The Real You

One thing I’m always asked by guys is “How do I switch from a Beta loser to and Alpha winner?” There’s always a lot involved in how a guy can transition from one state to another and to today’s generation of low SMV men if you don’t have their immediate solution you must be selling snake oil. Most guys want a magic formula. They want a mantra to repeat or a set of steps to follow that will shift them from Beta virgin into Alpha cad. 

Well, maybe not ‘cad’. Most guys still cling to their Blue Pill hopes and attempt to see what the Red Pill presents to them as a key to getting to their Dream Girls. As I’ve pointed out countless times, a majority of men’s (80% Beta) only real problem is finding that one girl that fits their sexual strategy as ideal. In The New Polyandry I touched on this a bit; the Blue Pill conditions men to expect the old social contract of monogamy to be his default setting, even if he’s a high SMV man and could actually pursue a non-exclusive sexual strategy.

However, real change takes time. I know that sounds cliché, but part of that change almost always involves some kind of reassessment of one’s life during that process – and that’s always hard for the TL;DR generation. One of the more daunting aspects of unplugging a guy from the Matrix is that the goals he had while he was Blue Pill conditioned and ‘plugged in’ tend to fall away once he’s shifted to a Red Pill aware mentality. The “girl of his dreams” loses her veneer of desirability. The previous goal state that was defined for him by Blue Pill ideals is no longer the end he wished to achieve when he started his transformation. I think this is sometimes the hardest aspect of ‘awakening’ for guys to accept. Anger at oneself for wasting so much time and so much potential for not grasping the truth sooner is part of that process. So too is a sense of helplessness, if not hopelessness, that accompanies the realization that a man might not have what it takes (at the moment) to achieve what he’d like in life in this Red Pill paradigm.

There was a time when I was 21-22 and I first began playing in the Hollywood metal scene of the late 80s that I had one such transformation. By the time I was 20 I’d already been put through the wringer by my cheating ex-girlfriend from high school – who I was sure would be my eventual wife. I was Beta in the extreme, and thoroughly Blue Pill conditioned at that point, but I was going through what I termed the “Break Phase” in the timeline I created in Preventive Medicine.It took me about a year to shift from that mental state to one of making myself my Mental Point of Origin. Once I had – and once I’d decided I wanted to experience sex with hotter women – I found that through trial and error I could direct the path of what my personality would be, and what was going to be acceptable or not. I’d been emancipated from the expectations of being a Nice Guy as Game to essentially not caring what I was supposed to be doing to placate women. I figured out what worked for me.

I finally got into a ‘real band’ at 21. I played clubs every Friday or Saturday night between the ages of 21 and 25. I honestly only left my parents home because it was less convenient to bang a girl I’d met at a club on the weekend. But with that new identity came a new access to sex with women I could only fantasize about in a Hustler or a Penthouse magazine. The pivotal point came when one of my girlfriends (I had a rotation of about 4-5) was a bonafide swimsuit model. I thought I had finally ‘arrived’ at that point because my head was still measuring success by what the 15 year old version of myself thought was ‘it’. She was hotter and more fun in bed than any girl I’d gotten with previously. But my mindset was still mired in my Blue Pill ideals. According to those ideals she was the goal. And she was, until I managed to pull a centerfold who happened to live near me in Southern California. (Ask me about it sometime).

The point I’m making here is that a guy has to reconsider what his conditioning has taught him he should consider success based on the foundation of that conditioning. It wasn’t so much that I’d made myself my Mental Point of Origin, rather it was that I simply wanted to make the most of that time of my life and to do so meant that I needed to change my mind about who I wanted to be. I had transitioned from one personality to another and I liked it. I was rewarded with women’s genuine sexual desire and this served to further reinforce that new me as the genuine me. This begs the question, what is authenticity when it comes to ‘just being yourself’?

Later in my twenties I made the dangerous decision to involve myself with a woman who was clinically, psychologically disturbed. Of course she never wore a t-shirt that said “I’m insane” and I had wound myself up in her neurosis over the course of about four years. You can read the details about this relationship in Borderline Personality Disorder, but one thing I don’t get into in that essay is how I willingly became someone else – fundamentally changing my personality again – in order to solve this girl’s problems because I believed that who I was when we met was so flawed it was causing her neurosis. Now granted, I didn’t understand what I was involving myself in, but my point again is that who I was had shifted, but my core, internalized belief set was still very much informed by my Blue Pill conditioning. 

People who ride hard on the Personal Responsibility belief love to think that something so damaging must be self apparent. No one’s really a victim because they should’ve seen it coming – as they believe they would – but the reality is we want to believe that the Blue Pill ideals we’ve been raised with can come true. We want to believe that the ideals we internalized since five years old and on into our adulthood are in fact a possibility. In all my writing I make the case for a need to unplug oneself from the Matrix that is this Blue Pill conditioning. That’s what Red Pill awareness is; an awareness of the false existence we used to live out according to what others – often well meaning others – would like us to believe is true, because they want it to be true for themselves too. When I allowed myself to change my personality for my BPD girlfriend I had no idea that I was even doing so because I wanted to believe that she represented the ideal that the Blue Pill had raised me to think would be possible. A woman who fucked like a pornstar and looked like a swimsuit model and “loved me as much as I loved her”. And this came after I’d already check a swimsuit model and a centerfold off of my bucket list.

Personality is malleable, in fact it’s so malleable we often don’t realize we’re forging a new one. In both of these instances I’ve described that shift in personality was not by my conscious choice. I knew what I wanted to do; even in the worst case scenario with my BPD my shift was prompted because I thought if I changed my personality her own psychosis would resolve itself. My Blue Pill conditioning exacerbated this because it always teaches men that any problem a woman has with a guy is due to his own lack of investment, support, sensitivity or not giving enough of themselves. This is a very damning aspect of the Blue Pill and it’s also one that guys will reinforce in themselves and with other men because they believe their sacrifices are what women appreciate.

Beneath all this was my Blue Pill subroutine manifesting itself. Hell, even when I was on top of my game in the Hollywood clubs I still wanted to find a ‘good girl’ to be my girlfriend. I had changed my personality to succeed in getting what I wanted, but my root programming was still Blue Pill. Many a famous PUA has come to the conundrum of trying to make his Blue Pill idealistic dreams come true because he learned how to reliably ‘get the girl’. Good Game doesn’t make a man Red Pill aware. It’s certainly the gateway to understanding women’s nature and the nature of intersexual dynamics, but killing the Beta is a long term project.

So how do you shift from Beta Nice Guy to Alpha Cad? These are euphemisms usually meant to disparage the whole idea of changing yourself into something better. Most people don’t have it within themselves to even have the insight to think they’d ever want to change their nature. It’s easier to trot out “Just be yourself” when someone has that introspect. People don’t want you to change. Your predictability gives them comfort. You’re an easy element to deal with so they think that if you act in some new way you’re not being authentic. You’re a wannabe, a poseur, and they need you to behave predictably because it gives them a sense of control over you. Others want to pigeonhole you. They want to categorize you into immutable personality types or astrological designations that make them feel better about dealing with you. Again, if they can categorize you, if they can make you believe they know the truth of it, you’re just that much easier to control. Humans have a need to see patterns in their environment. The world is a chaotic place so it comes natural to us to think we can set some kind of willful order on it.

