In my 20s I dated (see :”banged regularly”) 4 strippers. It came with the territory in the late 80s / early 90s Hollywood music scene I found myself a part of at the time. After dating and knowing the stripper friends of strippers I can tell you that, as surprising as it may sound, strippers are rarely whores in the traditional sense. In fact I’d go so far as to say that, among ‘professionally beautiful’ women, with the exception of porn actresses, strippers are probably THE most difficult women to Game. Not because of the implied perception that they are out of the ‘league’ of most guys, but rather because there’s a difficulty for men in reading what is genuine and what is ‘acting’ in her responses. The reason I say this is because the profession of “exotic dance” puts a woman into the position of making her living from generating male attention. These women literally make a living from being praised and affirmed with male attention every night they work.

Good strippers have a unique set of social skills and (usually) a body to make them work. From a behavioral standpoint, they can turn their sexuality on and off at will, so it becomes a challenge for any man spending more time than it takes for a $20 lap dance to really understand what is in fact genuine and what is “just working” for them. These women do this for a living, they see how their behavior affects men on a nightly basis and their self-affirmation, in fact their financial livelihood, depends on their ability to manipulate the attention men will pay for the privilege to give to them. And every night they work it’s another study in male behaviorism.

The important thing to remember is that these women are paid to have attention given to them, so, assuming you really want to hit it with a stripper, you have to make your attention more sought after and more valuable a commodity than that of the constant flow of men in the place where she works. Your Negs must be flawless, and your timing and your freeze-out techniques have to be perfected to key on areas where you detect insecurities. Needless to say you’ll need to be somewhat good looking and be uncompromising in your determination. Strippers wont tolerate an AFC, in fact AFCs are their bread & butter in a club so there’s little margin for error.

NEVER try to sarge a stripper in the club she works at. All the perfect ‘reads’ you could do to gauge her interest will always be offset by the fact that she’s “working” so nothing is certain. There will always be some chode at the end of the bar with $100 who’ll get more attention than you. Isolation is a necessity, and that’s simply not possible when she’s working. Always arrange to meet up alone at a lounge later and never on the same night you run Game on her. The best way to bag a strippers is to find a way into her social circle. Most strippers hang out with other strippers on their off nights. Find out who her friends are. Do your reconnaissance work before hand and it’ll go much easier for you to accidentally “bump” into her in her non-stripper persona. Three of the four strippers I got with were the result of doing just a cursory background check to see where they worked out or what social gathering they’d be at. Call that stalking if you want, but strippers tend not to have too many hobbies, so meeting them at Barnes and Noble is pretty much out. Once you do approach, play a sucker to catch a sucker; don’t for an instant let on that you knew she was a dancer. If you do, you’ll be psychologically relegated to being one of her clientele.

Once you do establish some connection, from the outset, never give a stripper even the impression that her stripping in any way bothers you. That’s just a cold hard reality of being with a stripper. Many a man before you has attempted to “reform” a stripper. The guy who ever does most certainly wont be you – know this now, strippers only “reform” once they are forced to acknowledge (subconsciously or not) the Wall. There’s too much money, too much attention, too much ego gratification for most men to ever offer more than what she gets nightly. Remember this, the only reformed strippers existing in the world are the ones who are too old or got too fat to keep it up. If you even hint that you might be possessive enough ask them to quit in the future, you’re done.

As is the stereotype, most strippers have ‘daddy issues’; even the strong independent ones who’d have you believe they’re only dancing to put themselves through college. You can however use this to your advantage. The longer a girl strips the more she looks for stability. Young strippers probably wont respond to this, but if a girl’s been on the pole for a couple of years she’s going to be at least subconsciously looking for some kind of future stability. If you can play Alpha bad ass with just the right amount of implied ambition, command presence and an ambient sense of stability you can tap into this daddy dynamic she’s after. Rockstars are fun for a night, but ‘Daddy’ leaves a more lasting impression.

All that said, bear in mind that a stripper will virtually NEVER be a good choice for a LTR. Beware the single mommy stripper. If you can approach the girl with the intent of having a good time in the short term and moving on after the experience, you’ll do well. It’s the guys that buy into the “hooker with the heart of gold” myth that fall back on their AFC behaviors and develop ONEitis with a stripper who have substantial damage done to them, and often their lives.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

34 comments on “Strippers

  1. “It’s the guys that buy into the “hooker with the heart of gold” myth …”

    I wonder why some guys believe this. Wishful thinking from a lack of other viable options? I think it actually is just pussy pedestalization taken to the extreme. I may be wrong on this but I think it is peculiarly a western phenomenon that even “whores” are regarded as superior to the average men and not bottom of the social totem pole like in other cultures. I remember reading about “slut walks” in India and how the protesters ending up just rallying against rape and shying away from using the word “slut” because they found it so degrading. Not so in our society.

