A New Hope


hope

Towards the end of The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill I wrote this:

The truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make truth hurt any less, nor does it make truth any prettier, and it certainly doesn’t absolve you of the responsibilities that truth requires. One of the biggest obstacles guys face in unplugging is accepting the hard truths that Game forces upon them. Among these is bearing the burden of realizing what you’ve been conditioned to believe for so long were comfortable ideals and loving expectations are really liabilities. Call them lies if you want, but there’s a certain hopeless nihilism that accompanies categorizing what really amounts to a system that you are now cut away from. It is not that you’re hopeless, it’s that you lack the insight at this point to see that you can create hope in a new system – one in which you have more direct control over.

One of the hardest lessons I had to learn when I unplugged (such as it was) was throwing away ‘hope’.

Not real, internal, personal hope, but rather the ‘hope’ I had been led to believe was a realizable state – if circumstances, if personalities, if fate or some other condition defined by the feminine imperative would just align in such a way that I’d been conditioned to believe it could, then that feminine defined contentment could be actualized.

I wanted very much to realize that idealized state by defining hope (or having it defined for me) in a context that was never of my own real choosing. I got just as depressed as anyone else when I unplugged. I got angry. I didn’t want to think that I’d invested so much of myself in something that was fundamentally unattainable because the my understanding of it had been incorrect, either deliberately or by my own hopeful interpretations of it.

My own ‘unplugging’ was a gradual affair and came after a lot of drawn out trauma. And yes, to realize that all of that trauma amounted to nothing after hoping and struggling to mold myself into something that I was led to believe was achievable it was even more depressing.

It wasn’t until I realized that the hope I was sold came from the same social paradigm that never held my best interests as a priority that I threw it away. That was a tough day because I realized in doing so I would have to find a new sense of hope for myself. It seemed very nihilistic at the time, and I had to really make an effort not to make that choice from a sense of self-pity.

One particularly hard revelation I had to disabuse myself of was understanding that women love differently than men. That was tough to embrace because the old hope I was struggling to realize was based on the primary tenet of blue pill thinking; the equalist notion that men and women share a mutually recognized, mutually accepted concept of love.

Once I understood this was an idealization rather than a reality, and that women can and do love men deeply, but in an entirely different feminine-specific concept of love, I discovered that I no longer ‘hoped’ for that mutuality and embraced the hope that men and women could still genuinely love each other from their own perspectives of love without a mutual consensus.

I remembered then an older man I had done some peer counseling with while in college and how this man had essentially striven his entire life to please and content his ex-wife and his now second wife of more than 30 years. From his early 20s he’d spent his personal life in a hopeful attempt at contenting, appeasing and qualifying for a mutually shared state of love he believed these women (the only 2 he’d ever had sex with) had a real capacity for.

At 73 (now) he’s spent his life invested in a hope that simply doesn’t exist – that he can be loved as a man ideally believes a woman ought to be able to love him – just as all the romantic, feminine-defined ideals of love he’d learned from a feminine-centric social order had convinced him of for so long.

This is why I say men are the True Romantics, because the overwhelming majority will devote a lifetime to the effort of actualizing a belief in a male-idealized love to find fulfillment in a woman and for that woman.

Old Hope for New Hope

I hope that doesn’t sound too fortune cookie, but it’s a prime example of redefining hope in a new red pill-aware paradigm. You can hope and thrive in a new red pill context – I know I do – but it’s much easier when you internalize red pill truths and live with them in a red pill context instead of force-fitting them into your old, feminine-defined, blue pill context. I can imagine what my marriage would look like if I hadn’t made the red pill transition and learned to use that awareness in it. There are a lot of guys paying ‘marriage coaches’ $149 an hour because they never did.

There was a comment buried in last week’s comment thread from Hobbes that was too good not to include in its entirety here:

I think I get it!

For years I have been bitter about this need to “perform” about how this shows that women do not love us as we love etc.. And just now I was reviewing my old relationships and I recalled something.

In each of my relationships, prior to meeting the women I eventually fell in love with, I was constantly working on myself, I would get in shape, hang out with friends, explore my environment and work on myself and my music etc. As soon as I would “fall in love” I would slowly drop those activities, I’d focus on being a good bf, I would focus on providing and “being what she wanted” what I thought she wanted, better said.

But here is my Eureka moment, what I recalled each time was being unhappy, what I recall each time was feeling boxed in and kind of dull.. of feeling trapped.

Is this what Rollo means when he says our response to women is a conditioning, and that the sadness we get from Red Pill truth is the result of behaving and believing something that is not really our nature, but the result of having someone else’s behaviors and beliefs installed into us?

So I think I finally understand it for myself… the talk of putting yourself first, of “performing” etc is really just a way of saying “you don’t have to do what people say you’re supposed to do in a relationship – you don’t have to drop everything for her, you don’t have to stop doing what you like and love and you don’t have to kiss her ass”

In my case I dropped everything for two reasons. One was to do what I thought I was supposed to do.. what I heard women say they wanted from a man, what my mother said a man should be etc.. and the second reason was insecurity. I wanted her to love me, I didn’t want to rock the boat, I was scared of losing her.. so eventually I did. I believed that in order for me to be worthy of her, of her love, I had to go along and give her what she said she wanted, what I was taught she wanted.

Is this what Rollo and everyone else is talking about? Because I think I finally get it. Up to now I have faked my Game, to some extent. I just knew better than to do certain things or did things I knew would make me attractive, etc. to women. But seeing this now, not only am I realizing there is nothing to be bitter about – I was always happier working on myself and my interests and actually resentful of having to stop them – but that I am actually happier doing this thing women want of us we call “performing”.

In a way, you are performing, as Rollo says, either way. If you stop and think you can rest, in many ways you are doing so because you have been conditioned to believe, as I was, that you should. That real love meant you could and should.
Anyway, maybe this is simply me and my personal experience of it, but it makes sense to me.. and I think this has revealed to me something monumental, personally. Maybe other guys have a different experience of it, but this is how I have seen it played out in my life.

I feel better.

The key to living in a red pill context is to unlearn your blue pill expectations and dreams of finding  contentment in them, and replace them with expectations and aspirations based on realistic understandings of red pill truths.

Learn this now, you will never achieve contentment or emotional fulfillment in a blue pill context with red pill awareness.

Killing your inner Beta is a difficult task and part of that is discarding an old, comfortable, blue pill paradigm. For many newly unplugged, red pill aware, men the temptation is to think they can use this new understanding to achieve the goal-states of their preconditioned blue pill ideals. What they don’t understand is that, not only are these blue pill goal-states flawed, but they are also based on a flawed understanding of how to attain them.

Red pill awareness demands a red pill context for fulfillment. Oracle Z wrote a fantastic article on Return of Kings this week called Why you shouldn’t seek emotional fulfillment through women. It’s well worth the read, but what Oracle Z outlines here is a fulfillment based on feminine-primary, blue pill conditions for that contentment. Even when men achieve these blue pill goal-states, the ones they’re conditioned to believe they should want for themselves, they find themselves discontent with those states and trapped by the liabilities of them.

Just as Hobbes illustrated, the periods when he was not striving to achieve or maintain those blue pill goal-states were the times he was most fulfilled with his life, talents and ambitions.

As if this weren’t enough to convince a man he needs to re-imagine himself in a red pill-primary context, when women are presented with ‘the perfect guy‘ in a blue pill context they gradually (sometimes immediately) come to despise him. As proven by their actions, even women don’t want that blue pill perfected goal-state because it stagnates the otherwise exciting, self-important men they are aroused by, and attracted to in a red pill context.

I’ve stated this in prior posts, but it bears repeating,

“Women should only ever be a complement to a man’s life, never the focus of it.”

Living in a blue pill context, and hoping you can achieve fulfillment in its fundamentally flawed goal-states, conditions men to make women the focus of their lives. Throw that hope away and understand that you can create hope in a new system – one in which you have more direct control over.

246 comments

  1. Interesting Rollo. Going into Osho’s Ashram in Oregon, one of the neighbors had posted a sign “abandon hope, all ye who enter here” Osho did a full discourse on this sign alone, the gist of it being that hope is a dream state, so to wake up, to realize reality, the neighbor was right, we had to “abandon hope”.

  2. “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here” good quote and appropriate

    Another quote: “Hope Is Not a Strategy”

    Beta IS “hoping” that your strategy of female social engagement yields a positive result in the END.

    Alpha is “doing” a strategy of female social engagement while yielding positive results in the NOW.

    A mans Performance is DOING. A mans reward is in the NOW. It might be ephemeral but unplugging means disconnection from our female-strategy enabled promises of positive results LATER.

    In the end Abandoning Hope forces a man to concentrate on the NOW. This is obviously uncomfortable. It’s tough to risk rather than be safe and in friendzone. But Beta Friendzone is a hope state. Red Pill demands that a man realize that the friendship offered was a mirage of intimacy.

    A woman is banging someone. If it’s not you… you are in hope state.

