Dry Spell

From Sosuave member Flatnose:

Has the PUA community sent me delusional?
Ok I’m 47, well toned still have a 6 pack. 5’11. Ok looks. Well dressed, Good conversationalist Good job, full head of hair, hobbies are climbing potholing[?], playing guitar weight training etc. I’ve worked hard on body language, can approach ok. Often get glances and flirted heavily with.

Not getting laid though!

In a real dry spell at the moment guys, I am beginning to think that banging anyone under 30 who turns me on is just an impossible dream and that I am deluded to believe it.

I guess I am seeking some objectivity about this, are my expectations unrealistic?

Are you fishing where the fish are?

When I read some guy use the term ‘dry spell’ it’s usually due to one of two things: He’s either an AFC or a recovering AFC with only a tentative grasp of Game and is in the learning stages of applied Game, OR, he’s got Game, has a workable estimation of his SMV and knows how to demonstrate it (DHV), but due to logistics and/or his environment lacks the opportunities to effectively hook up as he’d like to.

From your description here I’m inclined to believe the latter. Even with marginal Game application a guy such as yourself could be expected to be reasonably attractive enough to generate interest in the right arena. Maybe you need to change up your environment? Find a new venue to meet women?

It’s been my experience from counseling that when men complain of being in a proverbial “dry spell” it becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy for them. In psychological terms this is known as a negative feedback loop. When you’re in a condition of deprivation you’ll manifest behaviors that cue others about that deprivation. Even declaring that you’re in a dry spell (really an appeal to pity) is evidence enough of your deprivation. The frustrating thing for men is that these deprivation behaviors become a subconscious default action – usually in the hope that some girl will take pity and end his period of desperation.

The Loop

“No mortal man can keep a secret. If the lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.” – Sigmund Freud

The trouble with a self-acknowledged dry spell is that most guys are unaware of the subtle deprivation cues they telegraph to the very women who’d break them of the deprivation that causes it. When a beta chump is resistant to the truths of Game this feedback loop is simply a frustrating aspect of his self-denial, but don’t think that dominant, Game-aware Alphas aren imune to the dry spell loop. The inherent danger is to start believing that the dry spell is the result of bad posturing, or caused by a false impression of women’s response to Game, or worse still, due to fate or karma (“it’s just beyond my control, the gods want me celibate”). These are all rationalizations for not recognizing and making a conscious effort at controlling the cues that women read as sexual deprivation.

While it is important to be self-aware of your dry spell feedback loop, the worst thing you can do is admit to the dry spell with a prospective woman. As I wrote in Sorry,..

Iron Rule of Tomassi #9 Never Self-Deprecate under any circumstance.

Apologizing for a lack of Game isn’t Game. Women want a man that other men want to be and other women want to fuck, and that guy, by definition, is already getting laid when a woman first meets him. Being necessitous isn’t an aphrodisiac, it’s a turn off in subtle ways that men don’t realize, but women register even when they’re not trying to. This is the first mistake the dry spell man makes – he attempts to leverage his dry spell into a form of Beta Game, thinking that a pity-fuck will lead to something more substantial.

While ‘slump busting’, or paying for sex, or falling back on a lesser plate may aid in regaining some confidence to break out of those dry spell behavioral tells, leveraging that dry spell for a pity-fuck is not only bad sex, but the girl who would bang you for pity’s sake will only resent herself and you more in the long term.

Breaking the dry spell loop relies upon recognizing it and changing the variables that are perpetuating it. As I advised Flatnose, a change in venue goes a long way, especially if you’re dependent upon some kind of social circle Game. Move to a new environment, meet new prospects. Most guys wont entertain this because it forces them from a comfort zone; a comfort zone which has ‘dried up’.

