A New Hope

hope

Towards the end of The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill I wrote this:

The truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make truth hurt any less, nor does it make truth any prettier, and it certainly doesn’t absolve you of the responsibilities that truth requires. One of the biggest obstacles guys face in unplugging is accepting the hard truths that Game forces upon them. Among these is bearing the burden of realizing what you’ve been conditioned to believe for so long were comfortable ideals and loving expectations are really liabilities. Call them lies if you want, but there’s a certain hopeless nihilism that accompanies categorizing what really amounts to a system that you are now cut away from. It is not that you’re hopeless, it’s that you lack the insight at this point to see that you can create hope in a new system – one in which you have more direct control over.

One of the hardest lessons I had to learn when I unplugged (such as it was) was throwing away ‘hope’.

Not real, internal, personal hope, but rather the ‘hope’ I had been led to believe was a realizable state – if circumstances, if personalities, if fate or some other condition defined by the feminine imperative would just align in such a way that I’d been conditioned to believe it could, then that feminine defined contentment could be actualized.

I wanted very much to realize that idealized state by defining hope (or having it defined for me) in a context that was never of my own real choosing. I got just as depressed as anyone else when I unplugged. I got angry. I didn’t want to think that I’d invested so much of myself in something that was fundamentally unattainable because the my understanding of it had been incorrect, either deliberately or by my own hopeful interpretations of it.

My own ‘unplugging’ was a gradual affair and came after a lot of drawn out trauma. And yes, to realize that all of that trauma amounted to nothing after hoping and struggling to mold myself into something that I was led to believe was achievable it was even more depressing.

It wasn’t until I realized that the hope I was sold came from the same social paradigm that never held my best interests as a priority that I threw it away. That was a tough day because I realized in doing so I would have to find a new sense of hope for myself. It seemed very nihilistic at the time, and I had to really make an effort not to make that choice from a sense of self-pity.

One particularly hard revelation I had to disabuse myself of was understanding that women love differently than men. That was tough to embrace because the old hope I was struggling to realize was based on the primary tenet of blue pill thinking; the equalist notion that men and women share a mutually recognized, mutually accepted concept of love.

Once I understood this was an idealization rather than a reality, and that women can and do love men deeply, but in an entirely different feminine-specific concept of love, I discovered that I no longer ‘hoped’ for that mutuality and embraced the hope that men and women could still genuinely love each other from their own perspectives of love without a mutual consensus.

I remembered then an older man I had done some peer counseling with while in college and how this man had essentially striven his entire life to please and content his ex-wife and his now second wife of more than 30 years. From his early 20s he’d spent his personal life in a hopeful attempt at contenting, appeasing and qualifying for a mutually shared state of love he believed these women (the only 2 he’d ever had sex with) had a real capacity for.

At 73 (now) he’s spent his life invested in a hope that simply doesn’t exist – that he can be loved as a man ideally believes a woman ought to be able to love him – just as all the romantic, feminine-defined ideals of love he’d learned from a feminine-centric social order had convinced him of for so long.

This is why I say men are the True Romantics, because the overwhelming majority will devote a lifetime to the effort of actualizing a belief in a male-idealized love to find fulfillment in a woman and for that woman.

Old Hope for New Hope

I hope that doesn’t sound too fortune cookie, but it’s a prime example of redefining hope in a new red pill-aware paradigm. You can hope and thrive in a new red pill context – I know I do – but it’s much easier when you internalize red pill truths and live with them in a red pill context instead of force-fitting them into your old, feminine-defined, blue pill context. I can imagine what my marriage would look like if I hadn’t made the red pill transition and learned to use that awareness in it. There are a lot of guys paying ‘marriage coaches’ $149 an hour because they never did.

There was a comment buried in last week’s comment thread from Hobbes that was too good not to include in its entirety here:

I think I get it!

For years I have been bitter about this need to “perform” about how this shows that women do not love us as we love etc.. And just now I was reviewing my old relationships and I recalled something.

In each of my relationships, prior to meeting the women I eventually fell in love with, I was constantly working on myself, I would get in shape, hang out with friends, explore my environment and work on myself and my music etc. As soon as I would “fall in love” I would slowly drop those activities, I’d focus on being a good bf, I would focus on providing and “being what she wanted” what I thought she wanted, better said.

But here is my Eureka moment, what I recalled each time was being unhappy, what I recall each time was feeling boxed in and kind of dull.. of feeling trapped.

Is this what Rollo means when he says our response to women is a conditioning, and that the sadness we get from Red Pill truth is the result of behaving and believing something that is not really our nature, but the result of having someone else’s behaviors and beliefs installed into us?

So I think I finally understand it for myself… the talk of putting yourself first, of “performing” etc is really just a way of saying “you don’t have to do what people say you’re supposed to do in a relationship – you don’t have to drop everything for her, you don’t have to stop doing what you like and love and you don’t have to kiss her ass”

In my case I dropped everything for two reasons. One was to do what I thought I was supposed to do.. what I heard women say they wanted from a man, what my mother said a man should be etc.. and the second reason was insecurity. I wanted her to love me, I didn’t want to rock the boat, I was scared of losing her.. so eventually I did. I believed that in order for me to be worthy of her, of her love, I had to go along and give her what she said she wanted, what I was taught she wanted.