  3. I’ve been reading the comments for the past 3 months or so and as a Gamer, I’ve came to a depressing red pill conclusion:

    What’s even more depressing is the fact that a majority of men (80%) will never receive a woman’s genuine love simply because his genetic stock isn’t desirable. I’ve seen the studies that show desire does have a biological/scientific basis and that raw, feral, primal desire is reserved only for men of high genetic value. What was shocking to me was that women can actually taste/ smell good genes during a first kiss and thus render if the man is compatible or not. This took me back to how many a Pua would get a kiss from a woman and have her not wanting to take things further or flake on the next date. This has also happen to me personally. This just goes to show you that women are programmed to be the “pragmatic sex” and men are the “idealistic sex”, when you really think about it.

    This is the real red pill. Nothing you can do will change this. Muscles, clothing, and Game can only take you so far, which isn’t enough for this ever changing sexual market place. All these things only serve to minimally extend your already given potential at birth.

    Don’t be fooled. People who tell you to work on yourself are giving obvious positive advice but in the SMP women don’t really give a shit about your “positive” progression. All they care about is either your genetic stock or the provisions you might be able to provide. And as men, let’s be real here, all we care about is getting that raw alpha love that women have the capacity to give men. When you really think about it, it makes sense that the percentages of alpha(20%) and beta(80%) will always remain the same no matter how much Game you learn. Many men in the manoshpere and game forums think they’re 7’s on the cusp of being 8’s with the right game, clothing, or mannerism but in fact, they’re 3’s and 4’s living vicariously through other genuine alphas. The male hamster, much like the female’s, is a strong one. I know I will get personally attacked for this comment but I can’t bare to not express my thoughts here.

    Being a physically attractive male is the only true way to unleash genuine desire and not negotiate it via Game.

    I’ve been in the Game for years and it wasn’t until recently that it all began to click, thanks to some of the interesting commentators on here. Most men will wake up to the realities of the sexual market place and come to this depressing conclusion.

    Most men are indeed fucked right from the get-go and I can see “looks fatalism” as the reigning mentality over the manosphere as it dwells into the true red pill of our biological make up.

    You think this prophecy of mines is too far-fetched? Just recall the first time you ever heard a red pill truth. You may have recoiled from it or believed it wasn’t true. You may have even valiantly argued against it, but in due time, you began to accept it as true and went on with your life.

  4. Morpheus” at 2:45 AM is an impostor/phony. This is Morpheus of JFG. I guess I am important enough to attract trolls to sockpuppet with my username.

    Rollo, do me a favor and email me the email address associated with this comment and the IP address so I can cross-check the IP against our commenters to see if I find anything.

    My best guess is this is one of Giggles pathetic omega chicks.

  5. this, right?

    III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority. Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.

    http://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

  6. Rollo, as a new red pill convert I see the world a whole different way. I know see the feminine influence everywhere. (I know longer watch the early morning talk shows or the movie chick flicks). It was difficult accepting the truth about women.

    It was being told “can’t we just be friends” by a woman I fell in love with that brought me to the manosphere. Unbelievably it was the first time hearing that. I’ve tried telling by blue pill friends and my own brother about the manosphere.
    Only to be told that; I hate women!

    I’m know happily a red pill man, who read your book ” The Rational Male” and I’m still amazed at the predictability of a women’s behavior. I don’t hate women and I’m hopeful that relationships will change. It’s because of White Knights and Betas that women are the way they are. I will not give up hope for a better world, but I do feel that if left to their own devices women will destroy the world.

  7. BTW 2:45 AM, you must be one f’ed bitch in the head. You must find me expressing my thoughts pretty terrifying to sockpuppet.

  8. Last comment on this…. rereading the comment I’ve identified more than a few grammatical mistakes which leads me to believe English is a second language for the writer. I think it is one of Giggles commenters, and I think I know which one.

  9. Now I fully realize why a man’s self concept is so tied to his career. If he loses his job or falters for a period, the only love he receives in this world is at enormous risk of being obliterated. (many men lose their friendships once married)

    Why are you at work all the time?

    Well, you see honey, you literally will stop loving me if I suffer any setbacks. And, if my faltering lasts long enough, you will leave me, take our children, and enforce a contract that could result in my imprisonment if I’m unable to have continued economic success. Sorry, but I have to prevent you from being you, and that means sitting at this desk a little longer.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/21/unemployment-and-divorce-_n_2288702.html

    I guess this hope is okay, but I can never unlearn what I have seen. How can I look at my wife with love and know that she is operating like some kind of breeding robot, which I must tip toe around. Just smile and know that’s just how she is – like a child?

    Sure, men have instincts too, but at least I feel like I could honor my commitment even if my wife got fat. I always viewed marriage as a place where you could be with your mate and rest from the world. Unfortunately, it seems to appear like another area where you have to constantly be on guard. But, maybe I’m blowing this up. I’m afraid that red pill knowledge is creating more insecurity within me. It’s almost like I’m supposed to watch my wife in a lab and refer to my red pill manual to try and figure out what won’t trip up her hypergamy alarms and blow up the marriage.

    I guess in all of this, I have really learned a couple things that will guide me:

    1) – Marry a girl who is definitely less hot than you. For some reason, I feel that, even in the event of financial setbacks, if she thinks you are hotter than her, she will keep you. IF you’re just a wallet that’s no good anymore, then good bye pal.
    1B) Make damn sure that your wife was one of several possible candidates and that she is aware of this somehow. I feel like your wife will always secretly hate that she married the man nobody else wanted. In other words, display a lot of optionality before marriage.

    2) Make sure she has not experienced alpha kok in the past. Or, make sure your much better than past experiences. Good luck.

    3) Never get fat. Always be in prime physical shape. Always be doing more than her.

    4) Always have a higher income than her.

    5) Never display fear of future or uncertainty. She prefers your BS even if she knows it’s BS. She wants to believe you are or could be the king of the world.

    6) Have strong financial systems and backups during your marriage that can sustain your family without a hitch.

    7) Enter the marriage with certain asset protection trusts setup prior that will ensure you are fine even if she divorces you. I think she will be more attracted to you during the marriage if she knows that her divorcing you will not devastate you financially. Of course, this step is difficult but worth it if you can accumulate a worthwhile amount prior to marriage. No prenup needed either.

    I guess the real hope for myself lies in the competition among men. Women are not going to just become lesbians. I don’t think becoming a top 20% man is as difficult as it seems. When I look at my peers, I am confident that our dreaded “performance” requirement is not beyond reach. Sure, it seems we have to work harder than our fathers did. But, when I really think about it, I never fully understood the importance of the physical. Stupid, I know. I guess the reward of knowing all this would be in receiving enthusiastic sex from your wife because she is actually into you.

    Being a hapless beta provider, as I was on the road toward, would have led to a wife who’s constant resentment would be the undertone of everything I did. At least, now I know what she secretly wants. I used to have silly dreams imagining myself promising that I would never look at a woman again once married. What a fool.

    To conclude, I was never fully aware of all the terms in the deal of the relationshit – especially marriage. At least I can prevent her from setting off the dynamite earlier than she would have previously.

  10. I see it as the contrast between a best friend and a fair-weather friend. Most guys got a couple of friends who even if you lost your fortune or were accused of some crime would stick by you, unlike the fair-weather friends who’d fade away. Guys want their woman to be a best friend with tits. Unfortunately women are much more like fair-weather friends whose affection for you is based on how you make them feel.

  11. Men who adhere to red pill concepts (of which the vast majority will be previous blue pill believers) may sometimes fall into the easy trap of feeling isolated. When all is said and done, red pill advocators will, in my estimations, make up 97% will predominantly be blue pill men of course, however there is also a small proportion of men who believe in red pill concepts but who can’t quite bring themselves to act this way in practice (think of a friend who just shrugs his shoulders when you offer him the truth, with an expression of accepting you’re right but refusing to agree), and jerks who act the way women respond positively to but they (the jerks) are too dense to know what they are correctly processing.

    And blue pill loyalists may be prepared to pay marriage counsellors $100+ per hour to seek advice, but these professionals will only give their clients conventional blue pill theories to make their relationships “better” with necessary fine tuning language. Are they going to tell men, and women, to watch what women do rather than listen to what they say? No. Will they confess to women viscerally responding in a positive manner to apathy over expenditure? Definitely not. I would even question whether many marriage counsellors know anything about the red pill truisms. If they do, they will deny all knowledge. They need to sell the product that derives from the mass market, whether it is the truth or not.

    But a minority of people do offer true and objective advice, with no egoism acting as a verbal component. The below post is just one example:

    http://www.vinaywcmd.com/2014/09/are-marriage-and-kids-worth-it-for-men.html

  12. @ Morpheus

    Even if what you say is true, I still think in the end women have it just as hard or maybe even harder. I mean out of all the women I see when I’m out, I can really only think of a couple that I would consider banging. And even less than that I would consider dating. Hot girls also have a ton of competition from other hotties, so in the end the hottest girl will win the best guy and there isn’t a damn thing she can do about it. If she loses her looks the the guy would be out the door, along with the love. Your theory applies to everyone, not just guys.