Changing variables is usually the key. Change in dress, attitude, doing something out of your preconceived Game routine, that may have produced fruit before, is essential. In body building there is a principle known as muscle confusion. When you do the same workout routine for months, muscle memory will find its level and plateau your gains. However, by varying your work outs, by doing new exercises and consistently forcing your muscles to adapt to unexpected condition you break through that plateau for new gains. Breaking a dry spell requires that same principle – variation, adaptation, improvisation.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Socialkenny
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I’m not even gonna get into the intricate details of the guy’s queries. But a key point I’m gonna note is this,”Guys need to stop friggin’ equating LOOKS with getting women”. Looks mean shit!!I keep saying that for years while others doubt it. The guy who had his queries on sosuave[BTW,that’s where I first learned pick up years ago as an RAFC],everything that he mentioned as his qualities were all physical/looks. And they obviously don’t get him by.And that’s because looks mean shit! What about his qualities(which he never mentioned):confidence,swag,humorous,funny,playful,mysterious? Confidence and the above personality traits get you laid.Not a… Read more »

M3
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M3
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Great thoughts Rollo, but if i can nitpick one thing (which i could be wrong about) but when i first read Flatnose, i got the sense he feels that Game/PUA’s are overemphasizing the ability to nail any age group regardless of age difference. His question seems to be asking if PUA’s are over exaggerating an ol’codgers ability of landing fresh meat.

He’s 47 trying to nail mid to late 20’s. I’ve been wondering too, is there a limit to age separation before women intrinsically go “ewwww you’re old enough to be my dad” that even game can’t circumvent?

A
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A
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Surely you must admit that there are good and rational reasons – better than “I’m scared of going out of my comfort zone” – for not wanting to move due to a so called dry spell. A move (I’m interpreting this as a longer move, not merely to a new apartment in the same city) isn’t exactly something you can just do on a whim.

S
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S
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From a woman (in her twenties) perspective, it’s not unrealistic. I think for many women it’s about attitude and somehow, I’m not sure about myself..but women can smell low self esteem (men can too). I know a lot of women who’d take an average looking, middle aged male with confidence and an edge over a ruggedly handsome man in his late twenties crippled with low self esteem.

Socialkenny
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@S-Men cannot smell low-self esteem.

Keep in mind-men are NOT social savvy nor socially aware.

Women can sense a guy who gets laid from a mile away.

A guy on the other hand cannot tell if a girl likes him even if she paints it on her forehead.

S
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S
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@Socialkenny, I would argue a woman is almost the same way, well I mean I am speaking for me and the majority of my friend where we will spend an amount of time deliberating over whether a guy likes us or not. I have to say these conversations have lessened throughout our twenties but I have to say sometimes I don’t have a clue. It can also be difficult for myself to differentiate between two I guess distinguishable types of “like” concerning men: that being of “I just wanna fuck you and that is it, afterwards…toodle-ooo” and the “I wanna… Read more »

S
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S
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pardon my haphazard writing, on the phone….

Socialkenny
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@S-But if the guy himself is being vague as to his liking,then it’s plausible for the girl to not readily know where he stands.

But a guy blatantly hitting on a girl,oh course the girl knows what’s up.

But the average guy/AFC is unable to discern when a chic likes him,although she’s flirting heavily and making it obvious besides verbalizing it.

S
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S
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Well, when I like a guy I tell them that I play WoW..

Haha.

titanium50
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titanium50
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Hey rollo, you got any links or tips on how to determine your SMV?

xsplat
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xsplat
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I didn’t know that about varying your workout routine to avoid a plateau.

I have noticed however that since adding a daily workout or two on the heavy bag that the muscle is coming on faster.

I don’t believe in God, but I believe in the blessed heavy bag.

A roadtrip is also a great cure for a breakup. You’ll find that new environments bring out new alter egos. It’s a good point – when old habits aren’t working, change your environment.

theprofessor
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@titanium

Roissy has a quiz on his page…

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/dating-market-value-test-for-men/

Stingray
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Stingray
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A,

Rollo is only talking about a change of venue, not a move of domicile. If one usually meets girls at the coffee shop or book store, he should branch out to other venues such as clubs or bars and vice versa.

