ThirtyzDude from the SoSuave forum has just recently seen the light of pragmatism with regards to Spinning Plates. For me, one of the best things about the newly Unplugged is reading their fresh perspective of women’s behaviors in their, now, Game-aware context. Sometimes their fresh observations come as a jolt to their system. They realize, with some measure of shock, that the behaviors and rationales they’ve been conditioned to take for granted on for so long are actually strategies to insure the best hypergamic result for women.

Other times, their observations are truly revelatory,..

I’ve been noticing an interesting trend with many of these women: the ones that are willing to have sex within 3-6 dates typically don’t talk about it – when it happens it happens. When they talk about sex a lot, and try to convince me that they really like sex, it often doesn’t happen. They begin to make excuses, they say they want me but they don’t want to do anything they regret. My thoughts when this happens: wtf?

I partially covered this dynamic in the now infamous Wait For It? post:

If  she’s perceiving your value as as high as it should be, she wont hesitate longer than a few dates to become sexual – and she certainly wont tell you she’s making you wait. Hypergamy doesn’t afford a woman much waiting time with a Man she sees as superior stock.

One of the more frustrating situations I often encounter comes from guys who’ve been OVERTLY told that they’re being made to wait for sex until some circumstance or criteria is met for the woman. The standard filibuster (or loss-leader as the case may be) usually comes with the reasoning that she “needs to feel comfortable” before she has sex with a guy. Even more distressing is the guy who was getting laid, only to be told the same thing by an existing girlfriend. If you find yourself in either of these situation there are a couple of things to bear in mind.


If you find yourself at 2am with a woman you want to bang or, God forbid, a group of women who want to go out for pizza or tacos (usually to sober up) after dancing at the club, understand, you’re being filibustered. When a woman has minty fresh breath and is one drink in, you’ll be getting laid, however, you will not be having sex with a woman when she’s full of pizza, coming down from a buzz and her breath smells like garlic.

I can remember a time in my twenties when I had a policy of never taking a woman I wanted to bang out for dinner. This was partially due to me being broke most of the time, but also because I found that the girls who suggested such-and-such restaurant as a date venue were never up for sex that night. These were typically the girls who “wanted to know I wanted them for more than just sex.” If you ever hear a woman utter that sentence, know that it’s a prime example of a filibuster. It sounds like prudence – she wants to vet you for boyfriend status – but the truth is she’s putting you off while she waits to see what her other 3rd (or 4th or 5th) party options might develop into.

Women with a high interest level wont confuse you, but if she’s not thoroughly convinced of your status a woman will generally default to some form of filibuster. This goes back to the medium being the message for women, however, for men, one of the more confusing strategies of hypergamy is the female filibuster because it appears to promise a future reward if a guy is patient enough to wait for it.

Girls don’t talk about the sex that they’re going to have – they talk about the sex they’re not going to have.

ThirtyzDude makes an astute filibuster observation in his post; the more a woman talks about sex and tries to convince you of how much she likes sex, the less likely she is to actually want to have sex – with you. There’s a certain self-convincing that goes along with this for women who’ve already assessed for themselves that they will not be fucking you. The necessity to convince themselves, and you, that they are in fact sexual conflicts with the subliminal assessment that they don’t want to bang you.

Like ThirtzyDude I discovered that the women who were going to be sexual (DTF) didn’t feel the need to prove to themselves, and me by proxy, that they liked sex. This isn’t to say the DTF women didn’t talk dirty or act flirty, but their sexual interest was communicated by covert innuendo, never overt declarations. In other words the sale was assumed and we could progress on to verbal foreplay, not brinksmanship.

There’s a trite cliché that guys like to assume about women; a woman knows within five minutes of meeting you if she’ll bang you. I don’t necessarily agree with this notion, but I do think that a woman knows within five minutes of meeting you if she WONT bang you. You’ll often see this played out when women insert casual filibusters into conversation about having a boyfriend (boyfriend disclaimer) with guys who’ve too blatantly telegraphed their over-interest in becoming intimate with her. Attraction is not a choice, but too many guys think that it could be if they were convincing enough.