  13. The behavior displayed by that kid are not blue pillers behaviors.Those are doormat’s. My father is the biggest blue piller in the world. That kid on the other hand has potential to became free. If he forgets the nonsense taught at purple pill forums and at red pill forums. Game doesn’t make men attractive to women, game only makes men easier to be ruled by women. Looks are all that matters to women, something you are born with, and women are incapable of loving any man. Women are only capable of feeling lust(for men like orlando bloom) and greed(for bill gates types).

  14. I’m just so glad that all of these truths came to me at least in mid-life. It would be nice if they’d come earlier but I can’t imagine the 70-somethings who have taken an interest in red-pill writings. Then they come to the painful conclusion that it was all a ruse. They look over at their spoiled, wrinkled bitch of a wife and realize that they gave it all away for just another person. A simple person. Not the magical, exalted being they were led to covet. How sad.

    David,
    I’m not trying to contentious or critical, but your checklist for marriage depresses the hell out of me. I’m sure you’re actually right. Your list is what marriage to a Western female has come down to so I’m not dismissing it. It just seems like a lot of hoop jumping for someone who has less SMV than yourself. What’s the point? You know?

  15. Hey guys, if you want to add validity to the red pill world, don’t go around calling people who don’t agree with your viewpoints to be “gammas” We are all of subpar quality here. I honestly doubt there are any 25 year Old johnny depp here, high genetic quality men aren’t redpillers, although i would like to see you talk to a psychologist regarding all of that game nonsense, and don’t forget to tell them how you think you are morpheus. Psychologists need money too.

  16. “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here” good quote and appropriate.”

    That’s the sign above entering Hell.

    If you are a man who places hope in women…that’s where you go.

  17. rivsdiary beat me to it – The Sixteen Commandments Of Poon

    Read it, do it, then read it again and understand it.

  18. I’ve come to see Red Pill as much more “being myself” (irony intended). Most men are inherently Red Pill but society has imposed layer upon layer of Blue Pill bullshit upon us.

    In Antifragile, Nassim Taleb talks about how removing negative things (i.e. Blue Pill thinking) from a system (i.e. your life) will produce greater results than adding positive things (i.e. working harder to please her).

    Even a simple social niceties like saying “thank you” I now do sparingly, only when I really mean it. Otherwise I’m wasting a small amount of my finite energy with a result of being slightly less respected by the person on the receiving end of the thank you.

  19. A good example of Red Pill thinking within a Blue Pill context is the Robert Glover book No More Mr. Nice Guy. That book came out 11 years ago and preached a good message but within the standard self-help paradigm. Ultimately a less powerful message than it could have otherwise been.

    I heard Glover on a podcast recently and he was much more Red Pill about how men should operate their lives. Basically his message now is that women should only complement a man’s life, as Rollo says.

  20. Rollo,

    I had a Twilight Zone experience last night. My wife was saying how she was sure that I had a gf in a very b1tchy manner even as she instigated a bang. She was saying how men deny, deny, deny and how women shouldn’t trust ever and how she would divorce my a$$ if she ever found out that I had cheated. All the while she moved for the bang. It was like she simultaneously hated and loved the idea that I had cheated.

    Then she was sweet as pie after that and still very flirty. Bear in mind that she’s a unicorn. It really is unbelievable about the sexual nature of women. The Red Pill chases away all lingering Blue Pill fantasies. Cue Twilight Zone theme song.

  21. I’ve been in the situation that Rollo commented on one too many times in my past relationships. And I would often wonder why they didn’t work out.

    But it wasn’t until understanding male/female dynamics that it all made sense to me. For a women to keep chasing and pursuing the man she “loves”, she has to have a reason to want to chase him in the first place.

    There are various variables to consider and bare in mind.

    Firstly, a man who is focused on his goals and ambitions is a man who isn’t static; He is always growing and improving his SMV. In a woman’s eyes, this is a threat to her Hypergamy due to the possibility of her man being snapped up by a girl of higher value and is forced to fix up by doing the same with her own SMV.

    Secondly, a man who is focused on his goals first and foremost keeps a woman challenged by chasing after her man’s attention and trying to make herself as his number #1.

    2 distinct variables that go hand in and why this dynamic is so crucial when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship.

    This insight often gets misunderstood by a lot of the guys in the manosphere by thinking you have to continue ‘gaming’ your girlfriend/wife in order to keep it working. But it’s simply not necessary.

    You simply need to not give up on what you’re doing and continue improving yourself.

    A man performs at his best when he’s edging out of his comfort zone and is constantly challenging his potential. This provides him with a sense of self-confidence, ‘alphaness’ and power that emanates out of him naturally, which women can’t help but become drawn to.

  22. Why even try to give what women think they want? Chris Rock said it best.

    “You can’t make a woman happy, it’s impossible. I’ve never met a happy woman in my life, woman are always complaining about something. Shit, woman like to complain, woman save up shit to complain about. ‘Oh he don’t even know I know but I’m going to get his ass on that shit, next month’. They like fucking complaining, they love it. No matter what you do, she’ll be mad.”

  23. This article has hit me like a punch in the gut. Overwhelmingly true and accurate. Faking my Game has brought me only limited success because I haven’t internalized it. I have subconsciously clung to my old beta “hopes” and expectations. This will force some much needed introspection and a change in my base thought process and actions. Thank you.

  24. Working on yourself, making the best of yourself and adding value to yourself; while being red pill aware and improving your game sure as hell beats * NOT working on yourself, not adding value to yourself etc.
    Women should not be your main mission in life and it is foolish to make them one’s No.1 priority.
    YOU are your number 1 priority. Women are a bonus.
    (*What is the other option? … Giving up? … Giving up is NOT an option)

  25. Our current society has basically completely switched gender roles. When blue pill men work to make a woman happy in the hopes of this idealized love, they are assuming a woman’s role. It is women who, in a masculine society who work to make men happy in the hopes of being chosen. And women are quite good at this, when they are taught how. It’s part of our competition. But now we have women who are setting the rules and men bending themselves in the hopes of winning.

    It should be just the opposite. Men who set the rules and women who bend to win them.

  26. Titanic,

    Indeed and unsurprisingly it is men who are willing to change this dynamic and many women who are fighting the change tooth and nail. Some women are slowly waking up, but it is going to take them much longer to do so at first, When the new herd has made it’s stamp, though, the influx, I think, will be great.

    The bad thing with this, is that when the influx comes, the message will get extremely watered down in an effort to preserve the feminine imperative. Feminist are already trying to redefine themselves as male friendly.

  27. “YOU are your number 1 priority. Women are a bonus.”

    God is the #1 priority…after that everything else works out.

  28. #1. Smv = sexual market value. I’m surrounded by 17-25 year Old males who never had a job and they’re still highly sought after by women, beautiful women no less. On the other hand my father makes a lot more then any of you and he only had one woman. My mother, an ex parte girl, and my father has always been a decent-looking man, just not hot. I’ve also met many a high-achiever with average looks(not fat) and they couldn’t even get a date with below average or average looking. Working on yourself in order to becoming somenone who is important in your career will only result. in alimony and Child-support. Women in their 30s hardly put out for free. They are looking for a meal ticket. As for charm, confidence and What not.. Handsome men don’t even haver to say hi to get Laid. Why work for sloppy seconds?

  29. A wise woman I once knew would often say “Learning implies a permanent change in behavior.” At first it kind of irked me but then at a certain point, I knew exactly what she meant. If your thinking and POV have actually been changed, then how you act will change. If you have just “learned” something so you can recite it, you haven’t really learned anything. Call it “internalizing” perhaps, but many men in the Manosphere haven’t done it.

    In fact, I think many have used the Red Pill to aggrandize their sense of victimhood, which obviates them actually learning anything from this in the sense that actually have a change in POV. Being a victim of it, in and of itself, is part of the way female imperative keeps us thirsty and begging. Keep in mind that despite what some commenters here say, guys with high SMV get turned down in this world by women all the time. Game is not about having high SMV nor is it about making yourself an uber alpha. it’s about understanding the terrain in which we find ourselves as men, first and foremost.

    Pre-Red Pill? I had an external locus of motivation/control in my life – the Blue Pill goal set/behaviors/POV. Under the covers, one could always see that I was trying to “prove something” to the world. Basically, my entire life was a test of me being “good enough”, but if you asked me exactly what that was I couldn’t have told you, but now I know. What really changed me was having the experience of being all those things I thought measured a man, and still losing the game. Having success, being a provider, being good looking, being a good father – none of these things got me anywhere at the end of the day in terms of my happiness or getting loyalty/respect/affection from those I loved and cared for. At best, they were expectations, but in reality I was often criticized in doing these things and got nothing in return. No respect. No gratitude. No affection.. My erstwhile wife simply stopped having sex with me while I was pulling all this off, when I was 28 and many a woman was begging me to fuck them because I was decent looking, made good money, had a job in which I wore a suit every day etc.

