Going Away

 

If you’ve spent any time in the ‘sphere you’re probably familiar with the blog of Private Man. I’ve been a friend, and sometimes confidante, of Andrew for some time now and I’ve know of his cancer for most of it.

At first it was losing his eye, but now it’s back and it’s very aggressive. Andrew is very upfront about his mortality and he’s accepted he will die this year. You can learn more about it here. I’ve offered Andrew the guest author the forward of my upcoming book and he’s accepted. I did so in the hope of having him be memorialized for being a fixture in the manosphere.

Private Man is having a going away party tonight in Boynton Beach, Florida and I’m simulcasting it on The Rational Male for tonight. If you have the time, please watch.

I’m not going to lie, it’s really hard to think of Andrew in the past tense right now, but how we face death is at least as important as how we face life.

48 comments

  1. I’m not going to lie, it’s really hard to think of Andrew in the past tense right now, but how we face death is at least as important as how we face life.

    Very hard stuff, good on you for this posting and the intro offer, Rollo.

  2. I never heard of Private Man before, but any friend of Rational Male is a friend of mine. The way I see it, everybody dies, but not everybody really lives before they die.

  3. The question for the living is always, “Are you still breathing.”

    Mom took her last breath this last summer (August) – age 95.

  4. Andrew will be missed by more friends he doesn’t even know than most men have friends.

    Peace, my friend.

  5. Been a fan of the Private Man for a few years now. Good dude. Used to live in the same area as he does and probably hung with the same sort of crowd. He’s handling life with style and grace. Not easy. And to be admire. A real man. Handling difficulties the way a man does. Kudos to Andrew.

  6. Private man has been a big part in my unplugging, and for that I will be forever grateful.

    Thank you.

  7. Andrew started his Private Man blog right as I got here. He helped me unplug. I owe him a debt I can’t repay.

    Thanks, Andrew. A lot of us are better men because of you. I won’t forget.

  8. Thanks for gracing the manosphere with your words Andrew. And thanks for your example of fearlessness. It’s touching and inspiring.

  9. These blogs have helped many a beaten-down man find a way to stand up and fight, not just against the FI and its auxiliaries but also for his own interests, dreams and possibilities.

    I maintain, and always will, that this information is the most important education the modern man can have. So many highly educated and successful men have been crushed without it. Alongside of that, there are a multitude of intact relationships that can be far more fulfilling with the revival of gender polarity.

    We were in dire need of a new toolkit.

    Thank you Andrew, for sharing yours with us.

  10. Rollo,

    I’d like to suggest a topic. The forgotten female art of surrender.

    My Dad (a natural Alpha) always did a lot of “honey do chores”, cleaning, and cooking. My Mom never treated him like a beta. My OL was asking me how that was possible. I said my Mom made a decision and surrendered to my Dad. So no matter how beta he behaved around the house he was always her Alpha. I said that such behavior was a lost art. Dad did use dread. But it was mild. (“Did you see her rack? That was something.”)

    I’m teaching it to the OL – but it is (and has been) a long hard slog. She is learning. But very slowly.

  11. Or he could just cure his cancer. Rockefeller and Carnegie (Monopolists) took over medicine about a hundred years ago(read about the Flexner report), and turned it into …wait for it..a monopoly. As monopolists they werent trying the make the highest quality product for the populace, rather high wages for doctors, and their ability to control the lucrative industry of Pharma(often made from their oil). This is easily shown by the fact that the average patient has a longer lifespan than the average doctor. I hope someone shoots me if I go to school for eight years and I can’t even move the needle 1mm for my given profession. So when you hear the silly story that they suppress cancer cures, ask yourself-would a monopolist allow a good cheap treatment to take hold, that would stop their industry from making their average 50k per person? You are damn right they would stop it and they do stop it. Laetrile is probably the best example of this if you read its history and the whistleblowers involved. Instead lets use carcinogens to treat cancer-what could go wrong??? Cancer you say? Why just because carcinogens cause cancer-but they cure cancer pinky swear!? Probably the best single treatment is the Gerson Therapy, which in Germany was shown in studies to cure incurable(at the time) skin Tuberculosis. Imagine a diet that cured a skin infection. Anyways about 40% of people who are sent home to die by their doctors survive on the Gerson Therapy, a lower percentage if theyve taken chemotherapy. You don’t even have to take a leap of faith you can go down to their Mexican clinic and just TALK to the people who are undergoing the therapy and who have been through it, and what their results are or results of people they’ve known.

