Since 50 Shades of Grey is essentially the same plot formula as Twilight, feel free to insert the relevant protagonists’ names for Bella and Edward here.
I’ve had a lot of PMs asking me for some input regarding the runaway popularity of the B-Grade fan porn that is 50 Shade of Grey. Vox had a brief spot about it in relation to how men can’t win for losing in girl-world. Aunt Giggles had an interesting run down of its popularity, but predictably eels her way around the operative point of how semi-violent romance porn affirms the uglier truths of Game and hypergamy – not to mention avoiding the sticky aspect of ‘committed’ women fantasizing about it.
I honestly haven’t given the book too much headspace since it only reaffirms what the manosphere has been professing for over a decade now: in spite of all protestations of the opposite, women get off on dominance. Big shock, I know. It’s ironic that The Chateau should need to cite psych study upon psych study, ad infinitum for 6 years to reinforce a dynamic that women will now gleefully admit to only after a cheap, fanfiction sub-porn hack calls them blushingly out to the carpet on it.
If this book represents any significant turning point it will be its role in provably, viscerally, forcing women to acknowledge their own bullshit. I can hardly wait for the girl-world collective mental twistings in the wind – the desperate whir of millions of rationalization hamsters grasping for a plausible deniability or a freshly minted social convention (male shaming for bringing women to men’s porn mentality) that will excuse them from the guilt of an inconvenient truth. Perhaps the NAWALT trope, that one’s always the Swiss army knife for the feminine cause. Really anything that will put the Hypergamy Genie back in the bottle and keep the questioning Betas from getting too curious about feminine nature will do.
In the Bitter Taste of the Red Pill comments, esteemed colleague Dalrock had a timely and profound post that fits this porn-dominance formula perfectly:
These women don’t just want to build a better beta, they want to tame the alpha. In fact, I think the former is just another way they are trying to approach the latter. They want to take an inherrently unsafe activity and make it safe. They want to submit to a man without having to submit; they want a man who can tame their feral self. They want him to trip their danger signals. Even better if he is a stranger from a strange land.
They wan’t this all to happen without giving up their freedom; they want to play this out in the context of serial monogamy, so they can feel loved while also claiming their promiscuity is moral. They want to lose controll to a string of strangers who have all of the hallmarks of very dangerous men, and they want a promise that this will always end well.
They want to know that this will be safe, without it losing the excitement of it feeling unsafe. They are telling men to build a sort of serial monogamy amusement park where they can ride the roller coaster and experience the fear of falling or crashing, while knowing that just behind the scenes grown ups are actually in charge and are responsible for them safely feeling unsafe.
One more thing. As I mentioned above they don’t want to be hemmed in. So instead of building an actuall amusement park, they want roller coasters to spring up randomly in the same exact circumstances where the real danger they mimik would appear. They want to be driving their car on the freeway one instant, and the next experience the fear of careening out of controll the next. They want to impulsively jump off the edge of the Grand Canyon and have a parachute appear and deploy at the last minute. And all they ask is your guarantee that all of this will be safe.
Behold, the female porn dynamic perfected. Danger without danger, bad boy with a heart of gold, a guy who wont cheat, but could cheat,..
April 20th, 2012 at 9:22 am
Mike C – “You do NOT need to talk through every single detail with your SO about these dynamics”
Yeah, well, this comes from belief that we were supposed to be “equal” partners. By that I mean, I felt like I should tell her what’s going on with me and my thoughts, because my naive belief was that I owed it to her.
Instead, what I’m figuring out is I should be thinking of her kinda like a kid at Disneyland. She doesn’t have any idea how the rides work, and she doesn’t want to know who the guy behind the curtain is. It’s disappointing in a way, because I really would like my mate to truly KNOW me. But that doesn’t seem likely.
Who the hell do I get to be ME with? Is it really our lot in life to have no one that truly understands us? I know it sounds “pussy-new aged-listens to Yanni” to say it, but I have to be able to spill my guts to someone on occasion. THIS was what I thought “moral support” from a mate was supposed to be, but if I can’t even tell her what’s bothering me, she certainly can’t support me through it.
StingRay – thanks for the links. I’m probably going to talk to someone there to get a good idea of how I should approach this. I have NO desire to really bulk up, I just need to keep burning off fat, and although walking is certainly helping a great deal, it isn’t going to work off the chest, gut, and arm flab at all. Mostly I just need to tone all that stuff up.
But hey, my legs are looking sculpted! Hauling all my extra ass around on these hikes is really putting them through the works.
April 20th, 2012 at 9:45 am
Here’s a copule more reading selections for you Ted:
https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/11/14/appreciation/
https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/13/just-be-yourself/
April 20th, 2012 at 10:18 am
Fuck me sideways…
OK. I can come here and discuss this forever, but the truth is I need to knock this shit out against someone. It’s how I think through stuff. NONE of my friends is even close to knowing anything at all about this stuff. They are musicians and IT people. The one friend I *think* could handle this the best (and probably use the knowledge) is on marriage number 3, but so far this one is holding.
