One of the more entertaining debates I’ve had in my post-red pill awareness has been discussing the issue of men doing more “chores around the house” so as to more equitably distribute domestic duties amongst couples. The operative beneath this canard is that a more idealized state of gender neutralized bliss can be attained in a couple if only the male partner would feel it incumbent upon himself to assume chores that the female partner feels she’s entirely overburdened with.

Hmmm,..this presents a quandary for the Feminine Imperative; how would a Strong Independent Woman® motivate her live-in lover (sometimes known as ‘husbands’) to pick up the domestic job slack? Why of course, resort to the strategy that worked so well in convincing him to monogamous commitment – bait him with the obligation promise of unrestricted less restricted sex! It’s so simple in its form, so elegant in its function,..enter Diane Mapes’ Choreplay.

Gals make passes at guys who wash glasses.

I had a party not too long ago where a funny thing happened. One of the guests — a 30-something, single straight guy — came out to the kitchen and volunteered to do my dishes. “That way you won’t be stuck with a huge mess after everyone leaves,” he said, filling the sink with hot, soapy water.

As he started scrubbing wine glasses, I glanced over at my guests. Every woman in the room was staring at him with what can only be described as pure, unadulterated lust.

Behold the appeal of the dishy man.

Yes, that’s right gentlemen, Roissy had it all wrong, in girl-world washing the dishes is the undiscovered catalyst for ‘gina tingles. Athol Kay and his MAP? Get the fuck outta here, it’s vacuuming and dusting that inspire “what can only be described as pure, unadulterated lust.”

Side Note: Have a look at the date this article was published (2/13/2008, just before Valentines day) it’ll be important when we get to today’s bonus round.

Are there any benefits, aside from soulful glances and the satisfaction of a sparkling clean floor, that exist for men who share the load (laundry and otherwise)?

That’s hard to say, although there are some interesting indicators. A recent survey by Parenting Magazine found that “choreplay,” i.e., husbands pitching in around the house, was what put 15 percent of moms in the mood.

Ooh, a whole 15%?! Would this mean the other 85% were turned off?

You know, I’ve been married for over 16 years now and in that time, on occasion, I’ve performed many domestic duties for no other reason than it was a necessity. I have changed my daughter’s diaper, I have cleaned toilets, I’ve done laundry, I’ve vacuumed, etc. However, in 16 years never have I had my wife be consumed with an uncontrollable lust to give me a spontaneous blow job or pin me down on the kitchen floor, tear my pants off and ride me to glory after my having put away the dishes. Neither have I ever heard the words, “damn, you looked so hot ironing my blouse yesterday, fuck me you stud, fuuuuhhck MEEE!!” proceed from her lips while in the throes of passion.

And in the interest of being fair, I’ve never been turned on, nor do I consider it foreplay with my wife, when she’s the one doing the chores. I have been greatly turned on by the sight of her in lingerie; sweat pants, a t-shirt and a toilet bowl brush in hand? Not so much.

However some of the most memorable sexual experiences I’ve had with her (and other women in my sexual past) have come after I’ve done something particularly masculine or I performed well doing something that benefitted me with a lot of social proof. For instance, my wife seems to like sex after I’ve had a good heavy lifting day at the gym. She also seems very amorous after social engagements I bring her along to for my work.

So the moral of this story is, as always, base your assessments on a woman’s behavior – NEVER on her words. Any woman telling you you look hot in an apron or she loves how you pee sitting down is selling you something. It’s up to you to determine what she’s selling.

Ah, but what is she selling?

Research conducted by Laurie A. Rudman, a psychologist at Rutgers University, also seems to point to a hot soapy love connection. Her study, recently published in the journal Sex Roles, looked at feminism’s impact on romantic relationships. Among other things, she found that men with feminist partners reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction.

“We didn’t ask who was doing the dishes or taking care of the kids,” says Rudman. “We asked broadly about the quality of the relationship and about the agreement of gender roles in the relationship. But we did find that if men were with a feminist woman, they had more sexual satisfaction and their relationship was more stable. Men benefit from having a feminist partner.”

Oh ho ho, that’s it! Feminist women get hot seeing their men in an apron, and boy dothey ever benefit. So you see guys, you’re going about this all wrong; you benefit from locking down a feminist woman and embracing the gender neutral sexiness of traditionally feminine household chores.

Back to the Future!

Ah, 2008 what heady time it was, but unfortunately I need to step back into my phone booth DeLorean time machine and fast-forward to January 30th, 2013 where, not to be outdone by her 2008 assertions of Choreplay, the exact same media has a new take on intergender chore assignments. Take it away 2013 feminine imperative Diane Mapes:

Hey, fellas, put down those vacuum cleaners and pull out the lawn mowers.

Married men may think helping around the house may up their hotness quotient in the bedroom, but what really matters is the type of chore. Heterosexual married men who spend their time doing yard work, paying bills and changing the oil have more sex than husbands who spend their time cooking, cleaning and shopping, according to a new study on the subject of housework and sex.

