Difference of Purpose

Have a look at these videos.

Very interesting. First, I have to acknowledge that the CFM (cosmo for men) video was funded by the magazine, and the ass-cam was funded by Levis as part of a viral marketing effort, but look at the difference in approach to both of these. They’re essentially experimenting for the same purpose, but look where each gender places the emphasis and the methodology each uses to collect data. Yes, I know this is for entertainment purposes, but it’s really fascinating to see the differences “in the wild” so to speak.

For the women it was all about “busting” (i.e. shaming) men checking out their ass, while still enjoying the attention, all set to some club music(something bigger something better). It almost wasn’t worth the effort considering that women have a much more pronounced peripheral awareness than men and they’re only confirming what they already know; guys like a nice ass. As a rule, women love the chemical rush that accompanies experiencing indignation, so it’s no surprise that the overall production is one that prompts this – and this is especially true of the clips where a guy who is obviously ‘with’ another girl takes a moment to check out an ass in her presence. “Men are pigs and here’s the proof.”

Compare this to the much more elaborate men’s video, complete with an ‘onboard’ video unit backpack to support 4 different camera angles. The approach here is to gather covert information, not to shame women. While entertaining, the purpose is to empirically educate men in one of the prime tenets of Game, which also happens to be one of the prime tenets of behavioral psychology:

Behavior is the only reliable proof of motivation or intent. Believe what a woman does, not what she says.

The approach is one of deductive reasoning. What parts of a man’s body are reported by women to be the most attractive? And here we have it; how often do we read that women are first attracted to a man’s face or eyes? To be cute they might also mention how they like a nice butt on a man. Yet neither of these regions were targeted by women very often or at all in the case of eyes. The majority also report that they’re less attracted to “overly muscular men” yet if this experiment is accurate, it was this guy’s biceps that attracted the most attention for women, followed only by crotch gazing in frequency – another body part women would rarely admit to ‘checking out’ on a guy.

Take these videos with a grain of salt. As I started with, both of these were sponsored by business ventures with a vested interest in generating attention and sales. However, I can’t help but see the code in the Matrix here with regard to how each gender process the same idea. It’s the purpose behind the video that betrays the interest. I find this idea infinitely more educational than contrived PUA street demonstrations.

18 comments

  1. “this guy’s biceps that attracted the most attention for women, followed only by crotch gazing”

    Size DOES matter.

    “Behavior is the only reliable proof of motivation or intent. Believe what a woman does, not what she says.”

    This is crucially important for men — especially young men — to grasp. Many women won’t admit, or don’t want to admit, what they like or find attractive.

    1. Words: “I just want a nice guy who will treat me right”
    Action: Screws the drummer in the rock band an hour after meeting him

    2. Words: “I want to wait (for sex) with you, because you’re special”
    Action: Cheats on the nice guy beta with the bad boy on the motorcycle an hour after meeting him

    3. Words: “It’s not the size of the wave, it’s the motion of the ocean”
    Action: checks out musclebound biceps and crotches on good looking men

    4. Words: “I really like you. I’m just not ready right now.
    Action: Losing weight for hot guy she’ll be screwing in a day or two

    5. Words: “I want you to be happy. Go ahead and take the lesser paying job.”
    Action: Calls her husband a kitchen bitch, cheats on him with impoverished musician, wonders why she gets kicked out of house

  2. Compare this to the much more elaborate men’s video, complete with an ‘onboard’ video unit backpack to support 4 different camera angles. The approach here is to gather covert information, not to shame women.

    Not to turn this into a media rant but speaking of gender bias, has anyone seen that 5 hour energy commercial where the guy decides to take 5 hour energy so he can “be a morning person” and get up early to work out with his wife? The facial expressions on her face when he “dares” to join her for a workout are cringeworthy, but the scene where she throws a towel in his face makes this easily the most misandrist commercial I have ever seen.

    Is this what we have come to? I know Rollo is fond of talking about how we should reverse the gender in situations like this to see how people would react. Could you IMAGINE a tv commercial where the husband gets pissy at the wife for wanting to better herself and then to add insult to injury proceeds to throw a towel in her face? Women who weren’t even alive 50 years ago bitch and complain about some imaginary patriarchal boogeyman that haunted women in the past, yet something that is this blatantly disgusting is allowed in today’s climate as long as it is directed toward men.

  3. Even back in my AFC days I noticed and acknowledged female crotch staring. I guess as an AFC it was refreshing to know they were guilty of something like that, so I never disabused myself of the notion or explained it away. In my most AFC days, I still, deep down, knew the truth.

  4. Is it just me, or were the glances from the women hard to see? It would make sense that they would be a little more covert when doing something that they wouldn’t publicly acknowledge.

  5. Sam,

    I believe you touch on an important fact here. It seems most of us knew, at some level, the truth. Our problem was we didn’t know how to properly make use of the realities with which we were struggling. For example, sure, we knew girls liked the “bad boys” but we didn’t really understand what aspects of the personae they wanted.

