Cognitivism vs. Behaviorism

“Never believe what a woman says, believe what she does.”

This phrase is almost a proverb in the manosphere. I wish I could say I coined it, but I think I remember it being used as early as 2003. Back then I was studying behavioral psychology and I remember it being significant then because it’s essentially the primary foundation of behaviorism: behavior is the only measurable, reliable evidence of psychological motivation. Most people, particularly those of a more conservative mindset, have a tendency to lump all psychology into the touchy-feely psychotherapist stereotype. What they don’t really grasp is that there are many more schools of thought in psychology than just the $75/hour couch-sitting cognitive therapists relying primarily on self-reported feelings.

I understand the dislike, but behavioral psychology is much more focused on what is empirically observable and drawing correlations about motivation from the manifested behavior of animals and people. For the behaviorist, the Medium is the Message. Cognitive psychologists are uncomfortable with the implications of a purely behavioral perspective, not just because it threatens their livelihoods, but it offends their sensibilities about humanism and placing root level, ‘hard-wired’ biological motivators above a blank-slate freewill ideology. It’s just this behavioral bent that rubs Cogs the wrong way about evo-psych as well; the behavioral foundations of evo-psych are uncomfortably close to biological determinism for their liking.

In the area of personality studies, nowhere is this dichotomy more apparent, and when you add in the complexities of gender differences and social psychology it becomes directly confrontational. Whether you’re aware of it or not, everyone you know subscribes to some combination of these two psychological camps – rational behaviorism and humanistic cognitivism. When it comes to the complexities of personality and social psych, it’s a bit too simplistic to characterize these ideologies in terms of nature vs. nurture. Only rarely do the two absolutes really exist in people’s personal psychologies, but in social psychology, the predominance of one psychological ideal will substantially set a precedent for the culture it’s recognized in.

Humanistic Cognitivism

As we might expect, women tend to opt for a more cognitive, emotive psychological perspective. As the sex with an innate predilection for communication (both verbal and nonverbal) it’s not surprising that a psychology founded on self-reporting and getting in touch with emotions would be appealing. An easy illustration of this psychology is found in women’s preference for associating anecdotal experiences with evidence of fact. Female solipsism aside, cognitivism complements women’s need for personal validation.

Cognitivism also fits well into women’s pluralistic sexual strategies in that it offers them much broader opportunities for sexual selection (i.e. hypergamy). A fem-centric society rooted in the importance of emotions and placing ephemeral personal choice as its highest motivator makes for an ideal environment in which to practice hypergamy. The unknowability of the feminine mystique, a woman’s prerogative to change her mind and the default status of victimhood, all find their beginnings in a “it’s-just-how-I-feel” cognitive psychology.

All of this isn’t to say that women are incapable of understanding a rational perspective, it’s just that this isn’t their perspective of origin. When forced to make a rational decision women can and do make choices based on empirical evidence, but it’s always tempered with the feeling that the decision is associated with. There is a necessary repression of this emotive base needed to come to a point of rationality.

Rational Behaviorism

Conversely, men tend to opt for a more rational, behavioral approach to their psychological motivations. I’m not covering any new ground in this respect, but it’s important to note that what men believe is their own predisposition for rational thinking is also a psychological perspective.

Uninfluenced by social forces, men will tend towards deductive reasoning in their psychology, but that’s not to say this isn’t tempered by an underlying emotionalism. As I’ve stated in many prior threads, it’s men who are the true romantics. We want to believe the fantasy in spite of our deductive natures telling us the opposite – and this is generally where the trouble begins for men.

Worlds Collide

Just as society is influenced by political, religious and economic beliefs, so too does our predominant social psychology color our world view. For the past 50 + years this has been a consistent push towards a feminine defined cognitive humanism. If you have any difficulty believing that men are the default rational behavioral sex, it’s because this psychology conflicts with what feminine cognitivism has been attempting to instill in society as a whole for going on five decades now; that a fem-centric cognitive social perspective should be the standard for society. The clarion call of cognitive humanistic psych has always been “get in touch with your feelings” , which by definition is easier for women than it should be for men. Women start at a point of normalcy where they presume to be more in touch, and men have the changing to do. Men’s default rational behavioral origin makes them flawed from the outset when cognitivism is the dominante social psychology.

