Dispelling the Magic

Women get the men they deserve.

One point I try to make in my roaming about blogs dedicated to intergender dynamics is reading articles from many different perspectives. When I have the time, I actively hunt down articles that I know I will disagree with. I think it’s far too easy to get locked into the habit of seeking out bloggers, articles and statistics that reaffirm our own particular views. Even within the circles with which we’d be inclined to agree with there will often be a lot of conflicting viewpoints – such as the recent conflict pitting the MRAs vs. the PUAs, or Game vs. MGTOW.

I began this blog with the intent of studying the reasons why intergender social and psychological dynamics evolve, what functions they serve, and develop contingencies or actionable methods of bettering one’s life using this information – really this is the core of Game. The problem inherent in this, and really unplugging in general, is that it often comes with a healthy dose of disillusionment. Once you strip away the heady fantasies of soul-mates and expectations of ‘happily ever afters”, and replace it with a more practical understanding based on reasonably reliable, empirical explanations, what you’re left with looks a lot like nihilism. Even for the most staunch realists among the ‘community’ there’s still a desire to want to apply, however slightly, some kind of mysticism to the process of connecting with another human being. With other Men it may be some esoteric desire to cast their association in terms of honor, integrity or respect – with women it comes as idealization or predestination.

I’m not saying this desire to spiritualize these connections is without merit, but I can’t help but see the conflict it has in coexisting with the practicality of what we’re learning about ourselves. Just in the last 30 years we’ve come to understand the biochemical natures of our emotions. We know a hormone like oxytocin induces feelings of trust and promotes nurturing. We know that the endorphin / dopamine profile associated with feelings of infatuation, lust and love is chemically similar to that of heroine. Poof! There goes the magic. We have an understanding of women’s ovulatory cycles and the resulting sexual behavioral habits that are induced by them. Only the generations of the late 20th and 21st are privy to this information. Evo-Psychology has only risen to prominence as a field of study in the past 15 years.

Discomfort and Disillusion

All of this makes for some very uncomfortable realizations, particularly when men become aware of the social schemas established to keep them in a female-centric reality. Game is a recent countermeasure developed by men to better adapt to this feminine primacy, but it was only possible through advances in both communication technologies, access to globalized information and new socio-psychological theory. Prior to these advancements, and with the rise of feminization from the late 60s to the late 90s men were clueless as to their social predicament. From the start of the sexual revolution until the beginning of this millennia, western masculinity (and femininity) has been subjected to the greatest deliberate social and psychological restructuring, any generation has ever known. And I shouldn’t limit that exclusively to western culture; now we see this effect filtering into Asia, Japan, even traditionally masculine Latin cultures. As westernization spreads, so too does it’s feminization.

What have men been left clinging to? The pseudo-guilt we’ve been taught to be ashamed of as part of our past “patriarchy” to be sure, but more importantly we were left with the vestiges of that magical thinking. In the face of a yet undefined hypergamy, we wanted to still believe in the ‘Sugar & Spice’ myth, the respect her wishes motive, the marriage goal – all of which were (are) still actively reinforced by a feminine imperative that knew its time had come and men were too stupid in their romanticism to know it. That is until the Meta Game was established.

The great and powerful Oz that was feminization is finally having the curtain pulled back on it. In this new age of communication men can globally “share notes” and come to their own conclusions – and women shriek all the louder as we hit closer to the truth. Thanks to its relative anonymity, no longer is there any social stigma to fear from even broaching the subject of how best to deal with women. The great wailing we hear and read from women is less about current social implications and more about having the 30 year social program of feminization being exposed for what it truly was. Yet even in the face of men seeing the Empress with no clothes, they still make appeals to the romantic, magical association men clung to before they became aware of a hypergamy enabling feminization. We read cries of Man-Up! Accept your previous responsibilities of being a husband and leader, but don’t be overbearing and crush our spirits. And in the back row a new generation of women, the 22 year olds, scream “where’s the party?” as they upload a fresh set of nudes shot in the bathroom from their cell phones.

Women get the men they deserve. For all the crowing and publicity of feminine triumphalism, there’s still a wonderment at why men are increasingly less and less motivated to play along in their feminine reality. As tough as it is for men to disabuse themselves of their romanticism, it’s even more so for women to accept their own natures in the shadow of the experiment that was 20th century feminization. They’re reaping the whirlwind that the Matriarchy of the sexual revolution has sown. It’s all the more ironic to read the same mothers who created this generation of men lament how their daughters are unmarried and childless at 35.

