Choreplay

Gardening

One of the more entertaining debates I’ve had in my post-red pill awareness has been discussing the issue of men doing more “chores around the house” so as to more equitably distribute domestic duties amongst couples. The operative beneath this canard is that a more idealized state of gender neutralized bliss can be attained in a couple if only the male partner would feel it incumbent upon himself to assume chores that the female partner feels she’s entirely overburdened with.

Hmmm,..this presents a quandary for the Feminine Imperative; how would a Strong Independent Woman® motivate her live-in lover (sometimes known as ‘husbands’) to pick up the domestic job slack? Why of course, resort to the strategy that worked so well in convincing him to monogamous commitment – bait him with the obligation promise of unrestricted less restricted sex! It’s so simple in its form, so elegant in its function,..enter Diane Mapes’ Choreplay.

Gals make passes at guys who wash glasses.

I had a party not too long ago where a funny thing happened. One of the guests — a 30-something, single straight guy — came out to the kitchen and volunteered to do my dishes. “That way you won’t be stuck with a huge mess after everyone leaves,” he said, filling the sink with hot, soapy water.

As he started scrubbing wine glasses, I glanced over at my guests. Every woman in the room was staring at him with what can only be described as pure, unadulterated lust.

Behold the appeal of the dishy man.

Yes, that’s right gentlemen, Roissy had it all wrong, in girl-world washing the dishes is the undiscovered catalyst for ‘gina tingles. Athol Kay and his MAP? Get the fuck outta here, it’s vacuuming and dusting that inspire “what can only be described as pure, unadulterated lust.”

Side Note: Have a look at the date this article was published (2/13/2008, just before Valentines day) it’ll be important when we get to today’s bonus round.

Are there any benefits, aside from soulful glances and the satisfaction of a sparkling clean floor, that exist for men who share the load (laundry and otherwise)?

That’s hard to say, although there are some interesting indicators. A recent survey by Parenting Magazine found that “choreplay,” i.e., husbands pitching in around the house, was what put 15 percent of moms in the mood.

Ooh, a whole 15%?! Would this mean the other 85% were turned off?

You know, I’ve been married for over 16 years now and in that time, on occasion, I’ve performed many domestic duties for no other reason than it was a necessity. I have changed my daughter’s diaper, I have cleaned toilets, I’ve done laundry, I’ve vacuumed, etc. However, in 16 years never have I had my wife be consumed with an uncontrollable lust to give me a spontaneous blow job or pin me down on the kitchen floor, tear my pants off and ride me to glory after my having put away the dishes. Neither have I ever heard the words, “damn, you looked so hot ironing my blouse yesterday, fuck me you stud, fuuuuhhck MEEE!!” proceed from her lips while in the throes of passion.

And in the interest of being fair, I’ve never been turned on, nor do I consider it foreplay with my wife, when she’s the one doing the chores. I have been greatly turned on by the sight of her in lingerie; sweat pants, a t-shirt and a toilet bowl brush in hand? Not so much.

However some of the most memorable sexual experiences I’ve had with her (and other women in my sexual past) have come after I’ve done something particularly masculine or I performed well doing something that benefitted me with a lot of social proof. For instance, my wife seems to like sex after I’ve had a good heavy lifting day at the gym. She also seems very amorous after social engagements I bring her along to for my work.

So the moral of this story is, as always, base your assessments on a woman’s behavior – NEVER on her words. Any woman telling you you look hot in an apron or she loves how you pee sitting down is selling you something. It’s up to you to determine what she’s selling.

Ah, but what is she selling?

Research conducted by Laurie A. Rudman, a psychologist at Rutgers University, also seems to point to a hot soapy love connection. Her study, recently published in the journal Sex Roles, looked at feminism’s impact on romantic relationships. Among other things, she found that men with feminist partners reported both more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction.

“We didn’t ask who was doing the dishes or taking care of the kids,” says Rudman. “We asked broadly about the quality of the relationship and about the agreement of gender roles in the relationship. But we did find that if men were with a feminist woman, they had more sexual satisfaction and their relationship was more stable. Men benefit from having a feminist partner.”

