Mister Softee

mr_softee

I have friend named Floyd. Floyd is in his early 50’s and spent the better part of his life in the military. He’s in fairly good shape for his age and has the rough, but stoic attitude of a soldier who’s seen actual combat. He doesn’t talk too much about those years, but he is an interesting guy and has a wealth of world-learned experiences that he’s more than ready to let you know about.

Floyd is not what I’d call a Type A personality, but he does have the pragmatic ‘get it done’ personality taught in the military, and he’s prone to being opinionated. At the risk of splitting hairs again, I’d definitely say he’s Alpha, but in a subdued, matter-of-fact, self-evident sense rather than the stereotypical in-your-face douchey Alpha caricature most beta chumps like to associate it with. Being a Man comes natural to him, and his expressions (or non-expressions) of such irritates the betas we know – but in a passive sense rather than an aggressive one. Just being who he is, often enough, gets eye rolls from our more plugged in friends.

Unfortunately Floyd’s Game-ignorant. After his discharge, he followed the ex-military formula for marriage by getting involved with a very domineering woMAN who promptly got ‘accidentally’ pregnant 12 years ago. They have a son whom they share custody of, the divorce not being final until last year. For all his Alpha cred, he followed the ‘do the right thing’ script right up until the finalization of his divorce. In the military, he was ostensibly a badass; with his ex he was always trying to find a solution to her problems with a rational ‘get the job done’ approach. He didn’t see the method behind her madness then, he does now.

Since the finalization Floyd has gotten together with a new girlfriend, Ann, who is the polar opposite of his ex. Against my advice he’s moved her into his home, but the bright side of this arrangement is that Floyd has learned the importance of maintaining Frame with her. Maintaining Frame with Ann isn’t too difficult for him as she’s about a point below Floyd in SMV. She’s not unattractive, but Ann loves Floyd because he takes care of business like the Alpha  her ex never was.

I was hanging out with Floyd last weekend and the conversation got around to how unlikely it was that Ann would get with a hard ass like Floyd. She say, “Oh that’s just his schtick, he’s really a big softee. Underneath all that he’s really a sweet guy.”

The Scripting

Now I realize these are the words of a 48 year old woman who’s vested interest and second chance at long term security are in my tough-guy friend, but it struck me that no matter how genuine a Man can be in his personality, no woman wants to accept a personality that is incongruent with her own imperative.

The main reason for this is rooted in women’s innate solipsism. If the reality doesn’t fit with her interpretation, rationalize the reality to force fit it to that interpretation. The nuts and bolts of it is that Floyd represents a valuable prospect at a second chance for provisioning. Floyd is not an overly emotional or emotionally available guy, but to reconcile the wish that he would be, Ann must tacitly endorse that he is; “you just don’t know him like I know him.”

A lot of freshly unplugged guys have trouble accepting Game as being anything more than an act – a series of behaviors meant to elicit a response in a woman, and once she’s been attracted they can go back to their regularly scheduled personality. They rely on rote memorization instead of learning and internalizing Game. What a lot more don’t understand is that even in their blue pill Beta Game days they also followed a similar ‘acting’.

This acting is encouraged in much the same way as Ann was attempting to distort her own reality. As with most women, they fall in love with a dichotomy; they want a sweet guy, who’s tough and gets shit done. If one of these aspects is out of balance her rationalization engine (i.e. Hamster) will make subconscious attempts to compensate for it in her words and beliefs. “I want a sweet guy with a good heart” is boilerplate for the feminine imperative because it ‘sounds right’. Men hear this and ‘act’ on it in the deductive belief that it will endear him to women in general.

The greater truth is that, for all the conflicting messages about men needing to get in touch with their feminine sides, and then men need to Man-Up, your personality is still going to be rationalized to fit a woman’s psychological ideal.

Upping the Alpha Doesn’t Mean Offing the Empathy

I think too many critics in the manosphere believe that the underlying message is about men needing to kill off the emotional, sentimental or impassioned aspects of their personalities. I would never advocate this. Firstly because I don’t think it’s entirely possible, but more importantly, you shouldn’t have to. No man should lessen himself or his human experience to accommodate the feminine imperative.

When I wrote Kill the Beta people assumed I meant that doing so would also include killing of the better parts of their  personalities. Beta is a mindset in the same way Alpha is. You can be an emotional Alpha, and women will swoon, but be an emotional Beta and you’re doomed to feminine pity. Emotions and passions only reinforce a self-defeating loop for a Beta mindset, but in careful, self-controlled measure they strengthen an Alpha mindset.