Eventually, after I’d finally torn myself away from my BPD girlfriend I returned to that Alpha personality that had been so successful for me, only this time I had finally realized that I needed to make myself my Mental Point of Origin. I looked back on all the women I’d applied the Blue Pill set of rules, ideals, hopes and dreams with. I was 26 and had nothing to show for all the potential that people kept telling me I had. I had done everything according to the old set of books; I was supportive, kind, sensitive, uplifting and empowering to every woman I’d been in a relationship with because I thought that was what would make me desirable. But as I looked back on all of that I realized I had done so at the expense of myself – at the expense of my potential. That sacrifice will alwayslead a man to his own destruction. I thank God it didn’t lead to my own.

It was at this point in my life that I realized that I had to unfuck my life and that meant a radical reimagining of who I wanted to be going forward. I get asked a lot about how I became unplugged and my usual answer is that it was a gradual process. This is true, but it was at this point I had to reject all the lies and idealistic fantasies that I’d been raised to believe in; to invest my ego in. I made a point to spell out to guys in A New Hope that you will never achieve Blue Pill ideals with Red Pill awareness and this is where that comes from. Unplugging, killing the Beta, reinventing who you are is not only possible for you, but it’s necessary to sustain you in a life of your own imagining. This doesn’t happen just by reading a book or going to a seminar, ultimately you have to live it and internalize that new you. You have to do this in spite of friends who want you to be ‘authentic’ and stay the old you so you’ll be comfortable to them.

All of this takes time, persistence and introspection, but it starts with an act of will on your part. You will only get what you have gotten if you keep doing what you have done. I can teach you Game. I can teach you the habits that would make others believe you’re a self-sufficient Alpha success, but only you can change your authentic personality. This is where a lot of guys lose the trail when it comes to being Red Pill aware. They read my books, they open their eyes, but they don’t know what to do with the information. Rich Cooper once told me that reading The Rational Male was like drinking from a firehose. There’s a lot to digest and a lot to confront with regards to how that information shows you, convicts you, of how you lived your life up to this point. But what do you do with it? Knowing is half the battle, the other half is action. The other half is implementing that knowledge to your own advantage.

Ever since I started writing I’ve always referred to myself as a Lesser Alpha. Some people think that’s self-deprecating, others think I’m just a married Beta with delusions of Alpha. Whatever. Either way, I’m a guy who took this knowledge and applied it to serve my own best interests and forge a truly authentic personality based on what I understand of what we call the Red Pill. I created a me of my own volition based on a realistic understanding of intersexual dynamics, but also of a better understanding of myself in that Red Pill paradigm as a result of it.

So, who is the real you? Who decides what your real personality is and what is authentic for you? What is the estimate that your  personality is based on? I get sick of hearing women and men talk about finding themselves. Women love the idea of a journey of self discovery. This is a fantasy of Blue Pill idealism meant to, again, keep one in a state of helplessness and hypoagency. Women use this garbage as a convenient rationale meant to excuse their past bad decisions. 

Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves. 

They forge themselves  into a creation of their own choosing based on realistic assessments of themselves, their conditions and the world that challenges them not to build himself. I wrote this essay to encourage you, but also to warn you that this building takes time, and you will meet all manner of resistance to the masculine project that is you.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

165 comments on “The Real You

  1. Rollo,
    Thank you for the Truth Bomb. I am still digesting my Red Pill. As you said, it will take time. My eye opener was when I first read that the Nice Guy wasn’t as special as I had always been told (he’s that 80% beta population). Since then I have started making myself my mental point of origin with six days a week lifting in the gym to transform my body. I am also transforming my mind.

    I just finished your third book Positive Masculinity. I was VERY impressed with your contrast of AROUSAL and ATTRACTION. I no longer care if I Attract women; I only care if I Arouse them.

    This is a long journey and I know I have only just begun. Thank you for being our guide.

  2. Just in case you’re wondering how far feminism has destroyed the last vestiges of any notion of Blue Pill romance…here’s your daily dose of Red Pill and just in time for Valentine’s Day…In Japan these ads were deemed offensive to their target customers “women”.

    https://www.mumbrella.asia/2019/02/loft-withdraws-valentines-day-campaign-for-japan-after-being-called-out-for-sexism

    Users on the social network asked why Loft was running down its primary audience — women — in an ad for chocolate.

    The pulling of this ad was seen as a victory. Meanwhile the shaming of white males in the Gillette ad is seen as some sort of milestone in breaking new ground in “manning up”.

  3. Great post, Rollo, thanks.

    I also take the opportunity to again thank many of the commentators here, who I think actually do want to see me succeed and give helpful advice well beyond JBY.
    Blax, HABD, KFG, IRL, Palmasailor, SJF, and especially Sentient come to my mind readily.

    I’d like IRL to post more but I imagine he is busy IRL…

  4. @Walawala: the ad at the bottom of the article where the girl is getting hit in the face by a couple of plates full of cream and then happily smearing the cream in her face is even better LOL. I wonder what the inspiration for that one was 😀

  5. “This begs the question, what is authenticity when it comes to ‘just being yourself’?
    I look in the mirror and see my faults and mistakes. I change and eat and build muscle

    “Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves.”
    Business and solitude The truth speaks for itself

    “They forge themselves into a creation of their own choosing based on realistic assessments of themselves, their conditions and the world that challenges them not to build himself.”

    Film Crafting yourself into a story of truth and legacy
    Man this is such a great post to rest upon

  6. ” But as I looked back on all of that I realized I had done so at the expense of myself – at the expense of my potential. That sacrifice will alwayslead a man to his own destruction.”

    This is or should be the key motivator. Stop self fucking sacrificing. Next step is make yourself your mental point of origin. Then find out what that means exactly in your context and act it out. Be fucking ruthless about it.

  7. @IAS Yes, that pie in the face/creampie ad was also seen as demeaning women. But any ad which depicts men as overweight indecisive “Delta Male” slobs…passes the SJW test for approved content.

  8. Rollo ease up on the big words,its enough just trying to become Red Pilled without not being sure of understanding the actual word in a sentence , this on my part knocks me off the hole meaning of your point when I come across words I never heard or read before. Please feel free to help me in this matter.

    Kindest regards Brian

  9. In my opinion, this is one of the better posts I’ve seen on here lately. I personally prefer the introspective, “this is my position: take from it what you will” style. Thanks for your contributions and helping men along their journey towards self-improvement.

  10. There is a feeling one gets when he gets out of school for the summer,quits that suck ass job or walks away from an abusive relationship. This feeling is freedom wrapped up in civil disobedience. This disobedience is alpha in its essence,and can be dangerous to society.

    Prisons are full of alphas that pushed this to far,crossing the line between thinking outside the box to causing harm to others. This is why alpha gets so much push back and pull back. Like shit tests and crab claws on the ass.

    The trick is to know the rules and the loopholes and don’t get caught. I think a lot of guys have never splashed in a puddle or tracked mud into the house,never ski’d out of bounds or even broke curfew. You have to start somewhere to break free from the “matrix”. Action towards non encroaching freedom.

  11. You have to start somewhere to break free from the “matrix”. Action towards non encroaching freedom.

    Used to be movies about this stuff…

    “What the Fuck gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.”

  12. “Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves. ”

    Very true. A guide:

    Step 1. “What do I want to do, right now?”
    Step 2: [does it]

    The Platinum Rule is a reliable way to start the process… [Do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it]

  13. The beta musician can copycat and hit all the notes just right,the alpha can take them bend,stretch,bounce,cut short and rearrange into a masterpiece. This doesn’t mean he can’t fit himself into a band.

