Male Sexual Response

This now cancelled show was the brainchild of the creators of Mate Check.

The short version of this is basically this is a “service” that tests (attorneys call this entrapment) a man’s fidelity by setting up an encounter with an attractive woman who approaches them in an effort to see if the man will ‘bite’ and seek out more intimate contact with her. Generally this service is paid for by insecure women involved in LTRs. I should also add that 100% of men so tested fail the test and pursue the attractive woman.

Salacious, stupid, and basically everything you’d expect from a FOX reality show, but also a very interesting social experiment. This is Social Matching Theory in practice. If you’re approached by a woman obviously not in (what you believe) is your “league” and she’s expressing blatant IOIs and approaches you, it’s much the same as the ‘Stripper Effect.’ Men are so accustomed to having to be the initiators and dealing with rejection (and potential rejection) that they’ll willingly pay for the attentions of an attractive woman giving them a $20 lap dance and this becomes physically and psychologically gratifying.

In this scenario, the element of plausibility is introduced (as a bait). You can say that these guys took the bait because they were already predisposed to do so because of their foundering relationships, but I’d argue that few men (if any according to the stats on this site) would turn down an exceptionally attractive and visibly sexually available woman if she were inclined to be as forward as to actively seek out a man and pursue him.

I’ve read psych experiments where attractive college age women approached men they’d never met on campus and proposed having sex with them after 20 minutes of converstaion. Close to 100% of the men accepted the offer (much like this service), but when an attractive college age man performed a similar experiment with women the acceptance rate was around 60%. I think that this service is playing to this very dynamic.

Now here’s a thought, do you suppose the ‘investigators’ at Mate Check get a picture of their mark and match him up with a girl they think he will believe he could get? I would think they’d have to have a variety of women “investigators” of varying levels of attractivness in order to allay suspicion. For instance, a hugely overweight guy (unless he’s very stupid, despreate or both) would be skeptical (at first) to believe that a stripper grade woman would thorw herself at him voluntarily. So I wonder if Mate Check matches like for like in attractiveness when running their scam?

Disinfecting Sunshine

Sunshine Mary think’s she’s busted some manosphere myth today in asserting (with entirely anecdotal points) that men don’t necessarily have to be hitched to a frigid or obese woman to be moved to cheat. I’m inclined to agree, however, those factors are what behavioral psychologists term Establishing Operations:

Establishing operations work by changing the reinforcement properties of a reinforcer. If a reinforcer is made to be more reinforcing, the consequence will be more desirable which should have a greater effect on eliciting the target behavior. Establishing operations for reinforcers make us want something more that we might have.

Ergo, hunger, thirst, and yes, sexual deprivation can be considered establishing operations, thus making satisfaction of those operation much more potent reinforcers.

For her part, I’m afraid that Mary’s isn’t going to like what crawls out from under the rock she’s just turned over. What she’s digging at here is the nature of the male sexual response, and as with most women, she expects that response to align with a feminine-centric interpretation of it. Women’s solipsistic nature predisposes them to define the male sexual response in ways that make sense to what their own response is.

As I stated in Women & Sex, until a woman lives in 12.5 to 17 times her present testosterone levels 24/7 she cannot ever understand male sexuality. And since she lives in a fem-centric reality (both personally and socially) her awareness and expectations of male sexuality is defined by the only terms she has a frame of reference for – female sexuality.

So it should come as no shock that women are bewildered (and disgusted) by a male sexual response that is incongruent with their own. They want to force fit it. In the Feminine Reality I stated:

For one gender to realize their sexual imperative the other must sacrifice their own. This is the root source of power the feminine imperative uses to establish its own reality as the normative one.

One of the reasons I repeatedly assert that women lack a fundamental appreciation for the sacrifices men make to facilitate their reality finds its roots in women’s lacking a male frame of reference. In general, Men are far more self-controlled than any woman can realistically understand. When we analyze the realities of the male sex response and the underlying biology that contributes to it, the control men exert over it is actually a triumph of evolved psychology and social directive.

As Men we take this control for granted because (for most) it’s a living state for us – even we don’t apprciate how controlled we really are over our sexual impulse. We live in a condition of controlling this drive, but the drive still motivates us.

