The Perfect Man

Arcbound had a bit of insight about the tactical applications of predictable behaviors resulting from women’s menstrual cycle phases:

So then how would someone reconcile the two characteristics… Is there some sort of balance of alpha and beta traits? Should we show alpha and beta traits on different times of the month?

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t anticipated this response, but the key to answering this question is found in how women perceive attraction versus how they feel when sexually aroused. I detailed this briefly in my last post:

I think where most beta men lose the trail is in the belief that Beta attraction is (or should be) synonymous with Alpha arousal. Each of these concepts is representative of a different facet of women’s pluralistic sexual strategy – Alpha seed, Beta need. Women’s sexual imperatives can be defined by the degree to which her short term mating strategy can be justified, or offset, by her long term mating strategy.

For women and most plugged in men, what I’m illuminating here probably seems like an effort in semantics, but it’s important to make a separation between what conditions and cues a woman is sexually aroused by and what traits make for her overal attraction for a man.

Attraction is not Arousal

Women love to be asked about what they look for in a man. It’s kind of like imagining what you’ll do with all your lottery winnings after you buy a quick-pick – you want the mansion and the yacht, but you’ll also give some to charity so as not to seem like money could fundamentally change you into a greedy prick. Women rationalize that their most self-indulgent wants need to be tempered with some measured appearance of prudence. This is a kind of meta scale anti-slut defense. However, while ASD is a localized private dynamic, on a socialized, public scale this translates into women presenting a perception of judiciousness in explaining what they find attractive in a man, without being burdened with the perception of ‘shallowness’ for what they find arousing in a man.

You also have to consider that when women list their prerequisites for their ideal man, they are approaching this question from the perspective of whom they would like to pair off with for committed long term security and provisioning – entirely sidestepping women’s innate pluralistic sexual strategy and what really turns them on for a short term sexual experience. Most of what a woman will list as redeeming attributes on her ‘attraction list’ are what red pill men would describe as beta traits. In fact, as per my last post on menstruation, most of these attraction cues would be best expressed while a woman is in her luteal phase. In this frame of mind she says she wants comfort and trust endearing qualities – sensitivity, empathy, familiarity, humor, charm, compliments, caring, etc. – in other words the beta traits the average chump has in spades as the result of his constant immersion in a fem-centric acculturation.

Generation AFC

One of the most resounding themes in the manosphere is that the vast majority of guys are beta chumps. A lot of men and women outside the sphere bristle at this estimation because it sounds callous and accusatory – all coming at them from the end of a pointed arrogant Alpha’s finger. But the root of their anger really comes from being made to understand that the overwhelming mass of average frustrated chumps are actually the direct result of the feminization they thought would benefit humanity. Let’s level the playing field and play by women’s standards for a change, lets see what they’d like men to be, lets identify with the feminine more and the world will be a better place.

Only it turned out not to be a better place. It turns out women didn’t know what was best for men as based on their own inadequate (really solipsistically indifferent) understanding of masculine nature and the results are summed up in articles like this; feminized men bemoaning the feminization of men. All as a proxy for women complaining about how the feminized men they created are now too feminine for them to be attracted to, much less aroused by.

So as you can see, the world is actually awash in beta men; and all so well conditioned to be in touch with their feminine sides that they seek out the guiding dominance of masculinized women (by choice or by perception) to provide them with a direction in their life. Beta Game is a dead end (sometimes literally), so unsurprisingly it’s a painful realization for the majority of men to have this spelled out for them in no uncertain terms. At the same time it comes as a stinging retribution for women who see what’s become of the men they created – they got the men they deserved.

More Beta is not a Sexual Strategy

There are certain femosphere bloggers who’d advocate the building of a better beta. Their presumptions are based on the same misguided feminization that resulted in the greater feminization of the men Hugo Schwyzer complains about (for women) in his article. They fear a push back towards masculine Alpha dominance will result in a generation of assholes, devoid of the nurturing beta qualities they thought women could identify more with. Yet they simultaneously bemoan the absence of dominant, arousal inspiring, Alpha aspects of masculinity in men today. Ted D in his new found red pill epiphany sums this paradox up fairly well over at Aunt Giggles echo chamber:

We can go on and on about how most women LOVE good beta traits, but they simply ARE. NOT. TURNED. ON. BY. THEM

In this short sentence Ted D encapsulates the conflict between Attraction and Arousal for women. When women say “they want the whole package” they enumerate the qualities of what makes for their best long term provisioning, however, this conflicts with what arouses women sexually. The guy who exemplifies the best beta male characteristics isn’t getting the same play as the guy exemplifying the best Alpha arousal cues. This is precisely the duplicity men experience when women mislead them to believe that beta provisioning traits are equatable with Alpha arousal cues.

