Plate Theory V: Lady’s Game

I had a good amount of response on last Friday’s Plate Theory post asking for a more complete idea of women being natural Plate Theorists, so I thought I’d elaborate on this.

Female Plate Theory

For as often as I’ve mentioned women being natural plate theorists, I don’t think I’ve ever gone into detail about it. I think it’s pretty well established that I completely disagree with idea that women will only fuck one guy at a time. I could outline several women I know from experience in this, but really, observing behavior will bear this out fairly predictably. I will however agree that they are predisposed to, and are socially encouraged to, seek monogamy, but as in all things female the talk rarely matches the behavior. Sexuality is a woman’s first, best agency and even the homeliest woman know this – even when they’re just complaining about other women using it.

The principle that a woman’s first priority is to seek out security is true, and we’d be wise to bear this in mind when evaluating motives for behavior, but their methodology is what’s in question here. There is an understandable confusion for guys in this respect. On one hand women present a constant facade that the fear of being perceived as a slut (i.e. concurrently fucking more than one guy at a time) is primary to their self-respect and respectability. However, this has to be tempered with the desire to experience a variety of men in order to ensure the security/provisioning from the best among them. So in order to facilitate this women must practice a kind of calculated hypocrisy that is socially reinforced by the gender as a whole as well as some men (usually those so optionless as to excuse the behavior in order to get to her sexuality, or guys so conditioned that they overlook it as normal).

It is socially acceptable for a woman to blatantly spin plates.

Does this sound outrageous? While a woman who makes her sexual practices a bit too overt runs the risk of being perceived as a slut (which is dubious in this age as it is), most relatively attractive women covertly have a constant bullpen of starters ready to go to bat at any one time – these are also known as ‘Orbiters’. These are the attention providers, the “maybe” guys. And it makes little difference in terms of available options which she chooses at any given time, the very fact that she has five or six of them pursuing her is enough to boost her sense of self-worth, her social status within her same-gender peers, and give her the confidence to drop any one of her plates at a moments notice for any reason knowing that 2 or 3 more guys (or 20 more on facebook) stand ready to take his place, no questions asked and prepared rationalizations at the ready.

In addition, this practice is socially reinforced by women doing the same thing and the social conventions constructed to excuse the behavior. It’s the unspoken rule of a woman’s prerogative; she can always change her mind. This is a powerful tool for women –  in any situation, if a woman doesn’t choose to be sexual it is necessarily forced (or obligated), even when it’s after the fact. Either the “Jerk” forced her, physically or emotionally, or she had thought she wanted to, but later reconsidered – it makes little difference. In all social situations the default is to side with the feminine, the “weaker sex” – women, from sympathy or empathy, and men, from a desire to eventually become intimate with them. Dalrock expertly describes this convention in his “Don’t hit me, I’m a girl” post.

In either instance, the feminine prerogative is socially reinforced. That’s important to understand because even by my focusing on it here as a male, my motives for doing so become suspect. That’s how embedded this dynamic is – to question it risks ostracization. However, I also understand that for the greater part of women, this plate spinning dynamic isn’t a conscious effort on their part. In fact I’d suggest that it’s so thoroughly recognized that women default to it autonomously. Also, this is a good example of the first principle of power – when you have power, always feign powerlessness.

Free Reign

So, with a firm understanding that their behaviors will for the most part be excused, they are free to practice the feminine form of plate theory unhindered by social reprisal. The feminine plate spinning involves much more than sex though. Remember that attention is the coin of the realm in female society. The capacity to command attention determines self-esteem, peer status, sexual selectivity, and a host of other factors in a woman’s life, so spinning plates becomes more than just a “which guy am I gonna bang tonight” prospect. This dynamic and these factors are what makes women natural plate spinners. Even when a woman has no intention of ever becoming sexual with a “maybe” guy, his attention still has some value to her. It appeals to the long term prospective for security that’s a continuous subroutine running in her hindbrain. This is the rudimentary psychology behind hypergamy.

