The Gift of Anxiety

 

Well since Aunt Sue’s decided to click on the ‘echo chamber’ setting on her blog’s comment filters I thought I’d take the opportunity to retype my deleted response to her (once again) on my unmoderated blog. Aunt Sue has a big problem with competition anxiety, and since she secretly loves me, she can’t make it too obvious that she reads my blog posts regularly for inspiration. Hell, it’s almost a Friday tradition now! It’s OK dear, I’ll entertain you for the weekend. Roissy, Roosh and Dalrock send you their unrequited regards too,…

Dear Sue, you know instead of paraphrasing my perspective on this you could simply quote the bit in my post that set you off (again):

Women don’t want a Man to cheat, but they love a Man who could cheat. Naturally you don’t want to appear to be seeking the flirtation – that would be OVERT – but rather playing along with it. I have encouraged or played along with casual flirtations with my wife present that leave her with the impression that other women find me desirable. When you’ve been together long enough and a strong emotional bond has formed, you will be surprised at how many shit tests and hypergamous evaluations you can avoid just by her perception of you being a commodity that other women are attracted to. Mrs. Tomassi has told me on at least a dozen occasions that she finds it flattering that other women would find me attractive. Always remember that your attractiveness to other women is an associative reflection on your spouse’s attractiveness to hold your sexual interest in the long term.

The trick to this is how you follow up after flirting. She has to be made to feel as though she’s still the one you choose to be with even though you have obvious, provable options. Women are always unconsciously evaluating the men they are with. Her self-worth is associated with his value. This is exactly why women in the stablest of relationships will still shit test. There are precious few ways for a Man in a long standing LTR to establish social proof and demonstrate higher value better than reciprocating a flirt with other women. Nothing stimulates a tired LTR like suspicion and jealousy. Her Imagination is the most important tool in your Game tool box. The hamster doesn’t stop spinning after marriage, but it’s incumbent upon you to make sure it keeps up the pace.

The problem you have with my take on this is that you see it in an absolutist, all-or-nothing in-your-face disrespectful frame. As if every aspect of an LTR would be overshadowed by a malevolent ‘dread’ of loss bordering on emotional blackmail. You might be surprised to know I don’t actually agree with the idea of using the impending doom of ‘dread‘ per se.

If you could get past your taste for the melodramatic you’d realize that returning casual flirtations is actually a compliment to the woman a Man is with. It satisfies that internal, hypergamous doubt as to whether the guy a woman committed herself to years ago is still the Man other men want to be and other women want to fuck.

You see the problem with your perspective Sue is that you view intergender relations from a ‘security first’ priority. This is mostly due to your fem-centric conditioning, but also because you’re in a phase of life now where security means more to you than it did when you were in your 20’s or 30’s. It’s difficult to see the value of adding measured degrees of insecurity into an LTR when your long-term security becomes your paramount concern. After the Wall, women dread the idea of having to start over in a sexual market place in which they are grossly outmatched, so even the slightest deviation from the ‘security forever’ script becomes a major ego threat.

An LTR based on dread, a threat, or an implied ultimatum isn’t one based on genuine desire, and you know enough about my philosophy to understand how important real desire is to me. I think of it more as an ambient understanding that a Man is still desired by other women and this manifests in flirtatious behavior. Obviously if a guy is overtly seeking out opportunities to flaunt his flirtations with his LTR, that’d be indicative of him having other issues to resolve for himself. Guy’s thoroughly underestimate women’s sensitivity to nuance and subcommunication; it doesn’t take much to trigger her imaginings, but most guys think they need to beat her over the head with what he wants her to get; and that of course defeats his purpose – he’s too obvious.

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"M"
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"M"

At first I thought SW was interesting, in as much as a woman was trying to and might even be able to actually understand a bit of game, that is to say objective reality.

Then, after reading a bit, I found her fem-centric Game 2.0 disappointing, bordering on irritating.

