Size Matters

I generally don’t go where I’m going with this post today, but one consistent theme of my writing has always been about exposing the latent functions of social conventions. Although I do try to be fair and spread out the analysis between men and women’s specific social conventions, living in the age of feminization usually brings the focus back to the feminine imperative where it originates.

To look under the hood of a social convention – to see how and why it works – often involves asking some uncomfortable questions. Social discomfort is actually an integral part of any effective social convention. Discouraging questions about the latent purpose of a social convention by means of fostering impropriety about it, or putting the questioner in the place of social awkwardness, is how social conventions perpetuate and normalize into a culture.

So when you pose the question “why is it considered rude to ask a woman about her age or her weight?” the ‘common sense’ answer is that it just is, because not knowing so makes the questioner look like look like a fool for not knowing it just is.The real answer of course is rooted in competition anxiety, because a majority of women can’t afford to have their sexual market value qualitatively compared in such overt measures. However, this is how a social convention becomes normalized and promoted to the realm of ‘common sense’.

So, if you will, please indulge me while I look under another hood that may not be the most comfortable place to go.

Mark Minter, a regular RM contributor dropped an excellent introduction for today’s topic in last week’s Amused Mastery post:

My niece has a cute friend, a 20 year old HB7 who thinks that she is an 8 and is grooming herself to be a “trophy wife”. I think she is gonna be disappointed. But she is very status and money motivated in her choice of men. But anyway, the last I had heard from this girl was that she had met this “Ideal boy” who had a winning smile (I had met the guy) and his family owned a restaurant.

A couple of months later, my niece mentions that some other guy was trying to hit on this girl last night. I asked “So what happened to whats-his-face”.

She answered, “He turned out to be a creep. He was very possessive and controlling. Constantly texting her at work, knowing she couldn’t get texts at work.”

SOOOO. The Rollo Tomassi voice in the back of my head says “BULLSHIT. There is more to this than that”.

I asked, “What was she doing to make this guy insecure and also when women have GENUINE DESIRE for a man, his texts don’t bother her, even if she is at work. It’s text and no one knows except for her. So why was she backing away. She was COVERTLY COMMUNICATING her disinterest through her actions.”

There were a couple of other “things” the guy had done with once again, things that if the woman had GENUINE DESIRE, they would not have been “firing offenses”. But I sensed she was looking for a reason to pull away from the guy. So I kept pressing. I had thought maybe he had failed some shit tests or something, had kissed ass a little too much on a 20 year old cute girl. It was far more basic than this and certainly warranted this girl creating a cover story for dumping the guy

So it turns out the guy has about a 3 or 4 inch dick but little Miss Trophy Wife couldn’t broadcast to the world that she would actually dump a guy because he had a little dick. She couldn’t admit that the size of a dick was important to her like it was to “those other sluts”. No, he had to be controlling or possessive or something from femcentrically acceptable than having a little dick.

So the rationalization hamster cooked up this other less slutty behavior from the guy to justify dumping him.

The funny thing is that even though all the girls in the circle knew the dude has the tiny dick, the publicly repeated excuse from all the hens in the coop was “controlling creep”.

Tools

I can remember reading a section of the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts where the authors cited studies about the relative importance the size of a man’s penis had for women. The long and short of it (uh,.heh) was that the women surveyed reported a “general satisfaction with the size of their partners penises”, and then went on to make the case that it is in fact men who are more concerned with the size of their cocks than women are.

Something just didn’t sit right with me after I’d read through this. From a porn-search specific statistical analysis it would follow that since men are the primary consumers of pornography that men would have more interest in the various details of the sex act, thus a preoccupation with the size of their own tool, but this doesn’t exclude the ‘interest’ women have in penis size. I could go into the Red Queen / Selfish Gene details about how women would evolutionarily prefer a larger cock to a smaller one (virility, sexual prowess, sexy son theory, etc.), but that wouldn’t cover the social convention aspect of women’s handling of this issue (sorry, you can’t write about this topic without a bad pun every other line).

I can remember a discussion in a mixed gender group of friends I had when I was in my early 20’s. Whenever the topic of sex came up (which was often) there was always a careful, almost tacit acknowledgement among the women to hold back a bit when it came to revealing their wants when it came to the particulars about sex. I’m using this as an illustration because it’s been my experience that  the woman you talk to about sex in the company of men and women is not the same woman who talks about sex amongst only women. When questions about the size of a guy’s cock came up (sorry), the timeless classic trope is almost always sure to follow “oh it’s not that important, size doesn’t matter, it’s not size of the ship, it’s the motion of the ocean” or “it’s not the length of the wand, it’s the skill of the magician” or some other cutesy aphorism with the latent purpose of moving beyond that particular detail in the conversation. Even sufficiently feminized men will parrot this same fem-speak unprompted to reassure themselves (does AskMen even employ male writers anymore?).

Discreet Requisites

You see, publicly, as Mark’s story illustrates, it is counter productive for a woman’s long term provisional interests to be compromised by qualifying a potential provider (see Beta chump) by his sexual prowess. Based on sight and imagination (pre-sex conditions) there’s no more graphic an indicator of this prowess than a guy’s length. Certainly height, muscularity and all of the feral, instinctual level physical cues play a part of the total package, but women know that not only do they measure a man’s virility in this regard, but they also know men do as well.

