Casualties

I’ve been meaning to write this post for some time now. I’d thought about it again in August when the James Holmes Colorado theater shooting incident occurred. There were plenty of other incidents I’ve had over the years to contemplate this premise, and unfortunately I’m sure there’ll be more in the future.

As a few of you know I live in Central Florida and we’ve recently had a shooting at an area salon. More recently over the weekend there was this incident in Milwaukee as well. As a writer and thinker immersed as I am in red pill awareness, and an observer of the Matrix in general, the first question that comes to my mind when confronting stories like these is to wonder about the perpetrator’s personal life. There are a lot more notorious killers than these to speculate about – James Holmes, George Sodini, Seung-Hui Cho(VT shooter), Anders Brevik, etc. come to mind, but there are far more inconspicuous killers and incidents that go unreported.

When I read about killings, and often suicides, of this nature I find myself wondering about how the shooter’s Matrix conditioning contributed to his mental state. These are uncomfortable questions for me, especially considering the direct loss of life, when I take into account that what I propose here, the observations I make about the feminine imperative and the correlations I come to in part or in whole may influence the decision for a man to kill his wife, his children, his girlfriend or himself.

Average Frustrated Suicide

The first guy I knew to commit suicide over a woman was my brother-in-law. I don’t like to go into too much detail about it as critics may think it’s my casus belli for getting involved in the manosphere, but suffice to say it was after a 20 year marriage and 2 children. My sister-in-law promptly married the millionaire she was seeing less than a year after he was in the ground. This is a real point of contention her family and I have with her, but it was his terminal  beta-ness / ONEitis conditioning that greatly contributed to his hanging himself. The psychologist in me knows there are plenty of imbalances that dispose a person to suicide, but I also know there are plenty of external prompts that make taking action more probable.

My brother-in-law hung himself as a response to having the unthinkable happen to him; his ONE, his soulmate, a woman he was very posessive of, was leaving him after 20 years of marriage (for a millionaire we discovered later). She was the ONLY woman he’d ever had sex with and had been (to the best of my knowledge) a faithful and dependable husband and father since they married at 18 and 19. He did the ‘right thing’ and married her when he’d gotten her pregnant at 17 and stuck by her, sacrificed any ambition he had and worked his ass off to send both his kids to college – an advantage he’d never achieve. He wasn’t a saint by any means, and I’m not going to argue my sister-in-law’s motivations, since those aren’t my point; my point is that he was an AFC who never came to terms with it and believed his life was only completed with his ONE. He literally couldn’t go on without her.

He couldn’t kill the beta (if he was even aware of it), so he killed himself.

He never displayed any sign of mental illness, he wasn’t an aspie-geek, never saw a therapist, never had issues with depression even up to the day of his suicide and generally had his shit together for the most part. We can call crazy “crazy”, but when I read reports of 16 y.o. boys gunning down the parents of their 14 y.o. girlfriends so they can “be together as they were meant to be” there’s more than just mental consideration to account for.

The Illness

AFCness (for lack of a better term) I see as a form of conditioning. If a man internalizes for the majority of his life that he “can’t live without” a woman and he has even mild self-esteem issues or personality disorders it may be that he literally can’t live without a girlfriend or wife.

The second person I’ve known to take his own life was a radio DJ named Nick. Nick decided swallowing a bullet was preferable to life without his ONE girl. I’m not faulting the girl with his suicide for breaking up wiith him, quite the opposite actually. It’s this proclivity for which men have been socialized into AFCness that makes for fatal actions like this. As part of my coursework in college I once counseled a 17 year old girl who’s former boyfriend stabbed to death (30 times) the guy she broke up with him for. He’s doing life in prison now because “She was his soul-mate.” I had to shake my head when I read The Game and about how Mystery got (gets?) suicidal because, although he’s a master PUA, he’s never addressed the AFC that he still is inside.

Now let me be clear, in no way do I mean to infer that these women had anything directly to do with these guy’s suicides. They only did what women will do as hypergamy and their conditions dictate. These men were both 100% responsible for their own deaths. And that’s just it, it was their ego-investment in their Beta-ness (for lack of a better term) and in their ONEitis that killed them. It was their inner AFC that drove them to suicide.