How do I get this in front of him? Honestly, if I send him here first, I think he will be overwhelmed and probably just tell me you all are crazy and I’m going to fuck up my relationship thinking like this. I could buy him Athol’s book, but I read that months ago and it doesn’t have this information. It may tell guys how to act, but not why they have to act that way. And it’s the why that stresses me out.
If I can’t talk to my mate, I need someone in my life that has a clue, but I’m in NO position to “show them the truth” when I’m here freaking out about it myself. This is why I haven’t told a single guy I know about the ‘sphere at all. I don’t know how to explain it, and I don’t think any of them will want to face the cold hard truth so abruptly. Shit, they all say they are happy. Even if that’s true, taking the red pill will change it.
May 16th, 2012 at 1:28 am
I’m amd listening and reading this site with more and more understanding. I am kinda like Ted, slowly swallowing the RED pill, digesting and trying to make sense of it all.
I am learning new things everyday, but sometimes I have to unplug to take it all in, otherwise it gets overwhealming. Anyway I enjoyed reading the post it has def been aN eye opening last 6 months since I started reading this awesome blog and just wanted to say thanks everyone for your excellent and well thought out posts.
Now go grab your SO’s ass and give her a hard one from me!
I love you all. That is all.
June 6th, 2012 at 12:36 pm
[…] reminds me of a comment I left on Rollo’s site, which he was kind enough to quote in his post 50 Shades of Twilight. Here is my take on what feral women want: I think there is another side to the same coin. These […]
June 20th, 2012 at 1:37 pm
Where do I start? Where do I start? I’m just gonna come out and say it here…I stumbled across this place…what’s it called manosphere? Yeah I’m gonna sound pathetic. Heck you’re all probably gonna think I’m too stupid to live. If this was Neanderthal age, i’d be the first to be crushed by a bloody massive mammoth. Why? Because I’ve come to a effing conclusion…Throughout school, I always wondered, why oh why were a certain select few reaping the benefits of mankind…going on dates, partying, drinking, going on dates, getting the chicks…conclusion most were alphas, jocks and modelly looking types, the ones that weren’t jocks were from wealthy families with abs and guns like steel(And I aint exaggerating..). And I was weird skinny kid with zits that made a raspberry look like succulent pear fruit. I was nothing. I still I’m. I had only one friend. He was whizz at maths and the girls…these girls only wanted him for one thing…to be their lapdog when it came to doing their math homework. The only girl to give me the time of the day was Curly Sally, she was zany, fat and wanted to become a lesbian (don’t ask me how one becomes a lesbian) but she liked me. We kinda dated. I decided maybe i should focus on girls closer to me in looks…then it happened. The harsh reality that Curly Sally was only dating me because and I quote ‘I’m only with him for practice…I want to be able to please [insert Mr. Alpha here] when i meet him. I mean did you read 50 shades? Ana wasn’t exactly gorgeous when she met 50…jeez sometimes i wonder why we can’t find a guy like 50. No man is ever gonna measure up.’ and the worse bit ‘He = (me) can bulk up but his face isn’t going to change. He hasn’t got that jawline, maybe that’s why i get the headaches when he wants to kiss me. And i don’t even want him to cuddle me anymore. I need a 50 in my life.’ This is a phone call transcription to her friend and i wish i never overheard. She was with me to please…when i was trying to give her the time of the day? Did I love her? Yeah. I guess. I thought we were on the same page but i was wrong…the next thing i knew she was arguing with me over too much salt in the scrambled eggs THAT I VOLUNTEERED to fry for her because I HAD ADDED TO MUCH SALT AND BAM BREAK UP! WHY! Ok i’ll stop yelling…i warned you this was gonna get pathetic.
But then i met the coolest man ever…45 sadly divorced twice, says women have gotten worse over the decade, showed me the gym and all to get in shape. He wanted to help me. Sadly i couldn’t gain any muscle to save my life. I’m podgy like hell. So I gave up; got this bad bowl cut and decided to give up on girls. Yeah Mr. 45 started banging this girl only for him to get duped because she was also banging some other guy. So why give up on love altogether? Isn’t that dumb?
Yeah it’s fucked cos it’s not getting any better for me. I approach a girl and the next thing I hear is scraping of chairs and bags shuffling. Yep. Then I see Mr. Alpha whose face is soo boring he could be wallpaper, pretty wallpaper flash his pale white smile and bam, the girls flock to him! But my bestfriend in the world, maths whizz has told me something…eureka moment. Forget about love, forget about girls. He’s gonna try and know as much maths as one human being can know and I’m gonna join cos one can’t know that much math.
For now I’m out of the race.
July 20th, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Regarding this book “50 shades of grey” The women definitely want this kind of sex but just not with their mediocre husbands and boyfriends.