Generally, women who enjoy sex don’t go about advertising it, they just do it. I’ve stated before, a woman who wants to fuck you will find a way to fuck you. That may seem like a simple matter of logistics, but a woman who wants to bang you will find ways to fuck you that include self-rationalization, denial and lies of omission in order to bang you when her interest level is such that she’s motivated.

When a woman, and in particular one whom you’ve yet to bang, overtly explicates how much she enjoys sex, in essence she’s playing a slut by proxy. The strategy is to convince men she’s just as sexual as the women she doesn’t feel comfortable competing against. She can’t, or wont, match a “slut” by playing her game in real life, but she can allude to her alleged sexuality safely behind a filibuster. The real conflict arises when it comes time to have sex and her bluff is called.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

34 comments on “Filibuster

  1. Eh. My experiences have been mixed. I think that her talking about sex and how much she likes it is an indicator based largely on the context of location and surrounding.

    The three times that I’ve been drinking one on one on the patio, with women I hadn’t slept with yet, where conversation has turned to sex…. I closed that same night. One it was the first night knowing her. One was a temporary room mate for the summer that I’d been flirting with. One a friend from high school I hadn’t seen since.

    I personally think the conversations were a way for them to hamster themselves into not being a slut, or maybe trying to make it so that I didn’t perceive them as a slut for sleeping with me. For the second two I’m also pretty sure it was a shit test that I passed that also changed their opinion of me and flipped me from ‘that nice guy/friend/flirt’ to the guy they want to have sex with. I subtly led the conversations so that sex talk was about rough sex and things that I like to do that I bet she likes to do as well. Worked for me. It was like they handed me the keys to their sexual preferences and told me to take her for a ride.

    When Sex Talk DOESN’T work is in any other, non-private location. I’d also say any situation not involving alcohol. Doesn’t matter if there’s other people there or not, if its not a place where you could sweep her off her feet and into the bedroom, it’s not going to happen. Even in theatre, with tons of ‘liberated sexual women’ the sex talk is not a sign of good things ahead. Usually it means you’ve been cast into the role of beta orbiter that is supposed to nod along, not say a word, while she talks of the sex she likes and imagines other men besides yourself doing it. It would take a huge shock to her system to take her out of that and show yourself to her in a different light.

    1. I agree with a point you’ve brought up here, from experience as well. For the most part, when girls I’ve ended up banging brought up sex it was by all means a shit-test, and a blatantly obvious one at that. A shit-test I learned to pass before I knew what Game or shit-tests were.

      But, girls who I haven’t (or wouldn’t have) banged who’ve brought up sex only did so after I’d friend-zoned myself for the most part; when they were comfortable, or we were just having a conversation about it in general. But in that blurry not-yet friend-zone region when they aren’t entirely sure what it is they/I want, it’s been a different experience with different girls. Again, typically brought up as a shit test, but also as a way of overtly communicating they won’t have sex with me *that night* – especially if it’s about someone recent they’ve banged or their ‘boyfriend’ – and if I know their last bang, to gauge my reaction, if I care, etc…The same girls then (& I can only think of one who talked about sexual shit with me that I didn’t bang – but then again were the circumstances different I would bet a grand I would have if I’d wanted to make it happen) wait for me to make a move on them the next time we’re alone, the interaction almost always initiated by them (if I’ve ‘passed’ the ‘shit test’) – and it is laughably obvious that they await me to manhandle them. Some to the point of sending nudy pics after they’ve become “comfortable” – without my asking for said pictures; one of the many staple-points in my unplugging & what led me to game; when girls started to respond to my behaviors in ways that I thought were otherwise exclusive to like movies or player-dudes I’d occasionally meet or befriend.

