The Beta Hamster

I’ve never had meaningless sex; I meant to bang every woman I’ve ever banged.

It’s endlessly entertaining to read the rationalizations men will create in order to better identify with what they’ve been conditioned to think is expected of them to achieve the ‘precious gift’ of a woman’s intimacy. They get quite creative sometimes. Aunt Susan has (yet another) anecdotal analysis of Casual Sex highlighting exactly these anonymous stabs at male pre-qualification courtesy of Reddit. And once again, in classic feminine form, the thread becomes this echo chamber circle jerk of male identifiers qualifying themselves to the equally anonymous women – parroting the ‘right thing to say’, and we all renew our faith in humanity and the hope for men who really ‘relate to what women want’.

I think I covered this identification motive as a primary element of Beta Game fairly adequately in Identity Crisis, but lets look under the hood at this specific dynamic. The inherent problem with doubting what is intended as the noble motives of a guy to eschew casual sex is that you risk appearing shallow for doing so. Betas generally love to wallow in preconceptions of nobility and delusions of being more ‘deep’ than the general mass of men that they hear women complain of. They think it gives them an edge. It’s an integral part of the beta mating strategy; the more alike you are with women the more they’ll appreciate you as being unique and reward you with sex.

The Spinning Wheel

For beta men this mindset also has the added bonus of giving the perception that he is unique among men in his ability to place the importance of relationship above his natural impulses. In publicly confirming his stance on placing relationship (women’s first security priority, i.e. wait for sex) above his ever-present physical need for sex, his subconscious hope is to appear so in control of his feelings and so above his feral nature that women will have to appreciate him as a paragon of female identification. That’s some REAL pre-fucking-qualification there Mr. Alpha. This guy not only has the capacity, but also the depth and conviction to turn off his sexuality in order to better comply with the relationship security priority women need to enable their own sexual strategy. This is the ultimate in pedestalization of womankind – to put women’s emotional criteria above his physical need for sex. And the god of biomechanics laughed atop his throne of genitalia.

The Beta Hamster

It’s very difficult to criticize social dynamics rooted in personal feelings. All one need say is “it’s just how I feel” and the discussion grinds to a halt because who am I, or who are you, to doubt the veracity of what they’re telling me? Add to this that it’s men who are the true romantics of the sexes and it gets even harder to be suspect of an underlying self-serving motive. In fact it may not even be a conscious effort on the part of a guy to express this. Feminization has conditioned into society a greater, almost default validity for personal feelings. As men have become increasingly adaptive to a feminized culture, placing primacy on identifying with, becoming more like, women, so too have they developed their own version of the female imagination – the feminized-male version of the mental Hamster that spins the wheel in women’s heads. The doubts, suspicions and anxieties caused by the male Hamster are directed towards an idealized female-centric goal state which they mistakenly believe is a male-centric goal state.

Behaviorism

Self-reporting has always been an unreliable measure in psychological analysis, particularly when the one doing the reporting isn’t aware of the latent purpose of the psychology behind those ‘feelings’ they’re sharing. The only truly reliable, provable means of demonstrating motive or intent is observable behavior. It’s kind of a cliché in the community now, but bears repeating: never believe what a woman says, believe what she does. We use this meme more liberally with women because men make the mistake of wanting to believe that women are more rational agents than they are emotional agents, but this should really apply to men as well, and particularly when men are predisposed to women’s mental models.

From a behavioral standpoint, we’re going to see a lot of incongruent behaviors vs. the Beta Hamster’s rationalizations. To begin with, I’m not going to deny that there is some base element in men that desires a real emotional connection with a woman. However, sex is a man’s priority, it’s a biological imperative, and actively denying that it isn’t or creating mental schemas that attempt to sublimate this imperative are disingenuous at best, psychologically retarding at worst. Sex is the glue that keeps a relationship together, and it’s sexual arousal that prompts a relationship in the first place. Deemphasizing sex, actively desexualizing yourself in the hopes that it will make you more sexually arousing is an effort in self-defeat.

To paraphrase Joe Rogan, men will blow themselves up for the very unlikely possibility of sex in another dimension. That’s the degree to which men place a value on sex, any sex, meaningful, a fuck buddy, a hooker, any sex. Pornography isn’t a multi-billion dollar industry because guys are concerned with adding some nebulous ‘meaning’ to sex. Women are concerned with applying meaning to sex because it is integral to their long term mating strategy and locking down a commitment of male provisioning. The men who claim to share in this importance (at least initially) are listening to the Beta Hamster and repeating what it says to them back to the women they hope to fuck. Even anonymously on a Reddit thread, they can’t let the pretense drop for fear that they’d miss a potential opportunity to prove themselves as ‘deep’ meaning oriented guys.

I have to laugh when men make these self-effacing claims to be seeking more ‘meaning’ after they tire of their long string of ONSs or ‘cheap sex’. Statistically, most men never even approach a lay count that could validate such a claim. According to the most recent studies I’ve read, most men have an average of 7 sexual partners over the course of a lifetime. That may be changing, but even if it were an average of 10 or 12 it would still make the rationale for seeking ‘meaningful’ sex as a result ridiculous, as well as suspect of a feminine-identifying mating strategy. Add to this that 80% (a conservative estimate) of men are plugged-in betas, hopelessly lacking the social skills and motivation to rack up a lay count that would ever justify this reasoning. So what is it that compels them to concoct these self-convincing rationalizations? The Beta Hamster.