Now, I just love it for the comedic value and the real game blog fodder she provides.

The feminist is dead; long live the feminist.

And Balls...
Guest
And Balls...

Aunt Susan’s hamster must be absolutely exhausted

WillieMaize24
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WillieMaize24

Friendly advice: The photo above the post is disgusting and detracts from the post. If you’re going to use a photo to illustrate something, don’t have it of someone who puts her finger tip in her mouth. The photo should be of something that draws the reader into the article. Showing anxiety doesn’t do that. People (or at least male people) want to avoid anxiety.

TRW
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TRW

@WillieMaize24

Dude, hit the bar and cold approach a hog..you need calm your ass down.

(r)Evoluzione
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(r)Evoluzione

Yes. Thanks, Rollo. You put a voice to what I was thinking. I told Sue her post dripped with insecurity, which it does. You enumerated the exact reasons why. An ex girlfriend of mine had wicked trouble with insecurity. She hadn’t hit the wall yet (or had she?). She hated that women would flirt with me; it threatened our relationship many times, and ultimately contributed to its demise. She’s now late thirties, in the peri-wallopause phase, and lo and behold, she nabbed a 50-something business leader for her man. And he, foolishly in my opinion, wifed her up. But he’s… Read more »

(r)Evoluzione
Guest
(r)Evoluzione

Truth. Chicks often stick their fingers, and other things, in their mouths when nervous. This can be very good, or very, very bad. Picture selection was fine & appropriate. Rollo does a better job than most with his pic selection.

WillieMaize24
Guest
WillieMaize24

I”m not saying Rollo doesn’t do a better job than most. But you know the Latin phrase “Evenus Homerus Noddus” (Even Homer Nods). It means even Babe Ruth strikes out once in a while.
A better picture would have been a chick looking confused with her eyes wide open, her hair askew, and holding her head with the fingers of both hands.
If a chick sticks something in her mouth, it shouldn’t be her fingers.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

I think what frustrates Suz and the build-a-better-beta crowd is that healthy, vibrant and fun (yes, I typed “fun”) long-term relationships built upon mutual respect involve more foundational principles of Game than they’re comfortable in admitting. I’ve had Mrs. Tomassi tell me she thought Chris Hemsworth (Thor) was “hawt!” and I concurred, he’s a good looking dude. She then proceeds to tell me how much he reminds her of me when we met and I had long blonde hair. Flattering, but were I in a build-a-better-beta relationship I may have felt inadequate or maybe I should check her cell phone… Read more »

anonymous
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anonymous

Husbands also deserve the gift of anxiety. Smart wives flirt just over the comfort zone to instill in the husband a desire to be his best..

itsme
Guest
itsme

agreed.

rollo, you owe me a new monitor, keyboard, and breakfast, because this morning when i saw that nasty, filthy, disgusting, gross picture of a finger tip (a FINGER TIP!!! what the hell, man!!) in that girl’s mouth, i instantly hurled the contents of my stomach.

not cool, bro. NOT COOL.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

It’s called hypergamy, look it up.

Stingray
Guest
Stingray

long-term relationships built upon mutual respect involve more foundational principles of Game than they’re comfortable in admitting. It’s partly this, but it is also in the vocabulary. You lost her on the word dread. You are speaking man talk and she is speaking female talk and you are nearly saying the same thing. Only since you are primarily writing for men, they can understand what you are saying better when you use the term dread. I think Susan is actually feeling it. I know I did when i first heard about this concept. I don’t disagree with it and I… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

Unlce Roosh doesn’t have a problem with it,..

Stingray
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Stingray

Of course not. I don’t think Susan necessarily should either. But she does and you upped it, intentionally. Some women like it, some don’t. Personally, I love crap like that. My husband calls me *woman* all the time (you know, in that way feminist hate) and it is my favorite term of endearment that he uses (sugartits has a nice ring to it as well ; ) ) But you’re messing with her. Argue or mess. You’re not going to get any where doing both. She’s trying to understand. More than most. For the most part I think she really… Read more »

anonymous
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anonymous

it’s called jealousy, look it up.

