The Wall

Not to belabor the fresh input contributed by new Rational Reader ‘S’, but her recent comment regarding The Wall has made me aware that I haven’t yet gone into too much detail regarding the Wall and its socio-psychological effects upon women:

Yeah, it’s a term I have seen before arriving at this blog but have never heard in reality. I always attributed it to a woman losing her looks but to place it at exactly 30 seems to me to be too precise a calculation…as there are many variable to be taken into consideration I would imagine. For example, a party girl, serial tanner and smoker could probably lose her looks long before she reaches 30, whereas a clean living late bloomer might not even realize her potential until her mid to late twenties. I’ve seen women from my school..the most popular girls (with guys) changed the most in a negative manner and the nerds or just the most unexpected girls have become more attractive over the years. It’s freaking odd.

The infamous Wall a woman reaches (or slams into as the case may be) is somewhat of an ambiguous term that was actually coined by catty women long before the manosphere came into existence. It used to be a relatively less combative term that women used for one another in an effort to disqualify a sexual competitor. A woman implying another woman had “hit the wall” was marginally more polite than calling her a slut, but the latent purpose is still the same – disqualifying a sexual competitor from men’s mating considerations.

The Fear of Decay

Underneath the obvious utility of the Wall as an epithet is a more painful truth; the inevitable decay of women’s sexual appeal – their first, and for most, only, real agency of power they’ve ever actualized over men to ensure their long term security needs. In the heyday of 2nd wave feminism, the sisterhood’s message was all about collective empowerment and solidarity, but beneath that was the intrinsic hypergamic need to compete for the best mate their looks and sexual availability could attract. As I’ve written before, women prefer their combat in the psychological and there are few fears women harbor as deep and as long as losing their sexual agency with men. They know the Wall will eventually come, and they don’t like to be reminded of it.

Women’s intrasexual combative use of the knowledge and fear of the Wall did not go unnoticed by men. Therefore the feminine imperative found it necessary to make the truth about the Wall as socially and individually subjective as possible. As with most uncomfortable truths unique to women’s weaknesses, the feminine creates social conventions and ambiguities to misdirect men from becoming aware of women’s eventual powerlessness over them (i.e. the progressive loss of her sexual agency). The Threat of having men become aware of women’s Achilles’ heel before they could consolidate long-term commitment with their best hypergamic option was too great a risk not to form social conventions about the Wall.

Implications of the Wall

Thus, in an intergender social context, the Wall became individualized and subjective for women, and it’s within this framework that women like S are most comfortable in addressing the reality of the Wall. “Not all women are like that” (NAWALT), the go-to mantra of feminized subjectivity, is a direct result of subjectivizing the inevitability of the Wall. In fact, virtually every operative social convention women rely upon for empowerment and self-esteem finds its root purpose in avoiding the fear of the Wall. The Myth of Sexual Peak, the Myth of the Biological Clock, the social convention that Women are just as Sexual as Men, are all very complex social rationales with the latent purpose of convincing the majority of men and women alike that post-Wall women can still be equally effective sexual competitors with pre-Wall women.

It’s important to bear in mind that all of these complex social conventions are rooted in a fear of the Wall. I’m repeating this point to emphasize the importance this has in a feminized society that’s subjected to feminine hypergamy as its most operative doctrine. When enough women, through cultural forces or personal circumstance, can’t capitalize upon what they think is their due, optimal hypergamic male option, then society must be acculturated to believe that women past their Wall expiration date can and should be just as desirable as those in their prime. Think of it as a retroactive social moving of the feminized goalposts. This is the gravity and extent that the fear of the Wall plays for women – feminized society is literally structured around avoiding it.