The problem is in the measure. Most Betas, raised from birth to believe that women want a “sweet man with a good heart”, build a personality around that message. Thus we have several generations of men trying to out “sweet” one another. In the end of The Game Neil Strauss worried that PUA practitioners would turn into “emotional robots”; men only aping the behaviors that have value in their getting laid and not genuinely emotional. I think his worries are unfounded, because most men of the last generations have such a foundation of ‘being in touch with their emotions’ the issue is more about the self-control necessary to maintain that emotionalism.

Upping the Alpha doesn’t mean offing the empathy. Game doesn’t mean learning sociopathy – it means learning control of one’s psychology. Most Betas find themselves miserable because they’ve been raised to believe that self-expression and open communication of emotions are the keys to successful living with women. It’s interesting that for all the understanding about how women are wired for emotion and men are wired for reason that it should be the men of the last generations who are more emotionally expressive than any preceding generation.

Guys like Floyd aren’t any less emotional or compassionate or sentimental, they simply know the value in controlling their more ephemeral aspects. They know when to apply it and when to withhold it. They know the reward value a rare display of emotion means to women who want to write their own script for the Man they’re in love with.

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Rollo Tomassi
Guest

In case anyone’s interested, I’ll be on this Reddit Q&A, Monday at noon eastern:

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/164e4o/mod_announcement_2013_ama_series_about_to_begin/

Anna
Guest
Anna

Many good points in this one. I’ve seen hordes of women who try and change how their boyfriends/husbands are, from the way they speak and dress to what they perceive as “fun” on a Saturday night. It’s even worse when I look at the men I know in the gaming community…sell your PS3 (only “boys” play videogames), get rid of your D&D stuff (nobody wants to date a nerd), stop going to conventions like Gencon/Origins (shouldn’t you want to be with your woman, instead of your friends). Honestly, I see these poor menfolk everyday at my gaming store…it’s enough to… Read more »

Stingray
Guest

They know the reward value a rare display of emotion means to women who want to write their own script for the Man they’re in love with. The reward is huge. A man like Floyd does not show his emotions to just anyone. Not many people, especially women, are going to get much more than a tiny glimpse of the “big softy”. Getting the reward of more than a glimpse makes a woman, somehow a special snowflake. We swoon for this . . . until the “big softy” overflows with emotion and then we lose interest. When a man doesn’t… Read more »

M3
Guest

“no woman wants to accept a personality that is incongruent with her own imperative. The main reason for this is rooted in women’s innate solipsism.” I assume this is also the same motif when a woman exclaims that the dude she’s with i really an awesome guy deep down, all the while you’re telling her that she didn’t just accidentally hit the wall with her face. I used to believe the hamsterization and verbalization of any variant of ‘he’s just a xxxxx, you’re just not around to see it’ was always a face saving/status protection mechanism. No girl wants to… Read more »

don julian
Guest
don julian

Floyd is not an overly emotional or emotionally available guy, but to reconcile the wish that he would be, Ann must tacitly endorse that he is; “you just don’t know him like I know him.”

brilliant, thanks for this, a lot of things make more sense now

taterearl
Guest

“They know the reward value a rare display of emotion means to women who want to write their own script for the Man they’re in love with.” And therein lies the difference…when a woman earns a man’s emotions they are of great value to her. If she gets them off the bat from a guy just because she happened to notice his existence…it means very little. Girls want displays of love from guys they respect. If there is one good thing about years of beta-ness is that I’ve had good practice to know what it is…but now I dispense it… Read more »

JS
Guest
JS

What we now call Frame was in previous centuries called honor. Men were very protective of their honor, knew the importance of maintaining it, and were always on guard against–and would not suffer–slights to it. Men knew not to challenge another man’s honor and could expect a violent reprisal if he did.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

What was really funny that I left out was Floyd’s response to “He’s really a sweet guy.”

Straight face deadpan and in all seriousness,

“No, I’m not.”

Erudite Knight
Guest

It is tragic seeing a alpha man broken. I had two good friends, one was a MMA fighter, and the other a playboy with a new girl every month, both dominate in getting girls. Then they each got a ‘dominate’ girl in the picture who promptly broke them down in servile betas. The girls are not hot, and are bitches.

I use their example of what not to do.

Team-Red
Guest
Team-Red

The best thing to do is to avoid women that are like that. There are tells very early on in the dating process you can pick up on if a woman is dominating, bossy, and should be avoided in getting involved with. Some guys like a woman that leads and it usually comes to bite them in the ass months or years later. My advice if you do get involved with a woman like this is to never give an inch, and maintain frame at all costs. Once there is a crack in the armor she will penetrate it and… Read more »

NeotheLeo
Guest
NeotheLeo

I agree with Team-Red. Is any woman worth constant “gaming”? I think not.

taterearl
Guest

I had to deal with a dominating, bossy woman with a weekend work trip a couple weeks ago. Even with all my frame, game knowledge, and staying dominate…I was wore out by the end of the weekend.