Is this what Rollo and everyone else is talking about? Because I think I finally get it. Up to now I have faked my Game, to some extent. I just knew better than to do certain things or did things I knew would make me attractive, etc. to women. But seeing this now, not only am I realizing there is nothing to be bitter about – I was always happier working on myself and my interests and actually resentful of having to stop them – but that I am actually happier doing this thing women want of us we call “performing”.

In a way, you are performing, as Rollo says, either way. If you stop and think you can rest, in many ways you are doing so because you have been conditioned to believe, as I was, that you should. That real love meant you could and should.
Anyway, maybe this is simply me and my personal experience of it, but it makes sense to me.. and I think this has revealed to me something monumental, personally. Maybe other guys have a different experience of it, but this is how I have seen it played out in my life.

I feel better.

The key to living in a red pill context is to unlearn your blue pill expectations and dreams of finding  contentment in them, and replace them with expectations and aspirations based on realistic understandings of red pill truths.

Learn this now, you will never achieve contentment or emotional fulfillment in a blue pill context with red pill awareness.

Killing your inner Beta is a difficult task and part of that is discarding an old, comfortable, blue pill paradigm. For many newly unplugged, red pill aware, men the temptation is to think they can use this new understanding to achieve the goal-states of their preconditioned blue pill ideals. What they don’t understand is that, not only are these blue pill goal-states flawed, but they are also based on a flawed understanding of how to attain them.

Red pill awareness demands a red pill context for fulfillment. Oracle Z wrote a fantastic article on Return of Kings this week called Why you shouldn’t seek emotional fulfillment through women. It’s well worth the read, but what Oracle Z outlines here is a fulfillment based on feminine-primary, blue pill conditions for that contentment. Even when men achieve these blue pill goal-states, the ones they’re conditioned to believe they should want for themselves, they find themselves discontent with those states and trapped by the liabilities of them.

Just as Hobbes illustrated, the periods when he was not striving to achieve or maintain those blue pill goal-states were the times he was most fulfilled with his life, talents and ambitions.

As if this weren’t enough to convince a man he needs to re-imagine himself in a red pill-primary context, when women are presented with ‘the perfect guy‘ in a blue pill context they gradually (sometimes immediately) come to despise him. As proven by their actions, even women don’t want that blue pill perfected goal-state because it stagnates the otherwise exciting, self-important men they are aroused by, and attracted to in a red pill context.

I’ve stated this in prior posts, but it bears repeating,

“Women should only ever be a complement to a man’s life, never the focus of it.”

Living in a blue pill context, and hoping you can achieve fulfillment in its fundamentally flawed goal-states, conditions men to make women the focus of their lives. Throw that hope away and understand that you can create hope in a new system – one in which you have more direct control over.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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DeNihilist
Guest
DeNihilist

Interesting Rollo. Going into Osho’s Ashram in Oregon, one of the neighbors had posted a sign “abandon hope, all ye who enter here” Osho did a full discourse on this sign alone, the gist of it being that hope is a dream state, so to wake up, to realize reality, the neighbor was right, we had to “abandon hope”.

Ang Aamer
Guest

“Abandon hope, all ye who enter here” good quote and appropriate Another quote: “Hope Is Not a Strategy” Beta IS “hoping” that your strategy of female social engagement yields a positive result in the END. Alpha is “doing” a strategy of female social engagement while yielding positive results in the NOW. A mans Performance is DOING. A mans reward is in the NOW. It might be ephemeral but unplugging means disconnection from our female-strategy enabled promises of positive results LATER. In the end Abandoning Hope forces a man to concentrate on the NOW. This is obviously uncomfortable. It’s tough to… Read more »

Morpheus
Guest
Morpheus

I’ve been reading the comments for the past 3 months or so and as a Gamer, I’ve came to a depressing red pill conclusion: What’s even more depressing is the fact that a majority of men (80%) will never receive a woman’s genuine love simply because his genetic stock isn’t desirable. I’ve seen the studies that show desire does have a biological/scientific basis and that raw, feral, primal desire is reserved only for men of high genetic value. What was shocking to me was that women can actually taste/ smell good genes during a first kiss and thus render if… Read more »

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[…] See original:   A New Hope […]

Morpheus
Guest
Morpheus

Morpheus” at 2:45 AM is an impostor/phony. This is Morpheus of JFG. I guess I am important enough to attract trolls to sockpuppet with my username.

Rollo, do me a favor and email me the email address associated with this comment and the IP address so I can cross-check the IP against our commenters to see if I find anything.