    This state of affairs was incomprehensible to me. It was only 20 years later when I stumbled into the Red Pill world and I finally understood it. I was playing the game with a rule book that put me at service to women. “Happy wife, happy life” – right? And my job was to make her happy?

    These days I ask myself a question that I don’t always have answers to. What makes me happy? Who makes me happy? I’d already started down this journey in part long ago. At 30, I had enough self-respect to tell my ex-wife to either get in or out of our marriage as i didn’t want to be married to someone who didn’t want to be married to me. So she went and had a 6 month affair that I had to discover and end our marriage over. You see, even then, I had to do all the work.

    In the 20 years of “dating” that ensued I had 8 or so serious relationships and they all had exactly the same pattern. After 4-5 months each of these women revealed a self-centeredness that set my alarm bells off. You see, my marriage had been emotionally abusive. I believe my ex actually has covert narcissistic personality disorder, as she would be horrifically nasty and denigrating to me regularly. A certain disdain was almost constant. It was terribly obvious, so much so that her sister took her aside and read her the riot act after an incident that occurred while at her house. My ex had been publicly denigrating of me. Fyi, she was never like this when we were dating or the 2.5 years we lived together before getting married. She was only like this after having our child. Her sister shocked her telling her, “I’m embarrassed by how you treat Glenn. He’s a great guy and very good to you and deserves your respect.” She actually stopped inviting us to her house for a while. I also clamped down on my ex from time to time or would induce dread without knowing I was and she would do a 180 for a week or sometimes a bit longer. But this was the exception, not the rule.

    So I was smart enough to realize that I didn’t want to be in relationships with women in which it was all about them. What I didn’t know is that this was all that was available to me. And that in fact, my entire Blue Pill way of being was designed to give me exactly that relationship. Eventually, I started to lose interest in the ‘Groundhog Day’ quality of it all. My last real GF was in 2008. I’ve tried pros but really, I’ve found that prostitution is just the ultimate in ‘negotiated desire’ and doesn’t deliver the unbidden desire that I’m seeking from a sexual partner.

    My new frame of reference starts with me. First off, I’ve always known that happiness stems from living well. So I don’t pursue “happiness” as an end. I pursue those things in life that I desire. Material and ethereal. Knowledge, a great home, creating beautiful words and music. The outdoors. Being strong and energetic and fit. Creating wealth, developing new businesses, reading history and philosophy, engaging in my community. Creating a social circle in which I’m actually appreciated and supported. And mostly just having a blast with my life.

    And I’m no longer confused, which is a huge relief. Now that I know I’m in an SMP, I walk around seeing it in action. Not just the reaction of women to me, but mine to them and how it’s playing out with others all around me. And I get to play in that game and actually enjoy it. Flirting in some ways is my biggest breakthrough. It turns out lots of women like to flirt, but most guys can’t be trusted to flirt without becoming stalkers. I also see how we all crave connection and attention, and it makes it even easier for me to approach. I’m one of those people who’s always meeting new people so it was never hard for me, but now it’s like I know a secret or something. As Rollo says, women now know that I just “get it”. I bet Prof Hardwig has never had the feeling in his life…

    Hope. My favorite book on what we call “complex sales” in my business is, “Hope is not a strategy.” I’m an optimist in that I focus on the positive possibilities in my life, but I’m no Pollyanna. I see reality more starkly and clearly than ever. Our society is convulsing and what is so between men and women today, on balance, is not serving most men well. I get it.

    But here’s the best thing about the Red Pill for me. I don’t give a shit about society anymore – that was part of my Blue Pill crap, that I carried the world on my shoulders. “There is much ruin in a nation.” “The center never holds”. So I live in a society/nation that is pulling itself apart, why not? Why shouldn’t i live in such a world? The Blue Pill has me believing I should fix that. Or that I should stand up for some ancient code of chivalry or romance or courtly love that fights against it all like the fundo Christians are.

    Nah, I’ve been cured. The world can go to shit or not, it simply is irrelevant to me. And ultimately, what do I care about how this shit morphs in the next 50 years? I’ll be dead and buried, which is fine by me. My world is now about me and what’s in front of me. Women have a place in my world and let me be clear. I love sex. I actually love being with a woman romantically for an evening or whatever. But the second it starts becoming important to me in that I’m thinking about it too much or chasing too hard I catch myself. One of the simplest, yet most effective “techniques” from game that I learned about this is to just spin more plates when that happens. Whenever any single woman is renting space in my head I reflexively reach out to another one, even just by going to POF and sending an email. Or whatever,

    Lucretius, in his epic work, On the Nature of Things, spoke of how destructive it was for a man to become obsessed and needful of just one woman. How this destroyed him in every way. He flatly stated that a man in such a state must go stick his dick into every woman he could find – even teen boys (Lucretius words, not mine) if that was all there was. Anything to break the spell men can put themselves under. I get that. I can’t change the fact sometimes I’ll get oneitis – I’m genetically and socially conditioned to do so. But I can also spin plates – which cures it instantly. That’s what’s different. When I am falling into Blue Pill/Beta ways, I get it quickly now and have a way to deal with it differently, in a way that suits me.

    Thanks for another great post Rollo. I liked that you were a bit more personal and told your own inner story versus the more analytic posture of most of your posts.

  30. I fully agree that we can not live red pill with blue pill mind.

    But – marriage is the ultimate blue piller. So how is it possible to live in blue pill contract and realtionship with red pill mind?

    Emotional detachment IS the solution with women, no doubt about it.

    But, many questions are popping from the aforementioned sentences:

    1. Would you enter into contract in which you promise that you will provide and protect your woman, in good and bad times? Would you sign those papers? Where is the emotional detachment here? Do you actually WANT to provide and protect hypergamic creature when she goes mad, turns cold or disrespects you? Would you enter into VERY serious business with woman given what you know?

    2. Ok, you marry with red pill knowledge, you know how you must behave to keep hypergamy in check. We all know, that the biggest weapon against hypergamy is the ability to ..walk away from woman when her behaviour is unacceptable. This is very powerfull move.

    You have children. You will develop the most intense relationship with those mini-yous, no emotional detachment is possible here. And this very intense realtionship with your children is at the mercy of the hypergamic nature of your wife. So how you can mantain you “emotional detachment” when your wife (together with state) has the power to take away your children from you when she wants? Do you even have the ability to walk away so easily anymore?

    We are able to hold emotional detachment and manage our women, when we actually ARE detached. When we do not invest into them. But zou already made the most serious investment in her…you entrusted her with power over your children!

    My women take the clear message that they have to behave otherwise I am out there. I can do this, we have nothing in common and … my decision would not be detrimental to other little, helpless beings. So, they are doing their best to behave. But what about married man who deeply loves his 3 little children? How HE feels when his woman takes his children away from him because HE has not met the requirements of her hypergamy, he lost job, or he is not performing to her satisfaction? How can HE manage her?

    There are/were and will be, many married men, contemplating suicide when robbed of their CHILDREN. How can men protect against this one? Develop emotional detachment from your children? You can not do this,. they need your unconditional love, otherwise they might turn BPD or develop serious problems.

    Developing and maintaining an emotional detachment in marriage with children is not as easy as it seems. Married man KNOWS that his realtionship with his children and his property might be lost, when woman turns cold. She is able to riks all…to withdraw children, breake home, destroy everything. Are you able of such coldness yourself? Can you “manage” her when she decided to leave you and take away your property and children, your lifelong investments?

    I honestly admire every married man that ha not turned into hopeless slave of his woman. Tough, very tough job. Many times its is just sheer luck – he performs well, his wife has not many other options, so she better treates him with at least little respect. But what to say guys that do not have such luck? I honestly do not know what to say to them. When she turns cold and decides it is over! You just have to fight to your death for your children and property. That is all I know.

  31. Stingray, most women hate average looking men. We are not considered to be men by them, We are utilities and as such they’re coming to the awareness that We are not as dumb as We look and that We are becoming familiar with the dualist nature of women’s sexual strategy and that We want no part to do with it. Handsome men get Laid for free with high quality women. Average men have to go on several dates to get a kiss, if they get it at all. That’a retardeded.

  32. Plagio,

    Women don’t hate men with average looks. They are indifferent to average men (until these men decide to not walk the blue pill narrative any more. Then it can turn to hate). Yes, look matter, but they are not the be all end all. And most men are more than capable of changing several aspects of their physicality.

  33. That’s not hate. That’s a fitness test. It’s also a signal to all her friends of her status. “Oh my gawd! I can’t believe all these men who are looking at me!”

    Women give men dirty looks for their own benefit. They don’t do it for the same reason a man will give a dirty look to another man.

  34. Look, if women love differently than men, it stands to reason that they would hate differently, too. A man who is hated by a woman is far closer to ‘getting her”, than a man to whom she is indifferent towards.

  35. @stingray

    “Our current society has basically completely switched gender roles. When blue pill men work to make a woman happy in the hopes of this idealized love, they are assuming a woman’s role. It is women who, in a masculine society who work to make men happy in the hopes of being chosen. And women are quite good at this, when they are taught how. It’s part of our competition. But now we have women who are setting the rules and men bending themselves in the hopes of winning.”