I had wanted to illustrate this dynamic further by making the presumption that women, generally, would either be offended by the very topic, or at the very least be coy about their denying that ‘size matters’, but I can’t go there. As the sex-positive aggressiveness of feminization has taken hold of western culture for the past 60+ years, there has been a gradual decay of this sense of prudence, replaced by the new utility of using men’s insecurities about size as leverage in optimizing feminine hypergamy.

Just in recent memory I’ve had ‘pour girls’ mention to me privately and to other girls that they wanted to leave a boyfriend, or they wouldn’t consider a second sexual encounter with a guy who ‘wasn’t packing’. Furthermore, as women have less and less to lose in their post-Wall SMP reality, mature women (the Cougar generation) place more emphasis on their partner’s equipment. It has coincided with the socio-economic End of Men and the Rise of Women that feminine hypergamy become less and less secretive. Gone are the days when women needed to use subterfuge to keep a less than adequate man enthralled in order to secure his provisioning. So it follows that the truth about the details of that visceral hypergamy be relaxed to the point that women no longer feel the need to cover it up. There may be a token effort in a public context to misdirect the importance of size (Mark’s example), but privately, women know size is important.

Consider the ‘thesis’ power point presentation of Karen Owen’s retrospective sexual safari at Duke University. We can debate the relative criteria upon which she rates each sexual encounter in her thesis, but I would draw your attention to the importance she places upon the penis size of each of her ‘study subjects’ as an indicator of quality (or lack thereof). As most Game-aware men (and women) ought to know already, the Medium is the Message and it’s women’s behavior, not their words that should be used as the only reliable basis for determining inent or motivation. According to the research of the authors of A Billion Wicked Thoughts and the respondents in their cited studies, penis size should be irrelevant to women, if it’s considered at all. Yet here we have a woman quantifying and qualifying sexual merit using length as a factor in sexual satisfaction.

You could make the argument that this is an isolated case, and only sluts worry about your girth, or you might think ‘women say one thing and mean another, well duh Rollo’, but you have to understand the utility, and the latent purpose behind those presumptions. Whenever a guy is slapped with the default ‘bitter misogynist’ label, the follow up line is almost universally “yeah, and I bet he’s got a little dick too.” Even guys will use the “he’s compensating for something” line as a sexual disqualifier when presented with an overt demonstration of higher sexual value from another guy. He’s got a $75K car? Must have a little dick then. If penis size wasn’t a consideration for women in their optimal hypergamy it wouldn’t be the go-to, schoolyard taunt it’s become. Ridicule a man’s penis and you disqualify him as sexual competitor. It’s interesting that men will acknowledged height as a physical prerequisite for most women, but will readily reject the size of his tool as being one as well.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Solo
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http://sjones84.blogspot.com/2010/08/lr-solo-gets-2-4-1.html

It’s good to be black….Just saying

wink

muscleman
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It’s always mattered and always will. We’re fortunate enough to live in a time when women are allowed to be more open and forthcoming with their thoughts, as it just confirms the gut feeling. Another fortunate thing is that you can increase the length of your penis, permanently, through years of deliberate exercises. There are books, videos, sites, and forums dedicated specifically to this. Just like building muscles, it takes time and there are no real shortcuts (at least not without repercussions), but the payoff is well worth the effort.

HeligKo
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You know why it matters, because most women have been on the carousel. If there is little to nothing to compare to, then it really doesn’t matter. The fact of life is that in this day and age, it matters. You either have to have the tool or have something about you that compensates for lack of fullness during sex sufficiently to keep her interested.

Nick
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I see this as a manifestation of female hypergamy. I doubt that this guy’s size was the only factor in the breakup though. From the sound of it this 20-year old is even more focused on status and money than her peers. Assuming she has the feminized mindset she probably believes she has a good 10-15 years to find the absolute best “trophy husband” to cater to her whims. If the size issue was the only problem, it just shows the extremes that feminization has gone to, convincing women that they really can “have it all” and that any deficiency… Read more »

HeligKo
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@Nick, yes any deficiency in the woman’s eyes gets a guy nexted. They believe they will find the perfect guy if they are patient and ride long enough. They will be sorely disappointed when they find out the guy they wanted is long gone, and the ones left leave a sour taste in her mouth. She will either be single forever, and may or may not get off the carousel, or she will settle in to one of the chumps who still pay attention and make his life miserable, because the guy with the small cock could have provided for… Read more »

feminizedwesternmale
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Solo said, “It’s good to be black….Just saying.”

Yeah, when flaccid, but when turgid (which is what really matters), white is king!

FFY
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Yeah this one of those things where it’s like sorry bro, yeah women lika da big cocka.

Knew a dude in college who had a god damn horse-cock and good enough game to get bangs. He never “lost” a girl. Maybe he’d stop seeing a girl, or she would back off since he wasn’t going to date her, but he could *always* go back to the well with these chicks six, seven months later because they craved his business.

I know at least two times he got laid based on word of mouth alone.

Solo
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U obviosuly didn’t read the link

smile

Rollo Tomassi
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Heheh,..I can hardly wait till my female regulars chime in.