My best guess is this is one of Giggles pathetic omega chicks.

rivsdiary
Guest

this, right? III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority. Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”.… Read more »

pactumus
Guest
pactumus

Rollo, as a new red pill convert I see the world a whole different way. I know see the feminine influence everywhere. (I know longer watch the early morning talk shows or the movie chick flicks). It was difficult accepting the truth about women. It was being told “can’t we just be friends” by a woman I fell in love with that brought me to the manosphere. Unbelievably it was the first time hearing that. I’ve tried telling by blue pill friends and my own brother about the manosphere. Only to be told that; I hate women! I’m know happily… Read more »

Morpheus
Guest
Morpheus

BTW 2:45 AM, you must be one f’ed bitch in the head. You must find me expressing my thoughts pretty terrifying to sockpuppet.

Morpheus
Guest
Morpheus

Last comment on this…. rereading the comment I’ve identified more than a few grammatical mistakes which leads me to believe English is a second language for the writer. I think it is one of Giggles commenters, and I think I know which one.

douchebagdeluxe
Guest

Can Morpheus not be some other dude who just happens to like this nick? Also he does make a valid point regarding genetic fitness.

david
Guest
david

Now I fully realize why a man’s self concept is so tied to his career. If he loses his job or falters for a period, the only love he receives in this world is at enormous risk of being obliterated. (many men lose their friendships once married) Why are you at work all the time? Well, you see honey, you literally will stop loving me if I suffer any setbacks. And, if my faltering lasts long enough, you will leave me, take our children, and enforce a contract that could result in my imprisonment if I’m unable to have continued… Read more »

anarcho
Guest
anarcho

I see it as the contrast between a best friend and a fair-weather friend. Most guys got a couple of friends who even if you lost your fortune or were accused of some crime would stick by you, unlike the fair-weather friends who’d fade away. Guys want their woman to be a best friend with tits. Unfortunately women are much more like fair-weather friends whose affection for you is based on how you make them feel.

vinay3543
Guest

Men who adhere to red pill concepts (of which the vast majority will be previous blue pill believers) may sometimes fall into the easy trap of feeling isolated. When all is said and done, red pill advocators will, in my estimations, make up 97% will predominantly be blue pill men of course, however there is also a small proportion of men who believe in red pill concepts but who can’t quite bring themselves to act this way in practice (think of a friend who just shrugs his shoulders when you offer him the truth, with an expression of accepting you’re… Read more »

Ross
Guest
Ross

@ Morpheus Even if what you say is true, I still think in the end women have it just as hard or maybe even harder. I mean out of all the women I see when I’m out, I can really only think of a couple that I would consider banging. And even less than that I would consider dating. Hot girls also have a ton of competition from other hotties, so in the end the hottest girl will win the best guy and there isn’t a damn thing she can do about it. If she loses her looks the the… Read more »

Plagio
Guest
Plagio

The behavior displayed by that kid are not blue pillers behaviors.Those are doormat’s. My father is the biggest blue piller in the world. That kid on the other hand has potential to became free. If he forgets the nonsense taught at purple pill forums and at red pill forums. Game doesn’t make men attractive to women, game only makes men easier to be ruled by women. Looks are all that matters to women, something you are born with, and women are incapable of loving any man. Women are only capable of feeling lust(for men like orlando bloom) and greed(for bill… Read more »

vinay3543
Guest

Correction to above comment:
Red pill men = 97%

vinay3543
Guest

Red pill = 97%

If I didn’t know better, I’d think someone was editing my comments…

melmoth
Guest
melmoth

I’m just so glad that all of these truths came to me at least in mid-life. It would be nice if they’d come earlier but I can’t imagine the 70-somethings who have taken an interest in red-pill writings. Then they come to the painful conclusion that it was all a ruse. They look over at their spoiled, wrinkled bitch of a wife and realize that they gave it all away for just another person. A simple person. Not the magical, exalted being they were led to covet. How sad. David, I’m not trying to contentious or critical, but your checklist… Read more »

Plagio
Guest
Plagio

Hey guys, if you want to add validity to the red pill world, don’t go around calling people who don’t agree with your viewpoints to be “gammas” We are all of subpar quality here. I honestly doubt there are any 25 year Old johnny depp here, high genetic quality men aren’t redpillers, although i would like to see you talk to a psychologist regarding all of that game nonsense, and don’t forget to tell them how you think you are morpheus. Psychologists need money too.

earl
Guest
earl

“Abandon hope, all ye who enter here” good quote and appropriate.”

That’s the sign above entering Hell.

If you are a man who places hope in women…that’s where you go.

BC
Guest
BC

rivsdiary beat me to it – The Sixteen Commandments Of Poon

Read it, do it, then read it again and understand it.

titanic
Guest

I’ve come to see Red Pill as much more “being myself” (irony intended). Most men are inherently Red Pill but society has imposed layer upon layer of Blue Pill bullshit upon us. In Antifragile, Nassim Taleb talks about how removing negative things (i.e. Blue Pill thinking) from a system (i.e. your life) will produce greater results than adding positive things (i.e. working harder to please her). Even a simple social niceties like saying “thank you” I now do sparingly, only when I really mean it. Otherwise I’m wasting a small amount of my finite energy with a result of being… Read more »

earl
Guest
earl

“Most men will wake up to the realities of the sexual market place and come to this depressing conclusion.”