Oh ho ho, that’s it! Feminist women get hot seeing their men in an apron, and boy dothey ever benefit. So you see guys, you’re going about this all wrong; you benefit from locking down a feminist woman and embracing the gender neutral sexiness of traditionally feminine household chores.

Back to the Future!

Ah, 2008 what heady time it was, but unfortunately I need to step back into my phone booth DeLorean time machine and fast-forward to January 30th, 2013 where, not to be outdone by her 2008 assertions of Choreplay, the exact same media has a new take on intergender chore assignments. Take it away 2013 feminine imperative Diane Mapes:

Hey, fellas, put down those vacuum cleaners and pull out the lawn mowers.

Married men may think helping around the house may up their hotness quotient in the bedroom, but what really matters is the type of chore. Heterosexual married men who spend their time doing yard work, paying bills and changing the oil have more sex than husbands who spend their time cooking, cleaning and shopping, according to a new study on the subject of housework and sex.

“Households with a more traditional gender division of labor report higher sexual frequency than households with less traditional gender divisions of labor,” says Sabino Kornrich, lead author of a study that appears in the February issue of the American Sociological Review. “Housework is something that people use as a very important way to express gender, masculinity and femininity. We weren’t surprised to think that sex might be more tied to this type of gender expression.”

So, let me get this straight, the yard work, manual labor, auto maintenance, home remodeling and pressure washing hotness that I replaced with soapy dish washing, ironing boards and laundry detergent was actually what inspired “what can only be described as pure, unadulterated lust?” Whoda thunk?

You mean to tell me all that shit I ate in 2008 about being a neanderthal 50’s throwback for expressing that Men’s work is what women really find sexy was all just horse shit slung from the feminine imperative?

I realize I’m goofing on this, but I remember reading Mapes’ first article in 2008 and started thinking about why a man doing “woman’s work” would be in any way sexy or at all arousing for a woman. As usual it’s always a good start to reverse gender roles in order to get a better understanding of any social contrivance or perceived “double standard”. The equalist mindset can never logically stand up against this reversal.

Would a guy get sexually excited to see a woman doing traditionally masculine housework? In 16 years of marriage I’ve never had my wife do, much less offer to do, things around the house (on a regular basis) that I assumed as a husband from day one. I get the dirty jobs. I mow the lawn, clean up the dog shit in the back yard, I have trash duty, clean the pool/spa, install the nice new acrylic sinks and marble countertops she picks out, plunge the toilets when they back up, install the garbage disposal, fix what I can on her car, wash the cars,…you get the idea. And of all those (with the exception of maybe seeing her wash my car in a thong bikini) I can’t say as I’d get turned on by seeing my wife do any of that. So what is the intrinsic appeal of seeing a guy doing the dishes Mr. & Mrs. Gender Equalist?

The role reversal of putting a man into a traditionally feminine role doesn’t have real arousal value. It has a power value for sure, in that it temporarily casts a man in a submissive role, but after the novelty of having a guy perform those behaviors repeatedly wears off, does it still have that arousal value? My wife doesn’t wear lingerie for me every night, but she does so often enough that the arousal value of it still turns me on. However doing the dishes is something so mundane and so monotonous that any thrill that might be associated with it wears thin in a month.

The Mapes Effect

I can’t end this article without drawing attention to what I’m sure most of my readers are getting about the 5 year shift in attitude with regards to these articles. It’s easy to pass these off as some flighty progression in feminine self-understanding, but remember Diane Mapes draws a paycheck for writing these articles in well read media sources. She’s a media arm of the feminine imperative.

What we’re graphically witnessing is the fluidity with which the feminine imperative can realign itself socially to better affect its propagation. You see in 2008 the message to men (that resonated with women) was Fem-Up; stop being so insecure in your masculinity and do the dishes and laundry – the payoff will be more sexual access. In 2013 the message to men (again resonating with women) is Man-Up; stop being such a house frau and get out int the yard and mow – the payoff will be more sexual access.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that this is just another example of women’s fickle duplicity. A lot has happened socially in the five years between these articles; the End of Men, Kate Bolick, feminine triumphalism, men “checking out”, kidults, ‘late term’ spinsters unable to find “acceptable” men, etc. and a whole slew of other gender shifts occurred between both these articles. What Mapes’ most recent article represents is the feminine imperative reworking an outdated feminine social convention to accommodate women’s Man-Up needs in 2013 that it actively extinguished itself in the Fem-Up years leading up to 2008.