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck

The last thing most guys want to do is to fuck with a woman’s head. We are forced to fuck with women’s heads. As a guy you have two choices if you want to attract women: 1) Be a super high value male 2) Mimic the actions of a super high value male Both of these involve causing a woman to feel competition anxiety. With rampant hypergamy you either see to it that the hamster wheel spins or you sit home and jerk it to porn. Women react on a visceral level to the idea of making them feel any… Read more »

Carlos
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Carlos

“Husbands also deserve the gift of anxiety.”

The word ‘deserve’ is tipping your hand; you are writing from a place of anger and revenge.

“Smart wives (…)”

You are belittling wives (and – naturally – women) by drawing divisions between the average (in this case “stupid wives”?) and – presumably – yourself. This is the same type of subconscious put-down as the now-nearly-ubiquitous “strong woman” meme; the term itself implies that the noun would have the opposite meaning without the coupler.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

The true irony of all this is that the same women raging about disrespect, or being psychologically manipulated (even in the most indirect of instances) are the same ones dutifully watching Dance Moms, TMZ, The Bachelor, Tyra Banks, etc. and the like for their required dosage of vicarious indignation.

https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/10/17/indignation/

In the absence of indignation, women will actively manufacture it for themselves.

Better an undercurrent of measured indignation focused on yourself than a bored LTR giving herself adrenal injections of indignation. Women don’t get off on dutiful respect, they get off on indignation.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

Men are born into the strictures of hypergamy, we deal with it from the time we get our first hard-on. Marriage is no insulation from it, religion is no insulation from it.

Tit for tat appeals for female provoked jealousy only highlights her ignorance of the male experience.

Survivorman
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Survivorman

“Jealousy” can only happen if a man fails this very basic “shit test”..

Doc
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Doc

“If you could get past your taste for the melodramatic you’d realize that returning casual flirtations is actually a compliment to the woman a Man is with.”

Absolutely! When I’m with a woman and go home with her, rather then the women that were flirting with me and making it obvious, that says that I find the woman I’m with more desirable, attractive, and hotter than any of the women that I was flirting with.

Leap of a Beta
Guest

Thanks for the post Rollo. I was extremely frustrated with Susan’s idea that stability in a relationship is created by both people being touchy feely about it. I usually lurk the comments until a good conversation comes along, but couldn’t even enter into that one. Doesn’t help that she’s actively policing other blogs and kicking out any ‘enemies’ based on differing opinions – even if those opinions are well thought out and rational. Flirting with other women is showing that you continuously chose the one you’re with. Its creating stability in the relationship by the man enforcing the stability and… Read more »

Johnycomelately
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Johnycomelately

Dude, get a life.

jimmy
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jimmy

Another fine example of women’s reality not intersecting with their perception. The umbrella that fits over many things women say or have an opinion on seems to be rooted in the fact that a wire in their brain between reality and perception has been snipped. I guess the break through moment for any guy trying to better understand women is when they come to realize this fact. Women are welcome to their own opinions on any matter but they are not welcome to their own facts. The real humor occurs when they try to justify one when a difference between… Read more »

dragnet
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dragnet

“You see the problem with your perspective Sue is that you view intergender relations from a ‘security first’ priority. This is mostly due to your fem-centric conditioning, but also because you’re in a phase of life now where security means more to you than it did when you were in your 20′s or 30′s.” The usual brilliance from you, Rollo. This post is great because it also goes some ways toward helping guys to understand the dynamics of the anxiety they would be wise to exploit. When you read the ‘Dread’ post at Roissy’s, it’s not hard to imagine some… Read more »

g2-c99b446c13a5e9761c87b255bc7606b6
Guest
g2-c99b446c13a5e9761c87b255bc7606b6

Is someone riffing on my own “echo chamber” post over at Sue’s?