“Households with a more traditional gender division of labor report higher sexual frequency than households with less traditional gender divisions of labor,” says Sabino Kornrich, lead author of a study that appears in the February issue of the American Sociological Review. “Housework is something that people use as a very important way to express gender, masculinity and femininity. We weren’t surprised to think that sex might be more tied to this type of gender expression.”

So, let me get this straight, the yard work, manual labor, auto maintenance, home remodeling and pressure washing hotness that I replaced with soapy dish washing, ironing boards and laundry detergent was actually what inspired “what can only be described as pure, unadulterated lust?” Whoda thunk?

You mean to tell me all that shit I ate in 2008 about being a neanderthal 50’s throwback for expressing that Men’s work is what women really find sexy was all just horse shit slung from the feminine imperative?

I realize I’m goofing on this, but I remember reading Mapes’ first article in 2008 and started thinking about why a man doing “woman’s work” would be in any way sexy or at all arousing for a woman. As usual it’s always a good start to reverse gender roles in order to get a better understanding of any social contrivance or perceived “double standard”. The equalist mindset can never logically stand up against this reversal.

Would a guy get sexually excited to see a woman doing traditionally masculine housework? In 16 years of marriage I’ve never had my wife do, much less offer to do, things around the house (on a regular basis) that I assumed as a husband from day one. I get the dirty jobs. I mow the lawn, clean up the dog shit in the back yard, I have trash duty, clean the pool/spa, install the nice new acrylic sinks and marble countertops she picks out, plunge the toilets when they back up, install the garbage disposal, fix what I can on her car, wash the cars,…you get the idea. And of all those (with the exception of maybe seeing her wash my car in a thong bikini) I can’t say as I’d get turned on by seeing my wife do any of that. So what is the intrinsic appeal of seeing a guy doing the dishes Mr. & Mrs. Gender Equalist?

The role reversal of putting a man into a traditionally feminine role doesn’t have real arousal value. It has a power value for sure, in that it temporarily casts a man in a submissive role, but after the novelty of having a guy perform those behaviors repeatedly wears off, does it still have that arousal value? My wife doesn’t wear lingerie for me every night, but she does so often enough that the arousal value of it still turns me on. However doing the dishes is something so mundane and so monotonous that any thrill that might be associated with it wears thin in a month.

The Mapes Effect

I can’t end this article without drawing attention to what I’m sure most of my readers are getting about the 5 year shift in attitude with regards to these articles. It’s easy to pass these off as some flighty progression in feminine self-understanding, but remember Diane Mapes draws a paycheck for writing these articles in well read media sources. She’s a media arm of the feminine imperative.

What we’re graphically witnessing is the fluidity with which the feminine imperative can realign itself socially to better affect its propagation. You see in 2008 the message to men (that resonated with women) was Fem-Up; stop being so insecure in your masculinity and do the dishes and laundry – the payoff will be more sexual access. In 2013 the message to men (again resonating with women) is Man-Up; stop being such a house frau and get out int the yard and mow – the payoff will be more sexual access.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that this is just another example of women’s fickle duplicity. A lot has happened socially in the five years between these articles; the End of Men, Kate Bolick, feminine triumphalism, men “checking out”, kidults, ‘late term’ spinsters unable to find “acceptable” men, etc. and a whole slew of other gender shifts occurred between both these articles. What Mapes’ most recent article represents is the feminine imperative reworking an outdated feminine social convention to accommodate women’s Man-Up needs in 2013 that it actively extinguished itself in the Fem-Up years leading up to 2008.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

88 comments on “Choreplay

  1. I ate the bullshit with a smile on my face as i became the ‘kitchen bitch’.

    At the same time…

    I did not expect my wife to help out in the role swap by having her paint the living room, fix the computer problems, clean the potty patch on the balcony, or do any reno’s around the place.

    I had my kitchen bitch ass handed to me.

    Never again, no matter how much tripe feminist cunts spew about how they now do the boatload of work in relationships by having to work at the office pushing paper all day AND do a majority of the work at home.

  2. Also, feminism put out the canard that men ‘cant pull their weight’ when it comes to doing shit around the house.

    They don’t know how to change diapers.
    They don’t know how to fold the laundry properly.
    They don’t know how to arrange the bedspread properly.
    And everytime they try, they just make more work when the woman has to ‘redo’ all the mistakes hapless hubby made when attempting to help.

    Did it ever cross their mind that

    Perhaps my way of folding shirts is more efficient and space saving.
    Perhaps i don’t think the bed needs 8 display pillows on it.
    Perhaps the way i wrap a kids ass after wiping looks awkward, but his ass is dry and he’s in the damn diaper.