This is why I argue that ONEitis is a mental disorder, and in extreme cases, has the potential to be terminal. As I stated, if a man internalizes for the majority of his life that he “can’t live without” a woman and he has even mild self-esteem issues or personality disorders it may be that he literally can’t live without a girlfriend or wife. I wont blame women out of hand – put simply, women will do what women will do according to their conditions. So when paired up with an AFC and then quite understandably she wants to leave him either for her own good or a better option, this AFC extremisim comes into play. Honestly, I think this degree of an AFC mentality is comparable to Borderline Personality Disorder in neurotic women.

The reason I’ve followed and written in the community at all is because I believe the effort I put out in order to free Men’s (and women’s) heads of damaging ideologies is worth it if it saves a life. I mean that literally. Whether it means preventing an immediate suicide or a slow death in an AFC marriage, so be it.

The fundamental delusion that all suicidal AFCs entertain is the Fallacy of the ONE. They are predisposed (and pre-whipped) to ONEitis even when they are still dateless virgins. I realize this runs contrary to the popular belief that ONEitis is an all-consuming concern to identify with one solitary woman. This presumes the AFC is in an LTR of some kind with an actual subject to base his ONEitis on, however it’s really only one half of the equation. Most men are predisposed to ONEitis before they stumble into an LTR. Essentially they prepare themselves to identify wholesale with what feminized society tells them is their responsibility as a man to do. Once that purpose is removed from them, once they can no longer measure up to even a marginalized hypergamy, this is when men conditioned by the feminine imperative consider suicide as an option.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Tom Leykis
Tom Leykis
7 years ago

There is no such thing as “the one”. Women are like busses, another comes along every 10 minutes.

[You know, there’s a reason I link my past articles in my most current ones. The Fallacy of the ONE.]

thwack
thwack
7 years ago

I don’t take it personally Hammer; most black people don’t either, because somewhere in the back of our minds, we know our “inclusion” was an afterthought; often a contested one.

For white men?

Straight up betrayal.

I say this because just like that IMF bigshot who was falsely accused of raping the maid,

If they can do it to white men, they can do it to anybody.

Ted D
7 years ago

Chuck Hammer – “What do you do when you come to understand that your nature makes you the designated victim in the sexual and marriage marketplace”

Adapt or suffer. I’m very much the same way in regards to fairness and honesty. Thing is life isn’t fair and most people aren’t very honest. Doesn’t mean I have to sink to their level, but I’d be a fool to think we are playing the game by the same rules.

AlphaBeta
AlphaBeta
7 years ago

Not everyone who deploys fires a weapon or kills anyone.

Ougo
Ougo
7 years ago

If them males in your examples would have been a females, the feminists would have said similar things: co-dependent, thought her life is over without a man and so on. And the millionaire would have been a younger woman. There would be some sympathy but also some blame before the congregation agrees that romantic love in general is a mugs’ game. And that is regardless of whether the heroes of the story are gay, male, female or other. In fact, they probably don’t even need to be human…! (see: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2156866/Giant-turtles-divorce-115-YEARS-despite-couple-counselling.html) I don’t think it’s an MRA issue… but a general… Read more »

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[…] Rational Male – Casualties, […]

qld654
7 years ago

Reblogged this on Château Oz.

trackback
7 years ago

[…] to be our match has been systematically distorted beyond all reason. And as I elaborated in Casualties men will take their own lives in the delusion of having lost their […]

Georgia Boy
Georgia Boy
7 years ago

>A recent case is a girl I was banging for a while who was engaged. Amazing chemistry between us and we had a good time (her man’s sex drive was pretty much nom-existent and he was purely boring routine missionary sex in bed),

At least, that’s what she told you, huh. And as long as the pussy was good, why question it? You’re kidding yourself if you think you aren’t part of the problem. Go ahead, shoot your load of hamsterizations.

Anonymous
Anonymous
7 years ago

Most of you will probably have seen this, but for thoughts on self-image and why PUA doesn’t fix all your problems, see http://therawness.com/reader-letters-1-part-4/ (NB: you may want to read parts 1-3 too, and they’re all long as hell).