A stay at home Dad might have himself convinced that he’s more fulfilled in his mothering role, but he’s gravely mistaken in convincing himself that women find his fatherly efforts sexually arousing. They may find it attractive in “whole package” sense, ultimately Hypergamy doesn’t care how great a father you are.

For the better part of the last 70 years men have been conditioned to think that more beta equals more pussy, and the results of this social experiment are now manifest in the pathetic men Hugo (himself included) complains of. The greater problem women face now is accepting the genuineness of an Alpha transformation of so many men.

Up the Alpha

Women love the concept of tempering the dominant asshole Alpha. It’s a common romance novel fantasy for women to be the uniquely soothing influence over the rebellious jerk who wets her panties with her arousal. It’s self-affirming for women to think their Alpha superhero would only show his beta side to her. Unfortunately the reverse of this situation is the reality – the vast majority of men must fight an uphill battle from beta origins to Alpha transformation. It is Game and red pill awareness that aid in upping the Alpha, but for women conditioned to expect beta male frailty, for women whose lives have been defined by male submissiveness, this transformation is herculean task.

Women would rather share a high value Man than be saddled with a faithful loser. The easier path for women is to ditch the primarily beta man in favor of finding / holding out for (and sharing) an arousing, primarily Alpha man.

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muscleman
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muscleman

The question then becomes is how do you embody both in proper amounts to get to that ‘rather share a high value man’ status. As you know my plates run 1-3 months in duration. I don’t know if I’m giving myself away too easily or not easily enough, but how do you keep them going longer – becoming more ‘high value’? Or is it one of those things where women actually PREFER the duplicity, where if you’re alpha you’re alpha and you just get to fuck her and if you’re beta then you’re beta and you just get commitment and… Read more »

Love's Orphan
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Love's Orphan

It makes sense. I can now recall the group of women who were attracted to me but wasnt aroused. Ah, the light…

Nutz
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Nutz

As Roissy/Heartiste would say, biomachanics is god.

If guys want to learn what it really takes to up their alpha, I strongly recommend reading the Escalation section of 60 Years of Challenge. That one guide made a huge difference in my game and how I present myself to the world.

Shameful
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Shameful

Really they shouldn’t be afraid of a world of asshole alphas. Alpha while a state of mind is also an arms race against other men. The far larger danger for civilization and female creature comforts is the beta males finally giving up hope. Civilization was built on their backs for better or worse. If civilization only offers them derision and scorn they will opt out eventually. The road to alpha is rough, easier to turn into video games for men. Enjoy the decline!

FuriousFerret
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FuriousFerret

In most periods in history wouldn’t the alpha male also be a great beta male as well? Historical the alpha male is a leader type in his group. Being the leader brings with it all the resources that come with that status. These resources are the backbone of being a great provider for the woman and the children, the absolute top attribute of the beta. I know we talk about masculine mentality and not putting women on a pedestal. But feminized ways of thinking didn’t have to be deprogrammed. Masculine mindset was really the default mindset. In fact, women were… Read more »

Mark Minter
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Well done Rollo. If there is one quality I find in your postings, it is good taste. You generally find the way to expose a topic, yet do it with good taste. You could have taken that Jezebel article and rubbed it in. But as usual, your treatment of the theme used the academic basis so common in your postings. No matter how rabid a feminist might be, she would have to give your treatment of this topic an acknowledgement. I was reading some of Roissy’s much older posts last night and came across this one “Love in the Time… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
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In most periods in history wouldn’t the alpha male also be a great beta male as well? Historical the alpha male is a leader type in his group. Being the leader brings with it all the resources that come with that status. These resources are the backbone of being a great provider for the woman and the children, the absolute top attribute of the beta. No. It’s been debated endlessly in the manosphere, but Alpha is a mindset, not a demographic. You’ll find the Alpha mindset in Leaders of Men® as well as in drug dealers, gang leaders and pimps.… Read more »

