The Beta Hamster

I’ve never had meaningless sex; I meant to bang every woman I’ve ever banged.

It’s endlessly entertaining to read the rationalizations men will create in order to better identify with what they’ve been conditioned to think is expected of them to achieve the ‘precious gift’ of a woman’s intimacy. They get quite creative sometimes. Aunt Susan has (yet another) anecdotal analysis of Casual Sex highlighting exactly these anonymous stabs at male pre-qualification courtesy of Reddit. And once again, in classic feminine form, the thread becomes this echo chamber circle jerk of male identifiers qualifying themselves to the equally anonymous women – parroting the ‘right thing to say’, and we all renew our faith in humanity and the hope for men who really ‘relate to what women want’.

I think I covered this identification motive as a primary element of Beta Game fairly adequately in Identity Crisis, but lets look under the hood at this specific dynamic. The inherent problem with doubting what is intended as the noble motives of a guy to eschew casual sex is that you risk appearing shallow for doing so. Betas generally love to wallow in preconceptions of nobility and delusions of being more ‘deep’ than the general mass of men that they hear women complain of. They think it gives them an edge. It’s an integral part of the beta mating strategy; the more alike you are with women the more they’ll appreciate you as being unique and reward you with sex.

The Spinning Wheel

For beta men this mindset also has the added bonus of giving the perception that he is unique among men in his ability to place the importance of relationship above his natural impulses. In publicly confirming his stance on placing relationship (women’s first security priority, i.e. wait for sex) above his ever-present physical need for sex, his subconscious hope is to appear so in control of his feelings and so above his feral nature that women will have to appreciate him as a paragon of female identification. That’s some REAL pre-fucking-qualification there Mr. Alpha. This guy not only has the capacity, but also the depth and conviction to turn off his sexuality in order to better comply with the relationship security priority women need to enable their own sexual strategy. This is the ultimate in pedestalization of womankind – to put women’s emotional criteria above his physical need for sex. And the god of biomechanics laughed atop his throne of genitalia.

The Beta Hamster

It’s very difficult to criticize social dynamics rooted in personal feelings. All one need say is “it’s just how I feel” and the discussion grinds to a halt because who am I, or who are you, to doubt the veracity of what they’re telling me? Add to this that it’s men who are the true romantics of the sexes and it gets even harder to be suspect of an underlying self-serving motive. In fact it may not even be a conscious effort on the part of a guy to express this. Feminization has conditioned into society a greater, almost default validity for personal feelings. As men have become increasingly adaptive to a feminized culture, placing primacy on identifying with, becoming more like, women, so too have they developed their own version of the female imagination – the feminized-male version of the mental Hamster that spins the wheel in women’s heads. The doubts, suspicions and anxieties caused by the male Hamster are directed towards an idealized female-centric goal state which they mistakenly believe is a male-centric goal state.


Self-reporting has always been an unreliable measure in psychological analysis, particularly when the one doing the reporting isn’t aware of the latent purpose of the psychology behind those ‘feelings’ they’re sharing. The only truly reliable, provable means of demonstrating motive or intent is observable behavior. It’s kind of a cliché in the community now, but bears repeating: never believe what a woman says, believe what she does. We use this meme more liberally with women because men make the mistake of wanting to believe that women are more rational agents than they are emotional agents, but this should really apply to men as well, and particularly when men are predisposed to women’s mental models.

From a behavioral standpoint, we’re going to see a lot of incongruent behaviors vs. the Beta Hamster’s rationalizations. To begin with, I’m not going to deny that there is some base element in men that desires a real emotional connection with a woman. However, sex is a man’s priority, it’s a biological imperative, and actively denying that it isn’t or creating mental schemas that attempt to sublimate this imperative are disingenuous at best, psychologically retarding at worst. Sex is the glue that keeps a relationship together, and it’s sexual arousal that prompts a relationship in the first place. Deemphasizing sex, actively desexualizing yourself in the hopes that it will make you more sexually arousing is an effort in self-defeat.

To paraphrase Joe Rogan, men will blow themselves up for the very unlikely possibility of sex in another dimension. That’s the degree to which men place a value on sex, any sex, meaningful, a fuck buddy, a hooker, any sex. Pornography isn’t a multi-billion dollar industry because guys are concerned with adding some nebulous ‘meaning’ to sex. Women are concerned with applying meaning to sex because it is integral to their long term mating strategy and locking down a commitment of male provisioning. The men who claim to share in this importance (at least initially) are listening to the Beta Hamster and repeating what it says to them back to the women they hope to fuck. Even anonymously on a Reddit thread, they can’t let the pretense drop for fear that they’d miss a potential opportunity to prove themselves as ‘deep’ meaning oriented guys.