I thought after she axed one of my comments some time back that my explanation would smooth things over.

Nope. She deleted my conciliatory follow-ups, too. Sounds like she’s would up way too tight.

No loss, skipping her site. She seems as though she wants women to be both flesh and fowl. “Smart slutting” is like modern day “Compassionate Conservatism”. Trying to ride the middle of the road just gets you screwed anally by guys telling you what you want to hear.

dave
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dave

I suppose I am not a quality man. But the more I learn about all of this, the more getting off the planet seems a good idea. It’s hell and there is seemingly no escape.

AS1
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AS1

@Dave

No worries man, all of us have been there unplugging from the Matrix. It’s a phase that will pass, as long as you let it go and “really” understand women, the “fem-centric” reality and adapt to it.

To OP: Another great post Rollo, as usual. It’s funny how when I look back at past relationships and see that I would do things like these without even knowing. Finally, I understand why some of the women were so attached to me.

Badger
Guest

I knew there’d be a juicy back-and-forth about this one. Susan has gone off on Roissy’s “dread” concept before, and despite my argument that the Roisster is tongue-in-cheek and that this kind of stuff is rare, she has hammered at it multiple times. One core difficulty with the issue of flirting with other women was highlighted by a comment from Susan herself. In the post she blasted men flirting with other women, and then vociferously praised a comment from a man which said a taken man should never, at all, in any circumstances, flirt with another women. …but then she… Read more »

Badger
Guest

To put it shorter: if you hear a woman talking about degrees of a trait, like “I like a nice guy, but not TOO nice,” you’re dealing with The Cliff. The issue is that what a woman sees as a very clear and distinct delineation between say, nice guy and suckup, is usually in fact a very slim (and often ever-changing) distinction in behavior. The corollary is that you can usually recover from too much alpha/not enough beta, but rarely can you recover attraction once you’ve fallen off the cliff, so your safe bet is to hang on the alpha… Read more »

Bj
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Bj

RT, you’re engaging with an emotionally charged being in an analytical argument, a battle whose W.O.M.D are the very tools which make you a man, logic and reasoning, for which there are no comparable counter measures

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck

Sweet jesus…I just read her post. Are women really so dense as to believe that they don’t do the same kind of shit, day in and day out, or are they just THAT good at convincing everyone otherwise? As if women aren’t constantly angling to secure backup. Most attractive chicks have three men lined up just in case something happens to their relationship. But of course as long as there is plausible deniability that’s all that matters. “Who, him? He’s just a friend!” It is also evident by her post that she lacks the ability to understand that negative emotions… Read more »

Höllenhund
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Höllenhund

Judging by Ms. Walsh’s behavior in the past few months we can safely conclude that any website or blog that doesn’t openly and resolutely dedicate itself against gynocentrism and gynonormativity will inevitably become a gynocentric quasi-feminist echo chamber as opponents of gynocentrism are driven away and banned. Her blog is an obvious example. Out of mere curiosity I checked out the comments to her post entitled ‘Which Comes First – Promiscuous or Crazy?’. Again her regular commenters are repeating their tired old nonsense: ‘men are hypergamous too, they only notice the prettiest girls’, ‘betas don’t really want girlfriends, they just… Read more »

mmaier2112@sbcglobal.net
Guest

I tend to go with Ferris Bueller’s thoughts here: “You can never go too far” followed by “Audacity is 90% of the battle”.

Always escalate with women, even if (especially if?) you’re smirking while you do it.

You’ll get the laugh eventually.