That women have the sexual desire…and men’s desire comes from labor.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+3+%3A16-19&version=NASB

Hence better to focus on your mission and let her worry about triggering sexual desire.

titanic
Guest

A good example of Red Pill thinking within a Blue Pill context is the Robert Glover book No More Mr. Nice Guy. That book came out 11 years ago and preached a good message but within the standard self-help paradigm. Ultimately a less powerful message than it could have otherwise been.

I heard Glover on a podcast recently and he was much more Red Pill about how men should operate their lives. Basically his message now is that women should only complement a man’s life, as Rollo says.

theasdgamer
Guest

Rollo, I had a Twilight Zone experience last night. My wife was saying how she was sure that I had a gf in a very b1tchy manner even as she instigated a bang. She was saying how men deny, deny, deny and how women shouldn’t trust ever and how she would divorce my a$$ if she ever found out that I had cheated. All the while she moved for the bang. It was like she simultaneously hated and loved the idea that I had cheated. Then she was sweet as pie after that and still very flirty. Bear in mind… Read more »

Onder Hassan
Guest
Onder Hassan

I’ve been in the situation that Rollo commented on one too many times in my past relationships. And I would often wonder why they didn’t work out. But it wasn’t until understanding male/female dynamics that it all made sense to me. For a women to keep chasing and pursuing the man she “loves”, she has to have a reason to want to chase him in the first place. There are various variables to consider and bare in mind. Firstly, a man who is focused on his goals and ambitions is a man who isn’t static; He is always growing and… Read more »

titanic
Guest

@theasdgamer

Love the description of your wife “moving in for the bang.”

earl
Guest
earl

Why even try to give what women think they want? Chris Rock said it best.

“You can’t make a woman happy, it’s impossible. I’ve never met a happy woman in my life, woman are always complaining about something. Shit, woman like to complain, woman save up shit to complain about. ‘Oh he don’t even know I know but I’m going to get his ass on that shit, next month’. They like fucking complaining, they love it. No matter what you do, she’ll be mad.”

Gnarkillicious
Guest
Gnarkillicious

This article has hit me like a punch in the gut. Overwhelmingly true and accurate. Faking my Game has brought me only limited success because I haven’t internalized it. I have subconsciously clung to my old beta “hopes” and expectations. This will force some much needed introspection and a change in my base thought process and actions. Thank you.

Promethean
Guest
Promethean

Working on yourself, making the best of yourself and adding value to yourself; while being red pill aware and improving your game sure as hell beats * NOT working on yourself, not adding value to yourself etc.
Women should not be your main mission in life and it is foolish to make them one’s No.1 priority.
YOU are your number 1 priority. Women are a bonus.
(*What is the other option? … Giving up? … Giving up is NOT an option)

Stingray
Guest

Our current society has basically completely switched gender roles. When blue pill men work to make a woman happy in the hopes of this idealized love, they are assuming a woman’s role. It is women who, in a masculine society who work to make men happy in the hopes of being chosen. And women are quite good at this, when they are taught how. It’s part of our competition. But now we have women who are setting the rules and men bending themselves in the hopes of winning. It should be just the opposite. Men who set the rules and… Read more »

titanic
Guest

@Stringray,

… and the role-reversal is making both sides miserable.

Stingray
Guest

Rollo, you should put this up over at TRP.

Stingray
Guest

Titanic,

Indeed and unsurprisingly it is men who are willing to change this dynamic and many women who are fighting the change tooth and nail. Some women are slowly waking up, but it is going to take them much longer to do so at first, When the new herd has made it’s stamp, though, the influx, I think, will be great.

The bad thing with this, is that when the influx comes, the message will get extremely watered down in an effort to preserve the feminine imperative. Feminist are already trying to redefine themselves as male friendly.

earl
Guest
earl

“YOU are your number 1 priority. Women are a bonus.”

God is the #1 priority…after that everything else works out.

Promethean
Guest
Promethean

Earl; even God cannot help you if you won’t help yourself.

earl
Guest
earl

Making God your #1 priority helps yourself.

Plagio
Guest
Plagio

#1. Smv = sexual market value. I’m surrounded by 17-25 year Old males who never had a job and they’re still highly sought after by women, beautiful women no less. On the other hand my father makes a lot more then any of you and he only had one woman. My mother, an ex parte girl, and my father has always been a decent-looking man, just not hot. I’ve also met many a high-achiever with average looks(not fat) and they couldn’t even get a date with below average or average looking. Working on yourself in order to becoming somenone who… Read more »

Glenn
Guest
Glenn

A wise woman I once knew would often say “Learning implies a permanent change in behavior.” At first it kind of irked me but then at a certain point, I knew exactly what she meant. If your thinking and POV have actually been changed, then how you act will change. If you have just “learned” something so you can recite it, you haven’t really learned anything. Call it “internalizing” perhaps, but many men in the Manosphere haven’t done it. In fact, I think many have used the Red Pill to aggrandize their sense of victimhood, which obviates them actually learning… Read more »

gregg
Guest
gregg

I fully agree that we can not live red pill with blue pill mind. But – marriage is the ultimate blue piller. So how is it possible to live in blue pill contract and realtionship with red pill mind? Emotional detachment IS the solution with women, no doubt about it. But, many questions are popping from the aforementioned sentences: 1. Would you enter into contract in which you promise that you will provide and protect your woman, in good and bad times? Would you sign those papers? Where is the emotional detachment here? Do you actually WANT to provide and… Read more »

Plagio
Guest
Plagio

Stingray, most women hate average looking men. We are not considered to be men by them, We are utilities and as such they’re coming to the awareness that We are not as dumb as We look and that We are becoming familiar with the dualist nature of women’s sexual strategy and that We want no part to do with it. Handsome men get Laid for free with high quality women. Average men have to go on several dates to get a kiss, if they get it at all. That’a retardeded.