Hero
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Hero

When my wife found arousal in an other guy and I responded with jealousy and hurt it became a potentially dangerous fork in the road. It really is true that hypergamy doesn’t care. Hypergamy doesn’t care how good of a father you are, how mature you are, or how well you can communicate your feelings. Luckily the saying “five minutes of alpha is greater than five years of beta” goes both ways. She snapped to attention when I broke out of my beta backslide and upped the alpha. It is amazing how fast the direction of their attention can change… Read more »

immoralgables
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immoralgables

@Mark Minter

Interesting comment. I would like to think that the pendulum will swing back but the social constructs in place make it seem unlikely.

Too many men have been betafied. Good for us in the know though.

FuriousFerret
Guest
FuriousFerret

Let just stick with 1000 AD viking society for reference. I was alluding to that during that period, I can’t imagine that their would even be a beta mindset of pedestaling women. Vikings were simply masculine. Just as with Spartan culture, when your first battle is at 12, growing up a mangina usually isn’t an option. With all other things being equal in terms of a masculine mindset, the man with the most is king. The viking cheiftain is the supreme alpha and beta. He usually got his position from being the best warrior and leader (alpha) and he has… Read more »

Peregrine John
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Peregrine John

Hero: I’m always looking for examples of, as you say, upping the alpha, being something I actively work on (for reasons similar to yours). Got any specifics you can impart?

The Dude
Guest
The Dude

I think Athol Kay said it best.

If you are beta (like most guys) up the alpha…if you are alpha, bring in some beta. The hardest part is knowing when to use which personality at what time.

The Lone Planet
Guest
The Lone Planet

They’re not worth it. Just sit back and watch the world burn.

Mark Minter
Guest

Also, I would advise the reader to follow the link above “Aunt Giggles echo chamber”. I post the link again to the “Hooking Up Smart” posting that you linked: http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2012/08/29/relationshipstrategies/hot-mean-vs-not-hot-nice-what-do-girls-want/comment-page-8/#comment-145755 It is interesting to read women speak about “Alpha Traits” and “Beta Qualities”. I found their discussion to be on par with men talking about the best combination of skill players for a fantasy football team, what Alpha Traits would be desirable combined with which beta qualities. I also found a schism in what Susan says and what is generally felt by most Red Pill men. She is talking about… Read more »

Hero
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Hero

@Peregrine John Roissy’s Sixteen Commandments Of Poon is pure gold. http://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/ Ponder each one of these points separately and consider how each contributes to the whole of your person. For us married guys I don’t advocate cheating to fulfill the “Always keep two in the kitty” rule but realize that you have options. Women really aren’t that hard to come by. If you wanted to, you could go get one right now. Feel that as being a strong source of sexual energy in your life. Other thoughts: Manhandle her. Don’t be afraid to get physical. Typical caveman stuff. Pick her… Read more »

GeishaKate
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GeishaKate

The Perfect Man: one who understands women, generally, and me, specifically. That’s it. If those two things are there, that’s everything 🙂

Hero
Guest
Hero

@Peregrine John

I responded but I think it ended up in moderation because I threw in a link to Roissy’s Sixteen Commandments of Poon.

Hopefully my comment will show up but it doesn’t I will try to reconstruct my thoughts.

Waiting…

FuriousFerret
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FuriousFerret

The Perfect Man: one who understands women, generally, and me, specifically. That’s it. If those two things are there, that’s everything

Was supposed to sarcastic? Serious question.

The Dude
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The Dude

Men don’t ask for much in a woman…look good, sex us up, and cook a mean meal.