Dean
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Dean
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What are the realities of the SMP for 40+ men? At what age should a single man focus on 30+ women? Its an interesting subject – ie how a man is to plan out his sex-life if he decides to stay single and not have children. So now you’re 40 what does your sex life look like? Now you’re 45, 50, 55, 60. At 60+ should a man still be spinning plates? I really don’t know the answer to these question. Yet, I’m approaching 40 and am a recent red-pill guy. So I am trying to figure out how to… Read more »

BlackCat
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The first thing I noticed was his age (47) versus his targets (under 30). Yes, yes, I know that with ‘game’ all is possible, but the reality is that he is trying to violate the “half one’s age + 7” rule of thumb, which generally takes more alpha than most men have. 47 ÷ 2 = 23.5 + 7 = a reasonable lower limit of 30.5 years old Now, admittedly this is more a general rule for relationships, whereas Flatnose is just talking about banging, but it still applies, and probably to a greater extent than most men want to… Read more »

Matt
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Matt
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I’m having trouble as well, the stupid deluded bitches here in Austin loathe my very existence. I’m really really pissed off these days.

3rd Millenium Men
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“When a woman’s self-perceived SMV exceeds the degree to which she perceives is the SMV of the man she’s with, this is the point at which she will seek out (or be open to the advances of) an Alpha she believes
exceeds her own SMV.”

Brilliant.

No wonder I label you and Chateau The Best of the Manosphere.

Emma the Emo
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Emma the Emo
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Not sure if men can smell bad self-esteem, but they didn’t like me when I had it. I suspect it has something to do with looking too quiet and unapproachable (uninterested) when shy. Bad SE can also make you act bitchy (like if you think people don’t like you anyway), give up trying to look hot. So bad SE can be bad for a woman’s attractiveness, or at least approachability.

walawala
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walawala
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I’ve been in this situation though not lately. When i was in this situation it was when i was learning game and i think i was too outcome dependent. I think i was subcommunicating that i wanted something rather than just being confident. I’ve been gaming a 26 year old, tall, 8, and when we go out, I do not communicate neediness at all. If i want to hold her hand, i do. If I want to kiss do. She balks at the kissing part becuase it’s in public. But she doesn’t say or imply we’re not going out. I’ve… Read more »

S
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S
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“Not sure if men can smell bad self-esteem, but they didn’t like me when I had it. I suspect it has something to do with looking too quiet and unapproachable (uninterested) when shy. Bad SE can also make you act bitchy (like if you think people don’t like you anyway), give up trying to look hot. So bad SE can be bad for a woman’s attractiveness, or at least approachability”… Yeah, I get your point. For a long time after the end of my last relationship, it would not have been uncommon for me to leave the house reminiscent of… Read more »

Flatnose
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Flatnose
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“everything that he mentioned as his qualities were all physical/looks.” Social Kenny…you appear to have scanned rather than read my description that Rollo posted. Indeed I mention my physical attributes but you appear to have stopped reading there. If I hadn’t mentioned the latter then, from Sosuave readers point of view I could be 4′ 10″, weigh 400 lbs, with a tonsure, body odour and in a wheelchair. I also mention good social skills re: conversation & approach skills, body language as well as a healthy lifestyle and my passions in life. Indeed, on my journey from Omega through to… Read more »

Socialkenny
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I did just scan with all intentions to read the whole thing.But the emphasis on looks said it all.
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b-166-er
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b-166-er
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47 ÷ 2 = 23.5 + 7 = a reasonable lower limit of 30.5 years old

this is a good rule; but some people look younger than their “birth age” and therefore can bend it quite a bit.

The One Reason
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The One Reason
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Kenny, Food for thought for those who believe that looks mean something. Excuse my French, but are we now getting a bit silly with the Confidence School stuff. Looks, with its many facets, do mean at least something (as opposed to absolutely nothing). One cannot seriously dismiss such an obvious part of the whole package, especially the younger the target group is, or the larger the age difference. Even the peer pressure, or Local Matrix as per mr. Ironwood’s excellent essay, is due to have an effect on the way a girl perceives the importance or non-importance of looks. BlackCat,… Read more »

Socialkenny
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I wrote an article a while back which was about ugly guys getting laid more.Not whom I deem as ugly,but society.Look around.Whom do you see getting laid and having GF’s?Guys who society would deem unattractive.So-called hot men,or men who have it all(physically)don’t friggin get laid(generally).The guys who are banging HB’s are either overweight or underweight(scrawny).Why is that?Because ugly men are more confident than men who society deem handsome.Check it out.
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Socialkenny
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90% of those guys going to the gym buffing up are innately insecure guys(which led them to the gym in the 1st. place).Same goes for the guys who were jocks in school,etc.They don’t get laid post school years.Or the have fat,undesirable wives/GF’s.
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Socialkenny
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My last 2 messages were meant for “The One Reason”.
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Dean
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Dean
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I wrote an article a while back which was about ugly guys getting laid more.</i.