  12. Phoenix tears will cure any form of cancer out there. Ric Simpson pioneered it and has cured over 5,000 cases, many of which were sent home to die by the docs after they made their money.

  13. Just returned home from the Going Away Party. I attended Andrew’s meetup four years ago when I was about a year into my RP journey… Felt the need to return and give personal thanks to one of a few men with whom there is a debt that will never be fully repaid.

    I do not regret that decision, it was good to see him… even under these sad circumstances.

  14. Sorry to hear that. I’ve seen him before but didn’t know he had cancer.

    If ever I get that shit, I’m going down the cancertutor[dot]com route of alternative treatments.

  15. Reading Private Blog contents now – gonna take a while. How could I have missed this man?
    Sorry to see him go – have already lost parents to cancer. May his family find strength.

  16. This is the first I’ve heard about Private Man and his blog…and his fate. I’m sorry to see him go, hope the site lives on. As a RN I’ve seen this sad tale play out many times before. It’s heartening & inspiring to witness someone going out on their terms with their limitted time remaining. Fare thee well Private Man, peace be with you my fellow Trumpbrother

  17. He says on his blog he has made arrangements for it to be maintained on line.

    Couldn’t go to the party but I dropped him a line with a little story of my own which I hope provides some comfort and maybe a little guidance.

    He done good, and I am happy to repeat that here. Like others have said, Drew was one of the first and most perceptive voices I encountered as I started down the rabbit hole some years back. Glad he was able to enjoy the past few years despite his troubles, and has the strength and outlook for the journey on which he is embarking.

  18. In the manosphere, no one exemplifies courage to me better than Andrew has done. It is when I see a man confront a threat to one’s life so directly that I come to realize how much I have to grow to get to that point where I can do the same.

  19. I just want to say thank you Andrew for being a part of my unplugging. For the last year or so I’ve read your blog, and kept coming back for the insights, and sense of humor. There’s much respect for you here.

  20. I never read anything from this man. But I loathe cancer. And I love the sphere. Godspeed all the same.

  21. I started reading his stuff years ago when I was going through my separation/divorce. His writings along with Rollo, heartiste, and the sosuave forum helped me find my way during those dark crazy years.

    And now he’s showing us all how to die like a man.

    That, gentleman, is one hell of a man.

  22. Was not aware of Private Man and his blog, only wish I’d discovered it sooner.

    One of the amazing aspects of the digital age is how every day people can now reach out to so many folks and touch them, bypassing the thought-controllers in the conventional media. That impact is in some ways like being “alive”, in the sense that your digital presence can communicate to and affect others.

    I will discover him anew even as he dies. While it’s not immortality, it is quite an impact. Thanks for your gift, Private Man. Nice to see a man who remains dignified and not going “gently”. An example for me, and one that evokes a massive amount of compassion and respect for you.

  23. A nota bene for the commenters here with their breathless babble about alternative cancer cures.

    One wonders, have you ever known someone with cancer, or worse yet, terminal cancer? Do you know what their number 1 complaint is? All the jackasses who press their alternative treatments and conspiracy theories on them, relentlessly. Why, do you ask, might they feel this way? Here’s a fucking hint, you arrogant nitwits.

    1. They have Google too, you fuckwitted dingbats. Any “information” or “data” you have is probably already known and debunked. Cuz hey, did it occur to you that they may have been a bit more motivated than you are to actually research a cure? That they might take this pretty seriously and not be ignorant and uninformed? Nah, rarely. And they can also do this:

    Take any “cure” and put the word “debunked” in front of the verbal description of it in a google search bar and press return. After a while of finding every single recommendation from some blog commenter to be abject BS, a pattern begins to emerge. People who hold such beliefs are typically ignorant and emotional, and possess no formal expertise in the area. One is quite right to ignore the 139th such incident.

    Please, STFU.

    2. The level of disrespect for the entire medical and pharmacological community is insulting to them and breathtakingly ignorant and arrogant. I only hear this kind of commentary coming from people who don’t work in health care. Hmmm, that’s funny, ain’t it? The idea that the entire industry is corrupt and kills people for funzies and profit is abject bullshit and born of ignorance. Damning the entire pharma industry – a biz that cures people all over the world every day, millions and millions and millions of them – is more bullshit. There are lots of problems and most of them come from overregulation. I won’t go into all that here, but essentially due to hysterical screamers like you, we’ve empowered the govt to fuck up health care and the practice of medicine, sure. But to claim it’s all about evil pharmas, well that just means you are a fucking joke.