I have to laugh when men make these self-effacing claims to be seeking more ‘meaning’ after they tire of their long string of ONSs or ‘cheap sex’. Statistically, most men never even approach a lay count that could validate such a claim. According to the most recent studies I’ve read, most men have an average of 7 sexual partners over the course of a lifetime. That may be changing, but even if it were an average of 10 or 12 it would still make the rationale for seeking ‘meaningful’ sex as a result ridiculous, as well as suspect of a feminine-identifying mating strategy. Add to this that 80% (a conservative estimate) of men are plugged-in betas, hopelessly lacking the social skills and motivation to rack up a lay count that would ever justify this reasoning. So what is it that compels them to concoct these self-convincing rationalizations? The Beta Hamster.

It’s a far healthier mentality for men to embrace their own sexuality. God forbid a woman actually might think you find her sexy and want to fuck her. Despite their protestations, women want guys to want to fuck them. Women often complain that the reason they don’t feel sexual is due to their not feeling sexy, and they wont feel sexy if you approach sex from an asexual starting point because you think it adds ‘meaning’. Of the 40+ women I’ve had sex with, not one do I regret banging. I most definitely regretted some of the ensuing drama as a result of a few of those relationships, but I thoroughly enjoyed the sex. Sex for the sake of sex is OK. Trust me, after the one thousandth time you’ve had sex with your wife or LTR, sex for the sake of sex is fantastic. Stop writing poetry about sex and get fucking.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

25 comments on “The Beta Hamster

  1. 7 sexual partners, 40+ sexual partners. Hookers included?

    I keep a log with name, age, dates before fucking, use of condom and profession. But I don’t include hookers.

    Here in Brazil fucking a hooker is easy as eating at McDonald’s.

    1. How the easy access to prostitution can change social dynamics?

      I’m asking it because here, in Brazil, fucking a hooker is easy as eating at McDonald’s. A typical brazilian beta will fuck 100+ women (99% paying) in his life. It’s more than alpha average in most places.

      I guess that this easy access contributes to male betatization. If I can fuck easy like this, why am I going to bother investing energy and time on chasing girls?

      The 3rd bullet on male’s mate selection checklist would explain it?

    1. I can’t “unsee” that disgusting pablum… I thought it was a joke at first – kept waiting for them to get to the “punch line” that didn’t come – at least not in the minute or so that I actually watched… (A minute of my life that I will never get back I might add.)

      I truly think this is the first time I’ve ever seen such pathetic excuses for men – and I feel dirty that any man would stoop to such a disgusting display. I don’t apologize for loving women, nor do I apologize for acknowledging them as sexual beings who make my life easier in every way by being in it. I can truly say that a life without women would be bland and boring. But that doesn’t make them some “mythical” perfect creature – they are just as animalistic as I am – they enjoy a good roll in the hay as much as I do. And I for one, do not apologize for being a man that enjoys everything about them. (Just as they seem to enjoy everything about me and my animalistic nature – although they would never admit to it…)

      I may recognize that what they say and do seldom makes sense to a logical mind, but that is part of their charm. If they acted like “men” – even though they may like to think they do – I would find them much less fun and pleasant to be around.

      Thank heavens women don’t really like men like those disgusting excuses for manhood (true manginas), or mankind would be doomed…

      1. Right on. I only shared that video to show how low some men will go to abandon their masculinity and try to self-identify with women. It’s still clearly an attempt to ingratiate one’s self with the supposed “better angels” of the female sex.

        It does seem like a bad SNL sketch at first – I always expect Sting to turn up at some point.

  2. As usual, you’re on point, Rollo. I concur in every way–I meant to bang every woman I ever did.

    Regrets: I woke up once with a bad case of buyer’s remorse after a drunken hookup in college with a smokin’ hottie volleyball player. At that time, I was a complicated mix of natural alpha & acquired beta tendencies. I wish I had controlled that buyer’s remorse. because she was a tiger in bed, and by expressing remorse in front of her, she shut me out for future sex. I don’t regret having sex with her, I regret the regret.

    So we all agree, sex for sex’s sake is fantastic. But where in that do we find the emotional component? I still find emotionally connected sex better than non-connected.

    The old-school model of married men being able to take mistresses on the sly, that was a good model. Men can love, respect, and cherish his wife, still really enjoy sex with her, AND still want and enjoy some strange on the side. This is nature, and one way or another, men will find ways to fulfill that biological drive, or become damaged in the process of suppressing it.

  3. Gotta say that I loved Brazil – the women, both hookers and those oh so willing students, were all lovely specimens. Keep meaning to go back to explore more of the country (and the women) – Rio, Buzios, and San Paolo only give a flavor of the country. Of course, not speaking Portuguese was a hassle but I could “get by” with Spanish. I always wanted to see about setting up a branch-office there, but the laws make it tricky. (Have to admit part of the reason for looking into it was the idea of having the US Government subsidize my “fun-in-the-sun” just makes me smile.)