Ignorance and Bliss

 One of the primary reasons men, and particularly the newly Game-aware red pill Men, see women’s actions as duplicitous and/or immoral is because they believe that women are on some level aware of their own hypocrisy. It frustrates men’s rational behavioristic psychology that in spite of being shown irrefutable evidence of women’s contrary behaviors they will still insist that they “just don’t know what comes over them.” It’s a uniquely female cognitive dissonance that women have the ability to separate their instinctive behaviors from their latent motivators. That’s the $10 way of saying most women are blissfully unaware of, or unacknowledging of, the source of their behaviors.

Consequently a psychological coping mechanism was needed to resolve women’s incongruent behaviors with their uncomfortable motivators. Enter the mental Hamster of women’s rationalization engine. Because of the psychological priority cognitivism has in women, rationalizing needs to be on autopilot. So when women relate that they don’t know why they preach one thing, but do the opposite, I’m inclined to believe them. Hypergamy is a raw, animalistic, unethical element of the feminine psyche, so it comes as no surprise that women’s psychologies would push this discomfort into an unconscious mental subroutine for them.

“I don’t know why I felt compelled to fuck the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun, it’s just not like me.”

“I’m appalled by rape and BDSM, but I can’t help but get off on reading 50 Shades of Grey.”

Men hear statements like these and our rational behavioral psychology screams “BULLSHIT! Everything has a reason, you throw an object into the air and gravity brings it back down!” However, women (for the most part) literally don’t know why they don’t know their instincts make them hypocrites. They retreat to the rationalization Hamster, but even this isn’t sufficient in the face of very stark realities. So an entire social psychology, one favoring women’s humanistic cognitivism, was needed to maintain that cognitive dissonance. Thus women caught in the act of infidelity (acting contrary to professed behavior) are still protect and insulated from their own ignorance of motivation.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Never believe what anyone says, when what they do clearly indicates the opposite. By their deeds you shall know them.

Hector
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Hector
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Excellent blog Rollo. Steady, quality content, keep it up.

Ron
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Ron
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You are using the concepts cognitivism and behaviorism creatively. They are usually used differently.

Evolutionary psychology sees psychological mechanisms as information processing devices. It is in that sense much closer to cognitive science than behaviorism.

For decades, researchers in behaviorism were working with the assumption of a blank slate. They assumed that reinforcement and punishment could explain all behavior. Also, you can study verbal behavior (speech) empirically.

Anyway, … I agree with the main message. Actions speak louder than words.

Samuel
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I think that women really mean it when they say “I don’t know why I get like that” when they lose it, say horrible shit that causes self-sabotage in their life, or act on whatever emotion or feeling or craving of the moment with total disregard for everything but that moment or need… What it says, clearly and unequivocably, is that they are not in control of themselves. They do NOT possess self-mastery. Whether they consciously admit that or not, they KNOW IT. Therefore, they know that their MAN better have self-mastery, and only a man who does is going… Read more »

Samuel
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P.S. The “blank slate” theory is such an obvious lie I don’t know how it survives.

They say we are nothing but mammals… but then suggest that we have no instinct whatsoever (even though all animals do) and that all behaviors are learned.

How utterly absurd.

Captain Action
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Take This Waltz
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1592281/

Stingray
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Nothing can tame the hamster like a strong, reliable man. I often wonder if that is why feminist hate men so much.

Hero
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Hero
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Wow. Very well said.

Be the rock that they cling to in order to weather their emotional storm.

I enjoy reading your comments, Samuel.

D-Man
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Thank you Rollo and Samuel, excellent way of putting it. Been struggling with this for a while, trying to understand what’s behind the behaviors, words, and choices of several women I’ve met in my life. If they were coming from a rational perspective, like any man would imagine when he tries to “put himself in their shoes”, then they deliberately and calculatingly CHOOSE to do and say all these totally uncalled-for, vicious, mean-hearted, hypocritical, and selfish things. I’ve seen some seriously shitty stuff, both as a spectator and participant. Which really leads one to think that deep down, they’re evil.… Read more »

YaReally
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An engaged chick I’m tapping tells me her fiance “is probably cheating on me anyway, he always stays late at the office and stuff.” Guaranteed the guy isn’t cheating. But it keeps her from having to admit to herself that she’s being a horrible person. She wears her engagement ring while we fuck and makes sure it’s noticable in the pics/vids she sends me. The rationalization hamster is pretty amazing. If you met her you’d think she was the sweetest nicest girl in the world, and if you confronted her about her behavior she would come up with a dozen… Read more »

TR
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TR
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Dude where is the wife whisperer post i know you copied it but I wanted to read the comments

Rollo Tomassi
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A beautiful woman dies two deaths.

