Down Low on the SoSuave forum makes an observation:
I once lived in a suburb where all the men were relegated to their garages. Whenever a garage door was up, there’d be a man puttering around inside. He’d have a couch and desk, TV on, maybe clicking on a computer, and some mini fridge or hot plate going.
Of the neighbors I knew, none of the men were happily married. Some of them were relegated to upstairs bedrooms that had been converted into home offices. Others slept in a different bedroom from their wives. The men made quickie snacks all day out of cold cuts, chips, and cola. They all drank heavily.
Thing is, most of them had pretty good paying jobs and two cars out front. It seems that their wives were all unhappy over living for free in a new house, having a free car to drive, and having credit cards to go shopping with all day.
Burroughs then distills the phenomenon down for us:
Our main weakness as men lies within our inability to recognize when and how men are hated, we want so desperately to believe the illusion, we want so desperately to be liked and wanted and needed, that we have lost all sort of instinct for self preservation, to the point where we will literally jump in front of knives and bullets for women we dont even know.
The system is not designed for male contentedness, it doesn’t want male happiness, it wants you to constantly feel incomplete, it thrives off of your insecurity , it needs you to question yourself, it needs you to be in constant fear… of being alone of being a virgin, of continuing to have sex after your no longer a virgin, of being muscular, of not going bald, of this of that of everything.
Because remember you are not allowed a shred of weakness or vulnerability, it stifles the spirit of men it is pesticide on the male soul, society still has no clue, their pumping out these man up articles one right after another arent they?
Have we raised a generation of men that dont know how to be men? Where have all the good men gone? How come women are outperforming men in this and that? They simply will not come admit that this is a result of a sustained effort to disenfranchise men, one in which the end result can only be men turning their backs on a society that will to the bitter end hate on men for doing so.
Becuase you exist to serve there wont be an equal treatment of male victims of domestic violence, for example, no matter how much the inequality of it is pointed out, simply because you as a man have no right in this society to demand equal treatment.
I think the men in the garages have realized…or are realizing what a terrible waste their lives have been…and that their wives are not their allies but their slave-masters.. nagging endlessly while parasitically living off the income of the husband until such time as he is depleted…at which point the woman can cast him aside while continuing to extort money from the man through the police state….the men in the garage realize this…they realize the lies they have been fed through media and church have led them to this…so they drink….to avoid blowing their brains out.
Stay strong men.
While I really like the idea of in-garage-bars (I can think of at least 2 I know around here in Florida), I’m of two minds about this. On one hand, I think it’s essential for a healthy marriage that a Man set aside his space in the home. This is essential in establishing independent identities that is vital to a woman maintaining respect for her spouse. There are long established habits and interests and things that are part of my personality that I know damn well Mrs. Tomassi loathes, but the moment I allow her to “fix” me is the moment she loses respect for me in my independence because I’d be identifying with what she ‘thinks’ is best only to placate to her. There has to be that separation or you end up becoming this homogenized, asexual assimilation of what she thinks you should be – this is the ultimate form of male supplication. So as a necessary part of living together there must be areas that you are uncompromisingly separate in. This is a HUGE shit test that most married AFCs fail and then become slaves to the expectations and entitlements their wives have.
On the other hand, when routine life with a woman decays into this for a long period of time, understandably even AFCs will want a refuge. This used to be the local bar or some other man’s refuge. Depending on his degree of servitude, a weekend in his “man cave” ends up being preferable to the constant nagging of his wife. This is why escapisims (such as MMO type computer games) are so popular. Working life AND personal life become so intolerable that the escape is preferable to dealing with his realities. So he creates his own treehouse with a big sign on the outside that says “no girls allowed.”
In John Gray’s travesty that is Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, he makes a misguided attempt to characterize men’s want for a cave as something inherent to the male nature. This makes accepting a ‘man cave’ a bit more palatable for women steeped in feminine social primacy, but the phenomenon is so much more as Burroughs illuminated in his post. It’s not a want for solitude, it’s a necessity for escape.
Law 18: Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself— Isolation is Dangerous
I can understand a want for isolation and an escape, however brief, from dealing with one’s reality. We all have them in one form or another, but what the men in the garage signify is a more permanent form of surrender to feminine primacy. It’s not enough that a man be (even partially) responsible for the provisioning of his spouse and children, she must occupy the home so thoroughly that he’s pushed to the peripheries (sometimes even a separate location) to have any domain over what is his. It may be the garage, it maybe an off-site storage facility, it may be a customized basement “she allows him” to convert, but in the end it’s the summation of his surrender of frame.
It’s gotten to the point that men are so obliviously accepting of this frame surrender that his customized, pseudo-bachelor pad, underground dwelling becomes a point of pride for him. It’s something to impress other, equally as frame-oblivious men with. The guy with enough income to maintain a home his wife controls and a separate man-cave apartment of his own is envied by men less capable to do so.
What these men don’t see is the danger in their reasoning for isolation. For men so thoroughly conditioned by the feminine imperative, women’s control of the home is a given; it’s just how it is – if they want to get laid with any regularity. While consoling oneself in the garage amongst the big screen TV, pool table and wet bar, there’s not much impetus to give a man insight as to why his ‘fortress of solitude’ would even be necessary for him in the first place. He doesn’t wonder about why he should need to support a home and family while simultaneously living like a bachelor in his apartment on the weekends.