I can’t imagine having to do that day in and day out for years in a marriage.

greenlander
Guest
greenlander

dude, I can only say that you write an awesome blog.

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

thanks

pantyfx
Guest
pantyfx

Your story isn’t just women – it’s life.

People will call you whatever they need to justify your existence in their lives.

It’s then you’ll realize you can be _ANYBODY_.

Enjoyed it Rollo.

Sundance
Guest
Sundance

“The nuts and bolts of it is that Floyd represents a valuable prospect at a second chance for provisioning.” I’m suspect “provisioning” is a minor concern for many gals looking for mates these days. I believe this is why the bad-boy, douche with swagga is very much on the menu with chicks (sadly) even with many wel past prime gals. They don’t need or particularly desire a responsible breadwinner. Also most women have some sort of career supporting them by the time they are in their 30’s, yet they often still seek a stable relationship. They desire a monogamous relationship… Read more »

FuriousFerret
Guest
FuriousFerret

“Being a Man comes natural to him, and his expressions (or non-expressions) of such irritates the betas we know – but in a passive sense rather than an aggressive one. Just being who he is, often enough, gets eye rolls from our more plugged in friends.”

I believe this comes from having to stare into the mirror of their SWPL souls and having the instinctive knowledge that they are effeminate males which is replusive to our innate pyschology. They have to validate their SWPLness and are irritated by the other man ‘not playing by the rules’.

driversuz
Guest

Floyd sounds like a Wolf Alpha – hardness and softness in balance. Unfortunately this makes him a good target for predatory females.

SomeChick
Guest
SomeChick

“Upping the Alpha doesn’t mean offing the empathy. Game doesn’t mean learning sociopathy – it means learning control of one’s psychology.”

This.

3rd Millenium Men
Guest

“I think too many critics in the manosphere believe that the underlying message is about men needing to kill off the emotional, sentimental or impassioned aspects of their personalities. I would never advocate this.”

True Rollo. It’s first and foremost about maintaining control in the relationship, ensuring women look up to you. You can demonstrate those other attributes from time to time, so long as you continue to be in control.

The Shocker
Guest
The Shocker

You know, most of what constitutes an alpha isn’t how he relates with women, but how he stands in relation with other men. In fact, even looking at alpha as this intrinsic thing (while feel-good for the myopic crowd here) is very limited. Alpha is relational between men, whether it’s two friends or a group. The reason no single definition of alpha exists is that you can have a marginal alpha nerd amongst two nerds, or you could have a natural who exhibits the intrinsic qualities frequently discussed in case studies like these who is the ineluctable beta next to… Read more »

The Other Jim
Guest
The Other Jim

Anna wrote: “Which brings me to my question; What is the point of Game, if it makes you out to be someone different from who you are? Wouldn’t it be better to simply teach Beta men that they are fine people already, and that they only need more confidence and the ability to say “This is ME, take it or leave it, but I’m NOT changing!”?” I thought part of Game was negotiating Shit Tests from women properly? One of the finest compliments a man will ever receive is when his girlfriend shrugs in frustration and says something to the… Read more »

Not Carrie Bradshaw
Guest
Not Carrie Bradshaw

Interesting post. To me, game represents not just mimicking alpha traits but internalising them to the point of actually being alpha – not just to get women, but to succeed in life generally. I have come across this saying many times but it never gets old – get your own house in order and everything else would fall into place. There is nothing more off-putting to women (and everyone else for that matter) when a man tries to obtain the spoils or rewards of success when his “house” is falling apart around him. To me, alpha means exhibiting and internalising… Read more »

anotheronetakesthepill
Guest

m3: “so how far does the imperative go to blinding? how deep does the solipsism go?”

I think it’s connected to the tingles. Once they disappear (easier to achieve by a beta man) there comes the reality check

AlphaBeta
Guest
AlphaBeta

“Upping the Alpha doesn’t mean offing the empathy. Game doesn’t mean learning sociopathy – it means learning control of one’s psychology”

American women, of course, deserve the sociopath

Westcoaster
Guest
Westcoaster

A litte off-topic here, but wondering what Rollo thought of the Manti T’eo “online dead/fake girlfriend” hoax that has flooded the media. Toss the lying and cover-ups away, the one big question that only CBS sports radio has asked is, “Why does a big, testosterone, All-American football star at Notre Dame need an online girlfriend?” One radio jock went on to talk about the hoardes of beautiful women on campus and how men should not be tied down at this age let alone an All-American football player. He was not afraid to say this last night, he went off, it… Read more »

Emma the Emo
Guest

Hmm, I always wondered why women who date, for example, violent men, often say “he’s nice, really” or some version of that. It really does look like wishful talking. Or a way to protect the guy from white knights who can start to white knight the abused woman.

ylam
Guest
ylam

Shocker, why did you destroy AB Dada?