Now, combine all of this with women’s native language – covert communication – and it’s natural for a man to assume that a woman will only ever become sexual with one guy at a time. This serves the latent purpose of keeping him in a kind of stasis. If he assumes women will only be sexual under the precondition of commitment she is free to spin plates (essentially weighing options) as she pleases and sample at will what she sees as in her hypergamic best interest at the time. If the carrot looks good enough the guy will patiently pull the cart until such time as another, better carrot comes along. Either way he’s in that stasis. If a guy were to see her social and psychological machinations for what they are, he’d never pull the cart – so it serves women best that men think commitment should always be required for intimacy, even in the face of her behavior directly contradicting this.

Plate Wars

Lastly, this social dynamic serves as a very effective weapon for women against each other. As I stated in the last Plate Theory post, competition anxiety between women is something men can exploit for their own plate spinning, but the reason it is useful is because women so readily use it against each other. For a woman to say another is a “slut” translates into an overt betrayal of this unspoken social contrivance. She essentially is saying, “the rules are that women require commitment for sex, but here’s one who’ll never be worthy of any guy’s commitment because she wont play by the rules you suckers think she will.”

She is tacitly disqualified for a man’s commitment and is, at least in the accusing woman’s mind, a reduced threat in this feminine competition. She becomes exposed in the same game they’re all playing and in being so loses attention and therefore status and personal esteem. It seems petty to guys, but it’s really intra-gender warfare. Think of how many times an exceptionally attractive woman, that is completely anonymous to a group of women you happen to be with, berate her based on appearance alone. “She’s must be a tramp if she dressed like that.” These are the same women who’ll berate a man for basing his estimation of a woman on her outer appearance. This is feminine competition anxiety. Ask a woman to name the most attractive female actress they can think of. Odds are it will be a woman (who as a guy you’d never think of) who presents the least threat of this anxiety.

Gentlemen, as I’m fond of saying, women will fuck. They may not fuck you, they may not fuck me, but they will fuck someone. The girl who bangs the hot guy at the foam party in Cancun on Spring Break within 5 minutes of meeting him is the same girl who want’s you to believe that they’ll only fuck one guy at a time and then after commitment. All women are sexual, you just need to be the right guy at the right time for the job.

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Samuel
Guest

Yep. Women get horny and want their pussies fucked, and therefore it will happen. One way or another. To believe that they are immune to the power of the ‘gina tingle is to be deceived. They thrive on stimulation and vibration of all kind. From a man’s voice, to a rumbling Harley or Motorboat, they RESPOND. They like thrills, and equate excitement with happiness. This is part of why they are hypergamous… because its so hard for one guy to keep triggering that vagina tingle, and once it drops off, the next guy that flips her switches is gonna get… Read more »

Random Angeleno
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Random Angeleno

Really nothing new. In my parents’ and grandparents’ generations which took place well before the sexual revolution, it was common for young women to have several suitors for marriage. Heck, if she was only moderately attractive and sociable enough, she often had multiple marriage proposals in hand and the luxury of picking one of them. In other words, there was often no exclusive dating until she accepted a proposal from one of her suitors to start the official engagement. There wasn’t nearly as much premarital sex then so typical men were more willing to marry to get access to sex.… Read more »

Leap of a Beta
Guest

Hmmm…. Interesting. So a man’s spinning plates are defined exclusively by women he’s had sex with, or plans on having sex with very, very soon.

A woman’s spinning plates are people she get’s support from in some form – financially, emotionally, ect. Possibly Beta chumps who she’d never sleep with, or possibly Alpha’s that she is having sex with. But atleast one plate is having sex.

Hurray women spinning plates via facebook.

Kane
Guest

Gentlemen, as I’m fond of saying, women will fuck. They may not fuck you, they may not fuck me, but they will fuck someone.