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A.B. Dada
Guest

Fuck ’em… I get “defriended” constantly by women I’ve been friends with for a decade or more, typically over my response to every woman’s “Why am I single at 32?” question. Well, you’re fat. You’re overeducated. You’re too focused on career. You can’t cook. Your apartment is a mess, you own too much shit that you still pay for and will, your Facebook photos are all about you partying with idiots versus doing fun and exciting things, you’re broke because you can’t stop partying and spending, you’ve destroyed your ability to bond with a man by sleeping with dozens of… Read more »

unbowed
Guest
unbowed

The danger of spirtualizing a connection is if it blinds you as to why you got the woman in the first place and, crucially, how you can keep her. I can get misty-eyed over my dog bringing me my slippers but still be aware that it’s an animal that’s been designed by thousands of years of breeding to be pleasing to humans; ultimately it’s a highly domesticated animal that would happily eat me if there was no other food. And yet also be aware that for all this there is a real connection, a real oneness, between myself, the animal… Read more »

House of Jacques
Guest
House of Jacques

You Americans are already fighting back. I salute you for your courage, intelligence and resourcefulness. Back home in Latin America, this is only starting. I’m 22 and I can tell that my mother’s/father’s generation was a fine generation. Real women and real men. Not to say they were happy; we have our own set of troubles, closely related to the economic hardships we face. But I digress. In my generation the Ragnarok is barely starting. We boys grew up being taught to be Men, decisive and a little bit macho; and the girls, our parents told ’em to be sweet,… Read more »

samseau
Guest
samseau

“I have to neg ‘em hard to get their attention. They have had an American outlook imparted on them so they think that they’re superior to me. Fuck ‘em.”

22 and you realize this? I can promise you that your years will be filled with many types of pussy. Enjoy your manifest destiny. I know I’m enjoying mine.

Markus
Guest
Markus

“I’m not saying this desire to spiritualize these connections is without merit, but I can’t help but see the conflict it has in coexisting with the practicality of what we’re learning about ourselves. Just in the last 30 years we’ve come to understand the biochemical natures of our emotions. We know a hormone like oxytocin induces feelings of trust and promotes nurturing. We know that the endorphin / dopamine profile associated with feelings of infatuation, lust and love is chemically similar to that of heroine. Poof! There goes the magic.” I’ve never really understood this point of view. Yes, we… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
Guest
Good Luck Chuck

The side lesson here is that women get the men they deserve because although women are a reflection of man, femininity is the inspiration for masculinity. Femininity has slowly been stripped from women to the point where it is now normal and acceptable for women to act like men. Why won’t I commit to an american woman? It isn’t because I am “afraid” or that I want to be a kid my entire life. It is because I have tasted the intoxicating effects of femininity and I am not prepared to settle for anything less. I know what it should… Read more »

xsplat
Guest

Ya. Love may be an illusion. Love may be a lie. But as lies and illusions go, it’s good. It’s better to feel it than not.

You can know you are watching a movie, and still be engrossed in it and enjoy it.

Our brains are wired to feel good from sunsets and shared laughter and shared orgasms. So be it.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

That was a loose illustration of a greater whole. I’m not debating the cause or effect, but rather our new interpretations given the new data and the realizations that we are, and are continuing to be had. Man: “Ah, finally! I see the code in the Matrix!” Matrix: “No you don’t, there is no Matrix” Man: “Yes I do, and I know you’ve been deceiving me for the last 30 years.” Matrix: “No, there is no Matrix, you’re only seeing what you want to see because you’ve become bitter.” Man: “Wow, look at all of this evidence. So this is… Read more »

xsplat
Guest

I’ll be looking forward to when you feel ready to start relating to women – perhaps it will be when you are no longer in the west. I’ll be looking forward to it, because it is always a pleasure to see someone go through the pains of disillusionment. You won’t find what you are looking for. You’ll find something else. Seventy percent of what you see as problems with western women are problems with women. The thirty percent of problems that you do escape are replaced with new good traits plus large new deficits that will irk you terribly. I… Read more »

xsplat
Guest

Your main point is nicely noted. The internet has revolutionized male society.

xsplat
Guest

I saw it happen first on expat blogs. Perhaps as that’s where my attention lay 10 years ago. Or perhaps they were a vanguard.