Martel
Guest

@Emma: It probably has to do with solipsistic selective memory. First, she likes Alpha, and the capacity for violence demonstrates that as much as anything. Second, take the frame of Rollo’s post here, the she wants to think her guy is a sweetheart, that she could only love a guy with all those soft, endearing traits. Third, there probably was one time in early 2010 when the violent dude he looked deep into her eyes and said, “You’re so beautiful. I’m so lucky I found you.” The Hamster now has his energy-pellet, and it’s enough to keep that wheel spinning… Read more »

L.V.X.
Guest

Fact remains: the easiest job in the world is to have a vagina in America.

Ace Haley
Guest

I know this is off-topic and maybe even disappointing to hear but Tiger Woods…The guy’s trying to convince his ex-wife to marry him again. This after she chased him around with a golf club, smashed his windscreen, thereby making him lose balance, and then took away a hefty sum from him to exact revenge.

This is a man at the top of his profession. Hell, he IS his profession. He can have any woman he wants (even after the divorce) yet this is the behavior he resorts to. I personally don’t know what to make of that

Ace Haley
Guest

@LVX: Damn straight. On a different matter but kinda related, having a penis is harder than a lot of people think, no pun intended. It’s like having 2 completely different people sharing the same body. One wants to be rational but the other just wants to go in whenever. You have to calm it down or it’ll have you doing some crazy shit. It doesn’t care about paying 18+ years for child support even if that’s not the most beneficial thing to the man. It doesn’t care if it ruins a man’s life. It keeps a man in the game… Read more »

BC
Guest
BC

Shocker, why did you destroy AB Dada?

Because shocker and his ilk have delusions of SocialKenny?

L.V.X.
Guest

Haha yeah and as my father’s best friend Mike wrote in his yearbook their senior year: “Remember, only one head’s meant for thinking”. I was around 12 years old when I read that; my father said it would make sense when I was older. Problem is, our penile hamsters may be as strong as the womynz vulva’s wheels rotary. However, we rationalize what’s bad for us – like shitty relationships, bitchy women, emotional abuse, self-destruction for the sake of love, etc… They just tend to rationalize what benefits them – like shitty relationships, bitchy men, emotional abuse, provoking self-destructive behavior… Read more »

Anna
Guest
Anna

@L.V.X.

It just means that we both need to be aware and cognizant of the power our clitoral/penile heads have over our more logic driven ones. Once this is acknowledged, men and women alike can make more rational (albeit less pleasurable) decisions about their sexuality.

HUMAN
Guest
HUMAN

But we all are aware of that. And the lack of pleasure assumed by accepting such a stance would make Caligula or Ilāh hag-Gaba donate their testes to a Christian laymen. I guess, what I mean, is that this is all just common knowledge, experienced daily, and I don’t see anyone or anything – Game, PUA, MGTOW, etc…- capable of doing anything beyond describing the phenomena they observe. And only those who are happy with themselves and have a life built up for them (by all appearances) are to be the Voices that are heard. Anyways, we all are evolved… Read more »

gregg
Guest
gregg

I have written this several times but I have to repeat it. Sense of manhood is so pathetically linked (BY DESIGN) to pussy that all this manosphere knowledge has (in the real world) limited room to operate. Unless men can define themselves by values outside vagina, they reamin slaves. Despite all the informations, men are moving about the floor in semi comatose state and crawling into vagina. Most men are (by design) able of becoming total slaves to women no matter how many informations they have. This endless writing about “how to be ..ehm .. alpha (aka SLAVE), how to… Read more »

