“You’re such a nice guy,..”

I was once included in an interesting conversation about a certain group of women’s inability to find a “nice guy”. The 6 women were all very concerned with the state of contemporary men and the dearth of guys available to them now that felt they’d matured and needed to be appreciated for their readiness to settle down and start a family (see, post-wall, 35+ demographic).

“What is it with men these days? It’s like they’re all self-absorbed jerks now.”

“I know, but I think it’s just another indicator of how messed up society is now.”

“Yeah, why can’t I find a Nice guy? Is that too much to ask for?”

“Rollo, what happened to men? Where are all the Nice guys?”

 

“Back in your 20’s where you left them.”

 

The Nice Guy Space-Time Continuum

Girl age 16: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: ” I don’t want to hurt your feelings, or come off as a bitch to my friends, but I’m really much more attracted to Bad Boys – outlaw bikers, the football team’s quarterback, basically any guy who appears dangerous and exciting. You’re Nice, nice and mundane”

Girl age 22: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: “Thanks for listening on the phone to me cry, fall into verbal hysterics and drone on for hours about my Jerk BF (oh, and my little dog too). You’re really sweet, and deserve a girl  (which isn’t me) who can appreciate how nice (i.e. mundane) you are.”

Girl age 28: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: “I know you’ve always been (an) my emotional tampon, and thanks for sticking with it – any sane guy would’ve found a far better prospect by now. And while I’m beginning to see that guys like you are stable, dependable and tend to make a lot more money than the Jerks I’ve dated, I think I’m gonna hold out for a hotter guy than you while my looks still hold up”

Woman age 32: “Why can’t I just find a nice guy?”

Woman age 35+: “You’re such a nice guy.”

Translation: “Oh, you’re a Nice Guy,..here, let me suck that for you. See? Being a Nice Guy does get you laid!,..thanks for being there for me when I needed you; my fatherless kids appreciate your generosity too. How chivalrous of you to forgive my past indiscretion and take us in, I wish there were more guys like you. I really pity the women who can’t appreciate your kind of dedication – you are so different from “other guys””.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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YOHAMI
9 years ago

ROLF.

Survivorman
Survivorman
9 years ago

Yeah – I was once that guy.

You forgot the part about holding her hair out of the way while she was puking in the toilet at the party..

“Thanks – that was *nice* of you to do that for me!”

Rollo Tomassi
9 years ago

Updated, sorry.

Brent
9 years ago

Enjoyed this one. Well done.

A.B. Dada
9 years ago

I really wish someone had the drive to create a “before and after” website of women at 18, 24, 28 and 34 — watching the Wall hit a good portion of them sometime between 24 and 28. A grandmother of a gal pal from high school (who has since passed away) used to tell said gal pal “You should get a man NOW, you won’t have that chance in a few years.” Granny was right, but having photo evidence to share with both females and males would likely deprogram society faster. Hell, maybe I should make a reality TV show… Read more »

AS1
AS1
9 years ago
Reply to  A.B. Dada

Easy A.B. just check out starlets from the 80’s, 90’s to now. Might be harder then the average woman but you can see women who pride themselves on looks age ie. Demi Moore, Phobe Cates, etc. To OP: It’s funny to read these posts Rollo because I use to be the “nice guy” and have friends who fit the “nice guy” role. It’s amazing to see how women operate with my friends compared to myself. The thoughts women spew out; I laugh, and say to myself those men you say you want are in the friend zone where you are… Read more »

Danger
Danger
9 years ago
Reply to  A.B. Dada

Thankfully, Facebook is already on such a task with their new “timeline” feature.

Now we just need to sit and wait a few years.

finndistan
9 years ago
Reply to  Danger

I was just going to say Facebook.

“Hitting the wall” is an understatement for some of the babes of 1992.

YaReally
YaReally
9 years ago
Reply to  A.B. Dada

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=126811123&page=60

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=139403133&page=2

Don’t read while eating. Or while hoping to have a boner sometime in the next week. So depressing.

Why don’t guys want to marry these “beautiful, accomplished, sexy, incredible, incredibly skilled, affluent, athletic women” now that they’re done sucking a bunch of cocks and are ready to settle down with a Nice Guy??? Come on guys, man-up!!!

Rollo Tomassi
9 years ago
Reply to  YaReally

Oh, gawd,..

It cannot be unseen,..

Fearless
9 years ago
Reply to  YaReally

It’s a game to me and my friends…see how far down the page you can get before you blow chunks. I only got a little past half way.

driveallnight
driveallnight
9 years ago
Reply to  YaReally

Fuck me. Aunt Susan?

itsme
itsme
9 years ago
Reply to  YaReally

those forum threads are depressing, but not surprising. most of the girls in their ‘before’ shots had already started down the path to fatness.

if you take an already thickish high school girl and add a few years of college drinking and eating crap food, fatness is inevitable.

Nutz
Nutz
9 years ago
Reply to  A.B. Dada

Roissy had a thing about this last year citing Facebook as a means to do just that:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/12/09/facebook-is-smv-time-compression-info/

deti
deti
9 years ago

Woman age 32: Why can’t I just find a Nice Guy?

