Live with Christian McQueen

11-16-2014-36

A few Rational Male updates to pass on here. I’m getting very close to publishing my third book – The Rational Male, Positive Masculinity, so needless to say April is already beginning to be a very hectic month for me. In addition to this, I’ve got several other business irons in the fire, both from a Red Pill perspective as well as my personal career, all of which are very exciting for me.

With the Private Man’s passing I had to stop and do a bit of introspection and self-evaluation. Andrew’s death occurred a day after my 49th birthday and I needed to take some time to ask myself what I want to do with the time I have remaining. One of the best things about The Rational Male is that the ideas I explore are both timeless and subject to the social winds of our time. That said, I don’t ever see a time where I’ll be slowing down from connecting the dots I do, but obviously I have only a very limited say in how long I’ll be doing this. I had asked Andrew to write the forward to my third book, but obviously fate had a different idea for the book. Needless to say I’ll be writing it myself now. I had wanted this section to be a sort of testimonial last message memorial to him, instead I’ll be dedicating the book to his memory. Both my books have become institutions in the manosphere and Red Pill awareness on whole. I had hoped this new one would be some kind of enduring obituary for Andrew.

In the five and a half years I’ve written this blog I have never taken a sabbatical longer than a week’s vacation time – hell, I even tee up two drafts just to keep things going on vacations. Making men Red Pill aware, evolving ideas, planning new ventures, and exchanging ideas with other men, has always been a life-mission for me. I never really planned it, it’s just something I feel like I need to do, but when a luminary like Private Man comes to an end, that’s when I have to take stock of things. The Red Pill, the sphere, unplugging men from their indenturement, my books, my presence is, I feel, the dent in the universe I, and other men are making at this time in human history.

So, with that, I’m happy to say I wont be slowing down any time soon. Steve Jobs was said to be even more motivated to making his dent in the cosmos after he’d accepted his own mortality. I’m very healthy now, I have a lot going on in my life and I see no reason not to continue doing what I do. I do however acknowledge my own mortality much more acutely these days. My wife’s brother died suddenly in his sleep back in 2011 at the age of just 39. No indication, no hypertension, no nothing. For all impressions the guys was very healthy, no alcohol, no smoking, etc., but one night he simply died (heart failure is what the coroner said). It’s incidents like this that keep me going.

In the coming year I have a lot planned for The Rational Male and Rollo Tomassi. I’ll be making a public appearance again; the first one in 2 years by the time I do. I’m more comfortable with being at least semi-public now, and while that wont change anything substantially for what I do, it does mean I’ll be less concerned showing my face. The third book will drop this month, or early in May, depending on when I finish the forward now. And Sam Botta assures me the audio for Preventive Medicine will be coming out in the next 2 months.

There is one big announcement I’ll be making tomorrow on my 4th podcast with Christian McQueen. I’ve had this in the works since October of 2016 and I’m happy to say it’s finally going to happen this year. As always, please use the comment thread here to ask me any questions you might like me to answer on the show tomorrow. We’ll be catching up and going at it like we always do. We’ll be recording around 12 noon PST.

Lastly, I’ll also be talking to Richard Cooper live on his own YouTube channel the following day, Saturday, April 8th. So if there’s anything on his show you’d like me to cover feel free to drop those questions here too.


 

The Christian McQueen interview can be accessed here. Fair warning, it is behind a paywall, but I feel it’s well worth Christian’s very marginal membership fee.

In Episode 78 of A Man In Demand Radio, I welcome the great Rollo Tomassi, an astute author and giant among men.

In this exclusive (3-hour) interview, we discuss everything from the Current State of Man in 2017 to politics (lightly), to hypergamy, and much more, including answering all of your questions that you posted in the Comments section of his blog and on my forum.

This is 3 plus hours of great insight and wisdom from Rollo and is not to be missed…

Show Notes

  • How the Red Pill can help you raise your children (specifically daughters)

  • The use of Game in relationships and marriage

  • The epidemic of the anti-male agenda in the media

  • When Rollo’s 3rd book is coming out and what’s inside

  • Rollo’s advice to ‘himself at 15 years old’

  • All readers questions answered covering a variety of topics

  • And much, much more!

138 comments

  1. Rollo and TRP changed my life after my dad died a couple years ago. Looking forward to the third book.

  2. “How does the 21 convention work to attend?”

    The usual way:

    1. Send them money.
    2. Send them your body.

  3. Rollo, thank you very much for the work and service you are doing to us men !!

    Regarding your Podcast, i would like you to hear your opinion and analysis about the fact that

    several governments (UK, Iceland, Germany etc) have passed laws to fight the “paygap”.

    Thank you for all, Rollo.

  4. I would love to see the concept “Alpha Widow” discussed. I feel many men within this community misinterpret it; it’s my impression that these individuals misconstrue the concept because of a lack of experience with this particular female. I’ve been out with a couple of these women, and this idea is real. Upon reflection, what can be a little disconcerting is if I have cast a shadow upon women I’ve been involved with (causing them to become Alpha Widowed) unbeknownst to me. It’s a fascinating concept.

    Prayers go out to Private Man’s family. Early in my unplugging I read that man’s blog religiously. He did the Lord’s work while he was as alive. I never knew him personally, but I’m indebted to that man.

  5. “I never knew him personally, but I’m indebted to that man.”

    All the testimonial he needs.