Candide
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Candide

Susan’s blog is now serving as a live lesson for recently Red Pilled men: Yes, the NAWALTs are exactly like that too. As I jokingly observed once, despite Rollo’s ironic nickname for her blog as Hooking Up Beta, I’ve never ever seen her throw a beta a bone. However, the few cads whose photos she’s seen and confirmed as good looking have got “joking” offers from her to introduce them to some nice & attractive girls in her focus group. IMO it’s a waste of time explaining these Red Pill concepts to women, even the ones who hang out on… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
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Good Luck Chuck

Should read- negative emotions do not always produce NEGATIVE results

Höllenhund
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Höllenhund

We also shouldn’t forget that she fancies herself as some sort of spokesperson for all young people dissatisfied with the current SMP. I’m pretty sure she’s looking for more mainstream attention in the form of a book deal or something similar. This logically means banning people who oppose the idea that men should selflessly serve the female imperative, in order to keep the maximum number of women on board. To fail to do so means social excommunication and she wants to avoid that.

Höllenhund
Guest
Höllenhund

By the way, older, experienced MRAs have stated that it’s completely pointless to try to have a rational debate with women about these issues. They’ll always get angry or react in some other irrational way, and you can bet white knights will immediately come to their defense. It’s a waste of time. As Alte said, “if you have a rational argument, take it to the men”.

Höllenhund
Guest
Höllenhund

OT: I just had a funny idea. Women always complain that ‘porn gives men unrealistic expectations about sex and women in general’. Well, let’s offer women a compromise. From now on, men will only watch porn featuring completely average-looking women who only have sex after being properly and respectfully seduced (i.e. no ‘Dark Game’ and whatnot), and women will only read romance novels and/or watch romantic movies featuring completely average men like computer programmers, plumbers, unemployed college graduates, office workers and so on. Would women accept that?

umslopogaas
Guest

@Rollo: Many thanks for this article. Very interesting analysis. Having been banned myself at HUS I wholeheartedly second your entire premise. Imo, at this point engaging in logical debate with 99.9% of all women is a waste of time, manifestly counterproductive. You can try to be rational, you can try to use sweet, inoffensive words…but so long as practically every woman remains a weak and fallen creature…she will actively hate, hate, haaaaate you…for showing her a mirror. Women prefer the comforting lie to the brutal, honest truth. They prefer blissful ignorance to painful education and will react with fury to… Read more »

Höllenhund
Guest
Höllenhund

My guess is that we’re going to witness the proliferation of Girl Game as female hypergamy becomes more and more frustrated in the West. It’ll basically be about grooming ‘reformed’ sluts how to a) skillfully hide all signs of their past promiscuity b) generally fake the traits of the traditional ‘good wife’ in order to snag a husband. HUS will be one of the vehicles for that and all this will eventually do men more harm than good.

Retrenched
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Retrenched

“Are women really so dense as to believe that they don’t do the same kind of shit, day in and day out, or are they just THAT good at convincing everyone otherwise?”

Nah, I’d say it’s more like they’re that good at convincing THEMSELVES. I think it’s self-deception more than anything else.

Which is why Susan is banning the red-pill comments over there. Self-deception is hard when other people come in with facts and logic to disprove your cherished myths.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

despite Rollo’s ironic nickname for her blog as Hooking Up Beta, I’ve never ever seen her throw a beta a bone.

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2012/02/24/relationshipstrategies/can-this-attraction-be-saved/

The prosecution rests its case.

itsme
Guest
itsme

Yet in a short span of time, a mere few months, she has increasingly shown her true face.

you can physically remove a borg from the collective, but you can never truly disconnect it. their fundamental programming is always present, it’s what makes a borg a borg. and so it is with women.

i’m just surprised it took people this long to realize that she was a gal qaeda sleeper agent.

itsme
Guest
itsme

plenty of women already do this. but they always have tells, they always leave behind evidence. sometimes it’s as easy as looking at their facebook page to find it.

csi: manosphere would probably not be a hit amongst the female demographic.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

A visceral reaction resulting from a photo that illustrates a visceral reaction.

My work is finished here.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

I see the error of my ways, and repent of my sins.

umslopogaas
Guest

@itsmee:

i’m just surprised it took people this long to realize that she was a gal qaeda sleeper agent.