      I’ve also found that if a girl EVER talks about being ‘taken advantage’ of by a guy (I’m not sure how to explain it entirely) or how she can’t believe so-and-so just pounced on her and she didn’t know what to do – especially if you’re alone or are going to be alone – and she’s in particular ensuring you’re alone; it’s been my experience that this is a huge HINT wink-wink legs wide open, that she wants you to take her like a man – basically whenever you want to/ the situation is right – i.e., she’s invited you over & all her roommates happen to be “out” – or she decides to leave her boyfriend at the bar to come back to your place – I mean shit’s usually pretty fucking obvious. But it’s a delicate game with these girls who bring up the ‘rape-whistle talk’ I’ll call it, because they want you to appease their emotional irrationalization of being sexual on top of you having to maintain frame & basically casually brushing it off as, well, what the fuck else did you expect going to Vegas with your boss on an paid-for weekend ‘work’ trip, or who wouldn’t have done the same thing were they alone & drinking wine in a candle lit room with you, etc..

      I remember specifically talking to this girl I’d inadvertently been gaming & later was banging (after some really funny and eye-opening shit-test conversations/interactions, again before I was aware of Game), telling her something along the lines of “When you get back from the platonic all paid for ‘work’ trip, don’t tell me how you were raped, just tell me how long it took for him to make a move,” the conversation we were having permitted such talk, or whatever it was I said along those lines. Of course, when she got back we met up and mid sentence while saying she was ‘taken advantage of’ she corrected herself recalling our conversation, & some how re-rationalized her being sexual with this person she was using for a free trip to Vegas, and it was then set in stone that the shit test’s were done & I’d soon be in her bed with free breakfast in the morning.

      Then of course, there are girls that just talk about sex because they haven’t had it in a long time – like broke up with a 3 year long boyfriend. All bet’s on her within 2 – 3 months (depending on the type) starting a cock carousel ride, and if you play your cards right, you’ll be one of the later “regretted” “assholes” she “dated” before she met the next “one”.

      Point being, it’s different with all women, and depends on the scenario. But chances are if she’s talking about sex, and dependent upon how, it’s up to you to respond in a way that she doesn’t expect, so that things moves forward rather than remain stagnant, or you become LJBF’d by reacting/responding…’beta’ I suppose.

      And I do agree too that those who don’t talk about sex, find a way to fuck you, without a doubt – if they want to. That goes without saying, hence why they don’t say anything, and before you know it you’ve made it into a

      So it is, like most things, circumstantial, and dependent on many factors.

      In my experience, talking about sex is a shit test. But this is only when it comes to dates/being one-on-one/already established partially gamed girls. If sex talk is in a group setting it’s completely different, and again dependent upon circumstances what said girl is hinting at when/how the topic’s breeched.

      My far more than two cents. Neat.

      1. I’ve been thinking about this while working and want to add something about the method of conversation on top of the situation. Took me a bit of reflection as two of the three bangs I got were pre red pill and a ton of the friend zone ones were as well.

        If she drops any names, any at all no matter how minor, quickly, or subtly hinting she’s talking of a specific person; you have a high powered friend zone shield to burst through. Or a super shit test to pass.

        If she leaves it generalized, no names, no specific instances, etc, AND you’ve been flirting and escalating kino; you have a minor shit test mixed with flirtation and a hamster that wants to jump your bones and say ‘it just happened’ after handing you the keys to her pussy. Basically, don’t fuck up and she’s yours.

        Granted, maybe I’ve just run into outliers, but these girls we’re nothing alike in personality, jobs, social environments, etc. One was a white trash theatre major, one an unemployed texas trust fund baby, and one a chef back in te US to renew her visa before going back to germany. Only thing in common is that atleast two of the three were sluts. I’m guessing the third is as well, but still running the slut tests for tells on that. So far, signs point to yes.

        1. Hey LEap of a Beta how does one go about passing such a shit test? You guys keep bringing it up but I find no answers.

          1. What I did was calmly escalate the conversation.

            For me each time it was on a patio, with the seating arranged that there was distance between us but facing one another as we spoke and drank. Before the conversations I was escalating kino every time I could, but during the patio conversations there was none. Would have been awkward to try, plus it makes for a nice lull in the kino so that she doesn’t get over saturated.

            As the conversation turned to sex, I basically stayed the same level of interest and excitement as I had the rest of the conversation. Literally, changed nothing. Stayed leaning back, taking up space, drinking, legs crossed. Discussed it with amusement, as if she obviously has the same tastes I do. If she wants to lead, let her. Don’t interrupt and look too hasty/interested. Don’t override her if she gets caught up in emotions, just egg her on, make sure she speaks in generalizations, and that you always speak in first person about what you like to do.

            If this conversation of sexuality was a japanese garden, you’re strolling through it, with her arm through yours, stopping when you want or when she makes an exclamation at a particularly pretty flower. Make sure to point out the negative space.

            All of this should be in congruence with your kino and subject escalation through the first part of the evening/day. Its how you pass it, by being the same person of the same interest level. Continue to do the same after the conversation, treating it merely like a phase shift as described in the game – escalate to another level, but always be congruent in showing her that you’re a sexual man, have a cock, and aren’t afraid to let her chase it instead of you chasing her.

            As for the friendzone kind of shit test…. I have no idea. All those that I went through were pre-red pill days. Now I tell them that I don’t want to hear about their sexual exploits. It shuts them up fast, though I have no idea how to pass it in a way that leads to sex with you.

        2. “If she drops any names, any at all no matter how minor, quickly, or subtly hinting she’s talking of a specific person; you have a high powered friend zone shield to burst through. Or a super shit test to pass.”

          Excellent point. If she brings up fucking a dude you know or are friends with, just act like Leap of Beta describes but then stop wasting your time with her for a while. If you really want to fuck her you’ve got to become a sexual being again in her eyes, one she wants to pursue, or is curious about at the very least. If you can, fuck/hook up with/be aggressively masculine with as many girls as she knows or as many as you want, really. Not blatantly obvious like you want her to know, but in a way so that she will eventually know, like it will grow on her, she’ll be hit with this WHAM of a “holy shit I didn’t realize the value of this Man in front of me that I’ve become so emotionally intimate with! ” sort of thing.

          Also, repeat: dependent upon the girl/circumstances & your relation with her up until that point – you’re likely, in these particular situations, being shit-tested as a post-LJBF, so it’s up to you to escalate things accordingly. Another thing which is difficult to explain, because it depends on the girl – friendzoned or not – I think if you’re patient, & maintain “frame” throughout your interactions with her, you can and will become a sexualized being she craves like a boyfriend she’s in love with if you play your cards right as the “friend”.

          You gotta just do your thing & still pursue/ fuck other women. Even better if she finds out through one of her best friends that you fucked; or something making her think about/ question why she didn’t realize how aggressive & sexual you were, based on your interactions with her. Then she’ll wonder why you don’t see HER as a sexually attractive being, and will pursue gaining the arousal or activation of you pursuing her for confirmation of her attractiveness & desirability. At least, that’s been my experience. She’ll pursue you till she’s exhausted all means if she finds out you really aren’t a “Friend” guy, but you’re a guy who fucks girls that she WANTS ,and you’re a guy who is discreet about your sexual exploits ’cause she had no idea until her Bitch-FF got you first.

          Essentially, the more girls she knows that you are with or even as simple as that you try to hook up with, the better chances you have at reclaiming your position as a desirable sexual thing with a cock to ride. This is KEY too, and probably goes without saying: but, imo being rejected by a girl – say one you try to make out with (if you know her, as a friend, colleague, co-worker, classmate, etc…someone you’ll see again for sure) – is, or can be, simply a shit test, & just like the sex talk, how you [re]act/respond/behave Before &/(should be = to) After the rejection shit test, the more she’ll wonder…& subconsciously the process will have begun within her, if you’ve maintained frame.

          Like you’ve planted a seed wherefrom being sexual + not caring about rejection is made evident which to her can = he has options/+ he finds [me] (being her) attractive…& thus begins a whole new Game: the LJBF to LJBFB (can I coin that acronym? or is it already in use?); which is, I think, one of the most rewarding Game’s you can play with a girl if/ when you want/ While it can be aggravating, it’s pretty hilarious, & it’s quite easy simultaneously; it’s happened to me on more than five occasions, so it’s always made me wonder what’s so wrong with being LJBF’d in the first place in the pua-game realm. Then again, I don’t think a girl has ever literally told me that we were just going to be friends. I just think I established that right away & no questions asked never behaved otherwise, unless/until the time came.

          Oh, that fucking brings up a major point I think I’ve probably been trying to unconsciously get to: if you can, LJBF a girl before she gets the chance to do so to you. Make sure you’ve established control in that regards. YOU are off limits. Then, it’s really begun. & You’re at an advantage + are given infinite & ample time imo to do whatever you want really & to keep her as an option.

          Otherwise, I think there is only one benefit of being friend-zoned by a chick, and it’s precisely this topic: SEX. Once she’s willing to open up about sexual things (which means her and everyone she knows as well), you get to learn more about her sexual history/drives, her friends sexual histories/drives, & all the bullshit you’d think isn’t important or is a waste of your time because now you’re friendzoned, but really, I think being friend-zoned by hot chicks in certain environments is a must (like college for example). It’s saved me an STD or 12 & prevented me from pursuing girls I would have otherwise.

          So, anything a woman says to you = shit test. Pass them. You’ll get laid. A+

          As someone once told me: “Just don’t fuck up, and you’ll do great”.


          Off topic: what is “Love” in relation to Game?

          I don’t know if any of this made sense. I think there might be something valid in there, somewhere. I don’t even want to go back and read any of it myself. Shit. Sleepytime [Gorilla Museum, is a band].

          1. I like your point about using the girl as a pivot. I don’t have very much experience with it, only been able to do it once. From that and watching others do it, it seems you need to make it clear that you’re sexual, you’re friendzoning her, but enjoy her hot friends. All very difficult to accomplish without messing it up. Sound congruent with your experiences?

          2. Yeah, I think that sound’s about right.

            I have more to say at some point, but I’ve been writing a lot today.

            It’s hard to know how to write about any of this without sounding like an arrogant asshole boasting of his exploits; or without giving oneself away, ya know?

            I’m probably much like you Leap of Beta. Much like the most of us. Not quite Alpha but not necessarily Beta. Just somewhere in between depending.

            Guysables – that’s good stuff.

          3. Also, the name thing – again, that’s like fucking dead on though; ‘cept sometimes it’s not saying they’ve done anything directly, but hinting that they are curious about it, because someone else did, or something like that.

            It’s almost always & only been specifically the name of someone they know I despise. Usually the one competitor I have in those situations; always the biggest fucking tool – someone who is exactly like I was at some point in my life, hence I know everything he’s pulling at predict swiftly his every move – down to a science with some of these kids.

            And with a few girls I’ve decided not hook up with them simply because they hooked up with some dude I think blows elephant cock & don’t want to be his sloppy second. If it were any other bloke I wouldn’t care in those situations.

            And what’s funny is I’ve told this to girls after they’ve wondered why I didn’t pursue them, & we’ve talked about it.

            Me: “Do you want to know why, really?”
            Her: “I mean, yeah…” ”
            Me: “Had you not fucked ______, we’d be in a different room right now,”
            Her: “What!? Who told you? Yeah…I mean, I was drunk…”

            In kicks the rationalization hamster & then the bafflement of me having known for months or weeks or days what happened, and having said nothing, which seems to make them more interested because I respected/ didn’t seem to care but then mad because I do care and have judged them for fucking a dude I don’t like.

            I think I overanalyze some things too much. Oh well. That’s what the internet is for.

  2. One of the things i changed after unplugging was looking at the actions. I remember several women telling me that their friends like or love and me believing them even though the friend never showed an ounce of that “love”. A few weeks ago, a coworker sat next to me. She is ok looking. We talked about work related stuff. I tend to use kino on coworkers regularly. Suddenly, she changed subject and began talking about how much she likes sex. My gut told me something was wrong. Her body language didnt say the same about sex. Maybe i made her uncomfortable. Then i told her to show me how much she.likes sex just for the sake of hearing the womanese coming out of her mouth.

  3. Recently unplugged guys tend to confuse the Filibuster with the garden-variety shit test. A woman who finds you attractive will still challenge you in order to filter you out if you’re an AFC fraud. Filibustering, however, is not a shit test. (Or, it is, but it’s not worth trying to get around it.) A lot of guys see it as “playing hard to get” or sending “mixed messages.” Like the post says, sexual attraction will be telegraphed one way or another and a well-schooled DJ will receive and interpret the message. But if sex (the act) is not happening physically within 3-4 dates, move on.

  4. Rollo,

    Great stuff but what should a man do when he gets filibustered.

    I couldn’t find a solution in your article.

    I was filibustered twice in the past couple months and one of the girls specifically said that “She wasn’t comfortable yet”. I took her on another date and boffed her that night and I knew what she meant when she said it (thanks to your site).

    However please help us out and let us know a good move to pull, line to use or attitude to have when the filibuster comes out. (nexting, flipping the script, saying you want to take it to the next level, etc)

    Keep up the great work btw.


    1. The go to move for resistance is to just acknowledge what she says, with an “uh huh”, but then act like you didn’t hear it, and escalate kino until she stops you. When she stops you you can back off and wait for her to come to you. Rinse and repeat.

      You don’t even have to verbally acknowledge her words. You can just back off. Either way you are relentless. As long as she doesn’t stand up to get away from your tentacles, she is telling you to continue.

      Basically ignore her words and work on getting her body aroused. No doesn’t mean no, exactly.

      But this only works if the girl is letting it work.

      1. I like that approach because it rather kills any real deniability on her part that she didn’t want it to happen. When you make her want to rip off your clothes, the hamster can spin but who will listen to its squeaks?

        That, and it’s a lot of fun to have her pull you to her in lusty frustration after you tease the hell out of her.

        It’s also a good way to see if there’s no chemistry. If she’s not responding to the hot & heavy teasing, it’s probably time to move on.

  5. I’d distinguish between a woman who is traditionally moral, chaste and forthcoming about it, and a woman who says “yes, but.”

    The fillibuster girl falls into that category of “we’ve established what you are, madam; now we’re just haggling price.”

    On the other hand, LoLo Jones… I’d be willing to wait until wedding night to hit that. A woman who is conscientiously moral, willing to give up a lot of fun carousel rides, in order to give herself more fully to her husband in a Marriage 1.0 model? That’s worth the wait.

    1. Where’s the PUA’s Guide to Unearthing Pure Women, Virgin’s, Unicorn’s, & Non-Whore’s of a Legal Age to Game & Deflower Guide?

      I’d like to meet a girl with morals; at least, one that follows them consciously. It’d certainly – doubtlessly – manifest a manhamster & corresponding wheel to begin to spin within me.

      God help me.

  6. Do not give a fuck about her and do not give a fuck what woman talks about. Either you are fucking her or she has no value. Either she sucks your cock or facilitates your mission some other way or she is nothing. And even if you are fucking her she has still only the value that corresponds to things she is doing for you right there and right now. If she behaves, ok. If not, her value drops – she has NO value.

    Sorry to be so mean but this is simple rule that used to be known and were observed for ages. Stop analyzing their words and behaviour as if they were soo important. I tell you a secret. THEY ARE NOT. What is strange is that “momentum” is precisely the core of hypergamy. Unhampered by gratitude, morals, responsibility, ideas, soul. Momentum is what is important. Your past and effort does not mean a shit. But her past and effort mean A LOT to you. Hmm?

    Momentum. This feeling and understanding in a guy comes naturally once he trully understands women. Every man I know that trully understood women, adopted, more or less, unconsciously, this behaviour. If you somehow happen to see things her way, it is impossible to escape this feeling. She owns only momentum of you. After this – there is nothing to talk about.

    1. Can you expand on what you mean by “momentum”? Do you mean her momentum toward you? Or your momentum on your own path? Please elaborate.

  7. I learned to always be escalating towards the bang awhile back after dating a woman that made me jump through hoops for a month before giving me the LJBF speech. I was disgusted with myself for wasting the time I did on her it changed my entire dating life. Now I escalate immediately, make my intentions known, and waste little time/money trying to get them naked. If there’s no bang by date 3-4 you’re not her #1 option so Next. Catch 22 is if I can bed them quickly I automatically dismiss her from relationship material and next her after a month or two for her sluttery. Brutal and selfish, absolutely. I was a nice guy in my 20’s, womanizer in my 30’s.