  6. @Rollo

    I’d like a topic of discussion between you and Christian to be: What are some best practices in Red Pill and Game discussions to bridge any divides between the Old Married Guys and Young Single Guys? You know, how to be on the same side. Not to have animosity. After all, you and Christian both have respect for each others red pill and game attributes. Your red pill and his style of game are complementary.

    It seemed like the ongoing Great Debates here in 2016 were a rabid frame battle. It seem to lack that same complementary benefits based on a small amount of pissed-off-ness.

    Can we all just get along without compromising our purpose and mission?

  7. @Sam

    “I feel many men within this community misinterpret it; it’s my impression that these individuals misconstrue the concept because of a lack of experience with this particular female.”

    What mis-interpretations do you think men in this community make.

    “I’ve been out with a couple of these women, and this idea is real.”

    It’s deductively real. How did being out with a couple of these women make you feel and act and what impact did that have on the relationship.

    “Upon reflection, what can be a little disconcerting is if I have cast a shadow upon women I’ve been involved with (causing them to become Alpha Widowed) unbeknownst to me.”

    Isn’t that your job and calling as a masculine dynamic, passionate and authentic red pill male? To be Alpha? Why would that be disconcerting? You want to hold yourself back (have a restrictor plate on your game)?

    The reason Alpha Widows are Alpha Widows is because they had supreme desire for the Alpha.

    Are you saying that you or other men have had denial, anger, bargaining or depression in regards to hooking up with an Alpha Widow?

  8. ” Can we all just get along without compromising our purpose and mission?”

    No.

    LOL.

    I wasn’t actually interested in getting along. (I’ve learned not to relinquish MPoO and Frame needlessly). I was interested in what Rollo thought about the tribal animosities in advancing his version of The Red Pill Brand that I like subscribing to.

  9. I have a question: I’ve had some recent issues with “Friends”…guys who I would otherwise consider had my back are acting more like girls: flakey, unhelpful, duplicitous, self-centered.

    From a Red Pill perspective, what is the role of male friendships? Robert Greene in his book 48 Laws of Power says “Don’t put too much trust in friends”. Any insights? As I become more Red Pill, I find myself surrounded by weak, duplicitous, back-stabbing betas…. This ranges from business to personal situations. When I think “Who are my closest friends?” I find myself struggling to come up with an answer.

  10. @rugby11

    Early bird tickets will go on sale for the first time at the end of this month, along with a reveal of the speakers list, and related details.

    Event dates are Sept 28th – October 1st. Location is Orlando Florida.

    This is our 10 year anniversary event, dedicated to The Private Man (with his awareness and blessing).

    Also, what KFG said 😀

    – ADJ

  11. @ walawala

    It’s been my experience in life, that real, true friends are hard as hell to come by. If you happen to have shady, untrustworthy ” friends “, catalog them as such in your mind, and never trust them.

    this way you will not expect too much from them. Either accept them as they are, or dump them. The choice is yours.

    But don’t trust them.

    The search for real, trustworthy friends is a journey of great length. When you happen upon frauds, keep it moving without mental investment on your part.

  12. It is journey. We all learn (I think). The more Red Pill you become, the more you are able to see people for who they are. Also the more selfish you become (it comes with the definition of player). Birds of a feather; other players recognize you as one of them and open up subconsciously. So you get new “friends”; but like you they are players (and hence users). If you slip up you get used too. You are only as useful to a user as far as you have something to give, and a user is only as useful to you they have something to give you. Either way you are in the game, either as a player, or a piece to be played. If you are not able to recognize which is which, heheeee..

  13. @Walawala

    “I’ve had some recent issues with “Friends”……guys who I would otherwise consider had my back are acting more like girls: flakey, unhelpful, duplicitous, self-centered.”

    Why is that that they act like that?. What is their motivation. And what are you going to do about that? Certainly not keep them as friends, right.

    Acquiring friends is a process that does not depend on the outcome.

    It’s your job to consider and discriminate them. It’s not their job to be honest or to vet themselves for you. Didn’t you ever consider that they are self serving and duplicitous. (i.e., people are lazy, short-sighted or self-serving.)

    “From a Red Pill perspective, what is the role of male friendships?

    Guys that are aligned with the same interests and tasks. This requires clarification. Guys that want to bang your girl are not aligned with YOUR same interest and tasks. They are aligned with THEIR interest and tasks.

    Reference: Rollo’s essay on TRIBES. Guys on Task. Same Mission.

    The role of male friendships is to form a tribe of like minded individuals. With kinship altruism. To have one’s back. Within that tribe, one must insist on honor among men. It is also helpful to discard pussies that don’t have strength, courage and mastery of red pill ideals.

    Finding red pill leaning men is going to be nearly impossible, but if you insist on it being a standard by which you gauge men worthy of your tribe, then you have to stand by your standards.

    That being said, it is a frequently observed thing that fight club red pill friendships may fleeting, cause guess what? They tend to be self enlightened and pursue their goals. Without your friendship being their primary goal. So you have to be fun and add value to them. Passion, dynamism and authenticity help you to attract them into your solid frame. Their welcome to join you, but you can’t insist they stay at your party. I tend to enjoy these guys agency and not be selfish about them pursuing their own thing. I’ve had the privilege of maintaining red pill friendships and I’ve had the disappointment of guys needing their space to process their moving in different dimensions in their life.

    Bottom line? When your goals align with an alliance of benefit to each other, you pounce. When guys are acting against you? Fuck them.

  14. Blax Sjf

    It’s a struggle because I find so many betas and white knights always undermining.

    Of course dropping them is the result. But I’m curious whether I’m the only one who finds this.