Rollo Tomassi
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She wears her engagement ring while we fuck and makes sure it’s noticable in the pics/vids she sends me.

Tits or GTFO.

Heheh,..kidding,…kinda,..

Stingray
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God I’m depressed all of a sudden (Which is to say, well done and nicely written).

D-Man
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And these days, many men do too.

The first being his romantic heart.

DiamondEyes
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DiamondEyes
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I’m sure you’ve heard this before but I have no respect for a man who knowingly does another man’s woman. There are millions of single women out there, so to pick one that is attached seems very beta and desperate. You are also rewarding her whorish behavior, allowing her to enjoy the best of both worlds while never having to face the consequences of her failure to choose. Playing enabler to the worst of the female traits. You are playing for team woman, siding with a whore to destroy a man’s life…playing directly against team man. And the MANosphere is… Read more »

feral1404
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I see your point, DiamondEyes, but it’s not always that cut and dry. About a year ago I picked up a girl at a bar in DC who was in transit back and forth from France (some State Dept. chick polit hack). In no less than a couple of hours I took her back to her hotel and we got very wicked – she was into all sorts of excitement. No wedding ring apparent, no admission of attachment. At 3am the phone rings and she answers; her boyfriend on the line. After some convo, she hangs up. Ok, I think,… Read more »

Nas
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You know I wouldn’t mind if another man was tapping my woman. I would mind him not telling me about it so I could kick the whore to the curb. If my best friend fucked my girl and later told me “Hey man you got a whore on your hand” I wouldn’t even be mad at him I am sure.

MNL
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Nice post. But let’s be honest: the descriptions presented above are polar extremes. Few behaviorists today assert that human cognition plays no role in human behavior. And few cognitive psychologists ignore biological motivations and advocate the sort of female emotional masturbation described above as the route to psychological health In fact, the most interesting–and the most therapeutically successful perspectives–blend elements of both cognition and behaviorism. The field is called cognitive behaviorism or also rational emotive therapy. And it’s tenets are hard to argue with: it’s not the physical world and its biological imperatives that entirely determines our behavior and happiness.… Read more »

jim
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“tame”? sounds dangerous. why should a man risk taming a woman when the law is ready to pounce on him..

n she calls the cops on her alpha because he raised his voice and she was ‘scared’

then later regrets it

then calls the cops again

then later regrets it.

you see the insanity here

Johnycomelately
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I used to think the same way but my notorious alpha friend put it this way, “If she doesn’t get it from you, she’ll get it somewhere else.”
He then proceeded to show me a text from a woman he just banged. She was at a dinner with her in-laws with her partner and she laughingly texted my friend how his man juice was dribbling down her panties while she was conversing at the dinner table…..

Good Luck Chuck
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You obviously have yet to swallow the red pill. This is how it works. Sometimes you are the cuckold, sometimes you are the other man. The mating game is adversarial. You are competing with women and men. Every man for himself. I banged a married chick awhile back and right as we hit the bedroom she asked me, “You do know that I am married, right?” to which I replied “Yea” and that was that. Hit it raw and could have dropped my load in her had I so desired. Was that bad of me? Depends on who you ask,… Read more »

DiamondEyes
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Well I could either beat you to a bloody pulp and steal your wallet, or walk away and leave you be. But if I don’t, some other scummy piece of shit will, so I may as well beat you and take your wallet bro. Not my fault. You don’t lose your integrity when you take the red pill, unless you were a little weasel to begin with. You simply learn how to not be taken advantage of by those with no integrity – how to not be the fiance in this story. The argument that someone else will if you… Read more »

DiamondEyes
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Maybe this concept is lost on you: taking the moral high ground is not something you do because you think it will make women stop cheating. It’s something you do because you have integrity, and very little choice in the matter. You act right because you ARE right.