    I never ONCE decided to berate or make the wife feel like shit or tell her she wasn’t ‘pulling her weight’ when she got paint in the carpet trying to paint the wall, or accidentally downloaded tons of music over data instead of wifi costing us $80 in service charges, on putting a virus onto the computer, on being unable to kill her own wasps, on not cooking on a regular basis, on being unable to clean the toilet, on creating massive streaks on the wall forcing me to apply another coat of paint, of being unable to measure cuts of wood, or rewire the outlets or install new light fixtures… and on and on. I could keep going..

    But it never once crossed my mind to denigrate her for being unable to do these things.

    But in GirlWorld.. just like the Twilight Zone… rules of conduct don’t apply.

  3. Rollo, dead on once again. The women who “lust” for the man maid aren’t married to Alpha’s. As a recovering Beta, I have played the dishwasher guy part way to many times. Yes you get the “oh what a nice guy”, but only now recently have I realized that it doesn’t cause the gina tingles, especially my wifes. I was text book beta, working on changing that. thanks for the enlightenment….

  4. I think the looks of “lust” that the women were give at the guy doing the dishes were the same kind they give shoes. Doesn’t mean they are going to stick the shoes in their vaginas.

  5. You know what’s interesting about this convention is that it is essentially selling the obligation of sex for services rendered. In the most binary sense the message is ‘do the dishes, laundry, women’s work etc., and your wife will want to fuck you.’

    Now compare and contrast this message with the brutal shaming of the Nice Guys of OK Cupid. The message those guys took to heart was essentially the same – do nice things / favors for women and you will be rewarded with sex.

    It absolutely drives me fucking insane to read Hugo Schwyzer ridicule men for expected, obligated sex in lieu of favors and niceties, yet he would likely agree with the Choreplay trope that men could anticipate a sexual response for dropping their masculine imperative and do ‘women’s work’ in exchange for sex.

  6. Ha, most Christian marital advice still exhorts husbands to help with dishes and cleaning to get their wives in the mood. But we’re always a few years behind in accepting general societal trends, so no doubt the lawn-mowing/manly chores advice will be hitting the Christian market next year.

    [Well at least you can console yourself with the knowledge that Real Housewives Reality TV is now Christian Kosher®

  7. Does a woman like Mapes know what she’s writing is nuts while she’s writing it or is the cognitive dissonance just that strong?

    This shit never ceases to astound me.

  8. men tend to be better around the kitchen than today’s women anyway.

    funny and tragic at the same time.

  9. what can only be described as pure, unadulterated lust.”

    Ha, NO! But I am sure there was cooing for what seemed to be what they thought they wanted. But you can almost always hear in the voice of women when they coo for what they thing they want and what they really want. I´ve found that if you listen to women when they say something blue pill and when they say something red pill there are usually distinct differences in voice tone and body language. Start to look for it yourself.

  10. Rollo,

    Regarding your comment, I think context is important. If laid out on a timeline Hugo is just asserting TamingTheAlpha.

    Not that he is correct, just that would be his defense.

  11. Being married now 18 years, I attest to many of Rollo’s experiences. Sometimes, you have to pitch in and help out of necessity. However, our chores do fall along the lines of male-female roles. My wife looks to me to handle the house-technology-yard stuff (although she enjoys the immediate satisfaction of making the house look great – even then, she plants the flowers and handle the big work) and she does a lot of cleaning and laundry. Still, every guy / husband / father must learn how to clean clothes and cook; period. I also have found that my wife appreciates the help too. It obviously appeals to her “nesting” feelings. Now, she does not get turned on by me dusting or cleaning the kitchen, but she has been known to share a long hot shower after I have fixed, repaired or solved some domestic challenge.

  12. Is it possible to frame housework in a dominant way and direct her. I am great at managing time and have strong OCD and cleaning is therapeutic to me. Possible to keep the tingles alive? I game, fix cars, dominate socially for the most part

  13. @Davy
    I’m the same way. As bizarre as it sounds I will Windex the windows, mop and vacuum because it reduces my stress. I’ll get home after stressing at my business and do this sometimes. However, I don’t take well to being asked to do any household chores – I only want to do them when I’m stressed out or being OCD.

    On a side note, I’m 33 and still do not know how to wash clothes. But I can fix cars and smoke some mean ribs!

  14. “It absolutely drives me fucking insane to read Hugo Schwyzer ridicule men for expected, obligated sex in lieu of favors and niceties, yet he would likely agree with the Choreplay trope that men could anticipate a sexual response for dropping their masculine imperative and do ‘women’s work’ in exchange for sex.”

    Because men helping with chores facilitates the ‘gender equality’ feminism strives for to allow them to do ‘paid’ work in cubicles vs. oppressive work at home.

    The lure of sex is just that. The carrot. They’ve also trying to condition/convince women that they will find it sexy to see their man doing it.

    That novelty wears off quick when they want dominant men to ravage them.. and only feel the delicate touch of dishpan hands.