  15. Excellence lies in seeing people for what they are, leading them as they are, and not being confused.

  16. Hey Rollo glad to hear you’ll be continuing your great work here. Looking forward to the next book! The first one was truly my gateway to red pill awareness and I’m forever grateful. Condolences to the Private Man-he sounded like a solid dude and we’re fortunate he shared his wisdom with us over the years.

  17. @walawala

    Me too. It’s lonely out there.

    They’re is only a very small handful that I’m even interested in passing the time of day with.

    Most are totally brainwashed / feminised creeps.

  18. @Rollo

    It may be a year or two before you can show your face but I think the winds are changing in a lot of respects.

    Women despise the current breed of ‘men’ and crave masculinity but are literally starved of it. Of course they don’t even know it completely themselves until confronted with the reality.

    You probably just need a bit more critical mass of support than you have now and it will be safe to reveal yourself.

  19. @Rollo

    A year or so back quite accidentally I found myself walking to our local shops with my BP neighbour, his wife and their toddler child.

    The path took us across a small car park.

    From nowhere a car came towards the toddler the driver totally oblivious.

    The BP neighbour husband froze, I lunged past the car and dragged the toddler away and the wife screamed.

    The wife absolutely tore a lump off my BP neighbour verbally dressing him down for ‘doing nothing’. Shortly after she was all eyes, thanks, and preening towards me.

    They don’t necessarily know they despise what they have until it’s brought home to them and sometimes this takes time.

    The more this comes home to more women, the more acceptable you will become.

    We’re both 49 by the way.

  20. Rollo, just need to say that sincerely appreciate your time and effort keeping this blog up and running with such regularity. Your thoughts and your words have shook me to the core. I’m sure they’ve done the same to many others. Thank you.

  21. @Palmasailor I hadn’t realized the wider situation. Feminized men who are so thirsty for pussy they throw you under a bus, undermine you or otherwise think they can have a go at you.

  22. The search for real, trustworthy friends is a journey of great length.

    This is the biblical “friend who sticks closer than a brother”, and we can expect to find very few such friends during a lifetime. This man is in a class by himself and not to be confused with friends generally. I need a different word for him but don’t know what it is.

    TRM makes observable the sort of facts of life that have been going on for centuries but that many of us didn’t see, or at least didn’t understand. A side effect is seeing all the more clearly how many of our own family, friends, and acquaintances are buried in BP, WK, FI conditioning.

    As my own understanding increases I’ve run some of the ideas by these people. As mentioned by several commenters this will change relationships. Some men I would have considered friends have become acquaintances, because they were clearly uncomfortable if not hostile to interpersonal realities as revealed by TRM. A lesser number of men I would have said were casual acquaintances have shown some interest and maybe a little understanding of those same realities. We are now slowly becoming more like friends. So I think it can work both ways.

    Demotion from friend to acquaintance, or off the scope completely can happen suddenly. Promotion to friend is a process and may be as Blax says, “a journey of great length”.

  23. @walawala

    It’s a sickness.

    They’re brainwashed- like sheep

    Individual thought and risk is punished ridiculed and shamed.

    If you’ve ever boarded a plane in Europe in the open air both the front and back doors have stairways attached.

    Generally the sheep all follow and load from the front with a huge queue.

    My son and I have a game where we run to the back doors overtaking the queue and only then do some of the others peel off and follow.

    By then we’ve made it to our seats ahead of 90% of the rest..

  24. So yes.. they all think they can have a go at you..

    Until that is, you bite, and like me, cut them a new asshole…

    Then they wonder what has hit them…

    They fold..

  25. @Blaximus

    @ walawala

    It’s been my experience in life, that real, true friends are hard as hell to come by. If you happen to have shady, untrustworthy ” friends “, catalog them as such in your mind, and never trust them.

    this way you will not expect too much from them. Either accept them as they are, or dump them. The choice is yours.

    But don’t trust them.

    The search for real, trustworthy friends is a journey of great length. When you happen upon frauds, keep it moving without mental investment on your part.

    +1… my dad always told me that if you are able to find ONE true friend in your lifetime, that you are doing great… he had one… and it really was a different relationship than anything else i’ve seen… mostly like close brothers from the same family… but still sort of more than that/different too (probably the lack of childhood sibling baggage…lol)… it was pretty cool…

    mostly my operating premise is that most people suck…lol… so i have NO expectations above that (although i always have at least a little ‘hopeful optimism’…lol)… that way i’m mostly pleasantly surprised when people turn out to be ‘more’…

    good luck!

  26. @ HABD

    Your Dad was totally on point and it is great advice.

    I’m of the same mind, being that most people do indeed have a high degree of suckage. This is why I mostly bristle at Andy’s equalist style pronouncements. My oldest and dearest friends were made 40-50 years ago, and have stood the test of time/baptism by fire. Lol.

    I’ve made a few new friends over the past decade or so, married men 10-15 years my junior. The 20-30 year olds in my life I do not consider true friends. They’re ” okay “, but none are guys you’d trust with your life.

    It’s only gonna get worse as men become ever more isolated by social media and the FI. The bonding mechanisms are being rapidly dismantled.

  27. “I’m very healthy now, I have a lot going on in my life and I see no reason not to continue doing what I do. I do however acknowledge my own mortality much more acutely these days.”

    In a few years, early 50’s, I’ll be the longest living male in my family. I’m pleased to know you all, learn from you. What a unlikely gift.