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theprivateman
Guest

This is completely off topic but I don’t have your direct email. This event is in South Florida and is getting some traction. Your attendance would be remarkable. http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/spring-break-2013-manosphere-meetup-update/

M3
Guest

I ate the bullshit with a smile on my face as i became the ‘kitchen bitch’. At the same time… I did not expect my wife to help out in the role swap by having her paint the living room, fix the computer problems, clean the potty patch on the balcony, or do any reno’s around the place. I had my kitchen bitch ass handed to me. Never again, no matter how much tripe feminist cunts spew about how they now do the boatload of work in relationships by having to work at the office pushing paper all day AND… Read more »

M3
Guest

Also, feminism put out the canard that men ‘cant pull their weight’ when it comes to doing shit around the house. They don’t know how to change diapers. They don’t know how to fold the laundry properly. They don’t know how to arrange the bedspread properly. And everytime they try, they just make more work when the woman has to ‘redo’ all the mistakes hapless hubby made when attempting to help. Did it ever cross their mind that MAYBE THEIR WAY ISN’T CODIFIED AS THE CORRECT ONE? Perhaps my way of folding shirts is more efficient and space saving. Perhaps… Read more »

RaisedBeta
Guest
RaisedBeta

Rollo, dead on once again. The women who “lust” for the man maid aren’t married to Alpha’s. As a recovering Beta, I have played the dishwasher guy part way to many times. Yes you get the “oh what a nice guy”, but only now recently have I realized that it doesn’t cause the gina tingles, especially my wifes. I was text book beta, working on changing that. thanks for the enlightenment….

Wilson
Guest
Wilson

I think the looks of “lust” that the women were give at the guy doing the dishes were the same kind they give shoes. Doesn’t mean they are going to stick the shoes in their vaginas.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

You know what’s interesting about this convention is that it is essentially selling the obligation of sex for services rendered. In the most binary sense the message is ‘do the dishes, laundry, women’s work etc., and your wife will want to fuck you.’ Now compare and contrast this message with the brutal shaming of the Nice Guys of OK Cupid. The message those guys took to heart was essentially the same – do nice things / favors for women and you will be rewarded with sex. It absolutely drives me fucking insane to read Hugo Schwyzer ridicule men for expected,… Read more »

sunshinemary
Guest

Ha, most Christian marital advice still exhorts husbands to help with dishes and cleaning to get their wives in the mood. But we’re always a few years behind in accepting general societal trends, so no doubt the lawn-mowing/manly chores advice will be hitting the Christian market next year.

[Well at least you can console yourself with the knowledge that Real Housewives Reality TV is now Christian Kosher®
http://www.npr.org/2013/01/25/170168866/lives-of-praise-lives-in-progress-on-the-sisterhood%5D

The dude
Guest

Rollo, I want you to write for my site. I am taking it online soon. How can I get a hold of you?

Mark
Guest
Mark

Does a woman like Mapes know what she’s writing is nuts while she’s writing it or is the cognitive dissonance just that strong?

This shit never ceases to astound me.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

leave me an emal address to respond to on my About page.

texaust
Guest
texaust

Re. car washing:

Stingray
Guest

is the cognitive dissonance just that strong?

Yes, it’s just that strong.

Grit
Guest

Why are feminists so obsessed with the kitchen? Boggles the mind. I thought they left it fifty years ago.

itsme
Guest
itsme

men tend to be better around the kitchen than today’s women anyway.

funny and tragic at the same time.

Wudang
Guest
Wudang

what can only be described as pure, unadulterated lust.”

Ha, NO! But I am sure there was cooing for what seemed to be what they thought they wanted. But you can almost always hear in the voice of women when they coo for what they thing they want and what they really want. I´ve found that if you listen to women when they say something blue pill and when they say something red pill there are usually distinct differences in voice tone and body language. Start to look for it yourself.

BPaul.
Guest
BPaul.

Rollo,

Regarding your comment, I think context is important. If laid out on a timeline Hugo is just asserting TamingTheAlpha.