Stingray
Guest

Plagio,

Women don’t hate men with average looks. They are indifferent to average men (until these men decide to not walk the blue pill narrative any more. Then it can turn to hate). Yes, look matter, but they are not the be all end all. And most men are more than capable of changing several aspects of their physicality.

Max Power
Guest
Max Power

No they hate average looking men. They’re not allowed to look at women without getting a dirty look.

Stingray
Guest

That’s not hate. That’s a fitness test. It’s also a signal to all her friends of her status. “Oh my gawd! I can’t believe all these men who are looking at me!”

Women give men dirty looks for their own benefit. They don’t do it for the same reason a man will give a dirty look to another man.

Stingray
Guest

Look, if women love differently than men, it stands to reason that they would hate differently, too. A man who is hated by a woman is far closer to ‘getting her”, than a man to whom she is indifferent towards.

gregg
Guest
gregg

@stingray “Our current society has basically completely switched gender roles. When blue pill men work to make a woman happy in the hopes of this idealized love, they are assuming a woman’s role. It is women who, in a masculine society who work to make men happy in the hopes of being chosen. And women are quite good at this, when they are taught how. It’s part of our competition. But now we have women who are setting the rules and men bending themselves in the hopes of winning.” So now it is due to baad society, isn´t it? You… Read more »

theasdgamer
Guest

@ Stingray I think that there are a couple of components to how women perceive looks in a man: 1. beauty and 2. sexuality. The second is more important by far. For instance, Tom Cruise is more beautiful than Yul Brynner, but Yul Brynner was far more attractive to women due to his immense sexuality. Yul Brynner’s sexuality came from his voice, body language, social presence, and facial features. Similarly, Julian McMahon as Victor Von Doom had tremendous sex appeal prior to his transformation due to his charisma. McMahon’s smile adds tremendously to his charisma since it widens his mouth… Read more »

theasdgamer
Guest

@ Gregg

Hating women because of their biology is Blue Pill. A Red Pill man accepts reality and deals with it.

theasdgamer
Guest

@ titanic Mrs. Gamer needed some drama and comfort in her emotional mix; she created the drama and I provided comfort. She had lotta tingles already. In a relationship, the key thing is not the logical question, but the emotional cocktail that a woman needs. I didn’t argue with Mrs. Gamer–I just listened and danced with her and gave her continuous small kisses to reassure her. Her logic was that since I went to a particular bar to dance a lot, I had a gf there. This was total nonsense, but there was no arguing the point with her. She… Read more »

Matatan
Guest
Matatan

Becoming red pill aware inside a marriage is depressing and liberating at the same time. I don’t know how this will end, but I started to not care anymore. My children and fear of divorce rape were the reasons I didn’t leave my wife a few years back. I’ve been changing my attitude the last few months and something is definitely moving between the two of us, in the sense that the balance of power is shifting towards me, even though that was not my explicit objective. I just wanted to feel better about myself and my life. I’ll see… Read more »

gregg
Guest
gregg

@theasdgamer

“Hating women because of their biology is Blue Pill. A Red Pill man accepts reality and deals with it.”

Forget “blue pill” or “red pill”. Are you a man? If so, behave like one. Argue with what has been said using your brain and not emotions/shaming language like woman. If there is something what is untrue in my post, say it and provide better alternative.

DM
Guest
DM

This article is a Godsend… Understanding general red pill truths really gets me into a state of despair, as i’m a very traditional young man, and not particularly inclined to exploit sluts for my own enjoyment (i.e. Heartiste). Definitely helps to know that there is a red pill formula for fulfillment. Actually, “helps” is a huge understatement. The one thing i think the red pill needs more than anything is a positive, optimistic, fulfilling model for life success, and this article comes closer than anything i’ve ever seen. I’ve spent the past few years climbing mountains, competing in ironman triathlons,… Read more »

earl
Guest
earl

“No they hate average looking men. They’re not allowed to look at women without getting a dirty look.”