    When reading on this subject, I find the most liberating thing to be how very, very few rAFC stories are dissimilar – meaning we, as men, have an instinct for it (which society works to repress) but we still, to a point, need(ed) male guidance.

  6. Chuck, did you post this because you heard me screaming at my TV from 1,000s of miles away? Because that was exactly what prompted my rage; you nailed it.

    Were it reversed, can’t you hear them shrieking in your head already:
    “She doesn’t even need to work out!
    “She’s perfect however she looks!
    “How dare that bastard!”
    “That towel to the face is domestic abuse; He should be in jail!”

  7. Women have much better peripheral vision than men. The implication being they can check out bulges without being detected.

    I postulate women check guys out much more then we are aware of because us guys don’t realize women don’t have the same “tunnel vision” that we do. What seems to a man to be a women looking in an innocent direction could be her checking out your sweet lats.

    Awesome blog Rollo

  8. Guys will look for a few seconds and forget it.
    Women take a half second glance, memorize it, then fantasize about it that night.

  9. I don’t buy the women have better “peripheral vision” bit. I think generally, men just don’t care. I know I don’t. if u have a nice ass I’m gonna look. if u didn’t want me to notice don’t show it off.

    that said, I catch women crotch gazing at me as well as checking out my pecks all the time. although I agree most men normally aren’t as observant about such things with regards to women.

  10. Girls instinctively look downward when they are attracted to a man.

    So if they are standing up and facing a man who is taller than them, they will look downwards and be facing his biceps.

    If they are sitting, their downward look will face his crotch. That’s all there is to this video.

    Also, there are plenty of times in this video where the girls look directly into his eyes, but they fail to highlight it. Lame video.

  11. one of the prime tenets of Game, which also happens to be one of the prime tenets of behavioral psychology:

    Behavior is the only reliable proof of motivation or intent. Believe what a woman does, not what she says.

    Which game? It’s funny how each of you gamer folks likes to take credit for everything on planet earth. Everyone of you will say shit like “x is a primary tenent of game”. Ask 1000 gamers to compile a list of top 10 tenents of game, and you’ll get a 1000 answers.

    To me sounds just like a really elaborate mind-fuck placebo for one to not face inner-game issues.

    Behavior is the only reliable proof of motivation or intent. Believe what a woman does, not what she says.

    Contrary to gamer belief, most people in the real world have known this for thousands of years. When something like this has to be told to someone, it just makes the game-audience look bad…

    “Wait, you just figured that out, that’s news to you? People who “study game” need to be told that? What’s next, take showers regularly?”

    What parts of a man’s body are reported by women to be the most attractive?

    Reported where and by which women? Is this the ethereal vague “them”? I’ve interviewed women for years, and they’ve all been telling me about checking out biceps first.

    Where is this conspiratorial “them” hiding? Can you show me a study that supposedly women are trying to trick you. Can you show me a study where women in general (and in which country?) claim that they only check out face and eyes?

    The majority also report that they’re less attracted to “overly muscular men” yet if this experiment is accurate, it was this guy’s biceps that attracted the most attention for women

    Mmmm… Did you see what you did there “Women report they don’t like B, but they did a lot of A”

    Women report they don’t like OVERLY muscular men. They didn’t say they don’t like muscle. The key word is OVERLY. And it is true and has been studied in several ways.

    It is true that more muscular men have more sexual partners and ellicit more sexual excitement from women, but ONLY up to a CUTOFF POINT, above which it becomes a negative.

    The adonis effect guys reference and summarize a lot of those studies. I have one around here where they found that the average guy over-estimates how much muscle is attractive by 20 pounds.

    THERE’S A SWEET SPOT. Women weren’t saying “we dislike muscle”, they were saying “I like a CERTAIN moderate amount of muscle”. The guy in the video is by no means a pro-bodybuilder.

    followed only by crotch gazing in frequency – another body part women would rarely admit to ‘checking out’ on a guy.

    Do you have ANY female friends? All my female friends and acquaintances have admitted this. What are you talking about?

    If you mean what women say in “polite company” or on national TV, that’s obvious self-censoring due to politeness. But men wouldn’t say “I check out butts” in those contexts EITHER. The guys ALSO say “Oh, I notice a woman’s eyes first” in politically correct contexts too like being interviewed for a major mainstream magazine or a family program or whatever.

    In private contexts, where men are honest about butt-gazing, women are honest about crotch gazing too.

    I’m sorry to ruin the conspiratorial “us vs. them” dynamique that the game cult is based on, but the conspiracy just isn’t there. There is no hidden conspiracy by “mainstream society” to hide away “the secret of attraction” from you.

  12. I took a minute for a lazy google of women’s comparative peripheral vision, and confirmed what you said.

    I was at the disco the other night, and wasn’t sure if a girl who was giving me no eye contact was none the less giving me IOIs by dancing near me even as I moved about the club. Did she notice how I’d been observing her much of the night?

    As a man I’d need to look right at a persons face to know if they were looking at me. I’m guessing now that a girls peripheral vision can do that while being more discreet.

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