Defining the Wall

When I wrote Navigating the SMP, the reason I used 30 as the general age women typically hit the ‘Wall’ is really a combination of factors. Most importantly it represents the threshold at which most women realize their lessened capacity to sexually compete with the next generation of women in their ‘actualized’ sexual peak (22-24). However, there is a male part of the Wall equation that needs to be understood. 30 is also the general age at which men (should) become aware of their own, longer-lasting sexual market value and potential. This affects women’s interpretations of the Wall. Once a Man is aware that he has the capacity to attract the sexual attentions of the younger women he’d previously had limited access and understanding of, his actions and imperatives define the Wall for women who are approaching that threshold. And unsurprisingly this is the point at which Wall-fearing women begin their accusations of men’s infantile ego issues, shaming, etc. for preferring younger women than themselves.

When we (and as women in particular would have us) view the Wall in terms of physical attractiveness we don’t see the full picture and relevancy the Wall has for women. It’s very easy (and often fun) to compare pictures of girls we knew in high school with their current FaceBook profile shots at 40+ years old and get a laugh at how bad she hit the Wall. It’s also easy for women to point out the notable exceptions to the rule and find a hot 38 year old woman with 3 kids competing in the Ms. Fitness USA pageant. It gives them a sense of hope about their own decay.

However the Wall is much more than just the physical; it’s the conditional that accelerates or decelerates a woman’s date with the Wall.

Single mother? Acceleration.

Consistent, bad personal habits? Acceleration.

Careerist obsessive? Acceleration.

Obesity? Acceleration.

Do notable exceptions to these exist? Of course, but they prove the rule. And that rule comes in the form of such an overwhelming fear that contemporary society needed to be restructured to help avoid it. The 38 year old, careerist, single mother of 3 competing in fitness pageants is only a hero because of the fear of the Wall.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

196 comments on “The Wall

  1. Ridiculously late reply, but I just had to acknowledge the brilliance of NoQuarterForCatLadies last post. This thought experiment really nails the concept at the gut level.

  2. This is a myth, i can tell you how i know. Any man would pass up a 20 year old in shape woman who is strong and athletic for a 30 something feminine type in a dress who is willing to submit.

    Its the same reason men pass up pretty young women from a lower social class bracket in favour of more mature well spoken mutton.

    So keep up with the clock ticking nonsense, and remember time waits for no man.

    I will let you know how i used to think for most of my 20s! And how i think now.

    I used to think, do i have to wait until im too old and tied to feel like going about the world to be able to do so without sexual harassment, do i have to be nearing the menopause to no longer be seen as here for reproductive meat.

    Then at age 30, and now at age 33 i look back at all the years of youth and energy and wish i could have had the type of conditional freedom i have now then. Women have to be too old to have the energy to do anything before they get their body for themselves and by the time it comes its not worth having, having to compete with men for your own body is the real reality of women, and yes time is ticking.

  3. My wife has had 7 babies and I love her madly. She looks beautiful and other men mention it (they don’t understand how it could possibly be). We were both virgins and married young. It’s “The Solution” for manosphere. Woman at work and at restaurants flirt with me, but I love her. Marriage ain’t perfect but nothing is.

    The reason women start divorcing at age 40 is that they aren’t having babies at home (like they did for the last 10,000 years). **Woman are normal when they have babies.** That’s how they have existed in nature for millions of years. If they don’t have babies, they usually become bitches.

    Give women synthetic artificial hormones (birth control pill) in their bloodstream from age 16-29, and women become screwed up…obviously. Then let them have only 2 babies, and their loins start longing for alphas after their husbands stop getting them pregnant. Nature’s revenge.

    Marry a young religious virgin, never use birth control, live naturally, and you’ll have a long happy marriage and lots of cute kids.

  4. Pingback: That was then |
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  7. I went to church this morning, and this lady walks in and sits next to me. Frumpy, 5’3″, maybe 200 pounds. Like a 3, maybe. And she’s oddly familiar….and it hits me.

    She was the homecoming queen when I was a senior in high school 30 years ago. I assume she’s still the entitled, snotty, stuck up bitch she was then.

    Anyway, the wall was not kind to her.

  8. Bumped into my high school crush last night in a bar.

    Back in the day she was a solid hb9, blonde, super hot body I tried but never got anywhere with her but come to think of it nobody else in my year did either.