Heh, well I guess the warning signs have been there for quite some time. I for one *wanted* to believe she’d be different.

Like…part of me doesn’t want to accept the facts in this matter, they seem altogether too hideous.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

Sometimes the irony just writes itself,… http://neecysnest.wordpress.com/2012/03/08/sigh/ Marellus (@Sazelus) Mar 19, 2012 @ 06:52:43 Neecy. Do you know about the disagreement between Susan Walsh and Rollo over flirting in LTR’s ? This can make a good post from your perspective. REPLY Neecy Mar 19, 2012 @ 08:42:32 Marellus thanks for the post idea! It is indeed a good one that needs to be adressed. I went and read Susans post didn’t see where the argument was between her and Rollo (was it in the comments section?? I refuse to vosit Rollo’s page. But Rollo is a pig IMO. he has… Read more »

YaReally
Guest
YaReally

I actually like my women to flirt around, because what guy could even compare to me. 🙂 They just come back to me extra attracted after realizing that I’m better than the other guys and my prize mindset solidifies even further. It’s a combination of how unreactive I am to their flirting with other guys (no jealousy), subtle AMOG skills, and how shitty 99.9999% of guys’ game is. Watch the hamster scramble if you reply with something like “dunno I’m pretty busy this week” followed by just one word answers or a week of radio silence after she tried to… Read more »

YaReally
Guest
YaReally

“The last thing most guys want to do is to fuck with a woman’s head. We are forced to fuck with women’s heads.” Yup. I WISH I could just be Mr. Nice Guy and be like the dude in the Pedestal letter post. I love being romantic and all that sappy shit. I just learned the hard way that there’s a time and place for that (not during the initial seduction lol) and that you have to balance it out so she doesn’t lose attraction. It’s not even that she’s a bitch or anything, or that she does it consciously.… Read more »

YaReally
Guest
YaReally

Yup. This is how I frame my Open Relationships. “I might go wander off, but I’ll be safe about it if I do and I’ll always come home to you babe.” Girls won’t admit they’re okay with it and will try to shit-test me on it, but the difference in attraction when she knows I have other options and choose her over them VS when she knows I have nothing else on my plate is significant. Any guy who doubts this should take his girlfriend to a restaurant, wear his suit and do himself up all fancy, and (competently lol)… Read more »

YaReally
Guest
YaReally

Stick it out and learn to play within the fucked up system. Look at it as an opportunity to better/master your sex/love-life.

You didn’t throw the Chess board out when you learned the Knight can only move in an L shape. 🙂

YaReally
Guest
YaReally

“So, dude flirts with women: bad. Women flirt with dude: good.” Actually ya, that’s a really good point. If you take your girl to a bar and approach and flirt with some girls, it’s not the same as if you walk in and the shooter girl hugs you and calls you by name and rubs her tits on you and 3 other girls come up to you through the night and hang on your every word. This is part of why going out, even in a relationship, is important. Have a place where you’re socially proofed and go out without… Read more »

YaReally
Guest
YaReally

“They love a man who can make them laugh AND cry, although they’d never mention the latter on their dating profiles!” Yep, there’s a reason soap operas and reality TV shows don’t just film people standing around having completely healthy stable relationships. Girls want to feel a range of emotions from a man. It’s good for her to be upset once in a while. Not only does it make her feel alive and like she’s not with a dial-tone bore of a beta, but when you calmly pass the tantrum shit-test your ability to handle any drama the world throws… Read more »

trackback

[…] was foaming out of the mouth. His comments were censored and he evicted. He subsequently wrote an article about this episode on his own blog. Finally, just like Doug1 and Rmaxd, I myself have also been recently banned at HUS […]

umslopogaas
Guest

Heh.

