50 Shades of Emma

Sorry, but this was too good not to post today.

Back in February Aunt Giggles felt compeled to call me to the carpet for allegedly attacking poor little Emma Watson over this FaceBook, fem-popularized, meme.

In all honesty my intent with that post was to draw attention to a larger social convention, and Watson’s public declarations of ‘bringing sexy back’ that made androgynous, pixie-cut asexual women feel good about themselves was really just a convenient illustration. I mean, we all know what a horrible Man I am for revealing that it is in fact men who define what’s sexy about women, and questioning Emma’s sexiness and her commitment to “The Less you reveal the more people can wonder.”

Well, as curious as I am to report this, it appears that Emma has had a change of heart about her commitment to ‘revealing less’. You see Emma is actually more than comfortable with full frontal nudity now, so long as it’s in portraying Anastasia in the upcoming movie adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey.

“I’ve been saying since I was 16 that if it’s the right role and important for character development and the story, then of course I’ll do it,” the 22-year-old actress told Hello!

Ah! Such dedication to her craft, and she decided at 16 that she’d do it under the right circumstances. Run hamster, run! The celeb nude aficionados on 4 Chan are ready to welcome your craft with open arms. To think we’d live to see the day that it might no longer be necessary to clone Emmas face over the girls in bondage porn.

“It’s very exciting that people are starting to see me in a different way. It means that they’re allowing me the space to grow and develop and reincarnate myself.”

I wonder if that reincarnation will include growing out her hair to look sexier for the role? We can only hope. Then again, Emma’s not the only one with “dedication to her craft”, there are a lot of other starlets who’ve got more ‘sexy experience’ and are far readier to claw her eyes out to be sexually dominated:

Emma could also have some stiff competition when it comes to winning the honor of playing Anastasia Steele since many of the other fan favorites for the part have shown that they’re comfortable filming nude scenes. Kristen Stewart went topless in On the Road, and Emilia Clarke’s dragon queen character gets naked in almost every episode of Game of Thrones.

Emma Watson’s competition for the 50 Shades of Grey movie could also include Emmy Rossum, who has stripped down in Shameless. But perhaps Emily Browning should be the biggest favorite for the role of Anastasia Steele. The alluring actress was Stephenie Meyer’s top pick to play Bella in Twilight, but Emily never auditioned for the part. Instead the star of the family film Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events went on to shock her fans by starring in the 2011 movieSleeping Beauty, which is nothing like the Disney fairytale. The film actually feels a lot like 50 Shades since it’s about a bizarre sexual fetish, but instead of being tied up before having sex, Emily’s character is drugged so that she passes out. Needless to say, she was required to shoot a lot of nude scenes for her risqué role

,…and the God of Biomechanics laughed atop his throne of genitalia,…