Big deal about a dirty look. At least you get a lifetime’s worth of info about a girl without spending a cent.

thepatriotblogspot
Guest

The psychological ramifications inherent in knowing something and why it exists (the feminist imperative) and even giving just the slightest modicum of effort trying to circumvent it, to me is absolutely absurd! We should be living for ourselves and not poon. If we get some along the way, then great. If not, that’s great too. I get more fun, exhiliration, adrenaline rush, and satisfaction jumping out of a plane at 14,000 feet falling to the ground at 120mph for about 60 seconds than I will EVER get messing with the typical ameriskank western woman. Fact: Women from teens to late… Read more »

earl
Guest
earl

“Working on yourself in order to becoming somenone who is important in your career will only result. in alimony and Child-support. ” Who said anything about getting married? “Women in their 30s hardly put out for free. They are looking for a meal ticket.” Who said anything about going after women in their 30s? “As for charm, confidence and What not.. Handsome men don’t even haver to say hi to get Laid. Why work for sloppy seconds?” They have to say hi…they have to show some action on their part. It may not be as much work as someone who… Read more »

Bango Tango
Guest
Bango Tango

Chateau Heartiste has deleted my latest comments regarding (once again) the discussion on men’s looks and it’s effect on women. Really dude? You should let your readers debate and make up their own mind but whatever. It’s your blog and all. Rollo, I appreciate that you don’t do this.

Ryan
Guest
Ryan

LMFAO at the ego on TheREALMorpheus obviously the dude just likes the Matrix movies as much as you do 🙂

Listen up anyone here who tries to copy my username will have me to deal with…… I’m the REAL Ryan the rest are imposters!!!!

Stingray
Guest

So now it is due to baad society, isn´t it?
You are FREE to behave as you want.

Sure, people have the choice to behave as they want. But how many people even realize this? It takes education, courage, discipline and more to be free. How many choose this path or even have the wherewithal to see that there is, indeed, another path?

The analogy with the Matrix might annoy a lot of people, but it is incredibly apt.

Glenn
Guest
Glenn

@ DM “Understanding general red pill truths really gets me into a state of despair, as i’m a very traditional young man, and not particularly inclined to exploit sluts for my own enjoyment (i.e. Heartiste).” First off, stop calling women sluts. Pre-Red Pill I never understood this but now? I don’t care how many sexual partners a woman has had as long as she’s not carrying an STD and giving it to me. In fact, the truth is that the more sexually experienced women tend to be a lot more adventurous and dirty sexually, which is a whole lot more… Read more »

Morpheus
Guest
Morpheus

Ryan, You are probably partially correct on the ego comment. Thing is, one realization one should have is that having a bit of an ego isn’t a bad thing. It’s a sorry dog that wont wag it’s own tail. I’m just a tiny shadow compared to Rollo’s stature and influence, but I have some status based on the quality of my thoughts and writing, and life experience. I don’t want that getting diluted by an obvious troll. The troll was using my online name to make points I think are inane and give the false impression I had disavowed previous… Read more »

Stingray
Guest

I think that there are a couple of components to how women perceive looks in a man: 1. beauty and 2. sexuality. The second is more important by far.

I agree. And it is possible for a man to switch between the two or to go from nondescript to sexual.

Beautiful

Sexual

Nondescript
Sexual

theasdgamer
Guest

@ Gregg “Hating women because of their biology is Blue Pill. A Red Pill man accepts reality and deals with it.” Forget “blue pill” or “red pill”. Are you a man? If so, behave like one. Argue with what has been said using your brain and not emotions/shaming language like woman. If there is something what is untrue in my post, say it and provide better alternative. Forget “blue pill” or “red pill”.<I Forget useful jargon? Are you a man? If so, behave like one. Argue with what has been said using your brain and not emotions/shaming language like woman.… Read more »

theasdgamer
Guest

@ thepatriotblogspot Fact: If you’re not the Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, or George Clooney type….probably Johnny Depp and several others, all you are is a wallet and you’re invisible. Nonsense. I was over at a hookup dance venue dancing with a lot of women, some of them quite lovely. I especially danced a lot (8 dances?) with one whom I met that night who was one of the hottest in the crowded bar. She was young enough to be my daughter. I told her that I had done pickup during my teen years. I asked her if she had found… Read more »

D-Man
Guest
D-Man

Just want to say that although your genetic sequence is determined at conception (not birth), genetics overall are not as fixed in stone as some think. Epigenetics – the science of gene expression – describes a dynamic interface between the code and the environment. Genetic function can be silenced or promoted, depending on circumstance. Working to improve your health and your life circumstance can absolutely improve your genetic profile as subconsciously perceived by women: your consciousness, neurotransmitter status, hormonal balance, pheromones, etc. This is why so-called “dominance” behaviour isn’t always succesful. The guy who’s paraniod/hypervigilant/aggressive may occupy a higher status… Read more »

theasdgamer
Guest

@ Stingray

From your images, I see facial hair on a man indicating sexuality. What about Yul Brynner?