Inspired by your analysis, Rollo, I’ve written an article of my own regarding male-female communication.

http://umslopogaas.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/furor-feministae-female-discourse-culture-the-pointlessness-of-debating-women/

I’m very interested in your thoughts.

Neecy
Guest

What’s the irony Rollo? The fact that you are encouraging men to instill fear and anxiety in women they are supposed to care about , love and protect?? We are not talking about booty calls here who mean nothing. We’re talking women that MEN have made a conscious choice to be in a LTR with. it boggles my mind on how you could claim to love nad care about someone and yet want to instill fear and anxiety in them by disrepsecting them in front of other women who are creating a tension situation. Thinking solely about YOURSELF is certainly… Read more »

deti
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deti

Neecy: “dread” is useful to bring a woman back in line after she has stepped out of line and destabilized the relationship. Sometimes, dread is the only thing that will bring it back from the abyss. A woman who lapses into not appreciating what she has should be made to feel for a time what her life could be like without what she has. Moreover, if she perceives her man as being low value, his making clear that he can and will walk or that he has options can raise his value. Or at least it can make clear to… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

The irony is that you’ll never be able to understand my perspective on Susan’s comment threads, nor will you grasp the irony of your own take based on the non-reading of anything I had to say on the topic, but yet you’ll gladly fabricate them for yourself to come to the conclusion you would’ve already made even if you had. So, essentially you’re going to formulate an opinion based on the loosest of understanding about what you’ve read from others is my position, deliberately ignoring any reading about what is in fact my premise, and then attempt to convince me… Read more »

Flahute
Guest
Flahute

A woman like Neecy only flirts with men she wants to fuck. Since a woman like Neecy harbors insecurities about her desirability, when she sees her man flirting with another woman, she interprets his behavior as wanting to fuck the other woman and as a rejection of her. And that hurts. She says that she feels disrespected, but what she really feels is undesired. Her self-esteem takes a big hit. Neecy has most likely never had an LTR with an alpha. What a woman like Neecy doesn’t understand is that for a man who gets positive attention from women, flirting… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

Neecy, I’m not trying to pick on you, but when I read your blatantly, and admittedly, uneducated comment about what you thought I was proposing I knew exactly what you’d type last night. Unlike fem-centric blogs and forums, I wont censor comments I diametrically disagree with because I believe it contributes to a better understanding of plugged-in people, male or female, completely disconnected with what’s right in front of their noses. However, on this blog, a word of advice for the ladies; if you want to play on the Men’s field, come educated. If you want to prove your point,… Read more »

Fred Rotten
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Fred Rotten

@ Neecy

Second paragraph, third sentence: “it boggles my mind on how you could claim to love nad…”

No one here ever claimed that they love nad. That’s an unfounded accusation, madam.

dc1000
Guest
dc1000

You’re a better than blogger than most Rollo. Uncle Roosh, among others, has taken to banning anyone that posts anything opposing his view points – even banning a red pill player who disagreed with his strategy. I hope you keep it real here.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

I will. It comes from years of moderating the forums at SoSuave.

YaReally
Guest
YaReally

Neecy’s predictable post reminded me of another angle to look at the anxiety concept: it’s a good way to weed out low self-esteem women. If you make a chick with high-self esteem jealous, she’ll throw on her best lingerie and win you back (“fuck those bitches I’m hotter than them, he’s not gonna even notice other girls after tonight!”). If you make an LSE chick jealous she folds and gives up and cries and whines about being hurt. Both girls need the anxiety fire stoked now and then because relationships just naturally go thru phases where she takes the guy… Read more »

Neecy
Guest

I will admit Rollo i did not *FULLY* read your post at first. i went back and actually *READ* it and yes you pointed out that trying to instill dread in your partner is not what you are getting at. But the title of your post is clear “THE GIFT OF ANXIETY WHY? You are still coming from a standpoint that instilling anxiety of some sort is okay. i don’t understand this. You say that men should “play along” with flirting. In some cases that could mean (the way some women flirt) that you are literally accepting offers from other… Read more »