Anna
Guest
Anna

@Human I would say the only authority on what pleasure seeking is acceptable/detrimental is yourself. Obviously if your pleasure seeking becomes THE source of all motivation in your life, that is a sign of addiction…other than that, if you aren’t harming yourself/others, you need to pay good attention to your wants/needs and satisfy them as best you can at the time. (I’m talking about only sexual pleasure seeking here…I realize pleasure can be had from helping others/completing a challenge/etc.) @Gregg That’s what I’ve heard from some of my more open customers. It’s one thing to LEARN game…another thing entirely to… Read more »

xsplat
Guest

American women, of course, deserve the sociopath To which Bronan25 at http://bronanthebarbarian.com/2012/11/08/fly-fresh-and-barbaric-presents-manospambots/ would reply that we’ve come across a particular type of spambot. The: AmericanGirlsSuckBot While there is a general agreement that gender relations are kind of fucked up in America and that there a lot of women acting like slobs around here, AmericanGirlsSuckBot takes that shit to a whole ‘nother level. Everything that is wrong with this country can be laid at the feet of women. Every American chick is fat, every American chick is a ballbusting cunt, and every American girl dresses like a dude. When one rejects… Read more »

taterearl
Guest

“Given this, women would panic and DO WHAT is necessary to have men – their slaves (resources, security, etc) back. If it means to be “nice and feminine” they will do that.”

Start by getting them all off hormonal birth control. Those things turn women into the monsters we see today.

Anna
Guest
Anna

@Taterearl That probably wouldn’t do very much, unfortunately. While there are side effects with hormonal based birth control (which includes the patch, ring, pill and shot), the majority of side effects are not mood related. In users who experience side effects, they most often report the following; -headaches -nausea -dizziness -loss of appetite -mild mood swings -spotting -increased or decreased libido -mild cramping -breast tenderness Most users also report that these side effects either greatly decrease and/or vanish after the 3rd-5th month of using the same type of birth control. Changing type or dosage seems to exasperate the problems in… Read more »

taterearl
Guest

“That probably wouldn’t do very much, unfortunately. While there are side effects with hormonal based birth control (which includes the patch, ring, pill and shot), the majority of side effects are not mood related.”

Really…you are telling me affecting a woman’s hormones chemically won’t affect her mood. Because a woman’s natural state is that her mood is affected by hormones.

Anna
Guest
Anna

@Taterearl What? No…did you read everything I wrote? I just said that the MAJORITY of side effects are not mood related. If you read my list above, there are 9 common side effects…only 1 is mood related (mild mood swings). Our hormones control a heck of a lot more than just a man or woman’s mood, lol. Besides a man’s androcycle occurs quite a few times a day, a woman’s menstrual cycle only occurs for 3-6 days out of a month. (Unless she has PMS, which is a very unfortunate condition.) As someone who took the Pill for 3 months… Read more »

Anna
Guest
Anna

@Taterearl

Here’s a really nice picture of all the glands that are responsible for the creation of hormones in the human body. As you can see, there are many different ones. Some regulate mood, yes…but others regulate puberty, metabolism, circadian rhythms, menopause/andropause, flight or fight response, etc.

Can you tell I loved biology in school? Lol

http://www.pharmacy-and-drugs.com/illnessessimages/hormones.gif

FuriousFerret
Guest
FuriousFerret

“@Taterearl
What? No…did you read everything I wrote?
I just said that the MAJORITY of side effects are not mood related.

LOL.

Taterearl, did you not listen? Geez, when princess says something you’re not supposed to question. She said that the pill doesn’t do it so that must be what the truth is. Pay attention next time man.

LOL.

BA
Guest
BA

Totally OT, the photo makes that David Lee Roth song about the Ice Cream Man, begin playing in my head.

I’m your ice cream man, stop me when I’m passin by……

JS
Guest
JS

Anna wrote: “Which brings me to my question; What is the point of Game, if it makes you out to be someone different from who you are?” Seems to me that there are 3 levels here. There are ones values: your sense of right and wrong. This will not attract or repulse women so you can keep them as you are. Then there is your personality: your tastes, your likes and dislikes, your hobbies. This won’t attract or repulse women either, so you don’t have to change this. In fact, often if she likes you she will come to adopt… Read more »

Anna
Guest
Anna

@FuriousFerret Very funny. “Princess”? Yeah, right! Wouldn’t be caught dead with that sort of mindset. Taterearl pointed out that I said the MAJORITY of side effects from using hormonal birth control are not mood related…and made it sound like I said NONE of them are, when in fact I did include it. I was simply wondering if he had read my entire comment, or if he’d stopped at the 1st of my 6 paragraphs. That is all. I’m not trying to be confrontational, but if he DIDN’T read anything past the initial paragraph I could easily see where he would… Read more »

Anna
Guest
Anna

@JS

Thank you for your answer, it was quite helpful.
However, I’m unsure of why you think that morals and personality are not attractors/repulsors. I realize I’m not of a feminine mindset, but surely this isn’t always the case…

If you’ve the time, can you expand on this a bit more?

taterearl
Guest

I don’t much care about the bodily side effects of birth control. They are bad enough that I don’t know what woman would want that poison in their body…my point was to say the mood and hormonal changes are the worst part side effect of birth control. They change you completely.