House of Jacques
Guest
House of Jacques

This. I hear PUA talking up South American girls because they’re feminine, they appreciate men, they don’t talk back, etc. Well, guess what. They’re not perfect. They’re inveterate manipulators. They use their femininity against you. They lie and turn everything around so that they look good and you look bad. Etc. You know what a friend once told me? He knew of a guy who was dating a girl and he wouldn’t marry. The girl got mad at him and said, “I’m not putting out if you don’t marry me” Well, gues what? They didn’t have sex for around three… Read more »

Markus
Guest
Markus

Yeah, but even if you see the code, does it have to be ugly? Can’t you simply see it for what it is? I’m pretty sure I get what you mean, and I don’t like it either, but there’s no need to let it get to you. I mean, there’s an initial shock of “what the fuck is this?” but after that… truth and understanding are valuable in that they open your eyes. In that sense, the magic is dispelled. But they also give you new tools to use in changing the code, crafting your own reality. Which is exactly… Read more »

itsme
Guest
itsme

and the guy, like many guys, had no game.

same characters in a slightly different setting.

women everywhere all have the same programming – it’s what makes them women.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

And I shouldn’t limit that exclusively to western culture; now we see this effect filtering into Asia, Japan, even traditionally masculine Latin cultures. As westernization spreads, so too does it’s feminization. Since I began my current line of work I’ve been to the Netherlands, Belgium, France, Panama, China, Canada and Aruba and from what I could gather of the societal differences in those places with regards to how women and men interact, Panama was really the only country where I was impressed by how women regarded men in any significantly different way. It may just have been my impression at… Read more »

deti
Guest
deti

“All of this makes for some very uncomfortable realizations, particularly when men become aware of the social schemas established to keep them in a female-centric reality.” Indeed. Some of those “uncomfortable realizations”: 1. Married women are every bit as capable of cheating on husbands as married men are of cheating on their wives. 2. “Unconditional love” and “soulmates” are fictions, figments of the female centric imagination. 3. Women will ruthlessly act in their own self-interest and are not above lying, manipulation and scheming to do so. 4. Women are not naturally monogamous for life; but instead exhibit tendencies to serial… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
Guest
Good Luck Chuck

That 30% you speak of is HUGE, xsplat. I’m not complaining about hypergamy or women’s nature in general. My beef is with the culture here that doesn’t hold women accountable to any standard of femininity. Our women believe that high heels and a pair of fake tits is all that is required to be “feminine”. They are caricatures of women, much like the douchebag men they so love are caricatures of men. It seems that the only glimpse I get of femininity these days is in second generation women whose parents came from a place where traditional gender roles are… Read more »

xsplat
Guest

You will get more feminine girls, and a culture that respects both masculine and feminine roles. That comes at a price that takes a while to learn to pay. The girls will also tend to neglect having any masculine interests – and that includes having any interests outside of dating or home care. Conversation will suffer. Also, the negative feminine traits that are often kept in check by a token attempt at rationality can be given full reign, and the girls allow themselves bouts of more intense girlish insanity. Also, the girls are more deceptive and cunning and will play… Read more »

loveiseasy
Guest
loveiseasy

I agree. Although love is certainly chemically induced, I don’t feel that it discounts the quality of the experience.

Good Luck Chuck
Guest
Good Luck Chuck

Although I love asian women and southeast asian food, I lean more toward eastern Europe with south/central america coming in second and asia a close third. Actually I love the women and the food in all of those areas but the cultural differences seem too steep the further east you go. And just to be clear I wouldn’t be moving solely for the women. I love history and culture as well. If I were to move anywhere for a significant amount of time these things would hold as much or more weight than the women. Matter of fact EE wouldn’t… Read more »

houseofjacques
Guest

I read Roosh’s recent post on how the corruption is spreading to all countries in the world, too. It scared the shit out of me.

I haven’t still swallowed the whole red pill. I’m in the “Bargaining” phase. “Surely not ALL girls in ALL countries are like that, dammit?” I’ll have to experience it by myself if I’m to move on to the next stage.

Wudang
Guest
Wudang

Rollo, I highly recomend you read Cupids poisoned arrow for insight on the dopamine and oxytocin dynamic. THe results in terms of maintaining sexual attraction and love from using the approach to sex they outline in the book are amazing. THat approach is based on a theory on how dopamine and oxytocin interact and how certain styles of sex infulence their levels. I also have a couple of posts about it at fastseduction that give a quick overview of the theories.

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MikePhil
Guest
MikePhil

I still can’t get I’ve how good the writing is here and how amazingly perceptive Rollo’s insights are. This blog literally altered my complete understanding about women and how they operate. Thank you again for peeling the lid off and exposing the truth about what we’ve been suckered into believing and following. Never, ever again will I take anything a woman says at face value.

sam
Guest
sam

I don’t think game is a recent invention..all the indians I’ve met had game, I think its the natural state..farming/christianity is anti-game.