  8. Maybe filibustering could be also seen as a form of beta bait (higher order) to keep them orbiting a little longer with seemingly too good to be true, but ultimately – empty promises (tailored just right to the minds of the plugged in). A neat little tactic for the plate spinning attention whore in any women.

    1. Heh, something like?:
      A couple of years ago, a chick working at a spa I’d attended, rather timid, very feminine, but clearly piqued. Although new, she already knew a lot about me and I also had a good rapport with the other masseuse there.

      As I asked her to accompany me to an ice show (yeah, a beta game country, this), she immediately blurted out her approval in a relieved voice. Which fitted my profile that she wasn’t in the greatest of demands, even with a face/body rate of 8/9 (stylish+slim+Sculpted Ass). THEN she started flaking and back-pedalling within a minute, I could almost hear the hamster-wheel spinning like a turbine (15 kWhs, I’d estimate). No, she was going on a cruise then, etc. etc… Let’s put all on hold. Let’s talk next time.

      Midair, midair!

      Seeing her the next time weeks later she was not any closer to willing to “commit” to anything. Should have built even more comfort over time, but with the appointments weeks apart and no chance of getting her number, I pulled the ejector handles (the parachute opened, BTW).

      I feel she was really interested to a certain point but then her timid, introverted, loner mode kicked in and she didn’t want to move from her nerdy “comfort zone”. Just enough that she can feel wanted while touching those muscles…

  9. A girl that genuinely believes in morals and all that shit finds *covert* ways to make you wait.(yes there are still some out there)

    Pulling your hand up when you try and escalate downstairs is a prime example. Usually accompanied by a somewhat embarrassed smile and “not yet”. The passion will still be there, she is just watching her boundaries. Yeah it’s crap and you’ll bang her eventually, but whatever.

    But if she is laying out terms and conditions and qualifiers, like not until N dates or not until this or that, get the fuck out.

    Like you always say, Rollo, overt vs covert.

  10. A week and a half ago, I picked up a chick in a nightclub, made out with her, and banged her within five days. I’ve banged her two more times, with more on the way.

    The first bang happened so spontaneously. I was just sitting on her couch, doing my thing with her, and at one point she just got up, walked into her bedroom, and then stood in the doorway, naked. Not one word spoken. After the bang, she stood up and nervously said, “OMG, you now must think I’m a slut,” which I calmly assured her I don’t.

    The only mention of sex, and the only moment of resistance, was on the first date while laying on the grass of a city park. I suggested we rent a movie and watch it at her place, and she said “Oh I know what you’re thinking about, sex,” to which I replied “That’s not what I was aiming for,” to which she replied “Nice pun.”

    1. Ms: “Oh I know what you’re thinking about, sex,” (HTML works?)
      Mr: “Have you suddenly become a mindreader?”
      A neg + the truth.

  11. Joe is going in the right direction:

    “I’d distinguish between a woman who is traditionally moral, chaste and forthcoming about it, and a woman who says “yes, but.””

    Analyze the context of the situation. Is she saying “I luvvvvv sex but we have to wait until I’m comfortable” when you’re out to drinks/dinner/whatever…or when she’s straddling you on your couch, topless (like the last girl I dated).

    The first girl is using you. The second probably isn’t, since it’s a rare girl who will be alone and topless with a guy she doesn’t want to bang.

    Moral of the story: push the escalation fast and hard. Team Red a few comments above is a great example.

  12. I also have seen times when girls would talk about sex before doing it. In fact, that’s happened every time I’ve gotten laid. A girlfriend told me that we’d have sex after she got on birth control. Actually, she ended up banging me and THEN getting on birth control. A girl who lived 1,600 miles way said that we’d have sex after she drove across the U.S. to be with me. A week later, she arrived at my house, and we had sex. A girl from the Philippines told me she’d had sex with me after I flew overseas to be with her. That was exactly what happened.

    But yeah, whenever a girl has said that she wanted the situation to “feel” right before having sex, as opposed to just taking care of a few logistical details, that has never led to sex.

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