    Part of the problem that I see with the whole female mind-set is that it is self defeating to say you want one thing and respond and be attracted to almost the exact opposite. Of course, the PR aspects are beneficial, but it leads to unhappiness overall. So you end up with the beta-male wondering what he did wrong when according to everything that women “say” he is ideal, but the problem is they respond to the men that don’t play by those rules and the *only* way to keep a woman happy is for her to be constantly competing for your attention with other women throughout your relationship. Complacency is the death of intimacy…

    Look at Gene Simmons – he understood that early on, and kept Shannon Tweed working to look good for him, as well as sticking with him over the years by letting her know that he could have any of the young women he interacted with. But he came home to her – that let her feel victory and a sense of accomplishment. For anything to have value, you have to work for it – otherwise it is valueless. So for a woman to value the man she is with, she has to work to keep him interested and know that he is with her because she is better (at least for the moment) then those younger women who are responding to his flirting. He has to “want” to be with her, and have options of being with others. That is what the beta-male doesn’t understand – so he tells the woman he will always be there. You might as well tell her she should cheat on you because you aren’t worth her time.

      1. That’s too easy a response. AD is actually one of the few bloogers I’ve read who makes a very convincing case for prostitution being a legitimate alternative to Game. You should really read his essays on it.

        It’s easy to dismiss AD because generally speaking prostitution has been characterized as the last resort for desperate chumps, and maybe not without merit, but the real question is why it’s got the stigma in the first place and the latent purposes for society maintaining it.

        1. Yes. Anywhere in the world where sex is easily accessed via prostitution, the women I encounter there are friendlier, sexier, and more feminine than their Western counterparts. Hmmm, I wonder why….

  4. Hmm, well, I’m glad I accidentally came across this article (no pun intended), even though it’s currently keeping me away from my movie. Guess I’ll just have to type fast and finish before my buzz wears off. So, sure, there’s much I can agree with here in the article and the following comments, yet at the same time, I can’t quite help but feel that a fair amount of you fellows are, or have been for some time, sliding down the misogynist side of the slope. I understand that many of you are interested in, and appreciate women (or not?), or more importantly, what they give you (with most of that interest originating somewhere within that heavenly valley twixt their legs), yet how many of you actually Like them, let alone Love them?

    I. Love. Women. All of them, and everything (ok, pretty much) about them. The way they look, the way they smell, they way they laugh. The way they feel, the way they think (except when it drives me crazy) and they way they see the world. I love the way they walk, talk and suck my, well, so very many things.To me, they are a precious gift, and I treat them that way. I’m not saying I’m perfect or that I never make mistakes, because I sure as fuck have, and do. And, to my great shame and regret, I have hurt a whole lot of them. Almost never on purpose, but usually because I wasn’t able, or willing, to give them what they wanted, which was usually more, or all, of me. I must say I’ve gotten much better over the years at that though. Not hurting them I mean. You know the secret? Honesty. Really. You should try it some time. That and respect.

    I honestly believe that women are the 2.0 version of the human species. Let me be clear here though. I don’t necessarily think that most of them are better than Me (although many of them most assuredly are), I just think that most of them are much better than most of You. Not in every way mind you, but just in little ways, like, say, how to be a decent human being. Now, now, don’t get your panties in a bunch fellas, I’m sure you all have your good qualities, I’m just saying you’d very likely be much better at doing the thing you’re bragging at being so good at doing, doing it much more often (and likely with much better quality specimens), if you treated them better. If you treat them with respect, if you Love Them. Treat women as the divine and precious gifts that they are. SEE them that way, and they will see you seeing them that way, and, trust me, there will be benefits. Awesome ones. And sometimes the best way to treat a woman as an aspect of the divine is to treat her like “a dirty little sexpot”, because that is an aspect of the divine as well. Just make Very damn well sure that she Wants you to treat her that way, at that particular moment.
    If she doesn’t, don’t.

