, the wheel is spinning!

SJF
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@Sentient “Thoughts?” A man’s got to do what he has to do to achieve his objectives. He forges himself into who he wants to to be. He might need to cheat the system. I had referred to this before with stories BluePillProfessor was telling me. The Gordian Knot. https://www.history.com/news/what-was-the-gordian-knot Or The Kobayashi Maru. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru The amoral point of the story/exercise is that a man’s got to cheat when a man has got to cheat. But sometimes going full Cad is not necessary to achieve his objectives. To each man his own. It was interesting, I could never get into Dalrock.… Read more »

Blaximus
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Usually I’ve rejected the term/label ” cad “, but reading sentient’s take on the definition, I’d describe myself as a cad . I mean, we guys walk around all the time noticing how hot or how fine a woman is. But what do they think? What do they think about us when we embody masculinity and are unapologetic about it? This is a two way street imho. Circumstances keep trying to train us as men to fall into a feminine frame.😝 is Yet all of that shit in romance novels and 50 shades of bullshit are telling. Spend time around… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@Daniel I got dumped last year by someone I loved for th first time. I’m 34.< I was a prodigy or something. I got dumped at 21, lol. At the time, it was the end of the world, but not after ten years, lol. I was “in love” = full of heroin juice (oxytocin). It’s fine to love, but it shouldn’t be your be all and end all. I still love all my girls, but I’m not “in love” with any of them. @Sentient Can an alpha really cheat? It’s easy for married men to be caught in vows of… Read more »

Cult-I Vader
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IMHO most attractive and fun women are BPD to some degree. It seems to be a factor of being attractive and the kind of attention that attraction perpetrates. A young attractive woman is clueless to the responses she generates in men. Her own defenses and adaptations are what develops and enhances the BPD. I go into relating knowing this and prepared for the creative ways to instigate her passion and look for how to diffuse the bizarre when she treads on that “borderline”. The BPD episodes are little more than shit tests taken to extreme, likely because her previous shit… Read more »

kfg
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“IMHO most attractive and fun women are BPD to some degree.”

Snap out of it.

Blaximus
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Young attractive women aren’t as clueless as you want to imagine.

If they aren’t mentally incapacitated in some fashion, they start to ” learn ” shortly after puberty. They might not grasp the mechanism fully, but they notice the results.

With the popularity of that devil called social media, attractive women get the lion’s share of thirsty attention from males, but mostly all young girls will get spikes in attention after puberty hits.

This, is biology at work.

kfg
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” . . . they start to ” learn ” shortly after puberty.”

And have learned the basic mechanisms of manipulating men well before that, but lack the art, so if you watch them carefully you can see them performing the calculations. Coming up on birthdays and Christmas it can be particularly obvious.

theasdgamer
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If they aren’t mentally incapacitated in some fashion, they start to ” learn ” shortly after puberty.

If they aren’t mentally incapacitated in some fashion, they start to ” learn ” shortly after being born.”

fify

anon
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anon
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Another airforce story. Details included. Something about too much sexism in the US military driving her away from the US and into the arms of Iran. I’m assuming she’s hoping to sell the rights to her story to the Onion.
T
https://www.stripes.com/former-air-force-tech-sergeant-who-served-10-years-charged-with-spying-for-iran-1.568563

kfg
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kfg
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IAS
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IAS
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@kfg: 20% is extremely high. I think part of that is that the population of people getting tests done has higher prevalence than the general population.

rugby11
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rugby11
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Great discussion’s

kfg
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kfg
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@IAS:

Self-selection biases can be funny things. I take as a working hypothesis that not only are the men getting these tests likely to already have their suspicions, but that men who decline to get these tests also do so for the same suspicions.

IAS
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@KFG: AWALT and all, I myself even before being RP defended that testing should be done at birth. I found some tables on an article, allegedly from this paper (I don’t have free access to it) https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/504167 If the tables are correct there were some groups (socioeconomic / geographic) with up to around 10% “nonpaternity” (nice euphemism there), but mostly it was 3% or under. Although I also want to point out that even if it was “just” 1% and if it was something else (an interesting analog would be maternity swaps), it would be an “epidemic” taken seriously… But… Read more »

kfg
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kfg
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@IAS: That study itself isn’t about overall paternity rates (although it obviously relies on them), but about how accurate men’s self-assessment of paternity is. Men who are sure the kid is theirs are wrong circa 2% of the time. I can’t get to it either and it will probably be months before I can get to someone who can get to it for me. I haven’t been so much as on a campus this winter. I might have to actually consider buying it. As I noted the other day, being told that I’m in the top 1% at online Jeopardy… Read more »

theasdgamer
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““IMHO most attractive and fun women are BPD to some degree.”

Women vary in how much drama they need. It’s like a drug. Some develop immunity and need higher levels. Like any junkie, they will manipulate and deceive to get their drugs.