    So now it is due to baad society, isn´t it?

    You are FREE to behave as you want. We can see your true colours ladies and we are a bit..ehm..shocked by what we see, to say the least🙂 No compassion, justice, consciousness..no higher soul. It is amazing that we actually have …protect ourselves against you.

    As a young man I always wondered why all those past societies CURTAILED every right you had. Why they accused you of having no soul, being devil´s messengers, deliverers of misery to men, etc. They FEARED you so much!!! They actually treated you as some semi/violent beast that can´t be fully civilized and must be held under supervision.

    I am sure that now many men know..why🙂

  36. @ Stingray

    I think that there are a couple of components to how women perceive looks in a man: 1. beauty and 2. sexuality. The second is more important by far. For instance, Tom Cruise is more beautiful than Yul Brynner, but Yul Brynner was far more attractive to women due to his immense sexuality. Yul Brynner’s sexuality came from his voice, body language, social presence, and facial features. Similarly, Julian McMahon as Victor Von Doom had tremendous sex appeal prior to his transformation due to his charisma. McMahon’s smile adds tremendously to his charisma since it widens his mouth a lot. McMahon doesn’t have the beauty of Tom Cruise or Tom Sizemore.

    Now all that being said, I’ve not seen that looks are any more than a minor hindrance to a man in terms of attracting women. Without my cap, my looks drop from a 6 to a 4. However, that just means that I get some more rejections on approaches–eventually a woman wants to dance with me. Continuing to approach despite rejections actually increases the chance that a woman will respond positively to an approach. Recently, I approached eight women in less than a minute and received eight rejections. The ninth woman, who was the loveliest, accepted my offer to dance. She was a terrible dancer, lol, so I don’t think that dancing was her main objective.

  37. @ titanic

    Mrs. Gamer needed some drama and comfort in her emotional mix; she created the drama and I provided comfort. She had lotta tingles already.

    In a relationship, the key thing is not the logical question, but the emotional cocktail that a woman needs. I didn’t argue with Mrs. Gamer–I just listened and danced with her and gave her continuous small kisses to reassure her. Her logic was that since I went to a particular bar to dance a lot, I had a gf there. This was total nonsense, but there was no arguing the point with her. She needed me to provide comfort, not show that her argument was illogical.

  38. Becoming red pill aware inside a marriage is depressing and liberating at the same time. I don’t know how this will end, but I started to not care anymore.
    My children and fear of divorce rape were the reasons I didn’t leave my wife a few years back.
    I’ve been changing my attitude the last few months and something is definitely moving between the two of us, in the sense that the balance of power is shifting towards me, even though that was not my explicit objective. I just wanted to feel better about myself and my life. I’ll see how it plays out.

  39. @theasdgamer

    “Hating women because of their biology is Blue Pill. A Red Pill man accepts reality and deals with it.”

    Forget “blue pill” or “red pill”. Are you a man? If so, behave like one. Argue with what has been said using your brain and not emotions/shaming language like woman. If there is something what is untrue in my post, say it and provide better alternative.

  40. This article is a Godsend… Understanding general red pill truths really gets me into a state of despair, as i’m a very traditional young man, and not particularly inclined to exploit sluts for my own enjoyment (i.e. Heartiste).

    Definitely helps to know that there is a red pill formula for fulfillment. Actually, “helps” is a huge understatement. The one thing i think the red pill needs more than anything is a positive, optimistic, fulfilling model for life success, and this article comes closer than anything i’ve ever seen.

    I’ve spent the past few years climbing mountains, competing in ironman triathlons, doing crazy outdoors trips, and living a full life, yet with a slightly blue-pill mindset that i need a wife and family to be fulfilled. While i still consider starting a family to be important for me, think i understand now that this cannot be the sole focus of my fulfillment, that i need to be a man of purpose, with a wife as sidekick to my own personal adventure, not the focus of my journey.

  41. “No they hate average looking men. They’re not allowed to look at women without getting a dirty look.”

    Big deal about a dirty look. At least you get a lifetime’s worth of info about a girl without spending a cent.

  42. The psychological ramifications inherent in knowing something and why it exists (the feminist imperative) and even giving just the slightest modicum of effort trying to circumvent it, to me is absolutely absurd! We should be living for ourselves and not poon. If we get some along the way, then great. If not, that’s great too. I get more fun, exhiliration, adrenaline rush, and satisfaction jumping out of a plane at 14,000 feet falling to the ground at 120mph for about 60 seconds than I will EVER get messing with the typical ameriskank western woman.

    Fact: Women from teens to late 30s give it up for free to doucherags and pop out their wombfilth and lose all or just about all of their SMV.

    Conclusion: That’s their problem and you are an absolute FOOL to want to have anything to do with a woman like that.

    Fact: That same mary jane rotten crotch that’s taken all the doucherag cock for the majority of her life hits the wall and wants to find a “sucker” to open his wallet for the last MAYBE 5% of SMV she has left.

    Conclusion: DON’T BE THAT GUY!!!!!!!!!

    Fact: If you’re not the Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, or George Clooney type….probably Johnny Depp and several others, all you are is a wallet and you’re invisible. The women will only give a shit about you long after their sexual market value has expired.

    Conclusion: If you’ve been working on you, and living for you, you won’t a shit about her….nor should you!

  43. “Working on yourself in order to becoming somenone who is important in your career will only result. in alimony and Child-support. ”

    Who said anything about getting married?

    “Women in their 30s hardly put out for free. They are looking for a meal ticket.”

    Who said anything about going after women in their 30s?

    “As for charm, confidence and What not.. Handsome men don’t even haver to say hi to get Laid. Why work for sloppy seconds?”

    They have to say hi…they have to show some action on their part. It may not be as much work as someone who isn’t blessed with good looks or a smooth tongue…but that’s the point. A man has to work for what he gets…whether it be a career, the girl, or whatever mission he has.

    Quit giving yourself excuses…you don’t have to make women the goal. Improve yourself for the experience of doing it.

  44. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. Women don’t hate average looking “just a guy” men, they are indifferent to them.

    It’s not hate, hate implies recognition and concern for that man. Average men are the invisibles, the workers, not the drones:
    https://therationalmale.com/2013/01/07/queens-workers-drones/

    I’ve fucked more than a few women who professed to hate me before we did (and even after we did). Bitch shields are effective for a reason; they’re a learned behavioral filter for the kinds of men who are put off by them. A bitch shield is an invitation, not indifference.

  45. Roosh had solid and somewhat related post to mine this morning:
    http://www.rooshv.com/stop-saying-men-are-disposable

    “Both men and women are disposable due to the population numbers we have now, so arguing that a random woman on the street is less disposable today than a man is imprecise, degrading to men, and disturbing cynical while providing no insight into understanding anything related to the goals men pursue today. Thinking of yourself as disposable is quite close to adopting feminist ideology whereby women are held as infallible and superior creatures.”

    Dwelling on male disposability is exactly what a social order founded on the feminine imperative and a blue pill paradigm want men to do. Men self-perpetuating this mindset only reinforces feminine social primacy.

    The Feminine Imperative WANTS you to be hopeless in your worth as a man, and hopeful that you can ‘get lucky’ enough to serve well enough and qualify for a woman’s intimacy – and find blue pill contentment in doing so.

    https://therationalmale.com/2011/09/14/afc-social-conventions/

    In closing I’d argue that 95% of men aren’t even aware that they’re repeating / reinforcing a social convention at all because the convention is so embedded into social consciousness it’s taken for granted. The most effective social conventions are ones in which the subject willingly sublimates his own interests, discourages questioning it, and predisposes that person to encourage and reinforce the convention with others. This is the essence of the Matrix; anything can become normal.

  46. Chateau Heartiste has deleted my latest comments regarding (once again) the discussion on men’s looks and it’s effect on women. Really dude? You should let your readers debate and make up their own mind but whatever. It’s your blog and all. Rollo, I appreciate that you don’t do this.

  47. LMFAO at the ego on TheREALMorpheus obviously the dude just likes the Matrix movies as much as you do🙂

    Listen up anyone here who tries to copy my username will have me to deal with…… I’m the REAL Ryan the rest are imposters!!!!

  48. So now it is due to baad society, isn´t it?
    You are FREE to behave as you want.

    Sure, people have the choice to behave as they want. But how many people even realize this? It takes education, courage, discipline and more to be free. How many choose this path or even have the wherewithal to see that there is, indeed, another path?

    The analogy with the Matrix might annoy a lot of people, but it is incredibly apt.

  49. @ DM “Understanding general red pill truths really gets me into a state of despair, as i’m a very traditional young man, and not particularly inclined to exploit sluts for my own enjoyment (i.e. Heartiste).”

    First off, stop calling women sluts. Pre-Red Pill I never understood this but now? I don’t care how many sexual partners a woman has had as long as she’s not carrying an STD and giving it to me. In fact, the truth is that the more sexually experienced women tend to be a lot more adventurous and dirty sexually, which is a whole lot more fun than doing it missionary style while she holds on to her Rosary beads. One of the downsides of having sex with younger women is that many are pretty awful in the sack.