  14. My destructive short lived marriage to a BPD girl is what brought me here to the Red Pill. How my personality changed to be what she wanted is exactly what you describe in this article. I had to hit the bottom before I was willing to open my eyes and truly make changes to be the man I want to be. Still a work in progress, but I am happier now than I have ever been in my life.

  15. @ Rollo

    The picture at the top of this blog post is too funny – captures exactly how guys often view themselves. I admit that in my dreams when I picture myself I always think of my ‘better’ self. However, when I wake up and look in the mirror, I chuckle and realize how powerful a motivator reality can be in the form of an image in a mirror….got a lot of work to still do, Smith, I say to that image.
    Funny, though – why does the guy in the image’ idealized self look like Putin?

  16. Just yesterday I thought you’ve only been RP for 2 years, for 26 years you’ve been fed shit. I don’t expect to become a pussy slayer after reading 3 game books etc. But one thing I have seen is how people challenge your frame. Your told what to do by every well meaning asshole under the sun. But the essence of TRP is to think for yourself.

  17. Excellent post. Your question, “What is authenticity when it comes to ‘just being yourself’?” can best be answered by stating you are what you do. Your “you” is mostly post-hoc rationalization. Acting in conformity with your “you” is one of the strongest principles of psychology (the “consistency principle”).

    Our actions express our values. The Red Pill is essentially amoral, thus it cannot provide you a telos (reason for being). It is but a means to an end. Otherwise, it is hollow and nihilistic. This is why, as you state:

    “Many a famous PUA has come to the conundrum of trying to make his Blue Pill idealistic dreams come true because he learned how to reliably ‘get the girl’. Good Game doesn’t make a man Red Pill aware. It’s certainly the gateway to understanding women’s nature.”

    As they say, “There was no ‘there’ there.” All Red Pill men must find a mission and purpose in life other than women (part of what Rollo calls “your frame”). A woman cannot fill that hole, cannot create that purpose. Otherwise, you fall into whatever society has currently programmed you to accept.

    As Viktor Frankl was fond of saying: “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

  18. There are two ways to read that drawing, you know — it could be the dog’s fantasy.

    The guy might have long since lost the ability to even dream.

  19. “Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves.”

    Thank you for writing this, a great way to extemporaneously explain the road you have to take to be the better you.

    A few years ago I was dumped by my girlfriend as she found out I was cheating on her. Surprisingly to me I found myself without any friends as she had directed our social life completely, and they all left with her. There I was for the first time since my twenties having to start all over in the SMP. I was overweight, fashionably clueless and had
    only one guy friend that still hung around even though I never saw him due to my ex telling me that he was beneath me.

    Needless to say that next year was probably the biggest test of who I was going to be for the rest of my life. For the first few months I was a blubbering mess begging my ex to take me back until she made it known that she had found someone new.

    I can’t really say what happened to make me start to focus on changing my mental point of origin but I realised that i was tired of treating myself like shit, I had never heard of MGTOW but I knew guys that became isolated after a breakup and well they just disappeared. I knew that wasn’t the way I was going to go, it wasn’t something that was in me. I learned to forgive myself and move on.

    Thank god i had that one friend of mine still as he encouraged me to join a gym to get my mind off of my ex, I was embarrassed at how out of shape i was but he kept me on track and the weight after awhile melted off and I became more defined and started receiving glances from women i thought were way out of my league. Started dressing better and well life has gotten way better.

    On a whim I found TRM, and then read the TRM book and well my eyes were opened. Life has really changed for me

    Now I’m not shacking up with some 25 hot bettie (that tells you how old i am) but i’m not afraid to approach women as the “rebuilt” me. I’m more genuine and not afraid to make women uncomfortable when I’m trying to smash. People who knew me from my past during my blue pill days don’t even recognise me anymore, and well that says a lot .

    I guess what i’m trying to say is that it takes work to become who you really want to be. Don’t be afraid to take that first step.

    TRM really does save lives!!!

  20. I’ve another opinion re: “Red Pill men don’t find themselves, they build themselves.”

    Being RP. aka authentic, living in accordance with our best interests, is a reductive process.

    Consider this: Picture yourself when you were your best self in your life. Were you an unalloyed you or something more to a degree?

    Was being your best self a building process, thinking about the next step in a grand development of masculinization or did you “just get it”, living life unadulterated? Was it difficult to do or relaxed? When did you feel most satisfied, competent and at peace with your lot vs. was your best self a high-pressure existence or something in between?

    Rollo describes moving back and forth between his BP and RP life. Every time he switched his approach it was painful to some degree. It’s painful disabusing onesself of delusional thinking. He wasn’t adding a new type of thinking rather returning to something trustworthy, authentic and valid. He finally settled on something sustainable; he chose a personality a lot less complicated, a lot more consequential and certain.

    Life’s like that at times. Less is more.

    Recall a lot of older guys here smashed it with women essentially broke and free from BP fantasies…and were happy as ever. Troubles arise when we mistake payroll, trips, toys, power, status, intellect, physical strength qua ourselves, believing all that accumulated makes us worthwhile. All that listed isn’t problematic per se. It IS a problem when we let all that transform us into charactures of ourselves. The BP world values that, you know, that which they can exploit. Buffers, DEERing, fear and all those other weaknesses allow for it. They tell us that we are worthwhile because we bring value to the world and they applaud then immediately ask you to do it again.

    They are wrong. You are valuable because YOU ARE.

    Full stop.

    I think we all understand when that exploitation happens IRT, at least intuitively, and negotiate what we must to survive as we please. I like eating too.

    BP men consider success in that negotiation a reflection of their value.

    RP men see it as simply a cost of life.

    There are many writers here comfortable in themselves. Some not so much. Who are overwrought in their descriptions of their lives, how they build and maintain that ideal of masculinity? Who aren’t?

    Goodnight.

  21. You want to be alpha? Never be controlled by women and always control them. You don’t need to be a huge, rich good looking guy to do that. You just have to understand how women manipulate you and why. You have The Rational Male to teach you how to do that.

    Also, any RP guys in Scotland? I need to build the tribe.

  22. Since finding this blog after a nasty breakup where I walked out of my apartment with nothing but a trash bag of work clothes and my laptop I found this blog to be eye opening and connected lots of dots.
    In the 2.5 years since that has happened, I’ve lost 35 lbs of fat, gained toned muscles, quit my job, live off my portfolio investments(I’m a professionally trained investor), grew a beard/long hair, have my own apartment in one of the most expensive cities in the country, and I’ve traveled all over ranging from Panama, Dubai, to the French and swiss Alps.
    I absolutely love the freedom I’ve created for myself and not that I really care but it works with women nearly 12-15 years younger than me. While this blog has helped some in the pick up department it’s the higher level view of what is REALLY going on that has helped. Any fear of the unknown has gone away and I’m able to maneuver myself and other things much better to my wanting now. Free strong men are definitely made through experience and willpower. I’ve had a great journey and I can’t wait to see how it continues.

  23. I will give a visual metaphor that explains what I think to be the truth about personal identity. Take a pile of wood, and a big stone. These two things both have potential, but potential for different things. I can make a house and a ship out of the wood, but if I try to make a statue it will have problems. From the stone, I can make a better house, and a better statue, but the ship will be horrible, it will sink. Think of personality like this, we each have potential based upon a certain “character”, but this character can actualize certain archetypes well, but not others. The whole idea of authenticity or personal identity boils down to this. If someone is saying that the statue is not authentic because it is no longer a block of marble, then this is clearly false, the statue is the potential of the marble actualized, it is who you are in a more actual state. Anybody who states that you are not being authentic because you are trying to better yourself is toxic, and you should get away from this person. On the other hand, if your personality is this block of marble, and you are trying to build a ship, then you are doomed to fail, it will not happen.