Do you have a link?

Dean
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Dean
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If he wants to bang younger women, he either needs to step up his (natural) alpha something fierce, or develop a strong attractor that screams status, such as a clearly distinctive and attractive personal style, lifestyle, or the appearance of serious, serious money.

How rich is “serious, serious money”?

BlackCat
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BlackCat
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47 ÷ 2 = 23.5 + 7 = a reasonable lower limit of 30.5 years old this is a good rule; but some people look younger than their “birth age” and therefore can bend it quite a bit. Hence the term, “rule of thumb”. And again, it generally applies to relationships. If you are talking about hiding or not mentioning your age to not disqualify yourself in order to get a bang, then yes, it can be bent a bit, although probably to a lesser extent than most men think. How rich is “serious, serious money”? It is a sliding… Read more »

Socialkenny
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@Dean- Why are ugly men so confident with hot women by Socialkenny.Sorry for posting links Rollo.
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Socialkenny
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N
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N
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The hardest part for me was going from complete confusion and awkwardness (stemming from not having a strong emotional core and basically being at the whim of every external social force). For me personally, I stumbled around in awkwardness for 5 years (age 15 to 20) before getting a feel for the ebbs and flows of the game. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. No one is a special snowflake…but that only means that the rules of human social behavior apply to everyone the same way. Finding your personal style is often challenging but it… Read more »

gregg
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gregg
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@socialkenny – looks DO NOT mean a shit, looks are your MOST IMPORTANT ASSET when it come to women. You could easily get women only based on looks alone, unless you are hitting top class pussy. Looks get you in the door and unless you are complete wacko, looks give you women. I know it myself ladies, so nobody could fool me anymore. As a young guy I were good looking. I did not know a shit back than, but I was choosen by females based on looks alone and that was ENOUGH for most of them. Now I am… Read more »

gregg
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gregg
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uggly guys getting laid more? You´r kidding me. Do not fuck with me with that bullshit that looks are not important and all is necessary is confidence. Girls SHOW you their interest and they FIND their way to fuck you if you are attractive. If you are good looking and not social retard – WORLD IS YOUR FUCKING HAREM!!!! Let me tell you some things about the attractive guy´s life: You are having this birthday party. You were introduced to this pretty babe. Suddently she COMES and sits near you. You are talking. In an hour you are kissing. Makeout… Read more »

S
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S
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I have to disagree with you there gregg.

I will admit…all other factors equal most women if not all would take the good looking man over the average man. Thing is it’s RARE to find a good looking guy who is compelling in the other areas that matter to women like me and many of the women I know. I have refused second dates in the past with very attractive men in favor of other less attractive men with substance.

gregg
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gregg
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Mhm, cute. Another agreement between women and men about what our lill beauties want. Nice guys have been transformed to “gamers”. Pick up artists. So now it is not responsibility and warm..ehm heart (niceness) but it is “confidence”, and ehm…”substance” what our beloved ladies want smile Previous agreement with nice guys about “responsible, goood husband” failed. We have another one.

So you have to have this .. ehm, aura, confidence, humor and … “personality”. Of course charisma and “substance” are helpful tooooo. Hehehehehehe. Ladies you are unbelievable. I salute to you smile

S
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S
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Did I actually provide my definition of “substance” gregg..;)?