Good Luck Chuck
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Not sure whether this is due more to social proof as opposed to the desire to truly experience pleasure, but one thing I have noticed that can get you “referral business” is being good in the sack. These days chicks share every juicy detail with their friends, and if you know how to hit the g-spot on a fuck buddy she will tell her friends and they will want to fuck you and won’t be shy about letting you know.

Solo
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Not to spam your blog Rollo but since we talking about size…. Every woman’s preception is different, women truly can’t guage it accurately unless they have been around. For instance, if a girl has had 3-5 inchers with all her sexual partners (4-5 inches is average). Then a guy who is 7 inches and has solid girth is gonna feel like a greek God to her. The truth is you don’t have to have a 12 inch bunker buster. Also for most women it’s mostly girth as well. So I rather have a thick fat cock any day then a… Read more »

Rollo Tomassi
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You know why it matters, because most women have been on the carousel. If there is little to nothing to compare to, then it really doesn’t matter. The fact of life is that in this day and age, it matters. Interesting premise. The study that both A Billion Wicked Thoughts and the inane AskMen article both site is fairly extensive in that it stretches back a long time (1942?). Considering the period (decades) it accounts for, the data would be far too dispersed an average to be accurate for the volatility and revelations of the SMP of today. The sexual… Read more »

Good Luck Chuck
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One thing that should be noted, however, is that sexual prowess has much less bearing on keeping a sexual relationship alive (FB, LTR, STR…whatever) than folks would have you believe.

This is testament to the theory that sex is much less important to women than it is to men.

Rollo Tomassi
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@Solo, I hear you, but also consider that women’s media ‘exposure’ to men’s equipment has grown exponentially in the last 15-20 years. They may not be meeting them in person, but there’s enough availability in porn and the more widespread (hypergamous) encouragement for women to do so to make much better comparisons.

When society was less connected and insular around smaller communities I’m sure the relative comparisons would’ve been limited, but even in that instance the guy with a 6 inch tool is still going to be more popular in town where the average is 4 inches.

Bob Wallace
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This reminds me of a joke I was told by a Filipina.

“I am for the white guy in basketball, the black guy in hockey, and the Asian guy in porn.”

The Shocker
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Every time I read dick doesn’t matter it just reminds me only ugly girls are on the internet. Young attractive girls or cool athletic people aren’t shy about this stuff or pretend it doesn’t matter, I think it’s more a timid thing like how some people would never say black jokes but for other people it’s de rigueur. I couldn’t imagine a 3 or 4 inch dick, when girls say size doesn’t matter they mean anything above 6.5+ girls always know who the biggest they’ve had is- a buddy is hung, he met a stripper he had a threesome with… Read more »

Kleyau
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Women care about penis size the same way we care about hotness on the 1 to 10 scale. Everyone has a satisfactory minimum, but we’re all still going for the high score when it’s there.

Stingray
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Heheh,..I can hardly wait till my female regulars chime in. I’m afraid to even go near this post. . . . But, here goes. It’s a status symbol. It’s a sign of a man’s masculinity and women assume that the bigger it is the more masculine/alpha he is. It prompts more confidence in himself and also increases his preselection as a bigger unit will attract more women. As to using penis size against men, well yeah. It’s an easy dig. It’s a quick way to disqualify any man in comparison to the woman saying it, any girl around the woman… Read more »

Adam
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I think there’s a cap on size, though. I used to work with escorts in my earlier days and regularly had to turn away black men and men that were too endowed because the girls would refuse to fuck them. Also, I read around on the porn industry a lot and one of the most frequent complaints is that the guys are too big. So yeah, it sucks if you’re tiny, but if you’re huge it can also be a problem. I’d say if you’re around 5-7 inches then don’t worry about it.

Dick
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Two comments:
1. How much would it suck to be an undersized black dude
2. Besides size, lack of stamina is also a disqualifyer. A common slight for competing men to suggest another guy is probably a two pump chump.

hockey stick
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I was once at a bar with my buddies, and we played a game to see who could get slapped by a girl first. so, for every girl that walked by, we took turns asking the same question: “you look like you’d know the answer to this. hockey stick dick, or hockey puck dick?”

Majority of the answers were hockey puck dick. apparently da wymnz loves da fatty cockas than the longaz cockas.

no one got slapped. and one girl told me there was only one way for her to find out…

hockey stick
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btw, a little bushwacking adds an inch or two. three if you’re turkish. its all about perception.

average size is more like 5-6 inches.

http://men.webmd.com/features/sex-fact-fiction

Kevin Anon
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I definitely follow your reasoning Rollo, and came to a similar conclusion independently. If size doesn’t matter, then would it be a “thing” at all? You never hear about the size of a man’s balls or the length of a man’s nose. And women are natural nurturers (maternal instinct), and so they are more predisposed to go into consolation mode, and even bullshit themselves, to save a guy from hurt feelings. But if you want the dignity and respect of a man, and not of an infant, you’ll prefer the truth hard and rough, the way *she* prefers *you*: Size… Read more »