    I know nurses and doctors, and people in pharma. I’ve worked closely with big pharma companies in my career, selling lots of tech for them, in fact in regulatory affairs. I have firsthand knowledge of the protocols and regulations at work, and knowing that, I just laugh at you bullshitting madmen.

    The problem is lots of idiots believe you. Otherwise I would just go about my day. But you distract people from the real problems with your demonization and ranting. And you do so towards the most vulnerable, scared, sick people one can imagine. How sick. How low. How depraved.

  24. And for those of you who think I’m “just being Scribbler” raging blindly, I’ll point out that this kind of BS about cancer kills people. It killed Steve Jobs, in fact. He said so not too long before he died. He chased around various cures he found on the internet instead of following the established, high success rate treatment offered to him by actually oncologists and other specialist medical doctors treating and curing many real people every day.

    Desperate people will do stupid things sometimes, even if they are “smart”. I mean, Jobs was an evil genius, yet he killed himself with alternative crap. The BSing of these huckster commenters kills people.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/apple/8841347/Steve-Jobs-regretted-trying-to-beat-cancer-with-alternative-medicine-for-so-long.html

  25. @Scribblerg

    Well said

    Plus.. He has requested we refrain from commenting as he has made his own mind up.

    Respect the mans decision or fuck off.

  26. Agree the decision must be respected.

    Worked in Pharma for over a decade myself. Lol, they aren’t lifesaving angels 100% of the time. Although, I wasn’t ” selling ” shit to them.

    One of my favorite memories of that time was when Mike Wallace and the 60 minutes crew showed up on campus chasing one of many stories about how the company made veterinarian/animal drugs that were 100% the same composition as the human versions, yet the animal ” version ” was like a dollar a pill, where the human version ( made on the same line and batch ) was 9 bucks a pill.

    The bigger and more profitable the industry, the more one has to watch out and question.

  27. Cost of production is not the only thing that determines the price of sale.

    Why does an aspirin in the hospital cost $400?

    Because the combination of regulations and Medicare/Medicaid payouts leave that as the about the only place where they are allowed to turn a profit. The cost of the aspirin isn’t the cost of the aspirin, it’s the cost of running the hospital.

    I believe I’ve already noted here that if you want the best medical information the place to go is to a large animal specialist. They are, by financial necessity and less government interference, far more reality based then most who care for humans.

    Even after retirement, a triple crown winner is worth millions, so long as he stays healthy and robust.

  28. Hey Rollo Tomassi,

    I wanted it to send you a private E-Mail. Expressing gratitude and thoughts on help for Andrew. There may be hope, it has taken me 3 hours to write. Write to my e-mail it: mic-cha@web.de

    Delete my comment afterwards writing me. Thank you in advance.

    Mig

  29. @Blax – Straw man – never said they were all lifesaving angels. I did state, as a matter of fact, that the products of pharmaceutical companies are keeping tens of millions of people alive every day, all around the world. One simply does not hear this basic truth mentioned enough when discussing pharmas. Freer markets will make them even more effective. The bashing is juvenile. Like telling lawyer jokes or cracking about what losers IT guys are…

  30. Andrew took the time to email me with a question (roughly 2013 – 2014) when I was having a weak moment. He helped me find my way again, set me straight, back on a red pill course.

    I’m saddened to hear this. But I’m grateful he was there.

    I hope someday I can repay him by standing forth for another brother.

    God bless.

  31. DoubleKnee, you don’t pay things like that back, you pay them forward. I’m sure you will, too.

  32. I found The Private Man in 2011 after finding Roissy, Rollo and Dalrock the year before. I’ve always been much more lurker than commenter, but I want to pop up here and say bon voyage, Andrew, you were a light in the darkness, you had your own common sense take that I liked a lot. I found you very readable and relatable as I’m somewhere near your age.

    Thank you, Andrew.

  33. @scribblerg

    “One wonders, have you ever known someone with cancer, or worse yet, terminal cancer?”

    I have a parent on chemotherapy with stage IV cancer.