    If you are a Red Pill guy, don’t you want to have great, wild, uncommitted sex? Marriage, romance, courtly love, chivalry – these are all feminine imperative informed institutions that don’t serve men at all. They are part of the mechanics of gynocentrism. I’m about as concerned with a woman’s chastity as I am her views on monetary policy, lol.

    When I was 21 a 35 yr old snagged me and used me as a sex toy for about 4 months. She was truly the most horny women I’d ever been with in my life and did me a great service by actually teaching me about sex. It was quite fun…And yes, she was a dirty slut according to you. Who is losing out? Me? Lol.

    Also, what makes you think fucking a woman is exploiting her? HInt: She wants to fuck just as much as you do. She loves sex just as much as you do. She’s dying to have a fantastically erotic night. She’s actually walking around craving “alpha”, and particularly in the U.S., waiting for some man to have the balls to actually approach her and not act like a complete asshole.

    Go have a wild night of sex with someone. Unbidden, sweaty, selfish, all about you getting off sex. Forget being nice or a gentleman, and just fuck your partner for the pure joy of you getting off. Stop being a “good guy” – and she’ll cum like a freight train. Interesting, isn’t it?

    Even more truth? More than a few women want a secret sexual partner, outside of their social circle and even current lovers that they can be dirty and “slutty” with – not all, but I say the rest are just repressed. You see, within a social circle, having the reputation as a slut is bad due to people like you, and also with other women it’s seen as cheapening what they are trying to hold dear. Me? Fuck all those women, I’m up for finding the women who want to connect with their “inner pervert” with me, as my current occasional hot young partner does. That is more fun that 1000 romantic nights with your wife, trust me. And the best part? I don’t have to pretend it’s about anything other than sexual enjoyment – or just enjoyment period. She likes it. And she didn’t get good as sex by going to church – what, am I going to complain?

    You might want to consider digesting the Red Pill and becoming a libidinous horndog like me. It’s fun down here in the mud!

  50. Ryan,

    You are probably partially correct on the ego comment. Thing is, one realization one should have is that having a bit of an ego isn’t a bad thing. It’s a sorry dog that wont wag it’s own tail.

    I’m just a tiny shadow compared to Rollo’s stature and influence, but I have some status based on the quality of my thoughts and writing, and life experience. I don’t want that getting diluted by an obvious troll.

    The troll was using my online name to make points I think are inane and give the false impression I had disavowed previous statements.

    Interestingly, this points to a new strategy in manosphere opponents which is active trolling and disinformation.

  51. @ Gregg

    “Hating women because of their biology is Blue Pill. A Red Pill man accepts reality and deals with it.”

    Forget “blue pill” or “red pill”. Are you a man? If so, behave like one. Argue with what has been said using your brain and not emotions/shaming language like woman. If there is something what is untrue in my post, say it and provide better alternative.

    Forget “blue pill” or “red pill”.<I

    Forget useful jargon?

    Are you a man? If so, behave like one. Argue with what has been said using your brain and not emotions/shaming language like woman.

    Quit being a d1ck.

    If there is something what is untrue in my post, say it and provide better alternative.

    Done and done. Women make decisions the way that they do based on biology. Your whining about that and longing for the days when hypergamy was reined in is absurd. Play the hand that you’re dealt, don’t whine about it.

  52. @ thepatriotblogspot

    Fact: If you’re not the Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, or George Clooney type….probably Johnny Depp and several others, all you are is a wallet and you’re invisible.

    Nonsense. I was over at a hookup dance venue dancing with a lot of women, some of them quite lovely. I especially danced a lot (8 dances?) with one whom I met that night who was one of the hottest in the crowded bar. She was young enough to be my daughter. I told her that I had done pickup during my teen years. I asked her if she had found anyone interesting and she said just one. I wonder who that could be since she only danced one dance with any other man? I wasn’t invisible to her and she knew that she was young enough to be my daughter. (She was spooked by the age diff for a bit; I danced with her friend a bunch, then teased her by flicking her topknot as I passed her, after which she relaxed. I also danced with some other hotties while my main flirting/dancing target was wonky.) There’s no reason that any man need ever be invisible except because of his own social ineptitude. I say this as an autist.

    A couple of young men in the bar congratulated me, saying that I was awesome and an inspiration to them, being so much older and getting so much attention from lovely women.

    I have taken vows and did not pursue anything beyond dancing and flirting; I went home alone at 1:30 a.m. by my choice. Mrs. Gamer was out of town at the time.

  53. Just want to say that although your genetic sequence is determined at conception (not birth), genetics overall are not as fixed in stone as some think.

    Epigenetics – the science of gene expression – describes a dynamic interface between the code and the environment. Genetic function can be silenced or promoted, depending on circumstance.

    Working to improve your health and your life circumstance can absolutely improve your genetic profile as subconsciously perceived by women: your consciousness, neurotransmitter status, hormonal balance, pheromones, etc.

    This is why so-called “dominance” behaviour isn’t always succesful. The guy who’s paraniod/hypervigilant/aggressive may occupy a higher status position as a result, but he smells like cortisol on top of being a douche socially.

    Chill cat smells like serotonin or whatever… CEO’s wife wants to bang him not only for that reason, but also because socially, he broadcasts that he doesn’t give too many fucks, so he must have his shit together. Add to that enough RP awareness that he knows and accepts a bit about her nature, he’s not gonna not pedestalize her/have unrealisitic expectations, and she can just be herself around him.

    Big Baboon gonna get taken out sooner or later, she knows that.

    It’s all about being as much in charge of your own world as possible (hard work), while learning to be zen about what you can’t control (philosophy), and it’s worth it.

  54. @Morpheus,
    Judging by your defensiveness, I’ll say my comment had more red pill truth than you were willing to swallow. Just take it all in, man. I’ve been there before and you’ll eventually come to understand.
    By the way, I have never heard of you and you can’t “own” an internet handle. I simply picked the name because of The Matrix.

    @Rollo,
    “Women don’t hate average looking “just a guy” men, they are indifferent to them.”

    It’s pretty disheartening when you realize that a big bulk of men are “just a guy” and even when you lay some girls, they’ll quickly drop you for a better guy. I know this is hypergamy at its core but what gets me is that the very things you work hard on to improve your market value, don’t matter when most of your value was already established at conception.

    In college, I’ll notice that when a girl leaves and I see (or when I’ve personally met) this “better guy”, he doesn’t have better game; he’s simply better looking. I tried to ignore this at first but a lot of commentators in the manosphere really made me think about it even further.

    @others,
    Guys, I’m simply sharing my perspective on things. I mean just have a look around the manosphere and you’ll see guys coming to the same conclusion as I did. There was a post of ROK where many men came out of woodwork and expressed my views to varying degrees, but the message was the same. It was a popular post for a week, until the post was deleted. I believe it was a post on paying for prostitution.

    You’ll find these type of truths deleted and shunned away from many popular game sites. Both Roosh and Roissy will delete anything that deals with the power of looks. These guys (especially Roosh) know what they’re doing and yet, they still feel the need to delude men into thinking that only game matters. Roosh hints at looks being very important in two posts. I can’t recall the exact title of the blog posts but one was about a rat experiment (it was on penis size) and another one was when he was out gaming with a handsome dutch roommate.

    I’ve been through it all and game isn’t as nearly as important as physical looks. So this “system” of finding new hope is useless when that very system wasn’t in your favor to begin with.

  55. @ David
    So what you are saying is:
    I guess in all of this, I have really learned a couple things that will guide me:
    1) – Marry a girl who is definitely less hot than you. For some reason, I feel that, even in the event of financial setbacks, if she thinks you are hotter than her, she will keep you. IF you’re just a wallet that’s no good anymore, then good bye pal.
    So, your advice is to marry an ugly woman who couldn’t leave you because no other man would want her. OK…
    2)
    1B) Make damn sure that your wife was one of several possible candidates and that she is aware of this somehow. I feel like your wife will always secretly hate that she married the man nobody else wanted. In other words, display a lot of optionality before marriage.
    Make sure that your ugly wife knows that you could have chosen from a large pool of ugly women and that she is lucky that you chose her.
    3) Make sure she has not experienced alpha kok in the past. Or, make sure your much better than past experiences. Good luck.
    Hire a PI to document all of her previous sexual encounters for you to review. If she was ever with someone who is better than you, find a another ugly woman to marry.
    4) Never get fat. Always be in prime physical shape. Always be doing more than her.
    The only thing you’ve said that isn’t ridiculous. Why be doing more than her though? If you’re in great shape, that’s it. Now if you married a top professional female athlete, and you’re not an even more successful male athlete, you’ve screwed up. Rory dodged a bullet on that one.
    5) Always have a higher income than her.
    Check out cooking meth if necessary. Apparently it can be rather lucrative if the TV isn’t lying to us.
    6) Never display fear of future or uncertainty. She prefers your BS even if she knows it’s BS. She wants to believe you are or could be the king of the world.
    No woman wants to hear BS from you that she knows is BS. She doesn’t think a guy spouting BS is king of the world.
    7) Have strong financial systems and backups during your marriage that can sustain your family without a hitch.
    Be rich. Really? How much is enough? $5 million? $500 million? If I had that kind of money I be sexing up lingerie models ( local ads are fine) 24/7. Screw getting married. Also she can leave with half whenever she wishes, and still hit you up for alimony
    8) Enter the marriage with certain asset protection trusts setup prior that will ensure you are fine even if she divorces you. I think she will be more attracted to you during the marriage if she knows that her divorcing you will not devastate you financially. Of course, this step is difficult but worth it if you can accumulate a worthwhile amount prior to marriage. No prenup needed either.
    Again, be rich. Have lots of money that she can never get to. Like gold bars and chests full of jools. I also agree she will be more attracted to you if you have vaults full of booty on your private island.
    I don’t think becoming a top 20% man is as difficult as it seems.
    Do you know what percentage of men get into the top 20%? THE TOP 20%!!! You have to be better than the other 80% of men who are actively competing with you.
    Sure, it seems we have to work harder than our fathers did.
    Because the system was not rigged against them. If a woman left your father I the 50s or 60’s, she was leaving empty handed. He kept everything, house, kids and money. Society has done a 180 since then and now the man loses everything he’s worked for.
    I guess the reward of knowing all this would be in receiving enthusiastic sex from your wife because she is actually into you.
    Sex from your ugly wife, would still leave you if she could find a more attractive meth-cook/pirate captain who would take her.