Morpheus
Guest
Morpheus

@Morpheus, Judging by your defensiveness, I’ll say my comment had more red pill truth than you were willing to swallow. Just take it all in, man. I’ve been there before and you’ll eventually come to understand. By the way, I have never heard of you and you can’t “own” an internet handle. I simply picked the name because of The Matrix. @Rollo, “Women don’t hate average looking “just a guy” men, they are indifferent to them.” It’s pretty disheartening when you realize that a big bulk of men are “just a guy” and even when you lay some girls, they’ll… Read more »

Femertilizer
Guest

@ David So what you are saying is: I guess in all of this, I have really learned a couple things that will guide me: 1) – Marry a girl who is definitely less hot than you. For some reason, I feel that, even in the event of financial setbacks, if she thinks you are hotter than her, she will keep you. IF you’re just a wallet that’s no good anymore, then good bye pal. So, your advice is to marry an ugly woman who couldn’t leave you because no other man would want her. OK… 2) 1B) Make damn… Read more »

DM
Guest
DM

@Glenn Thanks for the message Glenn… While i totally agree with you that “marriage, courtly love, romance, and chivalry” are feminine imperative blue-pill conditioning, i’m also optimistic that it’s possible to have a red-pill family life as a strong patriarch with many children and a proper frame… This is the thrust of my last comment, i think this article gives a good model for success. Never make your woman your mission. She is a sidekick….tagging along for the ride. Will probably continue to follow your advice for the foreseeable future, as this culture of ours is much more conducive to… Read more »

theasdgamer
Guest

@ http://therationalmale.com/2014/09/29/a-new-hope/#comment-57672

Looks aren’t nearly as important to women as you claim. Without even attempting to, I pull women from much younger, better-looking men.

I think that you’re just a feminist troll. Go away.

LostSailor
Guest

Damn. I thought this was going to be a Star Wars post… Seriously, though I have always said that men are the true romantics. Hell, it was men who invented the concept of “romantic love” in the Middle Ages and the age of Chivalry. It’s ours dammit! I’ve long since gone through the Red Pill grieving process of denial, anger, depression and have generally internalized what works for me. I am enjoying my post-divorce single life and generally can get laid when I want. But I do get the hopeless hope thing. I can’t even listen to what I now… Read more »

agent p
Guest
agent p

@Morpheus “Interestingly, this points to a new strategy in manosphere opponents which is active trolling and disinformation.” This, yes.^^^^ I was just doing a refresher read on the Misandry Bubble over the weekend and I could not help but sense that somewhere in the Hivemind that someone is using that piece for their assault playbook. The strategy seems to be like that espoused by NASA for dealing with asteroids that might one day hit the earth. You don’t have to destroy it, you judge have to get next to it with a spacecraft and give it a little nudge so… Read more »

Stingray
Guest

From your images, I see facial hair on a man indicating sexuality. What about Yul Brynner?

Yes. Absolutely.

Facial hair might just be sexual for me as I find it highly masculine. But the sexuality is more exuded from their facial expressions, posture, stance, etc rather than just their looks. Show me a beautiful man and take a picture of him with the right body language and he will go into the sexual category and vice versa.

D-Man
Guest
D-Man

agent p you highlight an interesting inversion: very good-looking guys can not pull off lines like that as easily. They get written off as self absorbed pricks. Ladies have a harder time relaxing around them. In some ways, guys who aren’t model-good-looking have an advantage, they’re easier to have a good time with.

Glenn
Guest
Glenn

@ agent p @ adsgamer – DITTO. Fucking DITTO. Not saying I can transform myself into a 10. But I can be confident and it shows. I flirt with women like mad and get absolutely ridiculous attention from young women sometimes too. Sometimes I walk around with a lot of tension in my body and on my face and it’s exactly then that I don’t get responses from women. When I’m smiling and have my shoulders back and am in a relaxed pose, it just happens. And I don’t spray my pants the moment some woman is nice to me,… Read more »

Kate
Guest
Kate

kfg said it best in the last comment section:

“In the west being disillusioned is generally taken to be a cause for depression. In the east being disillusioned is generally taken to be the path to enlightenment.”

LiveFearless
Guest

understand that you can create hope in a new system

When unexpected tragedy strikes, survival is dependent on already having done so.

Nathan
Guest
Nathan

The feminist movt. Is nothing more than a divide and conquer technique.

Its OBVIOUS guys.

Object: Further exploit.

Cia funded this. Its documented.

theasdgamer
Guest

@ Glenn With young women, if you’re married, you have to watch them carefully, cause lots of them will try to poach. Three recently seemed to be leaning that way. One was talking about how older men are so much more confident, chivalrous (lol), etc. while drinking a beer in my truck. (I was testing her intentions by inviting her to drink a beer with me in my truck and I gave her The Chat ™). Another said that she didn’t want to dance with anyone but me. A third left her seat to come talk with me and got… Read more »

agent p
Guest
agent p

@Rollo,
Re: Reductio,

Thank goodness NAWALT!!

jf12
Guest
jf12

At what point did the anti-redpillers decide to mount such a concerted looks-based attack on behavior? Is it just here, especially?