    Speaking of gifts…

    Bilaterally terminated my employment relationship (a.k.a. fired) with a decent parachute. There are many keyholders involved. My department chair didn’t see it necessary, there were zero indications of incompetence, but administration threatened to pull credentialing, rendering me idle, also a reportable action. They refused to disclose their leverage. So be it.

    None of my transgressions were described. Rather tidy. I didn’t DEER, or ask. They had prepared for a meltdown. Didn’t take the bait.

    It’s hard to imagine how I’d take this BP. Not well I’d assume, grasping ever harder for stasis, only it squirting faster out my fingers.

    Should I thank y’all for this? A little? My gut says yes, so…thanks for getting me out there again.

    The conversation with my department chair, walking out of the building, he holding my possessions box, was RP in a way. I described my relief how I’m free to pursue independent work, something I’d long envisioned for myself, how the job was a security/opportunity imbalance. My career was becoming an end, not a means. I thanked him for the many years together, was excited to tell my wife, kids the news.

    Him, flat faced: “EhIntellect, I don’t see my kids much and It’s my daughter’s birthday today. I asked her yesterday what she wanted. She told me she wanted to go to someone else’s house.” Shaking his head he walked away. He hugged me even.

    I’m relieved. There’s locums work a-plenty and agencies are alacritous. Family will visit the out of state venue. My kids are excited as I’d take my older boys, and they’d work nearby diner resort/summer jobs, crash in my locums condo. Sounds like fun, an irreplaceable experience I’d never of realized without this little journey.

    OP: “I never really planned it, it’s just something I feel like I need to do…that’s when I have to take stock of things…”

    Have a great weekend y’all.

  28. @Sam

    re: alpha widows

    I think this concept is a bit overplayed. The thing is, I’m unfamiliar with the concept of having a woman in my arms and not basically owning her mind, body and soul during intimacy. I have had girlfriends in the distant past who were hung up on their previous boyfriends. One very extreme case in particular, what a basket case. But when they are with you, it’s up to you to project the notion that you are the best they have had or ever will have. I’m well aware that is often not the case, especially now in this middle-age-post-divorce wasteland. But what I find is that when I give zero fucks about it, it really isn’t an issue. The RP has given me, more than anything, the insight to read a girl. Her feelings are far less mysterious now, and any disappointment I have in her feelings or lack thereof that in the past would have bothered me a lot, is greatly diminished through an RP lens. This one in particular. I’m in a very good place now. I don’t have a lot of rigid rules for relationships, but before this latest one started up, I had made it a point, after the last one ended, to go slightly MGTOW.. in the sense that I wasn’t actively searching, focusing on my own life, unconcerned about when the next woman would show up. As always, one shows up (after about a 4 month sabbatical in this case). And here’s my only hard rule for starting up with a woman again, and she met the qualification.. and that is..

    she must chase me.

    She must show more interest than me. She must pursue, initiate sex or agree to or even suggest activities that logistically lead to sex, she must try to win me over, she should be sending me random texts to say hello.. I have found that this is the sweet spot. We talk about flipping the script.. well it’s important to realize that she will flip the script on you too. When you have a girl like this one, who is not shy about telling you she has feelings/attraction for you, who builds you up, makes you feel like a king.. a redpill man always keeps it in the forefront of his mind that this could change at any moment. Could change because you fail a shit test, or show neediness, or fuck something else up, we all know these things.. Could change because she’s just fickle, or could be a new kid in town, or could be her inability to get over her Alpha.. We know this, and we handle it by being prepared, at any moment, to walk away without ever losing the shit eating grin on our faces. The moment she stops treating me like a king.. the moment I sense she’s not giving herself and her heart 100% to me.. I will drift. I will retreat. I will leave. In the past, I would hang on.. try to fix it.. hold out hope, etc.. NO MORE. I only want the sweet spot. She’s in for a rude awakening if she tones it down. Just try me girl, watch what happens.

    She senses this confidence, and it keeps her coming. And if she does start slipping, my immediate departure or aloofness has a very good chance of bringing her back around right away, putting her back in the mode she must be in if she wants my company. And if it doesn’t?? If she let’s me go… C’est la vie.. I’m good. This is composure. This is internal frame. What I refuse to do is negotiate for her desire.

    I’m getting better at this stuff with each woman. It feels amazing, like conquest (of self).

    This relates to the Alpha Widow. It’s the same principle.. You must simply assume she is completely absorbed by her feelings for you and you alone, and she must verify it. She does this by submitting to you fully in an intimate setting, by displaying happiness consistently, by minimal or zero shit tests in a platonic setting, and by showing you affection, instead of contempt or challenge. If you have the complete package like that, there is no need to be concerned about her past relationships.

    In other words, I will never be depressed or sad about a woman who has feelings rooted in an old relationship, because I recognize them clearly (along with any other red flags she may have), and will choose to disassociate if they are interfering in our relationship. In fact, I expect something to pop up eventually that will disappoint me in this way, and I stand ready to pick up right where I left off as a single confident man with a purpose, the minute she’s not giving me what I want, which is the whole package.

    I win. I take her best while she offers it. And when she begins to diminish it, I’m out. Only her best.

    As far as being concerned that you have widowed some chicks, and feeling bad about it. First of all you shouldn’t because there’s just no cure for that. Of course we’re all going to give it to our girl good, best we can, and if she ends up our widow, well so be it. But I think it’s a little delusional to think this way, especially if you’ve had enough experience to witness first hand just how quickly war brides (ahem, I mean women) move on, even when the relationship had great sexual energy/chemistry.