  56. @Glenn

    Thanks for the message Glenn… While i totally agree with you that “marriage, courtly love, romance, and chivalry” are feminine imperative blue-pill conditioning, i’m also optimistic that it’s possible to have a red-pill family life as a strong patriarch with many children and a proper frame… This is the thrust of my last comment, i think this article gives a good model for success. Never make your woman your mission. She is a sidekick….tagging along for the ride.

    Will probably continue to follow your advice for the foreseeable future, as this culture of ours is much more conducive to “playing in the mud” than starting a family with a high-character traditional woman. Been into the “serial monogamy” thing for the past 10-years, but thinking about cutting that loose now that i’m hitting my stride.

  57. Damn. I thought this was going to be a Star Wars post…

    Seriously, though I have always said that men are the true romantics. Hell, it was men who invented the concept of “romantic love” in the Middle Ages and the age of Chivalry. It’s ours dammit!

    I’ve long since gone through the Red Pill grieving process of denial, anger, depression and have generally internalized what works for me. I am enjoying my post-divorce single life and generally can get laid when I want.

    But I do get the hopeless hope thing. I can’t even listen to what I now consider the Blue Pill Beta’s Anthem, CSNY’s “Helplessly Hoping” without wanting to vomit or punch Stephen Stills in the face. Or both.

  58. @Morpheus

    “Interestingly, this points to a new strategy in manosphere opponents which is active trolling and disinformation.”

    This, yes.^^^^
    I was just doing a refresher read on the Misandry Bubble over the weekend and I could not help but sense that somewhere in the Hivemind that someone is using that piece for their assault playbook. The strategy seems to be like that espoused by NASA for dealing with asteroids that might one day hit the earth. You don’t have to destroy it, you judge have to get next to it with a spacecraft and give it a little nudge so it changes its orbit ever so slightly and it will sail on by the earth and eventually perhaps crash into the sun. “Move along, nothing to see here”.

    The persistent “looks trumps game” trolling around here also feels to be in the same vein. Everyone is of course entitled to their opinions, but it strikes me that the prof HW and his ilk either want to work a sustained take down on Rollo, or they genuinely cannot bring themselves to fully swallow the pill, accept the truth, and go apply themselves again and again and again until they start to get some traction in the pooniverse.

    I am a middle aged married guy who still has some more pounds to lose to even get to a healthy state much less a hawt one, I am balding with a weird hairline. I never thought of myself as particularly handsome past 30 years old, slightly above average at best. Yet to this day I can endlessly make sly comments to girls half my age and have them respond with playful laughing and I can easily drag it into flirting territory. I cannot remember the last time I got “fuck you creep” glare or scowl. Women in my own age group, married, single or otherwise attached are all easy to flirt with and more than a few in the past year have made it clear I could bed them if I choose. These are not 2-3 SMV warpigs I am spending my time on, no these are half way decent looking women.

    So how is it that I can so easily enjoy their attention? For the record, no, I am not 6’4″, I do not exceed 5’11”. I suggest that I may do this due to “game”, applied charisma and the natural confidence I exude. The swagger I carry down the street and into a room.

    Why just the other day I was walking down the a busy street with lots of pedestrians in a market area of our city. A young lady musician was filming a music video with a full film crew . I saw her from some distance off and saw her and her producers scanning the crowds for something. Then as I got close she picked ME out and came right up and asked if I’d dance with her in the road for this video. She had hundreds of men to choose from, a variety of ages, races, heights and weights, yet there I was as her choice. We spoke and joked for a minute, she explained what she wanted, we did a little practice, then did two takes for her film crew. At first she hesitated because we had to dance backwards through an intersection with traffic and such. I looked at her and said, “babe, don’t worry about the traffic, they’ll stop for me”. Her eyes went wide, a huge smile broke out and she giggled like a little girl. We did our dance and she asked if I’d come back for some more later.

    “You should be so lucky honey.”, more giggles and a big hug and smiles from her. Genetics, hardly.

  59. From your images, I see facial hair on a man indicating sexuality. What about Yul Brynner?

    Yes. Absolutely.

    Facial hair might just be sexual for me as I find it highly masculine. But the sexuality is more exuded from their facial expressions, posture, stance, etc rather than just their looks. Show me a beautiful man and take a picture of him with the right body language and he will go into the sexual category and vice versa.

  60. agent p you highlight an interesting inversion: very good-looking guys can not pull off lines like that as easily. They get written off as self absorbed pricks. Ladies have a harder time relaxing around them. In some ways, guys who aren’t model-good-looking have an advantage, they’re easier to have a good time with.

  61. @ agent p @ adsgamer – DITTO. Fucking DITTO. Not saying I can transform myself into a 10. But I can be confident and it shows. I flirt with women like mad and get absolutely ridiculous attention from young women sometimes too. Sometimes I walk around with a lot of tension in my body and on my face and it’s exactly then that I don’t get responses from women. When I’m smiling and have my shoulders back and am in a relaxed pose, it just happens. And I don’t spray my pants the moment some woman is nice to me, I jump in with both feet and have some fun with it.

    I just love the comment about flirting. Any guy on this thread who can’t get laid should work on just flirting. Do it with fat, ugly girls first. Fyi, fuck a few of them if that’s what you need to do to get your mojo going. I have only done so after 10 beers or more (and haven’t had a drink in 19 years) but in fact, fat women are grateful and generous lovers. Why? Because they have to be so. Of course sometimes you have to push down on their stomachs with the heel of your hand to make the vulva pop up, but such are the wages of sin…

  62. kfg said it best in the last comment section:

    “In the west being disillusioned is generally taken to be a cause for depression. In the east being disillusioned is generally taken to be the path to enlightenment.”

  63. The feminist movt. Is nothing more than a divide and conquer technique.

    Its OBVIOUS guys.

    Object: Further exploit.

    Cia funded this. Its documented.

  64. @agent p & J4G Morpheus, I recognize the trolling tactic, but it’s nothing i haven’t dealt with before.

    Reductio ad absurdum:
    http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Reductio_ad_absurdum

    The troll is that fat, balding, old men are ridiculously rebuilding their egos in thinking that Game / Red Pill truths (as defined in as absolute terms as the troll is capable) will make them sexually irresistible to SMV-prime women.

    So you get the binary argument that Game (as straw-man defined by the troll) and red pill awareness are useless and irrelevant since all that matters to EVERY woman is getting wet for apex Alpha male athletes. For all of men’s “figuring things out” it makes no difference, you’re all hopeless and no amount of self-improvement will change the Alpha Fucks über alles scenario so go back to whatever it was you were doing you ridiculous men.

    That’s the reductio.

  65. @ Glenn

    With young women, if you’re married, you have to watch them carefully, cause lots of them will try to poach. Three recently seemed to be leaning that way. One was talking about how older men are so much more confident, chivalrous (lol), etc. while drinking a beer in my truck. (I was testing her intentions by inviting her to drink a beer with me in my truck and I gave her The Chat ™). Another said that she didn’t want to dance with anyone but me. A third left her seat to come talk with me and got into sexual topics. All mid-20s. Two were very pretty (8s) and one average (6). Two had warm personalities.

  66. I should also add that this “red pill men are just old, balding bitter ridiculous guys who think the red pill will get them laid with the hot 20 something girls who thought they were creeps back then too” is the same tired message a certain former red pill woman blogger imparts to the 7 or 8 people she allows to comment on her corporately owned blog.

  67. At what point did the anti-redpillers decide to mount such a concerted looks-based attack on behavior? Is it just here, especially?