Not that he is correct, just that would be his defense.

rgoltn
Guest
rgoltn

Being married now 18 years, I attest to many of Rollo’s experiences. Sometimes, you have to pitch in and help out of necessity. However, our chores do fall along the lines of male-female roles. My wife looks to me to handle the house-technology-yard stuff (although she enjoys the immediate satisfaction of making the house look great – even then, she plants the flowers and handle the big work) and she does a lot of cleaning and laundry. Still, every guy / husband / father must learn how to clean clothes and cook; period. I also have found that my wife… Read more »

Davy
Guest

Is it possible to frame housework in a dominant way and direct her. I am great at managing time and have strong OCD and cleaning is therapeutic to me. Possible to keep the tingles alive? I game, fix cars, dominate socially for the most part

Senior Beta
Guest
Senior Beta

Disappointed no Minter comment yet. But Wilson’s will keep me laughing for a day or two.

michaeltx
Guest
michaeltx

@Davy
I’m the same way. As bizarre as it sounds I will Windex the windows, mop and vacuum because it reduces my stress. I’ll get home after stressing at my business and do this sometimes. However, I don’t take well to being asked to do any household chores – I only want to do them when I’m stressed out or being OCD.

On a side note, I’m 33 and still do not know how to wash clothes. But I can fix cars and smoke some mean ribs!

michaeltx
Guest
michaeltx

LMAO @ Wilson!! hilarious

M3
Guest

“It absolutely drives me fucking insane to read Hugo Schwyzer ridicule men for expected, obligated sex in lieu of favors and niceties, yet he would likely agree with the Choreplay trope that men could anticipate a sexual response for dropping their masculine imperative and do ‘women’s work’ in exchange for sex.” Because men helping with chores facilitates the ‘gender equality’ feminism strives for to allow them to do ‘paid’ work in cubicles vs. oppressive work at home. The lure of sex is just that. The carrot. They’ve also trying to condition/convince women that they will find it sexy to see… Read more »

M3
Guest

In other words, there is no gender equality to be derived from giving out sex for ‘niceguy’ behavior, even tho they enjoy the freedbies that come with.

Fucking leeches.

Jeremy
Guest
Jeremy

In fairness to the 2008 article writer, pressure-washing the dishes can be very manly.

Jeremy
Guest
Jeremy

@itsme

men tend to be better around the kitchen than today’s women anyway.

funny and tragic at the same time.

This is the truth. I’ve not met any women who can cook as good as any of the 3 of the male roommates I’ve had, and only a very select few who cook better than I do. Also true about keeping the kitchen clean. The few women I’ve seen who like to cook generally leave a disaster in the kitchen when done.

Hyperion
Guest
Hyperion

Nice rewriting of an already agreed upon contract (marriage) on her part. Being married should already have created an obligation on her part to have sex with her husband. But that would hand over the only asset she has to bargain with. So, she’s unilaterally rewriting the contract that they both already agreed to; backing out of her obligation (sexual access), while holding her husband to his (provisioning). This allows her to sell her sexual access twice; once to secure provisioning through marriage, and then again in a tit for tat way to extract favors (chores, or what have you).… Read more »

gunslingergregi
Guest
gunslingergregi

if your the man you shouldn’t really be doing shit around the house but relaxing and what you want to do. I don’t do the housework I also don’t do the traditional shit either and when i want sex i get that too. really important shit i do. REALLY important things. like ok if it sounds like someone breaking into our house on the outside i’ll go out with a knife in my hand and my chick like wtf you just gonna walk out there. Yea i am. Or the plumbers doing some major work and i’ll watch them like… Read more »

GT66
Guest
GT66

My ex and I once got into a fight over chores after she had nagged me to do more around the house for the millionth time. Of course, the chores she was talking about were *her* chores. Noticeably absent was mowing the lawn, car maintenance, appliance repair, house maintenance and the like. When I mentioned that she left those out, her response was classic female hamster, “Well you *like* doing that stuff so they don’t count as chores.” My response, “I don’t hate doing those things but I can certainly think of things I’d rather be doing than laying on… Read more »

William
Guest
William

@ Rollo

“Now compare and contrast this message with the brutal shaming of the Nice Guys of OK Cupid. The message those guys took to heart was essentially the same – do nice things / favors for women and you will be rewarded with sex.”