    Heard she became a hairdresser and married a rich guy.

    She came into the bar with hubby last night to celebrate her 49th birthday and I have to say she didn’t look good.

    She wasn’t fat but all her youthful beauty was gone, the light had gone out of her eyes, her skin and hair had lost its lustre, she just looked jaded.

    She seemed happy to see me and this morning I received a FB request.

    Back in the day I would have walked over hot coals for this girl now I’m not even interested in trying anything with my ex high school crush. I guess I just found it depressing!

    The thing is she is still probably in the top 5-10% for her age but she inspired zero interest in me all the same.

    I think it’s the menopause thing, I was chatting on a FB last week with a hot looking blonde who I though had plate potential she looked late 30’s we were flirting, I was thinking of settling up a date then the next day she posted a status about hot flushes and I found out she’s 48!

    I find the menopause thing to be a major boner killer even if the woman still looks hot.

    I don’t think I’m going to be able to date women close to my age anymore.

    My ex Oneitis who crushed me and led me to finding the red pill about 4 years ago was 39 and still super hot, so now at 43 even is she still looks 95% as good as she did 4 years ago the reality is that she is statistically likely to be just a few years away from the joys of peri menopause and then infertility itself.

    At the start of my red pill journey I would have done anything to get this “girl” back, now I truly look upon it as a bullet dodged as I would have definitely put a ring on it at the time.

    Now no way I’m getting married again, I don’t even think I’ll be monogamous again, at least before I’m 60.

    I always believed that when I got into a position where I could get her back I probably wouldn’t want her and that’s turned out to be true.

    There really is no going back after accepting red pill truths, I will not plug back into the matrix. Being a near 50 year old single man is infinitely preferable to being a woman of similar age, their time has passed and most of them did not make good choices, many have detonated marriages to go back on the CC only to realise too late that nobody with options is buying what they are selling.

  9. One of the obstacles I’ve run into to fully internalizing the RP mindset is when a decent HB I’m spinning ends up flaking for a different guy – I still feel rejected, mope around, and review every date, text, whatever to see where I went wrong. This happened recently as I’ve posted elsewhere on this blog, but it keeps bothering me that I still react this way. I know I’m valuable — I am 50 and have the physical/social/financial status and attract women in their 30s and 40s fairly regularly — so when this most recent one bolted after 6 weeks of fucking I’m perplexed and feeling the sting of rejection, even though I have other plate options. Her verbalized reason was that a prior relationship resurfaced, and also that she was freaking out when started feeling she was becoming emotionally attached to me, and that she is ‘re-living her 20s’ because she was raising a baby back when she really was in her 20s. Now she’s 41, she’s a post-wall recent empty-nester but is one those statuesque, slender, european women I like…probably HB-8 I figure..and even enjoyable outside of fucking….but I always figured she’s a big risk for anything more than a plate given that she had a kid at 18, married 3x, and has demonstrated she makes rash, highly emotional decisions (like most women I suppose). So I was somewhat prepared for this, which makes my oneitis reaction to her exit that much more confounding to me.

    But the RP cognitive dissonance I’m finding I have generally, and specifically in this case, is situations where a plate dumps you for someone else, and even if I had applied a RP mindset perfectly, how can I differentiate between whether the rejection was because I am of perceived lower status than her new option, or because there is some other variable completely unrelated to me and my game and the rejection outcome could never have been prevented? And if the rejection is because of my relative status to her new option, does that imply that she is my HB upper limit?

  10. I HAVE TO ASK… SO CAN AAN, (ALPHA) ACTUALLY ‘LOVE’ HIS WIFE EVEN THRU HER 30’S AND SO ON, IF SHE IS TRYING AND MAINTAINING HER PHYSICAL/MENTAL/AND SEXUAL ABILITIES? OR IS THIS ‘WALL’ JUST THE TIMER THAT LETS MEAN KNOW ITS TIME TO DUMP HIS WIFE AND FIND SOMEONE YOUNGER????