IAS
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@KFG:
The article that has the tables which purportedly are in that paper is here, so you can have a look at the tables without buying access:
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2010/06/the-paternity-myth-the-rarity-of-cuckoldry/

The author of the article puts the usual spin on it, as one can see from the title.
The author also links to this other study in the comments section:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19320216

kfg
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kfg
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“The article that has the tables which purportedly are in that paper is here . . .” And those are complied from 67 other studies. I’d want to see those. I see that a lot of the sample sizes are tiny. “The author of the article puts the usual spin on it . . . ” Yeah, I remember its publication and the “Don’t worry guys, it’s only 3% so everything’s just peachy” spin. I’ll note that the 30% number isn’t just pulled out of the air, it comes from a reported observation of blood types by hospital staff in… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@kfg

I wonder about distribution. Assuming 30% of offspring are cuckoos, does this impact 60% of husbands, or do the same women cuck their husbands? And is the distribution the same between rural and city, or is there disparity?

I don’t expect answers, but the questions are intriguing.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Rural and city…..

😂😂😂

theasdgamer
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I found this: For gonorrhea, rates in urban areas were significantly higher among white males (15.5/100,000), black males (519.6/100,000), and black females (414.2/100,000) as compared to rural populations. The literature suggests that reported infection rates for both chlamydia and gonorrhea are substantially higher in the southern region of United States as compared to other parts of the country https://www.gapha.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Raychowdhury-STD-2008.pdf Loading...

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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eYou’ve ” found ” your ” studies ” for years. You’ve made those kind are statements for years as well. It must make you feel better for something. I could site ” studies ” as well, but they’d hurt your feelings or you’d just outright reject them, because that’s how your brain spits and sputters around in your skull.😂 Because a ” study of paper ” asserts that 30-60% of children are born to men that aren’t the ” husband “, then that settles it, right? There’s no discussion arguing accuracy or numbers. Ever. That ” toxic masculinity ” apa… Read more »

Blaximus
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I have to find a study about whether autism comes with a childlike fear of stds or something. Asd has prattled on forever about these things, even though he has an n count of precisely 1.

Too much reading, not enough real world.

theasdgamer
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NAWALT There are studies that show that virginity at the time of marriage correlates to a lower divorce rate. However, this may merely be an irrelevant artifact of a time when women were more likely to be virgins because of training and this training also mitigated against divorce. The percent of women under 25 who are virgins is reported to be low (~6%, IIRC). These studies may show the benefit of training rather than the likelihood of virginity being a bulwark against divorce. NB Blax has shown that Newton is in error because Newton only did a study and Blax… Read more »

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Naw, I see gravity every single day when I stand.

You should see it when you have your head so far up your was because it takes an appropriate amount of force to achieve.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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😂😂

Yeah. According to Asd, my 11 year old goddaughter isn’t a virgin, nor are most girls in elementary schools because the number of virgins under 25 is -6%.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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…. And most of them have an age as well.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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” std ” not ” age “.

Fucking spellchecker man…😠

Cult-I-Vader
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Cult-I-Vader
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@kfg you responded to my post….

“IMHO most attractive and fun women are BPD to some degree.”

Snap out of it.

Snap out of what? That I don’t give chicks much credit for having their shit together. Well I don’t. Do you? I’ll go a step further for the sake of bringing out the beta in you. All women are BPD to some degree, and I have women who will back up that statement. Sounds like you’re a unicornishian pedestalfiliac, dude. Snap out of it.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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Lol, nah.

Anonymous Reader
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Anonymous Reader
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Blaximus
I see gravity every single day when I stand.

Remember that the opposite of gravity is comedy.

kfg
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kfg
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Well, he got me. I buy so much pedestal polish it has to be freight shipped.

theasdgamer
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@AR

Blax is a double threat–he does stand up comedy as well as stand up gravity.

Centuries
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Centuries
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Since the topic du jour is gravity, comedy and BPD’s I take a moment and relay the gravity of the situation when dealing with BPD women so as not to encourage dark comedy in the lives of any lurkers. The following statement is one of the most poignant and true statements that encapsulate your life with a BPD woman if you so choose to make that choice;

“I hate you so much, don’t you ever ever fucking leave me.”

DW
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DW
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For Rollo… Looks like other media writers converging on your ideals … Link below sites some studys and articles that may be of interest…. Interesting that Harry’s (razor company) commissioned a study of men’s happiness and references Positive Masculinity

https://youtu.be/hnqBgmkR9UI

theasdgamer
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Sorry, I got the stat wrong. It’s 6% of women who are marrying are virgins. Of course, that includes non-first marriages. The percent of women who are virgins when marrying for the first time is probably about 11%.

Blaximus
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Blaximus
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How exactly do you know that?