DiamondEyes
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I agree with everything you said, pretty much. To make myself clear though, it is the maintaining the ongoing relationship that sickens me. Screwing a woman when you are not sure, or when she tells you of her husband as she’s taking your cock in her mouth, doesn’t really count. Most guys would be too weak to say no to that. But to return to that same woman night after night, knowing full well you are helping her destroy a fellow man’s life, is what I call scummy. Ya Really has been talking about banging this cunt for weeks or… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
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DiamondEyes- Yea, I was taught the same shit as a kid. Luckily I grew out of it when I realized that life shits on people who play by all the rules. And banging a married chick isn’t the same as hitting someone over the head and stealing their wallet, BTW You need to ask yourself who this “integrity” benefits. The military wants you to have integrity and do your “duty” to your country. They tend to downplay the fact that in doing so you might end up getting your head blown off. Religion wants you to be moral and have… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
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And before you say “Well there’s a big difference between someone who is married and someone who isn’t”…..that’s total bullshit. You are either stepping on someone’s toes or you aren’t. And like I said, most of the time if you are banging an attractive chick you are stepping on someone’s toes.

walawala
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For years I’ve been banging a married girl. She rationalizes it by saying her husband is seeing other women. After we finish up she’ll often say things like “Could I be your girlfriend?”

I reply: “You’d be too much work”. She laughs.

I used to be the guy who was cheated on. No more.

LR
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Indeed, well put.

I too had trouble recognizing the terms used by our good host here. They are not used in normal, conventional ways that are used in the scientific literature.

Confusion is a possibility here, but I doubt it matters for the layman.

William
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@DiamondEyes

If someone has put some thought into doing something or is going about doing something, they’re already a lost cause.

Even if your partner never ended up in bed with someone, them trying to make that happen should get them dumped.

Testo
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I’m with DiamondEyes on this. Had a phase when it wasn’t that way, didn’t care for it, because:
1)Any woman cheating isn’t LTR material, so why fuck over another man so badly for so little gain?
2)Kant’s categorical imperative.
3) It’s a weak move in our temporary cultural climate. If we hadn’t this disgenic, gynocentric excuse for a culture the other man SHOULD be able to ressort to violence if he finds out. I think i would basically be hiding behind our pussy-enabling laws and police.
4) There’s the (small, small) chance the other guy isn’t a wimp, and i end in the morgue.

Anony
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After coming to terms with all of this, or attempting to accept reality for how it is, I have to ask, how is anyone able to remain happy? I have been with a number of women, and have really always been the one pursued, and should be happy about that, and even last night was, and today am as well, but now that I realize for the most part what role I play in basically being used by them, whether an ltr girlfriend, a one night stand, a fwb situation, etc…I am shattered emotionally, that they are so heartless, I… Read more »

Anony
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or wait, roissy, rational male, or whoever this blog and others like it are written by. sorry for the confusion, and for the bitching. was linked here from somewhere else.

Jason
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Jason
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That pill can be rough going down, can’t it?

Accept reality. Stop making women such an important part of your life. It will get better as you get older.

Good luck.

Michael of Charlotte
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Michael of Charlotte
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“One of the primary reasons men, and particularly the newly Game-aware red pill Men, see women’s actions as duplicitous and/or immoral is because they believe that women are on some level aware of their own hypocrisy. It frustrates men’s rational behavioristic psychology that in spite of being shown irrefutable evidence of women’s contrary behaviors they will still insist that they “just don’t know what comes over them.”” That’s exactly where I am right now. I’m literally stunned that one woman in particular can one day treat me so well then another day shit all over me. These few sentences explains… Read more »

Jonathon Factory
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The flaw in DiamondEye’s mugging analogy: A man’s wallet = a man’s legal property. A woman ≠ a man’s property. The analogy ignores the pesky little detail of a woman’s freewill. In fact, in the case of an engaged woman sleeping with another man: the man she’s engaged to is likely HER “property.” If she feels compelled to step out on her fiancé, she probably knows she can get away with it. She probably knows he’ll forgive her for any number of reasons listed on this blog and others. The other issue I have with DE’s argument is the concept… Read more »

Coy
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“how is anyone able to remain happy?”
My thoughts exactly…..I am going through the same phase.

LionSoul
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+1

I believe in Karma. I’ve seen it knock people a few pegs. Yeah, married chicks are easy, but if my game is tight, I can pick up a single one anyways. There is a certain line you don’t cross in ruining other people’s lives. No pussy is worth destroying a fellow man.

Even the ‘great’ Tyler has illegitimate spawn he has to pay for from his player ways. Women win one way or another. That’s why I LTR hop to avoid the nonsense.

Also, if that husband found out and he’s a little bit crazy… hope you live to get some more…

LionSoul
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To be honest, I think men who sleep with married women don’t have game at all. They’re just so desperate to get laid.