They change your view on what men you find attractive. Most notably…the guys that act more beta you are more attracted to on that stuff. The minute you get off the pill you are more attracted to alphas.

Anna
Guest
Anna

@Taterearl It’s not “poison”, it’s birth control for about 42% of users, and medicine (or a combination thereof) for the other 58%. Some unfortunate women would have very poor quality of life without these products. Be that as it may, I’ve not come across any studies that show differences in attraction values while on hormonal “birth control” products. As I said, I personally only experienced increased libido and breast tenderness while taking them for 3 months, and I only did it as a experiment to see what (if any) changes I’d notice. I was in the 4th year of my… Read more »

YaReally
Guest
YaReally

“your personality is still going to be rationalized to fit a woman’s psychological ideal.” There’s an old PUA saying that goes something like: “Before a woman has sex with you, she’ll look for any reason NOT to. After she’s had sex with you, she’ll look for any reason to justify having sex with you.” It’s 100% true and it’s why it’s VERY easy to go from fuckbuddy to girlfriend…because she’s looking FOR shit that would justify her being with you so you just throw her a few pebbles of boyfriendy behavior and her hamster goes “yes!!! I knew he wasn’t… Read more »

Anna
Guest
Anna

@YaReally

Ewww. That’s rather pathetic.
I think that if you need to pull reasons/justifications out of your ass every time you sleep with someone, well…maybe you’re not mature enough to be having sex.

Sex is great. I love having sex. It can be an intimate bonding experience, a casual way to get rid of frustrations, a chance to engage in power exchange, or a playful bit of fun between mates. If you constantly need to rationalize it before and/or after…I’d say you are doing it wrong.

But that’s just me.

ImmoralGables
Guest
ImmoralGables

@Anna

Wow thank you so much for your insightful comment! You add way more value here than YaReally ever would and after reading your comment, I am now totally convinced that not all women are like that.

Sincerely,

No One

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

@Anna, wasn’t sure if you’d noticed these links I attached to your first post but, these will help you understand the Just Be Yourself social convention:

Just Be Yourself

The Ballad of Clark Kent

Anna
Guest
Anna

Okay…?
I’m not sure what prompted such high levels of sarcasm, but whatever. Have a pleasant day.

P.S.- I sincerely doubt I could add more value to a conversation than YaReally. For one thing, he probably comments a lot more. For another, he likely deals with womenfolk a hell of a lot more than I do, and thus can see (or be the recipient of) more bullshit than myself.
I still stick by my opinion that anyone who acts that way is an immature moron.

Anna
Guest
Anna

@Rollo No, I didn’t see them before. Thank you for reposting…both of them were very interesting. I agree with your JBY post to an extent. For example, my lover recently wanted me to lose some weight and dress feminine every once in a while. So, I’ve gone from being 172 lbs in December to being 162 now (and will hopefully be my goal weight of 155 by February.) I also got a new haircut, and asked my girly sisters to teach me how to wear more makeup. In return, I asked him to also lose some weight, and to go… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

It’s just a working title.

Anna
Guest
Anna

@Rollo

And I’m positive it does the book justice. If it’s available for the iPad or Kindle, I’ll have to buy it later.
Have a good rest of your day, sir.

itsme
Guest
itsme

yes, let’s keep feeding the trolls…

itsme
Guest
itsme

Some unfortunate women would have very poor quality of life without these products.

true, some women do need birth control for medical reasons, but you’re forgetting a larger even more important female demographic that would suffer tragically without birth control: sluts.

Martel
Guest

Never mind the “analysis” that follows. I’m pretty happy for this kid. Hope she follows through.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/if-this-boy-gets-1m-facebook-likes-his-crush-will-sleep-with-him/

Martel
Guest

Actually, the chick “logic” in the analysis is pretty funny.

“Doesn’t he value her friendship?”

No.

Anna
Guest
Anna

@itsme

I hardly consider them an “important demographic”. I’m no prude, but I find it extremely distasteful when people have such casual sex. It takes a wonderful, potentially sacred activity and turns it into just another thing to give away.

There’s a difference between being “sexually liberated” and just being an alley whore. Not that I find anything wrong with actual prostitutes…at least they’re honest.

Tilikum
Guest

For me, controlling the psychology meant cutting out alcohol completely.

Exponentially tighter game.