    Here is an example, take someone has mild Aspergers. Now, this is a good example of stone as opposed to wood. If this person tries to be cocky / funny in a playful manner, then he most likely will come across as a dork, and will “sink”. On the other hand, if someone with Aspergers goes down the route of the “little philosopher”, and not the “little professor”, he will find a natural inclination towards more of a Byronic masculinity. The stronger passions, the more reflective nature, and the stronger sense of self-identity will create a stone statue as opposed to a wooden statue.

    < a href = “https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01639620600721411”>https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01639620600721411

  24. @ Rollo
    This post would be a great opener for the next book. At the very least a series of upcoming posts.
    Your time and effort is appreciated. Excellent art work as well.

  25. Most men can be anything they want to be, and so anything they want to do.

    The very first step is to understand this and internalize it.

    Then you gotta gain whatever knowledge needed and get to work.

    As age advances, I realize that time will limit my ability to do all that’s possible ( that I’d like to do ). Not enough years left. Hell, I’m still trying to fit learning to fly into a reasonable schedule.

    The problem guys bump into is maintaining motivational fire while constantly being pulled in other directions and distracted. Everything always seems to come back to mental point of origin. What do you think of yourself and your capabilities? Do you feel capable and worthy?

    A majority of men will never ever come close to realizing their full potential. This is due to lack of understanding, lack of motivation and effort, lack of time.

    One of the most she opening things I’ve ever encountered was the phenomenon of putting time and time of effort into a single thing, and having that thing cause a dozen benefits in what seemed to be totally unrelated things. It’s like dedication and effort pays 10 fold.

    And this will start to make clear, without a doubt, that you can be anything you want to be – positive or negative. Especially since the advent of the ” information highway ” 😁. Shit, I’ve been able to learn geometrically more in the last 25 years of life than the first 25.

    But it’s what I learned in that first 25 years of life that informs the last 25 – I can do anything I want to do. Lol, it’s liberating and comforting and terrifying all at once.

    So it is right and good that Rollo writes a piece like this.

  26. “I wrote this essay to encourage you, but also to warn you that this building takes time, and you will meet all manner of resistance to the masculine project that is you.”

    Ah, Yes. Resistance, it is always there. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to wage war against Resistance.:

    https://therationalmale.com/2018/05/07/emotional-differences/comment-page-3/#comment-251254

    Refer to the comment that starts like this:

    @Rugby and Marelius

    One of the biggest stumbling blocks is those Walls in front of you. Those walls are Resistance. Your job is to make those walls lower, so you step over them like they are small, not huge and insurmountable.

    Clinging to old subconscious beliefs is a cry for returning to safety when you meet Resistance.

    Steven Pressfield talks about resistance in the beginning of his book Do The Work:

  27. @palmasailor

    Shit, that is not much of a tribe. Worthwhile getting in contact though. Do you have a usable email address? I only have addresses with my name in them and I’m fucking paranoid about putting them up!

  28. I’m just about to finish positive masculinity for the second time. 1st in book format second in audio book. I’ve listened to the rational male and preventive medicine about 20 times between the two. Things such as female solipsism and mental point of origin are not simple concepts to properly under stand to a point where you can see examples before your own eyes. I got dumped last year by someone I loved for th first time. I’m 34.

    That set the wheels in motion to answer some familiar questions.

    I think I listened to the RM in June last year for the first time.

    Last night I decided to take a full year off dating and women. Sure if opportunities present themselves where I don’t have to waste time ill indulge.

    I did extensive work on myself last year. This year I’ll continue that.

    Personally I don’t see any rush.

    When we are 60 we should be banging 30 year olds.

    At 40 we can be banging 20 year olds.

    I’m definately not in to 30 year olds anyway.

    To get back to the point – The RM series, along with a biblical understanding of game should be so thoroughly ingrained in your brain you’d have to have it surgically removed to change them beliefs.

    But first killing all those old fucked up beliefs and behaviours.

    Get it done save yourself.

    I’m certainly not going to be a willing participant in the feminine primacy socialistic trope being jammed up my arse

  29. On the FR thread, Blax asks:

    But kissing, fingering, titty and was squeezing isn’t ” cheating ” imo. Is that strange?

    This ties in to something I’ve been thinking about since Rollo posted this:

    They want a mantra to repeat or a set of steps to follow that will shift them from Beta virgin into Alpha cad.

    Well, maybe not ‘cad’.

    And that is – can one be Alpha and not a “cad”?

    That’s the question I pose to the assembled. I’m sure it is contentious.

    My working hypothesis is “No”. With a qualifier, which is “cad” is defined as having some kind of extra-relational physical contact (as described by Blax) with other women. My reasoning is that Alpha is so attractive to women even if one worked to AVOID physical contact with other women, it is essentially impossible to do so… smoke, spark fire… continuum.

    You might be able to pull back from a total conflagration, but you can’t beat Mother Nature completely.

    Thoughts?

    [For the avoidance of doubt ASD – dancing does not fit the description. End of.]

  30. Yea, that’s the ticket man. Gotta “build” a new SELF, a better SELF. Make it a real SELF make it an authentic SELF. Its all about SELF, your SELF, developing your SELF, isn’t it now?

    You will encounter a lot of resistance. It will take time. The world is against you. The only way is to “become “authentic”” Kill the beta, become alpha, be authentic……

    It’s all building a new SELF, developing a new SELF to get with hotter women, and so your new SELF will enable you to be happier about your SELF…

    ….because YOU were never controlling anything begin with.

    So now you want to develop your SELF, change your personality, “become your “authentic” SELF… because the “SELF” you have isn’t cutting the fucking mustard. You need a new SELF or you need to morph your current SELF into a different SELF…the world conned, tricked, brainwashed and conditioned you into forming the wrong SELF.

    …but the SELF that is you is you.

    YOU ARE YOU.

    All this asstard mental masturbation blather about “SELF” may be intoxicating to pathetic weaklings…

    ….desperate for ANY post modern messiah or bard to define questions, of SELF and what to do with SELF.

    Such questions are for frightened weaklings who hide from the world to suckle on the illusion of “self”.

    But, the world is full of endless opportunities.

    The questions worth asking is not about “SELF”.

    The questions worth asking are..

    “What the fuck AM I doing?”
    “What opportunities are available?”
    “What the fuck AM I going to do about them?”

    “Why the fuck not?”

  31. @Sentient

    “Thoughts?”

    A man’s got to do what he has to do to achieve his objectives. He forges himself into who he wants to to be.

    He might need to cheat the system. I had referred to this before with stories BluePillProfessor was telling me.

    The Gordian Knot.

    https://www.history.com/news/what-was-the-gordian-knot

    Or The Kobayashi Maru.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru

    The amoral point of the story/exercise is that a man’s got to cheat when a man has got to cheat.

    But sometimes going full Cad is not necessary to achieve his objectives.

    To each man his own.