FuriousFerret
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FuriousFerret

@Mark “Like the old black woman said “All feminism did for me was give me another job”.” That’s what always baffled me about feminist career women. They want to join the corporate world when they don’t have to. Why in the holy hell would anyone want to do that? If I was a decent looking woman, I would want to get married, do some sweeping, eat bon bons and watch oprah. Sounds like paradise. Feminism was created by ugly women who tricked normal women into thinking they wanted that shit. They were figurative serpent telling women that ‘career’ was the… Read more »

GeishaKate
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GeishaKate

No, that was not supposed to be sarcastic. I remember reading dating/relationship books or talking with female friends, and one big thing was always to make a list of what one wanted and that was somehow “calling” that man into your life. I had a list with several things on it: the ideal age, wage, stage, etc. But, really, it simplifes to what I said above. The understanding women thing is pretty challenging. But, I’ve met men like that now. The understanding me thing is even more challenging, but, ultimately, its the only thing that matters. Whatever was on my… Read more »

FuriousFerret
Guest
FuriousFerret

I’m just have to disagree with you there GeishaKate on ‘The Perfect Man: one who understands women, generally, and me, specifically. That’s it. If those two things are there, that’s everything ‘ What I think happened to your mentality though is a good thing. You had a list. Basically the worst damn thing you can do in terms of actually finding somebody that isn’t just around for a pump and dump. The list will most certainly destroy most average looking women’s chance of actually finding someone in her MMV because it’s just hypergamy personified. What you was lower your standards… Read more »

GeishaKate
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GeishaKate

Of course I want a lot. I also offer a lot. I wouldn’t ultimately be able to respect any man who hadn’t been at least as successful in life as I have been. We all know this. When you get to be as old as the hills, you have experience and you want to be with someone else who has experience. And by experience, I mean in relationships (real ones, not the three months some people consider a relationship 🙂 ). My problem with the lists is that they often limit the women and they don’t give men who don’t… Read more »

FuriousFerret
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FuriousFerret

Geisha, This is so fascinating. I love when women come to these blogs and illustrate the main points that very blogs themselves make. Lets recap: So you start off with saying: ‘The Perfect Man: one who understands women, generally, and me, specifically. That’s it. If those two things are there, that’s everything ‘- GK This is exactly in the spirit of this very post: ‘Most of what a woman will list as redeeming attributes on her ‘attraction list’ are what red pill men would describe as beta traits.’ – Rollo GK says that sentence in a tone of I’m very… Read more »

Emma the Emo
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Emma the Emo

“A man that understands women is experienced with women. You still want a huge attraction indicator of pre-selection. ”

Hmm, I think a man who understands women could just as easily be a beta who has a lot of experience being rejected (even by sluts who would supposedly fuck just about anyone), LJBF’ed and watching his alpha buddies get laid. Understanding won’t necessarily get him laid on its own.

FuriousFerret
Guest
FuriousFerret

‘Hmm, I think a man who understands women could just as easily be a beta who has a lot of experience being rejected (even by sluts who would supposedly fuck just about anyone), LJBF’ed and watching his alpha buddies get laid. Understanding won’t necessarily get him laid on its own.’ None of that helps in ‘understand women’. ‘Understanding women’ is code for knowing how to play them. Plus even in theoritical sense all three of those points have problems. 1) Rejected – If he gets rejected repeately without success at all, he obviously is doing it wrong and doesn’t have… Read more »

Emma the Emo
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Emma the Emo

What I’m saying is, he might know all the theory of how women work, just without any success in practice. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand them. Reading law books and trying to become a lawyer doesn’t mean you will ever become a good one. 1) He might know exactly what is wrong in his approach, but unable to fix it (and perhaps he’s wallowing in misery and would rather be too lazy to fix it). 2) He might have gotten LJBF’ed in the past and stopped trying to become friends first, because of that. But still, he had the… Read more »

WideboyOfTheWesternWeb
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WideboyOfTheWesternWeb

If anybody here needs an emetic, here is an article from the Atlantic guaranteed to make you chuck up your cookies.

“The Weaker Sex

How the new gender economics has more and more professional-class women looking at their mates and thinking: How long until I vote you off the island?”

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/10/the-weaker-sex/309094/?single_page=true

How long will men put up with these smug bitches?