    Even if she gave her best to the Alpha, it doesn’t prevent her from giving her best to you. You know this when you realize she couldn’t possibly give you more than she’s giving you. Follow my rule above and you will know this. If you allow a relationship to continue with a chick who is not pursuing you, then you are settling.

  29. As TRM goes more public, and its sensei goes more public, I foresee an interesting experiment in branding and media presence, with our sensei as both self-appointed guinea pig and totem.

    To wit: (1) maintain and promote his RP writings as The Great and Powerful Rollo, while (2) maintaining a separate professional presence/ego/personality as the ad-man and liquor brander, using his real Meat-World name of Aaron WashingUpLiquid or whatever it may be.

    And perhaps that is the best solution, which the experiment can validate: maintain two separate professional personalities. The first is the evo-psych behavioral science commentator known as Rollo, who appears only as Rollo and does not speak of liquor distribution or graphic design. Then, for professional events, he appears only as his true self Aaron WashingUpLiquid and does not speak of the Red Pill or TRM.

    Maybe the way to tell one from the other is to wear a different hat.

    The beauty of this, of course, is using the separate frames to immunize one from the other. Trolls can protest, no-platform and boycott Rollo, but professionally speaking he has nothing to do with Aaron WashingUpLiquid, who only promotes new blends and brands and does commercial artist work. Anyone who protests or bitches about tying Rollo-self’s heresies of non-intersectionality to Aaron WashingUpLiquid will just get a blank stare from the industrial customer base. Outside of that industry no one will ever know or care who he is, enough to cramp his style. I mean, who is the most public spirits spokesman today? The Most Interesting Man In The World?

    This would only change if he was going to do a Frank Perdue and become his own industry spokes-model, thereby putting the same face on both personas.

    Seems to me this is the best approach, but I’m not the one who’ll be doing it, so it’s easy for me to prognosticate.

    It would not be fakery or an “act” as such. Many other professionals have maintained separate “egos” in decades past, i.e., the mystery writer “Ellery Queen” who was actually a collection of authors who did other work under their own names, totally separate spheres.

  30. Rollo, why don’t men find out a little information about a girl he has sex with? Do they not want to know? Or don’t care ? Why seem surprised when you find out later ..

  31. Cheryl.. same reason any human avoids talking themselves out of anything. If you look hard enough and/or are pessimistic enough.. you’re going to find a reason not to do something. Ignorance is bliss. What your don’t know won’t hurt you, etc.. is the reason.

    Why are they surprised? Because they actually believed the things she said. It’s ok to get caught up in the moment and enjoy the lies (ahem, things) she says.. But most guys fail to take it with a grain of salt and pay attention to her actions. Most guys fail to protect themselves properly.

    The enlightened man still doesn’t want to know, but is at least prepared to find out.

    —————————————————————
    Morpheus: You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he expects to wake up. Ironically, that’s not far from the truth.
    —————————————————————
    Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
    Morpheus: No, Neo. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to.
    —————————————————————
    Morpheus: There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.

  32. Ehintellect, For a more indepth explanation, I will. I meant this just in a simple..”holy shit I didn’t know she was married/engaged or whatever” didn’t even know her name,but I’ll sleep with her.

  33. Tuff, I guess you’re right on that. Easier or more exciting not to know or ignore . So it’s two that play the game then right? There should be no shock value when you chose not to know.

  34. Cheryl are you really that delusional? Women are uniquely able to be this picky. Men are not, excepting the sexual-alpha, of course. First of all, many of us, myself included, most definitely screen for her involvement with another man, whether married, engaged or just a bf. I won’t play. It’s not for me, and I resent men who do. I could catch a ton of shit for that here, but I don’t care. It’s wrong, and it’s no small contributor to the diminishing quality of women in our society. These men are as much a part of the problem as male feminists and white knights. We talk about men having each other’s backs, and this is part of it that most men don’t because they’re chumps with no personal convictions. Relationships should be respected.

    We know women have a plethora of options nowadays, and we also know that even the brightest of them are not immune to the charms of a man with game. They’re childlike in this way, and if your woman is opening herself up to advances by other quality men, it’s only a matter of time, because you can expect the men to not honor the ring she has on her finger, and because she is a child who can easily be emotionally seduced.

    So, ignoring the ring is a little different then simply not screening for other possible issues that might keep you from getting involved. I screen for the ring, but the rest of it why should I care. I’ll allow her into my life and take the pleasure and the honeymoon phase, and when I find out she’s not so great, I’ll leave. If I over screen, I’ll be alone a lot.

  35. Didn’t mean to call you a name, I was just emphasizing my point btw…

    But yes, you are absolutely correct, both parties play that game.. and there’s nothing wrong with it. Even more true in the middle-age market, because everyone has baggage, and show-stoppers. But the show must go on..

  36. Tuff, I’m not delusional. It’s an honest question (which you answered) I’m fully aware of women’s options and the abundance of them. I think you would be surprised at the amt of men who don’t screen and are just there for the f*
    value but then complain later about her,which is as bad as a woman complaining if a man doesn’t call her the next day.

  37. There should be no shock value when you chose not to know.

    But there ends up being shock, because initially you’re in the dark, then you’re swept up by her lies, or sugar-coated truths. Then, without any real foundation, you begin to believe she’s better than she really is, just based on your ‘connection’ with her. So you have real feelings without, as you pointed out, and truth about her. Then the truth comes out and you’re shocked and hurt.