Yet, I do agree that if you didn’t know the first time it’s understandable. If I ever slept with a married woman and she told me afterwards, I would tell her that she’s scum and may Godc have mercy on her useless soul–after I get some breakfast of course.

Eh, what can you do? Godless society for the win.

LionSoul
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Don’t be so eager to throw out morals.

Think twice before stepping on toes.

One day you will wish for mercy.

Yet, nobody will hear for you have no soul.

It’s not about God. It’s about living with yourself. When you’re on your deathbed with regrets, wondering what will happen next. It would be nice to have a clear conscious.

When society crumbles, you will wish that morals still existed, while your getting sodimized by a barrel of a gun by that guy you screwed over–just saying.

Scott
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Quickly then I probably won’t mention it again; I have been wondering where the terms are from (Game: maybe from the book I haven’t read because I heard it doesn’t say much about Game anyway)/(Red Pill: maybe from the movie The Matrix that I did see, though there is also Red and Blue states). If society does “fall apart” I think it will be caused not by gender dynamics but by the beta-governments monetary national debt or something far worse. Personally, I would not knowingly get intimate with a married woman, it could only happen with me if because most… Read more »

PM Siesta
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You sound like a romantic guy, normal at 23. At least you are enjoying some great sex alongside those unrequited romantic feelings – alot of guys choke on the feelings but miss the sex. As far as advice, while AWALT there is a continuum and some girls are more capable of goodness than others, and you may be attracting or attracted to the worst of the lot. There is a good series of posts at [http://therawness.com] regarding good guys who attract crazy BPD girls that may interest you. Good luck.

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck
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Rollo, you need to do a post on this.

Anony
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Anony
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Glad to know I’m not alone.

Anony
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Anony
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Thank you.

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck
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You never own the pussy.

When you are truly able to wrap your head around that concept you will see things very differently.

Good Luck Chuck
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One more note regarding sex with married women-

If you place that much value on a sexual encounter, ANY sexual encounter, you are placing too much value on women. When you factor in how much they REALLY care about you above and beyond using you as a means to an end they are nothing more than warm, wet holes.

Any guy who gets his panties in a bunch over this stuff obviously doesn’t understand how insignificant women really are.

Rollo Tomassi
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Anony
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Also, what is AWALT?

mmaier2112
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That’s some funny rationalizing right there, dude. Thanks.

mmaier2112
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Wimp with a 12 gauge can end you as fast as a UFC-fighting bad-arse. And he has fewer options and might just be faster to act upon his jealousy.

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck
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No, no…..a post about how a man can reconcile his red pill knowledge while having to live in a society that is so toxic to men.

I have a feeling that there are quite a few men out there who are asking themselves this question and it isn’t often discussed. Being married and all you might not have the best vantage point on this but I’m sure you could at least throw out some theories as to how a guy can maintain a positive attitude knowing how women really are and how the deck is stacked against men.

Good Luck Chuck
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That’s not rationalization, that’s he truth. If you hold a modern marriage in any higher regard than any other kind of male/female relationship that shows me that you really do buy into the bullshit. Stepping on toes is stepping on toes. Flimsy piece of paper or not.

Good Luck Chuck
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Yea, yea, like I haven’t heard that line before.

How many times have you seen or heard of someone you know getting physically harmed over infidelity? I see people cheating all the time and I personally have never heard of any of these situations coming to blows.

Is it possible? Sure it is. But it’s not very likely.

Anony
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Yes. That’s all I’ve been asking help for. I’ve gone here and solvemygirlproblems a few times (which is actually helpful in weird ways, but I realize he’s just [likely] a business gimmick with lot’s of wit and seemingly empty “rational advice”‘; too “alpha” for me, and I probably would’ve gotten more pussy on a regular basis had I not even began to read this shit). But no one addresses my main issue anywhere I look, yet there are comments all over the place about similar feelings; and the rest seem to be so empty of being human I just wonder… Read more »

mmaier2112
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Yeah, some folks (like myself) do think it entails far more than the admittedly worthless piece of legal paper or even the seriousness with which these whorish female take their marriages.

Call it bullshit all you want. Your delusions are not my problem.

Anony
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Anony
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delete the last comment i made. it was without reason. thanks.

Rollo Tomassi
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Anony, I’m going to write something about your specific circumstance in the coming week.