    It was interesting, I could never get into Dalrock. One of my buddies is a single-man Cad, post three marriages. He was an ardent follower of reading Heartiste and Dalrock. He read the entire bible this past year. But I digress. Recently I read some good shit from Dalrock. Dalrock was responding to some questions in his recent posts, and he described himself as being the only self declared Beta in the Manosphere. Yet he seems to achieve his objectives.

    Rollo has described himself as a long standing Lesser Alpha, Greater Beta.

    Monogamy is not a promise, it’s a system. All systems change depending on who’s inside the system. Monogamy operates differently for any man depending on his circumstances. Only a fool would promise it. It is not a static commitment. But choices can be made. Depending on how well put together a man is, it is not really an issue.

    It gets back to something that EhIntellect and Roused had to hammer into me this last year (and they finally) got through my thick brain, buffers and blind spots: It’s not about sex. Hard to believe, but it’s about living a full life. Being a Man in Full.

  32. Usually I’ve rejected the term/label ” cad “, but reading sentient’s take on the definition, I’d describe myself as a cad .

    I mean, we guys walk around all the time noticing how hot or how fine a woman is. But what do they think? What do they think about us when we embody masculinity and are unapologetic about it? This is a two way street imho. Circumstances keep trying to train us as men to fall into a feminine frame.😝 is

    Yet all of that shit in romance novels and 50 shades of bullshit are telling. Spend time around women and listen to what they dream and fantasize about. Their fantasies are in direct alignment with a males masculine desires. They pay lip service to being chaste and dignified and honorable, and sometimes with very good reasons.

    But awalt. Deep down.

    And a man cannot be a world class boot knocker without realizing this. Women will assume the average guy is incapable of being forceful in what he wants. Unfortunately nowadays feminism is trying to convince the masses that if a man happens to slip up a bit, he’s an abusive rapist.

    Wrong direction for the genders. It will only make things worse.

    So it’s risky now to advise men to boldly express their sexuality in a manly fashion, even though that’s what women cream themselves over.

    Buuttt….. Smoke ‘ em if ya got ‘ em.

  33. @Daniel

    I got dumped last year by someone I loved for th first time. I’m 34.<

    I was a prodigy or something. I got dumped at 21, lol. At the time, it was the end of the world, but not after ten years, lol. I was “in love” = full of heroin juice (oxytocin). It’s fine to love, but it shouldn’t be your be all and end all. I still love all my girls, but I’m not “in love” with any of them.

    @Sentient

    Can an alpha really cheat? It’s easy for married men to be caught in vows of exclusivity to God. Better to avoid exclusivity in those vows.

    In any case, kissing, playing with titties and pussy is NBD if you are careful (don’t kiss anything that looks skankerous), even given vows of exclusivity. Even a girl giving you a handjob is NBD. It seems to me that penetration is what breaks the exclusivity vow. And don’t kiss strange pussy. You can pick up nasty shit.

    Don’t hurt your wife’s ego by doing it where she will find out.

    Other than that, no big deal and lots of freedom.

  34. IMHO most attractive and fun women are BPD to some degree. It seems to be a factor of being attractive and the kind of attention that attraction perpetrates. A young attractive woman is clueless to the responses she generates in men. Her own defenses and adaptations are what develops and enhances the BPD. I go into relating knowing this and prepared for the creative ways to instigate her passion and look for how to diffuse the bizarre when she treads on that “borderline”. The BPD episodes are little more than shit tests taken to extreme, likely because her previous shit tests had little effect on me. Of course I don’t hang around longer than necessary to get down to drilling and boring. Then its time to pack up the tools and split for the next actual jobsite, or BPD plumbing call. It took til 60 to get past the desire to tame one of these she-monsters to a wife or live-in or some ridiculous compromise of my own house rules. Post 60, young girls are easy and willing and respectful of a man with a life of his own. But the operative is that your life is your own. You don’t share it or compromise it. A woman can sense this and will constantly acknowledge that you must be busy, she wills always be apologizing, and accommodating. Just like in sales…”always be closing”is the mantra. Whether closing the deal on her intimacy or in reverse, always have her in accommodation mode. If she is apologizing for anything, the condition of her house, her hair, her clothes, etc, you know that she wants to please. Maintaining that mode is the feedback loop that assures you that she is reading you as alpha.

    BTW, keeping your self in shape in order to reach 60 is the key to experiencing the scenarios described. If one turns to shlub and over the hill at 40, 50, 60 or god help you, 30, forget it. Chicks dig men. They like boys for fun but men turn them on. Maturity cannot be bought or developed. It comes with age and experience. Women are keenest in spotting maturity and vitality.

  35. Young attractive women aren’t as clueless as you want to imagine.

    If they aren’t mentally incapacitated in some fashion, they start to ” learn ” shortly after puberty. They might not grasp the mechanism fully, but they notice the results.

    With the popularity of that devil called social media, attractive women get the lion’s share of thirsty attention from males, but mostly all young girls will get spikes in attention after puberty hits.

    This, is biology at work.

  36. ” . . . they start to ” learn ” shortly after puberty.”

    And have learned the basic mechanisms of manipulating men well before that, but lack the art, so if you watch them carefully you can see them performing the calculations. Coming up on birthdays and Christmas it can be particularly obvious.

  37. If they aren’t mentally incapacitated in some fashion, they start to ” learn ” shortly after puberty.

    If they aren’t mentally incapacitated in some fashion, they start to ” learn ” shortly after being born.”

    fify

  38. @kfg: 20% is extremely high. I think part of that is that the population of people getting tests done has higher prevalence than the general population.

  39. @IAS:

    Self-selection biases can be funny things. I take as a working hypothesis that not only are the men getting these tests likely to already have their suspicions, but that men who decline to get these tests also do so for the same suspicions.

  40. @KFG:
    AWALT and all, I myself even before being RP defended that testing should be done at birth.
    I found some tables on an article, allegedly from this paper (I don’t have free access to it)
    https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/504167

    If the tables are correct there were some groups (socioeconomic / geographic) with up to around 10% “nonpaternity” (nice euphemism there), but mostly it was 3% or under.

    Although I also want to point out that even if it was “just” 1% and if it was something else (an interesting analog would be maternity swaps), it would be an “epidemic” taken seriously… But because it is what it is and next to nobody cares about (beta) males there is not much done e.g. legally to protect against this… In some cases I think “nonpaternity” men that had paid child support after divorce rapes successfully claim some back when they find out, that is about it.

  41. @IAS:

    That study itself isn’t about overall paternity rates (although it obviously relies on them), but about how accurate men’s self-assessment of paternity is. Men who are sure the kid is theirs are wrong circa 2% of the time.

    I can’t get to it either and it will probably be months before I can get to someone who can get to it for me. I haven’t been so much as on a campus this winter. I might have to actually consider buying it.

    As I noted the other day, being told that I’m in the top 1% at online Jeopardy doesn’t tell me whether I’m crap or doing well. 1% is huuuuuuge.

    And if it were revealed that 0.1% of mothers were given the wrong baby at the hospital the screams would bring the world to a halt until something was done about it.

  42. ““IMHO most attractive and fun women are BPD to some degree.”

    Women vary in how much drama they need. It’s like a drug. Some develop immunity and need higher levels. Like any junkie, they will manipulate and deceive to get their drugs.

  43. “The article that has the tables which purportedly are in that paper is here . . .”

    And those are complied from 67 other studies. I’d want to see those. I see that a lot of the sample sizes are tiny.