    The RP is a good preventative for this, because you don’t start out in the dark. You start out with the presumption of guilt, not innocence. But you allow yourself the pleasure, and even love, anyway. Yet you are prepared for the eventual fall or disappointment.

  38. on the verge of full on MGTOW because of this right here:

    “These men are as much a part of the problem as male feminists and white knights. We talk about men having each other’s backs, and this is part of it that most men don’t because they’re chumps with no personal convictions. Relationships should be respected.”

    “you’re swept up by her lies, or sugar-coated truths. Then, without any real foundation, you begin to believe she’s better than she really is, just based on your ‘connection’ with her. So you have real feelings without, as you pointed out, and truth about her. Then the truth comes out and you’re shocked and hurt”

    hard to keep smiling. running outof energy. deep depression this week, been building up for awhile.
    blackout drunk last friday pushed me over the edge. almost 3 mo sober down the tube lol… living in a van down by the river sounds great right now. fuck it 😂

  39. @Tuff
    ^^ Words to live by.

    @Plat
    Feel ya bro. me too. Except for the drunk part. It’s just so hard to view any woman these days as having a shred of integrity.

  40. “There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.”

    @Platinum

    Hang in there dude. You can’t reach the promised land without walking the path.

    There’s a better one around the corner. When you meet her, check your internal frame. Then let her have it. Don’t refrain. Don’t worry. Fall in. But treat each day like tomorrow she’ll be gone. It will help you keep an eye on the rest of your world.

    See when she’s gone, most of us are left in a shattered world, and it’s because we neglected it while she was around.

    If you live by the river now, then when she shows up you’ll wish you had been more active with your own purpose, and when she leaves, you’ll have only the river tent to return to.

    Tend to your world, man. Find happiness there and work to keep it. Then you’ll be ready.

  41. @Disgruntled Earthling:

    It’s not about integrity. It’s about . . . (hint: it begins with a “b”).

  42. @Platinum

    It gets better.. welcome to the zone..

    If it’s any consolation it took me 5 years to swallow the pill.

    Good luck

  43. @Disgruntled Earthling:

    Babies.

    Babies . . . babies . . . babies . . . all the way down, and all the way up. It’s all about babies. Nothing less, nothing more.

    You speak of integrity, but you mean the integrity of the hunting pack, of the raiding party. The ethical integrity of men on a mission together. But that isn’t the only sort of integrity.

    Women are all about integrity, but in a different sense of the word:

    Babies are the integrity of life.

  44. thanks guys.

    I’m not giving up. it’s just every corner turned SEEMS to uncover a new low. more crap to fix in my head. shits deep lol

  45. @Platinum

    It’s like trying to eat an elephant

    The only way to do it is one mouthful at a time

    And it can take years

    When you get through it (and you will) you will be transformed and you will take what you want on your terms.

    Difficult to believe I know but its true.

    The goal is worth the journey… not that you have any choice now you’ve found us..

  46. TuffLuv: great stuff.

    “The ethical integrity of men on a mission together.”

    That’s what TRM is about. Sex? Yeah, Frame? Yeah. Freewill? Yeah. Praexology? Yeah. RP, Alpha as mentality? Yeah.

    The only means to maintaining Alpha, maintaining RP, MRP is tribe mentality. Sigma is unnecessarily lonely. There’s no present day masculine hivemind sisterhood equilivalent. Western world life brooks no public FI dissent. Thus here we are, digitally.

    Upthread woman defaults to her solipsism. “What I see, think is reality…all my gf’s agree. Thus it’s truth.”

    TuffLuv did a great job explaining RP, he can’t understand it for her though.

  47. “As TRM goes more public, and its sensei goes more public”

    Thinking about printing simply “Red Pill” on a t-shirt. Hm.

  48. Addendum:

    I will note, however, that TRM has a particular focus and that within that focus the distinction between Alpha and Sigma is meaningless.

  49. @Eh

    “The only means to maintaining Alpha, maintaining RP, MRP is tribe mentality. Sigma is unnecessarily lonely. There’s no present day masculine hivemind sisterhood equilivalent. Western world life brooks no public FI dissent. Thus here we are, digitally.”

    Walawala spoke upstream about guy friends. You speak of tribes.

    Back 5-6 years ago I took initiative to link up with guys from a statewide sportsman’s forum. (e.g. you could actually drive to their house two miles or 60 miles away.) It was a by-product of passion and a pursuit. And it served as my redemption in masculinity to develop a tribe. I also have had the best time ever with some guys from TRM by hooking up with them in real life. It’s a thing.

    Red pill guys are out there, and I sense guys don’t know that it should be an imperative to pursue them as possible friends. Cause sometimes red pill is seemingly like Walter White in Breaking Bad (not out in the open like a crystal blue persuader).

    I brought this up a year or so ago, the there should be more desire (and methods) to hook up with red pill guys in real life off of blogs.

    I’m of the opinion that guys should use any means necessary to actually have a tribe of like-minded men. I didn’t really start having agency in red pill and game until I acquired a tribe of men to hang with.

    Bottom line. Tribal trusted men are an imperative that complements your evo-psych firmware.

  50. Rollo
    “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. “— V IKTOR F RANKL , Man’s Search for Meaning

  51. @SJF/Palmasailor/HABD This idea of backstabbing “friends” has been on my mind for a few months.

    I just had a situation where a business partner I run an event with suddenly decided to double-book his venue without asking me….just told me.

    I call him back, we get into it. He’s like a girl—gaslighting me….my events don’t bring in enough money—not true…I show up too early to set up—not true.