      1. is it? i see my own friends drop hundreds in VIP sessions at vegas… they know how to work every angle to get you to drop your cash.

      2. My brother bounced at a strip club for awhile (I actually bounced at regular bar around the same time) so I had the both the opportunity to hear some of the goings on plus have some interaction (a few actually came in to the bar i worked).

        He would tell me of guys that literally would spend 1000+ dollars in a night on a “favorite girl” and often alot of it was conversation so the guys were essentially paying for the girl for a pretend girlfriend experience. The irony is he would tell me how sweet these chicks would be to these AFC’s faces while pumping them for money, but when not around show an unfathomable level of contempt and disgust at these same men. So yeah, some guys would get one-nitis for strippers.

        Good info here, and to the extent a hot chick is a hot chick is a hot chick there the motivation to bang them, but outside of bragging rights to buddies….”hey, I banged a stripper bro”, I’m not sure I see the appeal over just your garden variety hot chick who is probably much easier to game, and less headaches. From the dancers I encountered, these chicks were neurotic, and their drama dials went to 11 (Spinal Tap reference). I think women who sell their sexuality day in day out rather then give it to man do damage their psyches.

        If a guy can pull one as a fuckbuddy, then go for it, but I’m not sure I’d even want a short-term relationship that extends to any interaction beyond just fucking.

        1. “I think women who sell their sexuality day in day out rather then give it to man do damage their psyches.”

          Why do you say this? I used to think the same; that maybe I should feel sorry for them, maybe they were abused, maybe they have daddy issues, or some other psychological issues. But now that I think about it I don’t particularly notice any psychological peculiarities with these women. Now they do tend to be even bigger cunts than their civilian counterparts, have more experience at controlling men and are more in your face about using their sexuality as a weapon but that doesn’t mean they have damaged psyches.

          Actually Rollo’s recent post on slut shaming got me thinking. The worst insult you can hurl at a man is that your mother, sister, wife or significant woman in your life is a whore. So, when we see women resort to such whorism, blatantly using their sexuality to get ahead, we begin to wonder; oh how tragic, I wonder what made her succumb to this. But maybe these really don’t bother them the same way it does us.

          1. Why do you say this? I used to think the same; that maybe I should feel sorry for them, maybe they were abused, maybe they have daddy issues, or some other psychological issues.

            Maybe it is a chicken or egg type issue/question. I don’t know which comes first psychological issues leading to sex work or sex work leading to psychological issues. I’m talking a pretty limited sample of personal experience plus the stories my brother had for me. I know I’d bet a good chunk of my portfolio that strippers, porn stars, and prostitutes have a much higher percentage of mental/psychological issues than pharmaceutical sales reps. I’m not saying anything about feeling sorry for them. Generally, my feeling is you make the bed you lie in. I’m just not sure how smart it is to get involved with them beyond anything than a convenient booty call, but I don’t like to have alot of drama in my life.

            So, when we see women resort to such whorism, blatantly using their sexuality to get ahead, we begin to wonder; oh how tragic, I wonder what made her succumb to this. But maybe these really don’t bother them the same way it does us.

            I don’t really wonder about that sort of thing. As far as not bothering, of what I know, excessive drinking and drug use is much greater in strippers, and my theory is that people who drink excessively, get coked out all the time, are essentially self-medicating because of mental issues.

  2. great article – i’ve been having back/forth with a vegas girl i met awhile ago. i’ve noticed that she almost never likes to talk about any details work-related… never anything specific.

    but you’re right, a difficulty i’ve had is reading her (as you put, whether she is being genuine or acting). also right regarding daddy issues. and also right that she gravitates towards me probably because i deliver a cocky funny yet stable personality.

  3. With strippers you have to pretend what they do is no big deal, both on a moral level and on a sexual level. It doesn’t piss you off and it doesn’t particularly turn you on- it’s just what she does for a living. Both of the girls who were actively working the clubs when I banged them invited me to come see them at the club numerous times but I declined all of their offers (I met them outside the club). I don’t particularly like throwing money at chicks to make them pretend to like me so it worked out well for me in both cases.

    This reminds me. I really should start leveraging my connections. I have a friend who is a DJ at “R” north, and several people I know are in with that whole crowd. Wouldn’t be hard to pull if I spent some time there.

      1. Funny….that one had mommy issues. She seemed to have a lot of respect for her ex military colonel father. Not so much for her alcoholic mother who her dad took over custody from when she was 2.

  4. The “stripper with a heart of gold thing” is another instance of feminist blank-slatism. It’s denying that these girls have a “nature” and naively believing a person with no head issues whatsoever can enter such a profession. (Technically, I’d say girls with such problems are mostly made, not born, but feminists have trouble believing strippers, and even everyday sluts, have any kinds of ingrained issues which make them act the way they do).