Stephen
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It definitely matters to them and always has. But women in general and even feminists can be taken to task still in certain contexts. Naomi Wolf, for example, has just put out her “Vagina” book and it includes a section on the necessity of vaginal orgasm for a woman’s vagina to truly be happy. A man’s ability to give a vaginal orgasm is partly 2d wave feminist code for “He has a cock big enough to make you cum without having to go down on you.” Many younger feminists and feminist allied men are upset that Wolf even mentioned this… Read more »

Jacquie
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You did it again, Rollo; made me see something in myself that I’d rather not have known was there, or at least not remembered was there. As I began writing a comment about women being just as shallow as they claim men to be I remembered back thirty years ago to my high school days. The girls would talk about the guys’ shoe sizes and ask them bluntly what size they wore, which was followed by either giggling or the occasional ooh and ah. When my husband and I were dating I boldly asked him what size shoe he wore… Read more »

MMR
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I agree. It matters. I’m guilty of not letting things progress further because the guy’s package was way too small. The guy ended up with one of my good friends and apparently she makes it work by using other toys while they’re in action. I’ve never mentioned to her I know about his package – or lack thereof – she’s just one of those friends who likes to tell me about her sexcapades. I have another friend who was with a guy who was way too big. He would have to “half cock” her (their words – not mine). It’s… Read more »

BC
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Penis size only truly matters as an disqualifier if it deviates from the ‘norm’ enough to be considered a deformity, which by definition is a genetic aberration and thus unattractive. Yes, yes, there are always a small number of fetishists who will find any particular abnormality attractive, but the vast majority will not. It’s just like boob/butt size on a woman. There is a norm (Plato’s ideal form?) and a generally attractive range around that norm, but any more than a couple/few standard deviations from that norm and you start to limit the number of people who will find it… Read more »

fox
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What can an average man do then to win in this SMP? With average height, average looks, average D size, maybe above average intelligence(though intelligence wont help much to get me laid) I get short changed a lot. Red pill is only giving me partial success but I still have to fully digest it.

bigern77
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90% of women don’t really care unless it’s really small, like 4 inches or less. If some of those within the 90% say it matters, it’s usually only cause they’ve realized it gives them a little power over men who are worried about it. The end.

BC
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What can an average man do then to win in this SMP?

Find something not to be average in, and play to your strength(s).

Oh, and work on your overall game (the basics).

/not rocket science

Kevin Anon
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Hahah BC, you’d think with above average intelligence he would have figured that out himself. fox, start with learning how to ask smart questions. No one knows more about you than you do. Use this blog and the other associated blogs to inform your quest. Figure out what you want from women (your objective), and then always be revising your objective as you increase your experience with women. Just so you know, Rollo doesn’t seem to post much about how to help your game. Neither does Heartiste for that matter. Red pilling isn’t going to make you more successful with… Read more »

jlw
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Thank you for having the guts to break ranks with all the other self-help gladhanders and actually talk about something guys have no real control over that affects their SMV. Most gamers would have you believe that you can drive forever if you just don’t look at the fuel gauge. The truths that march forth: (1) some…um…SMV shortcomings are beyond fixing and (2) cluster enough of these shortcomings on one man and he’s scewed.

Shameful
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Women want the total ‘package’. In a world when all women know deep down they deserve a man who is in the top 1% in every measurable catagory, women caring about dick size is a given. Shit if they will next a guy for a single failed shit test a tiny dick is a deal breaker.

Guys get your testosterone up, it’s not a magic cure all but it helps. In this day and age if you didnt come out of a magic womb with Arnie genes you need to work your ass off.

Johnycomelately
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I never realized how much size mattered until recently. I bought a couple of packs of cotton underwear and my usual practice is to bleach whites. Well unfortunately the bleach seemed to stretch them inordinately, not wanting them to go to waste, I continued to wear them unknowingly creating a huge bulge.

Well, for the next several weeks women could not stop looking at my ‘package’, it got to the point where it went beyond a joke. I had no idea what was going on until I walked past a mirror and thought good gawd.

littlepdog
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littlepdog.com (wrong link in username) Funny, just yesterday a girl at school was gossiping about how one of the biggest players in our year level has a tiny dick 4 inches or so (this particular slut never saw it herself, but a couple other girls she knows have). Interestingly, about a year or so ago an ex told me a guy she blew after we broke up “had a tiny dick” and when I pressed her to found out exactly how tiny the 4 inch number came up again. I don’t think girls care much about dick size unless you’re… Read more »

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YaReally
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lol I saw a girl laugh at a guy’s tiny dick when they were about to hook up and he got pissed and grabbed his shit and left calling her a fucking whore. It was funny shit. I’m average size but it’s silly to even waste brain power thinking about this since you can’t change your dick size and if you’re at the stage where she’s seeing your dick it’s already on (unless you’re insecure and have shitty game like the guy I mentioned above lol), but some relevant shit I’ve gathered from personal experience, conversations with tons of girls,… Read more »

YaReally
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Keep in mind that I’m talking about actually getting laid and actually having results where a penis ends up inside a woman. I’m not talking about “ooo girls LOOKED at me more because I had a bulge!!!! Therefore we can extrapolate that–” or “this girl broke up with a guy because he had a small dick!!!! Ergo we can extrapolate that–” or girls saying “let’s face it dick size gets me wet, thus we can extrapolate that–” (we know to ignore “let’s face it, only looks matter, game doesn’t work except on sluts” but for THIS we start listening to… Read more »