  15. In other words, there is no gender equality to be derived from giving out sex for ‘niceguy’ behavior, even tho they enjoy the freedbies that come with.

    Fucking leeches.

  16. @itsme

    men tend to be better around the kitchen than today’s women anyway.

    funny and tragic at the same time.

    This is the truth. I’ve not met any women who can cook as good as any of the 3 of the male roommates I’ve had, and only a very select few who cook better than I do. Also true about keeping the kitchen clean. The few women I’ve seen who like to cook generally leave a disaster in the kitchen when done.

  17. Nice rewriting of an already agreed upon contract (marriage) on her part. Being married should already have created an obligation on her part to have sex with her husband. But that would hand over the only asset she has to bargain with.

    So, she’s unilaterally rewriting the contract that they both already agreed to; backing out of her obligation (sexual access), while holding her husband to his (provisioning).

    This allows her to sell her sexual access twice; once to secure provisioning through marriage, and then again in a tit for tat way to extract favors (chores, or what have you).

    Rhetorical Question:
    How many times is she going to make her husband pay for the sex he already bought?

    Rhetorical Answer:
    As many times as she possibly can.

  18. if your the man you shouldn’t really be doing shit around the house but relaxing and what you want to do.
    I don’t do the housework I also don’t do the traditional shit either and when i want sex i get that too.
    really important shit i do.
    REALLY important things.
    like ok if it sounds like someone breaking into our house on the outside i’ll go out with a knife in my hand and my chick like wtf you just gonna walk out there.
    Yea i am.
    Or the plumbers doing some major work and i’ll watch them like i did so that they can’t fuck us over.
    I saved us a grand they wanted to charge us even though they messed up bigtime.
    Other things like washing dishes, cleaning clothes, painting, washing the car, making the bed, getting my drink refilled, lighting my cigerettes, taking out the trash, cleaning up cat shit, fixing a step “unless it requires the use of a handsaw which she just physically couldn’t cut the wood for or measure to well” i did it, unclogging the toilet, dusting, mopping, cleaning out the car, shoveling the snow “when it snowed a shitload i did it” , cleaning the tv, cleaning my computer, putting my socks on, feeding me “i feed her shit too”, vacuuming, i let her oversee putting a new hot water tank in and went to sleep, getting me my hot chocolate with the caramel and marshmellows and whipcream the way i like it when i want one, cooking. I don’t get a honey do list i do get sex whenever i want it and yea ok when she wants it sometimes i cave and eat the putty occasionally.
    this is an american chick.
    especially if a chick doesn’t work and the man does what should the man HAVE to do around the house?
    Not a dam thing
    “traditional” work for men is bullshit too
    he is supposed to come home from work and have to fix something f that
    she can do it all almost in my book give woman credit where credit is due they can do most things let them do them and provide you a nice relaxing life.
    and also especially if they do work they can do it all too he he he

  19. My ex and I once got into a fight over chores after she had nagged me to do more around the house for the millionth time. Of course, the chores she was talking about were *her* chores. Noticeably absent was mowing the lawn, car maintenance, appliance repair, house maintenance and the like. When I mentioned that she left those out, her response was classic female hamster, “Well you *like* doing that stuff so they don’t count as chores.” My response, “I don’t hate doing those things but I can certainly think of things I’d rather be doing than laying on the ground under a greasy car with hot motor oil running down my arm. Maybe I’d like to sit on the couch and read a book in the warm house while YOU did that shit. So, anytime you want to trade, I’ll cook dinner and vacuum and YOU climb up on the roof to fix the shingles or clean the gutters.

  20. @ Rollo

    “Now compare and contrast this message with the brutal shaming of the Nice Guys of OK Cupid. The message those guys took to heart was essentially the same – do nice things / favors for women and you will be rewarded with sex.”

    I’ve said the same thing when the nice guy articles were popping up.
    Society has no problem telling men how to act to receive sex/relationships from woman, but have the men complain about not receiving anything and people lose their minds.

  21. Great analysis.

    Part of why I don’t have an interest in getting married is that girls don’t really bring anything to the table anymore. Not many of them know how to cook any better than I do because they were microwaving TV dinners and eating fast-food like me. Not many of them know how to sew because they have enough disposable income to just buy new stuff instead of fix old stuff or make their own shit. Not many of them are any better at cleaning than I am because they can afford a cleaner or they’ve been brought up to think that a guy will want them regardless of how messy and shitty they are. Not many of them come with no financial baggage because they ran up a bunch of debt playing into consumerism without learning financial responsibility and they know their parents or a future husband will bail them out of their mistakes.

    So what exactly is the appeal? Getting married is basically like legally tying yourself to a big lazy expensive baby lol

    I don’t want to mow the lawn or clean the gutters, but if there’s a delicious home cooked meal in a sparkling clean house waiting for me when I’m done, I’m in.