I’ve said the same thing when the nice guy articles were popping up.
Society has no problem telling men how to act to receive sex/relationships from woman, but have the men complain about not receiving anything and people lose their minds.

DeNihilist
Guest
DeNihilist

itsme, so true, most men are way better cooks nowadays then the ladies.

YaReally
Guest
YaReally

Great analysis. Part of why I don’t have an interest in getting married is that girls don’t really bring anything to the table anymore. Not many of them know how to cook any better than I do because they were microwaving TV dinners and eating fast-food like me. Not many of them know how to sew because they have enough disposable income to just buy new stuff instead of fix old stuff or make their own shit. Not many of them are any better at cleaning than I am because they can afford a cleaner or they’ve been brought up… Read more »

Mark Minter
Guest

Yeah, well it will be a while before the Fem-Up thing loses momentum. I listen to KVRX on the radio in Austin. KVRX is student radio from the University of Texas. It is extremely free form. The DJs are UT students and they play what they want and it is extremely diverse but the general theme is the station slogan “None of the hits all of the time”. Some of shows are interview formats. Remember that these are Radio, Television, and Film students. The show that was just on was the host interviewing these students about this supposedly huge craze… Read more »

Mark Minter
Guest

Also this was very good use of the word Canard in this post. “The operative beneath this canard is that a more idealized state of gender neutralized bliss can be attained in a couple if only the male partner would feel it incumbent upon himself to assume chores that the female partner feels she’s entirely overburdened with.” From dictionary.com Definition of CANARD a : a false or unfounded report or story; especially : a fabricated report b : a groundless rumor or belief Examples of CANARD The book repeats some of history’s oldest canards. The widespread canard that every lawyer… Read more »

DeNihilist
Guest
DeNihilist

Interesting synergy, Had Enough Therapy, same topic today –

http://stuartschneiderman.blogspot.ca/2013/01/does-feminism-work.html

Ton
Guest
Ton

Part of why I have no interest in marrying for a second time is how similar the overwhelming majority of women are behave like my ex wife. I’ve had the same argument about chores as GT 66 did with my ex wife and my only long term girl friend since the divorce. Plus it’s a common complaint/ battle with the majority of married men I know. The main reason I will never remarry is the divorce laws. Hard to reup for it once you stand in front of a judge and get reduced to the legal level of a mule… Read more »

taterearl
Guest
taterearl

The only appeal of marriage anymore is children. Combine the fact they are the biggest weapon in divorce cases and most women would be/are horrible mothers that appeal isn’t all that great either.

If/when they ever come out with robots or artifical wombs women are really going to be up a creek without a paddle.

Kate
Guest
Kate

The choreplay concept of doing women’s chores is only effective if its applied like the Skittles principle. If a man is doing *his* chores, like the ones Rollo listed above, that ought to be more than enough. The dishwasher might have gotten the women hot and bothered initally, but, odds are he benefited from no such subsequent adulation.

Big dog numero uno
Guest
Big dog numero uno

This blog is something I look forward to each day. The comments are almost as good as the blog entries. Keep up the great work and thanks for the enlightenment.

Snoeperd
Guest
Snoeperd

is the cognitive dissonance just that strong? Haha i was thinking exactly the same thing. Still can’t believe it. How am I supposed to read people and see if theyre not bullshitting me when they themselves believe the shit theyre telling and when I call them out on it I am the asshole! Same when i just don’t believe people anymore when they state that theyre going to make “some change” or “will never work with that person again” or “I would never do that”. If i say i dont believe them then i get socially ostracized. It’s just that… Read more »

Nathan
Guest
Nathan

Rollo- Would you please do a post on plate spinning (less figurative plate spinning and more actually juggling women) and valentine’s day or point me to some good resources? I am curious as to how to manage this day when I have 4 girls currently in play. I can get away with saying “I don’t do valentine’s day” but I imagine there is a better, more pro-active strategy I can use to spend the day with the best one but the others (which are promising) in rotation. [Plate Theory. Start at the bottom and read up. You know I have… Read more »