Women dont want these kind of sexual dynamics with a regular guy. There is nothing most men can do. Men are already uninhibited about sex. They are already willing to have more sex, with more partners in more ways. There is nothing men can do because women set different limits, terms and boundaries with different men. Women will never *let* most men go there. Women will never submit themselves to most men. Most men are simply not good enough for this. The so called Alpha male doesnt pull out confidence out of his ass. He gets confidence from the way women engage with him. Women naturally bring out their feminine and vulnerable side in the presence of desirable, dominant alpha men.
Women have relationships for various reasons. Sexual fulfillment is just very low on the priority lists. Women know this but only subconsciously. The kind of men they really desire sexually, they really want to submit to sexually are very few and not available for commitment to the vast majority of them. However, most women can have flings with such men, regardless of how mediocre they themselves are. As you know women can get sex with high quality men quite easily.
What I want is for *men* to open their eyes and swallow the bitter pill…come to terms with the uncomfortable truth about female sexuality. This, I believe its very important. This I beleive will make them more equipped to deal with women. It will make them more tough and most importantly they will learn to never invest too much in any woman because they are incapable of desiring you as much as you desire them. I feel really sad that my gender is so naive and delusional.
July 21st, 2012 at 6:28 am
Ted —— As an adult, my SO gets to decide if she wants my leadership or not. How can anyone with any bit of morality or even conscious simply decide for another adult what is best for them? ——
An effective leader is one whom people DESIRE to follow. If people follow because they feel obligated, guilty or coereced, things won’t go well. It’s like the difference between busting ass for your boss at work because you like him and want him to look good for his boss…. or doing it because you hate the guy, but need a paycheck.
By definition, if you are an effective leader of your relationship, the other person won’t object. It’s a lack of leadership skills that cause problems.
As for your partner not having a choice…. of course she has one. She can accept your leadership, or she can NEXT you and find some other guy. And no, I’ve never sat down and explicitly had this conversation with a girl I was dating. But it’s something I’ve effectively sub-communicated through my actions.
——- Do you honestly not see that as arrogant? I’m not saying I’m incapable of doing it, and in fact I believe that having the “reins” in the relationship would allow me to improve things easier and with less drama. However, if it goes against her will, then I have no claim to that role. ——-
Why is her will more important than yours? You said you want the reins. More precisely that you believe having them would lead to an improved relationship with less drama. And yet you won’t claim them because it goes against her will.
Take charge. One of two things will happen. 1: She’ll give you her implicit approval by staying with you. Judge what she wants by her actions not her words. It’s entirely possible she says she hates it, but stays anayways. 2: She’ll let you know she hates it by leaving. You’ll be free to pursue a relationship where you can hold the reins and be happy. And she’ll be free to find some other guy that’s willing to let her be in charge. In either scenario, you both win.
As for the arrogance thing.
Arrogance. Adj. having or showing an EXAGGERATED opinion of one’s own importance, merit, ability, etc. (emphasis mine).
Calling yourself the leader of your household and your relationship is only arrogant if you aren’t the actual leader. Sure, a number of pissed off women are going to shame you by calling you arrogant. Who cares?
——- Unless of course you are implying that it is my role by default since she agreed to be in a relationship with me. ——-
BINGO!
——That would be fine provided it was laid out in the beginning and clearly stated. However I don’t think there are many if any modern American women that in any way believe it. In fact, I would wager that most are completely against the concept. —–
NO! NEVER clearly state it. Like I said above, subcommunicate.
As for most women being against the concept, again, judge her actions not her words. A woman may happily tell all her friends how she doesn’t like dominant males, how she has her man wrapped around her finger because he’s so pathetically in love, etc. Yet when he makes a decision, it’s final and she submits to it.
That’s part of why subcommunication is key. It allows her to maintain this level of deniability between her actions and her words. So you’re partially correct. Almost all women will CLAIM they are completely against the concept. But in practice, very few women will ever leave a man because he’s strong and authoritative.
August 8th, 2012 at 11:05 am
[…] on the Tomassi scale. She’s not a stunner, but then, that’s why she’s the perfect Lego brick to play Bella; socccer moms and tweens can see past her as a place holder into which they can cast […]
August 28th, 2012 at 3:31 pm
Twilight was pretty bad — 50 Shades of Grey was even worse. Seems that, yes, all you need to do is insert a shell of a woman and a “DILDO”, as this blog post puts it (http://www.corporateincolorado.com/?p=125) and you’ve got a bestseller.
September 6th, 2012 at 11:34 am
[…] drawn into casting themselves in the role of Steve’s Columbian target (not unlike the Twilight Dynamic). For blue-pills and white knights, it’s easily dismissed as some girl who “has no […]
October 2nd, 2012 at 11:47 am
[…] and her offspring. Women will mitigate this arousal-attraction imbalance with their own forms of pornography or self-initialized rationalization about their ‘deeper maturity’, but in essence the […]
July 6th, 2014 at 6:42 pm
LOL
Wake up,Ted D
The Matrix has you . . .
February 9th, 2015 at 1:06 pm
[…] Dalrock delivered this fantastic comment in one of my threads years ago, but I’m reminded of it now: […]