  22. Yeah, well it will be a while before the Fem-Up thing loses momentum.

    I listen to KVRX on the radio in Austin. KVRX is student radio from the University of Texas. It is extremely free form. The DJs are UT students and they play what they want and it is extremely diverse but the general theme is the station slogan “None of the hits all of the time”.

    Some of shows are interview formats. Remember that these are Radio, Television, and Film students. The show that was just on was the host interviewing these students about this supposedly huge craze that is emerging:

    Competitive Hide and Go Seek.

    Yep, that’s right. They set some physical boundaries in some location which varies from match to match. And it is coeducational. So you go off and hide and then the “seeker(s)” attempt to find you. You must be tagged by seeker and may actually run when spotted.

    And they taut that it is not some macho thing where men have the “advantage” merely because they are men with superior athletic skills. “Everyone has played Hide and Go Seek before”. I thought it funny they had to go all the way back to a game that was played before boys began to differentiate themselves physically from girls. Roosh wrote about the “whining” of some hypothetical girl in co-ed kick ball league that “we would have won but the other team had this MAN who was faster and he just had to show off by getting all of us ‘out’ Men should be forced to wear 20 pound weights on their ankles”. (Oh by the way, the winners of the Hide and Go Seek competition were men. The winner went to an obvious place right at the fringe of the boundary, laid down and remained very still. No one thought to look there. At the end of the contest he still wasn’t accounted for. We they called “All in free”, he actually came from a different direction so as not to give away the secret. There was maybe one girl in the last 5 found)

    The DJ was interviewing 2 males and 1 female. It was the boy’s voices that got me also, as much as the Hide and Go Seek thing. If you would have dropped the pitch of the voices a few octaves then they would have sounded much like girls from maybe 10 years back. Very “Valley” sounding vocal pattern with what linguists referred to as Upspeak where pitch rises towards to end of station almost like a question. It had been the pattern of girls, like they were expressing insecurity as they spoke. And the boys said lots of girl words like “awesome”, “incredible”, and “really”.

    And the girls are now countering with something called a Vocal Fry. They still have that cutsie girl voice thing but underneath there is this growl particularly on words that end in consonants like ‘d’ and ‘r’. Linguists had identified this trend and gave it the “Fry” label. The female writers didn’t like the term “Fry” because it sounded to much like “Fried”, stoned, confused, all the definitions are inferred when you say “I”m so fried, man”. So the female writers immediately pinned it with “Growl”. So young girls are now growling at the bottom of their words as way to express their “power”.

    And I agree. After reading this article about the Vocal Fry I began to listen for it the voices of the girl DJs. I hear it on the ones that I “assume” are attractive from the other things they say. There was a show with a panel of girls that were talking about food and desserts. And these girls seemed to me like fat girls given what they were saying. And none of them “Fried” their words. So the Fry is kind of the “cute girl” thing. There is something very feral in this vocal pattern. The girls might talk cute when they want, but underneath it there is that bitch quality that the “Fry” infers to me.

    I went to UT and it has changed a lot since I went there. It was the state university when I went there with 60% of students coming from Texas, About 20% and 10% being foreign. Mu dumb ass got it. I had a 1100 on my SAT and a low B average. I had been thrown out of school at least twice a year and every day out deducted 3 points from the GPA on a scale of 100 for that 6 week period. Once I was thrown out for 10 days and literally had to get 100s to keep from failing. So I was able to get it even with a low B. That would never happen today. The typical boy back then was pretty much a bad boy that was smart. Everyone smoked pot. Everyone was sort of wild. We got called “pigs” a lot by the girls. And when I went, there the whole macho Texan thing was constantly under attack in the student newpaper by the Hugo Schmegas of the day. The boys were “too macho” for those girl student back then.

    So, the state has grown tremendously in population since I went there and there have been no “new” universities emerge and the University of Texas has become extremely competitive to enter. UT was already too big 30 years ago and can’t expand. It 45,000 undergrad when I went there and it is 10 blocks from one end to the other. You can’t walk across it in the time between classes. Most of the freshman classes back then had 300 people in many of them. So today, if a high school student gets a B during high school they will not get in there. If get less than 1200 on your SAT, really 1300, you will not get in there.

    So the population has changed to be more bookish, more nerdy, more arty, and more feminine. I would think if I called that radio station and said to those boys, “What the fuck are you doing? You fucking idiots. You don’t play Hide and Go Seek with girls!!! Stop being so fucking beta, you little wimps. Jesus, women want men. Go find a Rubgy team for Christ’s sake and lose that fucking voice.” They would think I was some cranky old “misogynistic nutcase” with emphasis on OLD.

    And the attitudes of college graduates manifest in all sorts of ways, in the law as those “men” become lawyers and judges, as managers at work, as writers, and as parents. I had somewhat come out of college sympathetic to feminist ideology because of the classes I had to take. Until I began to view the world as it really is. It took about 5 years for me until I started to see the way things are and as I talked to other men that were college graduates, they all had some sort of rationalization or justification about what I said like “Well, that’s your own unique experience.”, “You just hate them and are looking for things to hate”, and the hugest of the huge, “Not all women are like that”.