Tam the Bam
Guest
Tam the Bam

Big upvote on all the stuff you lot are saying about “modern” girls being completely useless at anything like that, even the stuff in the box next to the box marked “Chores”. Cook? You must be joking. Pasta and a jar of sauce is hardcore to them. I’ve had one even express bewilderment that it was possible just to get a football-sized chunk of topside and toss it in the oven with some veg, have a drink, and then pull it all out and start with the linen and candles and all that stuff. Thought it came sliced. And freaked… Read more »

D-Man
Guest
D-Man

Ahh, the “vocal fry”, I’ve noticed it but wasn’t aware it had a name, thanks Mark. Annoying, as is the recent tendency for girls to insert phantom “s” and “z” sounds after consonants. Think about pronouncing the word “do” like “dzou”, or “to” like “tsou”, and you get what I mean. These vocalizations, like the fry and the “street-ifying” trends, are all projections of attitude. They’re a way of saying: “I’m so hot I can get away with being a bitch”. They come off as inordinately pleased with themselves, even if they’re doing it to cover up insecurity. Classic hallmark… Read more »

Senior Beta
Guest
Senior Beta

Not one but two Minter comments. Made my week. A bonus finding out he was a Horn. Back when men were men at UT. Football. General Franks. Farrah Fawcett. Sigh.

laf
Guest
laf

Someone should ask my Dad how he feels about not getting laid the last 30 years to a feminist woman. What a joke.

Renegado
Guest
Renegado

If you don’t want your wife or girlfriend bitching about why you don’t help me in the house, don’t be lazy and get out of the couch, turn off the playstation and hit the gym, or star learning something new.

YaReally
Guest
YaReally

Love vocal fry. Would bang that singing chick with the force of 10,000 suns.

ProofNeeded
Guest
ProofNeeded

Doing cleaning, washing the dishes, cooking, and keeping shit nice is a good skill for any individual to learn to do effectively. I also, ironically, agree with the nice guy shaming that this shouldn’t be a tool to get sex. It has to be done because the man wants it and for no other reason. If a woman tries to shame you to do shit that you feel is unnecessary (and if it is, indeed unnecessary) just end the relationship right there. No woman is entitled to any part of the housework or child-raising. She has to own her own… Read more »

Adam
Guest
Adam

Damn that singing girl. I’d fry her vocals with my seed ya digggggg.

shiggy donatello
Guest
shiggy donatello

I think Diane Mapes’ anecdote, proves, if anything, that beta game only works when it is both spontaneous, and broadcasted for other women to see (thereby garnering their envy and admiration towards the gf/wife of the man in question), which is pretty much in line with what redpill game teaches

xsplat
Guest

I was organizing my bureau today when my live in commented, “you’re so sexy when you are cleaning!” I replied with “bullshit”, but then later noticed that her attempt at conditioning was partially successful. I felt like cleaning with more vigor.

I gues whenever a woman sees any behavior that she wants to motivate, she’ll claim that it’s sexy. Of course that has no relation whatsoever to how sexually aroused the behavior actually makes her.

3rd Millenium Men
Guest

“So the moral of this story is, as always, base your assessments on a woman’s behavior – NEVER on her words. Any woman telling you you look hot in an apron or she loves how you pee sitting down is selling you something.”

Hahaha. Classic.

Anonymous Reader
Guest
Anonymous Reader

Rollo, consider the 2008 Mapes article as a shit test.

What was the response from men?

What does that make the 2013 Mapes article?

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[…] it was responsible for the negative outcomes. Another example is in Diane Mapes retrofitting her Choreplay message to align with the negative outcomes of a feminine imperative social push that it created […]

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[…] time and observe the meta-game being played by the Feminine Imperative. I did something similar in Choreplay; comparing and contrasting the five year reinvention of a feminine-operative social convention by […]

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[…] Betas like this generally end up as the infamous emotional tampon, or the Surrogate Boyfriend to a woman who’s banging the most Alpha Man her looks can attract. However, this appeal-to-reason rationale filters into other aspects of men’s lives. The logical progression for John would be to better identify with the women (really the feminine imperative) he hopes to bang in the future – embody the feminine prerequisites, get the intimate approval. For married or monogamous men this appeal-to-reason may come as a mistaken belief that doing more chores around the house will lead to more (or any) sex… Read more »

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[…] Choreplay […]

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[…] nature of sexual relations with men they’re screeching about recently. It’s the Choreplay fallacy on a meta scale – do more around the house, play into the equalitarian schema women […]