Translation: My jerk ex BF/ex husband left me with this 4 year old rugrat, a stack of bills and a broken down car. Well, actually, I kicked him out, but who’s keeping score? I’m screaming toward The Wall at Mach 3, I can feel my eggs dying and my body shriveling up, and I need a beta provider yesterday. But they don’t tingle me like alpha douchebags do, so ….

unbowed
unbowed
9 years ago

Good post, succinct & to the point.
Wonder if any women are able to link up what they say with the translation?
I suspect not: Hamsters are adept enough to toss a frothy bit of indignant spew on the neural transmitters.

Leap of a Beta
9 years ago

Hahaha. Love it. Man, I love the way hamsters behave when they’re given very real proof of how the wall hits everyone via facebook. We haven’t had it long enough to go from college girls to 40 year olds all on it that whole time, but some of the older women posting younger photos of themselves….. Its telling. Even more hilarious is the older women using photos atleast 10 years old as profile pictures. Or baby photos. Good job at hiding the damage of the wall behind the past. It should be enough to inspire the fear of God into… Read more »

deti
deti
9 years ago
Reply to  Leap of a Beta

Leap:

The part about facebook really is true. Go read Rollo’s post on that. It’s really something.

I’m in my mid 40’s, so college for me was more than 20 years ago. It is really something to look at FB profiles and see how hard and fast some have hit The Wall.

AS1
AS1
9 years ago
Reply to  deti

deti,

It’s even more telling when you see these 35+ old women who denied you in their teens and twenties add you on FB after being successful in game and life.

Bill
Bill
9 years ago
Reply to  AS1

Gentlemen, FB is a hoot.

I was a nerdy guy in high school, 35+ years ago. Few of the girls i went to school with would give me the time of day.

Now, the ones who were hot then are sending me Friend requests. Many are still attractive (for mid-50s women), but I’m getting the same action with gals in their mid-30s. Too easy by half.

Leap of a Beta
9 years ago
Reply to  deti

Yeah Deti, its pretty hilarious. My mother was scandalized when I told her one of her great friends who’s younger than my mom and only 5 years older than me warrants a 6 or 7 instead of the 10 she and my mom thinks she does. Friend is 33, divorced, single, career girl with a liberal arts education who is considering going and getting an MFA in Opera singing (she was successful and used to tour before she got married and went into the career thing). She’s in great shape from exercise, but started hitting the wall early. Started wearing… Read more »

Socialkenny
9 years ago

I get the point.But what is this saying to newbies?What should they learn from the above situations?

Ace
Ace
9 years ago

There are synonyms to nice.
e.g.
Like a Teddy
Cute
Down to earth
Haha….The worst one is Humble……that’s what I got.

Scott
Scott
9 years ago

Many of the “nice guys” are dorks and they act quite feminine, so it’s not surprising form a genetic attraction stand point that women are not attracted to nice guys. It would be like telling a man to be attracted to a chubby lady just because she has a nice personality. It’s similar when a thin model puts on a fat-suit to look obese and guys look at her disgustingly. Nice guys (not having to do with kindness, but with a lack of masculinity) say in a pathetic way that they want a girlfriend, but when told to exercise/approach women,… Read more »

Candide
Candide
9 years ago

I’ve adopted your “you left them behind in your 20s” for my last time hanging out with the boys joking about chicks around our age (late 20s, early 30s):

“Where are all the good men?”
“You left them behind 20kg ago.”

You’d think they’d try to keep in shape if they’re so desperate to snag a man, right?

There are still suckers who would take those chicks but their numbers dwindle day by day.

TRW
TRW
9 years ago

So, game then is the antidote to a dead end world view (fem-centric) that co opts the nice guy. Game equals survival skills that benefit men in having productive interaction with the opposite sex. So, game can be distilled down to a counter intuitive understanding of the female imperative and the biology behind it…yesterday I was in a meeting with the CTO and a few women…CTO makes very slight off handed sexist remark then backslides…the matrix is strong.

Mike
9 years ago

Every high school kid should read this. However I suspect it’s like the Oracle of Delphi. They won’t understand it.

Nutz
Nutz
9 years ago
Reply to  Mike

Agreed. I see it as a case of “youth is wasted on the young”.

a simpler palce in time
a simpler palce in time
9 years ago

“You’ll make a good husband.” is the post-wall, 2.2 kids, crossover SUV, 2800 sq ft house in the good school district, hooks kidney deep into a beta provider equivalent. Heard this from the “camp moms” a few times at the summer camp I worked at in high school. They would often bring it up shortly after I’d get discouraged seeing the fresh out of juvie dark triad asshole, destined to pump gas between his prison stints, with all the camp’s suburban tartlet teenagers hanging all over him. In many ways it is more insidious than “nice guy” because its warping… Read more »

finndistan
9 years ago

Simple, short, true.

“The 6 women were all very concerned with the state of contemporary men and the dearth of guys available to them now that felt they’d matured and needed to be appreciated for their readiness to settle down and start a family (see, post-wall, 35+ demographic).”

While complaining that all the guys around them being self-absorbed jerks right now, they still can be proud of the self-absorbed jerks they fucked in droves as these guys are what makes these ladies appreciate a nice-guy now…

My hamster just had a stroke. Dead.