FuriousFerret
Guest
FuriousFerret

Alright, Let me put this in clearer terms. GeishaKate through the hamsterator said: ‘I want a man that has experience with women. I want a man that is pre-selected’. She simply used covert communication to get her message across along with the handy plausible deniablity that comes with it. ‘Women communicate covertly, men communicate overtly. Men convey information, women convey feeling. Men prioritize content, women prioritize context.’ – Rollo http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/the-medium-is-the-message/ You are trying to argue through low probablity examples and using subterfuge. Let me put this way the vast majority of beta males without much sexual experience do not ‘understand… Read more »

GeishaKate
Guest
GeishaKate

“You are very much like a normal woman.” HAHAHAHAHA! Be careful in your zeal as you’ve made a lot of incorrect assumptions about me. I can’t say whether being a normal woman is one of them or not. LOL I find it endlessly amusing that men somehow expect women who are on these blogs to be anything other than women. Do you seriously want/would you be interested in a man in a woman’s body? No. As much as men rail against women, they still want them. And they pretty much still want the same ones they had before only with… Read more »

GeishaKate
Guest
GeishaKate

I think you’ll find that both Emma and I have a soft spot for some beta traits and we very likely would give him a chance. Doesn’t mean it’d lead anywhere. That might blows your “normal” theory 😉

Rooster
Guest
Rooster

I think you’ll find that both Emma and I have a soft spot for some beta traits and we very likely would give him a chance. Doesn’t mean it’d lead anywhere. That might blows your “normal” theory

“Doesn’t mean it’d lead anywhere” = you might find something attractive about him but without those arousal queues, he’s getting no where.

Well a perfect illustration to the post, case closed, good night 😉

Mark Minter
Guest

The LA Times had an article this evening about a new fetal genome analysis without requiring the father’s DNA. It has a hook that pertains to this post. Cuckolding. Here is blurb from the article followed by a link to the article “In the past, fetal-genome analyses have involved getting samples of DNA from three places: the woman’s blood cells (to identify her genome), the woman’s blood plasma (to detect fetal DNA in addition to her own) and cells from the father-to-be’s saliva (to know for sure what bits of his DNA the fetus inherited). But sampling the man’s DNA… Read more »

GigoloKen
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GigoloKen

Is GeishaKate and Emma the same person and have been playing me?

Emma the Emo
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Emma the Emo

FuriousFerret, I’m actually just arguing semantics. I know that the word “understand” in GeishaKate’s description of the perfect man probably has a meaning different from its original one. I decided to chime in because I found some men who knew a lot about women and what they like, but still got stuck in incel for years. It seems MRA sites have these guys. My boyfriend used to be like that before we met. So it seems to me you can know a lot, yet still not transform into a man women find attractive (although, a year after we got together,… Read more »

GigoloKen
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GigoloKen

Actually MRA sites have burned fucked over divorced guys. PUA sites have incel guys.

This site isn’t really either.

Emma the Emo
Guest
Emma the Emo

No, we are definitely not the same person 🙂 Why is this a suspicion?

GigoloKen
Guest
GigoloKen

FuriousFerret and I thought that from this comment.

“I think you’ll find that both Emma and I have a soft spot for some beta traits and we very likely would give him a chance.”

Emma the Emo
Guest
Emma the Emo

GigoloKen,

I guess you’re right about incel guys being on PUA sites.

Simon Corso
Guest
Simon Corso

“He said she went around with her feelings out in front of her with an arm around the feelings’ windpipe and a Glock 9mm. to the feelings’ temple like a terrorist with a hostage, daring you to shoot.”

― David Foster Wallace

John
Guest
John

Jezebel, a super-structure rationalization hamster. Could argue thats what the internet is turning into primarily. The great thing with super structure rationalization hamsters is you dont have to do a lot of work. Its pretty much all done for you.

GeishaKate
Guest
GeishaKate

No, we are not the same person 🙂 I guess neither of us have a picture up any longer, but those who know us could chime in, or you could probably tell from our writing styles.

Yes, case closed, good night!

GigoloKen
Guest
GigoloKen

Good night GeishaKate.

Just so you know I would like to clear up misconceptions about Gigolos.

Gigolos aren’t prostitutes. That’s simply a myth.

They simply take old women and gay men out for a good time.

In no way is sex ever involved, well except when they pay them to have sex.

Sounds a lot like Geishas actually.

http://www.ginacolliasuzuki.com/japanese_prints/2010/02/did-geisha-engage-in-acts-of-prostitution.html

‘Anyway, in conclusion, whilst geisha may not have been full-time prostitutes who relied upon selling sex for their income on a daily basis, they did engage in activities which would fall within the bounds of that profession.’