I think not.

gregg
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gregg
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love you. have a nice day smile

GeishaKate
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GeishaKate
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Looks are less important than the ability to make us laugh. rugged > pretty

Socialkenny
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@Gregg-“Looks are your most important asset when it comes to women”?Are you crazy!!?So you’re telling me a good-looking man who have no skills with women would get laid more than an ugly guy who believes in himself and has skills with women?
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Socialkenny
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@Gregg-Im not only saying confidence.Dude,yall have to realize that ugly men do NOT perceive themselves to be ugly(despite hearing it a lot).They have a sort of bullet-proof reality about their looks which is what get them laid.I don’t understand,don’t yall guys have male friends?Don’t yall go clubbing and witness good-looking men in field compared to ugly men in field?I have a male friend who looks hideous,as if his face was a burnt pizza.Out of my whole social circle,besides me,he’s the only fucking 1 who gets laid lol!My other buddies who have the looks in the face,they are anti-social,shy,socially awkward and… Read more »

Socialkenny
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@S-Exactly my point!!Great point you made there.Good looking men have 1 thing going for them;a handsome face.That shit won’t suffice.They generally have no personality,nothing of interest,etc.They come off as bland when chatting to women.My name isn’t Socialkenny for nothing.I’m the pick-up artist KING of “nightlife”.Clubbing and going to bars have been my thing for the past 9 years,and I see who pulls ass from the guys who go home alone.And from my observation,ugly men are better in field chatting to women than handsome men are.
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Socialkenny
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@GeishaKate-Thanks for saying that.Guys commenting here need to realize that in the grand scheme of things,a guy who can make a girl laugh gets further than if he just had a handsome face but can’t make her laugh.
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The One Reason
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The One Reason
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gregg, Honestly I know many couples in which man is good looking, fun and positive and his girlfriend is at most average, with bitchy personality and no income. But I still have to see relatonship in which babe is gorgeous and guy is average joe with average income. Indeed my observation too during those bygone years I used to design (mainly) single-family houses; I met a vast amount of couples and by talking with them could also weigh the “balance” within their relationships, not to mention when we got into a contract. So many times I had to just wonder… Read more »

S
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S
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I think you can get good looking guys with “substance” but it’s rare. I think no matter who you go for you have to compromise in some area..you have to give up something(s)..like I said, I often find the less good looking guys to be better dates..I’ve also been told by my friends that they are generally better in bed too…eager to please and not as lazy. In fact, I would argue that good looking people are more likely to be poor lovers than not so good looking people. With women however, their looks can compensate somewhat for their lack… Read more »

Socialkenny
Guest

@S-Nice points you just made.I’ve blogged about this many times. For instance,which women are the most vain and insecure in the world?Models!Super models!Yet,they are deemed most attractive by society,yet they commit suicide of a big scale,have eating disorders because they think they’re fat when they only weigh like 90 lbs.My point is,the ppl society sees as hot are usually the ones most fucked up in every area of life.I wrote an article a while ago entitled,”Hot girls suck in bed”.That’s true!Same goes for hot men;they suck in bed since they’re under the illusion that looks will carry them. Sent from… Read more »

gregg
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gregg
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@SK … make women laugh? Be confident? What? She already is “laughing” like some lill puppy cos she is attracted to you and she can not help herself. She subconsciously wants to fuck you! You see it in her eyes and smile. And I can gurantee you that she finds a way how to fuck you and you will have a hard time escaping her. Look – you are trying to mimic behaviour of an attractive man but you are missing the core concept. He is not chasing and persuading women!! WOMEN are chasing and persuading him, my friend. He… Read more »

Socialkenny
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Looks does not take you all the way.That is what you’re tryna say,that with good looks,you have an automatic homerun. I don’t mean to sound condescending,but I’m no ugly guy.I’m pretty friggin hot and good looking(facially),I have a 6 pac through out my entire life(athletic built),but that alone has never fucking gotten me laid!If it had,I would’ve never gotten into pick up.I would just rely on my good looks and flash my 6 pac all day. Good looks may be an initial DHV,but you’re not gonna f-close a chic based on that.You have to have some substance after opening your… Read more »

Real You Game
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We see what we want to see when it comes to whether a man’s looks matter. The fact is there are many men who have a lot of success using their looks as their main attraction ‘weapon’. There are also many less attractive men who manage to overcome their lack of looks and utilize other attraction ‘weapons’. There are extremely handsome guys who get laid like champs and extremely handsome guys who get nada. The same applies to less attractive men. Clearly looks do matter. How could they not!? Are they the be all and end all? Not at all.… Read more »

S
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S
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Look, if a good looking guy want to spend a life getting laid with numerous “shallows” (a word I use to describe the most basic of individuals)..he won’t have a problem. However, if he wishes to develop a relationship…his looks alone will not hold him. I’d rather stab myself in the eye with a toothpick covered in paprika than have a second date with a dullard…good looking or not good looking.

Real You Game
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Hi S, you sound to me a little as if you hold handsome guys’ looks against them.

In my experience handsome guys are no more likely to be dull or shallow than less uglier dudes.

There are a lot of boring, bland, ugly men with a sting in their tail doing the rounds. There are also many handsome, empathetic, charismatic dudes who are honest and loving going about.

Keep your mind open!

S
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S
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Real You Game,

No not at all..hey, if a handsome man with a great sense of humour, “empathetic and charismatic” came knocking at my door..I’d open it and invite him in for a glass of wine. I have yet to come across a handsome guy since I have been single who isn’t deficient in some quality essential to me. Then again, I am not looking at the moment.

Socialkenny
Guest

@Real you Game-Looks matter as much much as ketchup matters on your fries.Very insignificant and minuscular.Good looks are only about 15% of the overall attraction and seduction process(according to my estimation).
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b-166-er
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b-166-er
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BlackCat August 11th, 2012 at 8:32 pm 47 ÷ 2 = 23.5 + 7 = a reasonable lower limit of 30.5 years old this is a good rule; but some people look younger than their “birth age” and therefore can bend it quite a bit. Hence the term, “rule of thumb”. And again, it generally applies to relationships. If you are talking about hiding or not mentioning your age to not disqualify yourself in order to get a bang, then yes, it can be bent a bit, although probably to a lesser extent than most men think. —————————————————————————————————- Exactly, but… Read more »

furiousferret
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furiousferret
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Didn’t Chris Rock already explain good looking guy game to a T?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioQZrMQegj4&feature=related

Starts at 0:58.

N
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N
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Being really good looking lowers the barriers significantly. These can make more mistakes with penalty and everything is just way easier. The game is still the same, they just don’t have to play as tight as average looking guys. Coming in cocky is overkill for the best looking guys. If these guys approach super strong to the typical attractive girl, they can seem unattainable and come off as really douchey. This same bold approach will work a lot better on the hottest chicks though. Average looking guys have to compensate with a bolder approach so they can subcommunicate all the… Read more »

Socialkenny
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@N-All of yall are coming from the frame that looks is the most important,or that looks help,bla,bla,bla.
Yet,none of yall are able to rationalize my question and answer my question.
I’m a good looking guy with a 6-pac,athletically built,I’m friggin hot(no need to sound pompous).Why haven’t that gotten me laid?Why relying on my good looks when I was an AFC before I got into the community(PUA),why didn’t I get laid via of looks alone?
Rationalize this for me.Anyone of yall.

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Real You Game
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In my opinion it’s not the ‘community’ that gets you laid Socialkenny, it’s the fact that when you discover game you become aware of having to take some action in order to get yourself laid. Most people don’t even know where to start before they start to read up. We can thank Mystery for recognizing that there was a problem and making a start on solving it “thanks big guy ” But most of the work you do yourself. Game is useful, but it can’t hide what’s already there. I agree with you that being “5’11. Ok looks. Well dressed,… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
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You know, it wasn’t really my point to make this a post about a Looks debate. Usually Looks is one of the more contentious issues in the manosphere, and one of the few points I disagree with Roissy about, however, I did cover this a while back:
https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/looks-count/

Looks

Assets

Game

Have two. Three is best, but if you only have one Game is the most essential.

And just to bring Geisha Kate back to reality:

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/09/15/womens-physical-standards/

Women have far more stringent physical standards for men than men will ever have for women.