In the meantime read these posts as I think they may speak to what you’re experiencing now:

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/10/25/bitter-misogynists/
https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/dispelling-the-magic/
https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/women-in-love/

Coy
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Friends are starting to call me a social robot….its like I talk to people (guys and gals) for 15 mins and i figure them out and then I am sad again.I don’t even care what people think anymore.I was duped … Humanity turned out to be an illusion.Oh and I’m 23 as well.

Thanatosis (@lmMirin)
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Someone linked me to your blog and I have to say the quality is unparalleled.

Good read.

YaReally
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ya basically. My rationalization is that if it wasn’t me it’d be some other guy. She’s hot and oozes sex appeal, guys are after her anywhere she goes. Except those guys will try to “win” her away from her fiancé and fall in love with her and fuck her relationship up. I will not. We’re just sex and we both know it and that’s all she’s looking for. She knows I won’t come knocking on her door or txt her all weekend long or fall in love and demand she leave her man etc and she knows that I will… Read more »

YaReally
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Why is it destroying his life? She’s not planning to leave him for me. There’s no emotional relationship going on. When she’s horny and he’s not available she comes over, we bang, she goes home and showers up and they resume their otherwise fine relationship. It would be different if I was trying to lure her away from him or fuck up their marriage or if she was looking to land me in a relationship and get me to marry her. If that were the scenario then I’d agree with you. I don’t think she’s making great choices, but she… Read more »

YaReally
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lol shit you’re right. I’m actually a virgin in my parent’s basement and this is the only pussy I can get. Your view of the world is completely accurate!

YaReally
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“But there’s one thing that’s for sure- if she has any kind of sexual market value there is someone out there who doesn’t like the idea of you fucking her. ATTRACTIVE WOMEN ARE NEVER TRULY SINGLE. They have orbiters and fuck buddies who would rather starngle you than look at you if they know you are banging “their” girl.” Well said. Most guys don’t discover this because they hook up with average to ugly girls. But even THOSE girls have a handful of orbiters who secretly hate you for bangin their girl. When you’re looking at the smokin hot girls… Read more »

YaReally
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Marriage is a very serious deal that people don’t take seriously.

Generally the problems are on both sides of the relationship though. A satisfied woman is pretty much impossible to seduce.

YaReally
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ya I was going to say that too. The sad reality is the guy probably wouldn’t kick my ass. He’d be more angry at her for betraying his trust. If I was a good friend of his or if I rubbed it in his face it’d be different but I’m just a “random”. The guys who think “he’s gonna kill you with a shotgun!!!!! That’s what I’d do!!!!!” are the same guys who think “you can’t open a mixed set, what if the guy is her boyfriend? He’ll KILL you right there!!! That’s what I’d do!!!!” Besides, that’s why I… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
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Do you mind if I use your situation in an upcoming post?

YaReally
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“After coming to terms with all of this, or attempting to accept reality for how it is, I have to ask, how is anyone able to remain happy?” Step 1) Quit expecting other people to live up to your expectations and standards. They’ll just disappoint you. This will make you miserable and disillusioned for a while. You’re currently miserable and disillusioned but right now it’s because you’re still trying to force the square peg in the round hole. You have to let go, and give up. “it’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” Step 2)… Read more »

TestoRon
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TestoRon
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I thought of one situation especially were i- instictively- declined an offer to the share the bed of an HB9-10 because her friend wasn’t a wimp. Why did i know? Her friend backed me up in a situation which would have otherwise been me and my friend against around 20+ friggin immigrants. But i didn’t decline out of moral obligation or fairness, it was
literally a split second decision along the line “this guy dangerous”, which i told her. I think most people- even most PUAs- ect.- have a very limited awareness of their own social
instincts.

TestoRon
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TestoRon
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mmaier2221: I didn’t mean physically weak. A man who has the guts to kill his cheating wife and her lover is no wimp, even if he’s a physically weak cripple.

YaReally
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YaReally
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Yep. The types who are like “karma will get you!!!” and “hope this happens to you one day asshole then you’ll know how it feels!!!” don’t understand that I fully accept that a girl I’m with may stray on me. Especially if I’m not satisfying her. I have a main LTR girl right now and for now she’s alright with me playing around and us keeping things as boyfriend/girlfriend and nothing more serious. But over time she’ll probably want to push things further and move in together, get married, have kids etc. I’m not prepared to offer her those things.… Read more »

YaReally
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YaReally
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lol silly nonsense.

Morals are simply labeling grey areas as black and white based on your beliefs, upbringing, religion, social conditioning, etc.