John Galt
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John Galt

“This is what a feminist looks like”

Mark, every time you post (Dalrock, here), you inspire me. Well done sir.

John Galt
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John Galt

Wideboy – wow, yes, this piece almost made me vomit. But to answer your question, hopefully not long. Pre red pill, I might have just viewed this is an interesting anecdote, even believing what she is saying is true. But now I can pull out passages from the article and can fluently translate from woman-ese… “my last therapist charged a murderous $275 an hour”. Yes, yes, thank you for reminding us that you can afford to pay somebody (another woman no doubt) $275 per hour to talk about how not haaaappy you are living the upper class lifestyle provided by… Read more »

Johnycomelately
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Johnycomelately

Mark Minter brutal but honest and true.

Jason773
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Jason773

Peregrine John, “I’m always looking for examples of, as you say, upping the alpha, being something I actively work on (for reasons similar to yours). Got any specifics you can impart?” Just internalize the mindset of wanting women, but not needing them. You can tell a woman you love her, can tell her that you care about her, and can show her some beta, but she needs to know that you don’t NEED her. Yes, if a good woman falls out of your life it might hurt you, that is simply normal and human, but you know that there are… Read more »

Ted D
Guest

I don’t know if I’d call it a Red Pill Epiphany. It was (and continues) to be a work in progress, but I can’t deny that despite the uncomfortable truths I learned and continue to learn, there is a sense of peace and contentment in knowing as well. If I had to describe how I am feeling at this point, I think the best description is that I’m beginning to feel like I know my place in the world. I’m also finding myself more content and generally pleased with how my life is going. It isn’t perfect, and I don’t… Read more »

Peregrine John
Guest
Peregrine John

I know the essentials, and the essence, Jason. I’m looking for specific examples. Without them, the theory is literally nothing. With them, you can gauge progress, extrapolate and interpolate proper behavior and habits, and, most importantly, instigate the correct internal framework.

The question stands. Hero’s second comment, apparently, languishes in blog purgatory.

Jason773
Guest
Jason773

Peregrine John, A few things I could give you, that you might already know though, would be to… 1) Direct, don’t ask. Say you are picking between two restaurants with your LTR. If you want her opinion, you can ask her “how do you feel about thai?”, as that is more of a closed question than “what do you want to eat?”. Either way, still make the final decision. 2) Playful slaps and grabbing of the ass, tits, stomach, etc. It makes them feel desired and feminine, while objectified at the same time. 3) Definitely fuck your chick, and tell… Read more »

Doc
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Doc

Being older than most on here, I’ve seen this non-sense over and over. I always found it interesting when I was in college long ago, women would say how they wanted X, Y, Z which wasn’t anything like me, but yet, they would come over for the night and then go back to their beta BFs. One of the most memorable was one whom I had known since she was a senior in HS – she actually got an idiot to marry her by playing the chaste virgin in college, and after every date with this idiot she would come… Read more »

Animal Mother
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Animal Mother

Men giving a shit about what women want is the real problem. Women don’t know what they want 99% of the time so why waste time even thinking about it? Fuck em.

Peregrine John
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Peregrine John

Jason: Some I knew, some I didn’t, all are welcomed. Thanks!

itsme
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itsme

I had a rule about hats. No men wearing baseball hats. If a man was bald, I wanted him to own it. I broke my rule once because he looked like he had kind eyes. I shouldn’t have. The hat was a symbol of a deeper problem.

what was the deeper problem?

Rafael
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Rafael

Why isn’t all that obvious to all men?

The Lone Planet
Guest
The Lone Planet

TIME: A man’s best friend and a woman’s worst enemy. Learn it, love it, live it.

Bogart
Guest
Bogart

GeishaKate: I’m a long time manosphere reader and some time frequent commenter. I’ve been around since before you started commenting and have read many of your comments. For that reason I think you are a good-hearted and cool woman, much more willing than most to expose yourself to the pain of pretty lie destruction. But even you are subject to the same female blindspots sometimes. I agree with Furious’ deconstruction of your comments wholeheartedly. I would add something else. You state that you want a lot in a man because you offer a lot. But the question is, by which… Read more »

FuriousFerret
Guest
FuriousFerret

‘I am not saying this to attack you, and I do agree that you have worth. But let’s be frank, your worth is of the type that is only appealing to older beta males. This means you should narrow your “list” to guys over 50 who don’t have any current wives, diseases, or deformities, and then feel lucky if you are able to score anything beyond that —- and be THANKFUL for it.’ LOL. She’s not that bad looking dude. She’s average and unfortunately over the wrong side of 30. Anyways I thought she has a guy. Some kind of… Read more »

FuriousFerret
Guest
FuriousFerret

I messed up with italics.