    It’s gonna be a long fucking road back.

  23. Also this was very good use of the word Canard in this post.

    “The operative beneath this canard is that a more idealized state of gender neutralized bliss can be attained in a couple if only the male partner would feel it incumbent upon himself to assume chores that the female partner feels she’s entirely overburdened with.”


    Definition of CANARD

    a : a false or unfounded report or story; especially : a fabricated report
    b : a groundless rumor or belief

    Examples of CANARD

    The book repeats some of history’s oldest canards.

    The widespread canard that every lawyer is dishonest (or that every woman is naturally monogamous and faithful)

    Origin of CANARD

    French, literally, duck; in sense 1, from Middle French vendre des canards à moitié to cheat, literally, to half-sell ducks
    First Known Use: 1851

    One commenter at the bottom of the page gave an example:

    “This is a great word of the day “canard”. As in Fox news loves to quote “some people say” when supporting a canard.”

    And from a female commenter

    “I used it in scrabble…didn’t know what it meant.”

    Roosh was commenting on how the Manosphere will be found by the Media in 2013. One female writer was expressing surprise at how “unpolitical” the manosphere really is. And I say that is because it is cultural and all men regardless of economic class, educational background, or ethnicity are experience the same things and expressing outrage.

    The major bloggers are giving “words” to the thoughts and feeling that men are having.

    Canard being one of them.

    Thanks for the Manosphere Word of the Day.

    So to the long list of “canards” that permeate the Feminine Imperative I say …

    Fuck a Duck.

  24. Part of why I have no interest in marrying for a second time is how similar the overwhelming majority of women are behave like my ex wife. I’ve had the same argument about chores as GT 66 did with my ex wife and my only long term girl friend since the divorce. Plus it’s a common complaint/ battle with the majority of married men I know.

    The main reason I will never remarry is the divorce laws. Hard to reup for it once you stand in front of a judge and get reduced to the legal level of a mule or slave.

    Mark, could you post the link about the vocal fry? I couldn’t find it on Google and it’s peaked my curiosity. Thanks in advance

  25. The only appeal of marriage anymore is children. Combine the fact they are the biggest weapon in divorce cases and most women would be/are horrible mothers that appeal isn’t all that great either.

    If/when they ever come out with robots or artifical wombs women are really going to be up a creek without a paddle.

  26. The choreplay concept of doing women’s chores is only effective if its applied like the Skittles principle. If a man is doing *his* chores, like the ones Rollo listed above, that ought to be more than enough. The dishwasher might have gotten the women hot and bothered initally, but, odds are he benefited from no such subsequent adulation.

  27. This blog is something I look forward to each day. The comments are almost as good as the blog entries. Keep up the great work and thanks for the enlightenment.

  28. is the cognitive dissonance just that strong?

    Haha i was thinking exactly the same thing. Still can’t believe it.

    How am I supposed to read people and see if theyre not bullshitting me when they themselves believe the shit theyre telling and when I call them out on it I am the asshole!
    Same when i just don’t believe people anymore when they state that theyre going to make “some change” or “will never work with that person again” or “I would never do that”. If i say i dont believe them then i get socially ostracized.

    It’s just that these constant lies in every social interaction while at the same time people are claiming to uphold telling the truth as a virtue completely astounds and drains me.

  29. Rollo-
    Would you please do a post on plate spinning (less figurative plate spinning and more actually juggling women) and valentine’s day or point me to some good resources? I am curious as to how to manage this day when I have 4 girls currently in play. I can get away with saying “I don’t do valentine’s day” but I imagine there is a better, more pro-active strategy I can use to spend the day with the best one but the others (which are promising) in rotation.

    [Plate Theory. Start at the bottom and read up. You know I have categories on the side nav bar for a reason.

    V-Day,..and a search feature too.]

  30. Big upvote on all the stuff you lot are saying about “modern” girls being completely useless at anything like that, even the stuff in the box next to the box marked “Chores”.

    Cook? You must be joking. Pasta and a jar of sauce is hardcore to them.
    I’ve had one even express bewilderment that it was possible just to get a football-sized chunk of topside and toss it in the oven with some veg, have a drink, and then pull it all out and start with the linen and candles and all that stuff. Thought it came sliced. And freaked out at the “blood” (rare, naturellement).
    Understandable if they’d never seen it before. I’m not down on innocent ignorance. But all they do is watch the fool’s lantern all day and night, especially the foodie shows. Another one for my “WTF? Women ..” file.

    And don’t get me started on ironing shirts, and pants etc. Wouldn’t cross their minds. My old man taught me. And probably yelled as much as the corporal did at him, until I got it right.