    “Do you know what their number 1 complaint is?”

    Complaint number 1 is food cravings.

    “All the jackasses who press their alternative treatments and conspiracy theories on them, relentlessly. Why, do you ask, might they feel this way? Here’s a fucking hint, you arrogant nitwits.

    1. They have Google too, you fuckwitted dingbats. Any “information” or “data” you have is probably already known and debunked. Cuz hey, did it occur to you that they may have been a bit more motivated than you are to actually research a cure? That they might take this pretty seriously and not be ignorant and uninformed?”

    I would never expect the average person to actively take his health into his own hands.

    Much like we have all been led to believe women are rational and pragmatic agents, we have also been indoctrinated to blindly and passively follow contemporary pharmaceutical treatment of disease.

    “Nah, rarely. And they can also do this:

    Take any “cure” and put the word “debunked” in front of the verbal description of it in a google search bar and press return. After a while of finding every single recommendation from some blog commenter to be abject BS, a pattern begins to emerge. People who hold such beliefs are typically ignorant and emotional, and possess no formal expertise in the area. One is quite right to ignore the 139th such incident.

    Please, STFU.”

    I’ve never researched debunked cures but what I have done is search “fda only a drug can cure disease” on google, which returns:

    According to the FDA, only a drug can legally make this claim: “Only a drug can cure, prevent, or treat a disease.” A “drug” is defined as : –A substance used in the diagnosis, treatment, or prevention of a disease or as a component of a medication. … Drugs treat diseases by suppressing symptoms.

    It is legislated BY LAW in the United States that only a pharmaceutical drug can cure a disease.

    A doctor can only prescribe what is available to them and that is because natural anti-cancer agents cannot be patented!

    So when you walk into the doctors office and say, “Doc I think I have cancer”, you’ll never have him immediately prescribe circumin, resveratrol, and fish oil, which are all well known anti-cancer anti-inflammatory agents, and you’ll never hear him talk about proper diet because doctors aren’t trained in nutrition.

    “2. The level of disrespect for the entire medical and pharmacological community is insulting to them and breathtakingly ignorant and arrogant. I only hear this kind of commentary coming from people who don’t work in health care. Hmmm, that’s funny, ain’t it? The idea that the entire industry is corrupt and kills people for funzies and profit is abject bullshit and born of ignorance. Damning the entire pharma industry – a biz that cures people all over the world every day, millions and millions and millions of them – is more bullshit. There are lots of problems and most of them come from overregulation. I won’t go into all that here, but essentially due to hysterical screamers like you, we’ve empowered the govt to fuck up health care and the practice of medicine, sure. But to claim it’s all about evil pharmas, well that just means you are a fucking joke.

    know nurses and doctors, and people in pharma. I’ve worked closely with big pharma companies in my career, selling lots of tech for them, in fact in regulatory affairs. I have firsthand knowledge of the protocols and regulations at work, and knowing that, I just laugh at you bullshitting madmen.”

    Do not misunderstand me and think that I am insulting the doctors who are without a doubt genuine; I am against the system. Where do you think graduate student funding comes from for researching cancer cures? Bingo – pharmaceutical companies… Do you think for a second that a pharmaceutical company is going to put out funding for anti-cancer agents that cannot be patented or that a student even necessarily wants to work on a project that won’t make them money?

    I assume you know doctors can be reprimanded and have their medical license revoked for not following standard treatment protocol?

    This is not about individual people being evil or out to kill Americans, this is about the machine that is the contemporary medical system being a gigantic shit show that undermines the best possible treatment. Is chemotherapy the best possible treatment for my parent? I don’t know, but it might be the best AVAILABLE treatment..

    A simple question for you:

    If a simple non-patentable cancer cure existed, who the fuck would waste his time bringing it to patient availability when there is zero security on financial return and it is in fact against the law!?

    You wouldn’t even believe it existed. You’d call him a nutjob!

    “The problem is lots of idiots believe you. Otherwise I would just go about my day. But you distract people from the real problems with your demonization and ranting. And you do so towards the most vulnerable, scared, sick people one can imagine. How sick. How low. How depraved.”

    TRP is the study of objective reality after all. It’s okay to use your eyes here too because the system is Bullshit – wake up.

  34. Be silent, men.
    There goes a real man.

    Salute and respect. I do not know you, but knowing of you has to be enough

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