YaReally
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Also for the guys who want to have real conversations about sex with chicks: If you give the vibe off that you won’t judge a girl, she’ll tell you all sorts of insane shit that you’ll need a serious poker face to get through. Her BFF girlfriend won’t judge her, that’s why she tells her all the dirty fucked up shit she wouldn’t tell her boyfriend (who she feels would judge her). Her gay male friend won’t judge her, that’s why they’ll sit and talk about sucking dick all night but clam up if her mom walks into the room… Read more »

Irminsul
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I’ve always considered myself small, by the logic of average=small. Just like being of average intelligence makes you stupid. I’m 6″ or just under. Maybe a little more if I go insanely hard and horny to that point where the dick hurts. You know what I mean. I’ve had insecurities about my size to the point of going insane. One of my biggest desires has always been to be a 100% sex object for women, meaning a guy they DON’T want to be together with, but a guy they come back to regularly to get a good fuck. Because honestly,… Read more »

Jacquie
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@Irminsul Not to mean any disrespect but if you’re not getting any validation from the woman you are in an LTR with, you probably did settle. But I also wonder if you feel you need to validate yourself through women, will you ultimately find what you are looking for or will the level of confidence in who you are always be attached to the last woman you were with? Validation should come from within, not externally. You know who you are and what you are capable of and you build on that. Trying to build yourself on the whims of… Read more »

Vindonnus
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Some women who might honestly say that “size doesn’t matter” will usually base their opinion on a sample of male specimens to which they have been attracted to already through other visible characteristics. These characteristics may be already correlated with an ‘acceptable’ range of penis sizes. For instance, think of the action of testosterone in the development of physiological characteristics that are appealing to women.

http://web.archive.org/web/20090829050504/http://geocities.com/protopop_1999/phalluse.html

Rollo Tomassi
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I was a bit concerned this topic might devolve into a dick measuring contest (literally or figuratively), but thus far I don’t think the comments have gone there yet. When I was netscraping for a suitable pic for the cover shot I started with the most obvious search term “size matters” and the first link Google pulled was the AskMen article I linked. I couldn’t help but think how ironic that result was since I had done the search after I had finished writing the post. It was as if the internet gods were confirming every premise and conclusion. Here… Read more »

Joe Blow
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The funny thing about porn comparisons is most of the people working in porn are midgets. The guys tend to be average or a little better endowed (some exceptions) but they are really short, super thin and shaved (getting the benefit of the Optical Inch). The professionals are also the sex world’s equivalent of Olympic Trials caliber athletes – ordinary people can do a little of what those knuckleheads do, but it’s mostly an illusion, with hours long shoots, fluffers, and over 50% of the starlets report they don’t have an orgasm on film ever. (I’ve read this, no, ahem,… Read more »

Joe Blow
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Need an edit function on these comments…

Stingray
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I don’t know a whole lot about penis envy as coined by Freud, but I don’t think most women are actually envious of the male member. Rather, they are envious of masculinity. Nothing overtly signifies masculinity more than the penis. We want masculine men, so a large penis would naturally signify more manliness. If we want to take a man’s masculinity, we would deride that which signifies it the most. I was a bit concerned this topic might devolve into a dick measuring contest (literally or figuratively), but thus far I don’t think the comments have gone there yet. Shall… Read more »

JS
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If you’re small read through David Shade’s ASF archive and learn the deep spot and Welcomed methods he talks about. Then when the woman is completely satiated, hop on board, she won’t mind at that point.

xsplat
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I’m also of the opinion that even if you can’t change a negative feature, it’s still a good idea to have an accurate mental map of how it can help or hinder you. I understand that the other way of doing things, keeping positive feel good thoughts at all times is another useful approach. For guys with an above average dick, you’re going to want to be able to play to your strengths. For that you are going to have to learn to fuck really well. That means staying power as well as heightened sensitivity – a difficult combination. Guys… Read more »

Marellus
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From Girl with a one-track mind (2) The pros and cons of differences in cock size (in my opinion) LARGE COCK PROS a) It fills me up and I feel like I am getting ‘fucked’ b) It pushes against my cervix and stimulates my womb c) It pulls on my labia and thus indirectly stimulates my clit d) It looks beautiful when hard underneath jeans e) In fact it looks beautiful full stop f) I feel like a girl when I hold it, or put it in my mouth g) It can reach any position, any angle, any depth LARGE… Read more »

b-166-er
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There is really no limit to the size dildo a woman can purchase.

But what she can’t really purchase is all that “other stuff” like pinning her arms behind her head, smacking that ass, pulling her hair… basically, letting her know when you fuck, she is under “occupation”… Ive seen lots of girls dildos and most were average or smaller.

I suspect its gay men buying the huge dildos.

Team-Red
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They tell u size doesn’t matter so that the guy with a tiny dick still invests resources in a girl that it does matter to so she still gets to attain some of his resources out of the short lasting interaction. If the small penis man knew it mattered would he knowingly move forward with his resources in exchange for her sex? No.

On the flip side, a man can tell if a woman is fat and old so there doesn’t need to be such a conversation about the weight/age.