    More sensible people understand nothing happens in a vacuum.

  5. I don’t know what kind of girls you used to date, but I would never be seeing a guy who’d tell me, go do you thing Hun! Every stripper, in my opinion, is looking for that kind of guy who doesn’t care what you did in the past but does care what you will do in the future…
    Thanks God, I don’t do it anymore 🙂

  6. If the men that frequent these establishments have any type of understanding of “stripper culture” they know what they are getting themselves into. In my opinion, the clientele are off-putting and at least partially perverted so I do not feel bad about manipulating them into giving me their money. They expected this when walking in the door. I am relatively new to the business so I cannot speak of the development of psychological problems as a result of working in this profession but I can say that I do not have them now. I do not exhibit “Daddy issues;” I have the utmost respect for both of my parents. I am in a committed long term relationship and in my ten years of sexual activity I have had only four partners, all of which I was involved in a committed relationship with. Maybe I am the exception to the rule, but I do this work to get myself out of personal debt, and to help to provide for my two girls while still being there to raise them and work my way through school. I know, clique right? As to your comment about strippers not having hobbies and not running into them at Barnes and Noble, as I said before I may be the exception to the rule, but I personally sew, make jewelry, read (a lot), and garden. I lead a rich and full life in spite of my profession an its obvious stereotypes.

  7. Damn it, I meant “and its obvious stereotypes.” Way to make myself sound like the quintessential uneducated stripper. Lol.

  8. There’s a lot of talk about how we basically manipulate and steel money from men every night. Well I’m sorry to say but every man knows exactly what he’s going to a strip club for and should know not to go without cash because he Is paying for a service, entertainment and a good time.
    And yes it is hard to catch the eye of a dancer, we have seen and heard it all. You must have something different about you and try harder then the average guy to get my attention.
    But if you do catch my eye your a lucky man. I’m more sexual then the average woman, I like looking good, I know how to talk to people intelligently. I also can take care of myself and my children and I’m gunna love the man that can fit right into that.

    1. “Steel” money?
      “Gunna: love?
      Talk intelligently.

      One of these three doesn’t fit with the other two.

      1. That’s right morpheus, knock the stripper off her hi horse with her unintelligent writing, hate to let her head get to big as if she was actually an amazing woman and mother to her 3 children. No child support and yes no college either, and yet some how she’ll go down as the most import woman ever to walk the earth in several peoples eyes even though she had bad grammar. Way to go loser.

  9. Sorry but I’m 26 years old and have been dancing for seven years. Ironically enough, I do have daddy issues but my fiancé is two months younger than I am and is not loaded, and doors want me to stop dancing BC he wants me to love myself even more and wants people around me to respect me more. I think anyone woman with daddy issues, stripper or not, tend to go for older men who can provide some direction in their lives. I’m guilty of it. But ultimately who I ended up with is a young man who understands me, doesn’t judge me, and ultimately respects me and my decisions, and encourages me to fulfill my full potential in life. Not all strippers are gold diggers. And there are not just two reasons why women stop dancing. There’s also women like me, who have been in the industry so long, that we decided to take even more control of or lives and invest our money into an education or own business and just really want to have a more fulfilling and normal lifestyle. I want a family, I’ve struggled with drug addiction and overcame it, and found my spirituality so I want to live a life that reflects my beliefs and needs. Not all women stay in the industry and drink and drug themselves into oblivion and wait to figure out an exit plan when their looks start fading or their health starts to deteriorate. And not all strippers look like strippers outside of work. I for one wear very modest clothing and feel no need to show my skin or put on fake lashes and ten lbs of make up. I shop local at co-ops, farmers markets, and thrift shops or salvation army, etc. I make my own make-up and house products. I don’t get satisfaction from an endless flow of material things and I haven’t owned a tell-lie-vision in almost eight years. Be careful who you judge before you start spewing stereotypes and throwing all strippers into one category. Am I one of a few? Yes. But the other women in the industry deserve just as much of a chance as I do.

  10. I think all these men just can’t face the truth that these girls are wise to their silly chat up lines and fakery. I have a friend who dances and is one of the best girls I know. The most funny and intelligent and doesn’t take crap from any man. As far as psychological issues go, she’s incredibly level headed, more than most.

    Face the reality guys. You just can’t bear the fact that girls can do just fine without help from anyone and honestly trying to turn around and call them sluts or hoes when YOU are the ones unashamedly discussing the best ways to “bang” a stripper?? I think it’s clear who the real whores are and it’s certainly not these girls.