You should get out more. Meet a bigger variety of people and cultures.

YaReally
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YaReally
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“but I view it as a friendly competition like a pick-up basketball game ” If the guy in my scenario found out about us and confronted me I would break it off. No biggie. At this point I’m not actively hurting him since he doesn’t know anything’s going on. If he found out about us and I knew it was hurting him, I’d back off because then its being a dickhead. It’s actually completely possible that she’ll fool around on the side for a few years while they go through getting married and she’ll get a lot of it out… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck
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Excellent post.

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck
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“Well said. Most guys don’t discover this because they hook up with average to ugly girls.” And a huge chunk of the guys who are banging hot girls are too afraid to take their heads out of the sand long enough to realize how things really work. Chicks don’t make a habit of broadcasting their love life to anyone but their best friends (and often their friends have no idea what really goes on) so it’s pretty easy to buy into the idea that a good looking chick might be single when in reality she has a dozen guys who… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck
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A satisfied woman is nearly impossible to seduce, and conversely an unsatisfied woman is often the aggressor when she does decide to cheat. The last one that I banged, they were in the car headed home after a night of partying with me and our mutual friend calls me up and says “Hey, Gina says she wants you to come over so she can make out with you.” It wasn’t me doing the escalating, it was her. She was dying to get fucked and I happened to meet enough points on her (truncated, I’m sure) checklist, I said “yes” and… Read more »

Dreamer
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Dreamer
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I want to write this question in a general response to the entirity of Anony’s post of his issue. The crippling depression from thinking about the ideas here and the manosphere. The core source of the feeling is simple from the acceptance of AWALT. ALWALT as in all women are ho’s. ALWALT as in no women are capable of love. ALWALT as in all women will cheat and feel no guilt and regret. I want to ask that aren’t we accepting the “truth” a bit too much? As in to the point of exageration. This is not to argue that… Read more »

LionSoul
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LionSoul
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Look. I have nothing to prove to you. All you do is regurgitate nonsense from Tyler ‘the great’. I go out plenty. I just choose to LTR hope for my own well bring as a man. You are nothing to me. If you don’t like what I post, GTFO. If you want to be the scum of the Earth, go ahead. I live my life honorably and with integrity. Does that mean I don’t get laid? No. And if you think that then you are more full of shit than I already think you are. I just choose to not… Read more »

LionSoul
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LionSoul
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8lllllllllllllD~~~~

YaReally
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YaReally
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Rollo: go nuts. But be prepared for an angry comment section lol

YaReally
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YaReally
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Yep. Dead on. A hot girl isn’t any more celibate than a guy would be if he had a dozen women who want to bang him on any given night. The main diff is that if a girl is officially “single” the guy she’s fucking is usually an ex or a really long term fuckbuddy (instead of a random new stranger every night) and usually she categorizes it as “it doesn’t count” along with the guy she fucked on vacation that she’ll never see again, guys of another race that she hooked up with but would never seriously consider dating,… Read more »

YaReally
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YaReally
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Good addition. My girlfriend doesn’t cheat because I satisfy her. But she may leave me for a guy who gives her more commitment because I don’t satisfy that. This engaged chick cheats because her guy doesn’t satisfy her sexually. But she’s not out looking for a new emotional love, in fact a guy that got clingy on her SHE would ditch because her man satisfies that part of what she needs. She doesn’t want a new man to raise a family with, she has a great one that she loves. So all she’s looking for is sex. Sex is all… Read more »

YaReally
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YaReally
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Intuition is basically your brain making a zillion little calculations in an instant and spitting you out a summarized “feeling”. So your gut tells you “don’t do it” but deep in your subconscious your brain has analyzed a fuckton of stuff at once. But it’s something that you develop with experience. A new driver will crash his car because he’ll panic trying to consciously make a decision. A guy who’s a pro driver will instinctively escape the situation while still singing to the radio because he’s on autopilot calculating everything that he’s been they hundreds of times before. Guys learning… Read more »

YaReally
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YaReally
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You are a stellar human being and you are way better than anyone else. I hope one day we all adjust our moral compasses to follow your shining example.