Sam Spade
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Sam Spade
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This is why women do “junk bumps,” accidental physical brushes with a man’s midsection to see what he’s packing. One thing I’ve noticed about the more relaxed attitude toward discussing size in this day and age….that the male body is becoming more “objectified” (for lack of a better term) and that men are allowing this to happen. Look at the Prince Harry photos, or for that matter any “leaked” photos of celebrity dicks. (Don’t literally look at them unless you want to.) Or the sharp increase in male nudity, cock included, in mainstream film in the past ten years. Have… Read more »

HeligKo
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HeligKo
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This is all kind of funny. To most women there is a range that feels good. One that is on the big end of that range is a perk. There are certainly thrill seekers and women who just are built for the bigger ones that really aren’t happy with a normal guy and its a deal breaker, but most women don’t have an issue with dick size if they make past the first couple rolls in the hay. It only comes up after a break up. Its a shaming tool for them, and a control tool in a LTR where… Read more »

Jason773
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Jason773
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YaReally killed it in the comments. Nothing else to add.

HolySwordFarewell
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HolySwordFarewell
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Funny, I had never considered that avenue that a girl would make up excuses because the guy was ‘lacking’. Really though, any girl who says it isnt important is lying, strictly from an evolutionary point of view that penetration turns women on.

But, when did girls ever want to hear of developmental biology?

**On a side note, I came across a study 3-4 years ago that males now get more mouth cancer from giving girls oral sex than chewing tobacco. Scary. Hard to get past the STD scare a LOT of women represent in this day and age.

Jason773
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Jason773
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I lied, I actually do have something to add. Rollo, this isn’t your best work article-wise, simply because any idiot should know that size matters to an extent. Of course anything too small (prob <4in) is going to be a detriment, while a huge donkey cock might be a novelty, but if you're anywhere in the middle you'll be fine and most women won't really care. Depending on race and study, if you are 5-7in then you are just like the vast majority of guys, and you should have no problem. Also, for you guys who don't actually have sex… Read more »

jeremy
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jeremy
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How about an article on what to do if you have a small penis? I have been with around 100 girls and never gave much thought to the disproportionate number of one night stands I’ve had, but I’m starting to suspect that it’s the size of my penis, which is barely 5″ on a good day. I even had a girl blurt out “Is that all?” one time… but given, she was a total slut.

ornamentalwomanhood
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Ideally, both men and women should have none, or very little, previous sexual experiences before marriage to “compare” to (shudder). Then these issues are avoided. God knows best…again.

[So, ideally, ignorance is bliss.]

Mark Minter
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I have a joke that kind of goes with the lead in. A recently divorced woman is driving her 5th grade daughter to school. Things are tense between the two because the daughter was close to the father and felt the mother was at fault in the divorce. The daughter asks “How old are you?” The mother responds “Honey, that’s an impolite question that you just don’t ask a woman.” The little girl then asks “How much do you weigh?” The mother responds “Honey, that’s another impolite question that someone should never ask a woman?” Exasperated, the girl then asks… Read more »

Mark Minter
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@Jeremy Your hand is as big in girth as any man’s penis. Search on Google for “Stacked orgasms”, that famous phrase from “Game” by Neil Strauss. Learn that technique. I think there is a youtube video. Stacked orgasms is just a fancy term for multiples. You basically will have all four fingers inside the vagina and your thumb on the clitoris. You bend your middle finger back around the interior of the pubic bone to find the “G” spot. When you curl your middle finger like that, that tip of it will be on the “G” spot. That area will… Read more »

Mark Minter
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@Irminsul This is way far down in the comment stack and late at night so you probably will never see this. The typical range of penises are 5″-7″. By Chebyshev’s Rule, 65% of a sample will fall with 1 standard deviation of the mean, (average- meaning 6″). 95% will fall with 2 standard deviations. I’m sorry I have no idea what the standard deviation for penis size is, but I am going to assume that it about a 1/2 inch. So the reality it a good number of men are as large as you are or even smaller. If you… Read more »

tgrwhite8974
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In my omega days I had the luck to get involved in a devil’s threesome with a hot girl and an alpha. He had the game whereas I had the “I knew you’d be big.” she said moment. Anyway, he was a competitive guy and he started chasing her again in order to prove he could get her to choose him over me but thanks to my being the bigger man (in every way) she threw herself at me. This was right at the start of my red pill journey though and I fucked up a sure thing… Of course,… Read more »

Mark Minter
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I got another joke.

A woman discovers that the man she is about to have sex with for the first time has a two inch penis.

She says “And who do you intend to satisfy with that thing?”