  11. I stripped for 3 years and I find this post degrading. Seriously if you want a stripper treat her like she’s human above all. Don’t expect sex, just because she takes her clothes off for a living doesn’t mean she’s miss “easy”. Once in a blue moon I used to go out on the town with my dancing friends. When men would hit on is and touch us we usually went to another bar or told them where to go “right out the door”. Most of the women in the stripper world had day jobs or uni they attended during the day. Stripping is easy money kthat’s all it is. Nothing “whorish” “slutty” about it. The real criminals are the married or taken men who come in and bag their boring wives out and ask us for sex handing us their room key! And wondering why we don’t show up! Sorry that went in the bin haha whoops!

  12. This post is ridiculous you know why? Because you are trying to play games with women that have a Phd on manipulation and controlling others and they will see your sorry lame ass game coming a mile away. Here is something your low level of intelligence would never conclude on its own: strippers hear about sex all day long and they are over sexualized at the job. What is the one thing they are not used to hearing? Honesty and true caring which is something you have no idea about because if you did you wouldn’t have written this stupid post. And yes I am a stripper and yes I ran into a coworker at Barnes and Noble just last week.

  13. It’s rather funny that the comments start with supportive people and it turns to a few hoes “defending” their choice of employment. Good job agreeing with most things ladies, oh but follow it up by saying I’m one of a kind, I’m not a whore, and men suck. And that is why this was written to begin with, silly stupid hoes. If you had morals to begin with, you’d never be on a stage, getting offended over blogs that aren’t even smearing how dirty you really are. Keep twerkin girls,your kids need no positive role models and ya wonder why men treat you like objects.

  14. Fiona, your post is just hilarious. I have never laughed so much in my life.
    “just because she takes her clothes off for a living doesn’t mean she’s miss “easy”.” That is a definition of easy. “Nothing “whorish” “slutty” about it.” You are literally completely naked, sexualizing yourself in front of a bunch of men and dance for them. How is it not completely whorish or slutty?

  15. Re: Pimp Named Slickback

    The fact that she works as a stripper doesn’t mean that she is going to fuck every man who hits on her, which is clearly what she meant by “easy”.

  16. Lmao Al this is crazy we all ended up mentally and wierdly drawn to the same freaking page. I’m 44 use to be a dancer. I stopped when I became pregnant with my son.Ibvalued his respect more than his own father. I felt it was my responsibility to display respectable qualities in order to know what one looked and behaved like. He’s.notb bad at 17 but he’s surely becoming an man neveerhless girls and cars. Lol long as he knows I did my job. Were alll responsible for our actions choices and sinsbNo one wants to feel like or be treated like a whore and no guy wants to feel like he has no self control, or guilty of his member being stimulated that’s natural, or he’s being manipulated by something given to him as a gift. He was decieved by Eve.ladies It’s an Adamb and Eve ,serpent complex he has a duty to spot out danger but we’re still flesh. However if there wasn’t an establishment usually owned by one or more of your male counterparts there wouldn’t be an avenue or opportunity or easily.accessible.visually inspired, rock hard cockngenerated cheap cop a fill behind my so called respectable live in vagina that has no idea ain’t might be planning some really awesome sneaky hamky panky stress relieving good time that doesn’t include her what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her possible notch in my belt type adventure this is gonna make me bang my wife even harder environment in.which the night out fiasco said females wouldn’t readily set themselves up for this considering that most males for.oblivious to the fact that they are the natural providers for said creations from their ribs. Which by the way specifically grow up to be someone’s mother daughter wife sister, bit without saying that the male doesn’t desire female attention that completely overlooks the desire to walk in with a pocket full of money fulfilling his provider ego with an added strngs.attached no wifely,or offspring desires to.fulfill while secretly stimulating both brains and satisfying his visual inspired hunt and gatherer phenome. We’re all wired. Women want to.feel safe protected and desired and men want to feel needed capableb both are.gratified through this interaction. Physically and paychogically stimulating both egos and a wife is no different than the female so called her it is her duty to provide this pleasure if not more And raisenr his future offPring and accept money to tend to his needs and that his children survive is well so everyone has a good point and can just calm it. No one is better than the other. In terms of perspectives. Men are being used each day for their services and mostly Braun to recieve payment. For services rendered and it’s simply called work all titles.can be considered work with a different standpoint and perspective. Indidnt graduate from high school. Im a jack of all trades . I chose this because I could make money every day be being somethinbi was naturally created to do. I don’t have to wait 2 weeks and yes it feels really good to be desired right guys and nice to have money when you need it it comes and goes . Basically we’re all mad in here. We don’t like when men can’t provide and men want a loyal woman but the societal pushed personas have been blurred with unrealistic visions of man and same goes for women that’s y I believe us to have help mate s to understand the shortcomings not highlightb them. We all have issues and beliefs don’t answer this but what’s daddy issues . Daddy’s the provider .

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