MTK (@MANFORTHEAGES)
7 years ago

I have the same concerns as a previous poster about the accuracy of the video. I nearly posted it on my facebook page for awareness on men’s rights but its got to be true or it should take Lance’s name out as it implies he was wronged in this way. I can find no record of divorce, being kept from his kids, the scene of death is fictional (not in the home), and other sources I read implied he was still married and had more like combat stress fatigue. He could be a great poster child for that but the… Read more »

krauserpua
7 years ago

Here’s the shortlist for the next mall shooter. As much as its easy to point and laugh, these guys are dealing with serious pain. They are the victims of the blue pill advice. http://tinyurl.com/btuhvyc

trackback
7 years ago

[…] I attempted to address this in Casualties. […]

Cebu
Cebu
7 years ago

“Most men are predisposed to ONEitis before they stumble into an LTR. Essentially they prepare themselves to identify wholesale with what feminized society tells them is their responsibility as a man to do. ”

Wow. I had no idea. In my culture its girls and women who are trained to think like this about their future husbands. But I’m living here now so this is good information. I will be mindful of it when I get serious with somebody. And I will use that predisposition to good advantage.

Rumour
Rumour
7 years ago

This post is perfect for me right now. I started dating this woman a year ago. I did everything right and nailed her. We kept going and I slowly drifted back into beta. Two weeks ago we were in Florida together, everything was great. Tuesday morning she sent me a message about how much passion we share and how our intense our attraction is. We had sex Tuesday night and again Wednesday morning. Not five minutes after we were done, she says she wants to break up. Insane. I was confused and mad because it was so sudden. She tried… Read more »

Rumour
Rumour
7 years ago

… Also went no contact, but my damn mind keeps pushing bullshit to the forefront. I’ve been reading this blog a while now and Rollo’s message and that bitch boy that is stuck in my head are scrapping. It’s reason vs. emotion pure and simple.

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[…] Casualties (personal best post of 2012-13) […]

Tom
Tom
6 years ago

This is actually kind of scary to read, as there is a guy i know who has shown near stalker-esque traits towards a particular girl. He’s an ex-gang-banger who is a tough SOB, and when he left his “gang world”, became a decent human being. However, I think he has an extremely addictive personality, and I sometimes fear for this girls safety because of him. I’m not sure if he’s calmed down at all with her, as I haven’t really kept up contact with him or her for nearly 2 years. However, he said he was going to visit her… Read more »

trackback
6 years ago

[…] my essay Casualties I described the situation of my sister-in-law and her first husband committing […]

monkeywerks
6 years ago

This vid makes me sick, because its so fucking true. I made it to 6 years when my wife told me she was not haaapppy any more. I dont see my children. They live 10 minutes from me. I make myself forget about them, like I had to forget about her and my first daughter when I was fighting in the sandbox in 04′. I refuse to allow hwer to control or manipulate me by using my girls. I have pretend they do not exist. In the end – MEN ALWAYS LOSE. Money is better spent on my life than… Read more »

monkeywerks
6 years ago

Rumour April 15th, 2013 at 2:38 pm This post is perfect for me right now. I started dating this woman a year ago. I did everything right and nailed her. We kept going and I slowly drifted back into beta. Two weeks ago we were in Florida together, everything was great. Tuesday morning she sent me a message about how much passion we share and how our intense our attraction is. We had sex Tuesday night and again Wednesday morning. Not five minutes after we were done, she says she wants to break up. Insane. I was confused and mad… Read more »

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[…] ulgier realities of hypergamy in “Possession” or his earlier similar treatment “Casualties” or his controversial and hard-hitting “War Brides“, what comes back to me is […]

funkymunkyluvn
funkymunkyluvn
6 years ago

Reblogged this on American Idiocracy and commented:
All war is anti-male because all war is violence against men.

Paul Murray
5 years ago

Narcissism. “She is special to *me*, therefore she is special in an absolute sense”. I’d like to ask each of these guys, before they pulled the trigger, “Dude, what does your ONE look like to me? How do I see her?” Maybe pul them out of their tiny little world for just a split second, to make an effort to see the world from someone else’s point of view.