    1. The Wall is actually decided by a woman acknowledging her capacity to compete for the attention of desirable men has been diminished. The Wall is really defined by a woman recognizing she can no longer compete with her sisters for attention as well as she could in her peak sexual market value years.

      Most men recognize this which is why men from 15 to 70 rate women between the ages of 22 – 24 as the most desirable. A woman hitting the Wall has less to do with love and much more to do with arousal / attraction for men.

  11. >The infamous Wall a woman reaches (or slams into as the case may be) is somewhat of an ambiguous term that was actually coined by catty women long before the manosphere came into existence.

    Interesting. Had no idea, I’ve only ever seen it used in things like MGTOW blogs or Red Pill subreddits. Then again, I don’t usually hang out with women.

    >Underneath the obvious utility of the Wall as an epithet is a more painful truth; the inevitable decay of women’s sexual appeal – their first, and for most, only, real agency of power they’ve ever actualized over men to ensure their long term security needs.

    Why depend on men for security at all? Not their job to take care of you. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, nobody is going to be waiting under you with a safety net compromised of money, food, and shelter. Much better to find a job you enjoy, make smart financial decisions, pay for all your own bills, and y’know… actually be an adult human being.

    >In the heyday of 2nd wave feminism, the sisterhood’s message was all about collective empowerment and solidarity, but beneath that was the intrinsic hypergamic need to compete for the best mate their looks and sexual availability could attract.

    What do you mean by “mate”? Sexual partner, husband, boyfriend, friend-with-benefits, etc?

    >As I’ve written before, women prefer their combat in the psychological and there are few fears women harbor as deep and as long as losing their sexual agency with men. They know the Wall will eventually come, and they don’t like to be reminded of it.

    Sounds like this would only apply to women who actually care about having sexual agency over many men. I only care that my boyfriend of 8 years finds me sexually attractive so we can keep having sex numerous times a week, and give zero shits about what other men (or women) think. Fertility means nothing to either of us, as I’m 31 and he’s 46…and got a vasectomy 12 years ago. All that matters is that we are best friends and lovers, that we don’t mingle our finances, don’t cohabitate, don’t try to control one another or play games, and that we both stay healthy and relatively fit.

    Honestly, women who are concerned about hitting “the wall” sound like very one dimensional people, as though they never actually grew up or accepted the plain fact that yeah, men and women age and die..Like maybe they are stuck in a psychological state of childhood, where the only validation they receive is from their looks, instead of actual accomplishments.

    1. My ring fingers are longer than my index fingers. I have more testosterone than the average woman, or at least a greater sensitivity to it. Why?

  12. I like to read this post whenever I experience an unceremonious end to a relationship. I had one end that way recently where she was 43, and she moved away for a job that she thinks will advance her career (which she claims to have sacrificed for raising her one child as a single mother). Women of course maximize their sexual agency, but as a 50+ year old, I have had a front row seat how the ravages of age weigh on women’s attractiveness during their 40s. For most, save for a very small minority, the acceleration of the wall jumps to light speed after 45, when the aging process accelerates mercilessly for women — some can preserve some semblance of natural beauty, but even then gravity is a cruel mistress. Each year between 40 and 45 you see significant aging, and then between 45 and 50 its as if the curve goes vertical. Women are hyper aware of this of course. I’ve seen it over and over again: after 40 they start the chemical peels, boob jobs, liposuction, you name it – all hoping they can stave off the inevitable march of aging and their loss of their main source of power over men. It is like some sort of transition phase where they go from sexy woman to cute grandmother. I do feel for these women, and its sort of sad to see them try to be overly charming to make up for what is an obvious increasingly loss of attractiveness. I’m sure I’ll be considered the cute old grandpa someday, but then again I didn’t have to rely on my appearance for my power.

    1. Why would you even want to be with a woman who thinks that her looks is her main “source of power” in the first place? Such a person sounds shallow and most likely doesn’t have a great personality to be around. I know I could never date a handsome man with nothing between his ears.

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