But when I first saw that her handle was WHOREkate I knew that someday I had to troll it.

Fixed.

GeishaKate
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GeishaKate

@ itsme: insecurity; didn’t feel good enough. A man who says he isn’t good enough for you is right by the very fact that he said that. @Bogart: I understand what you’re saying. I know I don’t offer the same things a younger woman does. I do feel I have a lot to offer in the way of femininity though. But, yes, what I was saying above was basically that if a guy isn’t even as much of a man as I am, its not going to work 😉 I agree I have blindspots, but I’m not sure I want… Read more »

Obsidian
Guest

Hey RT,
Thanks for stopping by the O-Files. When you get a chance, drop me a line; we should talk.

theobsidianfiles@hotmail.com

O.

deti
Guest
deti

Peregrine John:

If a wife is voicing arousal for another man, he needs to up the alpha.

1. This is one of those times when indifference is required. “You want out of the marriage and sex with someone else? You know where the door is.”

2. Dread: “if you want sex with someone else, it’s your choice; but if you take one step down that road, we’re done.” NOTE: DO NOT say this unless you are 100% ready and willing to make good on that.

sunshinemary
Guest

Unfortunately the reverse of this situation is the reality – the vast majority of men must fight an uphill battle from beta origins to Alpha transformation.

And the hill is even steeper for the Christian man because the Church tends to beat men with the shame stick pretty relentlessly. So he marries a born-again virgin and blames himself when she cheats on him.

Hero
Guest
Hero

@Peregrine John Ok, here’s another go at your question… Look up the 16 Commandments of Poon. That stuff is pure gold. Ponder each point seperately and think about how it fits into the whole picture of who you are. For us married guys I’m not advocating cheating to fullfill rule “Always keep two in the kitty” but go ahead and flirt with women. Realize that women are not hard to come by. You could go get another one if you wanted to. Foster the sexual energy that you have. If you are dealing with problems then stop talking about them.… Read more »

nek
Guest
nek

@Mark Minter, you’re the man once again. @Ted D, I know the feeling, the depression part of the pill for me is beginning to subside and I just feel liberated. This comment section debate, along with the post, really cuts to the core of a semantics issue that is always around these debates. That issue being the word “attraction” (side note: after reading the post before people commented I immediately thought this applied to Emma the Emo based on previous comments I’ve read). I like to give this example, it’s the first time I turned down an easy one-night stand:… Read more »

zack
Guest
zack

The “Perfect Woman” would be one where you could talk to her like this and she’d understand. Too bad she will NEVER exist. I had a great talk with a couple of my friends tonight, all alpha in their own respect and in quality LTR’s. Could you ever tell a woman the whole truth? “Hon, I love our relationship and all, but, honestly, I see this chick in yoga class every Wednesday and I want to fuck her brains out. It’s killing me inside.” We all came to the conclusion that you CAN’T ever tell a woman the whole truth.… Read more »

Emma the Emo
Guest
Emma the Emo

zack, I think a woman with any knowledge at all would know deep down that you are still attracted to other women and probably have sexual dreams about them or wonder what they look like under their clothes. However, going on and on about it is inconsiderate, as most women find that stuff hurtful. You can’t talk to your wives like they are your male friends. But wives also can’t talk to their husbands like they can with their close female friends. A spouse is to be treated somewhat differently from just a friend, but it doesn’t mean there is… Read more »

gregg
Guest
gregg

Perfect man? What women want? What are we searching for? Are we willing to know what does it mean “the perfect man” or what women “want” – only to be BETTER SLAVES? Are we so blinded by steam from our gonads that no matter what we know, we still stumble ignorantly/ in semi comatose state, into relationships with women and we are still willing to do everything just to have pussy? Mastery of women means that we are no longer their tools as we have been designed (natural state of man is slavery to women – pure evolution) but we… Read more »

gregg
Guest
gregg

@ Mark – you seem to realize that your whole married life was a con job. You are no exception, but it is definitely not the mistake of your wife. Actually you are the one having two heads and you let the small one to dictate the terms.