Women are shocked that men are literally, neurologically wired to see them as sex objects. The parts of our brains that are attuned to using tools is stimulated when we see scantily dressed women. Women may be horrified by this, but one thing you will never hear them utter is a word of how astounding it is that men (largely) have such psychological self-control over it.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Spoos in August
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Arguably, the sublimation of the male sex drive is what made possible, and then created and maintained, the advanced technological system we currently inhabit. To paraphrase Jack Donovan, the “bonobo masturbation society” eliminates male drive to successfully compete by increasing sexual outlets. How many young men are happy to work part-time, live at home, and masturbate furiously to Internet porn? Men need less sexual self-control today, both because of lowered serum testosterone and the increased availability of sex; that may have unpleasant ramifications should the Six Sirens of the Sexual Apocalypse bring down the crumbling edifice that is the modern… Read more »

M3
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M3
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Very true. All of it. They cannot know, and never will know. Beyond the testosterone levels, the wiring, the scarcity. It doesn’t occur to them because in girl world, it doesn’ work that way. And realize no man is ‘horrified’ when he see’s massive throngs of females all itching to slit each others throats and trample the bodies of their boyfriends as they go into a hyperventilating fit at the *idea* that they can possibly get Justin Timberlake or Beiber to notice them, much less touch them, much less take them backstage. No one is horrified when we realize that… Read more »

Ras Al Ghul
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Ras Al Ghul
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women are seen as tools.

On some level they do know this, why else would they refer to men as “tools”

taterearl
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taterearl
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“We live in a condition of controlling this drive, but the drive still motivates us.” While women only seem to see that drive makes men out to be “rapist pigs”…they never consider that same drive is where our creativity and competition comes from. That smartphone they have…came from that drive. The car they own…that drive. Any invention, advancement, medical cures…came from the drive. If it wasn’t for the drive, men would give up after the first rejection or first bit of adversity. The drive give us the motivation to do the best we can with the cards we’ve been given.… Read more »

MNL
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MNL
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About that Mate Check show and your comment,

I should also add that 100% of men so tested fail the test and pursue the attractive woman.

It’s probably better stated that,

100% of men so tested and that survived the video editing process fail the test and pursue the attractive women…

Men who pass the test just don’t make for very compelling reality TV–and don’t feed the female need for relationship drama.

…Though there is some truth the adage that men are only as faithful as their opportunities.

Kate
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Kate
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“…but I’d argue that few men (if any according to the stats on this site) would turn down an exceptionally attractive and visibly sexually available woman if she were inclined to be as forward as to actively seek out a man and pursue him.”

Can this be true? I thought this kind of thing was too aggressive for men to enjoy.

threealpha
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threealpha
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women lie, lie constantly, and mostly to themselves, That’s really where amused mastery comes from, watching them convince themselves that their feelings aren’t betraying them. In 1900, their feelings could be trusted, in 2013 they have debased and hidden from their true selves so much that all they have left is the need to convince themselves they aren’t seeing ghosts.

It’s sport for the well trained eye.

M
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M
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Something that occurs to me when I read about the sublimation of the male sex drive is that great societies who valued achievement all teach delayed gratification. The ability to delay gratification, or modulate the desire for pleasure to achieve long-term goals I think plays into the whole High Reward/Low Reward construct. It’s a useful lens.

Heywood Jablome
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Kate said:

Can this be true? I thought this kind of thing was too aggressive for men to enjoy.

Surely, you jest.

Mike C
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Mike C
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Top-notch post Rollo. As I stated in Women & Sex, until a woman lives in 12.5 to 17 times her present testosterone levels 24/7 she cannot ever understand male sexuality. And since she lives in a fem-centric reality (both personally and socially) her awareness and expectations of male sexuality is defined by the only terms she has a frame of reference for – female sexuality. So it should come as no shock that women are bewildered (and disgusted) by a male sexual response that is incongruent with their own. They want to force fit it. And THEY DON”T WANT TO… Read more »

deti
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deti
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Mike C, you unfaithful man, you!

Rollo, as you can see, over at SSM’s, Nova, Cail and I continued to battle it out in a vain effort to get the ladies to understand how easy it is for women to cheat; and how difficult is is for Joe Average to cheat.