    If it’s not crystal clear already, I am indeed an Alpha. I know immediately when other Alphas are in, or come in a room, and they most definitely know when I’m there. I’m in my 40’s now and stopped keeping exact track of how many women I’ve had sex with a few years ago, but I still have a pretty good idea. So, my best guess is that it’s currently around 350. Ya, you heard me. And that’s just women I’ve had sex with. While I have had intercourse with most of the women I’ve been intimate with, there’s still a whole lot of them that didn’t happen with. I think about 5 of those 350 were professionals (hookers for the crass amongst you). Or, hmm, that number might be slightly higher than five if you count professionals that I didn’t pay for. I was an escort driver for a while. As far as I can recall, only one woman has paid me for it, several times; in cash anyway. In the past year, I’ve been with about 15 women, fooled around with a few more. About a year ago, I was in a threeway relationship with two beautiful, Wild, women, one of them 26, the other just turned 19. T’was grand, I tell you, until I fucked it up. At the moment, I’m in a steady, open, relationship with two women, one in her early thirties, the other in her early twenties. They both know about each other and are both beautiful and amazing, inside and out. Remember gentlemen, ‘open’ also means that they are ‘allowed’ to be, and are, involved with others as well, male or female, as they prefer. Something I’m completely cool with, as long as they are honest with me about it, and safe. I’m also dating a few others with whom I have various levels of intimacy. While I don’t announce to the world (like I am now) everything I’m doing, at the same time I don’t hide anything from any of them. So ya, life if pretty damn frickin’ good. Oh, and if you’re curious, I’m not famous, I’m not rich, and I’d say I’m probably an 8.5 on the attractive scale to most women. So how do I do it? Read on.

    Jordan’s damn right that women are sexual beings too, sexual animals even. But they’re not the same kind of sexual animals that we are. How often do we hear of women raping men? Exactly. Male sexuality, male energy in general, has more of an edge, is perhaps more primal, savage. Female sexuality, while it can certainly still leave bleeding scratch wounds down your back, is different; softer, gentler, more naturally deeper. I think the actual actions themselves pretty much say it all. We men stab, we thrust, we penetrate. Women take in, they enfold, they embrace.

    Of course yes, I am generalizing here, men and women can tap their sexuality into all of these energies, and more. Many of us do. As been established, there’s plenty of feminized men these days. And I have definitely met more than a few women who terrify me, and/or who I wouldn’t mess with, or fuck with, if you paid me.

    I consider myself something of an expert on women. For, besides the many I have made the beast with two backs with, I have been, and am, friends with many, many more. For my entire life, I have had far more female friends than male. Why? Mostly because I just like them better. While I still have hope for the male species, looking back on our history, on all we’ve done, that hope is sometimes hard to hold on to. The world would definitely be a different place if women ran it. Better? I can’t say. But it certainly couldn’t be worse. I mean, just look around at the state of the world today brothers. That’s Our doing. Almost all of it, that’s on Our shoulders. We’ve Got to do better. Way better. Anyway, I digress.

    Since I can hear the lame attempts at jabs and such already, I’ll forestall a few of them. I do like sports, although I usually couldn’t care less what team wins or loses. I am most definitely heterosexual, but I have no problem having gay friends, and have quite a few. I love beer and violent action and/or zombie movies just as much the next guy and I kick ass 9 times out of 10, or maybe 20 (my years working as nightcloub security don’t hurt). There, satisfied? I’m also a vegetation though, but I had to eat meat though, I’d make sure it was organic and free of pesticides, antibiotics and a whole load of other crap. Or I’d hunt and kill it myself, humanely and with deep respect and gratitude. I like dramas, documentaries, romances and cartoons.I do my best to be kind, compassionate, and considerate. I am enthralled by beautiful things.I detest violence against my fellow human beings, or any form of life. I’m very spiritual, and interested in health and well being, for everyone and everything, because, quite clearly, we are all one. I have cried a few times, but it doesn’t happen very often, even when it should. I love kids, adventure, cuddling, adrenaline, art and martial arts. I ask the woman to dance, I tell that hottie she has a beautiful smile, I go in for the kiss. I’m not afraid to say, do or be anything the hell I want to, or choose to, be. I don’t apologize for being who I am, although I do apologize when I make a mistake, or I simply need to. I work to be the best possible version of myself that I can be. And it takes as long as it takes.

    So, that’s how I feel, where I’ve been, and who I am. Take my words as you will, I honestly don’t give much of a crap. I say all this though on the chance that there may be a few men among you who get what I’m saying, and starting putting it into practice, thereby benefiting both themselves and my fellow sisters; and therefore the world.

    So if you’ve been listening boys (and girls?) it’s actually pretty easy. Two words. Like I said.



    I’m out.

  5. Wow at the post above. So THAT’S what a woman pretending to be a man sounds like.

    PS – I drove escorts for 2 years and you, ma’am, are no escort driver.

  6. Pingback: Blue Pill Frame |
  7. “Sex for the sake of sex is OK. Trust me, after the one thousandth time you’ve had sex with your wife or LTR, sex for the sake of sex is fantastic. Stop writing poetry about sex and get fucking.”

    Lol, this is true!

  8. why doubt the personal experiences of people? You don’t live in their mind or know their circumstances. Yes self reporting is unreliable, but this right here shows that if someone else is doing something differently and is happy about it, you will gas light them and tell them they are wrong and don’t understand their own mind, “your experience is not my experience so you are wrong”

Speak your mind

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