MB
MB
5 years ago

This is a story that resonates all too well with me. In 2011 my (ex) wife left me. Pretty good chance she had an affair. She never admitted but my gut told me she had. She was a very sneaky, secretive woman. It was during the separation before the divorce that I very nearly killed myself. But I toughed it out, made it through, and to this day am glad that I didn’t do it. The trauma and heartbreak, starting with the reading of “No More Mr Nice Guy” led me to the manosphere. This in turn gave me whole… Read more »

Adamo
Adamo
4 years ago

You know what fucking hurts the most, what makes this pill so hard to swallow? I lost her because I showed weakness, showed humanity, show fucking vulnerability…thing is I wasn’t putting it on, I wasn’t “playing nice”. It was who I really was at that time. My daughter’s terminal illness broke me , I showed my belly to the woman I loved and she stuck a knife in it. In my darkest hour I turned to the person I thought I could trust above all others and saw, not love, not compassion, but revulsion in her eyes… I wanted someone… Read more »

Vitali
Vitali
4 years ago

Thanks. You are doing very good thing publishing texts like this one. I was really depressed when she ended reliationship with me. I even considered suicide… After reading that i know that I am AFC… And i know she is not Worth it. Maybe you saved another life:) but any further advise how to fully overcome this and be better version of myself?

Jay McMahon
Jay McMahon
3 years ago

EVERY time returning from deployment, there would be in my unit — true combat-under-fire-tested-and-proven honorable Men who “did everything right” — returning to empty homes. Being Men, these would take responsibility and plant failure squarely upon themselves. We (baffled) comrades would (try) tell him No: SHE was screwed up and “take hope bro, NAWALT” (mostly for our own false reassurance) — little knowing a woman at core evo-biologically is, more or less, exactly like that. WALT. This work is vital and saves lives because it allows one to clearly SEE, and so removes that self-damnation of “having done everything right”… Read more »

mail mai
mail mai
2 years ago

” I think this degree of an AFC mentality is comparable to Borderline Personality Disorder in neurotic women.” There is a point you overlook. ONEitis can infect tombeurs de femmes too. It can bring down to their knees great mean… of thought, as well as action. I have no scarcity mentality, don’t mind being single for even long periods, am always quick to be the first to walk out on a relationship soon as power games are played… But love (something men are much more vulnerable to than women) is something that digs into you. Normally, everything is on the… Read more »

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[…] Çeviri : Casualties […]

Serhat BAŞARAN
Serhat BAŞARAN
2 years ago

“From the outset, I do not say explicitly that these women are at least the responsibility of these deaths. They only do it if it is hypergamy and what they need in their situation. These men are 100% responsible for their own deaths. All the crime in their deaths is their ego-investment in their own bribery and ONEitis. AFC in pushing them to suicide. ” SO ROLLLA TOMASSI we all grew up in the hands of our fathers, and our mothers torched us for the domination of their species. Girls are already born to be male enemies. The Annelies blend… Read more »

UtahMan
UtahMan
2 years ago

Unfortunately this is something that I can 100% relate to. 7 years ago when my ex wife left me I seriously considered ending it over someone who was never worth the ego investment I put into her. Lucky for me I was not as damaged as I thought I was. I finally started to improve myself and made myself a better person just to do the dumbest thing ever and re-enter a relationship with her…. The second time around it was me that realized I was better than what I was giving myself and I walked away.. I’m finally coming… Read more »

khan
khan
1 year ago

I often laugh at people who consider love as rubbish or foolishness without falling in love with someone.love exists.i am not talking about women’s love but men’s. if you have never felt about any girl that you can’t live without her and have never found yourself dying if she ever went out of contact you can’t talk about it.anyhow once in my life I fell in love with a girl with whom I had been studying in 5th class. I was so shy and timid that I could not express my feelings before her until I reached in class 10th… Read more »

SwagSurfer
SwagSurfer
10 months ago

Rollo, this is my first ever comment here & this post really hit home for me. I’m not a veteran, or military, but we can in some way all relate to the unfair nature of fickle female emotions. I myself have been recently red-pilled. My whole life, I saw glimpses of reality, told myself some of the same things that are mirrored by many of the Year One posts. It was always so obvious, even my built in realization that one day, woman would probably come running to me in panic after the age of 30. That they were fundamentally… Read more »

Charles Martel
Charles Martel
8 months ago

I will probably commit suicide soon because i still have this one-itis since i am 20, and i am 44. Been depressed all my life, only had sex with professionnals, kissed only one girl in my life, unemployed most of the time, about to lose my current job, been raised by a depressed neurotic single mother, father absent from 12 to 17, he was an alcoolic, my family on my mother’s side is a pit of vipers, betraying each others again and again and depressed too and recently i discovered that this girl who’s been single untill 44 yo got… Read more »

Adi
Adi
7 days ago

I have recently discovered your work Rollo and I gotta say, you have opened my eyes. Keep up the good work

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