D-Man
Guest
D-Man

“I think that we should be concentrating on creating a male-oriented “pill” instead, which should help lead to a more equitable sexual marketplace.” Give men control over their sex hormone (testosterone)? Hah. We vilify them for that. We call them freaks, or “cheaters”. Look at Lance right now. One of my main takeaways from the affair: here’s a guy with one testicle and cancer, he goes on a well-managed drug plan, and he wins seven Tour de France titles…. Now, he’s an exceptional individual, and our culture is still mired in figuring out what “fairness” means in sports, but…. Why… Read more »

Anna
Guest
Anna

@D-Man Interesting stuff. You are correct, I was talking about the male contraceptive pill…but you bring up some good points about the use of sex hormones in sports/competitions. I’ll admit that I don’t know much about this side of it. Seems I will have to familiarize myself with this. If I may, why do you not think many men would use such a pill? Sure, it still won’t protect against STDs but it is a better way to avoid pregnancy than pulling out (doesn’t work all the time due to precum), and if you’re sure of her fidelity you won’t… Read more »

Cream
Guest
Cream

Rollo, you’re the Hari Seldon of the modern world. Leave capsules programmed to open 50, 100 and 500 years from now with your instructions for manhood on how to proceed. (Comment based on Foundation by Issac Asimov)

Rollo Tomassi
Guest

@Anna, From Fem-Centrism: Sexual Revolution I got into a hypothetical debate with an online friend as to what it would mean to humanity (and masculinity in particular) if a new method of birth control was developed with the specific and unique ability to allow men to control conception to the same degree women were given with hormonal contraception in the mid-sixties. I thought it interesting that human effort could create reliable contraception for women in the 60′s, yet in 2011 we can map the human genome and yet not figure out how to afford men the same degree of birth… Read more »

BC
Guest
BC

Clarke’s Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Red pill blog paraphrase: Any sufficiently solipsistic female commenter is indistinguishable from a troll.

I love comment threads that let you laugh while reading.

Anna
Guest
Anna

@Rollo

Quite a bit of sexism you’ve got in that excerpt there.
If one half of the population can be given control over their bodies and be able to plan exactly when it is time to have children, I see little REAL reason why the other half should be denied it. On the contrary, I see laws being enacted in the US and the UK that would make me fight for this ability, were I born a man.

Fem-Centrism, huh? Yet another thing for me to read, it would seem. I thank you for sharing it.

Rooster
Guest
Rooster

“We vilify them for that. We call them freaks, or “cheaters”. Look at Lance right now. One of my main takeaways from the affair: here’s a guy with one testicle and cancer, he goes on a well-managed drug plan, and he wins seven Tour de France titles….” Are you f***ing kidding me?!!!! Please don’t use that sociopath bully to prop up your unscientific chest-beating. This guy ruined lives and oppressed people who were just telling the truth under oath. Have you even been keeping up with people like Betsy Andreu and her husband? Seriously dude, pick your f***ing heroes wisely.… Read more »

xsplat
Guest

Testosterone (in both sexes) goes UP when you win a contest and when you’re socially dominant. It goes down when you lose, and when you feel shamed. That’s right. As a man, your test levels are directly correlated with your sense of PRIDE. Ya, it’s interesting to take that fact up against a womans behavior in a club when she snubs you. Aparrently some girls act on an innate programming to try to lower your testosterone. Women deliberately create the beta class of men, as if their sexual strategy for provisioning depended on such a class, and therefore when not… Read more »

D-Man
Guest
D-Man

Haha, easy there Rooster, I’m not trying to defend the guy. Check your projector, looks like there’s a smudge on the lens…

My point is: our culture is nowhere near greenlighting men, in the prime of their lives, to take control of their sex hormones, and thus the direction of their lives, artificially. But we have done so for women, and there are social consequences.

Rob
Guest
Rob

“…know when to apply it and when to withhold it”, isn’t that a Kenny Rogers song 🙂

Rob
Guest
Rob

“…Seriously dude, pick your f***ing heroes wisely. The lying prick indulged in EPO (hyper-oxygenating blood)” – not to get too involved in this whole Lance Armstrong one nut debate but I always smile when I read someone complain about Lance Armstrong using PED’s to win the Tour de France. No one ever seems to notice if the 2nd place winner in the TDF is also using performance enhancing drugs, or 3rd place winner, or 4th, 5th, 57th, etc. Please stop complaining about athletes using performance enhancing drugs to win competitions, if you enjoy watching football, baseball, hockey, soccer, basketball and… Read more »

patrick
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patrick

Totally OT: Rollo, you’re a psychologist. I study psych and girls often ask me what I study so I tell them. I usually get a response like “then you can analyze me?” and I don’t know how to proceed from there. Seems like an extremely good opportunity to get into more personal stuff but I totally black out every time I hear something like this.