Behind every beautiful woman is a man tired of fucking her.

jzEllis
Guest
jzEllis

so true…

In fact that realization alone, and having the epiphany of being in that situation is when I realized the red pill was beginning to take affect in my life.

Pretty girl, average girl, ugly girl. There comes a point when you understand that except for regular sex, I don’t NEED any of them. Once one is honest with himself about what he needs or wants from a woman, then her game is nullified, because you only play when your needs are sure to be met.

Good Luck Chuck
Guest
Good Luck Chuck

I’m probably the most cynical bastard in the manosphere and although I do agree that it is possible for a woman to fuck more than one guy at a time, it isn’t the norm. Despite the devaluation of sex over the past 50 years, women are still not wired to look at it the way men do and thus most of them are not comfortable with the idea of screwing two men concurrently unless they are transitioning from one monogamous relationship to another. For men spinning plates can involve anything from dates to sex with multiple women at any given… Read more »

Bolkie
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Bolkie

Could you explain what ‘not pulling the wagon’ means?

Anton
Guest
Anton

Gotta agree with GLC here. Damn rare for a woman to fuck two guys for a prolonged period of time.

Good Luck Chuck
Guest
Good Luck Chuck

One more thing to note- aside from the soulless Sex and the City skanks (of which there are undoubtedly more of these days) women just don’t get off on sexual variety the way men do. Most men aren’t content to fuck only one woman at any given time. If a woman’s main partner has enough SMV to monopolize her sexual resources most women have little desire to screw around outside of their primary relationship. That’s why if she DOES have any kind of desire it is most likely the beginning of the end.

Hypergamy’s a bitch, you know.

Johnycomelately
Guest
Johnycomelately

“Damn rare for a woman to fuck two guys for a prolonged period of time.”

Dunno about that, I know plenty of guys fucking married women for years without the husband knowing. Way more common than you think.

Heck, a friend showed me a text from a girl he fucked who then went to a dinner with her husband at her in-laws and she texted that she was dripping his cum while at the dinner table!

xsplat
Guest

Sounds like “smell nice and act disinterested”. A hidden anti-game comment?

xsplat
Guest

There are other needs that women can meet, other than sex. Cooking, cleaning, romance.

Or are you saying that you’ve decided that you don’t like to feel romantic anymore?

xsplat
Guest

I’m not convinced. There seem to be women who can remain in love and fuck around casually and discreetly. I know men don’t like to believe this. We like to think only men are capable of it. The theory is supposed to be that women are hypergamous and only fuck around on beta providers that they are not sexually attracted to. I don’t buy it. At the minimum, a sizable minority of women are emotionally capable of fucking around for fun while remaining attracted to and bonded and sexually hot for their main guy. Women need to be mate guarded,… Read more »

xsplat
Guest

And yet men tell stories of long term affairs with other men’s women.

xsplat
Guest

Ya, that’s the theory that us men like to tell ourselves.

I don’t think that holds up nearly as much as we’d all like to think.

xsplat
Guest

Ya. When you’ve been that guy on the phone enough times, you know that trust and alphatood won’t prevent you from being the guy at the dinner table.

Blog Sluts
Guest
Blog Sluts

Heh

Blog Sluts
Guest
Blog Sluts

I have a date this week with a girl in a relationship and am gaming 2 married women on facebook. 2 of the 3 are exes. 1 cheated on me and I cheated with her once. Most of my exes are cheat material, for me especially.

Blog Sluts
Guest
Blog Sluts

I failed to mention 1 of the men I consider more alpha than me; another makes more money in his career and is a model provider and is also alpha. The other isn’t a total beta, but his woman is only a 6 and is very poachable as she misses me.

xalex
Guest
xalex

Frankly, i believe that if you’ve been in an ltr (commitment and all), you have likely been cheated on. She was probably drunk and out of town, so it doesn’t really count, though.