He says “Me”.

rgoltn
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rgoltn
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Interesting point…So, what if Mr. boring-Accountant-hubby with the 9-5 job has a large tool? How does that mess with the female mind? She seeks him out for security and gets a bonus, but grows bored. Like in the HBO series “Hung” where the guy is not secure in his career or one to bring in more than a teacher’s salary, but has a great tool. His wife leaves him and says the only good thing he ever had going for him was his big cock. Women have more control financially and sexually today, so it makes sense that they do… Read more »

omen
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omen
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Surprised to see this post on a game blog. The comments too. Since when did men give a fuck about pleasing women? They are there for OUR pleasure, not the other way around. They are the nurturers, not us. Maybe I was a natural but I never gave one single fuck what women wanted from me in the bedroom and they always came back for more. And before you say it’s due to size, a stint in the military assures me I am right in the middle range of size. All this talk about size is just cockblocking yourselves and… Read more »

Topandbottom Onepercenter
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Topandbottom Onepercenter
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Like anything in my life- I guess it matters, but not enough to do me much good. I say this because statistically I am in the upper percentiles at least as far as length. I am closer to average girth-wise, but could not be considered small by any normal sized human. I am pretty much exactly 8 x 5 erect. My IQ is in the top 2%. These things have never helped me get laid. I saw some guy up there complaining about being 5″ and having 100 sexual partners. Dude…. I am in my mid-30s. Been with 2 women.… Read more »

Simon Corso
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Simon Corso
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Sophomore year in high school there was this girl , let’s call her TC. She was tall and thin, she wasn’t the most popular or desirable girl in HS but she did make a few guest appearances in my postpubescent wankreel, anyway. I was sitting alone one day and TC walks up with a couple of her friends. She says, ” Can I see your hand. ” I held out my hand as if to shake. She grabbed it and turned the palm upwards, she placed a ruler on it holding the end at the first wrinkle on my wrist… Read more »

kellytaddea
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I may not be an expert about sex but I do know before size I want someone who clips their toe nails, does not touch me with dirty finger nails,baths more than once a week, knows what the inside of a dentist office looks like. For me personal hygiene is sexy along with a sensitivity to the fact that my body is not like a mans so intercourse can hurt if I’m not ready. Some woman may like large men but for others it is painful. My girlfriends complain about scratching,biting,twisting nipples,pulling hair, climaxing and going to sleep,climaxing to quickly… Read more »

christianplayer
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Penis size matters and so does vagina size. Many women who spend time on men’s penis size are deflecting the real issue: as they age and sleep around, their vagina loosens (even if they do their dumb exercises they claim tighten their vaginas). Virgins and/or younger women offer the most friction and thus another reason to avoid any long term commitment with a woman. On an interesting note: a man’s penis size after the age of 20 doesn’t grow or shrink that much, so it remains the same. Also, for men worried about penis size, keep in mind that there… Read more »

xsplat
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xsplat
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Mark, I’m not sure about that hand measurement dick size thing. My dick is exactly as big as my hand, from the where the hand joins the wrist to the tip of the middle finger, which is the same measurement as my finger span. When stretching to reach past an octave on the piano I’m measuring my dick.

I suppose I have smallish hands on a smallish frame. Big feet though.

But I have heard that there is a correlation between hand and dick size, more so than between feet and dick.

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[…] Mark Minter Size Matters […]

S
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S
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I’m going to say that size does matter. When a guy is on the small side he is more likely to have an abundance of inadequacy issues that will further contribute towards putting of a lady. I often hear women complaining of too large penises (7inches plus) saying that it hurts them..but really if enough preparation is made, it shouldn’t.

S
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S
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@YaReally,

“I know a few short guys who get laid a lot when logically there’s no way they’re packing much down there. Hell, one of them uses his size to get anal from every chick he hooks up with (“no it’s cool, we can do anal because you won’t even notice it.”) lol”..

Bullshit. Height is not a predictor of penis size. Logically they can pack whatever size their genetics determine.

YaReally
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YaReally
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@S

I guess it’s possible. I just figure a guy who’s 5’2″ probably isn’t packing what would essentially be the size of his forearm. Buying pants must be a nightmare.

S
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S
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@YaReally,

I have heard of men who are on the shorter side being 6.5 inches plus and have also heard of some extremely tall men being pretty average or less than in the trouser department.

DJDamage
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DJDamage
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Jay
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Jay
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I think it’s wrong to conclude that it’s the size of the dick that turned the chick off. I think that it’s his insecure behavior because of his small dick which turned her off in the first place. The small dick just confirmed her preconceived view of him.

Tobin Rote
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Tobin Rote
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@Jay — Who knows, his dick might have not even been that small, maybe he was just lousy in bed, or not ‘alpha’ in general. Plenty of women dream up a virtual penis size depending on how good the guy makes them feel. Just because this was whispered in confidence doesn’t mean she was down there with a tape measure.

(I’ve had a couple gfs who told their friends I was huge, when I’m assuredly not. But its a nice rumor to have whispered around. Probably had a few who told their buds I was three inches too, after the breakup.)

AlphaBeta
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AlphaBeta
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Sexual selection. Big dicks exist for a reason (hint: sexual selection is usually driven by the choosier sex).