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[…] Choreplay: 5 years ago the same female author encourages men to do more dishes and help a woman out with her […]

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[…] Another example of this conflict can be found in my essay on Choreplay. […]

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[…] Un autre exemple de ce conflit se trouve dans mon essai sur Choreplay. […]

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[…] the notion of a mutual (though nominally lesser) inclusiveness works on much the same level as Choreplay. If a man “plays more fairly and evenly” the expected reciprocation should be a reward […]

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[…] ‘turns’ off, or sex is used as an intermittent reward for desired behavior (i.e. Choreplay). Sex becomes a utility; a positive reinforcer for her Beta increasing his provisioning capacity […]

Driver
Guest
Driver

Men….draw a line in the sand when it comes to house work, chores, duties, etc… I take care of everything outside of the house plus fixing anything on the inside. I leave the cleaning (inside) to the woman (i.e. dishes, laundry, etc…).

If a woman wants someone else to help with cleaning, then she needs to find a woman. Now, I’m not talking about the occasional hand that you may lend (during a large dinner, Thanksgiving, etc…)…I’m talking everyday activities.

I change the oil in the lawnmower….she washes the dishes.

It’s that simple.

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[…] study discussed is a few years old (and has been covered elsewhere) but a reminder is […]

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[…] to belabor Sandberg yet again (she has been hocking the tired out Choreplay meme recently), but this is essentially the outline of the script we’re reading in this […]

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[…] authority, redefine it as respect, teach him to pee sitting down and share in his part of the choreplay, and well, the world is bound to be a better more cooperative place […]

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[…] for you ladies, your Modern Man believes in the fantasy that is Choreplay so thoroughly he’ll forego using a modern dishwasher to wash the dishes by hand so […]

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[…] Source: Choreplay […]

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[…] assumptions about men expecting sex for niceties in an era where women exploit and advertise that men doing more chores and making women’s lives easier will lead to […]

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[…] First off, let me tell what NOT to do. DO NOT ask for sex or complain about the lack of it. That will surely dry up every vagina in a 2 mile radius. Remember, you cannot negotiate desire. That includes the pathetic, “Chore Play”. […]

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[…] they want. I recently got into, yet again, another debate about the merits or non-merits of Choreplay and whether the idea of women getting hot for guys who do dishes was really a thing,…or not. This […]

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[…] behaviors on large amounts of steroids. For instance, when Rollo wrote his brilliant article “Choreplay” what is being set up by the women in the articles he quotes is a classic Skinnerian […]

rugby11
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rugby11
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[…] do well in. He might change his beliefs or accede to better identifying with his wife, or do more chores around the home, help with the kids, arrange more ‘date nights’. He might go to marriage counseling or […]

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[…] do well in. He might change his beliefs or accede to better identifying with his wife, or do more chores around the home, help with the kids, arrange more ‘date nights’. He might go to marriage counseling or […]

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[…] says and takes it seriously is the greatest of fools. For example listen to magazines talking about how women want men who clean, or are sensitive, or who vote for whoever the magazine wants them to vote for. And so on and so […]

toubkal
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toubkal

This is going to be my first comment on this site, which I have been reading in the last 3 months now. My own unplugging started through a shock 8 months ago, but I didn´t find the manosphere until about 3 months ago. Curiously, I started all the self improvement stuff on my own, but understanding the intersexual dynamics explained here helps to get to (and through) the next phases. Ever since I try to imply all the principles on my life, which is not always as easy as the theory sounds. My story short: married to a college love,… Read more »

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[…] you, it’s me” into “it’s not you, it’s the time/circumstance/effort/need for help with the chores/phase of my mysterious woman-ness” that’s causing her lack of sexual desire.” […]

Sri
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Sri

No one ever became sexy or was rewarded with good sex by doing chores. To tell you the truth, that’s why the romance is often better before marriage – there are no mundanities to drag it down. Even in the cases where it is claimed that chores are sexy, in fact it’s not the work itself that attracts, it’s the way one’s physicality is expressed by doing so. That’s why sports stars and actors are attractive – their expression of physicality and style is the male equivalent of a woman revealing her beauty. And this is why nerds aren’t attractive.… Read more »