Leap of a Beta
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“And THEY DON”T WANT TO KNOW. They don’t really want to understand the real nature of male sexuality and the male sexual response.” They don’t want to know the reality or the facts about it, but they are more than happy to subconsciously take advantage of it. Whether they blind themselves to the facts willingly or not, it’s still there when a guy buys her a drink, flowers, changes a tire, a cop pulls her over, a professor gives her a low grade that she’s able to ‘convince’ him to raise…. List goes on. They just want to wave a… Read more »

Glyn
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Glyn
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Ancient and true:

Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?
Proverbs 20:6

I’m glad I am not alone…..the shaming of testicles can get a bit tedious. Ram on Rollo, you made my day with this. smile

laf
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laf
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I’m very surprised you didn’t link this article in your main story. It is classic, woman hired someone to test husbands fidelity, husband ends up marrying the the woman hired.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/i-hired-a-honeytrap-to-catch-my-man-cheating-787468

Glyn
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Glyn
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Wudang
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Wudang
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Of course a man won`t necessary be loyal just because the wife is not fat or frigid. Having one stable partner and investing long term in those children and having some casual sex on the side from time to time or long term mistresses is a strategy many men with the option will take. Alphas of course more so. Its one of the forms the polygamous instinct comes out. This is why studies have found many men who cheat are happy with their relationships and don`t want to leave their wife. The number of men who would do that if… Read more »

Emma the Emo
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You know, I’m glad you emphasized the part about men being good at self-control in general. I was starting to feel the post was about how shitty it is.

I gotta say, it doesn’t hurt to think your man is attracted to someone else, if you are also attracted to someone else. Maybe being gay is better in that sense?.. If you have eyes only for your man, and his are all over the place, what to tell yourself?

3rd Millenium Men
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“We live in a condition of controlling this drive, but the drive still motivates us.”

Well summed up Rollo. Interesting post, thanks for your insights as always.

Stingray
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Stingray
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I continued to battle it out in a vain effort to get the ladies to understand how easy it is for women to cheat.

Explaining this to women who are married to alphas is going to be extremely difficult.

Dave
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Dave
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If women pride themselves on their empathy abilities and call men facile dolts who just don’t understand.,, and if rollis articles are even a quarter true..

Could this be projection?

Lets see what women have proven to be incompetent at:
An incapacity to comprehend the make sexual response
An inability to comprehend sacrifice
An inability to value abstract values like truth loyalty honor
An inability to show respect for no practical hobbies
An inability to lead when times get rough

I say Fukk it, men need to she’d their masculine labels and out nag the hags and keep throwing hissyfits saying ! U dont understand me!

chris
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chris
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“I’ve read psych experiments where attractive college age women approached men they’d never met on campus and proposed having sex with them after 20 minutes of converstaion. Close to 100% of the men accepted the offer (much like this service), but when an attractive college age man performed a similar experiment with women the acceptance rate was around 60%. I think that this service is playing to this very dynamic.” The experiments were done in the 70’s and 80’s and the results were actually 70% of men said yes to having sex and 0% of the women said yes to… Read more »

chris
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chris
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The actual data I refer to above is listed on page 50-51 of that article above.

chris
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chris
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“The experiments were done in the 70′s and 80′s and the results were actually 70% of men said yes to having sex and 0% of the women said yes to having sex.”

Unless of course there are recent studies done that I am unaware of.

imnobody
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imnobody
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Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think women are completely oblivious about this polygamous side of the male sexuality. They don’t know how extreme it is and how much control it takes to conform to monogamous society. However, they know that men are attracted to hot women even if they are married and the lady saying she would cry if somebody told her that her husband would like a hot young woman is a liar. But women feign ignorance because it is favorable for the feminine imperative to do so. If women recognized that polygamy is natural in… Read more »

3rd Millenium Men
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“The experiments were done in the 70′s and 80′s and the results were actually 70% of men said yes to having sex and 0% of the women said yes to having sex.”

Very interesting stuff, thanks for posting.

3rd Millenium Men
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“The experiments were done in the 70′s and 80′s and the results were actually 70% of men said yes to having sex and 0% of the women said yes to having sex.”

I wonder what those percentages would be now. Men would be 10-20% higher, women…. sadly much, much higher as well.

Rumour
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Rumour
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“Women are shocked that men are literally, neurologically wired to see them as sex objects. The parts of our brains that are attuned to using tools is stimulated when we see scantily dressed women. Women may be horrified by this, but one thing you will never hear them utter is a word of how astounding it is that men (largely) have such psychological self-control over it.”

Perhaps they have been conditioned to feel shocked and horrified by this, but they still dress provocatively in order to elicit the very thing that stirs that pot.