    I’ve near as dammit rebuilt the house, do all the garden stuff (apparently even weeding is too onerous for “feminists”), cars, like you all. The bloody washing machine! Repaired it so often that when the case started to rust, I momentarily considered replacing it with a nice timber one, all mitre-jointed and a nice oiled finish. After all, the replaced parts and bearings were as good as new, now. XD

    ‘Course there’s always been a dishwasher. Saves the shock and rage when the the response to “You have to do the dishes, not leave them in the sink like that (Pah! men, etc.)” is the fairly obvious “How about you eat less?”

    If that makes me a kitchen bitch then hasta la vida baby. But it’s either that, or don’t live with (middleclass western) women. Or live in a shitheap, and starve.

  31. Ahh, the “vocal fry”, I’ve noticed it but wasn’t aware it had a name, thanks Mark.

    Annoying, as is the recent tendency for girls to insert phantom “s” and “z” sounds after consonants. Think about pronouncing the word “do” like “dzou”, or “to” like “tsou”, and you get what I mean.

    These vocalizations, like the fry and the “street-ifying” trends, are all projections of attitude. They’re a way of saying: “I’m so hot I can get away with being a bitch”. They come off as inordinately pleased with themselves, even if they’re doing it to cover up insecurity.

    Classic hallmark of the entitlement epidemic.

    But most annoying when it creeps into the mainstream music we all have no choice but be subjected to. I mean, how the fuck did Justin Bieber and Drake get their accents?

    Female musicians: mangling notes with fake over-emotionality, Idol-inspired displays of vocal athletics that have no connection to the song, “cutesy” voice, “sexy” voice, SWPL pretending to sound “street”… please, give us a break already.

    Here’s an example (lots of vocal fry):!

    The girl is very cute (and clearly aware of it), but the WAY she sings makes me fucking cringe.

    It would not surprise me in the least if some established artist gives her a chorus, uses the one take out of 452 that has the PERFECT amount of vocal fry, auto-tunes it, and… oh yes, puts her in his video.

    Ahh, the sound of a snowflake.

  32. Not one but two Minter comments. Made my week. A bonus finding out he was a Horn. Back when men were men at UT. Football. General Franks. Farrah Fawcett. Sigh.

  33. Someone should ask my Dad how he feels about not getting laid the last 30 years to a feminist woman. What a joke.

  34. If you don’t want your wife or girlfriend bitching about why you don’t help me in the house, don’t be lazy and get out of the couch, turn off the playstation and hit the gym, or star learning something new.

  35. Doing cleaning, washing the dishes, cooking, and keeping shit nice is a good skill for any individual to learn to do effectively. I also, ironically, agree with the nice guy shaming that this shouldn’t be a tool to get sex. It has to be done because the man wants it and for no other reason. If a woman tries to shame you to do shit that you feel is unnecessary (and if it is, indeed unnecessary) just end the relationship right there. No woman is entitled to any part of the housework or child-raising. She has to own her own relationship.

    Doing a masculine, healthy hobby (working out, woodworking, auto repair, house construction, being the breadwinner) is almost completely necessary. However, effectively taking on traditional female roles in the kitchen or with children ups your total value with which to select a female. If you can juggle more responsibilities you value, that shit which you’ve got covered becomes less valuable in potential women you’re interested in. You can work harder on an LTR with a 7 or 8 rather than work on a 5 or a 6 with housewife qualities.

  36. I think Diane Mapes’ anecdote, proves, if anything, that beta game only works when it is both spontaneous, and broadcasted for other women to see (thereby garnering their envy and admiration towards the gf/wife of the man in question), which is pretty much in line with what redpill game teaches

  37. I was organizing my bureau today when my live in commented, “you’re so sexy when you are cleaning!” I replied with “bullshit”, but then later noticed that her attempt at conditioning was partially successful. I felt like cleaning with more vigor.

    I gues whenever a woman sees any behavior that she wants to motivate, she’ll claim that it’s sexy. Of course that has no relation whatsoever to how sexually aroused the behavior actually makes her.

  38. “So the moral of this story is, as always, base your assessments on a woman’s behavior – NEVER on her words. Any woman telling you you look hot in an apron or she loves how you pee sitting down is selling you something.”

    Hahaha. Classic.

  39. Rollo, consider the 2008 Mapes article as a shit test.

    What was the response from men?

    What does that make the 2013 Mapes article?

  40. Pingback: Mutiny |
  41. Men….draw a line in the sand when it comes to house work, chores, duties, etc… I take care of everything outside of the house plus fixing anything on the inside. I leave the cleaning (inside) to the woman (i.e. dishes, laundry, etc…).

    If a woman wants someone else to help with cleaning, then she needs to find a woman. Now, I’m not talking about the occasional hand that you may lend (during a large dinner, Thanksgiving, etc…)…I’m talking everyday activities.

    I change the oil in the lawnmower….she washes the dishes.

    It’s that simple.