    “The author of the article puts the usual spin on it . . . ”

    Yeah, I remember its publication and the “Don’t worry guys, it’s only 3% so everything’s just peachy” spin. I’ll note that the 30% number isn’t just pulled out of the air, it comes from a reported observation of blood types by hospital staff in Britain – during WWII. It is suggestive that during times of war there will an increased incidence of War Brides. Who woulda thunk?

  44. @kfg

    I wonder about distribution. Assuming 30% of offspring are cuckoos, does this impact 60% of husbands, or do the same women cuck their husbands? And is the distribution the same between rural and city, or is there disparity?

    I don’t expect answers, but the questions are intriguing.

  45. I found this:

    For gonorrhea, rates in urban areas were significantly higher among white males (15.5/100,000), black males (519.6/100,000), and black females (414.2/100,000) as compared to rural populations.

    The literature suggests that reported infection rates for both chlamydia and gonorrhea are substantially higher in the southern region of United States as compared to other parts of the country

    https://www.gapha.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Raychowdhury-STD-2008.pdf

  46. eYou’ve ” found ” your ” studies ” for years. You’ve made those kind are statements for years as well. It must make you feel better for something.

    I could site ” studies ” as well, but they’d hurt your feelings or you’d just outright reject them, because that’s how your brain spits and sputters around in your skull.😂

    Because a ” study of paper ” asserts that 30-60% of children are born to men that aren’t the ” husband “, then that settles it, right? There’s no discussion arguing accuracy or numbers. Ever.

    That ” toxic masculinity ” apa paper was 100% on point, because ” paper/study/academic “.

    No.

    It’s only pertinent to motherfuckers that want to believe in such a thing for their own personal reasons.

    Feelz, not facts – paper or not.

    There are no special people by region of the country. Particularly women , or are you sighting some kind of NAWALT defense?

  47. I have to find a study about whether autism comes with a childlike fear of stds or something. Asd has prattled on forever about these things, even though he has an n count of precisely 1.

    Too much reading, not enough real world.

  48. NAWALT

    There are studies that show that virginity at the time of marriage correlates to a lower divorce rate. However, this may merely be an irrelevant artifact of a time when women were more likely to be virgins because of training and this training also mitigated against divorce. The percent of women under 25 who are virgins is reported to be low (~6%, IIRC). These studies may show the benefit of training rather than the likelihood of virginity being a bulwark against divorce.

    NB

    Blax has shown that Newton is in error because Newton only did a study and Blax is now campaigning to repeal the Law of Gravity.

  49. Naw, I see gravity every single day when I stand.

    You should see it when you have your head so far up your was because it takes an appropriate amount of force to achieve.

  50. 😂😂

    Yeah. According to Asd, my 11 year old goddaughter isn’t a virgin, nor are most girls in elementary schools because the number of virgins under 25 is -6%.

  51. @kfg you responded to my post….

    “IMHO most attractive and fun women are BPD to some degree.”

    Snap out of it.

    Snap out of what? That I don’t give chicks much credit for having their shit together. Well I don’t. Do you? I’ll go a step further for the sake of bringing out the beta in you. All women are BPD to some degree, and I have women who will back up that statement. Sounds like you’re a unicornishian pedestalfiliac, dude. Snap out of it.

  52. Since the topic du jour is gravity, comedy and BPD’s I take a moment and relay the gravity of the situation when dealing with BPD women so as not to encourage dark comedy in the lives of any lurkers. The following statement is one of the most poignant and true statements that encapsulate your life with a BPD woman if you so choose to make that choice;

    “I hate you so much, don’t you ever ever fucking leave me.”

  53. For Rollo… Looks like other media writers converging on your ideals … Link below sites some studys and articles that may be of interest…. Interesting that Harry’s (razor company) commissioned a study of men’s happiness and references Positive Masculinity

    https://youtu.be/hnqBgmkR9UI

  54. Sorry, I got the stat wrong. It’s 6% of women who are marrying are virgins. Of course, that includes non-first marriages. The percent of women who are virgins when marrying for the first time is probably about 11%.

  55. How exactly do you know that?

    Question for you, how many studies have you been a part of? Questionnaires filled out?

    How many ” people ” do you actually know? How many women outside of your immediate family are you very familiar with ( not counting dancing )?

    I don’t know if that percentage is correct or if it’s bullshit, but I don’t buy it according to what i actually know, experienced and understand.

    Are all those vawa studies and data correct more broadly?

  56. Hmmm. I’m not sure I agree with the framing in this essay. I certainly believe a man can and must adapt a mindset based on a Red Pill view of the world. And that Blue Pill worldviews are changeable.

    But moving from beta to alpha? This is shit we get baked into us when we are young children. Yes, of course it’s a choice, a decision – not some biological trait – but it comes when you are very young and decide who you are going to be in the world. I’ve seen different developmental models, and I think being more dominant or more submissive happens very young.

    In my case it came from growing up in an environment in which you either stood up for yourself or got picked on and beat up regularly. Me? You threw down with me and you were in for a fucking fight. I decided at 7 years old that the only way to face a bully or someone threatening you is to go full fucking maniac on them.

    It makes women hot…The 21yo HB8, who I’ve put on simmer as the cray-cray is a little high with her, tells me I reek of a bygone alpha maleness she craves but sees as utterly absent in her generation. It’s not that I go around starting fights – I don’t. But get in my face? Insult me? Be an asshole or a phony or mistreat me? I’ll destroy you. If I can’t beat you up, I’ll run you over with my fucking car.

    Social dominance isn’t a choice for me. Social intelligence is though, using dominance strategically, and also realizing that a little can go a long way with women. They also need comfort, and funnily, my real growth in game came when I focused on comfort as much as dominance.

    I forced the end of my marriage cuz I had too much self-respect, too much “being my own mental point of origin”. Even as I had low self-esteem and women on a pedestal. Even as I was blue pill as shit, I gave my erstwhile wife a “dread” heart attack when I was 28 that changed her from a cold, nasty bitch to a nymphomaniac who cooked for me too, in a matter of weeks. But I was not consciously competent.

    I’ve been leader in most things that I do. People seek my advice. People ask to mentor them and I have helped many people in that way. I’m a senior executive. My strategic input is sought after and valuable.

    I don’t know how to be otherwise. I don’t think a man who’s been a blue pill pussy his whole life can change that. Sure, he can become Red Pill, but then he’s either gonna hate himself or go MGTOW (same thing, ultimately…).

    Women sense this shit in the back of their brains. I get eyefucking in ridiculous situations, at 56, running around with my 9yo nephew and 13yo niece today, the hottie at B-Good (healthy fastish food, nice) couldn’t help but throw some IOI at me, lol.

    I think betas will make themselves miserable trying to “alpha up”. I get it, it sucks being beta sometimes. But then again, you never risk being called an asshole or losing a fight.

    And of course all alpha’s are cads, to some pussies and women. Just not to other alphas. Game recognizes game.

    Take Blax. Sure, I think he’s incredibly full of shit – but he’s clearly a natural alpha. He reeks of social dominance. He sees the world analytically and strategically and sees himself as a powerful actor in it with choice. Even if it isn’t true, such men still see themselves as powerful. It’s a stance, not an accurate take on things. It’s an unwillingness to be bowed. Put it this way – I wouldn’t hang out with Blax, but I’d take him in a foxhole next to me in a fight any day of the week cuz I know he’s not a pussy.

    Most of the rest of you fucks? Best way to improve my chances of survival if unlucky enough to find myself side by side with you in a fight would be to take you out first before you fucked everything up. Cuz you are a pussy. There is no blog you can read to change that.

    You guys are pussies cuz you chose to be, long ago. That day in grade school when you let the big kid make fun of you. Me? When the 280 lb kid decided to fight me in 8th grade on the bus cuz I was the new kid in the neighborhood? I fought like a madman – even if I didn’t win. He ended up just laying on me on a seat, busdriver pulled us apart. Even as he was squishing me, I was fighting still. Clawing, shoving, punching, kicking – didn’t matter, that fucking piece of shit bully would not make me give up. Period. Never touched me again, fyi…

    You guys? You ran. You begged for him to stop. You ran and told your parents or a teacher. You just laid there and took it. And guess what? Women and the rest of society accurately observes that’s who you are. That’s where you fit in. You are a follower, not a leader. You back down when real men bow up. You are quiet when you should shout. But you took much less risk, got your ass kicked far less and didn’t look like an asshole ever. Good, you got your payoff.

    Don’t dare think you can just wish your way to being different. I get my payoffs too, and they are extraordinary. But they come from a lifetime of taking chances most of you are too cowardly to take.

    Betas should get comfortable with sex workers, cuz that’s what’s best for them. Any woman they bed willingly is going to be doing it for the provisioning and to have a ‘partner’, a situation which will eventually turn on them cuz no matter what, all women crave alpha. They crave it deep in their souls and pussies. And when women are fucking you betas schlubbs, they are wishing it was me instead, treating them like the filthy sluts they so badly want to be. But just can’t muster up the desire to be that way with you.

    The Red Pill promises you exactly nothing. In fact, for most of you the truth about your lot in our social order is bad news, you will feel worse after learning it all. Only an alpha is truly happy after the Red Pill cuz, at least in my case, it allowed me to truly own and grasp my own power without guilt. And to embrace what I want and how i want it without compunction. And I’m having it and getting it, more than ever, with more ease than ever. The more I’m “me”, the more it works.

  57. Well you are certainly a breath of fresh Alpha air, Scribbler in a doldrums of comments.

    Thanks for the No Shit Sherlock advice.

    “The Red Pill promises you exactly nothing.”

    That is certain. It only informs.

    “In fact, for most of you the truth about your lot in our social order is bad news, you will feel worse after learning it all.”

    Yes. You did once, too. But you took your balls in your own hands and dug yourself out. Good for you. Others have that chance. too.

    “Only an alpha is truly happy after the Red Pill cuz, at least in my case, it allowed me to truly own and grasp my own power without guilt.

    Solipsistic statement. Dalrock (self admitted Beta, but kills it with biblical Red Pill is agentic as all get out. Keep in mind Alpha/Beta are placeholders for appearance and attitude.) Rollo has no bones about his status. Neither do I. It’s not about Alpha and full on hormonal AMOG. It is about agency and getting what you want to get. (Once a guy gets that it’s not about sex, god forbid, then he really gets it. I’m not sure you’re at that point. I’m pretty sure Blax is.)

    Some of us guys have a collaborative alliance with a girl in a long term relationship that is good via Red Pill. With desire sex 2-3 time a week in MRP/or LTR. On the regular. But the funny part is in order to get there, we had to “just get it” that it not about sex. It’s about embracing the stuff you are talking about Scribbs. Just getting it and having it be natural. (And no, there is not a paradox there…)

    Despite what you knew of me in 2015, Scribs, I Reconstructed via Red Pill. (Think what you may.) And, …Not that there is anything wrong with STR’s. You do you.

    There is That: contrast with having a collusive alliance with women. Don’t make necessity a virtue.

    “And to embrace what I want and how i want it without compunction.”

    Yes. By all means. That is Red Pill. And it benefits your woman. Good for you.

    “And to embrace what I want and how i want it without compunction. And to embrace what I want and how i want it without compunction.

    The key is to go back and be the you you were when young, where you did what you wanted to before someone restricted you, via socialization. Red Pill informs you to go back and re-create that feeling. Via Game.

    Be the you you want to be. Not to change to conform to someone else’s reality. That’s Red Pill. And for the life of gods, if you are not who you want, you understand Red Pill truths and take them to the bank, reflect, then cash in on Mastery. If you are not who you want to be, you transform. Reconstruct. Be who you want to be. Do the Work.

    Thanks for telling us about yourself.

    But enough of your solipsism. Don’t turn yourself into your own god. You still have to operate with true intention with your ego moderated. Ego moderation also helps you get along with other guys in collaboration. For them to help you and you to help them. It’s a a privilege to hang with guys that have your best interests in hand. To not be a dick to them.

    Don’t forget there are other men here and there, that in real life or online, that may be worth a collaborative alliance, Mr. AMOG. You against the world, having your life all sorted out.

    And don’t bother criticizing me in response. I don’t need external validation or criticism.

  58. Well, the 15 minutes to edit is certainly a bit short Rollo.

    I tried to edit my sub-comms to Scribbler in which I was trying to communicate to him to not be such an AMOG dick. Cause guess what? Not everyone is the same. Everyone had potential to masculine self improve and get laid.

    So I’ll repeat this for effect, with edits from above:

    Well you are certainly a breath of fresh Alpha air, Scribbler in a doldrums of comments.

    Thanks for the No Shit Sherlock advice.

    “The Red Pill promises you exactly nothing.”

    That is certain. It only informs.

    “In fact, for most of you the truth about your lot in our social order is bad news, you will feel worse after learning it all.”

    Yes. You did once, too. But you took your balls in your own hands and dug yourself out. Good for you. Others have that chance. too.

    “Only an alpha is truly happy after the Red Pill cuz, at least in my case, it allowed me to truly own and grasp my own power without guilt.

    Solipsistic statement. Dalrock (self admitted Beta, but kills it with biblical Red Pill is agentic as all get out. Keep in mind Alpha/Beta are placeholders for appearance and attitude.) Rollo has no bones about his status. Neither do I. It’s not about Alpha and full on hormonal AMOG. It is about agency and getting what you want to get. (Once a guy gets that it’s not about sex, god forbid, then he really gets it. I’m not sure you’re at that point. I’m pretty sure Blax is.)

    Some of us guys have a collaborative alliance with a girl in a long term relationship that is good via Red Pill. With desire sex 2-3 time a week in MRP/or LTR. On the regular. But the funny part is in order to get there, we had to “just get it” that it not about sex. It’s about embracing the stuff you are talking about Scribbs. Just getting it and having it be natural. (And no, there is not a paradox there…)

    Despite what you knew of me in 2015, Scribs, I Reconstructed via Red Pill. (Think what you may.) And, …Not that there is anything wrong with STR’s. You do you.

    There is That: contrast with having a collusive alliance with women. Don’t make necessity a virtue.

    “And to embrace what I want and how i want it without compunction.”

    Yes. By all means. That is Red Pill. And it benefits your woman. Good for you.

    “And to embrace what I want and how i want it without compunction. And to embrace what I want and how i want it without compunction.

    The key is to go back and be the you you were when young, where you did what you wanted to before someone restricted you, via socialization. Red Pill informs you to go back and re-create that feeling. Via Game.

    Be the you you want to be. Not to change to conform to someone else’s reality. That’s Red Pill. And for the life of gods, if you are not who you want, you understand Red Pill truths and take them to the bank, reflect, then cash in on Mastery. If you are not who you want to be, you transform. Reconstruct. Be who you want to be. Do the Work.

    Thanks for telling us about yourself.

    But enough of your solipsism. Don’t turn yourself into your own little mini-god whether you are religious or not. It’s bad mind-Karma.

    You still have to operate with true intention with your ego moderated (you being your own mini-god results in blind spots. Something and someone is bigger than you in the scheme of things. I.e, you don’t know everything, you might be wrong, What you think you know might be wrong, Ego wise. This is not to say you are wrong, it is to say you are not a god and you might be wrong for yourself at times. Reflect on when that was the case in your life Scribs….Don’t go forward repeating the same things you did before. At least don’t be a dick in front of other men who are seeking Alpha). Ego moderation also helps you get along with other guys in collaboration. For them to help you and you to help them. It’s a a privilege to hang with guys that have your best interests in hand. To not be a dick to them.

    (Notwithstanding the dust-up in The Red Man Group. Which I do understand The Red Man Group does not want to make an issue of. Egos and all.)

    Women talk about people, men talk about things.

    Some need to keep their ego in check, because everybody has something to contribute in a different way.

    Furthermore, in the discussion, Rollo brings up the fact that Red Pill is not trying to poach elements from the MGTOW. Mgtow is welcome to come into Red Pill, but Red Pill is not trying to poach them. This was a factor. Rollo says this, but it was evident that Anthony Johnson was trying to piss off elements of MGTOW with citing DDJ. (Rollo states 21 convention is a separate entity from 21 Convention and Anthony.)

    The manosphere benefits by commonality, not by disagreement en force. We’re all different and the differences should not be celebrated, or our enemies will lord it over on us. Conflict for the sake of conflict is drama. Drama is for women.

    It’s not the why. It’s the What.–me reflecting on what was said and quoting somewhat of what was said on RMG 53….

    Don’t forget there are other men here and there, that in real life or online, that may be worth a collaborative alliance, Mr. AMOG. You against the world, having your life all sorted out.

    And don’t bother criticizing me in response. I don’t need external validation or criticism. I’m who I want to be. Otherwise I would change with mastery.

  59. “Scribs, you suck at calibrating people, even worse than me.”

    Irrelevant.

    It’s not about taking shots at other commenters. It’s not.

    It’s about the Red Pill way of life.

    If Red Pill life is not about collaborating with other men in the manosphere? WTF?

    The manosphere was invented to move forward in life with a purpose. Not to bitch like a girl.

    It’s not about emotions. It’s about getting something done. I respect Scribbler a huge amount for doing his thing (now, and in the raw, it’s fantastic stuff for him) and moving forward for the last four years. A lot of respect. He’s done great things for himself. He pulled himself out of the largest hole anyone has ever dug himself into. I got nothing bad to say for him, except for the fact that he can’t play well with other masculine males….He was subordinate for so long, that it burns him so bad to play with other masculine males. He also can’t take masculine criticism, which is an obvious reflection of a male’s relationship with his father. A guy can take masculine criticism if he had a decent relationship with his father, in masculine regard. So there is that.

    And he helped dig me out of hole in 2015. Then he ghosted me. I resented that for about two seconds, then moved on. It’s quite common to have that happen on a Red Pill hero’s Journey.

    And then I got other buddies. And then I really took off with guys I resonated with (offline). That’s the key: Pick guys in the Red Pill you resonate with and don’t actually worry about all the rest. Don’t suffer the noise. Get in tune with your signal. (There is nothing wrong with guys you don’t resonate that are getting self actualized. You know, like Tate and McQueen and Scribs. They are great guys, good at being self actualized men. They are great exemplars of Red Pill. It’s wise to know the difference. And change the things that you can.)

    And I agree, all you other guys should emulate moving forward like he did, I did, we all should do.

  60. Gentlemen, it has been an interesting summer rebuilding myself since my last less than inspired post. For those who don’t recall (not that i would expect anyone to), I got together with a sweet hippy chick 25 years my junior at a music festival i was playing at. Anyways, we never got together again and I once again sunk into my needy little bitch state for some time. Since then I have quit social media (have not missed it for a second), quit drinking and smoking pot, started hitting the weights with more regularity, and becoming a left-wing apostate. Been inspired by the ZFG attitude of Milo Yiannopolous, Katie Hopkins, Ben Shapiro, Tommy Robinson and other more conservative social commentators. It’s feels good to be finally liberating myself from the shackles of all the PC bullshit, and going deeper within to find the real me. I can’t believe that what they say is resonating so deeply in me. Not really worrying about women so much, just loving riding my bike and getting on with life. Got a 2 day ride over the mountains with a whole bunch of folk I haven’t ridden with before heading to the World Superbikes on Phillip Island next week. The couple I know in this pack are awesome, and he’s as Alpha as you get and a local hard man motorbike legend, so it feels good to know that I have got my riding skills together enough to ride with this crew. Very few women will give you a ride as good as a fast sports bike will (if you can ride), but they all want to to be around men who ride bikes. It’s quite amusing, actually. You can talk to any chick of any age when you’re in your leathers and they all respond positively. Some even get a little flushed. I’m finally shedding my old skin and ditching things that don’t serve me (booze & pot especially) and not letting a subliminal fear of the insane PC world get in my way any longer…

  61. The most difficult thing for me was coming to grips with “women are masochists”. I didn’t care much for S&M. At all. I was Red Pilled at age 18 (The Fall of 1962). But I still wanted to believe that women were “pure” and loving.

    I have been Red Pilling the OL – not because it was a good idea – but because I wanted to know what it might be like if she understood her nature and accepted and worked with it. She is starting to get it. And funny enough she actually likes it. She is facing her need for excitement and that being an M provides it – if I do my part correctly and hit her buttons. She is starting to like her fear of loss and the follow up reconciliation. Consciously.

    I don’t suggest this for one night stands or short term relationships. For those demonstration is far superior to explanation. It is also difficult because of socialization and the ever present hamster. To make it work she has to give up her hamster. Very difficult. “How does that make you feel” is what i used to get her to reach her core. But it has taken years.

    Note: The S I provide is strictly emotional. And funny enough after years of practice I’m beginning to like it. And the bonding is incredible.

  62. https://therationalmale.com/2019/02/11/the-real-you/comment-page-2/#comment-270267

    The Silver FoX,

    Pot and alcohol use to “excess” is a symptom of PTSD. Unresolved PTSD. When the PTSD is resolved (mostly) at least the excess falls away. If it is a struggle you have not resolved the underlying cause. Long term PTSD is genetic, but it needs a trauma trigger. About 20% of the population has the genetics. And something like half of those get the trigger.

  63. @SJF

    It’s helpful for men to point out a lack of calibration to each other. It’s something you do for another man in the tribe.

    Sometimes people give off signals for various strategic reasons that might seem weak, but are actually clever.

    It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Prov. 20:3)

    The proverb doesn’t mean that a man should abandon his mates when they are in a firefight.

    Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. (Prov. 3:3-4)

    “Love” in this context has to do with loyalty to your tribe.

  64. Note: The S I provide is strictly emotional. And funny enough after years of practice I’m beginning to like it. And the bonding is incredible.

    This ties in with my assertion that women need drama from time to time and will create drama if they don’t get it. Women who need more drama are often called “BPD.” The way to handle them is to create drama whenever they give off signals that they need drama. Calibration.

    SJF, do you sense a theme in my recent postings?

    NB

    Physical sadism with old ladies can lead to trips to the ER and possibly land you in court when a medical care provider turns you in like they are required to do.

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