Question for you, how many studies have you been a part of? Questionnaires filled out?

How many ” people ” do you actually know? How many women outside of your immediate family are you very familiar with ( not counting dancing )?

I don’t know if that percentage is correct or if it’s bullshit, but I don’t buy it according to what i actually know, experienced and understand.

Are all those vawa studies and data correct more broadly?

ollieoxenfree1
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This essay is so good that after initially reading it, I’ve read it three more times since.

SJF
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SJF
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What resonates with you about it, Ollie?

theasdgamer
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What’s your point, Blax?

scribblerg
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scribblerg
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Hmmm. I’m not sure I agree with the framing in this essay. I certainly believe a man can and must adapt a mindset based on a Red Pill view of the world. And that Blue Pill worldviews are changeable. But moving from beta to alpha? This is shit we get baked into us when we are young children. Yes, of course it’s a choice, a decision – not some biological trait – but it comes when you are very young and decide who you are going to be in the world. I’ve seen different developmental models, and I think being… Read more »

SJF
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Well you are certainly a breath of fresh Alpha air, Scribbler in a doldrums of comments. Thanks for the No Shit Sherlock advice. “The Red Pill promises you exactly nothing.” That is certain. It only informs. “In fact, for most of you the truth about your lot in our social order is bad news, you will feel worse after learning it all.” Yes. You did once, too. But you took your balls in your own hands and dug yourself out. Good for you. Others have that chance. too. “Only an alpha is truly happy after the Red Pill cuz, at… Read more »

SJF
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SJF
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Well, the 15 minutes to edit is certainly a bit short Rollo. I tried to edit my sub-comms to Scribbler in which I was trying to communicate to him to not be such an AMOG dick. Cause guess what? Not everyone is the same. Everyone had potential to masculine self improve and get laid. So I’ll repeat this for effect, with edits from above: Well you are certainly a breath of fresh Alpha air, Scribbler in a doldrums of comments. Thanks for the No Shit Sherlock advice. “The Red Pill promises you exactly nothing.” That is certain. It only informs.… Read more »

theasdgamer
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Scribs, you suck at calibrating people, even worse than me.

SJF
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SJF
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“Scribs, you suck at calibrating people, even worse than me.” Irrelevant. It’s not about taking shots at other commenters. It’s not. It’s about the Red Pill way of life. If Red Pill life is not about collaborating with other men in the manosphere? WTF? The manosphere was invented to move forward in life with a purpose. Not to bitch like a girl. It’s not about emotions. It’s about getting something done. I respect Scribbler a huge amount for doing his thing (now, and in the raw, it’s fantastic stuff for him) and moving forward for the last four years. A… Read more »

The Silver FoX
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The Silver FoX
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Gentlemen, it has been an interesting summer rebuilding myself since my last less than inspired post. For those who don’t recall (not that i would expect anyone to), I got together with a sweet hippy chick 25 years my junior at a music festival i was playing at. Anyways, we never got together again and I once again sunk into my needy little bitch state for some time. Since then I have quit social media (have not missed it for a second), quit drinking and smoking pot, started hitting the weights with more regularity, and becoming a left-wing apostate. Been… Read more »

M Simon
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M Simon
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The most difficult thing for me was coming to grips with “women are masochists”. I didn’t care much for S&M. At all. I was Red Pilled at age 18 (The Fall of 1962). But I still wanted to believe that women were “pure” and loving. I have been Red Pilling the OL – not because it was a good idea – but because I wanted to know what it might be like if she understood her nature and accepted and worked with it. She is starting to get it. And funny enough she actually likes it. She is facing her… Read more »

M Simon
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M Simon
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https://therationalmale.com/2019/02/11/the-real-you/comment-page-2/#comment-270267

The Silver FoX,

Pot and alcohol use to “excess” is a symptom of PTSD. Unresolved PTSD. When the PTSD is resolved (mostly) at least the excess falls away. If it is a struggle you have not resolved the underlying cause. Long term PTSD is genetic, but it needs a trauma trigger. About 20% of the population has the genetics. And something like half of those get the trigger.

theasdgamer
Guest

@SJF It’s helpful for men to point out a lack of calibration to each other. It’s something you do for another man in the tribe. Sometimes people give off signals for various strategic reasons that might seem weak, but are actually clever. It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Prov. 20:3) The proverb doesn’t mean that a man should abandon his mates when they are in a firefight. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win… Read more »

theasdgamer
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Note: The S I provide is strictly emotional. And funny enough after years of practice I’m beginning to like it. And the bonding is incredible. This ties in with my assertion that women need drama from time to time and will create drama if they don’t get it. Women who need more drama are often called “BPD.” The way to handle them is to create drama whenever they give off signals that they need drama. Calibration. SJF, do you sense a theme in my recent postings? NB Physical sadism with old ladies can lead to trips to the ER and… Read more »

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