  42. Pingback: Betas In Waiting |
  43. This is going to be my first comment on this site, which I have been reading in the last 3 months now. My own unplugging started through a shock 8 months ago, but I didn´t find the manosphere until about 3 months ago. Curiously, I started all the self improvement stuff on my own, but understanding the intersexual dynamics explained here helps to get to (and through) the next phases. Ever since I try to imply all the principles on my life, which is not always as easy as the theory sounds.

    My story short: married to a college love, having 3 kids (now age 14, 12, 6) I woke up one day finding that my wife cheated on me a few years ago (she ended that relationship on her own, I think the guy was not that great afterall) and I am in a miserable role of a possibly disposable husband. I recognised I had a few years of alpha-life prior to marrying, my wife being a chick I picked up almost effortlessly, making her cheat with me on her back-to-the-day-fiance. It all started out good, but I got terribly betaised, and found myself just before the last minute. I made a few decisions and I am trying to reclaim my own life ever since, with surprisingly fast initial results, even for me.
    I decided I do not want a divorce. In many ways it would have been better, but it would have left me a financial cripple for the next 20 years, without a chance to be a real father to my kids – very, very bad options. I also thought that rebooting the relationship is actually not a hopeless enterprise, and by now I know I was right (at least the dripping wet sex we are having the last few months proves it). I am trying to start spinning plates and learning game outside our marriage at the same as well, but that is another story. I didn´t tell my wife anything, (if you would ask her, she would tell you something like „my husband had sort of a burn-out/midlife crises the last years but he is recovering somehow and we have a lot of fun lately“) but I am trying to turn around conciously but covertly the dynamic of our relationship .

    And that is where coreplay comes in.
    Like I said, I became the worst text-book beta you can imagine. The difficult task I had (or still have) was how to turn around this miserable situation into 1.) me reclaiming my role of the (family-)alpha 2.)not declaring my intentions overtly to my wife („he just got it“) 3.)preventing her freaking out and excepting (or even embracing) her new(or old?) submissive role (which I am sure she is unconsciously longing for the whole time).

    First, against all logic, I started out doing even more cores.
    Actually, I took almost the whole household over (despite having a 40 hours/week job, her working only 25 hours/week). I did already do a lot of stuff, but then for a few weeks, I did almost everything. It was a little strange and unnatural, but she enjoyed it. Now it was not her saying stuff like „can you please put the laundry in the washing mashine, 40°C, white colours, but no bleach“ or „can you do the dishes, I am tired“ or „this room looks like a mess, can you vacuum please, I already did the other one“, but I just did it on my own. Doing a lot alone, I started do decide, which laundry is going to be next, when what needs to be cleaned, when is time do go buy some groceries, took over the logistics of the after-school-activities of the kids. If she asked „can you do this-or-that“ my answer was „eh, I did it yesterday already, didn´t you notice?“ She was reliefed and thought, what a great husband™¬ I am, but I actually had a plan. I didn´t want to do more cores, I wanted to turn around the chain of command and take over controll but without a revolution or a declaration.
    After just a few weeks I had the feeling I have the overview and the controll of our entire household. I started to give out instructions. Since I knew, what was to be done and when, and I had the overview, I could just start distributing the tasks, first on the kids, then of course, on my wife as well. Now I am the one, giving out the instructions what is to do. I remind her of things, even on her own stuff, trying to treat her like a child I am responsible for. At the same time I reduced my part of doing cores as well to a healthy share, whithout her noticing that I am actually doing less cores then before my awakening. Just the opposite, she is loving how her husband „acts so responsible these days“.

    Don´t misunderstand me: these measures are definitely NOT the things that she finds sexy and put our sex life back on track, but I believe these are an important station on my way of killing the beta. I have no illusions anymore, I am not actually sure, our marriage can be saved or is worth saving and I am sure it can not be what it could have been, but I decided that I might as well give it a try (I mean she is still a great fuck afterall) and I had to start somewhere on the battle front of the cores. If I was right, only time will tell.

  44. No one ever became sexy or was rewarded with good sex by doing chores. To tell you the truth, that’s why the romance is often better before marriage – there are no mundanities to drag it down.

    Even in the cases where it is claimed that chores are sexy, in fact it’s not the work itself that attracts, it’s the way one’s physicality is expressed by doing so. That’s why sports stars and actors are attractive – their expression of physicality and style is the male equivalent of a woman revealing her beauty. And this is why nerds aren’t attractive.

    One thing I have observed is that women as a rule always mix up cause and effect. They cannot deduct and pinpoint the root cause as well as a man can.

  45. Seems like the lust out of the fact that the rest of men didn’t wash the dishes. Definitely eye opening.

  46. Whilst doing chores to curry favour with a woman will never work, doing them with the masculine mindset of ‘getting shit done’ is attractive to women. It would be better she does it, or hired help does it though.

Speak your mind

%d bloggers like this: