As many of my readers know Mrs. Tomassi and I are raising a daughter. We had one child by design, and in all honesty I’m rather relieved it was a girl. Take this however you’d like, but I think raising a girl has allowed me more insight into how women grow and mature into young women, and it’s been through this experience that I’ve based more than a few of my theories on.
I have one younger brother, so the maturation process of growing up female was something I’ve never been familiar with until the past 15 years. I suppose the possibility exists that I may at some point be able to pass on my Red Pill wisdom to a future grandson, certainly my brother’s son, and many older male relatives, however I don’t really have any regrets since I’ve had more private messages and consult requests (I do read all of them) from the sons I never had.
One of the best compliments I get from Red Pill fathers is when they email me about how they’ve bought an extra copy of The Rational Male that they plan to give to their sons or some other male relative. Nothing encourages me to keep writing than the stories I receive like this – this is why I published the book.
So it was with some admitted pride that I came across this post on the Red Pill reddit forum. Testerod brings an insightful list of points he plans to teach his son(s). I may at some point write a list like this for my daughter, but I thought this was good enough for a standalone post that might inspire some discussion over the weekend.
I came to RP late in life, and looking back on my 45 years, I now see that my path to happiness as an adult could have been much smoother had I known and internalized RP truths as an adolescent… Looking back on my relationships over the years, I can now see as clear as day that when I was successful it was because I was in an alpha frame… When I crashed and burned, it’s because I demonstrated beta behaviors.
My dad never really gave me the sex talk growing up. His abbreviated version of it was “I don’t care who you do, just don’t do it under my roof.” Marginally helpful maybe, but I could have avoided lots of crashing and burning had he given me some version of what I lay out below.
It’s still too early for the sex talk with my own son, but I want to be fully prepped at the right time to share as many RP truths with my son. In fact, I think it’s probably one of the most important things I can do to prepare him for manhood.
So, I wanted to pose the questions: A) What is the appropriate age to have “the talk” with my son? I’m currently thinking around the age when he starts becoming interested in girls (13-14). B) Would love to get your thoughts on some bulleted wisdom to share with him at the right time. Here’s some ideas I’ve been thinking about sharing:
- (13 & up) Whatever you do, don’t settle for one girl (oneitis) until much later in life. Play the field, spin plates, date lots of girls. This is the only way you’ll be able to separate the wheat from the chaff and realize what you really want in an LTR relationship down the road if/when you want a family.
- (13 & up) Your physical characteristics matter (looks, body type, etc.)… An alpha attitude matters more.
- (13 & up) Don’t chase. Be aloof. Let girls come to you. If you do pursue, do it in a carefully calculated way: Pursue and retreat. Push and pull.
- (13 & up) Keep her constantly guessing. Always let her know that you have options.
- (13 & up) Texting, phone calls, etc… Be disciplined in your response. Use the 1-3 ratio in responding to her texts, phone calls. Give her one short text response/phone conversation for every three she gives you.
- (13 & up) Define your mission and pursue it (not girls) passionately. Admittedly, this will be undefined and in flux for an adolescent, but whether it’s sports, studies, extracurricular activities, make those your first priority.
- (13 & up)
Develop a keen understanding of the psychological/biological nature of women… Understand how girls think. They are ALWAYS looking to upgrade. If you’re not always the “best in show”, they WILL cheat on youfind someone else.
- (13 & up) Nice guys finish last. There’s a reason all the girls like the boy who (good naturedly) teases them.
- (17 & up) Niceness will never get you laid, but will put you forever in the friend zone and give you a terrible case of blue balls.
- (17 & up) Be a leader in every relationship. If you’re on a date, make sure you’re doing something that YOU want to do. She can come along for the ride.
- (17 & up) Understand shit tests and learn to master them. Girls will always be qualifying you to make sure you’re the alpha male she wants you to be. If you start getting a lot of shit tests, re-evaluate your frame — you’re probably coming across as too needy.
- (17 & up) Understand female physiology and how to bring a woman to orgasm.
- (17 & up) Girls are the gatekeepers to sex. Men are the gatekeepers to relationships. Never forget this and be stingy as hell with your relationships.
- (17 & up) Girls will love you, but only opportunistically. If you demonstrate lower value (DLV), their love for you will evaporate.
- (17 & up) Show your beta traits occasionally, but use extreme caution when dong so. Girls will want to see that you are stoic, self-reliant, and confident. If you want a shoulder to cry on, get a dog. Use beta comfort only as a reward for good behavior.
- (17 & up)Be dominant in the relationship, in your life, and in the bedroom.
- (17 & up)Smile less, smirk more.
- (13 & up) Tease relentlessly.
- (17 & up) Learn what style of game works best for you: Are you the extroverted “cocky-funny” type? Are you the introverted “aloof-amused mastery type?” Are you the asshole type?
- (13 & up) Stay away from online porn.
- (13 & up) As an adolescent, you will be consumed with thoughts of sex. Fapping is inevitable. Don’t overdo it though. Control your masculine energy so that it can be harnessed outwardly instead of inwardly in the realm of fantasy.
- (17 & up) Realize that the build up of testosterone is what gives you your masculine energy. Don’t fap as a crutch to avoid meaningful interactions with real women. That guy who sits in his basement fapping to online porn all day? Don’t be that guy. Women are repulsed by him because his masculine energy is depleted and he has not learned to focus that energy on real women.
- (17 & up) Embrace the fact that men have huge sexual appetites. Never be ashamed of this and fully appreciate your masculine sexuality.
- (17 & up) Understand a female menstrual cycle and what it means for them, and more importantly for you (e.g. up the alpha during ovulation, throw in some beta during shark week.)
- (17 & up) Understand that for females, sexual arousal typically takes place in the brain and that they are less visually aroused than you are.
- (17 & up) Make sure that your sexual market rank is at least 1-2 points above hers at all times. This can be done either with attitude, physical fitness, your life passion or some combination of the above.
- (13 & up) Learn not to fear rejection. In game as in life, failure is the best teaching tool there is.
- (17 & up) Approach and open often. The more girls you talk to, the more you’ll refine your specific style and what works for you.
- (13 & up) Don’t think doing nice things for girls (giving them flowers, valentines, carrying their books, etc.) will make them like you more. It won’t. But they will swoon over you if you’re a fully complete, self-confident, at ease individual in your own right.
- (13 & up) Adolescence sucks. You will likely be filled with insecurities, you’ll be self-conscious, you’ll think you look like a goof, you’ll say dumb things to girls and then obsess about it. It’s only temporary… You’re learning and practicing the skills to be a man and there will be failures and mistakes. Always remember that everyone of your peers is going through the exact same thing.
- (17 & up) Push boundaries, take risks and be exciting… Even when you’re scared shitless. There’s nothing sexier to a woman than a man who is unafraid to embrace challenges.
- (13 & up) Don’t EVER BE A DOORMAT. The minute a girl disrespects you call her on it. And if she continues to disrespect you “next” her immediately no matter how emotionally difficult it is. This is absolutely critical to build your long term self-respect/self-confidence.
Admittedly, the list isn’t exhaustive, but interested in your thoughts and what else I’m leaving out.
If you cannot teach your son positive masculinity, the Feminine Imperative and a fem-centric world will tech him its version of masculinity.