Women are not bitches but you are stupido, comrade. Like most of us.

xsplat
Guest

That was a fun read about your shift in attitude towards work and women, Mark. It may be that living in SE Asia has given me different opportunities, but I seem to have come up with a very different solution to the problem of women’s fickle hypergamous natures. This morning I woke up to a hand cooked meal of fresh vegetables and fish, and a tall glass of freshly spun carrot juice. My girl worked on making some health supplement capsules for me, then got herself nicely made up, as we intend to go out shopping for toys. Pump and… Read more »

xsplat
Guest

Furious Ferret

A man that understands women is experienced with women. You still want a huge attraction indicator of pre-selection.

Good call.

The Lone Planet
Guest
The Lone Planet

Apathy is a beautiful thing.

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[…] Rational Male – Your Friend Menstruation, The Perfect Man […]

zyclonbeloved
Guest

As far as I know, I am being completely honest: I am “tall, rich, funny, sexy [I think], single, strong [I try (sometimes)], good-looking, [very (truly)] smart, romantic, charming, warm [under the right circumstances (efforts?)], sweet, sensitive, clever, athletic [for real!], kind, generous, punctual [important], sincere [not always], and of course am [not] willing to feed her ice cream in bed every night of the week.” Yet I am still yearning for, yet without, her…

Lumpy
Guest
Lumpy

> Yet I am still yearning for, yet without, her…

If you quit being a bitch, that’ll help.

Peregrine John
Guest
Peregrine John

An excellent selection, Hero. Many thanks. Turns out I mostly know what to do. Just gotta feckin’ do it.

Hero
Guest
Hero

@Peregrine John Open yourself up to experimentation. Try lots of different things and see what works. Don’t be afraid to fail and don’t be afraid to be an asshole. Experimentation is key. Our culture has attempted to program us with vast numbers of expectations and rules for relationships. Break rules just for fun. You won’t know what really works or if it was just something somebody told you to do unless you experiment. Just don’t be wishy washy about it. Try something with conviction. Keep an open mind and watch the results. Then incorporate that new information and behavior into… Read more »

Ad Fortitudo
Guest
Ad Fortitudo

@rollo

Do you disagree with Athol Kay that the best option for a woman is a man with both alpha and beta traits?

That is to say, wouldn’t a man with great genes/physicality/confidence as well as financial stability and kindness be the “perfect man” for a woman?

Wouldn’t that satisfy both her short term and long term mating strategies?

I get the sense that it is in absence of men that have both traits that women seek out these different qualities in separate men under short and long term circumstances.

GeishaKate
Guest
GeishaKate

Great point. That ^ is the true manicorn. That is what I mean when I say I’ll take a “greater beta with fries.” 🙂

I LUST FOR GEISHA KATE
Guest
I LUST FOR GEISHA KATE

GEISHA KATE I WANT YOU NOW

GeishaKate
Guest
GeishaKate

^^^^ What the heck? LOLOLOL

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[…] Up the Alpha. Related: The Perfect Man. […]

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[…] Lately, I was thinking about the tendency of chicks to drone on and on about how the dudes *they* want are the total opposite of what we all preach. Some girls will wander into manosphere comment threads, others have their own site dedicated to hooking a man (smartly), and still othertimes we see it in real life. They all claim they just want this Better Beta (TM). Many people say that it is girls being unaware of what they want or confusing attraction for arousal. […]

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[…] The constant, feminine primary entitlements women have been conditioned to expect from idealized Men becomes the means of their worst […]

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[…] seeking article from a young girl (early 20’s) who was exasperated over finding the “perfect guy” only she couldn’t ‘get with him now‘. Her words were something like […]

rugby11ljh
Guest
rugby11ljh

“Attraction is not Arousal”
Alpha is a mindset

Cheryl
Guest
Cheryl

Dear Bogart.. it’s amazing after reading your reply to GK ..it all made sense to me. I always wondered why men went for who they went, it was always a bit frustrating but you analogy made it clear.