Solomon
Guest

could it be that her “sweet guy” accusations are conclusions she came to not because he oozes gooey mashmellow poetry when you are not around, but maybe she calls him ‘sweet’ just because he is self-controlled well enough to not say and do the harsh and cruel stuff she is used to, but instead bites his tongue out of practicality for the result he wishes (prospering them both)

Adam
Guest
Adam

Girl: “can you analyze me?”

Me: “Hell yeah, I love anal.”

You’re welcome.

Adam
Guest
Adam

Somehow related: http://ghilliemor.com/staff.php

The boss’ wife is described as “The Real Boss”. She also “still finds time to keep David (who’s the fucking boss!) and the others organised”.

The guy is a former policeman and worked in the intelligence. True alpha.

Sir Alan
Guest

http://i41.tinypic.com/mh6ayv.gif Great post, Rollo. One of the pitfalls where many new guys to Game lose themselves is in trying to be a stereotypical Alpha. A lot of guys usually overdo it and wonder why its not getting them laid, then they proceed to say that it’s a bunch of bullshit because it didn’t get them laid. Well, duh. Most people don’t want a one-dimensional cartoon character as a mate. Most of the girls I’ve slept with wanted to sleep with me not only because of physical attraction but because I managed to assert and maintain a realistic alpha frame while… Read more »

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[…] to be an alpha male in order to attract and maintain women. Rollo Tomassi over at the Rational Male eloquently illustrated this point. Because these men lack experience that comes from being indulged in a red pill perspective, they […]

Eric
Guest

Rollo, Military men ought to be a targeted audience for your red-pill teachings. As an Army veteran, I can attest that being socialized as a soldier is to learn positive masculinity in terms of a man among men. While not immune from political correctness, there is a stand-off distance from civilian society that preserves within the military perhaps our last best repository of traditional masculine values and culture. Before I joined the Army, the military seemed alien and threatening. What I found, instead, is the nature of soldiering just made sense to me on a basic level as a man… Read more »

Anna
Guest
Anna

@Eric This is very true. The teaching of these core values in our military makes for soldiers/citizens who understand how people should act towards each other. I’ve personally seen what you speak of with numerous members of my extended family…my Grandfather and Uncle (Army), my Aunt (Air Force), and most recently my younger brother (Marines). Each one of them changed what they thought was attractive in a mate, and when they returned to civilian life, found spouses who upheld the values the military taught them (though to hear them tell it, this was quite difficult). Even my brother, who only… Read more »

AnonWriter
Guest
AnonWriter

When soldiers apply the 7 Army values (loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, personal courage) to women, they simply don’t receive the same positive feedback they get from applying the Army values on the job among soldiers. This is because what really matters most to women is how a man makes her feel. Its been called ‘female solipsism’ in many places, and maybe it is, but the point is that women put much more emphasis on their own feelings than men do. Most men can’t relate to this because they project their own male values onto women, and then… Read more »

Martel
Guest

@Eric/Anna Your military experiences differ heavily from mine. I know I wasn’t in the world’s best MOS, but I found that PC had taken over damn near every aspect of every unit I was in. The Army Values were drilled into us as theory and a list to be memorized but not practiced with much consistency. However, you are correct in your assessment that military males would be a great target audience for this stuff. It’s still better than society at large and males who enlist would undoubtedly be more receptive than those on a college campus. Also, it might… Read more »

Eric
Guest

Martel, First, I’m rooting for the success of your red-pill mission. Believe me, as with any soldier or former soldier, I can gripe about the Army, too. Bitching is a soldier’s god-given right, time immemorial. Nonetheless, the red-pill movement is looking to make the leap and germinate somewhere. I can’t think of a better suited real-world laboratory for the red pill in our society than the military community. A comment I made a few weeks ago at Ian Ironwood’s blog: In early stages with short reach and low resources, it would be productive to target parts of American society that… Read more »

Seraph
Guest
Seraph

“his endless writing about “how to be ..ehm .. alpha (aka SLAVE), how to monkey – dance to get laid, what to do to be worthy of pussy, etc.” actually proves one thing – men are deprived of their peace of mind unless they have their manhood CONFIRMED by women. Unless men find a way to be emotionally stable and happy without women, there is no chance of changing anything except of using FEAR and government power to deprive women af all their rights so that women NEED men to survive and pathetic slaves – aka men have their confirmation.”… Read more »

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[…] so well by their very nature! Then they rationalize it away by telling everyone within earshot “Oh you don’t know him like i do, he’s a big ol’ softy”. Sure he is toots. Sure he is. The entire feminist belief system that a majority of men are shallow […]

rugby11ljh
Guest
rugby11ljh

“No man should lessen himself or his human experience to accommodate the feminine imperative.”
Gosh what a breath of fresh air.