  68. It’s not that I disagree with the very primary importance of looks. What I object to is the idea that this prime-directive is in any way antithetical to the benefits of Game and Red Pill awareness.

    I’ve written many posts on the importance of Looks, but looks don’t negate a need for Red Pill awareness – and that is what the trolls want to propagate.

  69. Rollo,

    Sometimes I read your stuff and think you’re writing about me. Then I read the comments and realize the commonality of my experience. It’s mind blowing. I know that sounds solipsistic, but your post “A New Hope” and your personal observations when you unplugged “(such as it was)” strike a chord in me since I am still struggling with RP awareness.

    Every system of thought has a first principle. Aristotle’s Nicomachean ethics: Happiness is the greatest good. Ayn Rand’s Rational Egoism: An action is rational only if it maximizes ones self-interest. Mill’s Utilitarianism: An action is right if it promotes overall human happiness. Kant: An action can only be good if the principal behind it is an act of good will. Star Trek: The needs of the many out weight the needs of the one.

    I’m not trying to be a pseudo intellectual. I’m genuinely curious; to teach my sons to unplug, where do you start? Where does it all begin?

    It seems that Game is just a manifestation of how to live RP. Since First Principles are assumed. What is the first principle of RP theory?

    “Women should only ever be a complement to a man’s life, never the focus of it.”

    There is no ONE. This is the soul mate myth. There are some good Ones and some bad Ones, but there is no ONE.

    “Hypergamy doesn’t care.”

    “Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved.”

    Or does it even matter. Men are what they are; women act like they act; fuck it and do what you want.

  70. I can certainly understand that a woman might fear that an old balding guy could get laid with a hotter girl than her. It’s an empirically valid concern, since even I could. But I don’t grok the strategem of trying to make the old balding guy jealous by pretending she’s more interested in boring pretty boys than she really is. Nor the flood of (supposed) guys who melt their mascara here crying that women don’t appreciate those guys’ looks enough.

  71. Great post from Rollo. Having unplugged, the takeaway is to treasure every day and enjoy everything life has to offer…..from work to sports to relationships to women and sex. Just live without false hope of security. There is no such thing. There is only your life today and nothing else. Women will be more than happy to be with a man who lives in the moment.

  72. @Atticus, I honestly think that philosophical point of origin as it were is really up to the individual – that’s part of red pill understanding. In fact you may go through several ‘starting points’ before you grasp what works for you.

    My personal point of origin is Enlightened Self-Interest. I cannot help others effectively until I can help myself effectively.

    That’s not a suggestion, it’s just what I think works best for me.

  73. This was a wonderful post, one of Rollo’s best. The red pill is a harsh one, because the conditioning of the feminine imperative is strong and comes at us from all angles, and involves two of the most important relationships in a man’s life – his duty to himself and to his woman.

    Rollo rightly points out that it intrinsically violates male dignity to put her interests before your own, give up hobbies, goals, desires, and then she inevitably falls out of love, lust, marriage, etc.

    But the great point of this article was that the key to sustainable hope is humble recognition of red pill facts, and to seek new goals, not to use Game to realized a non-existent and ephemeral Blue Pill “ideal” that even women fight oppressive and boring.

    This is why Rollo is the philosopher of the manosphere and so wonderful to read. Great post!

  74. and re: earlier topics, one philosophical grounding would be Kant’s directive to not violate one’s duty to oneself – which is why suicide and homosexuality are wrong – intrinsically degrading – “It is not wrong because God forbid it, God forbid it because it was wrong.” The same thing can be said for slavish subservience to the feminine imperative in close relationships

  75. But doesn’t having beta, beta, alpha actions in relationship game help.

    You’re referring to swallowing the pill. Not totally eliminating the strategically planned beta actions, right?

  76. Stingray, you just said women are indifferent to average(men who aren’t obese, have a decent face) men but What i notice is how women expect average men to be Mr. Psychologist, bodyguard, walking atm machine etc even if she’s some random average-looking chick you’re crossing on the street. Women depend on men for everything and with the epidemy of most women getting pumped and dumped by sean bean hunks, its impossible for men to leave the house without gavinha several females per day glancing at the guy and waiting for the guy to give them attention and whatever. Why should i give them What i want when they are all a bunch of attention whores trying to feel good about themselves? They don’t even respect men enough to walk the pavement without their eyes on the floor or on the ground. So i do the only sensible thing. I don’t move out of the way and if they fall to the ground, get up and learn some manners. A man can’t change his looks. His looks are his face and his height. Plastic surgery to look like robert pattison? Expensive. And even that guy got cheated on by his very bland-looking twilight gf.

  77. For the balding Old guy, no. I get it, you a super alpha male in the land of oz, but What you say doesn’t happen. Balding Old guys don’t get Laid with hot, young women. Unless you are living in the poorest areas of china, Stuff like that doesn’t happen. I see old college teachers trying to flirt with hot 20 somethings and i have to hold it deep or I’ll laugh hard. Women aged 18-25. Only respond to looks, and Women aged 25-35 are filled up cum-dumpsters looking for a free ride. Yet i would love to see you hit on young, hot women. I can think of 5 guys from my class who’d make a clown out of you by pulling tons of chicks without opening their mouths. You so alfafa bro.

  78. Yo rollo, the good thing that game teaches men is that women are hypergamous and extremely promiscuous(with hot men). The belief that game can make average men attractive to hot women when average men with game can’t even get it with average women, is silly. Game is not part of fight club. Everyone is familiar with game. Most men try it, believe me, I’ve seen countless men try it with average looking women and they all failed. It is the frat boy who bangs women inside some seedy bathroom, not Games. You are talking about Susan walsh? Lol she’s similar with the mansphere in the regard they “believe” women aren’t as visually-oriented as men are. They are wrong. To fertile women all that matters is how hot the guy is. Come on, i’m the one who sees hundreds of young women if not more per day. You guys don’t.

  79. “5) Never display fear of future or uncertainty. She prefers your BS even if she knows it’s BS. She wants to believe you are or could be the king of the world.”

    Yes, I think there’s a lot of truth in that… I’ve always been rubbish at BS. Of course I could just be talking BS, still rubbish though

  80. @ Plagio – Let me ask you this. When you are furiously masturbating 3-4 times a day to web porn, tell us, are you looking at average looking women? Let’s say you are a 4 – are you jerking off to female 4s? No? You hypergamous bitch! Why can’t you just punch your weight and be happy with women just as fucking ugly as you apparently are?

    You could get a lazy hideous female slob just like yourself and zip yourselves into a nice fleece double body bag with a bag of cheetos and the remote and be together in bliss. Laying around all day, getting fatter and more disgusting, watching TV and commenting on websites, and complaining about how the whole world is set against you. When the urge hits, you could rub your greasy body parts together until you get off and then just go back to the TV. I mean, I’m sure you could find some brood sow who would be happy for you to take her on that ride.

    Tell us. What exactly is it do you think women are missing out on with you? Your “inner beauty”? Your character? Your inspiring and positive outlook? Your supportive vibe? Your wise soul? Nah, I bet you come off as angry loser – just as you do here. Stay mad and keep living a life in which you refuse to improve yourself, it seems like that is working really well for you. All you do here is provide what I call a “negative” example for guys like me. Focus and attitude are everything in life, and your’s is disempowering and very negative. It’s shocking that women aren’t clamoring to get some of that.

  81. In a secure, leisured situation, women may well imagine they have the latitude to select for physique/handsomeness (and it’s only mens’ ‘lack of maturity’ foiling their desire).
    IRL it’s any port in a storm for them, and well they know it. Never voluntarily single (AWALT).
    One oddity that demonstrated this to me was observing the avoidant, haughty attitude of even very average-looking girls (borderline battletoad that I couldn’t even ) in “safe ” places (bars, shops, in class; all of that), wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.

    However, standing at crosswalks (I’m a rotten anarchist, I always wait for the light; it’s only fair on the drivers), I was repeatedly struck (sometimes literally) by wide-eyed, stumbling girls who’d assumed right of way over the mad innercity traffic as much as everything else in their ludicrously pampered lives. Having launched themselves, of course retreat would be unthinkable for Nature’s aristocracy. So onward they plunge, and here’s the odd bit, and instinctively make a bee-line for the solitary man (moi) standing on the other side, often deviating considerably from the optimum route to safety, to the point of actual collision with the man standing minding his own across the way. Then, having masked their panicked faces, they shake themselves a bit and shoot me a dirty look. And I wasn’t even laughing. Yet.

    Any ideas, people? I’ve dreamt up several shoddy hypotheses, but haven’t devised a way of (ethically lol) testing them so far.
    Is it they don’t trust their co-fems on my side not to shove them literally under the bus? Do exhaust fumes add inches to my stature and beauty?

  82. RE: trollspotting.
    Easy-peasy lemon squeezy. They latch onto a single commenter or an irrelevant side-topic, and just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and..

    Cases in point, superannuated stoner LivingTroll, batty old PlainJane, Hardwiggs

    Constitutionally incapable of grasping van der Rohe’s advice that less is more.

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