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[…] Size Matters Interesting article: Size Matters […]

pacman44
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pacman44
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I’m short (height-wise), but have a perfectly average dick (6-7″, average girth). Obviously being short is an even more noticeable handicap, as women perceive this long before they get near your equipment. Further, I’ve known a few women who correlate height with penis size, even though that correlation is weak at best (if it exists at all). I know a few short guys with huge–huge–dicks. That said, I’ve dated plenty of beautiful women, several significantly taller than myself. I’m blessed in that I’m otherwise good looking and comfortable in the bedroom. A girl I’m seeing now has been with several… Read more »

ProofNeeded
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ProofNeeded
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I don’t believe in double standards, the female self esteem cult wants female obesity and ugliness and age and poverty *not* to be a topic of discussion so they can fully enjoy the fruits of a muscular, big dicked man without feeling shame. Ironically a typical canard about the manosphere is that it’s a bunch of losers out of their element who just won’t date their “type” and instead shoot for the hotties out of their league but female hypergamy wants the reverse, in addition to other things. I remember watching Chelsea Handler allege that a man had a small… Read more »

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E
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E
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Most of the comments here basically tuned in to what a woman’s feeling and wanting in penis size. Its nice to know that you can please a woman in bed – but thats often best accomplished by other things than penis size. What about what we as men want? To me, it appears most comments are over-focused on womens’ desires. What about being a man in your own right? Or has being a man primarily come down to just pleasing a woman? It is true women use penis size to shame & invalidate men. Again, why are we as men… Read more »

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[…] Size Matters […]

M Simon
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M Simon
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I disqualify women shorter than 5′ 6″ and smaller than a “C”. Taller big breasted women generally have more self confidence. I prefer >5′ 7″ and “D”.

What about the cover up of betas? “More than a handful is wasted.” Well – I have big hands. A “D” fits nicely. If I can get her excited the breast expands to “DD”. Tasty.

Self confidence is worth more than dick size. So why does it matter? Generally –> small dick = lower self confidence.

M Simon
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M Simon
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Irminsul September 18th, 2012 at 6:59 am I dunno. I have a strict rule that I learned after the 4th or 5th girl. Never fuck a chick where there is not mutual love. It need not last. But if that love/desire isn’t there the experience will be 2nd rate or worse. You want to maintain her love in a LTR? Have a girlfriend she knows about. Better – have threesomes with her and the GF. Make sure they are both “in love” and want to keep that going. They will compete. That is very good. And the best? “Want to… Read more »

Stingray
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Stingray
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Saw this trailer yesterday and it reminded me of this post. Thought you would like it:

TuffLuv
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TuffLuv
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2 Things.. 1. You must have confidence in your size, no matter what it is. 2. If you want to make the girl squirt (vaginally), the hand can be far more effective. This skill ‘definitely’ gains you points. 15 seconds to explosion.. That’s how good it can get.

Jamie
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Jamie
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Women deny that size matters because we’re socialized that it’s bad, wrong, degrading, we’re sluts, have loose pussies, etc. if we admit that size matters at all. Here’s the truth (whether you wish to believe it or not): size MATTERS. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean bigger is better. It means that different sized penises feel different from one another. Just like men have preferences when it comes to sex (breast size, pussy tightness, etc.), a woman has preferences on which sensation she prefers when having sex. Some women like long and thick, some short and thick, some long and thing,… Read more »

EPaul
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EPaul
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I’m a little late to the game on this topic, but I have some thoughts on this. First off, maybe this is my inner mgtow, but for a bunch of red pill guys here, the comments are borderline blue pill/pussy beggar. So many comments like “if you work hard to please her in other ways, she will be happy.” I don’t think I need to explain why this type of thinking is tragically flawed. But to answer the question on whether size matters: YES and NO. Sure, it matters in terms of overall masculinity/hypergamy, and especially if she’s into the… Read more »

EPaul
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EPaul
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Also, I hope Rollo read my previous comment and considers doing another topic on this subject, but this time taking a less gynocentric viewpoint.

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[…] never tell us that; It would be like admitting they like big cocks over little ones. A post called Size Matters written by Rollo Tomassi on TheRationalMale discusses exactly […]

Pwn
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Pwn
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I think some commenters over think sex and that’s seriously detrimental to getting women off. YaReally’s comment is good because one has to learn certain techniques, but besides that you should do to women in bed whatever feels natural to you. I assume most of us feel like dominating girls in bed and every single girl I’ve been with liked that. Something I learned is that contrast amplifies all their reactions. So fuck her on top with all your weight on her and then fuck her doggy and your dick will feel amazing because now that’s the only part of… Read more »

Mark
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Mark
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Makes sense to me now, size doesn’t matter when it come to Beta providers but it does when it come to Alpha sex partners.

Kenny J
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Kenny J
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Do penis exercises actually work? I have scoured the internet for the past few weeks trying to find some reliable sites or advice to grow my “painfully average” member. Should I just give up? What do you suggest the small/average guys do? We’ve established that size matters but there seems to be a lack of solutions. Could anyone point me in the right direction?

Epubliusrex
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Epubliusrex
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Sorry guys. There is no other way to know what a man is packing other than by looking at his crotch. I’m 5’10” tall and have size 9 feet. My Dick is between 8-9″ depending on how hot the woman is and how happy I am with her. It also appears to be perfect in circumference and looks–every woman I’ve ever been with has told me so. and yeah, they pretty much all fall in love with it. That allowed me to marry two heireses and carry a harem wherein I was open and honest about it. The only books… Read more »

SlightlyAboveAverage
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SlightlyAboveAverage
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Yeah, whenever the subject “size matters” comes up I just say something like “and we all know there is one vagina size” and that pretty much ends the discussion. Just comes down to how well the couple fits together.

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