Stingray
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Stingray
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Women may be horrified by men literally seeing them as sex objects, but I need to ask, which women? Beautiful women may be shocked by the science (as in they are literally seen as tools) and they may feign resentment. However, in reality, they are at least partly happy about this. It gives them more power. It is the women who are not beautiful, or those who refuse to show off their outward appearance that are truly angry. It lessens their sense of control. Hence being indignant. It is a grab to regain the footing they have lost. Loading...

taterearl
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taterearl
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“Women are shocked that men are literally, neurologically wired to see them as sex objects. The parts of our brains that are attuned to using tools is stimulated when we see scantily dressed women.”

I’m just as equally shocked that women are neurologically wired to see men as ATM machines.

D-Man
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D-Man
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Women like to be able to shame men for not having enough control of our drive, but they still want it to be strong in us. If it’s weak, they’re disinterested, and it won’t matter how fucking correct you are. If we’re disconnected from it or if we repress it (as the social script dictates), this makes us easy marks… especially if we’ve channeled that drive into achievements. Only when we take ownership and refuse to apologize for our natural drive – spiting cultural code – are we begrudged a certain respect as equals (and the tingles begin). Women may… Read more »

DeNihilist
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DeNihilist
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Hired a chap years ago who had recently defected from Romania. He could not understand our western ways with the ladies. As he so succintly put it one day, “in Romania, if I see a woman on the street, and I want to fuck her, I just grab her, drag her into the bushes and fuck her.”

He also could not believe that woman here expected men to “kiss her pussy” or that they would want to “put my penis in their mouth. We are men, men fuck!”

Ace Haley
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Ace Haley
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“Only by contributing their own productivity (procreation) can balance be restored.”

There was NEVER any balance. What sex from a woman would be commensurate compensation to a man’s 50-70 hour work week?

Hell a lot of times, there isn’t even a PERFORMANCE. Many married men out there have more desperate looks on their faces than a single man could ever have. They’re working 50, 60 or 70 hours a week for sex that’s either not there or is on its way to being cut off completely.

D-Man
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D-Man
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“There was NEVER any balance. What sex from a woman would be commensurate compensation to a man’s 50-70 hour work week?”

Ha, yeah I thought I was stretching a bit too far with that.

But I can’t get around the notion that there’s no other way any of us would be here.

Thought-provoking stuff in this link:

http://therawness.com/the-one-drive-immortality-part-1/

Blackdragon
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Neither men nor women were ever designed for long term monogamy.

Men weren’t designed for monogamy at all. Of course they’ll cheat. They don’t need a “reason”.

Women are only designed for short term SERIAL monogamy. Six months with this guy, three years with that guy, one year with this other guy, etc. 82% of all divorces are filed by the female and two-thirds of bf/gf relationships are terminated by the female. This is why.

No one really wants LONG TERM monogamy. smile

DeNihilist
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DeNihilist
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Blackdragon, have to disagree.

Mark Minter
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Rollo, You need to add ReturnOfKings.com to your clicklist off blogs. This is Roosh’s newest endeavor and is more of a Magazine feel with contributions from various authors on a variety of subjects from culture, history, game, style etc. It is bumped its way into my top 5 reading list. I sort of think that Sunshine Mary is sort of like a climate change denier. They find a little bit of evidence that maybe CO2 isn’t the biggest culprit in Climate Change and throw out a headline stating something like “Climate Change Researchers Are Wrong”. OK, so soot is now… Read more »

taterearl
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taterearl
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“No one really wants LONG TERM monogamy.”

Well sure if you listen to your base desires.

However humans do have a thing called a soul. Which means we are called to rise above our base desires. You know who REALLY wants long term monogamy….children.

popups
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popups
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Just wondering…
as a young 22 yr old woman looking for a husband, what to do with this information?

Should I accept that he will cheat if he is the high smv man I am looking for?
And if so, how should that come up and when?
How does a girl know that he’ll stay emotionally invested in her?

popups
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popups
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meant to say as a pretty, 22 year old

Ton
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Ton
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What to do with the info? Be the kind of wife no man wants to leave at home on a Saturday night.

DeNihilist
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DeNihilist
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taterearl @ 8:04

plus one!

Athol Kay
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Athol Kay
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“As I stated in Women & Sex, until a woman lives in 12.5 to 17 times her present testosterone levels 24/7 she cannot ever understand male sexuality. And since she lives in a fem-centric reality (both personally and socially) her awareness and expectations of male sexuality is defined by the only terms she has a frame of reference for – female sexuality.” There’s not a direct line between total testosterone = total sex drive. Testosterone does vastly more in men than women. Women that go on testosterone replacement that are overdosed do become more sexualized, but they also start growing… Read more »

Kate
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Kate
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Has anyone seen the commercials for Axiron (an underarm testosterone drug) yet?