Danger
Guest
Danger

I have seen plenty of girls cheat on their boyfriends over and over again.

However,

I have also seen a similar quantity of cheating girls deny sex to their husband and instead provide it to their new lover.

I honestly do not believe one side outweighs the other. I think both kinds exist in equal numbers.

Doc
Guest
Doc

Over the years I’ve found that much of what I “assumed” to be true about women, isn’t. Pretty much every pattern of behavior accepted as the “norm” by society is just so much “BS” when it comes down to getting between the sheets. I have found that while a lot of guys accept the “serially” monogamous idea when ti comes to women, that in fact they will have one “official” BF, and one or more “unofficial” ones that are only their “dirty little secret”. Since I’ve been that “secret” more times than not, I know that it is quite common… Read more »

YOHAMI
Guest

About half of the girls I´ve hooked up with had boyfriends at the time. Girls always have a *boyfriend* or someone on the plate, then several other interests with varying degrees of interest and investment. Even if they are in a relationship there´s always some dude hitting on them and they rarely cut the contact, they usually renegotiate the interest so they can keep them around, and of course the dude will re-attempt from time to time But having sex with them? mmm I´ve known a few who do. I think sex happens more as a result of what the… Read more »

Cracker
Guest
Cracker

For a woman, juggling multiple men who give her attention and emotional investment in hopes of sex is the equivalent behavior to a man who fucks several women who long for his committed attention . If she has to give up a little sex to get that attention, she will, but it is not her primary motivator. Not that she won’t enjoy the sex, but she’s not fucking around just for the sake of it. Just like a man will give up a little attention and emotional investment (not his primary motivator) to get sex if he needs to (even… Read more »

xsplat
Guest

Just look at what monkeys do. If we do the same things that monkeys do, and if monkeys don’t have complicated intrigues, then it’s unlikely that our motivations are complicated either. Monkey girls fuck around. Human girls fuck around. We do it because that’s what our species does. Generally women are motivated by commitment, and generally more so than men. And yet a sizable minority of men have a lower socio-sexual score than does the average woman. Some men want commitment more than does the average woman. Some women like variety, for sake of it. Some women fuck for fun,… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
Guest
Good Luck Chuck

I think we are probably all more in agreement than not, it just comes down to definitions and semantics. I do not deny the fact that there are plenty of women out there who will fuck multiple men at one time. My point was that this is not women’s general MO. They are wired to view sex differently than men. Again, MOST women can achieve a satisfactory level of overall fulfillment from multiple men WITHOUT having to bang them. And remember, women are predisposed to growing attached to a man who they are having sex with. Any guy who has… Read more »

flyfreshandyoung
Guest

Gonna have to agree with xsplat here. I’ve, erm, been involved with 3 girls who were in LTRs, LTRs that any outsider looking in would be like hey these two people love each other. They banged a lot, got along really well. Flowers and sunshine. But the chicks wanted something else at the same time. So they got some on the side, with me. It was only on a few occasions, and their priorities always rested with her bf first and foremost. Maybe they were outliers, but then again, maybe they were just in an ideal situation to get some… Read more »

xsplat
Guest

There is a lot of truth in that.

However there is another true generality about women that is a bit more disconcerting. They have an uncanny knack for compartmentalizing their awareness.

And it’s difficult for a man to know just how many compartments he is taking up. I’ll guarantee it’s never 100% of them.

Women can set aside other options when they are emotionally engaged with 1 compartment.

But that isn’t the whole woman you are dealing with. It’s just one compartment of her.

Leap of a Beta
Guest

Once the gates are open, anyone’s allowed through.

walawala
Guest
walawala

Girls like attention…flip that switch and they chase, that’s what I learned when I learned game. I’ve broken up with my gf of a year…now, she’s super keen and cool, always wants to meet up, chat, etc. The one who i gamed is 27, she has blokes chasing her up. But after parties she waits for me so she can get into the sack and go explore more. This is more unspoken. We chat, hang out, but the subtext here is we will go further. She gets little gifts from guys who think that’s the way to her heart. I… Read more »

itsme
Guest
itsme

flowers and sunshine is the problem. women crave drama and excitement. banging another guy on the sly satisfies the craving a bit.