Atticus
Guest
Atticus

Rollo, Sometimes I read your stuff and think you’re writing about me. Then I read the comments and realize the commonality of my experience. It’s mind blowing. I know that sounds solipsistic, but your post “A New Hope” and your personal observations when you unplugged “(such as it was)” strike a chord in me since I am still struggling with RP awareness. Every system of thought has a first principle. Aristotle’s Nicomachean ethics: Happiness is the greatest good. Ayn Rand’s Rational Egoism: An action is rational only if it maximizes ones self-interest. Mill’s Utilitarianism: An action is right if it… Read more »

jf12
Guest
jf12

I can certainly understand that a woman might fear that an old balding guy could get laid with a hotter girl than her. It’s an empirically valid concern, since even I could. But I don’t grok the strategem of trying to make the old balding guy jealous by pretending she’s more interested in boring pretty boys than she really is. Nor the flood of (supposed) guys who melt their mascara here crying that women don’t appreciate those guys’ looks enough.

New Yorker
Guest
New Yorker

Great post from Rollo. Having unplugged, the takeaway is to treasure every day and enjoy everything life has to offer…..from work to sports to relationships to women and sex. Just live without false hope of security. There is no such thing. There is only your life today and nothing else. Women will be more than happy to be with a man who lives in the moment.

mike6084
Guest

This was a wonderful post, one of Rollo’s best. The red pill is a harsh one, because the conditioning of the feminine imperative is strong and comes at us from all angles, and involves two of the most important relationships in a man’s life – his duty to himself and to his woman. Rollo rightly points out that it intrinsically violates male dignity to put her interests before your own, give up hobbies, goals, desires, and then she inevitably falls out of love, lust, marriage, etc. But the great point of this article was that the key to sustainable hope… Read more »

mike6084
Guest

and re: earlier topics, one philosophical grounding would be Kant’s directive to not violate one’s duty to oneself – which is why suicide and homosexuality are wrong – intrinsically degrading – “It is not wrong because God forbid it, God forbid it because it was wrong.” The same thing can be said for slavish subservience to the feminine imperative in close relationships

Will
Guest
Will

But doesn’t having beta, beta, alpha actions in relationship game help.

You’re referring to swallowing the pill. Not totally eliminating the strategically planned beta actions, right?

Plagio
Guest
Plagio

Stingray, you just said women are indifferent to average(men who aren’t obese, have a decent face) men but What i notice is how women expect average men to be Mr. Psychologist, bodyguard, walking atm machine etc even if she’s some random average-looking chick you’re crossing on the street. Women depend on men for everything and with the epidemy of most women getting pumped and dumped by sean bean hunks, its impossible for men to leave the house without gavinha several females per day glancing at the guy and waiting for the guy to give them attention and whatever. Why should… Read more »

Plagio
Guest
Plagio

For the balding Old guy, no. I get it, you a super alpha male in the land of oz, but What you say doesn’t happen. Balding Old guys don’t get Laid with hot, young women. Unless you are living in the poorest areas of china, Stuff like that doesn’t happen. I see old college teachers trying to flirt with hot 20 somethings and i have to hold it deep or I’ll laugh hard. Women aged 18-25. Only respond to looks, and Women aged 25-35 are filled up cum-dumpsters looking for a free ride. Yet i would love to see you… Read more »

Plagio
Guest
Plagio

Yo rollo, the good thing that game teaches men is that women are hypergamous and extremely promiscuous(with hot men). The belief that game can make average men attractive to hot women when average men with game can’t even get it with average women, is silly. Game is not part of fight club. Everyone is familiar with game. Most men try it, believe me, I’ve seen countless men try it with average looking women and they all failed. It is the frat boy who bangs women inside some seedy bathroom, not Games. You are talking about Susan walsh? Lol she’s similar… Read more »

Kiljoy
Guest
Kiljoy

“5) Never display fear of future or uncertainty. She prefers your BS even if she knows it’s BS. She wants to believe you are or could be the king of the world.”

Yes, I think there’s a lot of truth in that… I’ve always been rubbish at BS. Of course I could just be talking BS, still rubbish though

Glenn
Guest
Glenn

@ Plagio – Let me ask you this. When you are furiously masturbating 3-4 times a day to web porn, tell us, are you looking at average looking women? Let’s say you are a 4 – are you jerking off to female 4s? No? You hypergamous bitch! Why can’t you just punch your weight and be happy with women just as fucking ugly as you apparently are? You could get a lazy hideous female slob just like yourself and zip yourselves into a nice fleece double body bag with a bag of cheetos and the remote and be together in… Read more »

Tam the Bam
Guest
Tam the Bam

In a secure, leisured situation, women may well imagine they have the latitude to select for physique/handsomeness (and it’s only mens’ ‘lack of maturity’ foiling their desire). IRL it’s any port in a storm for them, and well they know it. Never voluntarily single (AWALT). One oddity that demonstrated this to me was observing the avoidant, haughty attitude of even very average-looking girls (borderline battletoad that I couldn’t even ) in “safe ” places (bars, shops, in class; all of that), wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. However, standing at crosswalks (I’m a rotten anarchist, I always… Read more »

Tam the Bam
Guest
Tam the Bam

RE: trollspotting.
Easy-peasy lemon squeezy. They latch onto a single commenter or an irrelevant side-topic, and just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and..

Cases in point, superannuated stoner LivingTroll, batty old PlainJane, Hardwiggs

Constitutionally incapable of grasping van der Rohe’s advice that less is more.

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