Jeremy
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Jeremy
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I was thinking about this aspect of men in general the other day. The standard female response when a man does something wrong and upsets a woman is one which is somewhat passive-aggressive and presumes the man “should have known” what he did was wrong. Many emotionally immature women (sorry ladies but that covers a lot of you) want their men to simply know how to treat them. However, when things go wrong, when their man starts to go cold, when they feel like they’re being cheated on, they’re absolutely clueless as to how they lost a man. So, what… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
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So, what is it ladies? Men are supposed to be mind-readers but it’s ok that you can’t keep the least complicated of the human race happy?

Actually women want men to Just Get It.

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/just-get-it/

xxxxx
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xxxxx
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………There’s not a direct line between total testosterone = total sex drive. Testosterone does vastly more in men than women. Women that go on testosterone replacement that are overdosed do become more sexualized, but they also start growing facial hair, have deepening voices, increase muscle mass etc… Yes, women to men transgenders who undergo testosterone therapy to complete the process of changing genders report higher aggresion levels, more drive and focus to get what they want, less tolerance for people or things that get in their way, more achievement oriented, competitiveness, greater self reliance and a more overt survival instinct.… Read more »

Jeremy
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Jeremy
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@Rollo I’m fairly new to the sphere, so I hadn’t seen that particular post. Your writing is, as always, excellent. As you said there: As I’ve written a thousand times, a cardinal truth of the universe is that genuine desire cannot be negotiated. The moment you tell your wife, your girlfriend, that you will exchange a behavior or attitude or belief or any other compromise for her desire you fundamentally change her organic desire into obligation. What she wants, what her hypergamy wants confirmation of, can never be explicated, it can only be demonstrated. If her desire is for you… Read more »

Case
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Case
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OT but,…
Rollo, wondering if you are following the news about Senator Menendez and the Dominican prostitute uproar.

dannyfrom504
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i love strip clubs. watching the girls dupe the idiots there while i’m number closing and getting free VIP’s (a local strip club DJ can confirm this) while the betas are breaking bread is priceless.

most of the guys are married. i wonder if their wives have cut them off sexually. sad. very sad.

Flatnose
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Flatnose
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This was brought home to me last night. I was staying in a hotel in an inner city. I came back after watching a brilliant band and went to the reception. I was under the influence of alcohol having had four strong pints of lager and a malt whisky so I was in an exuberant mood. While I was there a woman in her 30’s came to the desk because she had a problem with her room. We hit it off and found out we were on the same floor. I suggested that we have a couple of beers and… Read more »

mrcs84usn
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mrcs84usn
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“The short version of this is basically this is a “service” that tests (attorneys call this entrapment) a man’s fidelity by setting up an encounter with an attractive woman who approaches them in an effort to see if the man will ‘bite’ and seek out more intimate contact with her.”

Entrapment….Chris Hansen would probably argue this. Haha. I’m not condoning such interactions with minors, but the premise of that show was rather questionable.

Case
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Case
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Not noted yet is both the total absence of any class whatsoever, on the part of the proprietor or her lowbrow daughters that would appear to make her so proud, or the fact that the absence of any class is, itself, a primary fixture being placed on display in the ad.

RabbitHole
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RabbitHole
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The premise of that TV show and the family that stars in it are pure trash. Hypocritical sluts!

Women in committed relationships should know that they just need to take care of business. If a man bumps into an agressive hottie at the grocery store on a Saturday afternoon he is much less likely to cheat if his dick is limp and sore because his woman spent the morning sucking and fucking him for all it was worth.

Kate
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Kate
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Heywood, I do not jest a’tall. Most of my experience is that men are turned OFF by a woman’s true nature because they cannot handle it and run for their mamas You cannot ever present anything other than the nice, sweet, demure, young lady or they lose interest. Rollo: I have a new question on this topic, if you’ll undulge me. I recently discovered the last man I liked deceived me about this age. Instead of being 45, he is actually 54. GAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! When does a man’s sex drive start to slow down? If I’m being rejected by 54 year… Read more »

Flatnose
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Flatnose
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Don’t worry Kate…I looked at your avatar and got a postive male sexual response! Heh.:-)

Kate
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Kate
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HA HA! I aim to please smile

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