    Finally we agree to end the other one at the agreed upon time. He then posts an invite that is the original plan. I call him back ask what up….says “Oh, I told them to end a half hour earlier”…I tell my act to start 15 minutes later…

    Then I immediately started looking for a new partner.

    It’s like there is no “safe haven” anywhere. White knights, betas, thirsty fucks, backstabbers. It’s maddening and discouraging.

    I’m now trying to figure it all out. Just when I think I’m across Game and Red Pill with women….I now see I’ve got another challenge—guy “friends”….undermining me.

  52. @kfg

    I have seen this a few times now and as a serious question what makes it all about babies?

    Historically and hopefully I can see this being the case, but why is this still in play?

    Western women seem more than happy to abort babies in the millions when modern methods of contraception fail to prevent pregnancy. Overall, there seems to be little interest in producing babies.

    What is it that makes this still a factor?

  53. “It’s like there is no “safe haven” anywhere. White knights, betas, thirsty fucks, backstabbers.”

    Welcome to the monkey house.

    “….I now see I’ve got another challenge—”

    The race doesn’t get easier, it gets faster.

  54. I’m more comfortable with being at least semi-public now, and while that wont change anything substantially for what I do, it does mean I’ll be less concerned showing my face.

    Stay cool Rollo. There are millions of them out there waiting and hoping for the opportunity to make your life a living hell if they can find a way to do it. I admit I know nearly nothing about it, but remember Roosh V when he tried to normalize men conversing about the FI in the real world. People dropped everything they were doing to chase him down and make his life difficult.

    From the department of caution and redundancy department.

  55. ” . . . what makes it all about babies?”

    Natural law. The fact that it can’t be about anything else. You are a part of a process – a long, moving line of babies. You just happen to be an instantiation of that line. You personally don’t matter, you’re just a baby’s way of making more babies. If you don’t make babies, then the entire line of “your” babies ceases to matter. It’s been a nice ride up until now, but now it’s done.

    ” . . . why is this still in play?”

    We are stardust. We are not a special creation. We are animals. The warm blooded fish that walks on the land and breaths gas. We play by the rules. Even when we think we have written “new” rules, they only work if they are allowed by the rules. If they aren’t allowed by the rules, shit gets broke, by the rules, until the rules are being followed.

    “Western women seem more than happy to abort babies in the millions when modern methods of contraception fail to prevent pregnancy. Overall, there seems to be little interest in producing babies.”

    And yet, the world population has tripled since I was a baby. Sometimes it seems like mice have babies so they can be sure to have a knosh between breakfast and lunch, yet there is no noticeable shortage of mice. The rules are not as straight forward as “make as many babies as you can.” Environment and ecological niche play a role. Sometimes a population needs more babies to survive, sometimes it needs fewer babies to survive. Sometimes a population fails. Happens all the time. A population that fails ceases to matter.

    But it’s still all about babies.

    I keep pointing it out because people get all wrapped up in other things and forget it. Some men end up here because they can’t get laid and are trying to figure out why. I ask, “Why do you want to get laid in the first place? And the correct answer is . . . Now, let’s not always see the same hands.

    Yes, that’s right – babies. Wanting to get laid is a drive to ensure babies.

    Some men end up here because they just can’t figure out the “woman thing.” Well, what are women? Why do they exist? Why do men exist? Why do men and women have trouble figuring each other out?

    Babies.

    Men behave as they must to ensure babies. Women behave as they must to ensure babies. Men and women have a different relation to babies. Hence, what they must do is different. Men must have honor and integrity if the babies are going to be fed and protected. Hypergamy must not care if babies are going to be birthed. It’s just the way things work, because they wouldn’t work if they didn’t work that way.

    You seem to be getting wrapped up in current events/culture/politics. Well, why do these things exist?

    Babies.All.The.Way.Down. None of this would be here if the babies hadn’t been here.

    Go out on a nice summer night and find a meadow. Lie down in the grass, look up at the stars, close your eyes, take a deep breath, relax, and . . . listen.

    What do you hear?

    Sex and violence. Fucking and killing. The process of making a long line of babies.

    Plus a bit of background hum from cosmic energies that could turn the whole world into plasma in the blink of an eye, so we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.

    Perhaps this is the first book a man who wants to take the Red Pill should read:

    https://www.amazon.com/Zoology-Made-Simple-Dorothy-Soule/dp/0385088701

  56. @kfg

    Thanks for that explanation.

    Sex and violence. Fucking and killing.

    No question those are the things I thought about most as a teenager. Then as one gets older (if one lives long enough) and gradually loses the urge for both of these (it happens, see my father-in-law), one becomes more philosophical as a substitute for active participation?

  57. “No question those are the things I thought about most as a teenager.”

    Because that’s what male teenagers are for. They are fashioned to be that way.

    “Then as one gets older . . . one becomes more philosophical . . .”

    Where did the mind capable of becoming more philosophical come from?

    Hundreds of millions of years of selection. Making, feeding and protecting babies, for the purpose of better making, feeding and protecting babies. All of it, art, technology, politics, warfare, the whole ball of wax, ultimately derives from the basic biological drive.

    This is just a nest:

    This is just a virility display:

    As the race gets faster, and faster, and faster.

  58. @walawala

    I think that as men we’re fundamentally alone.

    I didn’t really get this until I went through a very rough time in business and all doors closed in my face.

    I’ve been both broke and worth millions more than once. The same people who snivel and profess their eternal loyalty/friendship when you’re worth millions laugh at you when you’re broke.