Neecy
Guest

Hi Deti, Now we are talking about a whole other topic and not just flrting. A woman or even a man who has got to the point of no longer appreciating their SO is probably not over the long haul worth even trying to prove anything to b/c if they have to rely on others outside approval of you then why would you want to even be with them? i guess I am just not about games or proving things to people who have not already been convinced. Its either black or White with me. If you aren’t happy with… Read more »

Neecy
Guest

Hi Flahute, FYI I am not a jealous or insecure person for the *MOST* part. I have my insecure days but what human being doesn’t? And yeah i can admit to beaing jealous of Hugh Jackmans wifey but it is what it is. 😀 In fact, i can’t stand people in relationships who are jealous and insecure. I have been in relationships with people liek that and its no fun. My problem is not with flirting. my problem is with the ulterioir motives some men or women use to *try* to make their partners jealous. I just don’t think that… Read more »

itsme
Guest
itsme

i don’t understand

it’s likely you never will. rollo explained everything in his post, and now you’re asking him to explain it again.

do you know what a circle is?

itsme
Guest
itsme

yep. plus she admits to crushing on that homo hugh jackman. more evidence supporting the profile.

Stingray
Guest
Stingray

that homo hugh jackman.

That’s hysterical! Only women don’t really think about Hugh Jackman. We think about Wolverine. Mmmmmmmmmm.

deti
Guest
deti

“What I do think is happening is that the curtain is being pulled away on the golden 20%, and what most women (50-60%) will do for them they wouldn’t dream of doing for your average corporate beta, and the doubletalk that is the female insistence on “commitment.” And young men (until they are marriage-minded) are saying “commitment is for suckers.”” This is important for a lot of reasons. What is happening is that the feminist narrative and the disaster it wrought on the sexual marketplace is being destroyed bit by bit. More and more men are discovering that the things… Read more »

emmatheemo
Guest

I can sort of understand the idea behind flirting with other women, but will first say that I never liked that LTR recommendation either, in a sense that it’s not for me (I’m naturally nervous and can get anxious too easily as it is). But the way I understood the post, it doesn’t seem like a bad recommendation to men in general. You probably don’t even have to flirt with other women to get the effect. If you’re a desirable man, they will talk to you, and then all you need is to be polite and friendly to them. Even… Read more »

K
Guest
K

Neecy, your angst with the ideas being presented here is merely the feeling that something is ‘false’ about what Rollo is proposing – that being, that there is some level of deception at play here when Rollo advocates taking her hamster for a spin. That’s understandable, and fair; but what is being missed is that in a healthy relationship with a man of high SMV, these interactions that inspire hints of jealousy happen naturally and without any prompting. Jealousy and insecurity aren’t markers of superficial people any more than any other natural human reaction to a situation. Your opposition to… Read more »

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[…] none at all and the marriage becomes stagnant which is equally dangerous. In the right proportion, this anxiety makes for a marriage that retains it’s mutual desire (which is really analogous to Interest […]

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[…] The Gift of Anxiety […]

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[…] got ran up the flag pole by femosphere pundits when I wrote my essays on Dread and Dread Games. Women don’t like overt dominance, just as they don’t like overt […]

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[…] not yet known about MMSL or the Red Pill. It wouldn’t be for a long while that I would read about anxiety and dread and understand what was going on during that […]

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[…] For other men it may be a more overt acknowledgement, one useful in prompting dread or reigniting competition anxiety in women. Still for others, such as Petraeus, the acknowledgement doesn’t really come until […]

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[…] The Gift of Anxiety. […]

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[…] has more to lose on her long-term sexual strategy’s investments these imaginings can inspire an anxiety she’s never known. For a Beta man this is usually the point at which he will double down on his placating in order to […]

rugby11ljh
Guest
rugby11ljh

I need to read everything in order. Self worth is a great topic of discussion.

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