It’s a far healthier mentality for men to embrace their own sexuality. God forbid a woman actually might think you find her sexy and want to fuck her. Despite their protestations, women want guys to want to fuck them. Women often complain that the reason they don’t feel sexual is due to their not feeling sexy, and they wont feel sexy if you approach sex from an asexual starting point because you think it adds ‘meaning’. Of the 40+ women I’ve had sex with, not one do I regret banging. I most definitely regretted some of the ensuing drama as a result of a few of those relationships, but I thoroughly enjoyed the sex. Sex for the sake of sex is OK. Trust me, after the one thousandth time you’ve had sex with your wife or LTR, sex for the sake of sex is fantastic. Stop writing poetry about sex and get fucking.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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caRIOca
Guest
caRIOca

7 sexual partners, 40+ sexual partners. Hookers included?

I keep a log with name, age, dates before fucking, use of condom and profession. But I don’t include hookers.

Here in Brazil fucking a hooker is easy as eating at McDonald’s.

Sam Spade
Guest
Sam Spade

So you’re saying I should cancel my membership with these guys?

(r)Evoluzione
Guest
(r)Evoluzione

As usual, you’re on point, Rollo. I concur in every way–I meant to bang every woman I ever did. Regrets: I woke up once with a bad case of buyer’s remorse after a drunken hookup in college with a smokin’ hottie volleyball player. At that time, I was a complicated mix of natural alpha & acquired beta tendencies. I wish I had controlled that buyer’s remorse. because she was a tiger in bed, and by expressing remorse in front of her, she shut me out for future sex. I don’t regret having sex with her, I regret the regret. So… Read more »

Doc
Guest
Doc

Gotta say that I loved Brazil – the women, both hookers and those oh so willing students, were all lovely specimens. Keep meaning to go back to explore more of the country (and the women) – Rio, Buzios, and San Paolo only give a flavor of the country. Of course, not speaking Portuguese was a hassle but I could “get by” with Spanish. I always wanted to see about setting up a branch-office there, but the laws make it tricky. (Have to admit part of the reason for looking into it was the idea of having the US Government subsidize… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

I should really delete this. Heheh,..

YOHAMI
Guest

Amen.

caRIOca
Guest
caRIOca

How the easy access to prostitution can change social dynamics?

I’m asking it because here, in Brazil, fucking a hooker is easy as eating at McDonald’s. A typical brazilian beta will fuck 100+ women (99% paying) in his life. It’s more than alpha average in most places.

I guess that this easy access contributes to male betatization. If I can fuck easy like this, why am I going to bother investing energy and time on chasing girls?

The 3rd bullet on male’s mate selection checklist would explain it?

Doc
Guest
Doc

I can’t “unsee” that disgusting pablum… I thought it was a joke at first – kept waiting for them to get to the “punch line” that didn’t come – at least not in the minute or so that I actually watched… (A minute of my life that I will never get back I might add.) I truly think this is the first time I’ve ever seen such pathetic excuses for men – and I feel dirty that any man would stoop to such a disgusting display. I don’t apologize for loving women, nor do I apologize for acknowledging them as… Read more »

Jordan
Guest

Seconded.

Advocatus Diaboli
Guest

An old post in which I write about the types of women who rejected me-

http://dissention.wordpress.com/2010/07/28/the-dark-side-5/

There is a reason I started paying for sex by my mid-20s.

samseau
Guest
samseau

Yeah. It’s because your unattractive and have no game.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

That’s too easy a response. AD is actually one of the few bloogers I’ve read who makes a very convincing case for prostitution being a legitimate alternative to Game. You should really read his essays on it.

It’s easy to dismiss AD because generally speaking prostitution has been characterized as the last resort for desperate chumps, and maybe not without merit, but the real question is why it’s got the stigma in the first place and the latent purposes for society maintaining it.

driveallnight
Guest
driveallnight

Yes. Anywhere in the world where sex is easily accessed via prostitution, the women I encounter there are friendlier, sexier, and more feminine than their Western counterparts. Hmmm, I wonder why….

Sam Spade
Guest
Sam Spade

Right on. I only shared that video to show how low some men will go to abandon their masculinity and try to self-identify with women. It’s still clearly an attempt to ingratiate one’s self with the supposed “better angels” of the female sex.

It does seem like a bad SNL sketch at first – I always expect Sting to turn up at some point.

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JDiggity
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JDiggity

Hmm, well, I’m glad I accidentally came across this article (no pun intended), even though it’s currently keeping me away from my movie. Guess I’ll just have to type fast and finish before my buzz wears off. So, sure, there’s much I can agree with here in the article and the following comments, yet at the same time, I can’t quite help but feel that a fair amount of you fellows are, or have been for some time, sliding down the misogynist side of the slope. I understand that many of you are interested in, and appreciate women (or not?),… Read more »

Underdog
Guest
Underdog

Wow at the post above. So THAT’S what a woman pretending to be a man sounds like.

PS – I drove escorts for 2 years and you, ma’am, are no escort driver.

YOHAMI
Guest

Yeah wtf with that.

jacklabear
Guest
jacklabear

‘He’ is a “vegetation” all right!

rugby11ljh
Guest
rugby11ljh

Hot damn. I’m learning and this isn’t familiar anymore.

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[…] they were honest, these are the guys who will Beta Hamster their Blue Pill ideal of the ‘right’ girl being any one who acknowledges his Blue Pill […]

Personlig coach
Guest

“Sex for the sake of sex is OK. Trust me, after the one thousandth time you’ve had sex with your wife or LTR, sex for the sake of sex is fantastic. Stop writing poetry about sex and get fucking.”

Lol, this is true!

K
Guest
K

why doubt the personal experiences of people? You don’t live in their mind or know their circumstances. Yes self reporting is unreliable, but this right here shows that if someone else is doing something differently and is happy about it, you will gas light them and tell them they are wrong and don’t understand their own mind, “your experience is not my experience so you are wrong”

Pinelero
Guest
Pinelero

@K- your response is the beta hamster this posting was about …LOL!

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