    In the same way when you divorce a load of your old married male ‘friends’ can’t even look at you in the school playground because their wives won’t let them. It’s only with the benefit of the RP lens that you see how sad, cuckolded/brow beaten and sexless they are.

    Rollo covers it in burden of performance.

    Business ‘partners’ are a mistake and should be avoided at all costs. By all means have investors on given a return on what they put in weighed against the risk they are taking, and also have staff.

    But you’re the F…ing daddy and they do it your way or sack them.

    Ultimately you take the risks so the reward is yours too.

    Felix Dennis covers it in ‘how to get rich’.

  59. I’ve had my babies thanks. Getting snipped in July. At 58 I just want to fuck bitches before my plumbing disintegrates. After learning RP I can’t say I like them much anymore.

    I guess the anger is coming back

  60. From SJF:

    “Red pill guys are out there, and I sense guys don’t know that it should be an imperative to pursue them as possible friends. Cause sometimes red pill is seemingly like Walter White in Breaking Bad (not out in the open like a crystal blue persuader).

    I brought this up a year or so ago, the there should be more desire (and methods) to hook up with red pill guys in real life off of blogs.

    I’m of the opinion that guys should use any means necessary to actually have a tribe of like-minded men. I didn’t really start having agency in red pill and game until I acquired a tribe of men to hang with.

    Bottom line. Tribal trusted men are an imperative that complements your evo-psych firmware.”

    ——-
    I’ll second that.

    SJF isn’t a keyboard jockey outside of TRM. I’ve hung out a handful of times wandering his wooded farmland where he cultivates to attract deer, riding 4-wheelers through mucky swampland, shooting pistols and grilling steaks. Damn good times with heavy doses of red pill conversation.

    I was invited to a gathering a few weekends ago where guys trapped through the woods looking for deer shed and later drinking beer and enjoying fellowship around a fire. The tribal atmosphere and comraderie is good for the soul. The entire day fit perfectly with what is discussed often on TRM about finding like minded men to enjoy rime with. Nothing like bumping along a heavily wooded trail on a 4-wheeler and finding the trail blocked by down trees. Did the downed trees stop us? Hell no. SJF grabbed his chainsaw he had strapped on the 4-wheeler and sliced up the deadwood and I tossed the logs aside.

    I’m telling ya, get outside with some buddies. Get fresh air and don’t let anything stop you from the pursuit of what makes you happy.

  61. Never mind the typos. Editing on an iPhone with phat thumbs is something I need to master.

  62. Kfg’s “babies” should be the forward to Mystery Method… The why behind the why behind the how.

  63. Much respect and appreciation for your excellent work over the years Mr T. I’ve certainly learned a lot and have shared TRM with a few friends, all of whom have been appreciative.

    Women are such flakes these days they just can’t be taken seriously & really aren’t worth getting involved seriously with, apart from just to play with as you would a child. My current lover has just flaked out on her 47th birthday party ’cause for some reason. This is after I had organised for one of my band’s to play there, dropped my pa off, started promoting it etc. But it was just too hard for her to get “organised”, that is, make a Facebook event. 10 minutes of effort! Two weeks out i called her out with a text and told her that if she can’t even be bothered promoting her own party, then i certainly couldn’t be bothered organising a band rehearsal (as I’d already done, but happy to cancel on account of her flakiness), setting up the pa & basically running the entertainment for the night (which i like to do, but fuck her). Two day and she still hasn’t responded to my last message and apologised, so i will maintain frame and ignore her skanky arse. She has always seemed to adore me and always up for anything dirty in bed, but i’m not going to put up with such disrespect for sex, no matter how convenient and good. This is the only way to respond to flakiness, but i must admit i am even more pissed off that she hasn’t apologised. But as much as i want to tear her a new arsehole over this, i’m going to maintain frame, ignore the bitch, & get on with my life. TRM has taught me this, me, a long time player with many notches. But you can teach an old dog new tricks, and this old dog ain’t gonna be no bitch to no bitches…

  64. Please share this before youtube takes it down. There are powerful forces in our society arrayed against men holding women accountable when they mistreat children.

    But the forces of good are stronger. Light has a cleansing quality. How many more situations like this happen every day that we never hear about?

  65. Reading the opening sentence of the second paragraph, my first thought was, “shit, he’s quitting.” This quotation came to mind:

    “It’s just natural, it’s not a great disaster. People keep talking about it like it’s The End of The Earth. It’s only a rock group that split up, it’s nothing important. You know, you have all the old records there if you want to reminisce.”

    What a relief.

  66. Yes, I agree.
    Any man should try to form friendships with other RP men. In real life.

    Any people from Germany in here?

  67. @If-I-Fell

    I’ll never quit. In fact, that’s how you’ll know I’m dead, I’ll stop posting. I’m just reprioritizing things these days. I’m actually considering retiring early (like 55) from my day-to-day career. I’m in a pretty good spot to do so, but then again, I I don’t want to end up like the Captain from Captain and Tenile.

  68. @Rollo

    I thought about retiring.

    For me it would be a mistake. Instead I just work from the med when I feel like it. Not quite the same pace, but I still have goals and objectives.

  69. I’m 58 and also thinking about retiring in 2 or 3 years, depending on when I can sell the farm and various toys I’ve collected over the years. Not sure it’s this right think to do. As long as I have a 120K/year hi tech job why not stick around?
    Also started my MSF so motorcycling is to play a big part in my new life

  70. * it’s the right thing to do.

    Kinda burnt out from this afternoon’s motorcycle lesson

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