LionSoul
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LionSoul
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I could care less if you adjust. It’s just my opinion. See that nifty scroll bar? Keep rollin, brah. That shit will come back to you, and it doesn’t have to be your future relationships. Remember, I don’t believe in marriage. I’m not some sucker to feed the machine, but I’m on Man’s side. I will support my brothers over pussy. Yet, you can’t help it can you? Still worshiping it, huh? Yeah, you get some alright, but you don’t care what you destroy to get it. Good shit, brah. Let me know how lonely it is at the top.… Read more »

Johnycomelately
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Johnycomelately
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Shit, I know of a woman who isn’t getting good sexy time in her marriage and she is paying some guy to sex her up.

Johnycomelately
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Johnycomelately
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Who do you think those impotence commercials are targeting, men or women?

mikec74
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mikec74
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Way late to this discussion…..but I’ve got to chime in. My ex-wife cheated on me, and I can say that sent me into a pretty deep despair that was probably one of the catalysts for my swallowing of the red pill: http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/04/03/hear-me-now-believe-me-later/ I’m not going to try and convince any of you dudes banging married/engaged women to stop because it would be pointless anyways. I actually do believe in karma, and believe it is a bitch, but each man has to decide for himself what he will or won’t do. I know on the Internet everyone is a badass, but… Read more »

mikec74
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3) It’s a weak move in our temporary cultural climate. If we hadn’t this disgenic, gynocentric excuse for a culture the other man SHOULD be able to ressort to violence if he finds out. I think i would basically be hiding behind our pussy-enabling laws and police. Testo, it’s funny you mention this. We talk alot here about a feminized society and a femcentric imperative/reality, and I would argue one of the most feminized, femcentric notions is the idea of “talking things out”. Actually, in my view, a key component of the masculine is essentially violence. You solve disagreements with… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck
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If you carry that much rage toward something that is a natural function of biology it shows that you have yet to swallow the pill. Yea, it’s pretty fucking horrible, and it is about the worst thing that can happen to a man but it is nothing more than female human nature 101. Anger is a natural reaction to this but once you understand it for what it is you simply walk away. Your lease is up, time to let someone else take over payments on the used merchandise.

mikec74
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mikec74
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Maybe we got different doses… Speaking of “natural function of biology”, male sexual jealousy is probably at or near the top of primal biological drives. If a guy is engaged or married, then presumably there is some level of deep emotional investment as opposed to the fairly detached view a guy could maintain with a booty call or FWB. In any case, I’d say anger even rage is a pretty normal biological response to finding out YOUR girl is being drilled by some other guy. So the question becomes what is the normal biological response to anger, especially as a… Read more »

mikec74
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mikec74
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Probably OT, but not entirely. It was summer 2006, and I had switched bars I was bouncing at. One night I am working, and in comes a guy who I had bounced with at a different bar. This guy was a total hothead, and would go on and off the juice all the time. This time he was definitely on a cycle. And he was a amateur boxer as well. I can tell you he hit like a fucking sledgehammer. I’m not ashamed to admit he was one guy I was really afraid to piss off, because I had seen… Read more »

mansmarts007
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mansmarts007
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Wow!!!! I can’t believe I actually read every entry posted here. First of all, great writing Rollo. Your blog is intelligent and informative. To: “YaReally” and “Good Luck Chuck” excellent responses and well-thought out answers. To Anony, take to heart what these three guys (Rollo, YaReally and Good Luck Chuck) are advising. They are right on. Additionally, here’s a few from me. All women are not the same. There are 12 different types of women. Each with their own set of characters, personalities and attitudes. As men we have a tendency to wear a “one-size fits all” cap when dealing… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
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Not sure if spam.

Thanks?

Anony
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Anony
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yeah, what? god damn it. 300? ah. Rollo, thank you, regardless.

I have no where else I can go now.

Wilson
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Wilson
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It’s more like the shared responsibility of receiving stolen goods. But in a society where women reject all “objectification” they can’t be stolen. You’re invoking a moral system that doesn’t exist anymore. Which isn’t “honorable”–it’s dumb.

Derick
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Derick
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This is exactly the situation I find myself in at present. I am so fucking angry that I have been duped all these years and just want to see the whole world engulfed in flames. I used to see women as delicate wallflowers, now I see them for what they truly are: vicious, self serving cunts.

But I will rise from the ashes of my broken soul and look forward to the day when I finally no-longer give a single shit about any whore because then I will truly be free.

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[…] Woman say vs. Woman do – http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/cognitivism-vs-behaviorism/ […]

LiveFearless
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She receives the most ultimate VALIDATION. She’s so angry about it, she sues for $1.5 Billion. Yes, Billion with a ‘B’ (as in not just a million)

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