A little over fifteen years ago my wife was pregnant with Bebé Tomassi. For most of her adult life Mrs. Tomassi has been a medical professional (radiology) so when she was knocked up she and her girl-friends at the hospital would take any free moment they got to sneak into the ultrasound room a have a peek at our gestating daughter. As a result we have about 4 times as many ultrasound pics as most other couples get. I actually have images of Bebé as a multi-celled organism.
It was during one of these impromptu scannings that we discovered what gender our child would be. We were both more than a bit impatient and didn’t want to wait for the silly build up the OBGYN would make of revealing her gender, so we hit up a girl-friend of my wife to do another ultrasound around the right trimester.
She scanned for a bit and said, “Oh yeah, you’ve got a girl.” We asked how she could be so sure and she said, “Her hands aren’t in the right place.” We were like WTF? Then she explained, “Almost always when the baby is a boy his hands will be down around his crotch once he’s matured to a certain phase in the pregnancy. There’s not much to do in there, so they play with themselves. Your daughter’s hands are usually up around her face.”
After hearing this, it was at that point I began to appreciate the power of testosterone. Whenever I read someone tell me sex isn’t really a “need”, I think about how even in the womb the influence of testosterone is there. For better or worse, our lives as Men center on our capacity to control, unleash, mitigate and direct that influence. Socially we build up appropriate conventions intended to bind it into some kind of uniformity, to prevent the destructive potential and exploit its constructive potential – while personally we develop convictions, psychologies and internalized rules by order of degree to live our lives with its influence always running in the background of our subconsciousness.
Experience
Women become very indignant when trying to understand the male experience. This is due in most part to women’s innate solipsism and their presumption that their experience is the universal one. Part of this presumption is due to social reinforcement, but that social presumption – essentially the equalist presumption – is rooted in women’s base indifference to anything external that doesn’t affect them directly and personally. If everyone is essentially the same and equal, and we’re acculturated to encourage this perspective, it leaves women to interpret their imperatives and innate solipsism to be the normative for men.
So it often comes with a lot shock and indignation (which women instinctively crave) when women are forced, sometimes rudely, to acknowledge that men’s experience doesn’t reflect their own. The reactive response is to force-fit men’s experience into women’s solipsistic interpretations of what it should be according to a feminine-primary perception of what works best for women. On an individual woman’s level this amounts to denial and rejection of a legitimate male-primary experience through shame or implied fem-centric obligations to accept and adopt her experience as his responsibility. On a social level this conflict is reflected in social conventions and feminine-centric social doctrines, as well as being written directly into binding laws that forcibly enact a feminine-centric perspective into our social fabric.
Feminine solipsism and the primacy of the female experience superseding the male experience begins with the individual woman (micro) and extrapolates into a feminine primary social construct (macro).
Virtually every conflict between the sexes comes back to the rejection of the legitimacy of the male experience. As I’ve stated in the past, for one sex to realize their own sexual imperative, the other sex must sacrifice their own. In virtually every dynamic I’ve ever written about the fundamental lack of understanding the male experience influences women’s perception of our sex. Whether it’s understanding our sexual impulse, our idealizations of love, or appreciating the sacrifices men uniquely make to facilitate a feminine reality, the disconnect always distills down to a fundamental lack of appreciating the legitimacy of the male experience.
It would be too easy a cop out to simply write this disconnect off as an existential difference. Obviously men and women cannot spend time in each other’s skin to directly appreciate the experience of the other. However, since the Feminine Imperative is the normative one in our current social makeup the presumption is that a feminine directed ‘equalism’ is the only legitimate experience. Thus the masculine experience is, by default, delegitimized, if not vilified for simply reminding the feminine that inherent, evolved sexual differences challenge equalism by masculinity’s very presence.
I reject your reality and replace it with my own…
Men just being men is a passive challenge to the feminine imperative; red pill awareness is a direct challenge to the legitimacy of a feminine primary experience. It’s important to recall here that the primacy of the female experience begins on the personal level with an individual woman and then exponentially multiplies into a social (macro) scale. When you assert yourself as a red pill Man, you are asserting your disconnection from that feminine-primary frame. This begins on a personal level for a woman, and then extrapolates into a social affront for all women.
The initial shock (and indignation) is one of interrupting her comfortable, predictable expectations of men in the feminine defined, solipsistic reality she experiences for herself. As even the most rookie of red pill Men will attest, the legitimate female experience rejects this assertion, most times with an amount of hostility. As expected, Men are met with the socially reinforced, prepared responses designed to defend against attempts to question the legitimacy of the primacy of the feminine experience – shaming is often the first recourse, even most passive challenges warrant shaming, but character assassination and disqualifications based upon a feminine primary perspective are the go-to weapons of the solipsistic nature of the feminine mindset (even when men are the ones subscribing to it).
The next weapon in the feminine psychological arsenal is histrionics. Aggrandized exaggerations and overblown straw man tactics may seem like a last resort for women to the man attempting to rationally impose his red pill, legitimized, male experience, but know histrionics for what they are – a carefully design, feminine-specific and socially approved failsafe for women. In the same vein as a Woman’s Prerogative (women can change their minds) and the Feminine Mystique, female histrionics are a legitimized and socially excusable tactic with the latent purpose of protecting a woman’s solipsistic experience. She’s an emotional creature and your challenge to her ego only brings out the hysteric in her – it’s men’s fault that they don’t get it, and it’s men’s fault for bringing it out in her by challenging her solipsism. And thus is she excused from her protective histrionics at men’s cost.
It’s important for red pill Men to understand what their presence, much less their assertions, mean to the feminine; their very existence, just their questioning, represents a challenge to individual, ego-invested feminine solipsism. Always be prepared for the inevitable defense of a woman’s solipsism. Even in the most measured approach, you are essentially breaking a woman’s self-concept by reminding or asserting that her experience is not the universal experience. There’s a temptation for red pill Men to get comfortable with a woman’s who accepts red pill truths, only to find that her solipsism has only accepted the parts of those truths that its comfortable with and benefits from. That solipsism doesn’t die once she’s acknowledged the legitimacy of your experience, anymore than your sexual imperative dies if you accept her experience as the legitimate one.
I’m willing to entertain the idea that most of SSM’s difficulty swallowing uncomfortable truths are actually a result of letting her faith replace her critical thinking, rather than the FI.
Not that that makes much difference.
[…] Anonymous Reader: Is it just my mistaken impression, or do women as a group seem to have a real problem understanding the difference between “ought” and “is” ? “should be” and “are”? […]
I was watching the choir chick-flick “Joyful Noise” last night and it’s a perfect example of female think. All the ugly women are beautiful inside and out, and God’s purpose can’t be questioned; everything that happens is supposed to happen. For women and women minded men, reality can’t be swallowed unless should can be made equal to is. An almighty intercessor must intercede to give the authority of should to is, just to be able to start to come to grips with reality. Women’s utopian thinking seems literally insane to men. It’s too complicated for women to understand that describing… Read more »
Thank you, thank you, thank you, I’d like to think I might have figured some of this stuff out, but it would have been useless at 90 years of age. The stuff about feminine love is so obvious in retrospect that it’s embarrasing. Your arguments smash the case that deep emotions are female territory. You’ve got a great line in logical argument construction which presents a winning case in concise steps, all the more surprising in that that skill set normally belongs to guys who don’t figure girls. Only problem now is that I’m indebted, personally. Flinging some cash at… Read more »
Welllll,..the book IS going to drop this month,…
but my racers need the help.
Ah, shit….just getting caught up. Who the hell ever heard of Sunshine Mary…
Mr. Tomassi wrote: I would guess it is more of a response to SSM’s rather ugly histrionics fit to Rollo’s previous post. Ding! Ding! Ding! Tell him what he’s won Johnny,… Incredible. “Man”-o-sphere as soap opera. Your investment in personality over substance is feminine. One personal dig and you are writing a brand new theory about “red pill women.” You imbue your work product with pique, and it shows. Unfiltered amateur spew. Fuck her, I’m done with the red pill pick-and-pull “christians”. I tried to be cool, I made efforts not to refer to her kids, I try to christian-coat… Read more »
I guess the moralistic long con with Feministix isn’t bearing the fruit you thought it would ‘eh Matt?
Then again I guess it’s hard to get any traction with her when you’re competing against Army Ranger boyfriends and lesbian stripper girlfriends, right?
Welcome back.
For the love of Pete, both of you, shut up! Or I will reach through this screen and clonk your heads together. And don’t think I won’t do it! And then I’ll send the footage to the Discovery Channel for their special on “When Bitches Attack” if they don’t already have enough material from SSM;) Then, maybe- just maybe- we all behave like adults and try to get along again.
The reason women don’t believe things like the SMV chart is because it doesn’t reflect their current reality. Given how much the dating market has swung in women’s favour over the last few decades, i don’t believe that women in their 30’s now are going to have the same drop off in terms of options that the previous generations did. I have been working around women in their 30’s and 40’s for the last few months and i see ZERO signs of panic in any of them. You can say it’s just denial, and i’d really like to believe it… Read more »
Rollo touched on something I dislike about mainstream Christians As a Christain, one of my many beefs with Christians is the negative spin many of us put on things like our sex drive which has been programmed into us by the Alimghty. They do this with pride, anger and a boat load of other good masculine qualities. By in large, pastors, priests, theologians are terribly weak and fearful men. They fear masculinty as created by the Creator and want men to be more like them ie women. Being basically women, they are squashed in solipsism, and experts at deception and… Read more »
Rangers lead the way.
For fuck’s sake. Someone in the MS must FINALLY call this out. I guess it will be me—I’m willing to take the flack. I love Rollo. The dude is awesome. The fact that he has figured out what I am about to explain on his own individual observation is simply outstanding. He gets NOTHING but my applause. However, there is MUCH more to the story than what his astute observations reveal. Let’s all grow up, please. The females of our species did not just one day wake up and scream, “Go, girl!” No, it was funded. By international banks. Through… Read more »
Shall I go out on a limb and suggest that the mental attitude of women has to do with neoteny – or the closer resemblence women have to children. Physically AND mentally. If you look at children, they have an innate solipsism and view themselves as having less agency in an environement which they have little control over. Children tend to be more self absorbed and self centred too – because their “ego” hasn’t yet “separated” from their sense of being part of a bigger whole containing other people. Funny thing is that men tend to find more neotenous women… Read more »
“Funny thing is that men tend to find more neotenous women more attractive.” I have found that when I slip into something akin to this from time to time, it creates much bemusement. So much so that I have said: “I’ve been doing it all wrong. Here I have been stupidly being smart when I should have been smartly being stupid!”
@avd
Keynesian economics depends on women, yes? 80% of our economy is dependent on consumers. Women do most of the consuming and purchasing in this country. I think what you’re getting at is our economic and monetary system is designed to be dependent on the loose spending habits of women, rather than frugal men saving.
If this what you’re saying, I agree. At its root, our problems as a society are economic.
@Donttreadonmatt, I appreciate your comment. Economics is but a tiny sliver of the real issue. The banks PRINT money out of nothing. It’s NOT about money for them. It’s about control and domination. The ULTIMATE AMOG, for those of you who subscribe to such concepts. GBFM is very much on the money in this regard, although even he doesn’t push his analysis to its logical conclusion. Yes, the argument can definitely be made that this is all about pushing female consumers into the workplace to displace male jobs and increase their consumerism (see Aaron Russo interviews). But that doesn’t explain… Read more »
@Kate
The most attractive woman is the one who challenged you intellectually without it ever being apparent that you were being challenged until it was all over.
@Ton …one of my many beefs with Christians is the negative spin many of us put on things like our sex drive which has been programmed into us by the Alimghty. They do this with pride, anger and a boat load of other good masculine qualities. By in large, pastors, priests, theologians are terribly weak and fearful men. They fear masculinty as created by the Creator and want men to be more like them ie women. Being basically women, they are squashed in solipsism, and experts at deception and manipulation of words. I’m remembering lots of scripture from that part… Read more »
“It’s not so much any specific sect’s focus as it is the entire book is geared towards humbling people, which is very non-masculine.” The message is not to be a total reckless asshat. The message isn’t to act like a pussy. This is the simple hierarchy of being for a guy: Fluid ‘cool’ guy that is able to effortless be friendly and aggressive when the event calls for it -> Aggressive dickhead ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–> ‘nice guy’ who is submissive to the leaders. The church is terrified of the asshole and will castrate men to be total beta simps to avoid creating… Read more »
I never said asshole or pussy. I said the book is geared towards humbling anyone and everyone. In fact, I stand by what I said ferret, I can’t see how your comment alters, amends or adds anything to what I said.
@avd
I think the real question everyone wants to know the answer to is: how does YaReally fit into this conspiracy?
(lol sorry Rollo!)
@punk I think you do, actually. Based on your own comments over time, it is my belief that you are a textbook example of a casualty in all of this. You are fond of bashing the “Disney bullshit” view of things (paraphrasing). Have you ever actually taken the time to research who manages Disney, or who owns it? I didn’t think so. You have found your inner fire (where ‘game’ begins) and a method by which to fight back (RSD), and I’m happy for you on that front. Good for you, truly. That’s not a swipe, but a sincere kudos.… Read more »
Not to make this a religious thread, but it’s not the Bible, it’s the girly men who tell folks what the Bible says. King David, Abraham, Simpson, those men threw down hard, had multiple wives, drank, killed men, took what was their enemies stuff and made it theirs with none of the broken groveling preachers etc want from men now.
Brilliant observation on neoteny, Not Carrie Bradshaw. Women who can act like adults deliberately act like children because men find signals of youth attractive. Hence baby voices and make-up.
Matt
I’ve viewed the manosphere as saving the world one man, and thus one family, at a time. I’m not an Alex Jones type, but I’ve started listening to him lately because he plays awesome bumper music and he’s fucking funny as hell, especially when mimicking members of the illuminati. If there is a conspiracy or not does not matter to each individual man and family, because how we respond to the world and its current difficulties is the same regardless. I personally doubt that the NWO wants 5 billion people dead, with the remainder living under a neo-feudal totalitarian state.… Read more »
>> Ok, I’ll bite. Outside of the technicalities and artistry in knitting, what would I or any man be interested in precisely?
to make a garment.
it’s not women’s fault that you retained control of the (say for example) machine-shop universe; but allowed women to seize control of garment fabrication.
I made an attempt to read all 600ish comments in the SSM article but even doing so it was dizzying. Reading this here and how others came away from it, it’s more dizzying. Strangers talking online through comment posts. That seems like it ought to give several points down automatically on the “take personally” basis. I look more at projects. SSM and Dalrock have a project to apply red pill to shore up the efficacy of their value systems in a world that’s siphoned them off at every corner. It’s rear-guard work and odds of success are not looking favorable.… Read more »
““Funny thing is that men tend to find more neotenous women more attractive.” I have found that when I slip into something akin to this from time to time, it creates much bemusement. So much so that I have said: “I’ve been doing it all wrong. Here I have been stupidly being smart when I should have been smartly being stupid!”” Being smart is not a problem. Being smart AND thinking you are “special” for it is, for men and women. Humility is key, but it’s a value that has been obliterated from the face of the Western world. And… Read more »
Women in societies where traditional gender roles are valued do not act so much like the women described in this blog post. For example, when I lived in S. Korea and Japan, on several occasions local women asked me to explain he principles of Western feminism. Upon doing so, the local women often responded with mocking laughter and comments such as, “Do American women think that way to justify their large weight gains?” or “Is that a tactic they use to try to rationalize their own selfishness?” Women in some societies still enjoy being feminine and respecting biological, natural gender-roles.… Read more »
SSM’s hysterical reaction to Rollo’s post is probably a reaction to the events of her post about her daughters despite the mismatched dates. They are getting to that age and she suddenly realizes that they have the same drives as other young women. Her daughter is showing interest in the naughty boys, and that freaked her out. Her post on Christian men not being pansies and being truly attractive reads more like someone trying to convince themselves of something. If she can believe that the beaten, quivering lot in churches are attractive, then, by solopsism, so will her girls! Unfortunately,… Read more »
Dear Rollo Tomassi,
I think prenuptials would make a good topic for you to write about. Read the first woman in this advice column. It’s unbelievably eerie how well your analyses explain this woman’s thinly-veiled M.O. and behavior
http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2013-07-08/business/40430213_1_prenup-deal-breaker-marriage
Couple words no one will probably read then I’ll be out. First – thanks out to Mr.C for posting the Bill Burr link above and all the other snipets that links to. I’ve been doing heavy research/number crunching all day and ran that in the background, … much goodness. Second – a few thoughts that may bear on l’affair SSM, whether they do or not I leave to you. I apply something I call to myself “the foxhole test”. The way the foxhole test goes is I ask myself if we were being shot at, are “you” a “we”, i.e.:… Read more »
“You have a friendship with a person, not with a person and his or her ideology” from @Case I have a life long friend, we met in Kindergarten (and yes, that was a long time ago) and remained friends our entire lives. We have times where we see each other often, then, there might be times when we only see or talk to each other every few months. But regardless, when we catch up or talk, it is from a place of heartfelt friendship on both our parts. BUT, he and I share almost no common views on almost any… Read more »
I’ve gotten really weary of late. I’m disappointed in some of the influential women in the manosphere, and some of the male Christians who operate at the sphere’s fringes but employ its language and basic concepts. There’s a basic failure to acknowledge and appreciate the gravity and depth of the problems we face, or even to acknowledge them as problems worthy of solutions. Men come to this corner of the internet with real problems about sex, dating, pregnancy and divorce. Men also come here because they’re hurting and confused and afraid. At first they need a bit of understanding. But… Read more »
@Deti …The consistent thread running through this is a refusal even to acknowledge the existence of the sexual experience of the average male in the West… …when men talk about things bluntly and forcefully and without regard for feelings of others (as they are wont to do), the women are horrified by it. When confronted with a man’s raw pain in a difficult situation, they recoil in pearl clutching, gasping disbelief; or they spout platitudes. Or they respond with red-eyed rage when confronted with the manner in which men see sex and intersexual relationships. Hence Rollo’s post here. I don’t… Read more »
I’ve been reading around a lot of the smaller blogs by some really delightful, introspective people and there seems to be a lot of conversation about dating and how it should work and what men and women are looking for, etc. What I don’t see a lot of are dating journals or any evidence really that people are even trying to date. Nobody wants to fail, but if you aren’t willing to try, willing to err, it isn’t going to just miraculously happen that your dream soulmate shows up on your front porch in a puff of smoke. The way… Read more »
@deti I heavily agree with your whole post. “I’m beginning to believe that in terms of discussion on the internet, where it is still mostly anonymous, candid and explicit, not much is going to be accomplished with men and women together discussing intersexual relationships” I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: one of the big reasons the PUA community made so much progress in breaking down social dynamics so fast was that we didn’t have women in our community. Everything came down to logic and field experience. Even if you disagreed and fought with eachother, we all had… Read more »
I’m disappointed in some of the influential women in the manosphere, and some of the male Christians who operate at the sphere’s fringes but employ its language and basic concepts. Rollo really was prescient in this regard. I remember from day 1 he was correctly skeptical of the women claiming to be “red pill”. I remember thinking “No, some of these women get it”. Haha….in the end the solipsism is insurmountable. I’m beginning to believe that in terms of discussion on the internet, where it is still mostly anonymous, candid and explicit, not much is going to be accomplished with… Read more »
“The correct approach for all men is not to “convince” or “persuade” women of anything or any position. The answer is to learn how to communicate with women, have the right frame, etc. so that convincing is unnecessary. The other answer is to learn to walk away.” Yes, I think that’s correct. The way to do this is to state one’s position, calmly and carefully, without emotion or bombast, and then sit back. If responses are warranted, provide them. If you’ve made your points, don’t respond further. This really is becoming too emotional for too many people, which is to… Read more »
Agreed. However, I would like to add that I think women’s entry into the manosphere and “red pill awareness” such as it is, is just another extension of women’s obsession with forcing themselves into “all-male spaces”. It’s not that I can’t appreciate what women like Stingray do bring to comments threads, but for all of SSM’s handwringing about women feeling entitled to men’s space she and other “red pill” women are guilty of the same obsession. While I can’t entirely agree with Vox’s take that ‘women ruin everything’ I will say that the FI by way of feminism forces itself… Read more »
Interesting, I was thinking about the Three Laws of Robotics created by Isaac Asimov… 1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. All you need to do is substitute “robot” for “man” and “human being” for “woman” and you get the following… 1.… Read more »
I nearly shed a tear over these comments. You beautiful bastards. There are certain spaces for males that are sacred, where certain ideas are shared and certain bonds are made. Women should never be able to set foot in them. For even if they are in full agreement, their mere presence changes the experience.
@Underdog…”For even if they are in full agreement, their mere presence changes the experience”
My sentiments exactly.
Well…
I’m convinced.
I’m going to start ignoring the women w.r.t. red pill.
Rollo –
Is it possible to expose a hard-core blue-pill woman to red pill truths in a way that would validate the male experience? I have a friend who is the whole feminine matrix in a nutshell, and everything I say is wrong to her because I am a male. My life experience counts for nothing, because my world view is different from hers.
I don’t expect to change her mind. I just want to find some way to validate my experiences.
@David R.
Why are you seeking validation from her?
@avd I agree with you in broad terms that the apex people of society (mostly male but a few females as well) have been and are very much in agreement with the changes that have happened in society and encouraging female independence in order to acquire more votes, more consumers, more labor, and (in the case of the top men) more pussy. I would put the bigger and bigger level of gov’t spending (to replace the man as the provider in many cases), and misandrist laws and favoritism of females in the work place as bigger drivers than printing fiat… Read more »
I think that the primary lesson of Game is that one needs to have a life and purpose that makes a man happy and determined to wake up every morning. Once a man takes control of his life, then a woman becomes an interchangeable part of it like anything else. The road to that state only lies through relentless self-improvement and the shedding of prior limitations. Otherwise, the same brutal cycle repeats itself.
As I’ve stated before, a woman should only ever be a compliment to a Man’s life, never the focus of it.
These are not “male spaces” to be preserved or invaded. These are anonymous fora in which the most basic criterion for male exclusivity — one’s sex — remains elusive to prove and (sometimes deliberately) obscure. If you want to make a He-Man Woman Hater’s club, you will have to do more than fill out a WordPest questionnaire. Men’s clubs require some pedigree, a charter within the broader social milieu that goes beyond one protester’s preference to be surrounded by the same sex. What’s amusing is that this idea has gotten legs among you because Rollo had a spat with some… Read more »
Thanks for the strawman, Matt. I hereby call this session of the He-Man Woman Haters Club to order. The first motion is to dissolve. The Club, do I have a second? The motion is seconded. Ayes? Unanimous, the Ayes have it. Motion passed, the He-Man Woman Haters Club is now disbanded, end minutes.
The Shadowed Knight
These are not “male spaces” to be preserved or invaded. These are anonymous fora in which the most basic criterion for male exclusivity — one’s sex — remains elusive to prove and (sometimes deliberately) obscure. Huh? You really think there is a substantial number of women pretending to be men commenting? One sign of a “community” or “movement” in disarray is schisms over trivia. You become more and more cultish, heap more and more requirements upon membership, and refine your audience down to only the purest of the pure. A promising, lively project gathers new support and does not fixate… Read more »
Matt fancies himself as a King Leonidas and always want to cast me as his hedonist Xerxes antagonist. It’s easier for him to wrap his head around overblown archetypes of antiquity he read about in the liberal arts colleges he purports to hate so much.
He thinks I’m a self styled cult leader, when in fact the social movement that is the red pill moved past a need for cult leaders a long time ago.
I think that where the focus needs to be is on the self. Are you getting stronger, smarter, more disciplined every day. How are you managing the tough situations in life? Are you forcing yourself to go the extra mile at work, in the gym, with your kids? I think that if those questions can be answered then the female issues are naturally resolved. A man in control of his life will bend his relationships to his will, including his wife/girlfriend/kids/colleagues. Rollo has done a superb job of laying out the basic male/female psychology….in a way that I have never… Read more »
I do believe there needs to be a place for men to gather, but having it based upon virtual technology is really pretty silly. To have real affect, you’d have to see the Man eye-to-eye – you’d need to take time to get to know them. There used to be lots of Men-only clients – I believe there will be a swing back to that at some point. As far as venting and anger go – hell, It thought that was why the internet was here. I can come on, hide behind my avatar – rant, vent, get pissy, use… Read more »
@Tin Man re: “he is a card carrying NRA advocate, I don’t know that a normal citizen really needs anti-tank or armor piercing bullets and a tank”
Ha, lol…infekindeeed
But otherwise yeah…to the bigger point, people who get it, live. Those who don’t get a cold dank tower of their own ideological making. Hats off to you & your bro. Friends aren’t cheap.
@ David R.
First off, give some very serious consideration to Underdog’s question. Why is it important to you?
Second, if you decide that it is important you need to know two things. 1) A woman will only learn the things you wish her to know from a man she respects. 2) She won’t understand them unless she can feel them (the great majority of the time). You have to personalize it for her so she can actually feel it.
Side Note: Realize that there are going to be certain things that you cannot ever make her feel and that she is never going to understand.
@ donttreadonmatt
I agree with all that you said and would only add that not only are the children depending on the strength of that roof, but they are watching it intently so as to copy it for their own lives. Mom must respect Dad so Junior knows what to expect from his own wife. Mom must respect Dad so that Daughter knows how to treat her husband and all of this vice versa as well as daughters tend to marry men much like their fathers.
While I really appreciate Rollo for his balanced views on marriage, I take umbrage at his labeling of women as solipsistic in ways he claims men are not. Here are some examples of male solipsism: One in three children grow up in homes without their biological fathers. 40 percent of children whose fathers live outside the home have no contact with them. 70 percent of married men admit to cheating on their wives, compared to 50-60 percent of married women. In 2010, men were responsible for four out of every five DUIs. Men are much more likely to be incarcerated… Read more »
Oh, right…. lest I forget… that data is….all women’s fault, right? lol
@Ana Serene
You must be new here. Welcome.
Oh, and making a list of male-related data in faith that people who read male-related blogs are ignorant of them is a shining example of female solipsism.
That, i.e. your labeling without any cogent argument, makes absolutely no sense. I got that on another forum filled with misogynists. Command, communicate, control…. Anyway…I thought of another example. In my experience, the vast majority of charitable people, who volunteer their time, money, and energy, are female. Take a Board of Directors I sit on… we are all women and the volunteers at the organization, almost all 50 of them, are women. Seriously, I honestly cannot understand how Rollo can accuse women of solipsism. Women are obviously socialized to be caregivers and to put others before themselves. (Also, he should… Read more »
@Ana Serene
You seem to be confusing solipsism (the belief that your mind is the only true concept) with altruism/selfishness.
I know what solipsism is. I think Rollo is using the term as a euphemism for self-centeredness.
The women who post on sites like these under the auspices of NAWALT are all the same. They infiltrate male spaces and multiply to dilute it. They’re also being AWs.
They can’t help themselves.
I do agree with Rollo in that sometimes it serves as a good learning tool when they pretty much prove the intent of the site, whether or not they realize it.
As someone else mentioned, Red Pill women are an “oxymoron,” as they would cease to be women.
Women behave appropriately when they actually have to deal with consequences, nothing less can substitute this.
“Seriously, I honestly cannot understand how Rollo can accuse women of solipsism. Women are obviously socialized to be caregivers and to put others before themselves.”
lol, this is too easy.
@Ana Serene I see you fed your hamster today. You might want to sit back and let the Men talk for awhile, you just might learn something. Just as a side note, not all studies and stats are created equal. Some, in fact can present a point the researchers want to substantiate. Case in point, the “affair” study is self reported – meaning the you get to answer anonymously and traditionally, men will be more honest than women in those studies – although I don’t have “data” to back that up – I believe it to be true. And example… Read more »
@Ana Serene
Your suspecting Rollo of implying self-centeredness then proceeding to make posts about self-centeredness without being truly assured of his intent was an example of female solipsism.
Crap, I should really proof read my comments before I hit POST …
@Underdog & @Rol … Hamster runs ’round and ’round and never makes any progress. And agree, although she is trying to make a point, and started off pretty good, citing actual research, she ultimately supported Rollo’s point more than her own. Never ceases to amaze me.
Later Gentlemen.
@ Underdog
You are funny.
Your assumption that I don’t understand the concept of solipsism is an example of male solipsism.
Your comment that my suspecting Rollo of implying self-centeredness then proceeding to make posts about self-centeredness without being truly assured of his intent was an example of female solipsism is an example of male solipsism.
I can play this game too.
“I can play this game too”
This is where I get off the bus. Have a nice ride to nowhere…
@Ana Serene
1st statement was reading comprehension fail on your part. When someone says “you seem to be…” that person is not making an assumption as to whether or not you actually are.
Your 2nd statement doesn’t make any logical sense. But perhaps you think it does due to your demonstrated inclination toward solipsism.
Same troll, different name.
Plain Jane? I never thought of you as serene…
This Ana chick is a perfect example of where we end up having to waste 10 pages explaining shit to a woman that she doesn’t get, doesn’t want to get, and couldn’t get even if she tried to.
VS 10 pages of discussion about something that will actually make progress and help other men. I’m not anti-women-in-the-community, but like I say, there’s a reason our “boy’s club” of PUAs skyrocketed game knowledge in such a short time…we didn’t waste time giving a shit if women approved of what we were saying lol
One word. Irony. 🙂
A woman’s solipsism is her only natural condition. Women’s base mentality is that of a weak dependent. Hence, the need for a man to always be in charge through a strong frame. A dependent can only see their own fragile world and does not have the strength to appreciate anything else. Hence, a woman, by definition cannot appreciate a man’s point view because she sees her own existence in such perilous terms that her anxiety simply overwhelms her. We cannot hope to get equals through relationships. We can only have fun complements while always remembering that we are the ones… Read more »
I’m a little late to the discussion, but it’s funny to me that it totally escaped Sunshine Mary that her daughter may have taken a step back on purpose after I missed shooting her in the butt the first time.
Heheh
I agree with YaReally: trying to engage the hamster-troll here is a waste of resources. But I also agree with Rollo: having women in the forum makes for a great demonstration of his points. Plain Jane (or whomever) is here to make pronouncements and feel good about herself for it; she’s looking for validation and attention, not to understand — which is made painfully clear by the fact that she doesn’t understand the concept of solipsism, and doesn’t ask any questions. @Underdog: when a man says “You seem to be X” he is stating a fact about appearances. When a… Read more »
Humanity consists of Men & Women. But I am surprised to know as to why most of the difficult and dangerous work is assigned to men. When humans were developed in ancient land, search for food through hunting was a dangerous activity. Even in contemporary tribal societies, it has been found that almost 90% of the men die a violent death in search of food or security. This activity was given to men, and along with this activity the possibility of death. In middle ages, the only employment available was that of a soldier. Men were employed and died. I… Read more »
Interesting comment. I must disagree with “In today’s world men work harder, in all dangerous situation, share their earning with the women, pay large amount of taxes to state….. and live much lower than the woman.” Women have the primary breadwinner role in 4 out of 10 US American households these days. Not sure what you mean about “living much lower” but more women live in poverty than do men and take care of the vast majority of children, 25% of whom live in poverty in the US.
I just discovered you.
Congrats on the book!
Please look at my blog.
l no longer concern myself with trying to attain recognition of my experience from anyone. Such validation is essentially seeking to satisfy the inherently solipsitic nature of ego/self/identity. What really seems to rattle people, to the point of fear, anger and lashing out, is to be quietly disconnected from worldly matters and persona. Whilst going about one’s life, freely and simply. The desire for recognition of one’s experience is essentially feminine in nature, ie ego based. Things can and do change, simply by detaching from that which one does not abide, neither supporting nor refuting, not participating, yet not blockading.… Read more »
[…] are going to necessarily be different. Women cannot fully appreciate the male experience (much less validate it) unless they can actually become men and live in a lifetime of their experiences, their upbringing, […]
There is a great book coming out. Men are Pigs and it really dissects the relationship between sexes and the need for sex.
[…] solipsistic nature (predicated on hypergamy) necessarily excludes them from empathizing with the male experience – and this extends to men’s legitimate pain. The idea that a man, the man her hypergamy […]
[…] anger at my questioning her consistent desire to control our family and lead it to ruin was quite baffling at the time. But instead of her being able to communicate about this issue in a calm mature way, […]
Holy fuckin’ nigga town am I glad I found this stuff. HUGE PROPS bro and gratitude.
I love this. I had a girl, then a boy. The boy’s behavior was markedly different. The one thing that stood out was that, as soon as he was capable, he’d pick up sticks when we went on walks and swing them around. I spoke with other mothers and finally understood that this was a uniquely male behavior. This small thing began my path of understanding that the male experience really is different from women. They’ve got their own vulnerabilities and insecurities and drives. And they *need* other males to be psychologically healthy – just as women need time with… Read more »
[…] The Male Experience […]
[…] But either feminist and anti-feminist would be sadly mistaken to believe that power and money are te true old male ideas of success. They are not. What they are, are nothing more than means to an end. An end, defined by one of the strongest powers in a mans life, as explained by The Rational Male here. […]
[…] The Male Experience September 10, 2013 link […]
[…] still rely on an outdated formula which presumes the male experience is inferior, a sham, in comparison to the female experience, and then presumes to know what the […]
While I very much appreciate the article, many of the comments I find slightly disturbing. There is conflict, but we don’t solve the conflict by being bigger assholes. We solve it through mutual understanding. We cannot brute force this argument. The Red Pill men out there (myself not included, as I only partially subscribe to that mindset) are attempting to use dominance and aggression to push women back into a subservient role. This is only furthering the flame war between the sexes. Men and women are different. We know that. Most men, these days, are not TRPers (thank god), but… Read more »
[…] first thing we need to consider is the Male Experience vs. the female experience. I hate to get too existential, but it comes down to our individuated […]
This post from https://dontmarry.wordpress.com/2009/07/23/married-men-post-here-if-you-hate-your-life-2/ helped me understand the female experience of love: I just wanted to re-iterate something. It’s not that women love you because they need you.Their love IS their need. They are the same thing. That is all their love is. They invented the word “love” and replaced it over the more honest fact of their need, and surrounded it with all this fictional bullshit, a hundred years back, to better trick men like you into committing to things without knowing what you’re getting into. They don’t love “you” at all. They love the image of you, what… Read more »
Hideous…
[…] still rely on an outdated formula which presumes the male experience is inferior, a sham, in comparison to the female experience, and then presumes to know what the […]
[…] Red Pill man cannot be distracted by such things. His strident belief in individualism cannot be shaken. Modern attempts by those who want to distract us seek to paint Liberalism as a […]
Rollo- I enjoyed this piece greatly. To be honest, I happened upon this blog when I googled “Manspreading.” I don’t ever take a seat on subways but, in other places, I’ve found it more comfortable to sit that way (not because I’d like to express psychological dominance over any prospective seat-mates). The following article was posted to my Facebook wall and I thought it was full of trite, anger-filled invective commonly associated with Third wave feminism. In light of your expertise in mining these issues, I wonder if you would devote a piece addressing the aforementioned article in a point-by-point… Read more »
You know, it would be a very interesting scenario if there was a planet, very similar to earth, and all men on earth went there leaving all women on earth, with no men. Now maybe someone wonders why women get to keep the earth, it’s because I doubt they’d survive colonizing a place that hasn’t already been tamed and secured by men. I bet even with everything left on earth for them, tech and industry, all of that.. I bet they wouldn’t make it very long.