Driver9
Driver9
9 years ago

Man is so constructed that he does not believe a stove is hot unless he touches one.

Woman is so constructed that she does not believe every single stove it hot until she touches it. She finally gets the message after her hand has burned off.

walawala
walawala
9 years ago

Tell a girl she’s “cute”…it has the same impact as being called a “nice guy”…

Flahute
Flahute
9 years ago
Reply to  walawala

That reminds me of a good story. I once met a woman online. She sent me some photos and asked me what I thought. She was pretty but too chubby for me — she needed to drop 15 pounds. “You’re really cute. You look so huggable and squeezable.” Her hamster went into overdrive, “What does that mean? Does he like me or not? Did he just call me fat?” She got friend-zoned and then dropped.

She contacted me again 9 months later to tell me how she had lost 15 pounds.

tom
tom
9 years ago

hahaha this post is just brilliant…

Scott Mitchell
9 years ago

This is exceptionally awesome! lol

TRW
TRW
9 years ago

My former beta self blew out a 1 year in October because I somehow imagined that mr nice guy can fix it. And mr nice guy begins to backslide down this fem-centric modality and used the beta nice guy playbook only to now realize how the attraction evaporates all the while getting cross-haired by hypergamy…ex is now in a race aginst the wall, reving up to mach speed in a reboud…ex meet wall. http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com

chris
chris
9 years ago

These days nice guy is code for self-effacing cuckold.

Or maybe just cuckold.

cassius
cassius
9 years ago

Wife age 26: “You’re such a nice guy.”

I don’t know why I married you, and I am now about to correct that mistake.

Doc
Doc
9 years ago

I learned early that being a “nice guy” was for chumps and never looked back. Although I do admit to not having any patience for females around my age when in high-school – they were too much of a tease. I was strictly on a diet of older, married, women at that time. They were a LOT easier to come by, and didn’t play as many games – basically, it seemed if you could find a time when husband and/or kids were out of the house, you could bang them with wild abandon. To this day, the oldest woman I… Read more »

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[…] that one has to be careful not to go too far in the other direction, as women care nothing for “nice guys.” This caught him off guard. Which is not surprising, as it is a rarity to come across other […]

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[…] “Nice guy” translation – http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/03/12/youre-such-a-nice-guy/ […]

YoYo Ma
YoYo Ma
9 years ago

“I have risen above calling women bitches…”

Dude, you are so transparent. I’m man enough to call a bitch a bitch and a punk a punk.

Scott = woman…

or just a fake ass pussy whipped punk.

morgan
morgan
8 years ago

Am just 21 but i rily want a nyc guy!! they are so sweet no more bad boyz

seth Agyekum
seth Agyekum
7 years ago

I need male company

trackback
6 years ago

[…] […]

trackback

[…] on the internet. Namely, being too emotionally available will get women to say what a “nice guy” you are, but not much else. The reality is that “chicks dig […]

Roy
Roy
5 years ago

Woman age 42+: “You’re such a nice guy.”

“I enjoyed (not really) sucking that for you. I love you but I’m not in love with you… In fact, I find you kind of annoying and mundane. Since you are a Nice Guy you will understand I have other needs and you are not part of them (by far). I will take half of all your shit and the kids (who were never really yours) and you will have to support me for life. Thanks for being part of the plan… You are such a Nice Guy. You will understand”.

alphabravotango
alphabravotango
5 years ago

So how do you respond to the 35+ woman who is presenting you with a consolation prize at the best?

Ohfuckthisagain
Ohfuckthisagain
5 years ago

if you’re being a nice guy to get laid…you’re not a nice guy. And you’re probably worse than a bad boy. At least bad boys are masculine. You”re a wimp and a misogynist at the same time..wow what a catch you must be.

TJ
TJ
2 years ago

I was the ‘nice guy’ in high school and got passed over time and time again. Went to my HS reunion and was the center of attention for several women as they finally figured out the type of guys they had been going for are jerks. All it took was a decade or two. In my opinion, women focus on the type of guy they first find are self assured, at my HS it was exclusively the jocks and the loudest ones were the most clueless (they ALL ended up in manual low paying jobs). The smarter girls finally realize… Read more »

kfg
kfg
2 years ago
SJF
SJF
2 years ago

While you are at it TJ, also read these regarding red pill awareness and contingent strategies:

https://therationalmale.com/2015/07/20/that-was-then/

https://therationalmale.com/2015/07/24/this-is-now/

theasdgamer
2 years ago

Every time I try to act like a nice guy, it never works.

boulderhead
2 years ago

Lol it only took ten or twenty years,talk about long game.

Vic
Vic
3 months ago

I got exactly that response when I tried online dating in my late 20s. There was this pretty 28 y.o. brunette, the conversation started well (I thought), and when I finally pushed to meet, she says: “You’re such a nice guy. But I’m not ready to settle down at this point in my life, I still want to have a bit more fun…” I felt insulted! Like, she only saw me good for a husband, but not for having fun with now ?? That must mean that being husband won’t really be about having genuine fun with me then… I… Read more »

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