Socialkenny
Guest

Game/the community,or what we teach is what got me laid.Plain and simple.Becasue I wasn’t getting laid prior.The community with it’s teaching,turned me into a social guy when prior,I was an introverted coward.So the community is the biggest part of me getting laid. All of the things you mentioned,active lifestyle,etc.are all components to aid in getting laid,as women are attracted to guys who have a life. But my beef here is that guys seem to be under the illusion that good looks alone get them laid.It’s just totally false.Put a good looking guy in the club who has no skills,what will… Read more »

Joe Blow
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Joe Blow
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Somebody isn’t closing the deal well. If a woman is flirting heavily – arm touching & etc – all it takes is a good aggressive close. “I’m going home and I’m going to crack open a nice bottle of wine and look at the stars. Care to join me?” What you say doesn’t matter so much as how you say it – confident, you have an agenda, leading her somewhere. BTW, unless you’re in a different community than me, climbing & potholing – or any very active outdoor sport – tends toward being a sausage fest. Triathlon seems to be… Read more »

Socialkenny
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Sorry for hijacking the point lol.But looks seemed relevant with what you’d paraphrased from the sosuave guy.
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GeishaKate
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GeishaKate
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Why do I have to come back to reality, Rollo? Huh, huh, HUH? Its quite nice out here in orbit The way a person looks changes depending on how I feel about them. So, the guy who makes me laugh, etc. is going to end up more good-looking to *me* no matter what an objective onlooker might see. But I read my homework, Professor. You give and give and the dogs love you for it. Now I’m going back to being a woman where my primary duty is to amuse and be a muse. Loading...

Jason773
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Jason773
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+1 to what N said.

SK, stop talking at the extremes, because extremes are almost nonexistant. Looks aren’t the most important thing, but they get you in door quite easily, and they allow you to make more mistakes during an approach.

Rollo Tomassi
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@GK, Try not to take this the wrong way, but women of your age reprioritize their criteria for long-term attraction as per their capacity to attract men permits. However the physical arousal cues you had at 12 y.o. are still the same ones you’ll have at 42 y.o. You see, when you mention the word “attraction” to women, they almost universally amortize that term to mean “what they’d want in an LTR prospect for commitment.” Since women have a subliminal need to make everything apply to themselves (solipsism), without a conscious thought the assumption is what would be attractive to… Read more »

GeishaKate
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GeishaKate
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@Rollo: You’re being too polite for me to understand you clearly smile

My age/experience (old enought to know better) is a factor, yes, but I have always been a distance/long haul person. I have never CONSCIOUSLY attempted a STR.

What I was trying to explain is how my perception of someone’s appearance can change over time. Maybe its just that I don’t notice someone is attractive until a certain point?

I’m mulling.

WideboyOfTheWesternWeb
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WideboyOfTheWesternWeb
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I apologize for interrupting this broadcast, but it must be said:
Logic Is Not Enough.

http://www.corbettreport.com/mp3/episode239-lq.mp3

Listen carefully, because today on The Corbett Report we tear apart the notions of the clockwork universe, the rationality of humans and the idea that logically valid arguments always arrive at true conclusions.

WideboyOfTheWesternWeb
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WideboyOfTheWesternWeb
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Please don’t think you can address the issue of sexual attractiveness without addressing the issue of FAT. OK? Don’t even think about it, people!

Bunny Carlos
Guest

From the age of 18-35 I never had to work to get a piece of ass, I simply waited until the next hottie that was interested in me came along and it was all the time. It was everywhere and anywhere I went. At those ages its a combo of looks, youth, lifestyle (no committments, wife, serious career), could stay out late and party multiple nights a week and also you have the social circle of same age/interests. At the same time I knew lots of guys who had same opps I did but rarely got laid. Its definitely a… Read more »

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BalkanMan
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BalkanMan
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That is very true @Bunny Carlos, like your comment

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Gnarus
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Gnarus
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I sense an overt focus on externalities both in self and target.

5 min awareness drill: sit and observe anyone for 5 min and write down the externalities first, then move in to specific body language that infers mood. Finally, start looking at genetic info. features, coloring, etc.

Guess that persons lineage.

Start conversation there.

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