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[…] – “What to Demand from Your Woman?”Rollo Tomassi – “Plate Theory V: Lady’s Game“, “The Rush“, “A League of Your Own“, “The Slut […]

Doug1
Guest
Doug1

Yeah but often the wife having an affair will fuck her own husband less and less. Maybe she’ll make herself do it some to try to keep him from getting wise, but no longer really wants it, and in fact tries to invent reasons why she shouldn’t give him sex, picks fights, and so on.

Doug1
Guest
Doug1

One source of info I have on this are cheating wife blogs. In a few of the cases the wife is just as motivated to have sex with her husband before she began cheating, but usually not. They usually stop being sexually attracted much to their husbands but if they stay in the relationship, still love him in other ways, as someone easy to get along with, a good father, and provider, etc. Well they usually don’t explicitly say good provider but that’s often pretty clearly part of the motivation to stay with him. I do agree that there are… Read more »

Ncalif
Guest
Ncalif

Obviously everyone thinks and lives differently than another, though sometimes similar. My wife has experimented ( had affairs ) prior to marriage ( dating and engagement timeframe ) and during our marriage. Women have numerous attention requirements. Marriage and relationships should be happy for all involved, clearly. My wife and I have come to an agreement for her to have some extra fun if she desires. She has desires and complied with our agreement with a very well endowed law enforcement man that was interested in her as he learned we were having marital problems. Guess the sex was filling… Read more »

YOHAMI
Guest

Are you banging other women as well?

Ncalif
Guest
Ncalif

No I am not banging other women as well. When I was younger in my 20s and 30s I had my share and probably your best friends and your share of women. My wife had only a few men when she was of that age. We have been together for a long time and she seems interested in some spice. By the way, our sex life is great, actually better than many of our friends who have been married less in years than us. She was pursued by a man who was divorcing after 17 years of marriage. We were… Read more »

Ncalif
Guest
Ncalif

Agree totally, I know first hand.

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[…] of any one encounter is compared against the frequency with which guys are hitting on her. This is female Plate Theory in action. If you happen to be one among many of the throngs of her suitors she’s less likely […]

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saagarsachdev
Guest

That explains women looking for only ‘new friends’ on OKCupid.

Grendel
Guest

Ncalif – Wow what a cuckold

Matthew Rodriquez
Guest
Matthew Rodriquez

For those of you that don’t believe women can’t be good at plate theory or that they are incapable of screwing around look up terrance popp’s “dna getaway” on youtube. Bloodbanks inadvertantly found one in three children were not the biological child of the father married to the mother. This happens all the time. Its hard for me to accept too but cuckoldry (a part of natural female plate theory is a real thing). Honestly our lineage should be through matriarchal lines not patriarchal. What are the chances that one of our female ancestors cheated on their spouse during thousands… Read more »

Mekkatron
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Reblogged this on Electric Audiences in the 305! and commented:
Dont let the women fool you, they play games better than anyone!

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[…] covered this in Plate Theory V: Lady’s Game; the natural extension of women’s sexual strategy is, at least practically, best served from […]

Omega Man
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Omega Man

for the guys here who believe women will only fuck one guy at a time, you REALLY need to re-evaluate your stance. you need to see them in action with your eyes… bc if you’re BELIEVING women when they tell you they don’t mess around, you’re being fooled. remember, a woman can legitimately (in her mind) rationalize her behavior to innocence in a split second. he didn’t cum inside her… he came inside the condom. to her, that’s not sex. he got a bj, but he didn’t cum in her mouth. that’s not sex… just a ‘different’ kiss. he got… Read more »

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